#i won't deny that those titles aren't usually wrong

[isekyaaa]

I am usually able to ignore a lot of things, but I really do dislike it when isekai manhwa use the term "tamed" in the title, like, "I Tamed the Male Lead" or "I Tamed the Crazy Duke." It just sounds so degrading to me.

[the-lincyclopedia]

This, but also: there are circumstances where I Statements aren't a good idea and/or where demanding that the other person use I Statements is tone policing.

To use a couple examples from my own life: if someone comes to you and says, "You have been gaslighting me for years, first about whether my eating disorder even happened and then about whether you denied it," the correct response is not "That's not an I Statement, and I won't listen to you unless you use I Statements." Sometimes you have to deal with someone confronting you with the facts of your behavior rather than demanding that they only talk about their own feelings.

Also, if the person you're confronting is likely to dismiss you as overly emotional (say, if you're young and femme-presenting and the other person is an older man), that might be a situation where I Statements make you easier to dismiss. "Your behavior is sexist in the following ways, and I will report you to the Title IX coordinator if it continues" is probably a better way to approach your sexist professor than "I feel sad and excluded when you call on all the male students but never me."

I Statements definitely have a place! It's really important to recognize when your subjective experience is the thing that's relevant. I particularly think about I Statements when I'm editing or being edited. Some parts of editing are relatively objective ("this fits the definition of a comma splice," for example), but a lot of things are not ("I feel confused by this sentence" is usually preferable to "this sentence makes no sense," because the author should know that they're confusing their reader, but also, maybe this is a problem with you as a reader).

But I think it's important to figure out whether your subjective experience is what's relevant, or if the objective facts of the situation are more important. If your subjective experience is the important thing, I Statements are great! This is often going to happen in relationships of trust where people are genuinely trying to be good to each other and care about each other’s feelings.

If, on the other hand, you're dealing with someone who doesn't care about your emotions or actively wants you to feel bad, and they're hurting you on purpose or cavalierly, "I feel hurt" is just going to tell them that they're succeeding, and "your actions are wrong and this is my plan for dealing with them" will likely be more effective. And it's certainly not wrong to skip the I Statements in those cases.

i think one of the most misunderstood and misused "therapy speak" things is I Statements.

I Statements aren't just about starting with "I feel...." they are about identifying, specifically, the emotions you're dealing with, and acknowledging your subjective experience instead of making objective claims about the other person that you can't possibly know.

"i feel like you hate me" is not an I statement. "you hate me" is not an emotion. "i feel insecure in our relationship" or "i feel vulnerable," or even "i'd like affirmation," those are I Statements. you can't just slap "i feel" before an accusatory sentence and call it good. you need to actually pay attention to the spirit of the idea too.

[whimsicallyreading]

For Rowaelin Month day 17

 “A sick day”

CW- PTSD, mentions of violence

Aelin considered herself a fortunate person.

She has survived genocide, her family's murders, losing loved ones, slavery, torture, and the Great War. Now she is a queen, a mother, a beloved Mate.

Her life had changed since those bleak days where she'd wondered if she would ever escape captivity—the days when Aelin didn't know if she would ever be free or find love again. Every morning she woke up curled into Rowan's side, and while she drank her morning tea, Aelin could count on her young daughter snuggling into her lap.

Yes, she was swamped most days, but that was normal for a queen. But even the moments between boring meetings brimmed with life and laughter. Rowan's hand on her thigh beneath the table. Fenrys' theatrics when conversation spiraled off-topic. And even the hardened lords thought it was hilarious when their three-year-old princess barged into councils and demanded her mother's attention.

Her family gathered for dinners at the end of every day. Aelin's little family, Fenrys, Emrys, and Malakai were the regular attendees. Aedion, Lysandra, Elide, and Lorcan joined when they were present. It was a time reserved for family only, and it was by far Aelin's favorite part of the day.

Aelin had a good life now. Her family was growing, and her country thrived beneath her rule.

So it always took her by surprise when a bad day came.

She had woken up fine. Delly had slammed open the chamber door with a gust of wind and squirmed herself between her and Rowan in the early morning. Usually, Aelin treasured the moments when her daughter joined them, but being pregnant again had taken a toll on her sleep.

Rowan tried to stop their child before she entirely collapsed onto Aelin but was a moment too slow. Delly flopped onto her mother's chest in a disarray of wrinkled nightgown and golden curls. Soft sobs were sputtering out of the tiny figure.

I'm sorry. Rowan whispered into her thoughts. He knew how hard pregnancy was on her and took his mate's comfort very seriously. It troubled him that their toddling daughter woke Aelin so abruptly.

