#i won't........... it'll make me regret buying either one of these

[mifunebooty]

Now I have both the cape fear movies, I need to never do the fatal move of watching the cape fear movies from the original to the remake because then it'll turn disastrous and comical how different they are.....

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Twenty Four}

Alastor x (fem)Reader

It had been about a week since that incident, I was still a little shaken from it. Though, I tried to keep my composure, and act normally. Most seem to buy it, except for two people. Angel Dust, he saw right through my act. He tried to make me feel better. Talking to me, inviting me out with him and Cherri. While I appreciated his efforts, it didn't help much. I tried to put his own worries at ease, but I wasn't much help either.

Then there was Alastor. Even if I wanted to pretend like everything was fine, it wouldn't convince him. He was patient with me and understanding. He did as I asked, and kept quiet about what he did to Liam. Though, telling from the grin on his face, he was satisfied with what he's done. 

Today, Alastor had stopped by my room. He wanted to take a crack at trying to cheer me up too. But, the way he went about it was...shocking.

I answer the door, I've learned overtime that his knock pattern was different from the others. He stared down at me with a friendly(?) grin. "Good evening Y/n! How are you feeling?" He asks. I shrug. "About the same." Not great, but not terrible either. Somewhere in between. But, it wasn't a good in between. I knew that much.

"Well, that's not good." Alastor knew it too. "It's because of that, I came by. I wanted to ask you to join me this evening." 

"Join you? I don't know Alastor, I'm not really in the mood to be going anywhere. I could tell I was dampening the mood, when Angel invited me out recently. I don't want to do the same with you." I tell him.

"Nonsense! You never let my spirits down! Y/n, I feel like this would be good for you. Trust me, you'll have a blast!" Alastor quickly adds. "And before you say anything, no, this evening will not involve murder or maiming of any kind." 

"Then, what were you planning?" I ask him. Alastor offers his hand. "That's for you to find out." I hesitated, but took his hand anyway. "Aha! Wonderful! I assure you Y/n, you won't regret it!" He begins to walk with me, but pauses after taking another look at me. I raise an eyebrow. "What?" 

"I feel as if we should properly dress for the evening, shouldn't we?" He says before snapping his fingers. Suddenly, we were both wearing new outfits.

I wore a red midi dress with a black bow tied around my waist. While Alastor wore a red suit, because of course it was red.

"Perfect!" Alastor exclaims. "Alright, are you ready, dear?" He asks. "I don't think I will ever get use to sudden wardrobe changes. But yes, I am ready." Alastor chuckles at my comment before leading me out. He teleports us both, as not to draw attention from the others in hotel.

We had traveled to a upscale part of the city, anyone here clearly were proper and fairly rich. I felt so out of place, though Alastor acts as if he's been here hundreds of times. He probably has, now that I think about it.

"I say we should start the evening off with a nice meal. What do you think?" Alastor asks me. I couldn't pass up the chance for food, especially when I haven't ate all day. "That sounds fine." I tell him. Alastor leads me to a fancy looking restaurant.

He informed the host of his name and reservation, and was swiftly welcomed in. Though, I'm sure without one he'd get in. He was an overlord after all.

We were brought to our seats, and given a bottle of wine that was sat in a small bucket of ice. The host told us our waiter would be with us momentarily before excusing himself. "I know you don't drink, so I won't force you. But, if you change your mind..." Alastor says as he pours both of us a glass. "It'll be there." 

"Well, it's not like I don't drink ever." I say while taking the glass. "I just, prefer not to over do it. I like to keep it light, you know?" I then took a sip. Wow. This is good. I dare not think about just how much this wine costed alone, on top of sitting down to eat here.

"Understandable." Alastor nods as he takes a sip himself. "I don't think I've gotten drunk in a while. Last time I did, I believe I found myself in a part of the pride ring I'd never been to before. Apparently, in my drunken state, I had bet quite the sum of money on a race horse...and lost." 

I couldn't help but laugh a bit at that. "How much did you drink?" I ask. "Couldn't tell ya. But my pockets were hurting for a bit after that, I can say that for certain." Alastor chuckles.

"I can't even remember why I was drinking that much to begin with. But I recall Mimzy being there, and when Mimzy and I drink together...The night can take us literally anywhere. I even asked her, and she can't remember why either. But she had gotten herself into some trouble as well." He takes another swig. 

"This Mimzy girl sounds like a blast." I say with a smile. "Oh, she is." Alastor chuckles. "Quite the trouble maker too. But, she's a decent woman. Me and her go way back. We were good friends when we were alive." He tells me. "We got each other out of a few sticky situations, every now and then." 

"I notice your quite popular with women." I say. "You get along with them better, and it seems you only make friends with women. I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend, or a wife." Alastor shrugs. "I was never interested. Romance, love, it was never a priority." 

"Oh, I see." Something about hearing that made me a little disappointed. Not upset. But, I guess I was hoping for something? Then again, this could be a good thing. My delusions and silly emotions could finally settle. At least now, I know for sure I won't get hurt again.

Our waiter then arrived, and took our orders. As we ate, me and Alastor talked about all sorts of things. He told me a bit about his living days. How he was a popular radio host, though that was unsurprising. How he basically came from nothing made something of himself all on his own.

And being a black man in a time like that, it was more than a little difficult. But he did it, and he was damn proud of it too. He told me more stories of him and Mimzy, and from what he talked about, she was a handful. She would get herself into trouble and usually Alastor would have to help her out. But, she would always make up for it somehow.

By the end of dinner, he would take me to a jazz lounge. The relaxing atmosphere, along with a few drinks, had put me a calmer mood. While the restaurant made me a little anxious, this place was the total opposite. Jazz wasn't my most preferred music, but I still liked and appreciate it.

And as I said, it was very relaxing. I take a look around, there was a few couples in lounge, cuddled up next to each other. I smiled at the sight, but it made me a little jealous. My gaze then moved to Alastor. He was focused on the performance, so he didn't catch my stare.

Maybe it was the alcohol finally settling in, but, the lighting of the lounge made him look very handsome. And we were sitting so close, our shoulders nearly touched. My cheeks began to heat up, and I prayed he could hear my heart beating as fast as it was. 

"I was never interested. Romance, love, it was never a priority." 

My heart started to settle, upon remembering those words. I turn to face the stage, feeling that same twinge of disappointment again. 

After that, Alastor and I took a stroll trough the city. We didn't talk much, but it was a comfortable silence. My arm interlocked with Alastors as we walked.

The night here in Hell was different from the one on Earth. Instead of a black sky full of stars, the red sky was a cool maroon. Even the bright pentagram had dimmed down, still bright enough to light the sky, but not enough to hurt your eyes. It was like looking at the moonlight. 

"Y/n?"

I looked up at Alastor. "Did you have a nice time?" He asked me. I smile and nod my head. "I did. Thank you." Alastor's grin soften, he turned his attention ahead and kept walking. As we walked, the sound of music steadily grew louder.

Ahead of us, was a street performer, who was playing a saxophone. There was a small gathering of demons who watched him play, some playing money into the saxophone case next to him. He was pretty good.

Alastor suddenly stopped walking, unhooking his arm from mine, and twirled me around. "Alastor?" I gasp slightly. "May I have this dance?" He asks, pulling me close. "I thought I told you, I can't dance." I laugh weakly. 

"You did fine the last time we danced." Alastor said, beginning to move. "Don't focus on the dancing, just focus on me." I tried to do what he said, keeping my eyes on him, trying to drown out my thoughts as we danced.

I follow his lead, and like before, he was perfect. I couldn't help but wonder how long he'd been dancing. 

I became less tense by the second, just taking it all in. The soft music in my ears, the beautiful city lights. The very same feeling I had when Alastor held me like this before...I couldn't help but smile, and finally give in. Alastor made it clear, he wasn't interested in romance. But it was a nice thought. 

It was nice to pretend for a while. Just for tonight, just in this moment. 

 As the song slowed to an end, Alastor and I found ourselves closer than when we started. Our lips but inches away from each other's. I half expected Alastor to back away after the song finally ended.

But, he stayed put. His eyes, looking deep into my own. I swore I saw something in his, I had never seen from him before.

It was really nice to pretend...

I inwardly sighed before pulling away from him. "That was nice." I say softly. Alastor was silent for a moment before speaking. 

"Yes...Yes, it was."

Tag List! @krak-jj

@martinys-world

@cherry-cola-100

[vitzi9]

Merry Christmas !

Ghostface x Gn!reader

Masterlist if you want to read my other things.

TW/CW: reader has a mother, breaking in, brief mention of kys

Merry (late) Christmas to those who celebrates it and even those who don't. Also happy new year, I hope this year will be full of money and health for you all. Also if you have any projects I deeply hope it'll realize.

I have the unpleasant feeling this work is sloppy and that I'm regressing and losing vocabulary. Also Ethan gave me the ick here, I made him a total loser.

I literally wrote so many different things and yet I can't finish any of them, this is pure torture.

05/01/2024 (7 409 words)

You're not one to go all out for Christmas, most of the time, it's just a pretext for family to gather and eat and share some juicy gossip. And you love it ! When they're not pestering you with question about your love life or job or study or just anything boring.

This year, you all gathered at your aunt's house. She's a single mother of one, they live alone in this huge cottage far away from the city you're used to. It's nice living here but it's deeply disabling being obligated to use your car to just buy some bread.

In New York, you either walk or use public transports.

It's still fun to be here on vacations, it changes from your daily life. Your mom is going back and forth between the car and the house to empty the car boot, you on the other side, are stuck with your aunt and cousin. Your aunt is telling you how glad she is to finally see the whole family together, saying how much you've grown and bla bla bla.

"Come help me with your stuff !" your mom calls you from outside.

Not making her repeat herself by fear of regretting it later, you hurry to the alley outside. Your mother is already emptying the car, throwing your bags on the ground and frenetically searching for what you assume are her phone, in your pocket.

Walking to her side, you hand her her phone which owes you a thanks before she pulls you to the car trunk. Sighing, your hand grab the bag you brought with you full with clothes. You're staying here for a week after all ! But you can't even take out the bag entirely from its confine as something lower catch your eyes; the tire. It's all deflated.

"Mom, is it me or our tire's flat ?" you make her know instantly. She turns her head to you and frowns.

"Shit you're right." she double check."That's weird, it wasn't like that when we parked here earlier." A small silence filled with bird's singing and light wind replace her words. "It's just our luck, she sighs. We'll change it the day of our departure, your aunt probably has a spare tire."

Your mom doesn't let you answer as she grabs her bag and leave to the house. You're left alone before the open car boot, thinking about your bad luck. Here, it's a necessity to have a working car ! The nearest grocery store is hours away from here by foot and thirty minutes by car.

Crouching down, you put your hand on the holed tire to examine it. You don't really understand, that's some really bad gash, what the hell ? What did you even drove on ? The hole is as big as the length of two of your index fingers. Surely even driving over a nail wouldn't do that.

Are animals frequent in this area ? Or maybe it was already holed at home but the long road worsen it. Just your luck, from every car in the country, or even just the ones here, your car had to be targeted. The world hates you. You hope you won't often need to use your car.

Grabbing the handle of your bag, you slam the trunk door of the vehicle and head to your room. Damn, you kind of missed this place to be honest. You have pretty good memories from here !

The house is quite separated from the other, forest being the only thing present here. You remember climbing up trees, playing in the snow or watching TV before the chimney. And this exact room in which you're staying for the week already hosted you, with its heavy blankets that more often than not itches but are too warm to let go.

You know this place all too well.

What changed ? Life was so cool before, so simple. You did not have to go to a school you don't even like, you never even had to think about later. Your later was asking yourself what would be your next snack. And yet, here you are today, thrown in adult world. And you're deeply lost, everything is so slow and fast at the same time.

You fear you might lose your friends by changing University, you fear to start everything over again, you fear to stay forever stuck in a job you don't like. This room offers you a moment of peace, a portal from your childhood reminding you how everything was easier before.

Shame hits you because you know you'll have to come down to greet everyone when you have nothing to talk about. You're not excellent at school, nor bad, just in the fair middle. You don't have any partner, but you have a few friends. Your life's just boring and you don't want to tell it to everyone. Each one of your cousin always find something to be proud of, you don't have much, nothing to brag about.

To light up the mood, you turn on your phone to send a message to one of your friends; she seems busy as she's not answering. Same for the few others friends you have, some you're not even that close to, only friends at school.

Delight cross you in seeing someone writing you, only for the name to disappear immediately before you're able to see it. Man, you could have finally erased the boredom.

After some time mourning in your corner, your mom yelled at you from the living room to get down to greet the family. Sighing, you turn off your phone and rise up from your bed.

A faint music was heard in the background already, small snacks could be seen scattered a little everywhere on every surface and your aunts, cousins and uncles were greeting each others warmly.

Your mom tells you to come beside her by a sign of the hand, going down each stairs slowly, taking your time, you think about your bed which you already miss.

Greeting every person on the way, smiling, taking news from the family you dare ask yourself what have you done to deserve such a big household. By the time you reach your mom, she grabs your arms and put you right before one of your aunt, the conversation quickly drift to you.

"So ? What do you do now ? How's your new school ? Did you make any friends ? your aunt asks.

You reminded her that you were now in University and not in middle school in a teasing tone, to what she gasped before asking you your age and proceeding to moan about how time flies.

-Last time I saw you you were still so small !

-Show them the picture you have with your friends." your mom almost order you. By her tone and eagerness, you couldn't tell if it was pride of what her child has became, or fear of judgement from the others. As if they were going to shame her for having a kid who did nothing with their life, scared of them thinking you were a loser.

You take out your phone, scroll in your gallery to find the group photo of you and your friends. Your smiles are fake and awkward because the teacher is the one taking the picture. A few months ago, all of you handed a quite big model of the building for a homework, you honestly chose the University's building by lack of better idea. But your teacher was delighted, to everyone's surprise.

He insisted on taking a picture of you all with it to mark this moment forever, congratulating you and complimenting your skills and everything. Did you deserve all this ? No. Did you complaint ? Neither.

Your aunt seems to light up at the mere idea of you having friends, and showing her. It probably makes her feel part of your life. One by one, you present her your friends. Throwing a few anecdotes here and here. She tells you who she thinks is the meanest, the kindest, the prettiest.

Finally, everyone was presented. Smiling lightly, she tells you that she's proud you're working that hard and you turn off the phone. You wanted to leave and grab something to drink when your aunt seize your arm with a frown.

-Where do you think you're going ?

Damn, what is it this time ?

-I don't think I met everyone. Come back here.

The woman practically forces you to turn on your phone once more to show her the picture. You don't outright understand what's the matter as everyone was already introduced, it's when she uses her pointer to show you someone that it clicks.

-And who are those men ? And this girl ? What are you hiding ?

-This photo was taken a while back now, my friends and I don't really talk much to them anymore.

Her eyes glint with a funny mischievous light when problems are mentioned. She slaps kindly your arms, pushing you to tell her everything. You laugh.

-The one with the sleeveless shirt is Chad, the girl next to him is Mindy, they're siblings. The guy all to the left and next to me is Ethan.

-What happened ? They all seem nice !

Well, they are in a way. It's just stupid disputes that destroyed everything. Chad tried flirting with one of your friends, it did not lead to anything as he suddenly went with a certain Tara. When he was faced with the problems he created himself, he said that flirting wasn't equal to a relationship, that he owed you guys nothing.

Your friend was hurt, Mindy wanted to comfort her but, well, she's good friend with Tara and she's Chad's sister so it was complicated. You still talk occasionally with Mindy by the way, she was really nice and never did anything against you. It's just awkward now. But it's not her fault.

So yeah, you stopped hanging out together.

Your aunt was nodding throughout your story, listening carefully, sometimes throwing in some anecdotes of her, sometimes giving her opinion on the matter.

-And the other one ? she asks and for a moment you're confused who she's talking about until she points her interest on your phone.

Right, Landry. You completely forgot about him. He's on the picture since he was working with you as well but to be honest, you're not really close.

He's the only one who stayed with you despite the whole flirting argument. According to him, he likes both groups and is close to both side and it's okay, he's not the one who cheated on someone. But, yeah, it's strange.

No, scratch that, not it, he's strange.

He's in love with one of your friend. Well, you think he is anyway. They're often talking, on the phone and outside. He's always taking part in your group hangouts, buying foods, cinema ticket to whoever forgot money. You could've liked him if he talked to you, because he never.

Every time, and it's not even exaggerated, literally every time, you are all together, Ethan does not glance your way. Even for a second, you could talk to him and he'd answer with short words in a curt tone without looking at you to your face !

And you asked everyone, you're the only one with whom he acts this way.

While he's all lovey dovey with your closest friend. Closest not because you rate your group of friend, that'd be mean, but because you've known her for the longest time. He's following her, she's always the one to bring him to your parties and he'd mostly talk to her. Damn, you're a group, if he doesn't like you what the hell is he still doing here ?

