#i won’t get better! but someday I��ll be free

[ryqoshay]

I was tagged by @lonelypond : Answer the questions below before tagging a fairly random number followers you want to get to know better.

I’ve never done one of these before, so what the heck, why not. First time for everything, right?

► Nicknames: In real life, mostly childish variations of my name, used by family and long-term friends. Here on the net, I’ve gained “Grandpa Ryqo” on Sukutomo, which I find amusing as all get out, so I’ve just gone with it.

► Gender: Meh…

► Sign: Not sure, honestly. And I’m too lazy to Google it atm. The only time I remember caring about astrological signs was when a friend got me into playing a modded version of Final Fantasy Tactics. Oh, and rolling my eyes at jokes about Nico being a Cancer.

► Height: A bit taller than average here in the U.S… I think? At least that’s been my observation

► Time: 14:07 CST at the time that I began filling this out… as of posting this, 16:55… I may have gotten distracted a few… oh look, another NicoMaki post!

► Birthday: In the third month of the year, probably

► Favorite Band/Artists: µ’s (They have maintained their top position for quite a while and likely will continue to do so for a while yet), Aqours, Hatsune Miku, Pentatonix, The Pillows, Queen, Benny Goodman, IOSYS, The Three Tenors, OK Go, Gorillaz, Peter Hollens, 2Cellos, The Supremes, The Beatles, Weird Al Yankovic, Lindsey Sterling, Johnny Cash, 403 Forbiddena, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, The Ink Spots, Buddy Holly, … how many pages are you willing to read?

► Song Stuck in My Head: Dancing stars on me (Probably because it was the last song that was playing as I pulled into the garage a while ago)

► Last Movie I Watched: … Is it wrong that I honest don’t remember? My former roommate’s family owned a theater, so I used to keep fairly current. But ever since I moved, I’ve kinda fallen out of the loop. I mean, I watched just the musical numbers of several movies; Love Live (as if that should surprise anyone who might read this), Oliver, Sound of Music, Camelot, The King and I, etc, etc, etc, over the past however long, but I couldn’t even tell you which one of those was most recent. And on writing this, I realize I haven’t seen a movie in the theater since TLJ… Geez, almost halfway through the year and I don’t think I’ve watched a single move from start to finish. I should probably look into fixing that soon.

► Last TV Show I Watched: Shooter (Not sure what episode of the second season, as it was simply where my mom and stepdad had left off. Can’t say I’m entirely sold on the show, but it’s free on Netflix so maybe I’ll watch the first episode someday)

► What Do I Post: NicoMaki (Currently just my own fic and reblogs of pics I like. However, I really should start reblogging some of the other amazing fics out there.), YohaRiko (Again, my own fic and the occasional reblog of pics I like), and more NicoMaki.

I’m not big on getting into politics or religion or the like on the net, so while I may occasionally hit the Like button, I pretty much never reblog; though I might someday make a sideblog for such things. Also, since it seems some people like my writing style, perhaps someday I might start posting some of my other, non-LL stuff.

I actually started this blog posting non-LL stuff (or rather, not-immediately-obvious-LL, or only-LL-if-you-squint stuff) and honestly didn’t expect it to go anywhere. (14 posts with a grand total of 1 Like among them) Heck, even my first two posts for HtHaN didn’t even reach double digits in Notes. But here I am, almost two years later, posting away, and loving it.

Oh, did I mention that I post NicoMaki?

► Do I Get Asks: Yes. Which reminds me, I need to respond to the last few… I have a bad habit of checking my Inbox while I am on break at work and not having time to reply right away, and then forgetting about it when I get home because the notification is gone. (Sorry for delays in responses)

► URL Meaning: Despite my obvious bias towards NicoMaki stuff, and some YohaRiko as well, my screenname, Ryqoshay came from elsewhere. When I first started playing video games, I often named my character (or one of my characters) Ricochet, if they were a ranged character, as a joke referencing a favored sound effect from movies. However, as I entered the world of MMO’s, that name was often already taken, so in the case of City of Heroes, I added -chan to the end and gave her some Japanese ancestry. Also, as part of her bio, it became a nickname granted to an energetic girl who was “always bouncing off the walls.”

