#i wish there was a way to reach out to the older anons.. i hope ur all doing well

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (30/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: The Leclerc family dinner is something else.

Warnings: this is just cute, mentions of injuries (due to Monopoly), alcohol consumption, Arthur Leclerc

Word Count: 3.8k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: happy birthday to the lovely anon from yesterday! this is not smutty, but I hope you'll still like it! feedback is appreciated!

When Charles brings the rickety Renault to a halt and pulls the handbrake, you can hardly believe your eyes.

The car is parked in front of a large, white house that is surrounded by green ivy on one corner. The black roof perfectly matches the black shutters leaning against the wall of the house, giving you a glimpse of the interior. Above the double doors of the entrance is a small balcony with a black metal fence and small flower boxes in which beautiful, colorful flowers are sure to bloom in summer.

It looks like a painting.

You stare open-mouthed through the windshield. "It's gorgeous."

Your friend smiles. "My mother had it renovated last year. The façade was crumbling a bit and the windows were no longer in good shape." He shrugs his shoulders. "But otherwise it's stayed the same. I grew up here."

You can hardly take your eyes off it as you get out of the car. "It's beautiful. It must have been great growing up here."

"It was." He rounds the hood and stands next to you. "Unfortunately, I was always on the road because of karting and the older I got, the less time I spent here. But this house holds so many memories." He exhales deeply. "This is my home."

You turn your head in his direction before reaching for his hand and squeezing it. "Thank you for taking me with you."

Charles smiles gently at you and pulls you a little closer so that you can feel his warm breath on your face. "Don't get too excited. You haven't met my brothers yet."

You tilt your head a little. "Are they that bad?"

"The worst," he whispers and leans forward a little. His gaze flickers briefly from your eyes to your lips. Your heart leaps a little. "But I'm the worst."

"Shouldn't I stay away from you then?" you ask him. He's so close to you that you have to tilt your head back to look at him. "Good girls should keep their distance from bad boys, shouldn't they?"

Charles releases his hand from yours and gently places it on your neck, leaving you no choice but to look at him. His other arm wraps around your waist and he pulls you all the way against him. Chest to chest, he looks down at you before licking his lips. You can feel the arousal pooling in your panties. "Are you a good girl, mon amour?"

As one of the front doors opens, he disengages from you with a smooth movement, as if nothing had ever happened and as if it wasn't running through your mind how you would have loved to get down on your knees for him right there. As he walks towards the house, you can see his back muscles dancing under his shirt. How you wish you could scratch him with your fingernails and -

"Maman. It's so good to see you," he greets his mother, who kisses him left and right on the cheek, snapping you out of your super non-platonic daydream. Which maybe isn't the worst thing, Charles is your friend after all.

"Yes yes, it's nice to see you too," she replies, before pushing past him and coming towards you. "Chérie, I'm so glad you're here!" The woman hugs you tightly before also kissing you left and right.

"It's nice to see you again too, Pascale," you smile. "Thank you so much for inviting me. The house is gorgeous."

"Thank you, chérie," she replies and reaches for your hands. "Come on, come on. Let me show you the house." Before you can say anything back, she pulls you towards the house, past Charles and through the door. "Charles! Your brothers will be here soon. You can set the table," she calls to him over her shoulder.

"Of course, Maman," he replies and when you look back at him, he rolls his eyes in mock annoyance.

"And please take the good china! We want to make a good impression."

"Of course, Maman." Charles, who has followed you into the house, closes the front door behind him.

The inside of the house looks like it's from another world. Large, white tiles adorn the floor, the furniture is kept simple, but still looks luxurious and so expensive that you'd be worried about scratching the surfaces with your car keys if you put them down. The lower floor is open plan, with a large kitchen with a kitchen island, a glass dining table and the living room. There's a soft-looking sofa in front of the fireplace, where you can definitely warm up on cold days. There are countless pictures on the walls - a mixture of art and personal photos.

"Would you like something to drink, chérie?" asks Pascale as you stop in the kitchen and she lets go of your hand. She opens the fridge and starts rummaging around in it. "We have water, orange juice, spritz, wine and cola."

"I don't need anything, thank you," you reply with a smile. You're a little overwhelmed that she's being so nice to you. You're not used to parents being so sweet and kind. Yours certainly weren't when you lived with them.

"All right, then. If you need anything, just take it. Make yourself at home." She squeezes your shoulder briefly before scurrying past you. "Charles! The table!"

"I'm on it," his voice comes from another corner of the room before he steps back into your field of vision. He is holding expensive-looking tableware in his hands, which he carefully spreads out on various coasters on the glass table. "Could you please take the cutlery from the top drawer there? There must be six of us. Enzo wanted to bring his wife Charlotte."

You take the cutlery from the drawer and count it off before joining him at the table and distributing the items. "I'm a bit nervous," you confess quietly. As you place a fork next to one of the plates, Charles grabs your hand.

"We can leave if that's too much for you," he suggests. " I'm sorry. My brothers aren't that bad. They're nice and funny and I think you'll get along fine." He strokes the inside of his wrist lovingly with his thumb. "You really don't need to worry. But if you want to leave, I can understand that."

You shake your head slightly. "It's all good. Your mother cooked dinner especially for me and it would be rude to leave now." You chew the inside of your cheek. "I just want to make a good impression."

Charles takes the rest of the cutlery from your hand before interlacing his fingers with yours. "You really don't have to worry about that, mon amour. She already loves you."

You raise an eyebrow in confusion. "And how do you know that? Did she tell you that?"

"She didn't need to," he replies with a smile. "When I introduced her to Annika back then, she reacted differently. No kisses, no dinner to get to know each other better. And she definitely didn't ask her to feel at home here," he explains, placing his free hand on your cheek. "She has good intuition and the fact that she took you to her heart within minutes just shows me that I made a good catch with you."

"Excuse me! There are children here!" a male voice shouts across the room. You would have liked to take three steps back to put some distance between you and Charles, but he keeps you in place.

"I don't see any children," replies the man in front of you, glancing over your head towards the kitchen. When you turn around, a young man is standing there, grinning and leaning against the kitchen island. "All I see is an annoying little brother who doesn't know when to hold back."

Playfully hurt, the stranger puts his hand on his chest. "Ouch. I'm not the one who can't seem to just pull through ." Before you can say anything back, he takes the few steps towards you and stops in front of Charles. The two stare at each other for a moment before a wide smile spreads across the shorter man's face. "Good to see you, big brother."

Charles releases his hand from yours so that he can embrace his baby brother. "You too." With a smile, he hugs him before gently pushing him away. He turns to you. "This is my little brother Arthur."

"It's nice to meet you," he replies and - in true Pascale style - gives you a little kiss on each cheek before winking at you. "Maman has already told me about you, but she didn't tell me how beautiful you are."

"'Keep your hands off, Arthur,' your roommate warns his brother, but he just waves it off.

"Don't worry, Charles. I'm not here to take your girlfriend away." You raise your hand and open your mouth to correct him, but he turns on his heel and walks back towards the fridge. "I'm here because I was promised good food. And maybe a game of Monopoly?" He waggles his eyebrows in anticipation.

Charles shakes his head vigorously. "Absolutely not. Last time Enzo nearly lost a finger because you thought he was cheating the bank."

Arthur rolls his eyes. "The whole thing would be unfunny without a bit of violence." His gaze shifts from his big brother to you. "What about you? Do you like Monopoly?"

"Monopoly? Maybe we should look for the first aid kit first," laughs the young woman who has just joined you. With her long blonde hair and wide, pearly-white smile, she looks so beautiful that it almost takes your breath away. Without giving the guys in the room a glance, she walks straight up to you and hugs you tightly. "Hi, I'm Charlotte. Enzo's wife." She gives you a quick hug before pulling away from you. "I like your top."

You introduce yourself to her as well before thanking her for the compliment. "Is Monopoly really that crazy in this family?" you ask quietly, watching Charles and Arthur tease each other in the kitchen.

"When it comes to winning, the men behave like animals," she explains, putting her slender arm around your shoulder. "That's why it's all the better that you're here now. Maybe they're acting a bit more grown-up this time then."

"Everyone here is an adult," another person defends themselves. The black-haired man tries to get Arthur out of Charles' headlock. "My little brothers might be a bit wild, but we're all old enough to behave reasonably." As he separates the two bickering men, he stands between them with his arms outstretched.

Arthur points his finger at the eldest of the three brothers. "You once knocked over the whole board because you had no more money to pay Charles."

Charles briefly runs his fingers through his tousled hair to get it into style. "And you once kicked us out of your apartment because you didn't have a hotel to take out a mortgage."

Before you know it, Enzo grabs his little brothers and tucks them under his arms, but Charles is quicker. With an elegant twist, he wriggles out of his brother's tight grip and twists his arm a little so that he can't get hold of him again, while Arthur tries with all his might to free himself.

"I told you," Charlotte whispers to you. "Like animals."

"Are you out of your minds?" Pascale's voice drowns out the boys, who abruptly move away from each other and blink at their mother. Arthur's face is red, while Enzo tugs his shirt right. Charles throws you a grin and a wink. "I'm cooking for everyone here and you're acting like children! Come on now! You know what you have to do!" she nags her sons, who quietly apologize to her and then scurry back and forth to put the rest of the things on the table.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" you ask the young woman next to you, but before she can answer you, Pascale is standing in front of you.

