#i won a national book review competition once by just shitting on it entirely

[messrsrarchives]

fandom has made me develop empathy in a way my 14 year old self would gape at because i can't write a goodreads review that even hints towards negativity without being like :(( that's mean :((

meanwhile my 14 year old self was writing book reviews for the local library like "the plot was bad, the characters were bad, this was horrendous, half a star would not recommend" and nodding when i went there to see them up. like yeah. fuck that author man, i'm right.

[closetofanxiety]

Show Review: Constitution State Wrestling

Last night,  I went down to beautiful Groton, Conn. (”The Nuclear Submarine Capital of the World”) with Mark, Mike, and Joel to see a show put on by an indie promotion that was totally new to us. It was, in many ways, a prototypical Local Indie Experience. Let’s count the ways:

National Anthem

This, in many ways, is the earliest and most significant sign that you’re attending a Local Indie as opposed to a National (For Lack of a Better Term) Indie (the national anthem might be played before a Shindie, too, but that’s another subject entirely). Local indies always make everyone stand up for the national anthem, national indies do not. The local indie maintains, at least in vestigial form, a connection to the idea that this is a sporting event, and sporting events begin with the anthem. In this case, the anthem was a pre-recorded instrumental track, but people clapped after it was over anyway.

Public Venue

Unlike a National Indie, which will be in a bar or a rock club or a private fraternal organization’s event hall or a Catholic church with an absurdly Catholic name (New York City national indies only), the Local Indie show will take place in a high school gym or a town hall or a rec center or some other building they can get with a discounted rental fee because of political connections. In this case: Ella T. Grasso Technical High School, a magnificent example of 1970s brutalist school architecture. It was an air-conditioned gym, though, which you wouldn’t expect on the Connecticut shoreline, so kudos to the Constitution State Wrestling folks for that choice.

Advertising and Local Celebs

It’s not a Local Indie without a program, and this show had a program listing the entire card, providing some detail on the two main events (there can be only one main event in reality but whatever) and listing all the local sponsors of the show. As a bonus, there were also signs leading to the venue that just said “Wrestling” with an arrow pointing vaguely in the direction of the school. I cherish these signs of Local Indiedom! There was also a woman from a rock radio station on hand, whose duties were limited to introducing herself and then, later, introducing the women’s match. It’s not a Local Indie without an appearance from a random local celeb: TV meteorologists, disc jockeys, mayors, and others are all perfectly acceptable. 

At Least One Wrestler Who’s in the Military

In our case, that was “The Soldier of God” Ronnie Ribbs, which is absolutely one of the best Local Indie names I’ve ever heard in my life. Ronnie Ribbs! “Soldier of God” is a little weird, though. Kind of a Taliban vibe there. Also, since that’s a lot of verbiage to put on your ring gear, that meant Ronnie Ribbs had the acronym “SOG” on the seat of his red, white, and blue trunks which, if you didn’t know what it stood for, could be a little embarrassing. Anyway, he was introduced as a soldier in the U.S. Army, always good for a patriotism pop at a Local Indie. Groton, though, is a Navy town, and when Ribbs was rolled up by opponent “Sensational” Scott Levesque with help from cheating heel manager “High Class” Rich Bass, a guy behind me said, “Just one more reason the Army sucks at everything.” 

Event Name That is Not a Cool Pop Culture Reference

Constitution State actually fell down on the job here, as this event did not appear to have a name at all. But a key distinction between a Local Indie and a National Indie is that the latter will usually go with some impenetrable hip pop culture reference (or, worse, just use numbers for each show, like they’re the UFC), whereas local indies are still committed to calling things, like, “Final Showdown” and “Summer Smash Up” and “Brattleboro Brawl” (Brattleboro local indies only) and, of course, “SEASON’S BEATINGS.” 

Random Ex-WWE/F Guy

In this case, that role was filled by Gangrel, who really should be getting some of the indie wrestling nerd attention being lavished on PCO. Gangrel is a blast to see live; he gets insanely into it, and takes bumps that are ridiculously bad ideas for a man of his age. He was in the main event here, and the crowd was pretty exhausted by the time it started, but he got them right back into what was really kind of a straightforward brawl with southern New England bad guy Trigga the OG, accompanied, of course, by evil schemer “High Class” Rich Bass, who I’ve never seen before. The crowd was NUTS for Gangrel. When he won, the pop was huge, although it was slightly disappointing that only Joel chanted “Fang and bang! Fang and bang!” Gangrel loved that though. He pointed to Joel and did the throat-cross-into-the-hook-’em-horns thing. 