Plus, your friend always talk your ear off about him, how he's so sweet, cute, smart and whatever. Sometimes you feel like she's trying to sell him to you the same way blender or vacuum cleaner are sold on TV.

Anyway, Ethan's weird and he's not your friend.

You simply told your aunt he was the boyfriend of one of your friend, that is partially false as he probably has a huge crush on her, to which she smiled and finally let you go.

You like your family, but you don't feel like telling this all over again to everyone here.

You spent the whole evening chatting with the kids and taking news out of the oldest. Them, on the other hand, kept asking you about a potential partner, school, grades and future. It was tiring but in the middle of it all were laughs, tears and anecdotes you would never forget.

The night has long arrived when everyone start talking about a children Christmas's show happening in town. From what you understood, there would be giant muppet. Some were reluctant because of the driving time and the sun setting but the kids were now overexcited at the idea of seeing muppet dancing.

Honestly, you didn't want to go but they've decided to go out all together now, you didn't have much say in it. Even if you hoped you wouldn't leave the house for tonight.

You weren't feeling it, already tired from the trip and the day. You lied about having a bad headache to stay in. You could rest and enjoy that big house all to yourself that way.

It was hard to survive the strongly disapproving stare of your mother and her dark look but you made it ! You still don't know how, usually, your mom is quite severe on the whole family reunion and she wants you to be there all the time, something about you being disrespectful.

She tells you not to get used to it but while leaving, you hear the others tell her that since your car can't drive because of its tire, there wouldn't have any seat left for you anyway. To what some answer that there'll always be a place for everyone (but you chose to ignore that). Just your luck ! Maybe the world doesn't hate you. This flat tire reveals itself to be a gift.

Slowly but surely, the house empty itself. Each member of the family zip their warm jacket to the very top, preventing the smallest wind to pass through. Your aunt, the owner of the house, comes talk to you with a smile.

"You're not gonna try and sneak your lover in, do you ?

You laugh nervously, still not used to this kind of attention. No, auntie, don't you worry. It's not like you have someone in your life. You assure her that no, you won't sneak anyone in here. Plus, it's kind of gross to do dirty things in the family house but you did not tell her that.

She kisses your cheek, zip her jacket as well and leave the house. Standing before the window, you wave at everyone entering the multiple cars. A few minutes later, the vehicles are gone, only the tire's marks on the frosted dirt are left. You sigh, listening to the quiet wind outside the house, feeling safer than ever.

Finally, peace.

No children running, no parents yelling, no messy conversation screamed; just silence. You can breath and hear yourself think. Without the agitation of everyone, you truly feel the cool atmosphere of the house for the first time.

Should you light the chimney ? Not now, it's not that cold yet. You have time. You smile thinking about it. Yes, you have time ! In fact, you have the whole rest of the evening just for you ! Beaming, you run to your room to change in comfortable pajamas.

Your aunt probably has food in her kitchen but even though she's family, you're uncomfortable at the idea of taking stuff from her without asking. So you grabbed your own snacks. It's weird considering she always offer you to eat all you want.

When in underwear, you think that a good bath would actually be better than just changing into other clothes. And that's what you did, you turned on the water, put your music as loud as you could and slide in the bathtub, enjoying the warm water in these freezing days.

A good hour has gone since everyone had left, silence filled your ears. You were fully ready to sleep in your bed and rest. Well, that was your plan anyway until something crashed into the house startling you like never.

You curse, trying to ease your speeding heart. What the hell ? The sound came from above and then it was just next to you. Did something fall from the roof ? The sound crossed the house !

Of course, with a sound so precise, you immediately thought of the chimney. Did something just fall from it ? Like a tile or something bigger ? A brick, or more ?

Well, you're a little too old to believe in Santa Claus by now, but uh, you're not dreaming, right ? Okay, it's late, you're alone, it's creepy but that sound was probably from animals outside or decoration falling ? Plus, that house's old, it creaks sometimes. It's nothing, right ? Okay, it's clearly not creaking sounds but still.

You wait as still as a statue, contemplating your options. It's nothing, probably, as no sound can be heard anymore. So yeah, a brick that is.

Why does this kind of shit has to happen to you when you're alone ? Your whole family was literally here one hour ago ! You wouldn't be so paranoid if they were still with you !

Slowly but surely, taking your sweet time to get down each steps, you feel your phone vibrating in your hand in the process but aren't interested enough to look at it, eyes boring hole around you.

But when you set foot in the main room, you're terrified to discover ashes scattered on the ground from the chimney and further away in the room, reaching the kitchen, like something had spread them, leaving some kind of footprints. It wasn't human foot shape, fortunately, but it wasn't any animal's paw shape either.

What the fuck ?

Something entered ? What the hell ? How did it even went in the chimney in the first place ? Okay, you're creeped out now. Only, there's no sound in the house. It does not help you feel better, you have no idea if an animal's here with you, and if it's an animal, what kind ? It has to be heavy to do such a sound when falling and trailing that much ashes, on the other hand, it is able to climb a roof, apparently. You dearly hope it's not a bear, well, it's hard for a bear to enter by a chimney but, you know.

Quietly, you get out of the house without even bothering to take a jacket with you. There is absolutely no way you are staying in this haunted ass house. Alone in the snow outside, your eyes are fixated to the windows to search any kind of suspect movements, there's none.

You are absolutely freezing when you take out your phone to dial your aunt number. You need to ask her if there's any weird animals lurking in the area.

But of course, now that you're outside, there's no internet. Okay, you have to go back inside. It's okay, it's probably a bear, yeah, a baby bear. All cute and soft.

But the more you think about it, less you're convinced it's an animal.

Because how the fuck would it be able to go on the roof ! You saw videos on internet showing bears opening doors, it's quite impressive actually, but rooftop ? No, if one of them wanted to enter, they would have passed by the garage or one of the numerous doors of the house, not the damn chimney.

Is Santa Claus going to kill you ? That's the worst death ever.

Freezing your ass off outside, you decide to stay on the terrace right before the front door to get internet without needing to enter. But of course it doesn't work, it's like the lines are cut. Plus, you were scared whatever was inside would be able to punch through the window to grab you, but it's the numerous horror movie you saw talking.

You honestly have no idea what's safer; staying outside in the cold or staying inside with the intruder.

If the phone don't work, you at least need to join your family in town. You don't remember correctly where is it but there's literally one single straight road so you can definitely manage. Looking over your shoulder, your eyes lay on the broken car in the alley.

Yes, one of the tire is flat but it still is able to drive, right ? You don't have any choice anyway. The closest city is something like thirty minutes in car away, so at foot ? Probably one hour. And without jacket in such an angry wind ? No, certainly not. You just need to get the key and you get out, simple.

They key, which is inside.

Okay, okay, you can do this. The key is directly to the left of the entrance, it's easy. You breath, hyping yourself up before you push the door open. It's creaking, your heart beats faster, but there is no sign of anyone having heard you. It could have tricked you into believing you imagined everything but the heavy ashes footstep are very well present.

Keeping your eyes on the house, trying to hold the perimeters safe and assuring nothing would come towards you, you throw your hand on the furniture supposed to held the key without looking at it. The door is still open wide behind you and you'd rather die than to close it even if it meant you were risking to catch a really bad cold for the rest of the holidays.

Only, after a few minutes, indicated by the stinging of your eyes after not blinking for so long, your hand remains empty. A quick glance to the furniture's way confirms you the worst: the keys are missing.

Of course, nothing's easy. Your mom probably took them to her room, to your despair. On the other hand, there's still no sound in the house, except for the strong wind coming from the open door behind you, which makes you cringe. If someone's here, the noise is definitely going to attract them to you. Though, you still don't want to close it.

What if it's a burglar ? What if they are burglars ? You pray it's not a group, hell, you hope no one's here ! But if you have to choose between being mugged by one or multiple people, the choice is already done.

Backing slowly, you start feeling watched and fear whatever's inside might come get you by behind thanks to the back door. You have to hurry, you go upstairs, you take the keys and you bolt outside. Yeah, it's easy, it's an easy plan.

Do you run ? It'll be quicker but you might be heard. Shit shit, what are you supposed to do ? You can't even pinpoint in which room, which area of the house the intruder is ! With your luck, you'll stumble on them in the hallway or even your bedroom.

You won't run, you're too terrified to do any sound. Removing your shoes, you put them between the wall and the door in order to block it if it ever comes to close while you weren't there. There's multiple carpet, your socks won't do too much sound and if you're too scared to put the shoes back when leaving you can still drive in socks, dangerous but you'll deal with that later.

One step at a time, you approach the creaking stairs, ears ready to isolate the slightest sound that could signify a presence near or far from you.

You would have much rather not use these stairs but they're the only way upstairs, even if they're noisy.

The first step is silent, just like the second and third, however, your weight on the next ones cause them to cry, making you wince and stop in your track. In total, this staircase is composed of fifteen steps. You know it, you've counted everything at least once here.

Fuck it, you already made too much noises. Whoever's here know damn well your position. Taking a big breath, you suddenly sprint every stairs, each one creaking in the process, not talking about the sound of your feet heavily hitting the wood. Stopping wasn't an option anymore, not being deterred, your legs finally bring you to your room where you lock yourself in, shutting the door with every locks available.

You sigh, falling to the ground and grabbing your shirt where your heart is. Your head is buzzing, your ears are ringing and your body screaming for help, everything is too hot for you, you can't think but you know it's not the end, you can't rest now.

So you get up and head as quietly as possible to the different furniture of the room. In your head, your pray that the intruder can't tell in which room you went. It's not long before you find the keys, your mum placed them beside your bag. And now ? It was a real trial having to come up here, and now you have to confront it all over again to go down ?

Okay, you're not mentally ready yet, you at least need to protect your back. You grab your phone, now having internet, and lowering the light as much as you can, you go to your socials to text someone.

You can't call the cops by yourself, it could mean talking and you can't allow that right now. However, your different social media won't even load. You're pretty sure a number for deaf people exist, but can't recall what is it. You try to type it on internet, but the page doesn't load as well. Of course, you don't have 4G since you're the one paying your subscription, that thing's expensive. Now, though, you really hate yourself.

To get out of this, you spam your friends phone in order for them to answer to make them call the police for you, the few of them that gave your their phone number at least. While doing so, you notice that Ethan Landry sent you a message a few minutes ago but deleted it. Weird, but he is so no surprise.

You don't stop spamming everyone, friends or family, it doesn't matter. But of course, your mum and the other are busy feasting staring at the show in town.

When you finally get an answer five minutes later (the longest minutes of your entire life), you feel relief flood your body, only for it to disappear when the name displayed was not the one of your friend, but of someone completely different.

Ethan Landry. Again. You retain a snort. Of course, him of all people. He doesn't have any damn social life, it's obvious he'd answer. He's typing, you wait impatiently for his message to be sent, it takes a few others seconds.

"Hey ^^" your screen displays. You want to explode your head on the nearest wall. Who's using those emojis ? "You're spending nice holidays ?" he adds.

What it that opening ? And why him ? Now ? He is not your friend, and isn't he busy ? Working too much for his class to stay the best of the best ? You don't want to talk to him. You're pensive, do you really have a choice in this situation ?

"I see you saw my message but haven't answered, are you ignoring me ?" And as if to light the mood of his already quite pitiful message, he sends you a small "lol".

No wonder he's still a virgin.

He's still online and you can't call anyone, if you talk, they're going to hear you. You don't like him but if he's the only one responding right now, you won't miss this chance. Just as you came to this conclusion, a noise of something falling echo through the house. You almost died on the spot, your heart not designed for this type of scare. Slowly, you hide under the bed, the huge blanket falling from both side of it protecting you from outsider's sight.

"Call copsfor me send them to m yaddress I beg you." you sent him, with a few mistakes as you're shaking, rushed and not watching the screen as you type. When sending him your address though, you watched cautiously the screen, feared he might send the cops somewhere else. To briefly explain him the situation, you sent him one simple word; intruder.

"Oh shit." he says and you never hated him more than right now. Why was this stupid idiot still typing when he should be calling the police ! Doesn't he understand the problem ? You really can't count on him.

He's stupid, you think. You have the keys now, that's all that matter. All is left to do is for you to bolt down to the car and leave. Steadying your breathing, you slide from under the bed, holding tightly the keys in your closed hand. You stand, walking towards the door; no sounds.

With a shaky hand, you grab the handle and open the door. Not getting out instantly, you're careful to check every corner of the hallway before leaving. You know how it is in horror movie, the protagonist often dies right before they can escape. You are not risking it. Your device is vibrating in your pocket, it's probably him again.

Reaching the main stairs, you put your foot in the air, ready to place it on the first step when your breath get stuck in your throat by the vision in front of you.

The main door is closed.

A cold chill run down your spine, raising up each one of your body hair. Why is it closed ? You specifically put your shoes between the door and the wall, preventing it from closing. And in the worst case, if the wind or the force of the heavy door still close, it would slam and alert you. But it didn't. How it is closed ?

You look around the room, not daring move anymore until you finally understand what happened. You're able to see both of your shoes, delicately placed side by side outside, on the freezing terrace. Someone moved them. Someone fucking took your shoes and deliberately put them outside, right in front of the window for you to see. If that's not provocation you have no idea what that is.

Either way, you are not trying to open it. Something is telling you it's completely locked. The wind is growing up by seconds, snowflakes flying everywhere. Fuck, it wasn't snowing earlier, you need to get out of here before you're completely stuck inside. That was your plan before you heard the back door downstairs shut and the dangling of keys, anyways.

Not waiting anymore, you get back to the safety of your room.

You can't calm yourself, you heard keys ! The intruder has keys and is locking you two together ! Shit, shit shit what do you do ? You have to get out of here, quickly before it's too late. If you end up completely locked up, all would be left to do for the intruder is to simply visit the different room until you're dead.

Think, think, how can you escape ? Your eyes end up on the window which you rush to. Opening it, the freezing air outside penetrate the room, slapping you in the face with it's now pouring snow.

You're something like 10 meters/32 inches up from the ground. It does not sound like a good idea to jump from here but do you really have a choice here ? Maybe you can wait a little until the snow reach a good height, so falling in it won't hurt.

No, the negative temperature and extreme weather would cause you to die of hypothermia. You close the window, still keeping the idea somewhere in the corner of your mind. You won't jump now, but if things get too complicated, you are not hesitating.

Maybe you can keep it a tad open, just in case. So you don't have to struggle to open it. You regret not having tried to open the main door earlier, sure the shoes were put away but maybe it wasn't really locked. You thought so but your fear were really what was driving your mind at the moment, you have to try.

There is this old broken glass clock on the wall, you could use it as a weapon. If the intruder comes at you, you explode the glass on their head. You cheer yourself up, stretching your limbs. You can still run if you can't fight.

You can do this, you can do this.

You still didn't encounter anyone after all, maybe you're fine. Standing up, a new found determination filling you, you head to the door. You try to think of a better plan but options are not running to you. It's not like you have a better choice.

You lay your hand on the handle, ready to fight your fears but you stop in your track when light musical notes start invading the silence of the house. You're confused, frowning your brows, you try to think of any reason for it to happen.

There's music coming from downstairs and that's when you know you're done for. Someone's here and is definitely toying with you. By music, it's not even a scary song with lyrics to help you understand what's going to happen to you, or a creepy music deepening the tense atmosphere, oh no. It's Michael Bublé singing his dumb 'It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas'.

Great, perfect, a festive music for a festive death, right ? Are you going to get killed on rhythm of it, too ? For a moment, you thought about it being a whole joke from one of your cousin, but it would be too elaborated. The best jokes are the shortest, and this one's endless.

Not having anything better to do, you hide once again under the bed and turn on your phone. Ethan sent you a message earlier but you did not look at it. You frown upon seeing it.

"Can I tell you something ? It's a secret tho. I'm a little ashamed of it."

Does he really fucking think it's the perfect moment for him to confide his secret to you ? "Police" you simply send him, wanting to remind him of the goal of this conversation, hoping he'd understand. After all, he did not even confirmed having called anyone.

But he never answers your reminder and instead send you a photo. It's blurry and at first you don't understand what it is until you recognize the house, your aunt's house. The house you're currently in. It's a picture of you from earlier, when you first went outside after discovering the ashes everywhere. You're outside, before the window, checking your phone while hugging yourself to try and protect you from the cold.

"Where are you ? I want to talk to you." he sends right after.

Your blood runs cold, suddenly the painful and awkward position you're in doesn't bother you much anymore. Ethan Landry, took a picture of you here. Ethan Landry is here, right now. What's happening ?

"We need to talk." he insists.

Is that man the one who entered by the chimney ? Is he the intruder ? You're not typing anything and it must stress him as he adds a stupid "Please answer". How did he even know you were here ? Did he follow you ? How ?

"What do you want" you typed, wanting to know why he was here. You were desperate for answer, you never talked to this guy, he never talked to you ! What does he want now ? Is it linked with your friend ? Did she ditch him ? Maybe she did, and he thinks it's your fault.