"Please take a seat. You're our special guest today and if I even see you lift a finger…" She gives you a stern, loving look before pulling one of the chairs from the table. With a nod, she tells you to sit down. Her look leaves no room for discussion.

"Would you like a glass of wine? I've brought a lovely sweet Riesling," Charlotte asks as she takes two wine glasses from one of the cupboards in the kitchen.

"Yes, please."

As she sets your glass down in front of you, the men also sit down at the table while Pascale places various bowls in front of you. When Charles tries to sit on the chair opposite you, his mother promptly stops him.

"The chair is broken, chéri. I'm afraid you'll have to use that stool there," she says, pointing to the small stool in the corner of the room.

Without hesitation, Charles swaps the pieces of furniture, but when he sits down, he grimaces. "My goodness, that's uncomfortable. It's sure to give me a backache."

"Maybe your lovely girlfriend can give you a back massage later," Arthur suggests, wiggling his eyebrows. Before he can react, your friend has reached into one of the bowls in front of you and thrown a piece of bread at his little brother. "Ouch, what the hell? I didn't say anything! It only becomes ambiguous when you make it ambiguous."

"Boys, pull yourselves together, otherwise it'll be the last time I invite you all here for dinner," Pascale scolds her sons, but you can tell she's not serious. She sits down at the table in front of them. "Now eat before the food gets cold."

-

"How did you two meet?" asks Enzo, popping a spoonful of vanilla ice cream into his mouth.

The pasta that Pascale cooked especially for you tasted absolutely fantastic. While you ate together, you talked about all sorts of things. About Enzo's work, Charlotte's recent seminar, new recipes that Pascale really wants to try out and your photography. At the beginning you were worried that you wouldn't be able to join in as you didn't know anyone from this family, but there was never a moment when you felt left out. It feels nice to be part of a family again - even if it's not your own.

Charles, who stretches his back briefly, looks at you across the table. "That's a funny story. Would you like to tell it?"

As all eyes turn to you, you have to swallow. You weren't expecting the attention. But Charles looks at you so gently and his smile is so warm. He makes you feel like you're not in the wrong place.

"He surprised me when I came out of the shower half-naked," you grin back. All you hear from the corner where Arthur is sitting is a whistle.

"Hey, that's not quite true," your roommate defends himself. "You were living in my second apartment without me knowing! Joris rented you the apartment and didn't tell me. And when I turned up there, you came out of the shower. It's not my fault." He raises his hands. "And you wanted to beat me up with a magazine!"

You reach for your wine glass and take a sip. "You were a stranger who suddenly appeared in my apartment. How else could I have reacted? You were so close to calling the police."

"You were standing half-naked in my apartment. It could have been that you were a crazy fan and somehow found out the address."

Charlotte looks up from her bowl of ice cream at you. "Didn't you know who he was?" As you shake your head, she claps her hands several times in delight. "Oh how cute! Just like in the fanfictions you can read on the internet! That's awesome!"

Her husband gives her a puzzled look. "You read fanfictions about my brother?"

Charlotte rolls her eyes. "Are you crazy? Of course not! But every now and then I just hear about it."

"And you've just decided to share the apartment," says Arthur as he scrapes two more scoops of ice cream out of the ice cream container.

"Yep. Just like that," Charles explains, and you smile gratefully at him. You're glad you don't have to explain that you're unemployed. Especially since everyone at this table is pursuing promising careers. Your friend smiles back affectionately before arching his back. "And it would also be the best decision I've ever made if I didn't have to sit on this stupid stool all evening. My spine feels like pebbles."

"Don't be like that," his mother grumbles at him. "You're still young. Your back pain can't be that bad."

"Arthur is younger than me. Shouldn't he be sitting in this chair then?" Charles tries to get out of it, but he falls silent when Pascale gives him a dirty look.

"But I don't have a girlfriend who can rub my back later," grins the youngest Leclerc. "I'm sure she won't mind."

"Arthur!" Pascale reprimands him. Her gaze shifts to you. "I'm so sorry. I thought I'd brought her up better." She puts her head in her hands.

"Oh, Maman." Charles gets up from his uncomfortable stool and you can tell by the way he looks that his back is actually hurting. He stands behind his mother and puts his hands on her shoulders. "We know you did your best. And we actually turned out well." He can barely suppress his grin. "Except for Arthur."

"Hey!" Arthur jumps up from his chair so quickly that you fear he's going to fall over backwards, but Charlotte just manages to catch it. Arthur chases his big brother around the room while Enzo stacks up the ice cream bowls to take them to the kitchen.

"Wait, I'll help you," you offer, reaching for the cutlery that has been left behind, but Pascale's hand on yours stops you in your tracks.

"If you lift a finger, the same thing will happen to it as with Enzo's fingers at Monopoly," she threatens lovingly and gets up to clear away the rest of the things herself.

You look at Charlotte uncertainly and she waves you off. "Don't worry about it. She doesn't mean any harm. She just wants you to feel comfortable here and make sure you have everything you need. You'll get used to it over time."

"Thank you," you reply with a smile. "I think if you weren't so nice to me, I'd be really scared of you."

The blonde has to laugh. "Unfortunately, I hear that a lot. But I know what it's like to be new to this family. It can be quite nerve-wracking and overwhelming. But they're all lovely people. You don't need to worry about that." She puts her hand on yours briefly before rising and joining her husband in the kitchen.

A short time later, you feel two large hands on your shoulders. "Are you all right?" Charles asks as you lean your head back to look at him. "My family didn't scare you off, did they? Or are you sick of it and don't want anything to do with me anymore?"

"A terrible family," you reply and feel his thumbs rubbing gentle circles into your skin. You feel warm.

"I can understand," he nods and leans down towards you so that the tips of your noses touch. "So that's the last time we'll see everyone. I definitely prefer your company to that of the others."

You have to stifle a giggle. "You're only saying that because you're hoping to get a back massage from me as soon as we get home." Your mouth goes dry at the thought of running your hands over his muscular back and feeling the soft skin under your fingertips.

"You're right about that," he admits. "Shall we go? I've had to share you with my family long enough."

"You want to leave already?" asks Pascale, who has rejoined you at the table. You didn't even realize she was back until she started talking.

"Yes, maman. My back really hurts and we have a lot to do tomorrow," he apologizes. It's news to you that you have plans. But maybe it's just an excuse so that you can be alone again more quickly. And you definitely have no objections to that.

Friends, sure.

"All right." She puts her hands on her hips. "But I'll expect you both back here at Christmas. I'll prepare your old room so you can spend the night here." Her smile is warm and heartfelt. As you get up from your chair to say goodbye to her, she wraps you tightly in her arms. "It's so nice that you're part of our family now. I'm already looking forward to having you back here at Christmas. It's only a few more days until then."

"Thank you for your invitation." You return her hug. "I haven't felt like part of a family for a long time."

Apparently she sees something in your gaze, something sad, because she has to swallow before she starts speaking again. "We've been through a lot as a family - and I think you have too. You're always welcome here. No matter what happens. Even if you need someone to be there for you in the middle of the night. The doors of this house are always open to you." She blinks away a few tears and you briefly consider hugging her again.

Which you finally do. "Your family is wonderful. You've raised three great sons. If your husband was anywhere near as kind-hearted as they turned out to be, then he must have been the most lovable person in the world," you whisper to her.

"He would have loved you. I'm sure of it." As she breaks away from you, she wipes her eyes once. "Thank you for looking after my son. There's no denying how good you are for him."

As if on cue, Charles stands next to you and puts his arm around your waist to pull you close. You feel his body heat, the pressure of his fingers on your skin.

After this morning, you had been unsure whether you would ever be so close again despite the misstep, or whether you would keep your distance because the situation would be awkward for people who are actually just friends. But Charles' smile is genuine, his gaze gentle and his lips soft as he presses them lovingly to your forehead.

"She's the absolute best thing that could have happened to me."

[nanamiscocksleeve]

18 with Geto 🙏

-🎃

Pumpkin anon! I love it when I see my regular anons coming in. Hope you're liking everything so far! This is one of my favorite kinks/tropes. Suguru is around 28-ish here and reader is 18.

Age Gap

--------

You were the shy bride brought to him in hopes of forging an alliance. Sorcerers needed all the allies they can get. You had heard stories about him which sounded more like myths; of his powers, and the terrible goals he wished to achieve.

Which is why when you first met him you couldn't believe how normal he looked. Just an ordinary, albeit handsome, man. Nearly 10 years older than you. Just seeing him brought a blush on your face and you hopeed he was pleased with you.

The wedding happened without a glitch and soon you were in his bedroom, watching him lock the door. You felt very aware of your movements and nervousness kept making your stomach do flips. You'd had one lover before him and your experience was lackluster, carrying none of the passion or romance most young girls had hoped for.

Suguru removes his outer robes and hangs them over the back of a chair before sitting down on the bed and beckoning you to join him. You hesitate, then oblige, the mattress sinking under your weight, your body actely aware of the way his thigh brushed against yours. He reaches out to pull you against him and your heart hammers in your chest.

"You keep acting like something will crawl out from under the bed and eat you," he observes and you blush, shaking your head.

"Are you nervous about your first time? Are you a virgin?" Your eyes meet his keen brown ones and the truth comes tumbling out.

"No but I know what happens."

"Is it making you worry?"

"No, but I know it isn't anything special." His eyebrows raise at your comment.

"Not special?"

"Not at all. Our bodies join. Some movement happens. You release your seed and it's all over."