Local Wrestling Academy Students’ Match

Often, this is a battle royal, but thank God that was not the case here. Instead, we saw Matt Taven trainees Joey Bones and Todd Harris, the latter working a “rich prick from Newport” gimmick. Both guys were decent, show real promise, and, notably, had really good gear. Invest in yourselves, aspiring wrestlers! You’ll stand out from the pack. 

A Comedy Match That Isn’t Funny

I like comedy wrestling. I know lots of people don’t, but that’s why they make different kinds of ice cream. However, there’s a Chuck Taylor/Orange Cassidy comedy match, and then there’s a Local Indie comedy match, which is basically like a Three Stooges short mixed with some inexplicable Attitude Era flourishes. In this case, it was the awesomely-named Necromancer (short, stout guy with Papa Shango face paint and no apparent ability to speak to the dead) vs. 2Buff w/ The Buffdad, a legitimate father and son duo whose gimmick is that they are not, in fact, buff, but that they constantly do that thing where they put their hands behind their heads and swivel their hips, kind of like a Chippendale dancer would do on an episode of “Designing Women.” Laughs were notably absent, at least from the four of us. Mercifully, this match was broken up by James Ellsworth, who was booked as a random ex-WWE guy but is now, once again, an actual WWE guy. What must he have thought, staring out at the 250 or so people in a high school gym, knowing that in three nights he’ll be facing Asuka on live national television in front of maybe 12,000 people. Anyway, Ellsworth issued an open challenge, and another classic Local Indie thing happened: some loud music hit, and a guy walked out to answer the challenge, but instead of the “Oh shit you gonna get it NOW” reaction from the crowd, there was puzzlement, as no one knew who the challenger was. It didn’t help that he looked like just A Dude in red basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. Later we would learn that he is Wildman Kongo and he would go on to have a bad match with James Ellsworth in front of a tired crowd.

Excitable Fans

Hot crowd, especially before the intermission! At the start of the lone tag team bout, which pitted Brutal Bob Evans and “Tough Tim” against two guys called Riot City’s Most Wanted who looked like indie wrestlers circa 2003, one young fan became so enraged at the heels that he jumped the rail, the first time I think I’ve ever seen that at a show. He was about 11, though, and his friends quickly pulled him back over, so we were spared the sight of Brutal Bob having to PROTECT THE BUSINESS by breaking a child’s jaw. Local indie fixture the Fogman was also there. He’s not really excitable, necessarily, but he’s a fan. We talked to him during intermission and, I mean, he’s an OK guy. He’s his own biggest fan, but what’s so bad about a little self-confidence?

A “Ladies’ Match”

Never a women’s match or just “a match,” on a Local Indie it’s always a LADEEEEES MATCH, the segregation compounded here by having the radio station woman do the only thing she did all night by announcing the competitors, Isana and Jawsolyn. The regular ring announcer was a rockabilly guy, complete with Rev. Horton Heat necktie and suede shoes. He was fine. Isana is a big lass but mobile and specializes in suplays, while Jawsolyn’s gimmick is that she is a shark. That should have gone over better in a coastal town, but people were mostly politely indifferent to this match which, in fairness, was slow and clunky. 

One National Indie-Caliber Match

Increasingly, the people who promote and book Local Indies are fans of national indie wrestling, or Japanese wrestling, or British wrestling, or what have you. In this, their tastes diverge from those of their fanbase, which mostly consists of normal, blue collar Americans who just want a fun night out instead of weirdos arguing about BOLA lineups on Reddit all night or people who will slash your tires if you so much as say a disparaging word against Kenneth Omega. To try to satisfy their own creative longings, the promoters and bookers usually put one match on the card that could be on the card of a PWG show or Beyond show or AAW show or whatever. This is normally received by the Local Indie crowd with the same quiet endurance 205 Live is received by WWE crowds, but tonight was an exception. Matt Cross and JT Dunn, meeting for only the second time ever, had a tear-down-the-house 20-minute match that had the good blue collar people of America’s Nuclear Submarine Heartland going absolutely nuts and bananas. This was, indeed, a great match, one of the best I’ve seen all year: neither guy worked heel, but both of them wrestled as though they were actually trying to win an athletic competition, which is rarer than it should be in pro wrestling. Dunn dominated the first half of the match by keeping Cross on the ground and softening him up with wear-down holds to try and create openings for hard strikes. In the second half, Cross was finally able to take to the air, and made his spectacular offense seem credible and devastating. There were, by my count, three “This is awesome” chants, a “Both these guys” chant, and a “Fight forever” chant. People LOVED this match. YOU SEE, VINCE? PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE WRESTLING WHEN ok I’m not going to start with that. But it was nice to see a normal American wrestling crowd go nuts for a match that would not be out of place in Reseda or wherever the hell PWG shows are now. 