But against all odd, it's not at all the answer gives you.

"It's about us."

What ? What 'us' ? What is he talking about ? "Us" as in you and him or "us" as in him and the whole group ? Because either way, you have no idea what he wants. And even if you did, you doubt there's a problem big enough that requires him to fucking break into your house.

"I have a gift for you as well." No, it does not sound good at all. You keep spamming your friends, begging them to answer. You're telling them you're hiding under your bed and that they need to call the police right now or you'll end up dead. At one point, you start to write another message to your friend when you receive a notification from Ethan.

"They won't answer." he says. And for a second, you dare think that he may be connected to your phone. But you quickly push that thought aside, only for it to come back as fast when you're typing "Ethan s insde my hhouse" and "Don't do that" is sent to you before you press send.

He's bluffing, you're sure. You send your message anyway, if you die, at least they'll know. However, to confirm your doubts, you write two question marks in the blank space to check if he's able to see them. To your horror, Ethan sends you two question marks as well.

It's just a coincidence. It has to be anyway because that'd mean Ethan knows where you are. Who are you kidding ? He knew from the very start where you were. He's just tormenting you. Testing yet again, you type "what" in the chat space, and of course Landry sends you "What what ?".

That's it, he has access to your phone. Your body is boiling from the inside, nothing makes sense anymore. How did he hack into your phone ? Why and when ? Since when ? You swipe the notification away from the screen and turn your phone off. Laying it beside you, waiting for another person to answer.

He planned everything, controlling your phone, following you, getting you alone and vulnerable.

It's probably time for you to use the window. You have the keys after all. You'll jump. Get to your car or something. Besides, maybe you won't break your ankle. maybe you'll be able to escape, run in the forest and found a shelter somewhere, wait until the weather is good enough to come back and find your family.

Maybe you'll fall, break something and wake up only to realize that it was all a dream, that you're safe and sound. Ethan did nothing, he is still the weirdo from your class, flirting with your friend and you'll spend a beautiful Christmas with your family.

Your body start to move in order to leave your hiding spot, but each one of your muscle stops dead when slow and steady footsteps are heard in the hallway, and seconds later, the door of the room creaks open. And then you remember with horror that Ethan found the keys, and that locking the door won't protect you.

He knows you're here. You try to recall everything you did that could've hurt him, if one day you insulted him, mocked him but nothing. Why, why is he doing this to you ? Tears fill up your eyes, but you have to dry them. If you have to escape, you need to have hundred percent of your vision. Fleeing with blurry eyes will slow you down.

Ethan doesn't budge. You're too scared to change position and see where he is, but he sounds like he is at the end of the end. You probably could've saw his feet if you tried, but you didn't want to.

Your phone stirs, reporting a new notification. You know who that comes from already. Every muscle in you is tensed, refusing to move. But he waits for you to do so. So you turn it on, checking his message.

He sent you another picture, one which absolutely freeze you from head to toe. It's a photo where only a bed is visible, the exact one serving you as hiding spot. What's horrifying however, is that a large knife is displayed on it, along with a printed photo of you two. You recognize this cursed picture, the one your teacher took of you with the model.

He cut out everyone else, only you two are left. It's the only photo you have of him, and it's probably the same for him, the only picture he has of you. You're never beside each other after all.

You don't give a fuck about the photo, he has a knife. You're alone together in a room and he has a knife.

"Are you mad at me ?" he texts but you can't do anything except try to keep your cries quiet. You knew he was weird, but fuck ! Not that weird !

You hear him chuckle, and seconds after the ruffle of his clothes alarms you. What is he doing ? He's moving, but why ? You don't know what he's doing until his hand firmly close around your ankle and pull you out of under the bed, you scream, try to fight back, throw your legs at his face but you can't even see it; he wears a mask.

Not only a mask, in fact, he is completely disguised.

Window is all you can think. You have to jump out of the window. Never slackening your attacks, you finally inflict him pain, his mask twisting on the side in the process. He falls on his back, holding his, likely, jaw.

You are not waiting for him to get over it as you jump on the bed, slide and grab the open window. You pull it wider and leap head first. You did not think this through, only acting out of pure survival. But at the same time, maybe you would've done the same thing, choosing between breaking your legs or arms, in this situation, you'd chose to break your arms.

But Ethan is as determined as you, before your body can completely fall, he grabs both of your tibias with strong hands. Blood is already falling to your head, you feel it heat up despite the freezing atmosphere.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing ?" yell the man holding you.

Hanging upside down, only held by the legs by a crazy man clearly wasn't part of your Christmas plan. You wiggle your body, trying to make him let go or at least slip out of his grip but you never saw someone as mad as Ethan. You lay your hands flat on the outside wall before you, outstretching your arms to grab something allowing you to fall, to pull yourself down but it's no use.

You already feel yourself being lift up. Slowly, Ethan's hand pull you up, leaving your ankles to grab just below your knees. One of your foot hit his face but he never relents. You yell in the wind for the world to hear, you struggle, fight but Ethan's something else. Ethan won't let you go.

The more he pulls you up, the more his hand grabs of you. While your feet are back inside, your hands never let go of the window border, refusing categorically to let him engulf you inside. You don't stop yelling at him to let you go but you quiet down a second when two other person enter your vision, both in the same disguise as Ethan.

They're outside, braving the harsh snow, just below the window. Exactly where you would have fallen if Landry didn't grabbed you. The smaller of them has a sign in hand, and when you read what's on it, you think you should have jumped and killed yourself.

"Merry Christmas, in-law.

Welcome to the family"

[talisidekick]

"Okay, so you're saying your luck is ... neutral?" The patron looked confused, in front of the stranger a line of coins standing on their sides.

"Yeah. Heads or tails?"

"Uh, tails."

The coin is flicked high into the air and falls hard, right on it's edge to the continued amazement of the small gathering around the bar.

"I can't win or lose," it's delivered with a shrug, "basically if I want something, I have to work for it, but if it's up to chance I won't get what I want or lose what was risked. It's just ... neutral."

"Prove it, but not with coins," says one.

The stranger sighs, "Fifty bucks on the next goal being for the home team," the stranger points to the live game.

"Deal."

And just as if it was by some estranged divine intervention, the entire game goes by without another goal getting scored. Even though the home team clearly had the advantage in skill, every attempt, by fluke, missed, or was intercepted.

"Told you."

"That proves nothing."

"Hows this," the stranger, clearly tired, offers dully, "I'll bet my entire lifes savings that I can't give you the winning lottery numbers for the 50 million jackpot."

"Wait, so you'll just give me everything you have if you can't give me the winning numbers?"

"Yep."

"Deal."

"Buy the ticket. The numbers are 12, 11, 59, 9, 22, and ... 71," The stranger sighs, watching the numbers get written down, "enjoy your 50 million."

"Yeah, right," and with that they left. It would be the next day before they came back. 50 million in the bank, with the stranger long gone. The bartender, equally amazed as they handed over the strangers phone number. The line rang once.

"50 million, right?" came the strangers voice.

"How did-"

"It's how it works."

"You have to let me give you half." says the now-millionaire.

A laugh from the phone, "that's not how it works."

"What?"

That same depressed sigh from the night before, "as soon as I say yes, you'll lose it all to tax fraud, or it'll get stolen, or the economy will crash, or ... something."

"This been happening your whole life?" The millionaire asked.

"All 600 years of it."

"What?" the bartender asked, hearing this but not believing it.

"I made a bet, when I was 15 that I'd age well or terribly. I don't age. I made a bet in my 20's I'd die of illness before old age. I don't grow old and I don't get sick." A pause and a breath. "I bet I'd probably die of an accident before natural causes to a friend. I also recently hit a low and bet I'd die by my own hand or someone elses. I made a bet I could forget anything being that I was forgetful, and the person I bet to agreed to just give me a bit of money ... I now don't forget a thing. I bet I was either the dumbest person alive, and I think you know where this is going."

"So ... you're an incredibly average immortal human being who has neutral luck. You know, you played your cards well. If I had luck like that I'd ..." the millionaire began.

"You don't understand, I didn't want to live forever, I didn't want to be forever youthful, I didn't want to be intelligent, any of it. I made a bet and the tie condition has made me this way. I can't win, I can't lose. I can't make a bet over it. I am stuck in a no lose, no win situation permanently." A heavy sigh. "I made stupid bets that 560 years later, I regret. But I can't change that. I didn't know this is how it worked, I found out too late. So do yourself a favour, take the money, live a good life, be a good person, and forget me."

"You're the reason my life is turned around, I think forgetting a woman like you is impossible," the millionaire laughs.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Heads you remember me after this call only on even days, tails only on odd days." A pause. "On the side like usual."

"Wait-" the millionaire yelled, but the call hung up. A look of dread on the millionaires face as he looked over the bartender. "I need to remember who that was, it's ... it's important ... I think?"

And the saddest look in the world was given from the bartender to the millionaire, "I don't think you will, buddy."

Whenever you flip a coin, it lands on its side, Rock-Paper-Scissors always ends in a draw, and when you enter the lottery you always win your money back but not a dime more. You’re not lucky, you’re not unlucky, you’re… something else.

[fictionkinfessions]

For canon regrets, the biggest would be sending.. Literal children to do my job. Not just to do my job, but to save the world. Twice.

I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I asked for help, but then it all got so.. Out of control. Brendan ended up taking care of it, and he's fine, but still. I'm just lucky Wallace was there to help. I don't know what I would've done otherwise.

And then it happened again! And off he goes, quite literally into space. I've no idea.

That being said, a simpler regret I have is not discussing my feelings with Wallace sooner. I love them. And I wish I'd realized that before they went through everything they did with their own identity, and whatnot (She's much happier now, and goes by just about any pronouns!). We've known each other since we were ten and eleven. It took me fourteen years to really figure out what it was I'd felt, and even then, we still didn't get it sorted out, not until after everything with Aqua was figured out.

On a sillier note, I've so many happy memories, from said after. Archie and Maxie are settled down, and actually make for good friends. And now, I've managed to collect some stones! If nothing else, being a fictive/fictionkin thing has taught me to be a bit better with money. The "nepo baby" runs strong in me. That being said, I did buy a pretty Tourmaline gem recently. It's one of my favorite stones. I need to get it set, and I really wish I had the means to do it myself. I don't exactly trust my own mind to recall the specifics of making jewelry, either, so that's unfortunate. The stone I bought is awful small, so it makes the most sense to have it set in a ring, but I fear that would look too much like an engagement ring. Unfortunately, I don't think that displaying my own marital status would bode well with the host, as we as a whole are quite single (Ha, get it?). But! I think it'll make a decent necklace. It would be nice to find other stones to match it, but that's always tricky, and I'm afraid I don't have the funds for it.

I know she won't see it, but I'd like to put out a hello to my mother, at the end of this. She's not a canon character, but I remember her quite well, and I'm sure she'd appreciate the mention. I'm doing just fine, Mom.

Yours, Steven Stone.

(I apologize for signing this like a letter- My mind is telling me to end it like a company email, but you're not Devon, and I don't technically work for them anymore, so! That felt a bit silly. This was the next best option!)

x

[aki-mochi]

Levi x Reader: New Life

WARNING: contains language and mentions of prostitution.

This takes place in the Underground.

Being a teenager wasn't easy, especially if they lived in the Underground City where you had to fight to survive. Literally. Levi huffed as he wiped the blood off his cheek from beating another man to tried to talk shit about his late mom. As he turned down into an alleyway, a few men were seen hovering around something as they talked as he got closer, he could hear their conversation and decided to hide behind a barrel to eavesdrop.

"Think we should sell this little girl in the black market to pay for our next meal?"

"Nah, we should teach her a lesson for stealing from us" he partner said as his knuckles were cracked in the process, ready to beat the shit out of the girl they had cornered.

"You pigs didn't need all that food since you're already fat enough!" the girl yelled as she tried to stay brave.

"You little bitch!" the man yelled as he raised his fist as it made contact to her cheek.

The girl fell to the ground due to the force as she held her cheek in pain. Tears welled up in her eyes but refused to let them fall. She shakily got back up to her feet and glared at the men in front of her. "Y-You punch like an old lady! That didn't hurt at all! You're weak!"

"This kid just doesn't know when to stay down. Very well, you'll get what you asked for" the man growled as he went to punch the girl again.

She just stood there, waiting for the impact but it never came as a knife had been thrown into the man's head, killing him on the spot. His body collapsed onto the ground while his partner's throat was slit open by another blade. She watched in horror as blood splattered all over her clothes and face. Backing up to the worn down wall, her legs gave out as she slid to the ground, terrified of the bloodbath she had just witnessed. The person's shadow came closer to her shaking form before it appeared under the streetlight.

"You ok, kid?" Levi asked.

All she could respond with was a nod.

"So, you stole their food?"

"Th-they had a mountain of food on their plates....and I haven't eaten in days...." she whimpered as she held her hollow stomach.

At that, Levi finally got a good look at her form. She looked no older than ten. Her frame was all boney and sick looking, her ribs were probably showing under that oversized tattered shirt, hair all matted, dirty and probably overgrown. He looked just like he did before Kenny had found him after his mother died. He couldn't let her suffer the way he almost did, and based on her appearance, she doesn't have any parents either. With a small sigh, Levi knelt to her level on the ground and offered a hand.

"Come with me. I'll help you get your strength back but you gotta help clean and help me hunt when you do, ok?"

She stared at his hand before shakily reaching her own boney hand out to take it. Once she did, Levi helped her onto his back and started to carry her back to his place.

"You have a name?" he asked.

"(Y-Y/n)....it's just (Y/n)..." she whispered tiredly.

"(Y/n), huh? I'm Levi. Go ahead and sleep, it'll take a bit to get home."

'A home...? Sounds nice....' (Y/n) thought before she drifted to sleep.

Levi glanced back at her sleeping form before sneaking into alleys and back roads to keep out of sight, wondering what his life will be like now that he has a partner to survive with,

~Several Years Later~

Years have passed and Levi and (Y/n) have done well surviving the hell hole they live in. The constant struggles of earning money, stealing food when they couldn't afford any, kicking other thug's asses. It's hard, yes, but they have each other's backs and company when all felt wrong. Levi comes in the house and finds (Y/n) asleep on the loveseat with her legs hanging over the armrest. Lately, he's noticed how tired and sore she'll be during the day and how she would go earn money at night. One day, she went to bend over to pick up a cup that she accidently dropped but had hissed in pain while placing a hand at her lower back. Going to help and ask what was wrong, she waved at him saying she had lifted too many crates for an old man. Levi knew she saw lying since her lips always moved when she does but didn't say anything else.

Walking over to her, he shook her shoulder. "Oi. (Y/n). Wake up, lazy brat."

(E/c) eyes fluttered open as a yawn escaped her mouth. She stretched her stiff limbs before sitting up and rubbing her neck "Do you have to call me lazy everytime I take a nap?" she mumbled.

"Yes, I do. Now get up. I brought food and it's your night to cook."

"Damn it....alright alright. Just give me the bag already." she sighed as she took the bag from his hands and went to the kitchen to see what all he had brought. As She was sorting through the ingredients, Levi stood and watched in the doorway with his arms crossed before hearing her speak up while her back was turned to him.

"So....Kal s-said there's an open spot at-" she was cut off by a fist punching the wall.

"I don't want to hear it, (Y/n)! You promised that you wouldn't sell your body to disgusting men and be a prostitute!"

she turned to him "But Levi-"

"No buts! You're not doing it! I forbid you!" he seethed with a dark glare.

An audible gulp was heard and nothing else was said as she continued to figure out what she could make in silence. Sudden footsteps made their way over to the young woman before stopping right behind her as arms made their way around her waist.

"L-Levi...?"

"I know you want to help but I can't let you do it. You know about my mom and how she died. I don't want it to happen to you too." He said softly with his chin on her shoulder.

(Y/n) sighed but rested her hands on his arms, rubbing her thumb on his skin. "Alright....I won't do it."

"Good. Now, finish dinner while I get cleaned up." With that, his gave her cheek a soft kiss before letting go of her waist and leaving to clean up the non-existent dirt off of him. (Y/n)'s cheeks went ablaze as she held a hand to the cheek he had kissed. She felt happy but she knew that he will find out about her secret job soon and it would tear him apart.

~A few weeks later~

(Y/n) knew that once Levi had cleaned and put away his knife he goes straight to bed. As she watched and made sure he wasn't going to come out anytime soon, she grabbed her bag and quietly sneaked out of their house, making sure to lock it so he wouldn't get on her ass about 'forgetting to lock the door before bed'. Looking around for any stalkers, she quietly made her way down a street, unknowing of a person hiding in the shadows watching her every move.

After turning a few corners here and there, she finally arrived at her destination. She looked up at the sign and cringed in utter disgust, loathe, and regret.

Kal's Prostitute Service.