"My sweet wife." Suguru captures your chin in between his fingers and makes you look at him. The endearment causes your body to tingle. "Is that all you think happens?"

"I know that's all that happens. I've experienced it before."

"What sort of idiot did you waste your virginity on that you are so unenthused by the idea of sex?"

His question stuns you into silence before you mumble, "He was my classmate."

"Ah. Same age as you?" He doesn't let go of your chin. "Let me correct this impression. Your classmate is a young, inexperienced, pathetic little boy. Do you understand I'm different than that?" His thumb strokes your jaw. "I am not like your little classmate. I'm a man, your husband. I know exactly how to treat a delectable little thing like yourself. I know how to touch you."

His large hand rests on your waist, drawing patterns into your skin, making your breath catch. "I know how to kiss you." His lips move confidently, capturing yours in a passionate kiss that has your head reeling. "I know how to pleasure you and make you forget everything around you except for me. I know how to make love to you so intensely that you'll never remember what it was like before me."

His hands undress you sensually, taking his time to sip and sample every inch of you, your ear, your collarbone, your pert nipples, hardening under the soft lick of his tongue.

You moan, feeling the blood in your veins humming as he lays you back on the bed to pay attention to your drenched cunt.

"Look at that. Already so wet for me. Were you like this with your classmate?"

You shake your head no, unable to form words, aroused and feeling your clit throb with each passing second. He licks your folds, savoring the taste before finding your swollen bud and lapping at it, then running the tip of his tongue in figure 8 movements over it.

A mewl leaves you as your hips arch towards him, body quivering in ecstasy as the orgasm crashes in your being, fisting the sheets as you fall apart on his tongue.

Suguru doesn't waste a second and gently moves your legs apart, his tip probing your entrance until he surges forward, you feel your core splitting apart to accommodate him. His cock gives you the most delicious stretch and sits snugly inside you. You're weak from the pleasure of it all, unable to believe you had been blind to the pleasure of this act.

His hips thrust against yours as he moves inside and you whine your pleasure as he sets up a rhythm.

"I'm all there is. Only me. I'll fulfill all your desires. Just trust me hmm?" He nips your ear as he ruts into you. "The experience of an older man is just what you needed. Now show me how good you feel."

You throaw your head back, noises of pleasure escaping your throat before Suguru pulls you back towards him, his lips covering yours.

"Mine. My precious little doll."

His words echo sweetly in your ears as he gives all of himself to you, spilling his seed into your quivering walls.

[becomingmina]

hey would you be able to write a felix x fem reader angst? when felix falls out of love with her.

“ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT HATE?" anon request w/ LEE FELIX.

pairing: felix x female reader genre + warnings: angst, reader cries wc: 1.9k mina's note: tmi - my ex fell out of love with me so this hits home a little. we meet when we were 12 and we broke up when we were 21. anyways, i hope you guys like this :)) and to the cuties anon who requested this, thank you very much!! sorry for making you wait, im just like felix i have no reason!

other works here ; any comments and thoughts you can drop them here ; ty for reading.

“I asked you a question baby,” you say from across the kitchen island. Felix was occupied on his phone, sitting on the stool on the other side of the counter.

“I gave you an answer Y/N,” he huffs after a few seconds, not lifting his head from the device.

“Yeah, but not verbally though,” you make your way over to him.

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’re grown enough to figure it out, Y/N,” he replies back, rolling his eyes up from his screen for a second before continuing with scrolling.

“You’re really fine with them being blue?” You questioned again, hugging him from behind, your chin resting on his shoulder.

“They’re just cupcakes, they’ll get eaten anyways. I don’t understand what’s the big problem with the colour of the icing,” he says irritated.

It was Chan’s turn to host dinner for your friend group. You and Felix usually bring over homemade cupcakes for dessert. It was a ritual to spend every last Saturday of the month together in the kitchen baking and decorating two dozen cupcakes. And usually, it was Felix who would have a hard time choosing the colour for the icing but today it seems he just wanted to get the cupcakes over and done with.

“Okay,” you replied defeated, feeling a little hurt at his tone. “Did you wanna help me?” You softly asked, sniffing his shoulder to take in his sweet scent.

“I’m busy,” Felix sighed.

“Okay, I’ll iced them then,” you moved yourself away Felix, walking back to your original position in the kitchen.

Lately you feel like Felix hasn’t been his clingy needy self. He would stick onto you like glue every second of the day but recently he’s been distant. You can’t pinpoint when exactly it became like this, but you were sure it’s been a couple of weeks by now. He’s been telling you that work has been busy for him, and you understand how it can affect him, but you still feel a little bit downhearted when he visually shows his annoyance with you.

After finished up with the icing and getting yourself ready, you sat in living room with the box of cupcakes on your lap patiently waiting for Felix. He had locked himself in the office, saying he needed to go over his feedback for some report for work.

“Hey, how’d it go?” You ask when you hear the office door open, but he ignores your question as he searches for his car keys. You expected it didn't go well.

The car ride to Chan’s was silent as you figured you should probably give him some space. He looks over to your side a couple of times noticing your quietness, but he doesn’t strike conversation with you, only making a few little comments about how bad traffic was. You brushed off his lack of initiative making excuses for him that he was just tired from work.

“He surprised me the other day! He’s going to rent out my favourite art gallery for our wedding reception,” Hana and Hyunjin was giving the group details their upcoming wedding at dinner. They were so cheerful talking about it and although you loved it for them, you couldn’t help envy it and wished for you and Felix to reach that stage in life shortly.

“Who’s next? Felix? Y/N?” Chan teased with a raised brow, and you goofily smile at the older man. You turned your head to Felix to see his reaction, but his head is tilted down and his face was straight. Chan notices the tension and quickly changes subject hoping no one else catch on. It caught you by surprise that he wasn’t as responsive as you were to Chan’s joke. It got you second guessing if it was even work that’s been making him like this.

You spend the rest of the night with the other girlfriends. As they spoke about their recent dates with their partner, all you could do was be happy for them concealing the fact that you and Felix hadn’t been on one in ages. You keep glancing over at Felix throughout the night but he showed you no attention. Usually you would catch him staring at you and blowing kisses and winks at you, but tonight there was nothing.

The car ride home was the same as the car ride there - quiet.

Felix walked in your apartment first, you followed behind him closely. As you put your bag on the entry way table you tripped over a pair of shoes accidentally falling forward on Felix in the process.

“Y/N watch yourself!” Felix yells, clearly annoyed.

“Sorry,” you softly say as you got up. “I just tripped,” you defend yourself, feeling tears start to form in your eyes at his tone.

“God can you look where you’re going?!” he groans turning around to face you. He was red mad. He had never got this angry at you before for tripping over.

“Did I do something wrong to you Felix?” You asked softly, feeling something heavy in your chest. You needed an answer to why he’s been treating you differently, it’s obvious now that it wasn’t because of work. “Last couple of weeks you have just been distant towards me and I’m a little hurt by it,” you say cracking your voice in the process, pulling a string on Felix’s heart. He frowns at your reaction.

You watch him sigh, hesitating little bit before he answers “You know work is hectic-”

“-Is it?” You questioned in an offended tone, dumbfounded that he used the same excuse again - work. “Work is hectic that you have to yell at me because I accidentally tripped on your shoes? Work’s been hectic that you can’t even smile at me in front of our friends? Work’s been hectic that you can’t even answer a simple question about the colour of the icing on the cupcakes that use to mean so much to you?!”

You didn’t expect to have an outburst like this. Felix doesn’t reply, he just takes a deep breath watching you as you continue to lash out at him.

“You don’t ask if I’m okay anymore. You don’t hug me anymore. Because of work?” You chuckle, sarcastically.

“Y/N-” he takes a step closer to you.

“-You’ve leave for work early in the morning and come back home late on the days I’m at home-”

“I-” he tried to speak again.

“And when it’s the weekend you lock yourself in the office all day. You avoid spending time with me, you avoid talking to me.” Your face was red, brows furrowed as you keep your tears from falling.

“Y/N, let me talk-”

“What did I do to-” You cut him off again.

“I’m not inlove you anymore!” Your heart drops at his words. The tears you tried to conceal instantly rolls down your cheeks and you take in a sharp breath. “This relationship is draining me.” He adds, breaking you even more.

You didn’t expect this. He’s been so mean to you lately all because he wasn’t in love you anymore? It doesn’t make sense to you that all of this was done because he fell out of love. You refuse to believe it.

“Are you sure it’s not hate?” You sniffled, pulling another string from Felix’s heart. "Are you sure it's not because you hate me?" you repeat yourself when he doesn't answer, feeling a bit anxious that it might be true, that he actually hates you.

“Never.” Felix replied rapidly this time, his tone a lot more softer now. “I could never hate you Y/N." Felix continues to conceals his emotions, not letting anything pass you.

“But you’ve been acting like you do.” You wiped your tears with the back of your hand, your eyes wavering to seek any reaction from him.

“I just needed space Y/N.”

“I gave you space. So much space,” you retorted.

“I think we should..” he stops before he says the last words, letting you piece the puzzle by yourself.

“You want to leave me?” You question and he flicks his eyes away from yours. You got your answer.

He lets out a heavy breath, running his fingers through his blonde hair, his eyes falling back on yours. “It’s for the best Y/N.”

“No, I don’t understand. Where I go wrong, Lix?.” you reached out to grip his forearm as the tears continued down your face, dripping to the floor.