Aelin blinks the sleep from her eyes and sends him a happy smile to assure him everything is fine.

"What's wrong, Dell?" Aelin soothes a hand up her baby's quaking form.

Adelia sniffles harder, unable to talk through the tears. She'd started to have bad dreams in recent weeks, but never had she been so inconsolable.

Aelin shifts as Adelia's arms tighten uncomfortably around her bump. Rowan sees her discomfort and reaches around to pull Dell to him instead, but it is met with resistance.

"No," Adelia finally wails. "Mama. I want Mama."

Rowan frowns. Adelia was a daddy's girl to the bone, and this was the first time she'd ever refused to go to him. Their daughter squeezes harder and burrows her face into Aelin's torso.

"Dell," Rowan leans next to her and whispers, a cool breeze brushing against her flushed cheek. "What's wrong little love?"

Adelia lifts her head, and Aelin's heart contracts painfully. Her cheeks are red and swollen from the intensity of her crying, little sobs still stumbling from her chest as Rowan settles her down enough to speak.

"Mama was gone. She was hurt, and she couldn't see me." Dell sniffles, her green eyes glassy. "Can you see me, Mama?"

Aelin tugs her daughter in closer, unable to stand the sight of her so sad. "Yes, of course, I can. I'm right here."

"You were in a box. She wouldn't let me see you," Adelia whimpers in a small voice. "She told me she was gonna keep you. I don't want you to go, Mama."

Aelin's face blanches. It wasn't possible. Her little baby couldn't possibly have seen what was coming to her mind. She looks at Rowan, and his face is pinched with worry.

"It's not real, Dell." Rowan uses a thumb to wipe the tears off her cheek.

Adelia flinches. "Uncle Ress told me it was. He told me Mama had got stollen and put into a box by the bad lady and that she should have stayed there."

Aelin's heart stops. Nausea crawls up her throat, and Rowan tugs Adelia away just in time for her to crawl out of bed and gag into a potted plant. The sickness grips Aelin, the shudders in her arms only growing worse with her daughter's mumbled cries.

"Daddy, I want Mama to stay here." Rowan hushes her and murmurs quiet reassurances. "Don't let her get stollen."

Ress had said that? In front of her daughter? Aelin tries to close her eyes against the visions creeping into her mind. The places her scars used to be ache, and her hands pulse with the remembered pain of reconstruction.

The baby in her womb squirms under its mother's stress, and Aelin throws up again.

She should have stayed there.

Cairn brings the hammer down onto her frail knees, the ringing of cracking bone splits the air.

She should have stayed there.

Aelin opens her eyes to endless darkness. Sweet smoke wafts through invisible holes and sends her to sleep- leaving her mind vulnerable to Maeve's manipulations.

She should have stayed there.

More and more memories swarm behind her eyelids until a pair of grounding arms wrap around her shoulders.

"Fireheart, you are home. You are safe. Can you breathe with me?" Rowan sighs loudly behind her shoulder, and Aelin tries to force her own breath out.

Breathing in is harder, but Rowan's scent fills her nose and loosens the binds on her lungs. Soon, Aelin is doing the exercises independently, and Rowan nuzzles his face into her neck. His hands snake under her bump and lift some of the pressure, easing more of her tension.

"There you are," Rowan kisses her cheek as Aelin comes back around. "Are you okay?"

Aelin shakes her head and sinks into his arms. "Can you take me back to bed?"

Her legs feel like jelly, and her stomach is weak from turning. Rowan lifts her with ease. His arms are warm, and he murmurs sweet nothings into her ear as he carries his mate back to their bed.

"Adelia?" Aelin looks around for their daughter.

Rowan pulls back the duvet and reveals the sleepy from nestled right into the middle of the pillows. "She fell back asleep quickly."

"I can't believe Ress told her those things," Aelin can feel a tear slipping down her face. Ress had never forgiven her for her days as Celaena. Darrow had grown to accept her, but Ress never warmed up to having Aelin as his queen despite her efforts.

She hadn't realized the extent his hatred went.

Rowan scowls as he lays Aelin down next to their daughter. "Ress is young and foolish. I have forgiven a lot of his hostility and ignored most of his juvenile antics, but Aelin, I can't forgive this."

"He should never have said those things to Dell." Ress's words linger in her head. She tried to do right by her title and live up to her parent's legacy. Aelin took a lot of pride in listening to the demands of her people and tending to their problems personally. But the odds of Ress being the only one to feel this way are slim. Did they wish she'd never returned? Was she arrogant to take the crown just because it was her inheritance? She'd never had the formal training as ruler and relied a lot on Rowan to help manage foreign affairs. Despite the loss of her fire, many still feared her and considered her a murderer. No matter how hard she tried, Aelin's history as Adarlan's Assassin proceeded her.