Then came City of Villains and once again, Ricochet was taken so I decided to take a different route with the character name by intentionally misspelling it. But, as I fancy myself a writer, I couldn’t leave it at that and had to give her an in-universe reason. And as she was a villain, I was more than happy to take a romp down the well-worn “tragic backstory” road. Thus, her parents finally got names, Yuri and Quentin, and were sacrificed to the deities of drama. After the tragedy, Rico augmented the spelling of her existing nickname to include the first letters of their names. Through my time with CoV, Ryqo gained a mercenary guild as every character I created thereafter became a member, with bios that expanded my new lore.

Things ended up taking a turn for the medieval when what was supposed to be a two paragraph bio for a D&D game turned into dozens of pages and the entire guild being translated over to the new genre. Strangely, it wasn’t even Ryqo that I was going to be playing, rather a member of her guild that had been hired out. This is the story I mentioned earlier that I am still considering posting someday, either here or on AO3, maybe both. Also, more recently, Ryqo found herself translated yet again, into a modern, LL-style world, as an aspiring idol. These are what ended up as the first posts I ever made on this blog, as I had been inspired by an idea that came up on my other digital haunt, Sukutomo.

TL;DR version: Ryqoshay is an intentional misspelling of Ricochet and actually has little to do with my current obsession with NicoMaki and Love Live in general, but I like the name and see little reason to change it now.

► Average Hours of Sleep: You’re going to make me do math…? Hrm… 4 hours there… 6 there… 3 for those nights (days, since I work nights)… I, uhm… dunno. I work nights over the week and shift to a different schedule when I want to spend time with my day-dwelling family or friends. I haven’t had a regular sleep schedule probably since high school.

► Nationality: North American mutt with lineages tracing back to all parts of Europe.

Alright, so I’m supposed to tag a few of my own followers... ... when the heck did I get over 300? Uhm... as this is my first time making one of these, I’m going to take the easy route and stick with names I recognize from the notes on my posts. Let’s go with: @nicoismywaifu​, @nocturnal-one8​, @sayowo​, @kurotheyamineko, @cupcakedesuwa and @thelegend31 for now. I tried tagging spiritpandora and westomaki as I look forward to seeing them show up in the notes of my fics, but Tumblr won’t let me for some reason.

[botrusanimarum]

FT. @stardustxsoul​

⧒

             Plausibility of feeling had not been deemed, not when the whole likelihood of having some other in his home with sole purpose of breeding had belittled self-respect. It is his morals that had averred from such practices, but if he did not acquiesce for it, measures would’ve been taken. Then she came along. Verdant, piercing hues, brunette mane, lustrous... soft feasible. When it started, there was no wife of his to be part of the ceremony, he would saunter outside the room where he was supposed to consummate, to impregnate the young woman... to produce an heir. He is a doctor, high ranked physician at that, he knew the logic of preserving human beings where humanity has been dwindling due to infertility. There foremost of his efforts had not been sufficient, staff in his home had taken notice of the lack of intimacy, of how he had neglected his duties by finding excuses. He cannot postpone consummation, and so, Thaddeus asks for the young fem to be brought to his bedroom, breath weightily as he sits by the side of the room, a desk conveniently placed there, beneath the window he loves so much. Sight outdoors being of a large field, his neighbor is a winemaker, lost his wife, a child, daughter, outlived the tragedy, and presently he is assigned to care for a vermillion haired that is pregnant with his child. It worked for them, he can see that, they are in love. 

Diana walks past threshold of the room, ebony haired man sighs, hands entwined and brought to his face as he tilts onward onto his desk. “Leave us”. Doctor requires every other to depart, the talk he has to have with the possible mother of his child someday, they need to have this chat, right about now, before he takes her, before he ruptures the last whole piece of what remnants of his sanenness. Once alone, he turns gaze onto hers, swallowing lump at his throat before words come out. “I know this is an impose, that this is no better than prison... but much worse, I need to be sincere... I not once thought I’’ll allow this to happen, not to you, or any other female, but it is demanded of me, or else consequences would be...”. It is irrelevant, she knows consequences to be suffered if they don’t find a way to have her heavy with his child. Time is running out. “—I want you to know me... to know I won’t make you do as they want, to keep your voice to yourself... inside this room, you are free to do as you want, read... write, be frank with me... I hope we get to be friends, that even when I have to father your child, you’ll know it was not out of abuse... that he or she will be loved, and you always respected, and I will have you here, no other will ever take you... not even me”.  