“I don’t want to be here with you anymore,” he says softly, trying to loosen himself from your hold but you latch onto him tighter as you shake your head no.

“That’s not a reason Lix. Tell me where I went wrong,” You needed answers. He owe it to you. “You were the one who chased me, remember? You made me fall in love with you. It’s been 4 years and you want to leave me? Why?” You asked, in a complete mess.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “I’m sorry Y/N,” Felix apologies.

“Tell me why?”

“I can’t-”

“Then stay.” If he didn’t have an answer then he shouldn’t leave you, it’s unfair.

Y/N,” he says firmly.

“Just for one night,” you say, taking in a deep breath. “You can leave when I fall asleep,” you surrendered, eyes wavering waiting for his answer. “Please,” you beg.

“Y/N.. Baby I can’t,” it was the first time he called you that in a while and your heart breaks once more. He stopped calling you that and started calling you by name for months now. How is it that you never noticed until now.

“I’ll let you go when I fall asleep.. Please..Just love me one last time, Felix.”

Felix contemplated. He stared at you. Your glossy eyes. Your runny nose. Your red cheeks. He watches your chest rises up and down as you tried to control yourself. He hates seeing you cry, he hates seeing you hurt. It breaks him. He gives in. “Okay.”

He has you on pulled up flushed on him on your shared bed, your legs tangled with his. Your face pressed again his chest as one of his hand is wrapped around your waist and the other traces nothings up and down your back. Your tears haven’t stop, they fall effortlessly out of your eyes on his shirt. You stay quiet. You want to talk. You have so many questions to ask. So many things you want to know. But you stay quiet because you know Felix won’t answer you. So instead you stare into nothing as you replay back your happiest memories with Felix. You can’t help the small smile that is pulled on your face as you remember everything, every detail of everyday with him.

You tried you best to stay awake but you feel your eye lids closing. You don’t want to give in to sleep because you know by the time you wake up, he’ll be gone. But you’re exhausted, both your body and mind.

Felix stares up at the ceiling. He’s guilty. He owes you a reason, he owes you answers but he keeps quiet. He replays back memories but he doesn’t have the same reaction as you. He doesn’t smile. He cries instead. Tears run down his face as you recalls the soft and sweet memories with you. How could he do this to you? How could he make you fall in love with him then walk out like this? How could he say he was no longer in love with you?

Felix doesn’t hear your sniffles anymore. He feels your breathing evens out with his body. You had fallen asleep in his arms.

Felix presses a kiss to your temple, his arm still holding your waist tightly.

“I’m sorry.”

[fallingdownhell]

Hello hello hello there, good writer! I was wondering if you'd be open to writing platonic HCs for the currently playable Archons in the game. Basically, way back when during the Archon War (or in Nahida's case, some point early on when she was instated as Sumeru's new Archon) the Archon's save a baby dragon's (the reader) life.Now, centuries later, at some point following the events of the Archon quests, they encounter Dragon!reader reader- now a fully-matured dragon (Dragon is the same element as each Archon. Individually, I mean, they aren't multi-elemental). The Archon recognizes them through any number of factors (a scar in a very particular area of Dragon!Reader's body, a discolored patch of scales, etc.) And as for how they encounter each other, maybe the Archon is accompanying the Traveler on a commission, and dragon!reader saves the Traveler or Archon's ass when the situation gets dicey, maybe the Archon senses a familiar presence and investigates, perhaps paths cross and they find themselves saving (or assisting) dragon!reader yet again, or maybe it's just a chance case of the stars aligning in just the right way. Apologies for the massive word dump, just thought I'd give you some prompts in case you have trouble coming up with ideas for this, if you want to do it, or course!

That is such a cool idea! And I really appreciate the word dump, it really helped me out a great deal this time around, so thank you, kind anon<3

Characters Included: Zhongli; Venti; Nahida

Content: gender neutral! dragon! reader; platonic headcanons;

Word count: 2,2k words

I hope this comes somewhat close to what you had in mind. Hope you enjoy<3

Zhongli

Zhongli often looks back fondly at the times where he had adopted this strange baby dragon

the Archon War was a though time period, both for him and the people at his side, but having that baby to take care of by his side and teaching it all sorts of things made it somewhat bearable for him

he would often play around with it, sometimes even play fighting to show it a few moves and tricks and the dragon seemed to enjoy that a whole lot

though cuddling sessions always seemed to be the dragons favourite, especially when a certain spot under his chin was being scratched

it was a difficult spot for others to reach, seeing as it was surrounded by brown spikes, indicating your resonance with the Geo element, but seeing the happy expression on the baby's face made it worth it in the end

When the dragon later got older and grew up in Zhongli's care, it would often join him in various battles while the War still lasted

On one such battles, the dragon got hurt pretty badly in it's left eye, ultimately loosing it in the process. But it adjusted rather well to living with only half it's eyesight

Later, when the Archon war ended and peace had returned to Liyue, the dragon was all grown up now as well. And one day, without any prior indication, the dragon had just left, never to return again

Zhongli wasn't sad or anything. He understood that this is simply how nature works and he only wished the best unto his foster child

Sometimes, the Ex-Archon wonders if that dragon is still alive, but those thoughts always leave him rather quickly again. It's no use pondering about the unknown

And yet, imagine the surprise on Zhongli's face when he saw another dragon roam the sky just as he finished dealing with Azhdaha alongside the Traveller

Finding an opportunity to slip away from the group, he began traveling in the direction he saw the flying creature

it took some time, but he eventually found the dragon as it rested besides a small lake, soaking in the rays of sunshine onto it's scaled skin

fascinated by it, since dragons were a rare sight to see in this day and age, he decided to approach the creature, silently as to not startle it too much

as he got closer to the dragon, the creature soon picked up a new scent in the area and opened it's big eye, now spotting the approaching Zhongli

quickly, the creature got up and began roaring at him, and that's when Zhongli noticed a particular scar on the left eye of the dragon

Could it be... was it actually you?

Your name slipped past his lips and it made you hold in the middle of your actions. Zhongli could see the uncertainty in the dragons form, so he said your name again, staying still in his spot, only a few steps away

the dragon, still unsure, took another sniff of the surrounding air, taking in the scent of the new arrival, and suddenly, memories from its time as a baby came flooding into his mind, and you recognized the man in front of you

now seeming much calmer, you got closer to Zhongli, your long neck extending towards him so that your head was right in front of him

with a smile, the Ex-Archon extends his hand as well to scratch that certain spot under your chin, like he had always done many, many years ago

at this, the dragon closed its eye and a low grumbling sound could be heard deep within it's throat.

Zhongli almost couldn't believe it. His old friend was still alive and apparently doing pretty well for itself..

for some time, the two of them just sat down in the grass, enjoying the light of the still shining sun, while Zhongli just began talking, telling you of all the things that had happened while you were gone

And you were listening to every single one of his words, feeling happy to finally be reunited with him again..

Venti

Most people know about Dvalin - or Stormterror - and his connection to the anemo Archon. How he was one of the four winds that protected the nation of Mondstadt

but what the people did not know, is that there was a second dragon with the anemo Archon that had been taken in by him when it was only a small baby

as a result, the baby dragon has been raised both by Dvalin and the anemo Archon at the same time. While it learned typical dragon behaviour from Dvalin, Venti provided the baby other lessons important for its life ahead

the little dragon has always been a playful and adventurous one. It was getting into trouble quite frequently as a child, but such was the nature of freedom

Venti had always adored looking at this little dragon baby as he found the light green colour of your scales to be quite mesmerizing. He liked to think that the colour represented your connection with the Anemo element, and himself.

But what he found even more adorable was the little patch of white scales, right between the beginning of your legs and your hind legs. It was about the size of the palm of his hand, the colour never really coming through on that spot

While Venti and Dvalin engaged in the Archon war, you always decided to stay behind, rather enjoying the serenity that the nation of Mondstadt brought to you than to engage with bloody battles all the time

As time went on, you grew older and older, and Dvalin knew that the time would come where you would leave them behind. To find your own place within this world, without them by your side

and sure enough, one seemingly peaceful day, you went up to them one last time, seemingly telling your goodbyes with your eyes before you turned your back to them and flew off into the distant world ahead of you. Excited to see what was liying ahead, but also sad you had to leave them behind

many, many years have passed since that fateful day and a lot has happened since then. A mysterious traveller has appeared in the world of Teyvat, helping Venti to bring his old friend Dvalin back to his senses

Since that incident, Venti couldn't help but think back to the old times quite often, reminiscing of the memories all three of them shared. He would often wonder how you were doing these days, if you were well off..

on one such days, when he was laying beneath the tree at Windrise, thinking of old times, he did not notice a bunch of Abyss mages and their underlings approaching

when he did, it was already too late and he was surrounded by enemies. Though he tried fighting his way out, the number of enemies just seemed to increase, instead of decreasing

Venti began to worry and just as he was about to summon his old friend Dvalin for some help, a roar echoed from above the sky. All heads turned up as a huge creature descended downwards, instantly attacking the abyss mages and their hoards

for a second, the colourful scales made him think of a certain dragon, but he quickly shook off that feeling, concentrating on the battle at hand

it didn't take long until the enemies were dealt with, and as a moment of peace came to them, Venti turned and took in the familiar colour of light green scaling..

But.. that couldn't be, right? It surely was just a coincidence.. another dragon that just happened to have a similar colour to the one he once raised..