Tears burn Aelin's eyes, and Rowan's scowl deepens. "He should have never spoken of you like that at all."

Aelin shakes her head, "It's his right to think what he wants. Maybe he has a point."

"No." Rowan growls, and Dell flinches in her sleep. Taking a deep breath, Rowan softens his voice. "He's wrong, Aelin. Ress was wrong to scare Dell, and he has no right to demean everything you've sacrificed. You've suffered for your people."

"I closed the lock because I had to Rowan," Aelin argues. "That doesn't automatically make me a good queen. What if I'm failing?"

Rowan pulls their duvet up to Aelin's chin, and Dell instinctively snuggles to her mother's side. Her daughter was a leach for warmth, and Aelin could feel her remaining flames writhing in her veins agitated.

"You are a wonderful ruler, Fireheart." Rowan bends down and kisses her lips reverently. "I've met my fair share of emperors, kings, and queens. None of them have given up so much to better the lives of their people. They care for you in return."

Rowan steps away from the bed, and Aelin makes a displeased noise. "Where are you going so early in the morning."

"I'm awake now. I feel like a flight through Oakwald. Go to sleep, and when you wake up, I'll bring my females breakfast," Rowan pulls on a plain white tunic. "Sleep, love. You both need your rest."

Rowan can read her too well. Aelin can feel her eyes drooping despite how much she wants to deny it. "Very well, but there better be tea and pastries."

As Aelin drifts back to sleep, she swears that a mischievous smile passes across her mate's face.

~~~

"Aelin," Maeve twirls a lock of blonde hair in her fingers. "Where are the keys?"

Cairn twists the blade in her thigh again, and Aelin screams, "screw yourself."

Aelin writhes beneath the pain and the dark queen's gaze. Her torturer goes to twist the blade again, but Maeve holds up a hand. "Wait. There is a smarter way to go about this."

"I won't tell you anything," Aelin gasps, the blood seeping from her thigh pools onto the table. "There is nothing you can do."

"Not even to spare the princess?" Maeve smiles as the cell door opens. Connall walks into the room, a squirming girl in his arms.

"Let me go," the girl screams, and the air in the room turns frigid. Her blonde hair whips around as she twists and fights. The little girl's head turns, and she freezes when she catches sight of Aelin. "Mama?"

"Adelia?" Aelin asks, confused. "You can't be here. You aren't supposed to be here." With renewed energy, Aelin thrashes against her bonds and bares her teeth at Maeve.

Maeve takes Adelia from Connall and strokes her hair. "Such a pretty one."

"This isn't real," Aelin hisses. "I wasn't pregnant when you took me. Adelia was born in Terresan."

Maeve hums a sympathetic note, "It seems you're confused." Aelin fights as the dark queen sits with a frozen Adelia in her lap. "Begin again, Cairn."

A hot iron is lain against Aelin's neck, and Adelia's screams rattle the stone chamber.

~~~

Aelin wakes with a gasp. Her chest is seizing in uncontrollable fits, and little hands cup the sides of her face.

"Mama?" Adelia's concerned face hovers over Aelin's. "Why are you crying?"

Relief washes over her at the sight of her daughter, safe and sound. She tries to take deeper breaths, but her body fights against her. The baby in her womb squirms uncomfortably. Aelin feels guilt that they are so subject to her moods. She tries to open her mouth to speak, consol her frightened daughter, but Aelin can't get any words out.

"Daddy!" Dell screams, frightened tears gathering in the corner of her eyes.

Rowan bursts through the door, "Dell?"

Adelia sniffles and kisses Aelin's face sadly, "Daddy, what's wrong with Mama?"

Aelin grabs at her chest, trying to ease the tightness there. She was scaring her daughter. What kind of mother would do that? Rowan sits beside her, and a cool wind goes up her nose and fills her lungs.

"Fireheart," Rowan lifts Adelia and sits beside her. "Is this a sick day?"

It was the code they'd come up with for the days when the past came back to haunt them. When the turmoil in their mind forces their bodies to rebel, and they can't seem to put on their usual facades. It used to shame Aelin, the days she couldn't rise from bed and do her duty. But her mate's unwavering love soon cracked that lie and eased her burden. Rowan had convincing arguments. Aelin's people needed their queen at her best, and on sick days, she wasn't able to give that to them. Their court was strong. They wouldn't allow Terresan to fall while she recovered. Aelin deserved time to heal.