[goingallthewayy]

Review of my 2016 Goals

(AKA holy shit is it 2017 already?!)

1. Get my concealed carry.

Damnit, still didn’t do that. Still want to, too.

2. Train for and compete in another triathlon- more than one would be good, too!

Well that didn’t turn out how I’d hoped. I still want this to happen in 2017, too. Darn ACL. Happened not even a month after I wrote this, and I was doing GREAT on my fitness goals, too.

3. Go backpacking and explore new parts of Colorado.

I didn’t get to backpack (ACL) BUT I explored some great new trails and campsites in 2016. Here’s to a few more in 2017!

4. Catch a fish! Just because.

YES! I still want to do this too. But did not accomplish in 2016.

5. Climb at least one 14er that I’ve never done before! Hopefully more than one.

Did this! Democrat and Cameron! Yas.

6. Travel someplace new! hopefully a new country or two, but even a few new places in the US would be great.

I visited the Grand Canyon! So that was awesome! But no new countries or states. Still... the Grand Canyon. I give myself a B- on this one.

7. Foster another 3 dogs. More would be even better but I’m afraid it will make it hard to travel and explore this summer.

I fostered even more than that! Geez I thought I had set this goal to be like ten dogs or something. I fostered Chase once I recovered from my ACL a little bit, then I helped out with Leo and Summer, then I fostered Truman (best dog EVER), then I helped with Felix, and finally I fostered the two puppies- Nova and the other one whose name I forget right now. Smashed this goal right out of the water!

8. Take meaningful steps towards a future career. Take the GRE, apply to grad school, work jobs other than waitressing!

I took the GRE, I applied to grad school, I didn’t go even though I got in AND paid for a class (dumbass) and I got an awesome internship where I’ve figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life! Hell yeah!

9. When my lease is up in October, I hope to move to a new state, hopefully for a new job or for grad school. Preparation starts now! We’ll see where this goes. This is pretty tentative since I love my current apartment and my roommate, but have been craving change in my life. Change is in the air- I’m excited to see where things go.

I didn’t move to a new state, I got an amazing internship at Denver Animal Shelter that kept me here in Colorado. BUT I did move into the city and now i have a HOUSE and not just an apartment that I’m renting. <3

10. Go skiing at least a few times this spring. I’ve finally got all the equipment, I bought a pass to go up for a weekend with my dad and test it all out, it’s time to get up and enjoy something I used to love! Even if it means sitting it traffic for a little while. Maybe I’ll even air BNB by myself up there! :)

Yeah this didn’t work out quite how I planned, either. ACL. But I did go up twice last year before the whole thing happened!

11. Write more. Looking back through my text entries is so meaningful to me, and it really allows me to see how much I’ve grown and changed. I need to try to write more often. It helps me to stay organized and focused.

Ahhh I wish I did this. I wrote through my pains with surgery and living with my folks again. But I haven’t written nearly enough. I just got too busy. I’m going to retry this goal, too.

12. Figure out a birth control solution that works for me so I can have safer sex. Taking a pill everyday is not my deal, clearly.

Fuck. Did not happen. I stopped sleeping around though, so that helped.

13. I need to spend less time on social media. I need a plan to try to break me of my addiction. It’s bad.

Yeah, didn’t do a great job of getting off of social media, either. I have a Facebook addiction, and the fact that my career revolves around it does not help. I should come up with a great solution for this as well.

14. I need to read more and paint more. I got through the Harry Potter books and that’s pretty much it in 2015. I need to read! And I only painted a couple of times. What’s up with that? I just spent a week in New Mexico studying Georgia o'keefe. Time to get crackin on some painting.

I read some great books in 2016! I got super into audiobooks for awhile, which could totally happen again when I start working out again. I should list the books I read but I did NOT keep track-this year I set a goal to read 25 books and Goodreads is keeping track of it for me.

Worth noting- I almost always have to include resolutions about my relationships; meaning family, friends, and romance. This year I’m not doing that.

I’m proud of myself for that last year, and I’m going to keep it to a minimum again this year. <3

What a wild year 2016 was. It’s just amazing to me looking back- part of me feels like the beginning of this year was SO LONG AGO and an entire epic has happened since then; part of me feels like “how the heck did I think I’d have time to accomplish all this shit it flew by so fast oh my god.” It was an adventure from (practically) rock-bottom (I still reserve rock-bottom to spring 2014) to some of the best times of my life. Like seriously, THE BEST. Just what an adventure.