But, as the dragon remained on the ground, patiently looking at Venti, he couldn't shake off that feeling of familiarity

And then, the dragon turned to its side, showing Venti the undeniable truth of a missmatched patch of white scales among a sea of green..

It really was you...

Joy spread over Venti's face as he realized it really was his old friend that had come back to see him again

It didn't take long until he was on your back and you began ascending towards the sky again. Up there in the sky, with only the winds holding you back, Venti also summoned Dvalin to him to complete this reunion

Many roars sounded all throughout Mondstadt on this day as there were now two dragons roaming the skies of this nation...

Nahida

As the god of Dendro, Nahida had always liked the nature and all of its inhabitants

she would always try to sneek away to find a spot somewhere within the rainforest where she could just sit down and listen to the sounds of nature all around her

while the sages at that time did not approve of her behaviour, she continued to do so with the excuse of wanting to form a connection between her and her nation as well as it's people

one day while she was out again, she stumbled upon a tiny dragon baby. As she got closer, she noticed that the baby appeared to be hurt quite badly, yet it still backed up when she got closer, scared of her

it took some time and gentle reassuring from Nahida's side, but eventually, the small dragon let her get close, inspecting the wounds inflicted to it

deciding that she wanted to take care of it, she used her powers to build a sort of little hideout where she nurtured the dragon back to health over the course of a few weeks

while doing so, the baby dragon began trusting her more and more, until eventually, they formed a kind of bond between them

once the baby was all healed up, it didn't dissapear like Nahida thought it would. Instead, it decided to stay with her, playing around and growing up with her

every single time Nahida managed to slip out, the two of them were always together. Either laying in the grass, listening to the nature around them, or playing around and sometimes, she even helped the little dragon in learning how to fly

when they got tired, they lay together on the ground, the dragon having it's head on Nahida's lap as she carefully caressed the top of its head where the beatiful, deep green scales where less sharp than everywhere else on its body. The colour reminded her of the rainforest itself sometimes..

but what she found almost a bit more beautiful were those missmatched eyes of the dragon. One in a beautiful, piercing blue colour while the other was deep red, a stark contrast between the two

But then came the day where Nahida was whisked away by the Sages and sealed into the Sanctuary

it took hundreds of years until the traveller arrived in Sumeru and with the help of some others finally freeed Nahida of her everlasting prison

Thankful to have finally escaped, she did her best to handle everything by herself the best she could. She guided her nation into a new direction and took care of everything that the Sages had taken over

which led to her not once having left the city since she has been freeed. Though Nahida yearned to just go outside and sit in the nature again, she had obligations to take care of, that required her urgent attention

until the Traveller came around another time, insisting on her taking a break for once. In his words, all those problems would still be there once she returned from the break, but her well being was important as well, especially for her people she needed to be in good shape

so, taking him up on the offer, the Traveller, Nahida and Paimon went into the rainforest like she wanted to. While wandering around, they passed the old hideout Nahida had once built for that baby dragon

Memories flooded her mind upon seeing it and she smiled a bit, though it appeared to be a bit sad. The Traveller noticed, but before he could ask Nahida about it, they heard some rustling behind them

Weapon at the ready, the Traveller was prepared to attack should the need arise

And then, from behind some trees, a dragon emerged, eyes fixed onto them

and Nahida instantly recognized you. Not because of the deep green colour of your scales that only seemed to have become even more beautiful over the years. But because of those disscoloured eyes that she was never able to forget

you seemed to recognize her as well, showing no signs of aggression at all, which made the Traveller lower his weapon again

finally reunited again after so many years, both of you seemed happy to be within the presence of each other again

you gently pressed the tip of your nose into her face, gently blowing air into her face which made her giggle a bit. She then climbed onto your back, resting there while the now four of you continued this walk through the rainforest

And even after that, you continued to stay by Nahida's side, always there to protect her should anything ever happen to her again. You were ready to make them regret their decision if people decided to ever mess with her again...

[songsofadelaide]

Hello! Recently read a few of your kn8 Soshiro x Reader fics and fell in love with your writing style. It's so lovely, and I really like your portrayal of him! If you're okay with requests, can you maybe write a Soshiro/female!Reader story where the two have a number of memorable chance meetings from childhood to adulthood, until they "officially" meet in the Defense Force? I'm lowkey obsessed with the idea of two people who meet as kids and are repeatedly separated and reunited during different stages of life, before reuniting for good as adults who can be together. Bonus points if the reader is Kafka's silly little sister!

Sorry if this is a lot, and thanks for reading it all!

I love your big brain, anon. The childhood friends trope is really at the top of everything for some reason! But soulmates, too? (Or something like that lol.) These are just a few of my favourite things to write.

Hope you enjoy this!

cw: (F) Reader/OC has a name in this fic, Hibino Mayari, and is six years younger than Kafka and one year younger than Mina. There may be some inaccuracy with the ages. Written with a generic (f) reader in mind. ✧ Mayari is the deity of the moon, night, war, revolution, equality, and strength in the Philippines. Since Kafka had a unique name, I thought I'd give his little sister one, too. Think of it as their mother being some kind of voracious reader and giving her children names they absolutely cannot find in souvenir shops. wc: 3.8k

✧ Stardust - Sakura Fujiwara

stardust

Lucky stars, a trick of the gods, destiny— you could call your meeting so many different things. Strings so intricately twined that you'd think it to be a single rope, raindrops from the same cloud falling into the same ocean, and shadows coming together as the sun reaches a point in the sky. There wasn't a single part of you that wouldn't recognise the soul that touched yours that fateful day.

What was it like to make a promise to someone? Your older brother promised you many things— sweets after school, a piggyback ride whenever you got tired of running after him, and taking you wherever you wanted. Such were the little sister privileges granted to you by your older brother Kafka.

In the wake of your home's destruction, you remember him making a promise to a girl— your next-door neighbour Mina, and how they both swore to rise above and become the coolest Defense Force Officer the world has ever seen. You wanted in on that promise, too, and Kafka agreed only because you were his younger sister, his only one in this world. And Mina agreed because there was no way she could refuse you and your eagerness.

"I want to be a Defense Force Officer, too!"

"Then let's race! Me, Mina, and Mayari! Let's see who becomes the coolest of them all!" 

Not long after making that promise, you were caught amid a Yoju attack that separated you from Kafka and your mother. You screamed and wailed for your older brother, for anyone at that point, only to be rescued by a lone swordsman who swept through the field with his single blade. Your nameless saviour brought you to the nearest evacuation centre, where you reunited with your family and the rest of your community. 

You only knew swordsmen from legends and anime and not even once in your life did you ever think you'd be rescued by one, but then you were. And you couldn't peel your eyes away from the older man, who was clearly flattered by how you followed him around the evacuation centre with your curious eyes. 

"Is there anything I can do for you, little one?"

"I—! I want to be a swordsman, too!"

He chuckled at your declaration, calling it an admirable intention, but the light in your eyes revealed the depth of your earnestness— a rarity for children like you who have lost nearly everything in your life— mostly due to Kaiju attacks. 

The old man in the familiar Defense Force uniform crouched down and held out his hand for a handshake with you. "Very well. If you wish to devote yourself to the way of the sword, you must be willing to sacrifice your existing way of life."

He scrounged a wrinkled sheet of paper and a pen and wrote down an address that your practised eyes could read. "Ho… shina?"

"That's correct. If you truly wish to learn more about swordsmanship, come to this place, and I will teach you all that our family knows." 

That little scrap of paper became your most treasured possession. After weeks of pestering your older brother to take you to that place, he eventually relented and allowed you a maximum of 30 minutes before he came to pick you up again. 

You were almost turned away from the dojo when the students mistook you for a lost child, but your saviour recognised you— and your eyes filled with hope. When you introduced yourself to him once more and reiterated your intention to learn the way of the sword, he acknowledged you with a deep bow, which you quickly imitated. 

"I have a son your age. He will be the one to teach you the most basic yet valuable lessons when it comes to swordsmanship," he said before gesturing at a boy in the same haori and hakama as him. "Soshiro."

Rumours about the high schooler Hibino Mayari and her incredible sword arm reached even the ears of her older brother in college. While you remained his adorable little sister for the most part, it was clear to Kafka that you had a gift for the sword you had to continue honing. From his estimation, you won't have any difficulty passing the Defense Force Entrance Exams, but that will depend on your overall combat power and affinity for firearms. 

At 23, he had already failed four times, while you had one more year before you could take it yourself. And while you didn't wish for your brother to lose hope, the way things were going for him did not bode well. 

You were both home for the weekend, Kafka with his can of beer in hand while you practised your swings with your bokken in your backyard. 

"Aniki," you started. "Mina nee-san will take the entrance exams later this year, right?" 

"Yeah. Wish her luck when you can," he told you. "Speaking of which, didn't you say your friend will be taking the exam, too?" 

"Shiro-kun has family in the Defense Force. Though I doubt he'd try to get in the force by family connections alone," you said with a smile. "It's been years since I last saw him, so I wonder if he's really going to take the exam this year like he said before."

As a child, you learned everything you could about swordsmanship under the tutelage of the age-old samurai clan, but after being assessed at the age of 13, the Hoshina patriarch declared you a shodan, an estimation which meant you already had a clear grasp of the basics of swordsmanship. 

"It's a pity they had to let you go just when you were getting good, huh?" Kafka remarked as he drank deep from his can of beer. 

