#i wonder how they'd feel if i told them i've been harassed before. like did they forget that's a thing that happens

[infinitystation]

dont know if this is a very common experience, but in MY experience, cis people actually do not care about gendered bathrooms. until you're trans. people at my work are ALWAYS saying "men's bathroom was full so i just went in the women's" and vice versa and saying "oh that bathroom is out of toilet paper, just go in the other one"

damn, yall aren't scared of being hatecrimed? shot? accused of being One Of Us? so it actually DOESN'T matter which bathroom we use??? so then the bathroom debate was just because you want the evil trans people to never be seen in public so that YOU can be free to do whatever you want, got it

[elderemorune]

"Just Ignore It"

It feels like a lifetime since I last heard that phrase.

Given my name, you probably know who I hung out with back in middle school. I was absolutely in love with the emo girls in my school, and I mean obsessed. I loved their aesthetic, and they were the first people to ever accept me as I was. I wrote them poetry and shared my food with them, did whatever I could to express my affection for them.

In hindsight, I was a creep, but I was in middle school and hadn't yet learned how to be a functioning human being. I was socially inept, and all I knew how to be was a kid. I didn't have any of the concepts the other kids in my school did, I didn't know what drugs were, or what sex was. I was fucking 11, man.

The other kids didn't really like me much. I was constantly verbally harassed, beaten, tripped, hell I even got sexually harassed in gym, and the teachers, of course, did nothing. The most egregious example of this was when I was in 7th grade, and my locker was in front of Mr. Beck's classroom, with the teacher standing by the door. This bigger boy, the wide receiver on the football team, decided he was going to call me the n word (I'm white, btw) and shoved me in my locker. I resisted, of course, and Beck heard me shouting.

So then he grabbed the other boy and sent him to in-schoo- I'm fucking joking of course he didn't do that. He grabbed my happy ass and sent me to in-school-suspension for 'fighting'. Didn't even touch the other kid who literally had his hands on me. I know what Beck saw, he just didn't act because football fans stick together or some shit.

My folks believed the bruises I brought home, but they only ever offered the most useless phrase I've ever heard. "Just ignore your bullies, they'll go away. They just want a reaction."

No. They didn't want a fucking reaction, they wanted someone they could beat without protest, someone they could get away with hurting. And since none of the admins liked me, I was an easy target.

The teachers didn't like me much either, Especially not Mrs. Ty, who taught math. There were two events in her class. The first was when I had to pass gas during a test. Yes, dear readers, I had merely farted in her presence, and she demanded I leave. Before you ask what else I had done, I hadn't done anything. I was sitting at my desk, doing my questions and trying to be quiet because I fucking hated Mrs. Ty and her class. It wasn't even a loud one! But the room was quiet and everyone heard it. Pink with embarrassment, I said "Excuse me." and she just said "Out. Leave your test, you're done."

So I sat in the hall. One of the hall monitors asked me what had happened, and I told her. Of course, she didn't believe me. Why would she? No teacher would ever remove a child for something so inane! My parents also did not believe me. The felt me to be a liar, largely due to my sister's influence. She would say I did something, I would say I didn't, they'd punish me anyway because "Your sister saw you do it" was good enough. (Is it any wonder why I fucking hate authority figures?)

Anyway, I got home that day, and my folks grounded me. All they'd been told was that I had been removed from class, not why, and when I told them, my mom said to my face "If you're going to lie, why go with such a stupid one?" To which I said "Exactly! Why would I lie about something so stupid?"

As part of my grounding, I had to go run errands with mom. If we hadn't run into one of the other kids from my class at the gas station, my folks would never have believed me. He walked right up and said "Hey Rune, I'm sorry Miss Ty kicked you out of class for farting, it was so stupid." And by god did my mom turn pink. She got me a soda and apologized for not believing me. "But you have to understand kid, you lie so much, how was I supposed to?" (Again, I never really lied all that much, aside from the typical 'I didn't do it!' that kids do).

The other event was during some time at the end of a different Math class. There was this big guy in the class, Trevor. Hot temper, mean streak a mile wide, awful person. He'd dropped his pencil, and I'd grabbed it to give it back to him. Rather than waiting, he stood up, grabbed my desk, and flipped it (and me) over. Then sat back down.

As you can guess, nothing happened to him.

At that point, I'd decided I was done listening to my parents tell me to ignore them. The next time someone fucked with me, I was going to fuck right back.

It didn't take long for it to happen, either. Later, we were in Social Studies, and the teacher had left the room for whatever reason. Trevor and his fucking goons decided to gang up not on me, but on one of the other kids, Ben.

Now, Ben and I hadn't spoken much, kid's on the spectrum something fierce and was difficult to talk to, but he didn't deserve them throwing his shit around. So I stood up. Trevor looked at me and said "What the fuck do you think you're gonna do, huh?"

At the time, I was short, I was skinny, and I was fast. I punched Trevor right in his stupid fucking nose, and screamed "THAT!"

Footsteps in the hall, teacher's coming back. I said "You will not mess with me, or with my friend here ever again." and sat back at my desk, trying desperately to look calm. She came in, saw Trevor's bloody nose, and asked what the hell happened.

Much to my shock, nobody said a goddamn word.

After that, everyone took to ignoring me. Which suited me much better anyway, I hated them more than they ever disliked me. And I came away with one of my first friends, Ben! We still shoot the shit and play Pokemon to this day.

I've since reached out to some of those guys, the ones I could find, and found out what had them so fucked up back in the day. I don't hate them anymore, and that's about where I'll leave that, since those stories aren't mine to share.

I don't regret punching Trevor, and I don't think I ever will. And by the gods above and those below, I will never tell my kids to just ignore their bullies until they go away. My kids will know how to fight, and they'll know just how much they mean to the world around them.