With a deep breath, (Y/n) reached for the doorknob only for it to be roughly snatched away by a hand. With a gasp, she was forcefully turned around and now staring into the fuming eyes of a very pissed Levi.

"L-Levi, I can explain-"

"You're damn fucking right you'll explain. You're coming home. Right. Now."

At that, he forcefully dragged her by the arm, ignoring her whimpers and protests of how he was hurting her wrist. He was fuming. Raging with anger. He didn't know where to start. She promised him she wouldn't do it. Why the hell would she break her promise?

When he got there, he slammed open the front door and tossed her inside. She landed on the hard floor with a gasp before turning to look up at him. She's seen him angry before, but fucking hell, he was terrifying right now. With a gulp, she sat up a bit with a small tremble of fear.

"L-Levi please let me explain..."

"Explain what?! You went behind my back and did things you promised you wouldn't do! What fucking reason do you have for going back on your word?!"

"I had to! I couldn't stay at home while you did all the work anymore! I wanted to help!"

"You knew how I felt about you doing this shit! Why did you do it?!"

"B-Because..."

"Because what?!"

"Because I did it so we could get our citizenships to live up on the surface instead of this shithole!"

Levi stopped in his tracks and just stared at her. That was her reason? To help get the both of you to the city above them? Tears watered her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she continued.

"I-I had to....I hate seeing you struggle and come home tired and dirty....I couldn't stand it anymore....s-so I took the job of being a-a prostitute.....only until we got the money to get out of this place and have a little extra to get the things we'll need....I couldn't stand being useless anymore, Levi. I-I'm so sorry...!"

She curled up on her spot on the floor and sobbed into her knees with her hands in her hair as Levi watched her, hearing her apologize over and over again through her hiccups. His anger burned out like a fire without air and carefully went over to her shaking form. When he kneeled down to her height, his arms encircled her form, making her tense as her sobs suddenly paused.

"How much...?" he asked softly.

"H-huh...?"

"How much do you have saved up?"

"M-More than enough to get us past the gate a-and to get our citizenship....I've asked around...and someone told me the prices......I saved twice as much than what we needed..." she explained.

He held her closer. "I'm sorry for getting so mad. I was just worried that I would lose you just like mom. I'm still not happy that you went behind my back....but I'm happy that you and I will get to live a better life up there."

(Y/n) blinked before she smiled through her tears and hugged him back. They both stayed like that for a small while before Levi pulled back with his signature glare. "Now, I'm all dirty."

That made (Y/n) laugh.

~Timeskip~

A few weeks had passed and Levi and (Y/n) had finally settled in their new home on the surface after buying some new furniture for it. And, of course, brooms. Levi couldn't forget the brooms. While Levi spent the days cleaning and organizing their new place, (Y/n) ran a small stand in the market. She had a big surprise for Levi. As the sun was starting to set, all the other stands were closing down, meaning (Y/n) could go home and have the day off tomorrow since her boss knew of her surprise. As she quickly packed up her stuff, she ran down the familiar street she takes everyday and soon made it home. With a smile, she went inside and placed her bag in its normal spot that Levi made just for her.

"I'm home~!"

Levi peeked his head from the kitchen and hummed before walking over to her. "You seem happy. What's the occasion?"

"You'll see tomorrow. Boss gave me the day off because of it."

"Oh? Then it must be a big surprise if you get an entire day off for it."

"Mhm! You'll love it~" she smiled.

"I enjoy everything that you give me, (Y/n)" he said as he ruffled her hair, making her whine in protest. Levi only chuckled and went back to the kitchen to finish the food he was preparing.

The next day, everything went smoothly until she had suddenly finished all her cleaning early before noon and had told Levi to get ready for his surprise. With a grunt, he got up from his spot on the couch and slipped on his boots as he waited for the woman to grab whatever she needed. Once she was back, the two headed out and began to walk. When they turned down a specific street, (Y/n) went behind him and covered his eyes, making him mumble a few curse words.

"Calm down, I'll make sure you won't fall. Just trust me." she smiled.

"Alright, fine. Hurry up, though. I don't like not seeing where I'm going." he huffed.

(Y/n) only giggled and carefully led him to a specific building before uncovering his eyes. In front of him was a small tea shop. And it wasn't no ordinary tea shop either. Inside was clearly cleaned to where it shined and several different types of tea was displayed neatly behind the counter with a good few table sets were evenly spread out enough where people can walk. He noticed that no one was here so he turned to her.

"You brought me to a tea shop with no one here?"

"Nooooooo. I brought you to your tea shop! You said you've always wanted to open one so, Ta-da~!" she grinned.

Levi was flabbergasted. The tea shop is his? He looked at her before suddenly pulling her in for a sweet kiss. (Y/n) tensed and turned a dark shade of red before slowly returning the gesture as her arms found themselves around his neck with his around her waist. The kiss lasted for a minute before Levi pulled back.

"I love it. And I love you. Thank you for everything." he smiled.

"You're welcome. And I love you too, Levi."

"I'm glad. Now, let's go see what kind of tea we have."

(Y/n) laughed at this but followed him inside as their new lives have only just begun.

[mystiq-u]

Perfect Date ~ Akaashi Keiji

Word count: 1760

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Akaashi x Fem! Reader

POV: 3rd person

Akaashi and (y/n) had been going out for quite a while but they rarely had any time to themselves. (Y/n) was the manager of the boys' volleyball team of Nekoma during Fall and winter. During the summers, she was a part of the swimming club. Nekoma didn't have an indoor pool or enough funds to pay for swim practice in winters so the members were pretty much helpless in winters.

The two had met during a practice match between Fukurodani and Nekoma. (Y/n) had taken an instant liking to Akaashi because of his setting skills. It could be seen that he was the most responsible person on his team.

(Y/n) didn't have a type. But if she did have one, it'd be someone like Akaashi. Akaashi could see how (y/n) was a great manager, a great friend, and very responsible as well. He had seen her bandage Lev's elbow when he had accidentally tripped and grazed it. He didn't have a type either. But if he did, it'd be someone like (y/n).

Long story short, they took an instant liking towards each other and started going out soon. They had only been on one date before. And that too was rudely interrupted by Akaashi's classmate who happened to be where they were.

It was their second date and they had decided to meet at a funfair. It was a little far away from their schools and homes, but it was a great place. There were games, food stalls, roller coasters, Ferris wheels, and a movie theatre where a classic movie was aired and anyone with a ticket to the funfair could watch.

They had planned to see whatever movie was being aired. They met right outside the entrance at 5 PM. "Hi, you look great." Akaashi complimented (y/n) as soon as he saw her, wrapping his arms around her. "You look amazing too." (Y/n) said as she hugged him back.

"I can't believe we finally have some time to ourselves." He whispered to her. "I can't believe it either. The only other person who knows this except us is Lev who overhead us on the phone. But don't worry, he won't come here." (Y/n) told him and they both paid for their tickets and went inside.

They played a few games, Akaashi won (y/n) a stuffed panda. And (y/n) won a bar of chocolate which she gave Akaashi. They were both heading to the movie which started at 6 PM, eating popcorn when (y/n) chuckled. "What?" Akaashi asked her softly.

"It's nothing... Everything is just so perfect. We have chocolate, popcorn, we're gonna watch a movie. You're here with me, I wish this could happen more often." (Y/n) said. "I do too. But let's enjoy what we're doing now, 'kay?" He said to her gently.

"Okay!" (Y/n) nodded in agreement. They were heading to buy more candy when their worst fear came true. "Hey, hey, heyyy!" A voice that haunted their dreams called out from behind them. "Don't look back Keiji, walk. Walk fast!" (Y/n) whispered to him in panic. He just took her hand and started walking, pretend to not have heard Bokuto.

But as they started walking, they bumped into a guy taller than both of them. "Well look. Who do we have here?" He said grinning. "Hey Bokuto, I found them!" He yelled at him behind them. "Hey Akaashi, (y/n)! I was calling you. Didn't ya hear me?" He asked them. "N-no. We would have stopped if we had." (Y/n) lied and Akaashi nodded in agreement with her.

"Anyways. We heard you two were coming here, so we thought why not give you company." Kuroo said. "Kuroo-san. Bokuto-san, we are on a date." Akaashi told them, hoping they'd get the hint and leave. "We know," Bokuto admitted. "How?" (Y/n) asked them.

"That doesn't matter. Think of us as your... Chaperones. I mean, we gotta make sure you young children don't cause anybody any trouble or do anything you might regret, you know." Kuroo said with a wink. "We're not idiots Kuroo-san." (Y/n) deadpanned. "And we're only one year younger than you," Akaashi added.

"Eh. But you should know that Bokuto and I'll be following you around, but it'll be like we're not even there." Kuroo said. "Totally invisible," Bokuto said while nodding. "But it's a romantic drama." (Y/n) told them. "Well, then I guess we'll just make fun of the movie," Kuroo said. Akaashi and (y/n) just sighed and walked towards the movie hall with Bokuto and Kuroo in tow.

5 minutes later they were seated and people were still coming in. Akaashi was on (y/n)'s right. They talked to each other quietly discussing the possibility of their plans going awry. "Maybe Lev told Kuroo-san," Akaashi said. "Nah. I bet Lev told that Hinata guy from Karasuno and Hinata texted the information to Kenma. Kenma must've left his phone somewhere to play games. Kuroo-san must've seen his text to Kenma and came here." (Y/n) said.

That's exactly what happened.

Kuroo and Bokuto could not be seen. (y/n) almost let out a sigh of relief when someone sat on her left side. "Seriously?" She half screamed at Kuroo. "What? We have to sit somewhere!" Kuroo answered back.

"Go away." She told him. "Fine!" Kuroo said and asked Bokuto to move. They left a gap of one seat between (y/n) and them and sat down again. (Y/n)'s blood was boiling with rage. "It's better than them being right by you," Akaashi whispered to her. "Tsk." (Y/n) clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"Hey (y/n), Kuroo says you're on the swim team," Bokuto basically yelled at her. (Y/n) nodded. "Really? You don't look like a swimmer." Bokuto said, bluntly. "You don't look like a human and yet here we are-" (y/n) spat out. "Okay. Calm down (y/n). Calm down. And Bokuto-san. Please don't talk to us when we're on a date." Akaashi said.

The movie started and at first Kuroo and Bokuto were laughing at everything. It started to tone down little by little and till the intermission, they had stopped. As soon as it was intermission, (y/n) and Akaashi turned to look at why they went quiet.

They were both sobbing. "Everyone has a girlfriend except us bro." He cried to Bokuto. "Y-yeah, even that guy from the movie. A-and he's got a disease. He's gonna d-die!" Bokuto cried back. "Even that jerk Daisho has a girlfriend. Heck, even Akaashi has (y/n)." He said while crying.

"We're right here!" Akaashi told them. It went unheard and they kept crying like dorks. "Please don't cry. I'm sure you'll find someone." (Y/n) said in an attempt to comfort them. "You think so (y/n)?" They both turned to look at her. "S-sure!" (Y/n) said trying to sound supportive.

"We'll get you two more popcorn and sodas. Come on (y/n)." Akaashi said and dragged her away. "Wait. Why do I need to come?" She asked him. "I... Needed some air I guess." Akaashi mumbled.

"What's wrong Keiji?" (Y/n) asked him softly. "It's just that I'm always with those guys. I don't get time to be with you at all and I was looking forward to today." He said as he turned to look at her. "You hate me now don't you? For putting my own needs before my friends'?" He asked her.

"No. I don't hate you. And I never will. You're an amazing friend Keiji. Everybody needs a little space sometimes. You're with them all day. And to be honest, I wouldn't mind getting some time alone with you." (Y/n) told Akaashi, cupping one side of his face with her hand.

"But what should we do? They're a mess. We can't leave them alone." Akaashi said, sighing. "Hmmm. I happen to know someone who lives nearby. He'll come and take care of them." (Y/n) said. "Are you sure? Can he make it?" Akaashi asked.

"Let's just say he owes me. Oh, he's gonna annoy them to death." (Y/n) said and smirked.

"Sometimes you scare me," Akaashi told her. "Good." She replied.

"But we can't just ditch them. They'll get worried." Akaashi said. "I'll just text Kuroo-san." (Y/n) said and started to type.

(Y/n): Sup Bokuto-san and kuroo-san. So, as Keiji and I have been telling u all evening, we were on a date until u showed up. We're going somewhere else. Don't follow us. Someone's on their way to u rn. They'll take care of u. Also, they will annoy u to death. Think of it as my sweet gesture towards u.

P.S. this was my idea so if I find out u said anything to Keiji, that'll be ur last day on earth.

Bye!

"Okay I texted them and Lev is on his way." (Y/n) told him. Suddenly her phone rang. "Lev. Are you here yet?" (Y/n) asked him. "Yes! Where is Captain?" He asked. "He's in the movie hall with Bokuto-san. Go to them. And make sure they don't bother people." (Y/n) said. "Aye, ma'am!" Lev replied.

"Now that they've been dealt with, where should we go?" She asked Akaashi. "I have an idea. Follow me. Run." He said, took her hand, and started running away from the funfair.

(Cue there's nothing holding me back)

Soon they came up to a stop, at a cliff from where the sea could be seen. They took a seat on a bench facing the sea. "The moon is beautiful today, isn't it?" Akaashi asked (y/n). She nodded. She turned her head to look at him. For the first time, she noticed how breathtakingly beautiful he was.

"Let's listen to some music," Akaashi suggested. He took out his phone and earplugs. Put one in (y/n)'s ear and one in his own. Played a beautiful song and smiled at (y/n). She put her head on his shoulder and continued listening to music. The atmosphere around them beautiful.

An hour passed by. (Y/n) got a phone call. "(Y/n)-san! Please help me. They're making me watch the second showing of the movie with them-" Lev screeched in panic. In the background, Kuroo's voice could be heard. "There, get him!" And then there was more screaming.

"We should really go back now shouldn't we?" Akaashi asked her with a chuckle.

"Eh. Not yet. Maybe in a few minutes."

(A/n): is it wrong of me to like some of my stories more than others?

Thank you for reading. Hope you liked the story. Please let me know if something needs to be changed or is incorrect.

See you soon! Take care

[sastielsfandom]

Jack's feet hit the pavement, aching with each step, his lungs begging him to stop as he pushed on, he was falling behind, he could barely spot Dean up ahead. Watching as he directed them to turn left, where Castiel, Sam, and Dean fell out of sight. With inching desperation he picked up the pace and turned left expecting to find an opening, instead running straight into Sam who caught him.

"Fuck!" Dean shouted, hitting the wall, a dead end. They couldn't go back without risk of getting caught. All of it was for nothing.

Dean sat down in defeat, covering his head with his hands, trying to think of something, anything, Sam looked down at Jack, who was trying to subtly catch his breath, and over at Castiel who was staring down the wall as if it'd collapse if he glared hard enough. Shaking his head, "My plan would work," he told Dean who looked up annoyed.

"Now is not the time, Sam." He said, throwing his head back retracing their steps, maybe there was a hidden way out. There has to be something.

Sam scoffed, "I'm being dead serious, Dean. You know it'll work."

Dean groaned, "Of course it would work, you'd be giving them right what they want, no."

"De-"

"No!" Dean shouted, "Sam, your plan is to sacrifice yourself."

Sam crossed his arms looking down, with a sad smile, "Yeah, I know... my plan, it's a great plan because it works."

Behind Sam, Castiel walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You told me we weren't sacrificing each other, if I can't sacrifice myself, you can't either, we'll figure something out."

"Everyone shut up, please, just let me think!" Dean sighed, into his hands, "Look, you two are off the table, we won't make it without you two, so if it comes down to it, I'll step in."

"Uh-huh, how is that any different than what I suggested?" Sam asked, as Dean stood up.

He shrugeed walking past Sam, "You won't be dead, I will."

"None of you will buy us enough time," Jack interrupted, "No offense, but we barely made it out and if I was first out that door instead of last, we wouldn't be having this conversation. The solution is simple, I sacrifice myself. No need for unnecessary deaths."

Sam shook his head and Castiel sighed deeply, "That's not an option-"

"Why not? The kid is onto something-"

"Is he? Because you would be the first to agree to him dying-"

"He'd give us enough time-"

"I'm not going anywhere and leaving him as bait-"

"Fucking listen to me-"

"No! He's not-"

"It's his decision!"

"But I'm his Dad!"

"You're not!" Dean fell off balance, landing on his ass after Sam's hand collided with his jaw.

"He's not doing it," Sam said plainly, offering a hand to Dean, but he swatted it away standing up, "When we're all dead, you'll regret it."

Castiel moved closer to the dead end, tapping his knuckle against it, it was old. He walked around tapping different spots, and stop, waving Jack over. "It's more brittle right here, help me with it."

Jack nodded, and backed up allowing Castiel to wind his fist and punch the wall, dust fell all over him, but it moved, Jack came in behind him and punched the same spot, shaking it more, the two punched it harder and harder, more force and anger behind each hit. Before Castiel could hit it again, Jack was pulling him back as the wall tumbled down, Jack coughed on all the falling debris. The Winchesters turned around covering their mouths and nose, coughing on the bits that still made it through, "Come on, there's an exit not too far out from here." Jack said, leading the way with a run.