"I know, but Shisho said Shiro-kun and I were quickly becoming big fish in a small pond and training with a single person for a long time would narrow our perspective, so we had to start training with others. At least that's what he told me," you replied to him as you rested your bokken on your stiff shoulder. "I'm glad the schools I went to had Kendo clubs with members of varying levels of strengths and skill, so I was able to make use of my knowledge while learning new things at the same time." 

"Oh, come on. You learned swordsmanship from an elite dojo. We both know you just wanted to show off— ow!" He said with a small snort, to which you replied by lightly kicking his shin. "Mayari!"

"Well, maybe I do want to show off a little," you huffed at your older brother. 

"They even gave you some tacky nickname, right? Crescent blade Mayari! Pfft!"  

You kicked his shin a bit harder this time. "Aniki! I didn't ask for that! My kouhais thought it was cool, so…"

"So you ran with it," Kafka nodded at you before gently kicking you back. You could tell from the way he looked at you that he kind of wanted to cry. "I am proud of you, Mayari."

That can't be helped, you told yourself. Aniki is always so honest with himself, after all. 

"Thank you, aniki. Don't go crying on me now. I'll always be your adorable little sister," you replied to him with a laugh and playfully batted your eyelashes at him. "Speaking of which, this adorable little sister of yours just saw this pretty dress in—"

"H-Hey! Don't get too ahead of yourself, Mayari!" 

"Aniki," you said to him with a smile. "I hope you know I'll always be rooting for you, too, so don't give up, okay? I'm sure Mina nee-san will be waiting for you— and me— when she passes the exam this year."

"Shiro-kun!" 

It was an endearing nickname that was even more endearing by the sweet way you said it. If he was being honest, Soshiro did not think much of you back then. For him, you were just a little girl his father invited to learn and train swordsmanship. You were different from him in the way flowers grew from the same bush. While they were equally tended to, some will grow larger than others and bloom more brilliantly, too. 

He likened you to a grafted plant— one attached to him by the roots. And brilliantly did you bloom, indeed. A wildflower that thrived from the same water and sunlight as he did. For him, it was only a matter of time until you bloomed in fullness and outgrew him, but that never happened because his father uprooted you to the quick— for growing at a rate he did not expect from someone like you. 

That, and he did not expect his sons to start fighting over you. And though you were one of his most excellent pupils, he didn't deem you worth the trouble his sons would stir if you did not permit them to tame you. 

You parted your place of learning in good faith and had nothing but gratitude for the Hoshina Family, but there were times you thought it was unfair. He will continue learning under the best of the best while you have to carry on by yourself… But you were more disheartened by the fact that you would not see him again. 

Soshiro was truly the best rival you could ever ask for. As you entered middle school and high school and razed through club after club and joined every tournament you could, you soon realised that no one else could ever come close to him— both in skill and in something else you couldn't quite put a finger on. You searched for him in every opponent you came across, only to be disappointed time and again that they were not even at your level. 

In your final year of high school, during your school's long-anticipated cultural festival, the drama club needed someone with your skill, and they made you the centrepiece of their performance by teaching you a sword dance that drew spectators to your graceful form. 

"She's a marvel."

For once in his life, Soshiro was glad to have let his curiosity win him over. He was glad he sighted you in your high school's silly-looking cultural festival poster— for never did he expect to see the most beautiful wildflower in full bloom, adorned with silk and grace that did little to conceal her thorns as she danced to the strong yet tender rhythm of an equally gorgeous piece of music played on a shamisen. 

That was his wildflower. 

When he came to see you after your performance, all you could say was his name. "Shiro-kun!"

And it sounded just as sweet as when he last heard it. 

"Are ya just dancin' now?"

"Of course not! I was just helping the drama club!" You retorted with a smile. "If you wish to challenge me, all you have to do is ask." 

Your wordless duel of wooden swords was akin to dance as well, both of you equally deft, your movements measured and graceful, almost like spinning before a mirror until your dull blades were pressed against each other's necks. 

"I see time has not dulled your skills. That's good."

"It looks like time has been incredibly good to ya, too," he said, a familiar glint of mischief in his wine-dark eyes. "You've gotten prettier, Mayari-chan."

"Hmm. Not exactly the words I was looking for, but good enough, I suppose," you shook your head at him before breaking out into a smile. "It's good to see you again, Shiro-kun."

Mina's meteoric rise to the rank of Division Captain did not surprise you. Ever since you were children, she had always been more focused on her goals compared to Kafka, who only desired the coolness associated with being a Defense Force officer. She vouched for your potential when you took the entrance exams and passed with the help of her commendation, though she reassured you herself that your own skills brought you there to where she was. 

And though you were subsequently assigned to a different division, she kept in touch with you as you both anticipated your older brother's arrival.

An arrival that never came. 

When you last phoned your home, it was only then you found out that Kafka had moved out and started working as a monster cleaner. It was a noble profession for you, of course, but you couldn't help but think—

—of how lonely your older brother must have been to have received rejection after rejection from something he had wanted to do all his life—

And it pains you to think that behind his smile when he congratulated you for passing the exams and becoming an officer was the sting of dismissal. 

When Kafka stopped calling to check in on you, you figured he might be busy with his job. Behind your stellar performance during missions was a strong sense of duty and a great fear of failure that allowed you to focus on the things you can control. You missed your older brother, but it was his choice to give up. 

However, you sensed a change in the wind after receiving a summon from the Captain of the Third Division out of the blue.

"Captain Ashiro called for you again, Mayari. I know she's always looking forward to seeing you in joint training, but doesn't she realise how stressful it is having to travel to Tokyo so often?" 

The Captain of the Fourth Division, Ogata Jugo, was a relatively relaxed man for the most part, but he was also incredibly insightful. He had no qualms about promoting you to a Platoon Leader despite your inclination to use swords in missions. He believes in allowing officers to use their own weapons of choice and that you would eventually use a gun when the situation calls for it. 

Captain Ogata trusts your skills, but he trusts your critical thinking even more. 

"I don't really mind all the travelling, Captain, sir," you replied to him with your usual cheer. Nagano to Tokyo wasn't a walk in the park but a three-and-a-half-hour car ride.

"Well, I do. You are my Platoon Leader, after all. You must defend this base when the situation arises," your captain said with a sigh. "I'm betting that Ashiro would do just about anything to have you transferred to her division."

"Nonsense, Captain. My place is here," you reassured him. "And while I do enjoy being the apple of her eye, I don't think I'll work well under the Third Division and its Captain."

"Why'd you think that?"

"Because Captain Ashiro would sooner lose herself in the battle than send me out," you said with a small shrug. "Sisterly instincts, I suppose. More importantly, I like working with you and our division, Captain, sir."

"You should tell that to her," your Captain chuckled.

"But for the record, Captain, I enjoy seeing her, too," you replied with an easygoing laugh. "I hope you continue to be lenient with me, sir."

"All right, all right. Go before I change my mind," Ogata stated as he shooed you away with a slow swatting motion. "And don't forget to bring me back some of that stuff you last brought."

You gave him a sharp salute and the same warm smile he enjoyed seeing on your face. "I'll be sure to bring home a bottle or two for you, Captain, sir!"

Tachikawa Base never failed to amaze you. You found it more of a marvel compared to Headquarters, seeing as it was at the centre of the busiest city in Japan, but it was a constant magnet of Kaiju attacks, too. 

The entrance exams concluded Tachikawa Base's busiest time of the year, and with fresh recruits to fill in the ranks, more joint training sessions would soon be set to foster a warm relationship and camaraderie among the different members of the Defense Force's Eastern Divisions. 

Mina received you at her office as per protocol, the one place where you could simply be friends and not Captain and subordinate. 

"Fourth Division Platoon Leader Hibino Mayari at your service," you stated your name with a sharp salute and dignity tied to your esteemed position. "It's good to see you again, Captain Ashiro, ma'am."

"It's good to see you well, Mayari-chan," the older woman saluted right back before offering you a handshake. "I'll have to thank Captain Ogata for permitting your visit this time again."

"I'll buy his clemency before I head back to Nagano, Mina nee-san," you said with a laugh. "How did the entrance exams go this year, by the way? I only heard from Captain Ogata that something… strange happened."

Mina squeezed your hand and motioned for you to sit next to her. "This year's exams were nothing short of strange, I'll tell you that. But there's something I want to show you, too."

Having the Division Captain herself guide you through the many halls and walls of her base meant you had to return many greetings and salutations from younger officers. Mina was evidently well-loved by her division and adored by the masses for her levelheadedness that calmed whatever panic struck them during Kaiju attacks. After what seemed to be fifteen minutes of walking, you finally arrived at the base training ground, where most of the recruits gathered for their routine drills. 

"One of these days, we'd like for you to visit again when we host the annual goodwill Kendo match," she stated, eyeing the state of her division's recruits from above the area's gate. 

"I'd be glad to take part in…" You answered her, only for her to give you a small smile as she pointed down at one of the Third Division's recruits.

Lagging behind their laps was one older man gasping for breath, while a younger man slowed his pace to keep up with him. 

"Aniki…?!" 

Kafka turned to the direction of that endearment like clockwork, only to find you and Mina curiously peering down at him from the gate while the rest of his cohort eventually outran him. 

"Mayari! And Mina, too!" 

"Another 30 laps for calling your superiors by their names, Officer Hibino," Mina shot back at him, to which he replied with a small groan of protest. "You can catch up with Platoon Leader Hibino once you're done with your drills and punishment."