[jbuffyangel]

Oh yes. I heard.

So let’s talk about it.

What do I think? Well... I’m not thrilled that’s for sure. 

I am perfectly happy without any version of Laurel on Arrow. I believe the show is better without her, but L*urel is still dead. 

L*urel is the character I had problems with. L*urel is the one I reached a deep level of apathy toward. They aren’t resurrecting her (thanks be to Jesus), so I am grateful for this small bit of silver lining.

Unpopular opinion: I didn’t hate Bl*ck S*ren. 

I’m not going to pretend KC is on my nifty top 50 list of favorite actresses and she probably will never be. I’m diametrically opposed to basically everything she’s ever said about Arrow and the characters. However, I did enjoy her performance as Bl*ck S*ren. Weirdly enough, we were talking about KC at HVFF as we waited in line for food. We discussed how most of the roles we liked her in she played a villain (Melrose Place, Supernatural, etc). I said those are the kinds of roles she should go after. So, if they have to bring her back then I’m glad it’s as Bl*ck S*ren. But let’s keep her as a villain. I’d prefer if they avoided any redemption arcs. Let KC play to her strengths.

Let’s talk “series regular.” That, my friends, is a broad term. 

Technically, KC was a series regular THIS season. How many times have we seen her thus far? Three. Her contract was supposed to include all DC shows. She has yet to show up on The Flash and I think she’s filmed one scene for Legends. John Barrowman is a series regular as well. You don’t have to be in every episode to be considered a series regular. Since Katie is playing a villain I find it highly unlikely she’ll be in every episode. Will we get a handful? You bet. Can I survive it? Sure. I did this year. I may even hold out hope I’ll enjoy BS’s appearances, but time will tell. 

I believe Marc confirmed that D&nah Dr&ke is staying put, which is nice because I really have enjoyed her. Although, I have to agree with those tweeting out images from The Birds. #whereisthelie We are reaching max capacity on versions of Canaries. Maybe there’s a tax deduction they can take. Is there a Canary group rate?

Stephen confirmed Emily isn’t going anywhere (not that we were worried, but still nice to say). 

But... why?

This is where things get muddy. Why are they bringing KC back? Well... I have three ideas.

1. They really like Bl*ck S*ren and have more story to tell.

2. Ratings

3. Behind the scenes shenanigans we don’t know about.

They could be doing this because of the ratings decline. The problem is... we don’t know why someone watches a television show. Nielsen ratings are an archaic system and it sure as hell can’t tell us that. Also, Arrow isn’t the first established show to take a ratings dive. That hardly ruffles the CW network’s feathers, primarily because they have an entirely different business model that focuses more on back end & international sales. As Stephen said, live ratings account for about 5% of Arrow’s overall total value. That’s not a number worth losing sleep over. While Arrow’s live ratings drop is significant, it’s certainly not in the CW’s “danger zone” either. 

One way to look at this is, Arrow is reuniting Olicity and bringing back Katie in some capacity. Each fandom gets something they want. The problem is, I believe we were working our way to an Olicity reunion regardless of ratings. Olicity was going to get back together at the end of the season whether we were at a 1.0 or a 0.3. I don’t think ratings impacted the timing at all. You don’t have to like the journey there, but this was always the season long plan. So, I’m not entirely convinced ratings sent Arrow scrambling after KC either.

But sure... maybe?

As for #3 that means knowing about behind the scenes shenanigans that I don’t know about (and probably never will). Maybe someday there will be an Arrow E! True Hollywood Story. Who knows? Feel free to Nancy Drew this one if you are so inclined.

It would be wonderful if it’s #1 because that means Arrow will be invested in the storyline and they always tell better stories when they are. We’ve seen the mess it leaves when they aren’t invested.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any definite answers for you. It could be any one of the three. None of the three. Some combination of any of the three.

Which leaves me at a big old “meh.” 

I’m not thrilled it emboldens those in the LL fandom who send death threats, make misogynistic comments, message hateful & threatening comments via any social media platform. This teaches them that behavior works. Although, the same can be said for the Olicity reunion emboldening Olicity fans who do the same thing (if there are some). I suppose no fandom is entirely innocent. That said, I’ve already received multiple hateful tweets, so it’s like the good old days again. 