January was beautiful and filled me with this feeling of hope for the new year; I started working out and was starting to look really good until

February I went on an amazing hike with Charley (best friend at the time) and decided to quit my serving job since I had a bunch (okay, possibly an exaggeration) of money saved up. So I quit. And exactly a week later, I tore my ACL in Snowmass skiing with my dad.

March I had to return to my parents house with Finn and had surgery March 8. It was HARD. One of the hardest things. I did a lot of reading, applying for jobs, and dicking around on the playstation. I also played plants vs. zombies constantly. I was on good drugs.

April I was still at my parents’ house going to physical therapy and taking walks when it was nice. I took the GRE and planned for my future.

May I took a trip to the Grand Canyon with my best friend Charley. It was a great trip; we saw all kinds of beautiful places. We hiked up to Hanging Lake, camped near Arches and saw Delicate Arch, and then drove down to the Grand Canyon. It SNOWED while we were camping there, but it was absolutely magical. It snowed our whole way back, too, so we booked it home instead of taking our time. We still spent the night with my Auntie Joni and Uncle Pete, which was really nice. I also fostered Chase during the month of May and started my new job at Perry’s with Charley. I also started the Outpaws Tails and Trails Hike Competition, which Finn and I competed in all summer. We would have won if I had kept better records, too. ;)

June I worked at Perry’s and met my future boyfriend, Leo. I went on an awesome camping trip by myself to Red Feather Lakes in the Roosevelt National Forest. I also was FIRED from a job for the first time- Perry’s fired me for insubordination, which was a bummer because (1) it was untrue. the thing they said I did, I did not do. (2) Leo and Charley worked there, and it sucked to no longer work with them. BUT it really was 100% for the best- Perry’s paid people in a super sketchy way, I didn’t like my coworkers or my boss, there was a constant feeling of discontent there. And it pushed me to apply for my current job, which is my dream job. Plus the day I got fired, Leo took me to his brother’s house and I met Jocelyn, who is now one of my closest friends.

July I went to a Keith Urban concert with Charley, which was fun. I also visited Ashleen in Tennessee, which was SO FUN! We did so many awesome things together. I also went camping again up at Red Feather! I also watched several dogs but didn’t get my next foster until

August! I fostered sweet Truman, the best good dog. We also took an amazing camping trip to Leadville, where Leo and I seriously bonded and adventured together. It was really fun. I also started my new job hostessing at La Sandia.

September I interviewed for my Denver Animal Shelter position and got it! I went on several gorgeous hikes. Our Tails and Trails competition ended, but we won some great prizes and figured out that Finn and I hiked over 300 miles during summer 2016. Very cool!

October feels like a stressball dream. I started a new job at Denver Animal Shelter, started living with my boyfriend, and moved in to a new house. I didn’t get to do any of the fun fall stuff I wanted to, but it’s all okay- I accomplished some cool things that month.

November I dove into my jobs. We took a family trip to Montrose where I bonded with dad over a 5k and got to see my grandparents and my second cousins. I worked an average of like 60 hours a week! It was crazy. I also helped out with a foster named Felix this month and then fostered two baby puppies because Leo kept telling me he wanted a puppy. Needless to say, now he doesn’t want a puppy.

December I kept working my two jobs! We went on a few hikes, but no new adventures. I spent a little bit of time with my family, but it is still hard to be around them when Lindsey is home. I have been reaching out to her and her lack of interest in seeing me makes it feel like she really doesn’t have any interest in being my friend. It is just so weird- I don’t know what happened that caused her to just stop valuing our friendship. But that’s a post for another day. I also celebrated a dual Christmas with Leo’s family. Mexicans celebrate Christmas at 12:00 AM- who knew? It was really fun though; I love his family. Kendall also moved back to Colorado, so I’ve gotten to see her more often. I feel like I did something else really fun and I just can’t remember... I’ll think of it eventually.

I’m going to sit down and set my goals for 2017 tomorrow, I just needed some time to reflect on these goals from 2016. There’s a lot that that I didn’t accomplish, but then again... there’s a lot that I did! These goals were well thought-out and reviewing them makes me feel like even though I can EASILY say 2016 saw some of my biggest personal struggles, but it was still an year of amazing accomplishments and taking charge of my own happiness. 2014 was the year I learned that I was responsible for my own happiness, 2015 saw me figuring out what made me happy, 2016 saw me taking charge of it. I love it.

New Years Resolution 2017 to follow. <3