Rowan must have been able to tell that she wouldn't be able to settle herself this time as his winds continued their push and pull in her chest. "Yes," she rasps dejectedly.

Dell buries her face into Rowan's shoulder. Her mate rests a hand on the side of her face and soothes her cheek. "To whatever end, Aelin. We will get through this just as we do everything else."

Rowan kisses the side of Dell's face. "Little love, do you think you can go to the kitchens and have someone bring Mama tea?"

That fae instinct to fuss rears its head in their child. Adelia perks up at the opportunity to do something useful. "Yes!"

Rowan sets her on the floor, and she takes off in a blur of untamed hair and swishing skirts. They wince as a gust of wind slams the doors of their chambers against the wall.

"She's a handful," Rowan talks, aware of the soothing effect his voice has on her. "But we always knew our children would be. I can't wait to see what kind of chaos our son brings into our lives."

Aelin wraps her arms around him as the remnants of her dreams finally fade away. "You think it's a boy?"

"I know so," Rowan pinches her side, and Aelin smiles. He'd also been confident that their first child would be a girl. His smugness after Adelia's birth was unbearable.

"Rowan," Aelin whispers. "Can we just lay here today?"

"I could never deny you anything," Rowan leans against their headboard and kicks off his shoes. "You don't need to ask, Aelin. It's okay to take time for yourself."

"What if I'm just proving Ress right?" The insecurity slips from her lips before she can stop them. "What if there is someone more capable?"

"Ress won't be a problem anymore," Rowan rests a hand against her bump, and the baby withing kicks at it, bringing a smile to his face.

Aelin narrows her eyes, "What have you done?"

"Nothing that anyone will blame me for," Rowan assures. "He would be in a lot more trouble if the rest of the court learned what he said in front of Dell. Ress should be grateful I didn't do a lot worse."

Aelin sighs, "I don't understand why I can't just let it all go. Why do I allow myself to be so haunted?"

"It's not that simple," Rowan shakes his head. "I'm hundreds of years old, and no matter how many years pass, there are things from my past that haven't healed. The mind is different from the body, and sometimes it takes longer for it to recover. There is nothing wrong with that. You gave up everything for the people you loved."

"Because I had to," Aelin contradicts.

A hardness comes over Rowan, "because no one else could."

Rowan rolls over her body into a plank and looks deep into her eyes. "No one else that day would have made the same sacrifices out of love. Not even me. I was too selfish to let you go. You gave up everything, and by the strength in your soul, you came home to me. In all my decades, I have never met someone so remarkable, and I never will again. Take as many years as you need to recover, Aelin. This world owes a debt to you, and I will make sure it pays. You deserve every happiness."

His hand threads through one of hers and drags it up to rest on the bump between them.

Happiness.

Dell darts back into their room, a cup of tea sloshing in her hands as she runs. "Daddy, I put extra sugar in it. Uncle Fen is coming with more cups, but I made this one special."

Rowan pulls away from her, and the laughter on his face is contagious.  

Aelin smiles and accepts the tea from Dell's hands. She even manages a few sips without cringing from the sweetness. Fenrys follows behind her shortly and sets a fresh cup covertly on her bedside table.

There may be hard days, Aelin realizes as her family gathers around her, but the love they showed her every day made it all worth it.

[applepi-1]

They comfort you after a break up

Sugawara x you

Kenma x you

Suna x you

(Picking names was hard, I used a random picker wheel and apparently, my computer loves Tsukishima, Akaashi, and Bokuto a lot.)

Also Kenma's is longer... :)

--

Suga- 820 words

You were at his house in front of his door, sighing lightly before knocking. You could hear his footsteps, you felt stupid and guilty for waking him up at 11. He looked at you softly, only to turn into worry as he noticed your clothes were a bit messy, your cheeks were puffy, and your hair looks like a rat's nest. "Uh, Y/n?"

"Can I stay here tonight...?" Suga opened his door letting you walk in, immediately closing it behind you, grabbing your arms so he could look at you better.

"What's going on?" He quickly stepped to you, "Oh no no no, N/n, don't cry, it'll be okay, I'm here now." He sat you on the couch before sitting next to you, taking you into his arms. He cradled you, as you wrapped your arms around his waist, hugging him as you cried into his chest. He silently held me for a moment before he spoke again. "Y/n, do you want to talk about it? Tell me what happened."