Sam shot Dean a dirty look, "I hope at least one of us is regretful right now, but knowing you, there's not." He didn't wait for an answer, following Castiel and Jack, Dean took a deep breath in, before following behind. No use in staying there to die for no reason.

As soon as Dean turned the corner with the rest of them, the wall closed in on itself as if it had never been touched. Just in time for their hunter to lose their trail, closing in on nothing but a dead end, they hit the wall. Running off in a different direction, fuck this maze. Those Winchesters were going down.

Sam: My plan is a great plan.

Dean: Your plan is to sacrifice yourself.

Sam: Yes, a great plan.

Cas: No, if I can't sacrifice myself, you can't.

Dean: I think I should be the one to sacrifice myself.

Jack: You all make good points but consider this, I sacrifice myself.

Dean: Okay.

Sam and Cas: No!

[amyscascadingtabs]

don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you [chapter 2]

CHAPTER TWO: see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night

excerpt below, read whole thing on ao3

Amy doesn't return to the office until after she's spent a good hour at home. First, she showers, washing off yesterday's old makeup and grime and letting the warm water run over her shoulders as she lets the sweet scent of raspberry shower gel replace the vague smell of old beer and sweat. Her back is sore; probably thanks to Jake's lumpy mattress, she thinks, and wonders for a second if she should add buy new mattress to the contract before deciding it’s far too much. That's relationship stuff, and that's point one of the contract; that's not what this is.

She blow-dries her hair and replaces her makeup, taking extra care to try and cover a pink mark that sits just a little too high on her chest before giving up and picking a different shirt instead. Then she fills the biggest coffee cup she has, eats a buttered slice of toast standing up, and feeds her pet fish before rushing back out the door.

She probably looks fresher than most days once she's done, but she's still worried Gina can sense something from her secretary desk as Amy walks in. She raises a brow in greeting like she's actually interested, which is rare in itself, and Amy can feel her eyes on her as she walks into her own office and closes the door behind her.

Amy starts regretting her decision as soon as she's opened a new document. What is she even supposed to name it? Friends with benefits contract is too obvious. FWB-C sounds like code for something. Sex agreement makes her sound like someone who’s read Fifty Shades Of Grey too many times (which really is just once). Jake and Amy is a wedding invitation, Rules too general. She puts her head in her hands, staring at the blinking line, and groans. Then she writes in Jake, looks at that for a moment, and adds stuff after. Not her proudest, but it'll have to do.

Amy’s relieved she doesn't have much work to do today, because she spends every free minute she can come across tweaking details on the document, adding and removing sections to suggest. When she's finally happy with the result, she saves it in a personal folder she can be sure no one’s ever going to open, and praises the office-gods for the fact that she has her own printer.

~

There’s a faint smell of artificial lemon in the air of Jake’s apartment as he welcomes her in, and the thought that he might have cleaned for her makes Amy blush. It seems unlike him, but the living room area does appear less cluttered to her than it did this morning, so maybe he isn’t totally incapable of it. She still doesn’t want to check his cabinets.

“You cleaned,” she says instead, nodding to the couch that looks almost neat now. “You expecting to get lucky tonight, or something?” Jake’s cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink, but then he shakes his head and points to her outfit. “You’re one to speak.”

All Amy’s done is put on a maroon floral blouse with lower cleavage than she’d ever do for work and put on a touch of pink lipstick, but he’s not completely wrong. She still chooses to ignore him. “I’ve got the contract. Should we do this, then?”

He offers her an orange soda, which she declines, but accepts a mug of Earl Grey tea from a package that seems to have remained unopened since before the brand last changed its design. A hot drink might calm her nerves, she hopes, but it ends up being quite the distracting experience to watch him make it for her. She tries to read through the contract one last time while searching for spelling errors she knows aren't there, her eyes keep being drawn to his hands as he holds the label of the teabag between his thumb and index finger, bobbing the bag a few times with focus once he's finished pouring the water into a New York Knicks mug. It's hard not to think about how those fingers felt dancing across her skin yesterday, massaging the sides of her breasts and holding on to her inner thighs, and it's harder not to imagine what they'd feel like another time –

“Tea,” he interrupts her thoughts by placing the mug in front of her. “Thought maybe you wanted a cup that didn’t say NYPD on it.”

“Well, you're right in that.” She brings it to her lips, almost burning her tongue and hoping he didn't see. “You want to read it on your own, or should I read it to you?”

Jake sits back in the massage chair closest to her, spreading his legs and putting his palms on them before shooting her that disarming smile again. “You read it.”

Amy swallows hard. “Okay. Section one: relationship status. This arrangement only works if we're both single. We’re not bringing more people into this.”

“What about an open relationship?”

“No. Still complicated. This is complicated enough with just us. If either of us gets in an actual relationship, it's over.”

Jake nods. “Cool. Next rule?”

“Section two: appropriate behavior. We're not dating,” she says, pointing first at herself and then at him with the ballpoint pen she brought from work. “So we can't behave like we're dating. Outside of our apartments, we're strictly friends. Or acquaintances. Honestly, it's weird we're even friends.”

“But you admitted we're friends.”

“Sure.” She takes another sip of the tea. “But that means no public flirting, no inappropriate comments, no like, commenting heart or fire emojis on Instagram pictures –”

“Are these rules for you or for me?” Jake winks. “I know my selfies are stunning, but I’m sure you can control yourself.”

“For both of us. Section three: we part in the morning. No exceptions. Staying overnight is okay, but once we wake up, we’re done.”

“What counts as morning in this scenario? I’m not going to have to get up at six a.m., am I?”

“Not unless you stay at my place when I have work.”

“I’ll remember not to do that, then.”

“Great. Section four – protection.”

“You have an entire section on that?” Jake looks like he’s trying not to laugh.

“It’s important!” She exclaims, feeling herself getting defensive. “I have an implant, so we’re safe from pregnancy, but it’s either condoms or you need to get checked.”

Jake nearly spits out some of his orange soda, coughing slightly. “You must be fun at parties.”

“I’m actually a nationally accredited and registered chaperone.”

“What is that?”

“Doesn’t matter. Are you going to do it or not?”

“Fine. You, then?”

“I will if you want me to.” Amy shrugs. “But I haven’t slept with anyone since my ex, so we should be good.”

Jake’s eyebrows fly up. “Really?”

“That so surprising to you?”

“A little? In the least jerk-ish way possible, you must get, well… offers.”

“People don’t flirt a whole lot with their lawyers,” she says, shifting in her chair and crossing her legs. “And it hasn’t been my focus. Are we good with the contract?”

“Actually, I want to add one more rule.”

“Yeah?”

Jake leans back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head and flexing his biceps through the green shirt with a smug grin. “You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.”

Amy looks at him for a moment, trying to determine whether or not he’s joking, but he doesn’t waver, so she leans forward and draws a fifth section sign on the blank space left on the document. No developing feelings or this ends, she prints out in capital letters, signing her name on the allotted line.

“Won’t be a problem.”

Jake signs the contract, and Amy tries not to grimace at how messy his signature is as she places the document in a thin plastic folder, promising him a copy tomorrow.

“Cool,” Jake nods. He’s messing up his curls with his right hand again, the way she’s noticed he does when he’s trying to flirt. She wonders if it’s strategy or nerves. “So, are you doing anything else tonight, or...”

“What, contract signing’s got you all hot and bothered?”

“I mean, seeing you in full lawyer mode. It’s not, not hot.”

“Double negation?” Amy scrunches her nose. “Oh, you’re going to have to make that one up to me.”

“Maybe I will,” he says, and she needs only to notice the way his eyes darken to know that it’s on.

Amy can feel her legs still shaking a little as she hails a cab outside Jake's apartment just after, and she closes her eyes in the backseat and wonders how it's possible to feel this amazing, this satisfied from a cocktail of what she knows is mostly dopamine and oxytocin. It still makes her feel all giggly, like she can't stop smiling to herself.

Her phone vibrates in her pocket, and she picks it up to read a text from Jake.

Fucking hell that was SO GOOD.

Maybe this friends with benefits thing won't be so bad after all.

~

[hd-learns-korean]

Musical Mondays Week 4!

Hey All! Happy Monday to everyone! I hope you had a fantastic weekend and are on track to have a beautiful week ahead!

Today I'm back with another study post. I can't believe this is the 4th week of Musical Mondays, the time has just flown by!

Today's song is a beaut! You're in for a musical treat!

Song: Blue

Artist: Taeyong 태용 of NCT, NCT 127

Song Submission by: tell-tale-taeil

My thoughts on the song: Oooooh this song is so good! It's not an upbeat kpop song or an emotional ballad either. The song sounds quite raw and striped back. His voice is on another level and the whole atmosphere is quite dark. If you're looking for a change from the usual K-pop/ K-ballads give this one a go. It won't disappoint!

Notes: As I am not 100% fluent in Korean yet, there possibly could be some mistakes. If you spot any or a better way to translate a sentence, please lemme know so I can correct it!

Translation Notes: I have used a combination of my own practice sentences, sentences translated by Papago, and examples taken from Naver dictionary. Where sentences are not my own I have labelled where they are sourced from.

Right then. Enough Waffle. Let's get this study session started! 📚🎉

VOCABULARY:

움푹하다 Hollow/ sunken

움푹pitted/ sunken/ dented/ hollow

움푹 들어간 볼 hollow cheeks

움푹한 눈 deep-set eyes

나 새 차의 옆면이 움푹 들어가 있었어. The side of my new car was heavily dented.

불쑥 unexpectedly/ suddenly/ abruptly/ out of the blue

오늘 아침 임원들은 업무 회의에 불쑥 나타났어요. Executives popped up at the business meeting this morning. // This morning executives appeared out of the blue at the business meeting.

팀 회의에서 미나는 기분이 자주 불쑥 말해요. During team meetings, Mina often talks about how she feels. (During team meetings, Mina often speaks bluntly about her feelings. During team meetings, out of the blue, Mina will often discuss her feelings.)

저리다numb/ ache/ asleep (As in numb)

Present tense: 저려요

Past Tense: 저렸어요

Future Tense: 저릴 거예요

오른쪽 다리이 저린다 my right leg is numb

온 뼈마디가 저리다 feel pain in all one’s joints (Naver)

골저리다 be chilled/ frozen to the bone (Naver)

떨치다 shake off/ put aside/ cast off/ banish

Present tense: 떨쳐요

Past Tense: 떨쳤어요

Future Tense: 떨칠 거예요

두려움을 떨치다 shake off the fear (Naver)

그 남자를 난 의심을 못 떨쳐. I can't get rid of my doubts about him.

잠을 떨치다 shake off sleep (Naver)

외로움 loneliness

COVID-19 때문에 많은 사람들이 외로움을 느낀다. Many people feel lonely because of COVID-19. (Papago translation)

술로 외로움을 달래다 drink to numb feelings of loneliness (Naver)

마틴 씨는 매일밤에서 술로 외로움을 달래요. Martin drinks alcohol every night to relieve loneliness.

마틴 씨는 매일밤에서 술로 외로움을 달랜 것 같아요. Martin seems to have relieved his loneliness with alcohol every night.

쏟다 pour/ spill/ concentrate on/ devote oneself to/ vent

Present Tense: 쏟아요

Past Tense: 쏟았어요

Future Tense: 쏟을 거예요

누가 소파에 레드 와인를 쏟았어? Who spilled red wine on the sofa (Couch)?

넌 내 새 셔츠에 잉크를 고의로 쏟았어? Did you intentionally spill ink on my new shirt?

저는 정말 죄송합니다! 다 실수로 커피를 쏟았습니다! I'm really sorry! I spilled coffee by mistake!

정신을 쏟다 devote oneself to/ do sth with heart and soul (Naver)

미나는 역사 공부하는 정신을 쏟아요. Mina devotes herself to studying history.

땀을 쏟다 sweat buckets (Naver)

그 사람은 운동 후에 땀을 쏟아요. That person sweats buckets after exercising.

저는 힘을 쏟을 거예요! I'm going to put all my energy into it!

저는 혼신의 힘을 쏟았어요. I put every ounce of my energy into it.

탓 reason/ fault/ blame

부장은 항상 남의 탓을 한다 The manager always blames others.

잘못되다 go wrong/ fail/ go pear shaped/ turn sour

Present Tense: 잘못돼요

Past Tense: 잘못됐어요

Future Tense: 잘못될 거예요

뭐가 잘못된 건가요? Is there something wrong? (Naver)

근본적으로 잘못되다 fundamentally wrong (Naver)

지겹다 bored/ dull/ tedious/ tiresome

Present Tense: 지겨워요

Past Tense: 지겨웠어요

Future Tense: 지겨울 거예요

김 교수님의 강의은 너무 지겨워죠? Professor Kim's lecture is boring, right? Are you tired of Professor Kim's lectures? Professor Kim’s lectures drag, right?

지겨운 오후있네! It’s a boring afternoon!

난 널 기다리는 지겨워! I'm tired of waiting for you!

김유나의 불평을 듣는 것이 지겨워요. I'm tired of hearing Kim Yu-na's complaints. (My example with help from Papago translation)

나른하다 drowsy/ sluggish/ listless/ tired

오늘 오후는 저 좀 기분이 나른해요. I feel a little drowsy this afternoon.

배우다 learn/ study/ form/ emulate

Present Tense: 배워요

Past Tense: 배웠어요

Future Tense: 배울 거예요

미나는 운전을 배우고 있어요. Mina is learning how to drive.

어깨너머로 배우다 learn by watching and listening to other people (Shadow someone) (Naver)

어깨너머로 over a persons shoulder

저는 빨리 배운 사람이에요. I am a fast learner.

저는 빨리 배워요. I learn quickly.

피아노를 완전히 배우고 싶어요. I want to master learning the piano. (Lit. I want to learn playing the piano completely)

작년에 저는 꽃꽂이를 배웠어요. I learned how to arrange flowers last year.

미나는 호신술을 배웠어요. Mina learned self-defense.

저는 3년 전부터 독학으로 한국어를 배우고 있어요. I've been learning Korean by myself since 3 years ago. I have been self studying Korean for 3 years.

시행착오를 통해 배우다 Learn through trial and error

그 이타리안 요리사은 전국 제일의 카르보나라 소스를 만드는 것을 시행착오를 통해 배웠어요. The Italian chef learned through trial and error to make Korea’s best carbonara sauce. (My version)

이 이탈리아 요리사는 시행착오를 통해 국내 최고의 카르보나라 소스를 만드는 법을 배웠습니다. The Italian chef learned how to make the best carbonara sauce in Korea through trial and error. (Papago version) Through trial and error, this Italian chef has learned to make the country's best carbonara sauce.

이해 understanding/ interest/ comprehension/ grasp/ figure out

수학은 너무 이해하기 어려워요! Maths is so hard to understand!

저는 음악을 이해해요. I appreciate music. I have a good ear for music.

미나와 그녀의 친구는 서로를 잘못 이해했기 때문에 서로 싸웠다. Mina and her friend fought because they misunderstood each other. (Mine with help from Papago)

MISCELLANEOUS THINGS I FOUND INTERESTING IN THIS SONG!

헤어나다 get out of/ get through/ free oneself from something

헤어나올 수 없어 - A literary expression used to talk about something that you like or love but can’t quit. Used when you deeply love sth/ sm to the point you can’t abandon/ quit it.

Can be used to talk about something that your so engrossed in that you can’t escape from it: Like a book.

진범 팟캐스트 너무 흥미 있어서 헤어나올 수가 없었어요. (Literal translation: The real culprit podcast was so interesting that I couldn't get out of it.) Nuance: Because the true crime podcast was so interesting I couldn’t stop listening to it.

'어느 날 우리 집 현관으로 멸망이 들어왔다' 드라마에서 너무 흥미 있어서 헤어나올 수가 없었어요.The drama 'One day, destruction came through the front door of my house' was so interesting that I couldn't get out of it. (Nuance: Because the drama ‘Doom at Your Service’ was so interesting I couldn’t stop watching it!)

저는 이 고래 모양이 과자에서 헤어나올 수 없어요. (Lit. I can't get out of this whale shape cookie.) Nuance: I love this whale shaped snack so much that I can’t stop eating it. I can't escape from eating it.

However I have seen other people spell it as ‘헤어날 수 없다’

Mainly used to talk about situations if not used for literary/ poetic reasons

E.G: 가난에서 헤어날 수 없다 Can't get out of poverty.

헤어지게 하다 to break up/ to separate

헤어지다 to break up/ to part ways

GRAMMAR:

-(으)ㄹ 테니

It would be

A will be, so do B

Similar Grammar:

을/ ㄹ 테니까

Attached to verb stem to show speakers speculation regarding the end of their sentence.