You managed to laugh off your older brother's misfortune over his excitement at seeing you, but your amusement was swiftly replaced by the same kind of shock that came over Kafka when you saw yet another figure in the same sleek black uniform approach you and Mina.

"Captain Ashiro! I didn't expect to see you here today! I was told you have a guest…"

"Ah!"

"Eh?"

"Sh-Shiro-kun?!"

"Huh. So you're that Shiro-kun, Hoshina? Mayari-chan told us much about you when we were young," Mina mused aloud, though you knew from the small smile on her face that she sewed everything seamlessly. "What a small world we live in. To think that one of my oldest friends knows my Vice Captain." 

"I-I apologise for speaking out of turn, V-Vice Captain Hoshina!" You mustered a nervous salute directed at your childhood rival, now one of the Third Division's most prominent superior officers. "I-It's good to see you again, sir!"

"Fancy meeting you here, Mayari-chan. Or should I say Platoon Leader—"

"Fourth Division Platoon Leader Hibino Mayari at your service, Vice Captain, sir! I'm here at Captain Ashiro's invitation." 

Hibino? He thought to himself. Same as the stand-out candidate from this year's exams— "Wait a second, are you actually Kafka's sister?!"

"I hope my older brother hasn't been causing you any trouble, sir," you let out a nervous little chuckle. "Truth be told, I haven't spoken to him in the last few years and I did not expect to see him here at all. Mina nee-san— I mean, Captain Ashiro only informed me about this today."

"I see. Then you two must have a lot of catching up to do," he replied to you with a warm smile, to which Mina responded by patting him on his shoulder. 

"You two have a lot of catching up to do, too, wouldn't you agree, Hoshina?" 

"Well, I— It's just that Mayari-ch— I mean, I simply thought Platoon Leader Hibino would like to hear about her brother's exploits so far…?" 

"Make good use of your time while you're here, Platoon Leader Hibino. Seeing as Hoshina is here, too, you should discuss the goodwill Kendo match between our divisions as well."

"O-Of course, Captain Ashiro, ma'am!" 

She gave your shoulder a quick squeeze as well, before eventually whispering in your ear, "Kafka-kun and I will be waiting for you, so make sure you two catch up well."

As Mina disappeared back to the base's main building, you were left to watch how Soshiro conducted drills and training exercises with his division's recruits. Nearly everyone cheered for Kafka as he finished the last of his additional 30 laps around the training ground before they all shuffled back to the mess hall, you and their Vice Captain trailing them from behind.

"Anything on yer mind, Mayari-chan?"

"How is Shisho? I hope he's been well." 

"The old man's as stubborn as a fox, I'll tell ya that. I suppose I'll have to let him know that one of his most prized students made it here again."

"Does he still remember me?" 

"'Course he does, even though we only knew you as Mayari-chan. You're one of his most dedicated pupils, after all," Soshiro stated with a grin. "One time he said he regretted letting ya go. But I'm sure he'll change his tune when he finds out how much better you've become, both with a sword and with yer guns…"

"You think I've gotten better with just a glance?" You teasingly asked him. "The last we met, you said I only got prettier."

"Well, pardon me for noticing your face before everythin' else," he shrugged at you. "And I wasn't jokin' about that, either. You did get prettier."

"And now? I can show you how well I've grown. If you wish to challenge me, all you have to do is ask." 

Soshiro chuckled at your instigation, only for him to tell you with the most familiar glint of mischief in his eyes, "I think you're mistaken there, Platoon Leader. You're the challenger here."

"Of course, sir. How could I forget that I'm on your turf?" You said with a hearty laugh. "Shall we put on a show for your lucky recruits? It's not every day they see two blade masters battle it out."

Lucky stars, a trick of the gods, destiny— your meeting could be defined by so many different things. But one thing remained constant in your every coming together and parting…

"I'd like that!"

Rivals, friends, colleagues, lovers. The titles didn't matter much to you. This meeting once more proves you were meant to be part of Hoshina Soshiro's life in one way or another, just as he was meant to be in yours.

✦ Thank you for requesting! Nothing makes me happier than writing a request I know I can work with. 🍹 You can read more about requesting here

[pupkashi]

birthdays

nanami makes your birthday a bit cozier than previous years

a/n: hi friends ! thank u anon for this request I’m so sorry for taking so long to get to it :( happy belated birthday friend, wishing you a years worth of love and warmth !

wordcount: 1,610

masterlist

11:59 pm

you used to expect a roll of messages or phone calls as the clock struck midnight, your birthdate reading across the screen and a smile on your face.

you tried to act like you didn’t care, keeping your mind off the day and keeping your eyes glued to the tv screen, a random movie playing with the plot lost long ago along with your interest.

your fingers itched to grab your phone, hoping the reason for its silence was because it was on do not disturb, not a lack of messages.

the clock on the nightstand read 12:01, and against your better judgement you grabbed your phone, swiping up. you could feel your fingers running cold and your nose and eyes burning as the tears formed in your eyes.

1 notification: light rain expected soon

there’s a stinging sensation in your chest, and you don’t bother fighting the choked sob that leaves your lips, hot tears streaming down your face.

throwing your phone down haphazardly, turning the tv off and burying your face in your pillow.

you’re not sure when you fell asleep, but you’re waking up to the blinds cracked open and warm sunshine on your face.

the flowers on the nightstand make your hazy mind clear a bit, rubbing your eyes and reaching for the small note accompanying the beautiful flowers.

hoping you make it around the sun many more times by my side <3

happy birthday, my love

there’s tears in your eyes, a small smile on your lips and a giggle slipping past your lips. you don’t have much time to do much of anything when the bedroom door creaks open.

“good morning,” nanami smiles, his hair still a bit messy, shirt slightly unbuttoned and tie long gone. he sets the plate of food on the nightstand, leaning down and catching your lips in his. “sleep well? feeling older?”

you can’t help but smile a bit, “not as old as you,” you hum, grabbing his collar and pressing another kiss to his lips. nanami smiles against your lips, slipping his hand under your chin, smiling as he pulls away.

“did you like the flowers?” he asks, “it’s the same bouquet you saw online a couple weeks ago,” he reminds you, watching as your eyes light up.

“oh my god it is!” you gasp, looking at the flowers and smiling even wider, “you’re too good to me baby,” you mumble, pulling him down to sit next to you.

“I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you,” he sighs, pressing a gentle kiss on your temple, “how about you eat up and get ready for the day, yeah?”

you nod, a dazed smile on your face as you watch him get up, setting the food on your lap before walking out of the bedroom.

when you leave the bedroom he’s quick to take the empty plates from your hands, setting them in the sink and washing them. you take a seat across the bar, elbows on the counter and your chin in your hands.

“any plans today?” he asks, setting the plates in the drying rack before wiping his hands.

“no, was just gonna stay in,” you trail off, “thought you were gonna be busy today,” the admission has your cheeks burning as kento looks at you in shock.

“you thought i would go to work on your day?” he chuckles softly making his way to you and wrapping his arms around you, making you lean forward in your seat bit.

“what do you say i go shower then we can crawl back into bed and cuddle?” he suggests, watching the way your smile grows as he continues talking, “we can watch that new movie that came out too.”

kento is off to the shower quickly, smiling to himself when he hears your giggles coming outside the bathroom. by the time he’s out you’re cozied up in bed, blankets wrapped around you and a smile on your face.

you’re only left alone when he goes to pick up dinner, settling on ordering in at your request. it’s only then that you check your phone again, replying to the couple messages you’ve received and thanking your friends.

it doesn’t take too long for nanami to get back home, calling his usual, ‘im home!’ as he looks for you. “my love?”

“i thought you went for the food?” you asked, confused when you see his hands and the table both empty.

“i got called and I’ve gotta go pick something up, do you wanna come?” he asks, heart pounding in his chest as he hopes his plan will go smoothly.

“yeah why not,” you smile, heading to the bedroom and changing into something a bit more presentable, slipping on your shoes as the two of you head out the door.

it’s not until 7 minutes into the drive when you see a familiar park come into view, watching as he turns into the parking lot.

“what do you need to pick up at a park?” you laugh, watching as he gets out of the car and walks over to open the door for you, taking your hand and helping you out.

“some cursed object gojo wants me to get,” he mumbles, intertwining his fingers in yours, pulling you along.

you don’t question it, following your lover, your steps only faltering when the small gazebo comes into view, set up with flowers, fruits, drinks and candles.

“ken- wait- hold on,” you smile, your hand slipping out of his and flying over your mouth.

“cmon doll,” he smiles, hand softly gripping your wrist and pulling you towards the set up. “sit here,” he mumbles, smiling as he pulls a cake out from a small box, sticking the candles in and quickly lighting them.

happy y/n day ! ♡

“happy birthday to you..” he sings, chuckling when you roll your eyes, sitting in front of the cake and swaying along to the melody. “happy birthday, honey.”

there’s nothing on your mind as you blow out the candles, eyes fluttering open and landing on all you’ve ever wanted.

“why are you looking at me like that?” he laughs, leaning over and taking the candle out of the cake.

“no reason, just really love you,” you giggle, only tearing your eyes off him when you hear your phone ringing.

“happy birthday y/n!” the four loud voices make you jump a bit, smiling widely as you register everyone on the other end of the phone. “we hope nanamin gives you the present we picked out!”

“it was all my idea by the way,” nobara calls out, you can hear some grumbling and a small ‘that’s a lie’ coming from who you assume is megumi.