You pulled yourself out of his chest enough to look him in the eyes, "B/n broke it off." Ugh. You don't need him to see you like this. You know that he wouldn't react very well to the breakup. When you had first said yes to B/n when he'd asked you out, Suga had gone to him and told him to take good care of you, and to talk things out if they got rough. Well, B/n left you crying and Suga is not happy to see you like this. You're sure he's thinking about stabbing him multiple times.

His expression went from concerned to shocked to angry to comforting in less than two seconds. "Oh Y/n," he hugged you, holding you tighter. "Did he say why?"

"He just wasn't feeling it anymore, his feelings had gone flat and run out." You cried into his chest, your salty tears staining his Polo shirt. "He wasn't interested in me anymore."

He rubbed your back, comforting you, "Y/n, it's going to be okay, I've got you. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore." He pulled you into his lap as he leaned against the back of the couch. "I know that it hurts, but I promise you I will never let anyone hurt you like this ever again." He kissed the top of your head and you cried harder.

"Sh...Sh...n/n... We should watch a movie." He whispered once you calmed down.

He reached across the couch and grabbing the remote. He typed in a movie title quickly so that you couldn't see. Then it was loading in front of you.

You admired how he was so focused on making you happy. You liked that he paid attention.

But of course, you paid attention to him too. You noticed how his hair is a mess, and how he was wearing a t-shirt, he knew he could always be comfortable around you. You loved the way he carried himself confidently when he walked. You loved when he called you, 'Love', it made you feel a different kind of special than other names. You picked him as your best friend for a reason.

However that may be, you also couldn't help but admire that when he reached for the remote, his arm was very close to you and his lean muscle was hard not to attend brain cells too. He held you tight and you could feel his strong chest, and his toned abdomen embracing you. When you looked into his eyes, you could feel yourself falling in love with their shade and color. When he spoke, his deep voice entranced your thoughts. You couldn't deny that he was attractive.

"Love," he said. "Are you watching the movie?" he asked, running his fingers through your hair, twisting the ends between his first finger and thumb.

You looked up at him, "Sugawara,"

"Yes?" he asked.

"I just wanted to say your name," you said. "I like to say your name."

"I like saying your name too." he smiled.

You looked into his eyes, and he looked right back at yours, he very slowly, leaned in slightly, his eyes starting to close. He lightly pressed his lips to yours, in a very tender kiss. He pulled away, slightly. A blush rising on your cheeks. Your heart fluttered. He smiled and you did too.

You rested your head on his chest once again and thought about what just happened. He kissed you. On the lips. With his lips. They were soft, and they pressed on yours ever so lightly and you wanted that amazing feeling again. The soft gentleness of his love pressed to your skin, your lips. You loved him, he was your best friend.

You looked up at him again, making him look at you. "Suga, what just happened?" You asked.

"I kissed you," he said. Then he thought for a moment, "Yeah, I kissed you."

--

Kenma- 1705 words

"Kenma?" You asked on your phone, your voice wavering. You could just feel the lump/frog in your throat creeping up because, first of all, even though Kenma was your friend, you always got a little bit nervous when you talked to him, once you had developed a crush on him. And second of all, you were on the verge of tears.

"Hey, Y/n. Are you alright? Do you need me to come by your house? Is there anything wrong? Or am I just overreacting?" he said. You could tell that he was obviously worried, just by hearing his tone and his many questions.

"I'm fine. But can you please come over? I need a friend." You stated simply, not revealing too much.

"I'll leave my place in a minute and I'll be over there as soon as possible. Okay?" You nodded in response, forgetting that he couldn't see me at the moment.

"Thank you." Your voice was barely above a whisper now. Kenma wouldn't get off the phone because he kept wanting to make sure that you were alright. "Dude I'm okay. I'm just not sure that you'll be if you keep this call on while running. I need you, though, so please just hang up and come as soon as you can." You had to be the one to hang up, even though it pained you to do so. At the moment, though, it had seemed like it pained him more.

~ Time Skip ~

There was a knock on your door and you knew who it must have been.

You knew that it was too early for your family to be back. You were home alone while everyone else was out at dinner. Somehow, you had convinced your parents to let you stay home, alone. They said that as long as you didn't party and no one, that you didn't trust, came into the house, they'd be fine with it and they'd probably let you do it again.

You got off of your bed, which you had ended up crying in, and started walking down the stairs.

Sweeping your hair out of your face and trying to smooth it out, you went over to the door. You took a deep breath, pulled down both of your sleeves, and put on the best fake smile that you could muster.

As soon as you saw him, you couldn't take your eyes off of him. You didn't even offer to let him in at first. All you did was take in his handsomeness. blond hair with black roots and his golden eyes; wearing his usual, laid-back outfit that you always enjoyed. It was weird to you how one person could help alter your mood, by even just the tiniest bit.