As I expect

As I Intend

Because I expect

Because I intend

‘테’ Means intention/ expectation

(으) 니까 reason for speakers following command or suggestion (Since….)

Therefore it means ‘Since there is the expectation that….’

Usually followed by a command/ request/ suggestion

Since I expect….you do….

As I expect to do….please do…

눈이 올 테니까 보온 코트를 입으세요. It's going to snow, so wear a warm coat.

이 치킨은 제대로 요리되지 않은을 테니까 안 드세요. This chicken won't be cooked properly, so don't eat it. Don't eat this chicken because it's not cooked properly. (Since I expect that this chicken won’t be cooked properly, please don’t eat it)

샴푸가 없을 테니까 두병 사세요. There will be no shampoo, so buy two bottles.

More common to use 을/ ㄹ 테니까 than ㄹ 텐데(요) when the speaker is talking about intention.

저는 김치 살 테니까 김치전을 만들어 먹자. I'm going to buy kimchi, so let's make kimchi jeon.

내일 아침에 운동을 테니까 운동화가 신을 거예요. I'm going to exercise tomorrow morning, so I'll wear trainers I'm going to work out tomorrow morning, so I'm going to wear trainers.

Example in this song:

내게 보여주기엔 창피할테니 It'll be embarrassing to show me (Meaning: I expect you will find it embarrassing to show me, Because I expect you will find it embarrassing to show me...)

을/ㄹ 텐데(요)

Can mean ‘would’

It can be used to talk about past tense situations where if the conditions were right something would have happened.

When this happens 았/었더라면 or 았/었더라도 is usually used to separate the clauses.

시간이 있었더라면 저는 파티에 갔을 텐데요. If I had time, I would have gone to the party. (My example sentence)

시간이 있었더라도 저는 파티에 안 갔을 텐데요. Even if I had time, I wouldn't have gone to the party.

Subtle nuance of ㄹ 텐데(요)

When used in the past tense with ‘if’ it gives the feeling of the speakers regret.

E.g 시간이 있었더라면 저는 파티에 갔을 텐데요. If I had time, I would have gone to the party. The speaker is regretting not having enough time to go to the party.

When using ㄹ 텐데(요) with 았/었더라도 even if… It gives the nuance of the speaker being annoyed or vexed.

시간이 있었더라도 저는 파티에 안 갔을 텐데요. Even if I had time, I wouldn't have gone to the party. Gives the nuance of Ugh even if I had the time, I still wouldn’t have gone to the party. (E.g the speaker could be mad at the party host, not bothered to go out, tired…)

When using it in present tense with ‘if’ it gives the feeling of 'Oh it’s too bad'

시간이 있으면 저는 파티에 갈 텐데요. If I have time, I'll go to the party. Oh it’s too bad that I don’t have time to go to the party. (It gives the meaning of oh it’s too bad that I don’t have enough time to go to the party, If I did I would go.)

It is probable/ I suppose….

The speaker is guessing or expecting an event to happen.

E.g It’s probably going to snow

It’s probably going to be warmer weather

they probably won’t turn up

It is different in nuance from other supposition grammar endings, as it gives the feeling of the speaker being worried, annoyed or thinking something’s a shame or a pity.

극장에 가기에는 너무 늦어을 텐데요. It's going to be too late to go to the theatre. It must be too late to go to the theatre. (Gives the impression of ‘Oh that’s too bad, it’s probably too late to go to the cinema/ theatre.) E.g I’m worried it’s too late to go/ I’m annoyed that it’s probably too late to go.

I will be creating a separate grammar post that goes into more detail and more example sentences, so stay tuned for that!

Can I recommend seeing

https://www.howtostudykorean.com/upper-intermediate-korean-grammar/unit-4-lessons-92-100/lesson-100/

This is the site that I used in order to study today's grammar concept, they explain it in really clear and precise detail. Excellent resource to have stashed in your study packs!

There we go everyone! Study Session complete! I hope you had fun studying with Musical Monday's, and that you enjoyed listening to the song!

As always everyone,

Stay safe, have a beautiful day, and happy studying! X

Sources: Verbix.com/ Naver Dictionary/ Papago translation/ howtostudykorean.com

Image sourced from: Unsplash.com but I have edited it and added my own text.

[wcamino-confessions]

Ngl, I feel bad for one of my best friends Beeflight, not cause anything bad in particular happened to her but because she has to deal with me complaining how I don't wanna go back to WA everyday. I know that sounds dumb for me to complain about and it is I won't lie, but it got me thinking, I should be excited to get off my hiatus but instead I'm miserable, I don't wanna go back and as the days got closer and closer to my hiatus being over, I'd get even more angry and depressed about it, which shouldn't happen y'know? And it's not even that I'm dreading something in particular, it's for a ton of reasons, lemme explain:

After a certain event I don't want to get into cause I simply don't feel ready to share with the world rn despite what certain users might think lol, I'm not comfortable with wa, it's taken my desire to be on WA away, it's ruined it for me and being there makes me feel like shit.

My friends I have on discord, so I wouldn't even be staying for friends at that point, granted bee wants to introduce me to her friends which I am excited for but besides that ehhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not really any friendship reasons to stay on WA.

I'm not to great mentally but I'm better now then I was when I was actively using Warriors Amino. Instead of being on my phone 24/7 and not leaving my bed, I'm leaving my bed and talking to people, granted 90% of the time I'm doing it while playing splatoon or animal crossing on my switch but it's better then nothing, it's either that or I'm talking to bee, twelv or my other best friends on Discord.

Why am I telling a ton of strangers this? Well, the truth is idk, I guess I need some advice? To get stuff off my chest? To give Bee a break from my idiocy lmao,, I really don't know,, I guess I would appreciate some suggestions, maybe input? If you listened thank you, and Bee if you had to read this sorry you had to hear me rant about this for the billionth time, ilu dude 🥺💗

The only thing keeping me around is well,, clans, and tbh idk what to do in that regard, if I stay it'll only be for my clans and for commissions I suppose, but I feel like I'd be absolutely miserable? But if I leave all my clans and if I leave wa, I guess I'd fear that I'm missing out or I'd regret it, I always have a serious habit of thinking of "What If's" and it's really sad actually. "What if I change my mind" "what if I leave the clans, come back and then what? They can't let me rejoin" I guess it stems from me working so hard to be where I am in my clans that leaving them would make me feel garbage, but staying on WA would make me feel worse.

I also wanna start PayPal commissions and point commissions more regularly so I can pay for switch games and buy myself some stuff for my birthday, but I wouldn't make a prophet on any other platform I'm on, ya get me? But maybe that's just my mind making excuses at this point because everyone knows WA is cheap as hell and if you don't sell for coins the majority of members won't bite lol.

[kirain]

@blackjackkent

I received quite a few anons asking me about tactician mode ... so I made a guide. I wasn't sure how in depth you wanted me to go, so sorry in advance for getting a bit overzealous. You may already know some/a lot of this information, but if you manage to make it all the way through, hopefully it helps! 😅

Honestly, tactician isn't too difficult if you've played the game once already and know what to expect. I'd suggest making a manual save before each combat encounter, carry a backpack of potions, don't sell any scrolls, and use Astarion to pickpocket every useful item you can find, especially from vendors. One of the roughest things about tactician isn't necessarily the fights, but the fact that long rests require 80 supplies instead of 40, and the prices of essential/unique items skyrockets. You also make hardly any profit from anything you sell, so money is tight. That said, you should be fine as long as you steal and loot everything that's not nailed down. Check every nook and cranny, rob vendors of their stock after every long rest, grab every bottle of alcohol, etc. You won't regret it.

Also, collect every single smokepowder and oil barrel you can find and send them to your camp, along with every backpack you come across. Backpack bombs, which you'll fill with explosive arrows, bombs, fireworks, and alchemist's fire grenades, give you an almost unfair advantage. If you're stuck, simply chuck one at an enemy and ignite the contents that spill out. Boom!

And as if I needed more of a reason to love Barcus, he will be instrumental in your tactician run, because he sells explosive arrows, teleportation arrows, bombs, the best gloves; the Gloves of the Automaton, and he gifts you the Brilliant Retort. The gloves can be used every short rest and grant you a class action called Circuitry Interface, which tricks enemies into perceiving you as a construct, which makes you resistant to lightning attacks, harder to hit, and gives you an advantage on attack rolls. The gloves themselves also give you a +1 bonus to strength saving throws, whether you activate the class action or not. So make sure you don't accidentally fling our little gnome friend off the windmill, otherwise you'll miss out on a lot of helpful gear. Every long rest, either buy or pickpocket his stock. Poetic as it is, his invention even turned the tides during my fight with the Apostle of Myrkul, wiping him out when everyone on my team was on the brink of death. I love you, Barcus. 💋

Be sure to also collect and split up every arrow type between all companions who can fire a bow. I know a lot of people forget they have arrows (myself included the first time I played), but they're super helpful, so make sure you use them. Same with potions. In fact, I would recommend you sell nothing. Any clothes or weapons you pick up (besides the common junk), store it in your chest, just in case. Astarion's going to be stealing almost everything, so you don't need a whole lot of money anyway. I also have another post here explaining the best way to organise storage, if it helps. Some merchants are more difficult to pickpocket than others (like Quartermaster Talli, because she has so many eyes on her), but just be patient and wait for your in. It'll come.

For the race, I would highly suggest playing as a githyanki. Fighter would be the best class, with Battle Master as the subclass—just make sure you put quite a few points into charisma. This will give you the githyanki psionics Leap and Mage Hand, which are invaluable assets. You'll also unlock Misty Step at level 5. In addition, githyanki have high mobility and hit hard, making them arguably the best choice for this difficulty. Of course, playing as a different race or class is still possible—I'm doing another tactician run on PC right now, and I'm playing as a drow half-elf—but a githyanki Battle Master is ideal. Speaking of which, I should mention the subclass I used for every companion:

Gale: Wizard - Evocation

Lae'zel: Fighter - Battle Master

Astarion: Rogue - Thief

Wyll: Warlock - The Fiend

Karlach: Barbarian - Berserker

Shadowheart: Cleric - Trickery Domain

Halsin: Druid - Circle of Moon

Jaheira: Druid - Circle of Moon

Minsc: Ranger - Beast Master

Minthara: Paladin - Oath of Vengeance

Now. If you're only interested in the trophy, play through Act 1 and 2, doing as much as you can to bank XP. As I said, most fights aren't that hard if you plan your assault based on the knowledge you have from your first playthrough. Once you get to Act 3, follow these steps:

1. Make a beeline for the "Investigate the Murders" quest. Rush through them to get the password for the door and enter the Temple of Bhaal, then talk to Sarevok and accept his deal. Bye bye, Valeria. I would suggest taking Astarion, Lae'zel, and Minthara (or Shadowheart, if you don't have Minthara) to this interaction, because none of them care if you kill the bitchy Hollyphant.

2. You can now face Orin. Sneak into the temple with an invisibility spell (avoiding the ambush at the entrance), confront Orin, and kill her.

3. Agree to team up with Gortash and confront the brain. Bye bye, Gortash. Also, make sure you take Gale! From here on out, he must never leave your party.

4. Side with the Emperor, but try to convince Lae'zel to stand down (if she's with you). As you can imagine, fighting her is rough.

5. Use invisibility potions (you'll have to take at least five with you; one for every companion, plus one for the Emperor) or spells to sneak one companion past the big battle at the start of the area. I suggest using Gale for this, especially if he has Enhanced Leap.

6. Once your companion is through, the nautiloids will start firing on them. Don't bother with any fights, though. Just Misty Step and/or Enhanced Leap to reach the final doors. This will cease all enemy aggression in that section.

7. Use the invisibility potions to sneak your remaining companions up to the tower, joining whoever you sent through first.

8. When given the option to climb the brain, convince Gale to nuke himself, if he doesn't immediately volunteer. This counts as beating the game on tactician mode. Poor Gale...

9. Sit back and watch the fireworks.

10. Trophy/achievement unlocked!

If you're a masochist like me, however, and you want to take on the full challenge, the hardest fights are, of course, all major boss fights, but also keeping people alive. Possibly the most annoying missions will come at Last Light Inn, which I'll explain in a moment. That said, regardless of whether or not you cheese the trophy by Usain Bolting your way through Act 3, you'll still need to get that far.

Off the bat, I want to warn you that Astarion is useless, at least in a fight. You're not going to be using him in combat at all, especially since you'll want to subclass him as a Thief. This gives him a significant bonus to Slight of Hand, which makes it easier for him to steal. But don't worry, because while he won't be joining you on the battlefield, he will be lining your pockets with everything you need to survive. Weapons, armour, food, potions, you name it—he'll get it. I would also suggest equipping him with the Gloves of Thievery, which can be bought from Brem in the Zhentarim Hideout. His ability to steal will play a huge role in your tactician run.

Your biggest MVPs will undoubtedly be Lae'zel and Gale. I'd suggest making Lae'zel a Battle Master, same as your character, and be sure to add Precision Attack to both when you level up. As for Gale, an Evocation wizard would be best. This will ensure his spells won't hit you if you're in his line of fire. And don't forget he can also learn spells from nearly every scroll you pick up, which is a godsend. Invulnerability will be particularly useful in Act 3, which I often use to heal up my party or protect NPCs.

Now for the fights. Act 1 is fairly straightforward, with most of the encounters being relatively tame. As long as you carry plenty of health potions, make careful use of your short rests, plan your attacks accordingly, and regularly gear up your companions, you should be able to get through two to four fights before needing a long rest. This will be the case throughout the entire game.

However, I do want to suggest you grab the Everburn Blade off of the devil commander on the Nautiloid, which is an almost impossible fight. I carried it all the way to Act 3, as it's incredible. You very likely won't be able to defeat him on tactician mode, though, so the only way to really get the sword is by save scumming. Before the fight, go into Shadowheart's spell book and equip Command, then use it on the devil to make him drop his weapon. Since your level is so low, you in turn have a very low chance of succeeding, but simply reload your save until you get it—if you're so determined. I was.

Moving on, I'd say the hardest fights in Act 1 are both in the Underdark: the spectator and Nere. For the spectator fight, I suggest you approach the area with only one character. That way, only they will suffer the "surprised" condition. Send the others in after the spectator attacks. You may lose whichever character you sent in first, but it's a worthy sacrifice. Just make sure Astarion has stolen a bunch of revival scrolls lol.

For the Nere fight, make sure you ally with the rebels. Having them on your side will drastically increase your chances of success. In order to do this, you'll first have to clobber the scrying eye surveying the area. On normal mode, you can kill those little buggers with pretty much any attack, but on tactician it's a bit more complicated. Since the eye is a construct, conventional attacks won't work anymore. The only way to dispose of it is with Thunderwave, Shatter, or Throw.

When the time comes to start the battle, I would also suggest splitting your group three ways. Place yourself and Lae'zel between Nere and Thrinn. You'll want to take them and the duergar wizards out as soon as possible, otherwise they'll dominate your characters' minds, which is extremely annoying. Then take either Wyll or Shadowheart and place whoever you choose up on the wall, where the archer is. As the fight drags on, that archer will also become a problem because of her Arrows of Roaring Thunder, which can knock you into the lava pits. So take her out as fast as possible. Keep Gale near the entrance and use him to blast anyone in his range.

And that's it.

Now, you might be wondering why I didn't include Auntie Ethel, but that's because I'm going to teach you a little trick. Using Lae'zel, chug an invisibility potion (or use a spell) and sneak into Ethel's hut carrying three barrels of smokepowder/oil. Place them around Ethel, then enter the hut with your other characters and confront her. Tell Mayrina about her brothers, earning her trust, then detonate the barrels as soon as Ethel transforms. This should bring her health down low enough that you should be able to kill her before she retreats into her lair, making the fight a breeze. Use Gale, Lae'zel, and Karlach.

In Act 2, the hardest fights will be the Toll Collector, Malus Thorm (the undead surgeon), Balthazar, Ketheric's lackeys, the Apostle of Myrkul, and for some reason those stupid acid blobs hiding in the cave by the Gauntlet of Shar. Luckily, half of these fights can be won with diplomacy or stealth.

For the Toll Collector, give her one coin, then tell her you "don't usually give something for nothing". She'll become irriated, and you can use that opportunity to convince her to off herself. For Malus, take Shadowheart for the guidance and religion boost and use his religion against him, convincing him to kill himself and his nurses. For the blobs, just use invisibility on yourself, detach from the group, jump to the skeleton, and when you loot it send the item it's holding to a companion. If you pick it up yourself, you'll become visible and combat will ensue. Just return to your team and fast travel out of the cave. The fight isn't worth it.

For Balthazar, kill him in his hideout. If you fight him when you free the Nightsong, he'll be even more difficult. This fight will be rough, since the space is quite small, but if you attack him with Lae'zel's Feinting Attack, switch to your character while he's talking, then attack him the same way with your own character, that should significantly lower his health and net you one free hit. Again, I would suggest using Lae'zel, Gale, and Karlach. Maybe also blind his skeletons at the entrance, and maybe set up a few smokepowder barrels.