The good news is, these people never impacted my viewing experience before and they won’t now. It’s more or less like a gnat you have to keep swatting away. 

This feels like more same crumbs Arrow always doles out to the LL fandom. I envision BS having as much impact to the plot as she did this year, which was very little. Although, if we get more scenes like this:

I could be a very happy camper.

At the end of the day, the aspects I truly care about on this show (Olicity, Oliver’s hero’s journey, OTA, Felicity & Diggle’s individual arcs, Thea Queen) are moving in the right direction. Well... except for Thea. I need more Thea. So, if the LL fandom can find joy in the eps KC appears in, while watching Olicity have sex, get married and make babies, then I suppose I can deal too.

But please, for the love of Zeus, do not worry even for one second that Bl*ck S*ren will, in any way, be a threat to Felicity’s or Olicity’s storyline. I raised you better than that. 

And for those LL fans who INSIST this means there will be a GA/BC romance once again well... you do you. Sometimes the need to go down with the ship is strong. I’ve offered a life raft now and then, but at the end of the day, you gotta save yourself.

I think there’s a lot to look forward to in these final episodes and Season 6, so this in no way dampers my excitement for the remaining season. Right now, BS is a blip on the radar for me, which is where I’ve been at with any character KC has played on Arrow. So, not all that much has changed. What would be nice is if Arrow achieves with BS what they achieved with D*nah Dr*ke - they write a character I enjoy. Upside? My snark filled LL sections in the reviews can make a glorious comeback with triple the amount of snark, because VILLAIN.

[weekendwarriorblog]

30 Minute Experiment: Another Free-For-All #30ME

Let’s do this. I’m doing another “free-for-all” only because I hadn’t really figured out a good topic for today’s #30ME, and I’m writing this while listening to some Stranglers, having heard that the band’s keyboard player, Dave Greenfield, passed away recently. Honestly, I have no idea what I’m gonna write about, but I have 30 minutes to figure it out, so hopefully it won’t just be a lot of rambling... but no promises!

It’s May 5 as I write this, and it’s hard to believe that we’re getting almost to the two-month point where New York City was shutdown, and I’m not sure if I can honestly say that I’ve been using that time wisely. While I’ve spent 30 minutes each day doing this experiment and some other writing, I certainly haven’t spent as much time cleaning my apartment as I should have, and that’s while boxes of all sorts of dry food have piled up in my non-pantry i.e. a bit of floor space between my stove and refrigerator.

Yeah, I can’t say that my iiving situation isn’t great, and I know that regardless of how much I time cleaning and throwing stuff away (which i’ve done quite a bit of), I know that I would probably have to spend more like eight or nine hours a day to really make much of a mark on the piles of comics, DVDs and books I have accumulated. And that’s even with the number of same that were packed up by my brother along with two helpers about six years ago into boxes, that I haven’t really made much of an effort to go through. So yeah, it’s kind of a mess and I’m not sure how I got back into a similar hoarding problem I had seven years ago before I ended up in Ohio.  

If I were smarter and more focused, I’d start going through those boxes and figure out what to do with everything, but I’m understanding that a lot of places that used to take book and clothes donations aren’t doing so any longer due to the fears of COVID.

Right now I probably should be finishing up this week’s Weekend Warrior, which has turned into a bit of a beast with over a dozen movies being released digitally and me just not having the time or focus to watch all of them. I think I got through about six of the movies that I will write about although one of them has a Friday review embargo, so you’ll just have to follow me on Twitter to hear what I think about it, I guess. 

I’m not sure I’ve fully been able to acclimate myself to this new way of living and I’m still looking for some sort of steady gig, whether it’s writing or doing something else. I somehow got it into my head that I would be a good contact tracer, since I’m really interested in helping with this new essential job that’s necessary in our current pandemic-afflicted earth. I guess I really want to do something to help my city and state, as much as I’ve wanted to volunteer to help the LLS (Leukemia & Lymphoma Society) after my own battle with cancer. Nothing ever came out of that although I had spoken to someone about volunteering.

I find myself in this weird place where I know I need to make changes to my lifestyle, and I’m trying hard but it’s hard to get motivated when i don’t have as many of the releases that helped me deal with things... like movies and concerts.