"Aren't you gonna let me in?" he asked, smiling at you, with a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks. He looked down at his phone hoping you didn't see it.

"Oh, sorry!" You apologized, gesturing for him to come into the house and shut the door behind him.

"Hey, I hate to do this to you, but do you mind if I take a look at what's in the kitchen?" he asked. "I had practice and I changed, walked over to my house and that's when you called. Now I'm starving."

"Sure!" You replied with fake cheeriness, going toward the living room. He walked into the kitchen, which had a pretty nice view of the room you were going in. "And I'm sorry. I should have let you stay over at your house." You faked a laugh, which screamed the word 'fake', and that gave your whole charade away. He walked into the living room, where you were about to sit down on the couch. Taking a seat next to you, he turned toward you.

"Y/n, what's with all of the apologizing?" Before you could respond, he added, "If you really wanna apologize, don't feel bad about things like those. Apologize for lying to me."

You knew that he wasn't going to let you lie to him anymore, who were you kidding to be lying to him, so you quit your act and put down your guard. You looked into his eyes and he could see that you were on the verge of breaking so he put his arms up as you crashed into him and wrapped your arms around him, starting to let out your sobs. You cried into his t-shirt and, strangely, he didn't actually seem to mind. He wrapped his arms around you and brought you in even closer to him.

When he started to rub circles with his hands on your back, you started to relax. Nobody had ever made you feel that comfortable before when you were as distraught as you are at the time.

You started to control your breathing and he just kept you enveloped in his arms. He put his chin on top of your head and mumbled, more to himself than to you, "It's okay pudding."

Once you had stabilized your tears and breathing, you looked up and took a quick glance into his eyes. You looked away quickly, though. You were fearing that he was going to judge you or use this moment against you. It's not like he was that type of person, because he really wasn't, but nobody had actually seen you so vulnerable before and you weren't sure how he, nor anyone for that matter, would respond.

"It's okay," he promised. "You can tell me anything and I swear I won't tell anyone unless I think it could help. And I'd tell you first. You do not have to feel embarrassed around me."

You looked back into his eyes and saw how sincere he was being. Just by looking into his eyes, you could see loyalty, sincerity, honesty, and care. You were super grateful to have him as a friend. He's not used to this, Kenma's not used to comforting anyone, or good with his words, so it shocked you a little.

"I, uh, you really wanna know?" You asked. When he nodded, You decided that it was now or never. "B/n broke up with me..." You whispered making Kenma sad. "And you want to know the reason why?" You asked dramatically, but before he could ask you gave him an answer, "It's because I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time now. You know that. And it's been so hard and nobody understands. Every time people find out, they judge me. Or they just tell me to get help. But whenever I try to get help, nobody cares. Even if they do care, they don't understand, though. I hate sounding selfish and bitchy, but I just wish that there was someone who cared and understood, y'know? It's hard enough going through your teenage years, trying to figure out who you are, but then having depression and anxiety on top of it really sucks. And it's a really crappy thing to go through." He just sat there, stunned, so you continued. "I mean, having to deal with me has, probably, always been tough, but it's probably gonna be harder now. Plus, it's like what if I end up using this as my excuse for all my irrational decisions? I would be abusing this disorder, almost as much as it's abusing me. And it's just really hard to deal with. Because even the people who care a lot, and who try to understand what I'm going through, can never really help. I'm not sure if they just don't get it or if they just, honestly, don't actually give a crap. As much as I want them to understand, though, I really couldn't wish any of this upon them because nobody, even the worst of the worst, deserves to go through depression and anxiety. And I just don't really know what to do with all of these pent-up emotions."

By this point, you had let out all of your emotions and tears; that was enough explaining, at least for the time being.

"Y/n, don't ever feel like you have to keep secrets like those from me, okay? I care about you, more than you could ever imagine, and I want you to know that and to be able to open up to me."

"I know you care, Ken." You mumbled, leaning away from him.

You just sat there, gazing into each other's eyes, and he let out a sigh. "Of course I care. You're my best friend, and you have been for a while now. Hell, you're more than that! All I want is for you to feel comfortable around me. I mean, I don't really understand what you're going through and I also don't understand why you're going through it, but I do know that you're such an amazing, gorgeous girl that doesn't deserve any of this bull. I can't even begin to pretend to understand any of this so I'm not going to. I'll try to understand, sure; but I'm not going to act like I do because that'd be a lie. But I really like you and I don't wanna see anyone go through this pain, especially not you."