Ketheric's lackeys when you storm the castle aren't too hard. They really only become a problem if the Harpers start acting stupid, which unfortunately you can't control. For this fight, you might want Halsin, Gale, and Shadowheart, as well as Jaheira, as you should be able to convince her to join you. In this fight, Halsin's Spike Growth and Sunbeam attack will be invaluable, as well as Shadowheart's Glyph of Warding and Gale's Sleet Storm/Fireball spell (and Cloudkill, if he has it). The best way to approach this fight is by making the terrain as unfriendly as possible. With any luck, the enemy will ultimately die from all the hazards, while you stand back and smash any who manage to leap over it. Also be sure to break all concentration spells as you near the end of the fight, otherwise one of them might kill a Harper ... and for some dumb reason that turns them hostile. 😑

After that fight and the one upstairs with Radija, leave the castle (just step outside), go to camp, and exchange Shadowheart and Halsin for Wyll and Lae'zel. You should be able to do so without time elapsing, but double check or make a new hard save before you continue. You cannot long rest yet. If you do, it could progress time and result in the Harpers and Jaheira dying. When you confront Ketheric, talk him down and spare his life—you'll need this for later. Use Wyll to blind the undead on one side and Gale to slip up the undead on the other. Then use Lae'zel and your own character to pound Ketheric into the pavement.

Take a long rest after the fight, grab Gale, Lae'zel, and anyone besides Halsin/Astarion (I would suggest Wyll or Karlach)—and a bunch of backpacks bombs—and jump down the demolished tower. If you want to save Zevlor and the others while you're down there, definitely go for it, but spread your team out before opening the pods. I usually take Wyll, so I put him on one side with Lae'zel, myself on the other, and Gale in the center of the room. Also keep in mind that the mind flayers may be able to one-shot you with Devour. Hit them fast and hit them hard, and pray that their prep attack misses.

As for the Apostle of Myrkul ... backpack bombs, courtesy of our darling Barcus. Take the Brilliant Retort as well. This fight can also be made easier by talking Ketheric down during both encounters. You'll need to spare him during the first fight, then convince him to give up during the second. If you skip the first step, you won't have the option to talk him down later and you'll have to fight him and his Apostle form, which is a huge drain on your health and resources. I would also suggest giving Gale the Pearl of Power Amulet, which can be purchased from Omeluum in the Underdark and used to replenish spell slots.

In addition, I would also suggest taking a ton of Fireball scrolls, because they're especially effective against the Apostle. For this fight, Misty Step or use an Arrow of Transposition to reach Aylin as soon as possible, and take out the annoying mind flayer as well. After that, throw everything you have at the Apostle and hope Aylin doesn't get caught in the blast. Try your best not to let the Apostle consume his skellies either, but if you're relentless with your attacks, you might not need to worry about it.

The most annoying fights will both take place at Last Light Inn, when you save Thaniel and protect Isobel. I love Isobel, but my God she's useless in a fight. If she takes three or four hits, that might be the end of her. For this fight, I would suggest taking Lae'zel for her multiple attacks, Gale for his wide range attacks (just be careful not to hit Isobel), and either Karlach for her multiple attacks or Wyll for his range/knock back attacks. If you want to save all the tieflings, leave Lae'zel downstairs to help with the Winged Horrors, but keep in mind that that might make the battle upstairs a bit harder.

The Thaniel mission is straight up bullshit. Not because it's hard, but because that portal is made of tissue paper. Some guides might tell you to collect empty boxes and set them up around the portal, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't work. I tried it, but the arrows went straight through them. The archers are definitely your worst enemy. Now, what might help is setting up a few boxes in front of the portal, to make it harder for the closest enemies to walk up and strike it, but building a huge fortress is pointless. For this fight, I would suggest Shadowheart, Gale, and Wyll. Use Gale's Sleet Storm, Wyll's Darkness, and Shadowheart's Spirit Guardians and Glyph of Warding spells. Make the terrain unfriendly and close off all possible paths. Grease the area too, especially around the steps and bushes. Also, the explosive barrels you've been collecting will come in quite handy here. Place four or five around the battlefield, before talking to Halsin, and ignite them if you get desperate. If you have any Wall of Stone scrolls, that spell is also a godsend, but Talli sells them for an exorbitant amount and you need to roll an 18 to pickpocket them off of her. You can also shoot an Arrow of Darkness in front of the portal, which should obscure it from enemy view.

So that's Act 2 all wrapped up! By Act 3, you should have many barrels, supplies, smokebombs, a few explosive arrows, and plenty of backpacks to make backpack bombs. Since you've been doing all the side quests and battles, hopefully, you should also be close to level 12. As always, most of the battles aren't that difficult. The exceptions are, of course, the boss fights. Particularly Auntie Ethel, Orin, Raphael, the Netherbrain, and (if you're insane like me and actually care about the NPCs) the Iron Throne prison break. Though that can mostly be cheesed with Misty Step, Dimension Door, Invincibility, Hold, Slow, and Arrows of Transposition. Just keep in mind that on tactician mode, you have less time.

The Foundry mission isn't a walk in the park either, but it's not too bad if you keep an eye out for the floating controls during the fight, and also buy/steal a bunch of Flashblinders from Bumpnagel, the gnome trader in Angleiron's Cellar. I'd suggest going back to him every few long rests and stocking up. Those grenades are everything, as they stun the Steel Watch when you throw them at them, making the fight so much easier. Also, again, Lae'zel and Gale are MVPs in that fight, as well as Karlach.

Auntie Ethel isn't too bad if you sneak down to the basement of the bar and tiptoe past her thralls—who I personally don't like killing anyway, since they're slaves. On tactician mode, the mushrooms that regenerate her are a lot harder to destroy, and if you don't wipe them out in one turn, they heal. 😒 So once you've snuck in, I would suggest throwing a few backpack bombs at each mushroom (don't ignite them yet) except the closest one against the wall. Put a barrel and a smokepowder bomb beside the stupid mushroom, stand back, and ignite it. Once the mushroom is destroyed, Ethel will manifest in front of you ... pissed. Don't worry about her thralls and try to take those mushrooms out as fast as possible. Also make sure you hit the real Ethel when the time comes to attack her. If you look closely, you can actually make out which one is the real one. She'll likely have a debuff and a "baby bump". The copies won't. Also, don't forget to save the kid. Tactician mode doesn't call for you to do anything different in that regard.

Orin is extremely difficult unless you get rid of her cultists. To do this, the best strategy is to distract her from a distance. Before attacking her from afar, use a potion or spell to turn Lae'zel invisible and move her away from your group. After that, use someone else to shoot at Orin. She'll jump towards your group, giving you an opening. On Lae'zel's turn, use Misty Step to teleport her into the center of the cultists. From there, line up shots with her Arrows of Roaring Thunder. You should be able to blast every enemy back into the abyss. Gale is also great for this with his Thunderwave. Since there are two more cultists on tactician mode, you may want to send him in with Lae'zel. Just be careful not to let Orin near him or she will one-shot him. If you're worried, use an Invincibility scroll to shield your team, but keep in mind that Orin can break it. Her slayer form is bullshit. As for her armour, Gale saves the day again. Use his Magic Missle to break it down piece by piece.

Raphael, as I'm sure no one will be surprised to read, is objectively the hardest boss in the entire game. Besides convincing the Orthon to side with you, which requires a very high persuasion check, and of course saving Hope, there are a few other tricks you can use to make this fight bearable. For one, take the Blood of Lathander with you, which you can find in the githyanki Crèche, and the Callous Glow Ring, which can be found in a vault near Balthazar in the Gauntlet of Shar. The Blood of Lathander blinds fiends, including Raphael, and the ring causes additional damage to illuminated creatures. I would suggest using Shadowheart for this. Also, if Gale can summon a myrmidon, that would be great, and make sure he has Counterspell.

Before starting anything, though, place a bunch of smokepowder/oil barrels or bombs around the pillars, and maybe some in the middle of the room (if you think you'll be able to avoid them). This means you'll probably be over encumbered when going to Avernus, but that's fine. If you need more supplies, you can travel back and forth freely through the portal so long as you don't steal the Orphic Hammer or free Hope. When the fight begins, take out all of Raphael's horned stooges, then the pillars, then Raphael himself. Also make sure every companion has fire arrows or a fire spell to ignite your explosives when needed, and you'll eventually make Raphael's immortal life—expiiiiiiiire. 😈

That just leaves the final battle. Home stretch! For this area, I would still suggest using invisibility potions to sneak past all the enemies and race to the top of the tower. While the fight is certainly epic, it's not particularly difficult or rewarding. If anything, it's a detriment, because on tactician mode (as I learned the hard way) there's no restoration pod at the top of the tower. That means you'll be going into the final battle carrying any injuries, debuffs, etc. you sustained before reaching the brain.

The only other semi-difficult battles are Gortash and Ansur, but if you disable the Steel Watch, Gortash is almost a joke. I can't even give advice on this one because I killed him in four turns. I'm not sure if I just got lucky, but I saved him for last (since killing him starts causing citizens to turn into mind flayers) and I ended up laughing. 😅 As for Ansur, just set up a bunch of explosives underneath his corpse before talking to him, move your team far left, ignite your trap, and remember to hide behind the rocks if he survives long enough to use his sky attack.

The Netherbrain is a pain mostly because of the dragon and mind flayer mages. Luckily the mages are quite susceptible to damage, but you need to get close enough to hit them. This is where your Arrows of Transposition will come in handy. Whoever has the stones, use the arrows to get them to the crown as quickly as possible. As for the dragon and surrounding enemies, make sure you take several backpack bombs with you, including one that carries the Runepowder Bomb. Throw them at the dragon and watch the fireworks! It probably won't kill it, but it will seriously decrease its health, making the battle much more manageable.

Once you reach the brain, just be mindful where you stand. I can't remember if this was also the case on normal, but on tactician mode, the brain will target certain platforms and vaporize them, sending anyone standing on them to their untimely death.

And that's everything. Keep in mind that this is all based on my own tactician run. I'm sure there are multiple ways to play it, but this is what worked for me, playing on a morally good alignment.

Enjoy your plat!

I did it. 😏

Thank you, Larian, for making one of the best games I've played in nearly a decade!

[punkscowardschampions]

Lux & Amber

Lux: Hey, Amber, I was wondering if I could talk to you, when you've got the time to 💬 back and forth for a bit 😌 Amber: Hi Amber: this'll work... Amber: are you okay? Lux: Yes in the sense this isn't a total emergency Lux: but no in the sense I'm not bothering you for no reason Lux: I don't know how to start this Amber: total emergencies are what my mama's for anyway, but I'll still try to help, if I can Lux: Yeah Lux: not that I'll be having that kind of emergency ever Lux: well, it was his idea Lux: and I don't know whether he expected me to follow up on it or not but I'm going to Lux: so maybe I don't feel as insane Lux: it's about Dash Amber: Oh Amber: we're not together if that's what's worrying you, it was just once Amber: and it won't be happening again Lux: I knew you weren't Lux: maybe knew is an overstatement, thought, anyway Lux: what do you think of him? Amber: you did, because he doesn't do 'together' and we all know that Amber: what did he do to make you feel insane? Amber: I think it's probably similar to the way he made me feel stupid, but I'm ready to be wrong Lux: How did he make you feel stupid? Amber: I thought we were friends, we're not Amber: and I thought that maybe he was just a little lost, but he knows exactly what he's looking for Lux: Yeah Lux: I think it might be the same Lux: he said one thing at the time Lux: but then today he said something that made that all so Lux: gross Amber: because he wanted something different from you today from wanting to have sex with you Lux: he said it was part of the tour Lux: which in itself...but then he said he only did it to 'tourists' Amber: I've been here for months, how am I a tourist? Lux: I know! Amber: my family lives and works here and he goes to school with me, I see him every day for like hours, on the commune and outside of it Lux: I wanted him to admit that it was a lie, that this was like family, because that isn't what you do to family, even if it's totally chill or whatever, you still don't view all these girls as your sisters, like you clearly do the boys as your bros Lux: but he couldn't do that, 'cos if this is all bullshit then what is he doing Lux: but then that amounted to him essentially saying he did it to the most fucked up, vulnerable girls, who he knew would go away before it became an issue for him...and that's me, so, everything else he said is untrue and manipulative and Amber: I don't think he understands family for what it's worth, whether he really believes this is one or he's hiding behind that Amber: but if that's his perspective, I understand now why he seemed to immediately regret sleeping with me, because it's unlikely I'm leaving any time soon Amber: even if my 'vulnerability' did jump out Lux: you've at least confirmed I'm not hysterical Lux: he said I should ask you, that it's cool Amber: I'm sorry he hurt and used you like that, I didn't realise I'd have to start warning every girl here Amber: or that he was THAT person Amber: yes, he lied to me and stole from me but he's not the first hippie boy I've met who tried to do some kind of free love revival Lux: he said he wasn't scared of me 'telling' on him to these girls because everyone else is into it too Lux: but he asked me not to multiple times so clearly he doesn't think everyone would still be down if it was total transparency Amber: plenty of people here are into it and whatever you say or don't say, there'll be girls who are still into him Amber: I fell for it after everything I'd seen and heard because he made me want to, I was still willing to give him another chance afterwards Amber: pretty face and prettier words, right? Lux: I'm just sick of dealing with people who are shitty Lux: just because they're not as shitty to me as everyone else Amber: there are people here who would listen, I hope, hold him accountable instead of falling into the forgiveness and understanding speech immediately Amber: my mama, for one, if it came from you instead of me Lux: there's people here who don't like me too Lux: more than that Amber: Who? Lux: I'm not trying to turn this into a big tattle-tale party Lux: I tried to tell him but he wasn't listening Amber: you can tell me, I'll keep my temper and listen Amber: nobody wants to listen to teenage girls and I'm not feeding into that lie that we're all hysterical, even though I am angry Lux: some of the older ladies Lux: they don't think I am a teenage girl Lux: that I've co-opted the experience of being a woman for the aesthetic, without ever having to face the adversity and struggles they do, as biological women Amber: I don't have the vocabulary to express how disgustingly narrow and dangerous that thinking is Lux: it's interesting to hear it from a perspective other than religion, I guess Lux: but still Lux: he thinks it's perfect here, and everyone is Amber: and his brother thinks it's hell on earth Lux: you know his brother? Amber: I met him and my 'aesthetic' jumped out for him Amber: he decided who I am because I live here Lux: I almost thought he'd made him up Lux: in a weird way Lux: I don't know how you get Dash and then him, from what he sounds like, anyway Amber: their experiences are actually entirely different Amber: Dash has opted out of any of the struggles, by being here, so it is perfect for him in that way, I guess Amber: like a utopia Amber: it's no wonder his brother thinks none of us live in the real world Lux: He doesn't 'do' responsibility, he said that Lux: responsibility to be an alright person really is the minimum Amber: plenty of people here obviously don't either Amber: those woman you mentioned don't even understand their own privilege, they just want to tell you yours Lux: don't get me wrong Lux: here is fine Lux: and lots of the people are nice and whatever Lux: but whenever I talk about my family it's like this smugness of how backwards they are when I've got the same treatment from plenty of non-religious folks for no reason but disagreeing Lux: my parents think they're saving me from eternal damnation, because they love me, that's not nothing Amber: like the thinking that anything about living this way makes us superior isn't backward Amber: they're pretending to be free and open is the key to the kingdom and the only way anyone gets to be here Amber: but it's not Lux: I just need somewhere I'm safe Lux: so I can actually sort out what I'm doing with the rest of my life Amber: I know what you mean Amber: I feel like I'm always asking for time to figure things out but it doesn't happen like that Lux: Sorry to put more strain on your time right now Lux: it just Lux: ugh Amber: honestly, it's a relief that there's someone else who feels the same about this place Amber: I can't talk to my parents about it, they love it here Lux: You can talk to me about it any time Lux: even if I am your dad's teacher's pet right now Lux: I just get really bored of the manual labour here, I don't mind chipping in, obviously, but being stuck here all day every day, I want to be using my 🧠 Amber: he talks about you A LOT and I am jealous but I'm not holding it against you personally Amber: if only you could take my place in school... Amber: but for now, do you want to come with me? Somewhere where everything is concrete and plastic? Lux: Dash would be so upset we're not talking about him right there Lux: sounds like heaven Amber: does he 'do' upset? 🙄 Lux: I'm trying not to care right now Amber: we're caring about 🛍💅 like teenage girls with like ZERO struggles Amber: I full intend to buy the most uncomfortable and impractical bra ever and wear it everywhere those women are Lux: 😆 Lux: as long as I can find some falsies to fill mine Amber: I probably should too, there's not much going on here Amber: and when you're in a better headspace, I'll introduce you to my friends from school Amber: I think it'll help Lux: really? 😀 😃 Amber: Yes, some of them are so 'normal' it makes me feel 👽 Amber: but in a good way Lux: I could use that Amber: the conversations hit different because they are Lux: I liked talking to him Lux: 'til he messed it all up Amber: not to be ✌☮🕊 but do you want to give him another chance? Lux: I really don't know what I think or what I'm going to do yet Lux: I've got no desire to hate anyone or be petty Lux: but he isn't sorry so Lux: I'm just a pushover and an idiot if I give him another chance Amber: caring is important but you need to care about yourself too, especially if he isn't sorry Lux: I just hope he can make some better choices Lux: but unlikely Lux: he's happy with how it is right now Amber: treating girls right instead of passing them around like 🚬🌿 isn't growth he's ready for Amber: yet Lux: its hard to know what I should say Lux: if anything Lux: to these other girls he was openly being nasty abouy Amber: his honesty was brutal, why soften the truth if it only protects him? Amber: you can always show them the relevant parts of the conversation if you kept it Lux: I'd feel like crap if other people got hurt needlessly when I knew Lux: but I'm hardly endearing myself to them if they don't see it how I do and they just think I'm trying to like, claim him or whatever nonsense Amber: I can do it, he's already made all those jokes about me being 💔 Amber: and I've been here long enough for everyone to know who I am Lux: 🙄😒 Lux: why are guys like that Lux: they say they wanna chill with down girls but then their ego makes them wanna believe you're actually in LOVE with them Amber: I wish I knew, and that I didn't have sex with him Amber: but he probably would have said I did anyway, I guess Lux: He's the second person I've ever Amber: well now I'm really 😠 Amber: my dad'll be upset about it but if I see him around I will hit him Lux: I mean, I'm straight Lux: so I was gay Amber: that's adversity if those judgemental woman would like to get into it, liking boys is the biggest struggle Amber: they really don't make it easy for us Lux: Are there any boys you like that aren't him Amber: I need to make better decisions, so that means saying no to that question Lux: Gotcha Amber: but it's a lie and I'm not lying to you today too Amber: just so you know Lux: I appreciate it Lux: probably got enough frivolous boy chat for the both of us though, so you can try to be better Amber: he did say he likes me, I do have that in writing, but what have we learned today if not to trust stuff like that Lux: is he from school? Lux: not all guys can be total assholes, right Lux: that sounds like something those old ladies would say Amber: he's a good person but he insists he's bad for me, I have to listen to that, don't I? Lux: depends why he thinks that, I suppose Lux: it could be an insecurity thing Lux: or a genuine warning Amber: he thinks it's genuine, and I know why he does, we are very different Lux: good different like your school friends Lux: or the bad kind Amber: I don't know Lux: Tricky Amber: it's another thing I need more time to figure out Lux: You'll have it Lux: boys wait for girls like you Amber: girls like me? Lux: Beautiful Amber: that's girls like US Lux: 😌😚 Amber: beautiful and weird and getting out of here for a while even if boys are waiting for us Lux: heck yeah! Lux: he's waiting on Cleopatra though, currently Amber: who? Amber: is she new here? Lux: oh, that's not her real name Lux: umm Lux: another 💎 Amber: he's not waiting for me Lux: Sapphire! Amber: of course Lux: I don't know her Amber: she got here a few weeks ago, her brother Onyx tends to speak for her more than she does for herself Lux: don't love that Lux: was picturing Liz Taylor Lux: wouldn't need to worry about her Amber: did he say she looks like Elizabeth Taylor? Lux: just Cleo Lux: well, 'vibe' which can mean everything and nothing, I really don't know Amber: I don't 👀 it Lux: like you said, if anything his words are pretty Lux: which is nice, in a fucked up kinda way Amber: I don't think I'll try and remember how he described my 'vibe' though Lux: just let me know if he's doubling up on 👼s Amber: there are less 👼🏽 it would be creative Amber: but no Lux: not going to keep a list for him so he can keep track or anything Amber: if he keeps one himself I didn't find it when I searched his room Lux: wait, WHAT??!? Amber: he stole my stash, I didn't want my dad to get upset with me so I went to his house to see if I could get it back Amber: that's how I met his brother Amber: I didn't find it, if he smoked with you, that was on me Lux: asshole Lux: I need to find something cute to wear at the shops Lux: it's the most teen girl response possible Amber: [tells her where she can find all the best clothes because it'd be such a free for all cos nobody has proper rooms or storage like] Lux: 🤞 having my ankles on display is a CHOICE LEWK Lux: ['cos how many of these malnourished girls are 5'10 lol] Amber: ✂ Amber: short shorts are a teenage girl staple Amber: I'm going to get something else pierced while I'm this young and beautiful Lux: 😄😄 I have the legs for it 💁 Amber: and if you get 😽 called, you get to say everything Dash refused to listen to earlier Lux: Alright, I'm ready 😎 🤩 🥳 Amber: 🙃 Amber: let's go!