I don’t want today’s #30Me to turn into a lot of “poor me” whining because I know there are a lot of people going through a much tougher time, whether it’s the front-line workers who are seeing so much death every day or other essential workers who are putting themselves in danger... but there’s also a lot of people who have been isolating and self-quarantining who do a lot of kvetching and complaining, and I certainly don’t want to be one of those.

Sure, I would love to get out and see some of my surrounding things reopen, being fully aware that movies and concerts will be a while, having been denoted to “Phase 4″ by New York’s Governor Cuomo. I mean, fair enough, but I really don’t think movie theaters are that dangerous places if they’re modified to allow social distancing and less contact with others. 

It’s funny because I’ve covered so much of what I’m rambling about in previous #30Mes, but it’s definitely getting frustrated that there doesn’t seem that much forward momentum in terms of my own world and what I need to do in order to survive and maintain some sort of sanity.

If you’ve been reading these for a while, you’ve already heard me praise Tim Burgess’ Tim’s Twitter Listening Parties, which involve listening to an album with a group of others while Tim (singer of The Charlatans) and his guests to discuss the making of the album and various songs with fans, both new and old. It’s really amazing how far these have gotten over the past few weeks as it went from one or two a day to up to six on Sundays, and he not only includes older classics from the ‘80s and ‘90s but also more recent artists, some I’ve never heard before like yesterday’s Foals listening session. I’m discovering so much more music that I love, and it’s putting me into this headspace where I feel like I want to do more with music, whether it’s writing about it or maybe even getting more involved with the making of music. (I’ve always thought I’d be a great A&R person but I’m not even sure how someone gets into that or if there are even that many jobs like that.)

In some ways, it’s kind of a drag that we’ve gotten hit by this debilitating pandemic at a time when I feel that I’m too old to reinvent myself, as I mentioned a few weeks back, but I’m also seeing my interests changing and feel like I need to follow the governor’s advice and try to come out of this a better person. I wonder how many of my friends and colleagues are feeling this way. 

So year, as with many of these “Free for All” #30Mes, I find myself starting to ramble a bit with the thoughts stumbling around my brain, but maybe putting them down in writing is what I need to remind and motivate myself if this keeps going the way it is for the next few months, which we know it will.

I’m not sure people realize how hard I try to be optimistic and thinking positive about the future even as I run into daily issues with my landlord or dealing with the Dept of Labor in an attempt to get some sort of unemployment or pandemic assistance, since I can’t even seem to find a job as an “essential worker.” Believe me, I’ve thought long and hard about doing something more constructive that can earn me a regular wage, but it must seem odd to those hiring for jobs that someone who has written for as long as I have might be willing to do something else, maybe something more menial, just to keep busy and earn some sort of steady paycheck.

Anyway, I’ve probably already shared way too many details about personal life, and I should use my final 9 minutes to start thinking about where I want this 30 Minute Experiment to go over the next month, especially as there seems to be more to write about in terms of movie stuff, and possibly some paid writing work. 

I’ve already asked a few times for suggestions for a topic that can allow me to flex my writing muscles and write about different topics, and I’ve received a few interesting suggestions. I guess we’ll see how long I can keep this going, because I do see it as a way to get my brain going every day as to not lapse into the monotony or lethargy that comes with sitting in my shitty apartment every day. 

At least the weather has started to get nicer and I can go up to my roof to enjoy some air and sunlight without concern for social distancing or having to wear a mask which makes it hard to get a “breath of fresh air.” I hope people understand that I’ve been through much of this before, and it’s frustrating to be back where I was in 2013, where I just had to figure out ways to get through my day and not get bored or depressed. I really have no idea how others are doing it, but I have very few friends who are going through this alone as I am.

So yeah, this has been a particularly reflexive and rambling edition of #30Me, so I better think up a couple better topics to get me through the rest of the week, especially if I’m going to keep doing this for some time, as I would like to.

So again, if you have any ideas for topics or feedback, feel free to reach out since I’m not sure how many people are reading these or what they think.

I’m gonna cheat and end today’s #30Me a few minutes early, since I want to use this momentum to work on a few other projects, but I hope everyone is doing well, and we can someday look back at this period as one that was necessary to help us all become better people.