You had no idea how to respond to that so you just sat there, staring up into his eyes. How do you respond to that...? Kenma- a boy who never said much since you've been friends- just full-on rambled to you. "But what about all my flaws? Do you really want to have to deal with this?"

"You have a hell of a lot more to deal with than I do so I'm not gonna be the one to complain. And I don't care about your flaws. I mean, I do care about them, but I don't hate them. Your flaws are what make you the person you are and the person you are is imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect. As cheesy as that sounds, it's true. Because I have the power to see beyond your flaws and to see who you truly are, and I am going to use that power like I already have. Your flaws just make you even better, in my opinion."

Again, you were speechless.

--

Suna- 662 words

You ran to the gym quickly once you ran all eyes were on you. But all you could do was run to your best friend. Miya Osamu was confused as you immediately wrapped your arms around him. "Y/n?" He didn't have the time to look at you, they were practicing against Karasuno, and any other time you would've cared, Suna walked in with the other Miya twin looking at you in shock, but Suna ran over to you before Atsumu could open his mouth.

"Y/n?" He pulled you away and took in your appearance, you were supposed to be on a date with that guy, B/n. But now looking at you, your shirt was a mess and unbuttoned a little, your cheeks were red and puffy, your lip was busted a little, and your hair... god you were a wreck, he immediately wrapped his arms around you letting you cry into him. "Atsumu, get my jacket." The boy did as told handing it to him, before he wrapped it around you, letting you put the jacket on as he zipped it before pulling you back into his chest. "What happened, N/n?" You held onto him tighter, he sighed and looked at the other members. "Would you tell me if we were alone?" You sighed leaning up to whisper it into his ear.

"It... it was a bet..." He furred his brows at the answer, everyone looked confused as well.

"What do you mean...?" You sighed again tugging his shirt, he got the message and bent down a little.

"It was... a-all a b-bet... to g-get into m-my pa-pants..." You admitted embarrassingly. Suna's eyes widen looking down at you before his blood boiled.

"It was what?!" His voice was low and cold, it literally made you shiver. He didn't want you to repeat yourself, eventually, Sugawara came over rubbing your arm softly.

"What happened, dear?" Sugawara always gave off this mom vibe making you smile a little, but that mom vibe was immediately replaced with scary after you told him the story.

"Where're my knives Daichi?!" Daichi jumped looking at his boyfriend {;) I'm kidding, maybe..}

"Uh... it's that bad?" He looked at you making you nod, saying it was okay to tell him.

"Oh, it's that bad. It was all a bet." Everyone looked at you in shock. Tsukishima even gave you a small smile. You just nuzzled your way into Suna trying to make yourself disappear.

"I'm sorry... S-Suna..." he looked down at you before gently rubbing your arms kissing your head lightly.

"I knew you still had a thing for him, you lying bitch!" You immediately tensed up, Suna looked at the boy over his shoulder. He stopped short in his track as he noticed all the death glares he was receiving.

"What did you just call our manager?" The twins said together looking at the boy with murderous glares.

"Daichi, I need my knives!" That was what made him run, but all the boys followed, all except you two.

"You okay...?" You looked up at him and shook your head.

"Not really..."

"Hm, want to come over and watch a movie...?" He was ignoring what your ex said, making you sigh.

"You don't have to beat around the bush, I get it, you don't like me... so..."

"I-I didn't think much of what he said." You don't really ever see a blushing Suna, so it was a first. "I-I thought he was lying... but, w-who said I didn't like you back?" Your eyes widen a little as he looked away.

"Do you... like me back...?" All the boys stopped at the door hearing your conversation and like Suna would do if this was one of the twins, they filmed it.

"I... I do..." You felt a smile appear on your messed-up face. Suna looked down at you and smiled back. "I-I'll kiss you when your lip isn't busted." You both laughed before hugging your best friend, well now boyfriend.

[bealect]

Gun, Glory, and Sad Ending

If you are a kdrama addict, you would know in what kdrama the title is all about or maybe, it's a familiar phrase you heard to someone. The title itself basically the summarize of the entire concept of a hit South Korean Drama of 2018 - Mr. Sunshine.

I am writing this article after finishing the series, the feeling of pain, and how I cried a bucket of tears - emotions rushes throughout my body. I'll tell you that Mr. Sunshine is most heartwrenching and a satisfying ending for me out of all kdramas I've watched. This is a kdrama that you shouldn't miss.

This is not the first time I cried watching kdramas but this is the first time I felt that it needs to be broadcasted (posted here) - kdramas may be fictional, but you can't deny the fact that it influence you mentally. How you viewed things may differ from one another but it teaches you to understand them in any way you can.