[mindblowndoeships]

Hii, I finally came to give you more work (╭☞◕ ³◕) ╭☞

 I would like to ask for a ship with Stray Kids and iKON.

I’m 18, almost 19, and I aspire to become a laboratory diagnostician. I’m also a runner, so I have quite an athletic build. I’m around 168 cm tall and I have short, blond hair with bangs and pastel pink ends. My eyes are bright blue and I’m really pale. People tend to call me a squirrel or a hamster because of my big cheeks. I’m a little shy when I meet new people in real life, but I quickly open up. It’s hard for me to talk about my problems with my close friends, because I feel like I’m burdening them too much. That’s why it’s often easier for me to rant to people on the internet. When I’m with my friends I’m very bright and cheerful, I often joke and play around with them. People say my sense of humor is pretty bad, but my laugh is so funny that it makes them laugh as well lmao. They also pointed out on multiple occasions that I’m really talkative and careless around them. Sometimes I come off as a little childish because I’m quite playful. I always do things that other people are too afraid or well-behaved to do, but often I end up regretting it later on. I’m always late, I still don’t know how to move around my city in the buses or trams (I always have to check it beforehand). My apartment is also pretty messy because I’m very sentimental and it’s hard for me to throw out stuff I got used to. I often buy useless things, like cute plants or stuffed animals and pillows. The only thing that is clean in my environment is my body. I shower up to six times a day, which isn’t very good for my bills and skin, but I just can’t stop doing it. I’m also obsessed with skincare, so I invest a lot of money and time into it. Honestly, I spend most of my money on beauty products and my cat. He is so spoiled that his food costs more than mine. I’m pretty much in love with him, and I can say that I would choose my kitty over almost all of my friends. I don’t really need people unless I become really attached to them. I like spending my time alone, as it is easier to organize it. I absolutely hate when something doesn’t go the way I planned. I’m a control freak and a perfectionist, so every mistake I make gives me a lot of anxiety. I’m very caring. I always try to be nice to people because I know how my words can affect them. I get really invested in other people’s problems and I do my best to help them. It’s often easier for me to cheer up others than myself. When something bad happens because of me, I beat myself up over it constantly. I also tend to worry about what people think of me as I’m quite self-conscious. It’s easy to make me feel bad. I pretend to not care about what others say, but in reality I’m really sensitive and I have a tendency to overthink. Other than that I’m always honest and I really hate liars. I’m also addicted to caffeine, as I pretty much fuel myself with coffee and energy drinks. I often pull all-nighters working. I’m really serious about my studies and I invest most of my time into them. Once I set myself a goal, I do everything in my power to achieve it. I either overwork myself or sleep on the couch all day. In free time I love to go out hiking or running, I also have a weak spot for swimming. I easily fall in love, and it’s also quite easy for me to get over someone. Aand I love listening to music. My taste is really various, but I just can’t imagine living without it.

Hey love 🌸 @venkawrites I'm so sorry for making you wait for so long, hope you like it!

From Stray Kids I ship you with Jisung!

I thought of him immediately when I read your description. I think you'll be able to easily attract his attention. Your cute appearance would definitely make him turn around for a double take to look at you 👀 In fact he'd probably stare at you a lot when you first meet, not in a creepy way of course. But more so with an admiration of your beauty, he would have a smile on his face whenever he's around. You'd often catch him randomly staring at you throughout your relationship, if you point it out he might get a little shy. Jisung just loves your blue eyes so much, he can't help but look at them for a little longer. He would be very affectionate towards you. I don't see him as being clingy, so when you need your space and alone time he won't have a problem with it. But when you guys are together he would shower you with kisses and make you feel loved. I don't see you guys staying indoors too much, unless you're both tired or haven't seen each other in a long time. Jisung would love going out with you and traveling together on your vacations. He'd want to take you to places that he's never been to before, just so you guys could share these special moments with each other and make memories. On a day to day basis he'd love to go for a run or a swim with you as long as he's free. He'd be able to keep up with your interests more than well, as long as he gets to spend more time with you he'd be down for anything. And in my opinion Jisung is very passionate about the things and the people that he loves, which makes him quite loyal. When you need help or reassurance he'd always be there for you. He might be able to help you loosen up and express your feelings better. That'll happen naturally as he would never push you to say or do something that you don't want to. He'd make sure to let you know that he's by your side no matter what and that you can trust him. Jisung would also have a special way of making you feel confident and good about yourself, he'd always remind you how beautiful and appreciated you are. It will be an easy going relationship, you guys would be the squirrel couple 😁🐿 Also, what I think he'd love the most about you is your cheerful personality and how talkative you are, it'll make him feel secure and accepted in your company, he won't be afraid to be himself with you.

And from iKON I ship you with Hanbin!

Oh boy...how much he would relate to you omg. Be prepared for having long ass deep convos with him every night. Especially when you guys first meet. I can see him approaching you, because he's just nice and I guess you look cute and approachable. So he'd go for it and you guys would warm up pretty quickly. Then you'd probably get lost in a conversation, rapidly switching the subjects, just getting to know each other. He'd realize how much you guys have and common and he'd definitely want to see you again and spend more time with you. Hanbin will develop a soft spot for you. He'd love how nice and bubbly you are not just with him, but with other people too. You guys will take things slow and most likely become friends first, before going any further. He'd want to make sure that you really are comfortable with him and there is some sort of a mutual feeling so that he can make a move. Hanbin will be able to keep up with your life style very well. Just like you he is hardworking, very driven and a perfectionist. He's the one who would understand you best and also give advice and so much support when something that you've been working on doesn't go as planned. He'd be the best at reassuring you that your effort never goes to waste. He'd really admire your passion, but he would also take good care of you and insist on you to catch a break when you need it. Hanbin is one of the most chill and down to earth kpop idols that I can think of, and he's so so sweet and caring. He's always got your back. Whenever you're feeling down he'd shower you with affection and do his best to cheer you up. No doubt he'd give you a lot of compliments and just words of love to make you feel like you're the most important person to him. Hanbin would very much appreciate your honesty and how caring you are to him and in general. He also needs a shoulder to lean on when things are not going well, so he'll be very thankful that you're there for him, trying to help with all you've got. You guys will be able to understand each other quite well and your love and support would be stonger than anything that could possibly stand between you two.

Thank you for requesting! ❤

SHIPS ARE CLOSED!

My main account ➡ @mind666blown

[invisible-voices]

Hair.

In the grand scheme of things, your pretty head of hair isn't really that important. I mean, looking at things like world poverty, our country going to shit, shootings, addicts, or the random homeless person on the corner begging for what scraps of change we have on us to buy something to eat...hair just isn't that important. Compared to the problems either in the world or the very real issues we deal with on an every day basis, hair just should not be that big of a deal.

And there's that word. Should.

"Should" is the word of expectation. "Should" is an aspect of an unreachable aspiring reality. "Should" paves the way to consistent disappointment. "Should" is filled with our wants and not our needs.

I've never really been a vain person. I was an overweight kid and an overweight adult. I was told from childhood onwards by the well-meaning women in my family that I would "be so pretty if I just lost that weight," which I took to mean that as long as I was overweight, I wasn't pretty. I got over this in my mid-twenties, but this was my mindset for the majority of my life. That said, I had few points of vanity. My hair was number one (my boobs another, but that came later). I've always had thick, long, curly, dark chocolate brown hair. It was the one thing about myself that I found absolutely beautiful, and to a girl who thought she "couldn't be pretty until..." this was a big deal. It's been cut to my shoulders twice in my thirty years of life, and I absolutely hated it both times. After the last time, I swore I would never cut it that short ever again and have let it grow down to my ass ever since. I should just get over it. I shouldn't let this still, after all these years, be such a defining trait on my sense of self. Damn, I should have taken better care of it.

Should. Shouldn't. Should have.

I was sick for a year. It wasn't cancer or anything like that. I had gastric bypass surgery at eighteen (a fun suggestion by my mother I now regret), and apparently what stomach I have left got seriously fucked up. Not only did the lining of it get stripped away, making eating painful as shit, but because eating was so hard to get through, I started eating less and less. This caused my little pouch of a stomach to shrink. At the worst point, I could only eat maybe three rolls of sushi and be full all day. If I drank while I ate or ate more than that, I would have this intense pressurized pain in my chest and back that wouldn't go away until I threw up. This led to malnutrition, which led to tons of other things including a massive loss in weight and energy. According to an ER tech (whom I fucking reported), I looked like I had "just walked out of Auschwitz." Again, at the worst point, I could barely walk five steps without passing out. The fact that I was alone all the way in England didn't help either.

During this time, my hair took a back back seat, like end of a rollercoaster back. I just shoved it in a bun and left it. Didn't have the energy to take it down, let alone brush it. It became matted. So matted that now, after trying all the remedies like coconut oil and loc detangler, I have no other option but to cut it. And I've got an appointment at the salon tomorrow. My mind, my inner demons, my invisible voices, are all screaming at me that the last bit of beauty I have left is about to be stripped away. I know it'll grow back. I know it's not forever. I know this way of thinking is irrational as fuck, but I can't stop.

I should be able to. I shouldn't be crying over hair. I should have a more positive outlook.

I'll will be able to. I won't be crying over hair. I will have a more positive outlook.

[rockinem777]

I don't consider it a gift I don't consider it a wonderful surprise or some basic ass lesson I will learn. I was better before I met you. You put me in situations where I didn't have a choice. People didn't take no as an answer. Powerful, greedy, and petty old men who took everything about me and fucking changed me by scaring me for life. You sents so many bad men after me I can't be touched without trying to buck at someone. I don't want to be hugged. I don't want to have sex. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to make it better. I don't want be told that it'll be ok or that I'm loved. Cause I don't fucking feel loved so I can't be loved so I don't want to hear anyone's lies I don't appreciate your awful ways of showing me that I've caught your attention. Im not thankful for getting degraded, abused mentally and physically. Everytime I needed you, you fucking left me. If I started crying you'd walk out the fucking door with nothing said. Not even if you're coming back or when. So many times. I've watched you leave me broken so many times that I'm not going to be able to change my mind. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you. I don't do 2nd chances. & I gave your sorry excuse of love like 10 chances. I hate myself because of you. I don't want to talk to you or spend my days with you. I no longer trust you. I don't trust that you love me or have any good intentions for me either. I don't want to see these stupid yellow cars, or buy your nasty dope I don't want take orders from you or help you out anymore . I'm grossed out and it's gotten under my skin tl the point where I don't even want to get high cause it disgusts me to think that it might be from you. To me is disgaceful to give such a dishonest and sneaky POS such authority. But that's not my business cause I want nothing to do with you. People told me they would hurt you if I wanted them to and of course I've given slme ground rules. Let me know if you catch up and maybe find your common or 2 cents. I probably won't be found by you if I don't want to be. I probably won't be around to listen when you're ready to talk to me and give me the love and affection I more than deserved. But that's dead just like you to me and that's not a threat maybe you should talk more or go out and socialize more cause you cant understand a person's feelings worth a fuck so I really think you don't have half a fucking clue how people really interact it might help you in the long run cause I won't be here to help you anymore. I let you go I split is separately among a few people I know are capable of making the choices we need and stopping us from making poor, miscommunicated, easily regretable decisions in such stressful and high anxiety times. I told them to help guide you and be a good example to keep you on your feet and show you detrimental life skills to keep you going alone forever or without me anymore at least. To give you good reliable opportunities. To be there for you when and if you need it cause I can't do it anymore. We aren't good for eachother we haven't ever really been good for eachother. We don't get along. And you are extremely bad for my mental health all I wanted was reassurance and now I don't want to give you the time of day to make it right cause I don't believe in us anymore. That doesn't mean I want to hurt you or make you miserable or think of you as a nasty bum yet. But understand it when I tell you I will kick you off the fucking ladder if i have to choose between me, youz and someone I love dearly living a happy safe healthy and private life. It cost me $1 to stuff Dan under the rug for saying the wrong shit to the wrong people and save your life today. Yes I'm safe where ever I go and I can see how it may be scary but do yourself a favor and see that no one's gonna hurt me clearly if you'd see it thru me my they all fear me more than dearly and I got you covered on your little clean up you ain't going no where soon ✌️🤟🤞