So before it goes south in what I am supposed to talk about (lol), let me introduce to you the main casts, what I love about them, their characters and how it makes me realize many things. I'll try my best not to make a slight mistake. ( NO SPOILER)

• Eugene Choi's character in the story is commendable, serious, and courageous man. He is the epitome of a great and noble man who was born in Joseon, leave in Joseon with a broken heart, then returned to his homeland to fight for what it supposedly for Joseon. He is a man with a heart, action, and dedication to save his homeland that was once abandoned him. This man made me realize that at the end of the day, we go through different routes but one thing remains, the affection we feel towards someone or something. It's just there, always there, it may not be so bloom, and bright right now, but it will, someday.

• Go Ae Shin's character is impactful that it made me think the situation of women during the war of every nations. To wield a sword is a hard task, and a woman. However, she debunk that culture in the story. Who would've thought that a noble woman can kill an enemy, can change the future of Joseon? She protects the people of Joseon especially those people who can't voice their opinions, as she thought that no one in her homeland can protect them against Japanese and Americans but only their fellow citizens. Her character and her story is a reminder for us that women can also lead, women can also be the future of something a country should be proud, women can also do what men can do. Women can be dangerous too, always remember that.

• Gu Dong Mae is a powerful, skillful, and fearless one. He don't want anyone to go on his way. He doesn't hesitate to kill - either a Joseon man, or a Japanese man, a soldier or a highborn man as long as they did something wrong. I didn't know that I will fall in love with Gu Dong Mae's charisma. A coldhearted beast yet a protective man to people he loves. He don't usually shows his emotions, but once you'll see it, it will strike you directly to your heart - happiness, distress, and sufferings. He made realize that no matter how evil a person is, there was once a 'good' heart there. It is just buried deep through time, and it takes also time to burst it out in the chest.

• Hina Kudo's character is an independent woman and a remarkable one, she suffered a lot but she stand without the help of anyone and that's what makes her great. She was born in Japan, but both of her parents are Joseon people. She used her amazing skills in calculating, deducting clues, and even one of the people who are the most trusted by the king. At first sight, she seems coldhearted but never judge her just because of that - in the back of that name, fancy clothes and accessories, there's 'her' that can be a huge help for a great cause. She made me realize that don't allow everyone to spit you in the ground, stand, know your track, and get back on them if the opportunity allows you.

• Kim Hui Seong's character development in the story is a really good one. From a man who always have a flowers in his hand, to a pen, turned into a gun. From a noble family and yet he choose to live independently far from his parents. He suffers from what happened in the past and yet he also show his killer smile to everyone. He's a happy-go-lucky man but he knows where and when to be serious. What I realized from his character is that you may have everything physically but there's always that emptiness mentally. Do what makes you happy and influence others to be filled with happiness also.

Mr. Sunshine has a lot of characters from American Legation, Japanese Legation, the people of Joseon, the Righteous Armys, and their families. Each one of the characters aren't there just to give exposure to the main characters, they are designed to achieve a greater cause in the future of Joseon. Each characters has a story to tell and it makes Mr. Sunshine exquisite and a classic kdrama you should not miss.

~

~ my favorite quotations ~

"The steps we took resembled who we are. The one wrote an article instead of a will. Opium that burned through one's broken body in the amount of the life he had left. The korean flag that was given to a man who was a forever a foreigner. Will our final destination be somewhere between glory and a sad ending?"

- Righteous Army (Joseon)

"It's not that only glorious days become history. We know we'll lose and that we won't last long with these weapons, but we must fight. We'll fight and show them that we were here. And that we were afraid, but we fought to the end."

- Choi Eugene, Go Dong Mae, and Kim Hui Seong

~

Gun, Glory, and Sad Ending is not just a word, not just a phrase, not just about a kdrama. This whole thing is all about the freedom they want to achieve on their homeland. These three are the weapon, the fulfillment, and mostly the ending of every nations that were colonized. (Joseon in Mr. Sunshine)

Gun as weapons to fight for what is yours. A great fight for the future. A weapons that could be the death of your enemy or your death.

Glory as a sense of fulfillment. The fact that you are fighting for your country's liberation means you are a hero. Fulfillment is not about you indulge yourself for something, alone. It's all about the great camaraderie you have with people.

Sad Ending as an ending we ought to be in that kind of story. In a war, there's always the one who wins, and the one who lose. The sad part is hundredths or thousandths of lives are at stake everytime. Either you will die fighting for your own people or you will die in the hands of your enemy without even using the GUN as a weapon and the sense of GLORY you'd bring in the future for your country.