“hope we aren’t too late, the kids took longer i thought they would on a mission,” satoru snickers, you laugh as you hear the three students begin to gang up on him.

“never too late, thank you guys,” you grin, chatting for a couple more minutes before saying goodbye.

kento looks at you with a small smile on his face, placing a couple presents in front of you, “i know you said you didnt want anything but i had to get you something,” he protests, “and plus this one’s from gojo and the students.”

every gift seems more perfect than the next, things you’d wanted that you’d forgotten about, meaningful little trinkets and gift cards to all your favorite places.

“thank you, hun” you smile, wrapping your arms around him and peppering kisses on his cheeks.

“don’t thank me, it’s what you deserve baby,” he mumbles, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before pulling back swiftly, “now let’s eat before this food gets cold, yeah?”

kento sits across from you, soft laughter coming from the decorated gazebo as the sun sets, gold rays on lights hitting both of you as you continue with easy conversation.

it’s dark by the time the two of you finish eating and talking, nanami cleaning up the area and packing up any leftovers, rushing to the car and putting them away, coming back with a blanket in his arms.

“are we sleeping out here?” you tease, watching as he rolls his eyes, motioning you over as he lays the blanket over the grass, smoothing it out and sitting down.

“come,” he grins, blonde hair a bit messy thanks to the slight breeze. you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach, walking over and taking a seat next to him, cuddling into his side immediately.

“the moon looks beautiful tonight,” he whispers, the two of you staring up at the night sky, though a bit cloudy, the stars still managed to shine down on the two of you.

“must be the universe telling me happy birthday,” you smile, giggling when he chuckles at your words.

“must be,” he smiles, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head, eyes fluttering closed as he savors every moment with you.

“happy birthday, lover,” he mumbles, lips still slightly pressed against your hair, moving away only to press another kiss to your cheek.

“thank you ken, really this meant so much to me,” you sigh happily, turning your head to face him, your hand resting softly on his cheek before catching his lips in yours.

the park is quiet, only the sound of the occasional rustling of trees, occasional bird chirp and yours and kento’s laughter.

and as the moon and it’s stars shine down on the two of you, there’s a warmth in your chest and a comforting feeling that settles around your heart. you wouldn’t have to worry about being lonely on your birthday, not anymore.

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru

[chairofchaos]

55 or 57

Maybe Azriel x Eris or Tamlin x Nyx

All about the sweet fluff amidst family filled drama

Banned from Bed | Tamlin x Nyx (Nymlin?)

A/N: Anon, I hope you find this appropriately sweet because I laughed like a maniac the whole time I was writing this. Enjoy!

“It isn’t fair.”

Tamlin opened his eyes, darkness in the room around him. Being awoken in the middle of the night was nothing new, not with his lover being the Prince of Velaris.

“I hate it, Tamlin,” Nyx sighed, sitting delicately at the edge of the bed. “We’ve been hiding this for a century.”

Tamlin sat up, reaching for the raven-haired male. They had this conversation every so often, but the instances Nyx brought it up were increasing in frequency. “I know.” 

Nyx sighed once more, kicking his boots off unceremoniously. His wings flared behind him as he threw his body over Tamlin’s, tackling him both back into the pillows. Tamlin couldn’t help but laugh.

“My birthday is in a couple of months,” Nyx continued. “I want to celebrate here, with you. It was bad enough not being able to see you around the Winter Solstice.” 

Tamlin drew in a deep breath. “I would love to. You know what that would mean.”

“I know.”

“Would you be ready for that?”

“I’m turning 400. None of this should matter.”

“And because you’re turning 400,” Tamlin teased, kneading Nyx’s shoulders, “You know exactly why it matters.”

Nyx nipped at Tamlin’s neck with an equally teasing snarl. “I can’t help the fact that they both need mind healing and won’t get any.” 

Tamlin laughed at that, rolling Nyx off of his body as he sat up. “Well. Truer words. Come on, your shoulders are ridiculously tense.”

“I flew here,” Nyx admitted. “I know, I know. I’m getting older. You're older still, Mr. Nine-Hundred-and-Ten. But Dad was having sex in the sky-”

“Nyx please,” Tamlin groaned, covering Nyx’s mouth with his hand. “Please, please do not talk about your parents’ sex life when we are in bed. Or ever.”

“Hmm?” Nyx hummed against Tamlin’s hand, his eyes flaring with challenge as the bond between them coursed with a matching fire.

“Darling,” Tamlin ground out between gritted teeth. “Please.”

A sudden abnormal darkness filled the space between them, and faster than even he could blink, Tamlin found himself being pushed back into the pillows before the normal darkness of night returned.

“What did I say,” Nyx pressed Tamlin’s hands into the bed with his own, “About calling me ‘darling’?”

“Well. Apparently topics previously banned from bed were allowed.”

Nyx’s blue eyes narrowed. “Really. So you’re goi- oomph!”

Tamlin had flipped them back the other way, slotting his hips between Nyx’s thighs while he shifted his legs to a larger form in order to weigh his mate down. “I’m going to kill this conversation.”

“Oh?”

“I mean it. Your shoulders are seriously terrible. Please roll over and let me help.”

“Fine,” Nyx sighed dramatically, raising his head to give Tamlin a brief kiss. “If you insist.”

Still, Tamlin didn’t move. He watched his mate stare up at him for a moment before speaking. “Do you mean it? About telling them before your birthday?”

“Yes.”

“We should talk about it again in the morning, but I would plan a mating ceremony in a heartbeat if you let me.”

Nyx paused, then nodded. “Let’s plan a mating ceremony, my beast.”

Tamlin chuckled lowly, lowering all his weight atop his mate’s body. “As you wish, my prince.”

[cosmicjoke]

As an eruri shipper I wanted to thank you for your callout post. For nearly a year now I have gotten so much hate on my fics that I thought about deleting them, I haven't tho, thankfully. I found out about the spiteful troll and so I did my best to ignore it. However, the hateful comments my work was getting was beyond me because I hardly ever care what people ship or do and was simply minding my business writing what I like only to be told that I'm a jealous loser and I should stop writing Levi together with the "ugly bitch" (referring to Erwin) and that I should touch grass or slit my throat ... which?? And they made it sound like shipping Levi with a man was illegal or that the ship was inappropriate in some way.

I don't know who is really behind those hateful comments but if it's really her I hope karma hits her way very hard. Don't tell people to kill themselves over fiction EVER. That's common decency.

And about some eruris seeing you as an anti shipper. I'll admit I thought you were one as well. It didn't bother me as everyone is free to do whatever they want, but it's a pleasant surprise to know you actually like the ship and write fics for it. If anything, I admire how you can put your shipping goggles aside to write your analyses. It's very impressive.

Don't know if this is relevant but self shippers scare me a bit. Some of them have mean girls energy and I don't want to be attacked so that's why I'm staying on anon🙏🏻

First of all, let me truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out. It means the world to me, and I admire you for sharing your experience too. I'm super glad to hear that you didn't let the person leaving hateful comments on your stories drive you to delete them. I understand completely where you're coming from, as I've deleted stories of mine in the past due to an overabundance of negative comments. But I've never had anyone actually leave me death threats, or wish for harm to befall me on any of my stories, and to do that is truly the lowest of the low. Not just because it's over something as harmless as a piece of fictional writing, but just in general, it's never okay to wish harm on someone who's never harmed anyone else, or over something as ridiculous as a disagreement.

And yes, given what I've seen from this person on twitter, claiming Erwin is some "old man", they seem to think shipping him and Levi is tantamount to pedophilia, which is so absurd it doesn't even warrant a response. Erwin is at most maybe 5 years older than Levi? If even? They're both in their 30s. Shipping them is totally normal and healthy, lol.

I just think this person has some sort of raging, disgusting prejudice against gay relationships, and they view all gay relationships as perverse in some way. It's truly their problem, not anyone else's. I don't know either if it's the same person I got into an argument with here on tumblr, but so much of the language is the same, and the things they say are so similar to what was being said on twitter and a03, that I'm more than inclined to believe it is the same person. I can only hope my post helps inform more people about them and what a toxic, horrible person they are. Hopefully it will lead to them being blocked so that it isn't so easy for them to harass others. Though I already know they have multiple accounts here on tumblr, since they saw my post and started ranting about it on their blog, even though I had them blocked.

It also means the world to me to know that I've been able to clear up with you my stance on eruri and shipping in general. That was big of you to not be bothered by me when you did think I was an anti, but I'm glad I was able to show you that I'm not. I'm really, really not, lol. I love eruri. It's my favorite ship, and all my favorite AoT fanfics are eruri fics, lol. You can find comments I've left on too many to count at this point. I just try to keep it out of discussions which focus on "Attack on Titan" itself and Levi's role within the story, because I just don't see his relationship with Erwin in canon as romantic. I just think you have to keep the ship separate from canon because if you're going into an analysis of the narrative and Levi's or Erwin's role in it with some preconceived idea that their relationship is romantic in nature, then that's going to color one's ability to objectively analyze the motivations and the reasoning behind both Levi's and Erwin's actions. But I was never, ever against the ship, or against the idea of them being shipped. I think I got the reputation of being an anti because for a long time, I was being inundated with anon asks basically accusing me of being homophobic for saying eruri isn't canon, or anon asks trying to "prove" to me that it is canon and then getting angry at me when I disagreed, or when I lost my patience with them for simply not accepting my stance on this issue. And I think this small group of people then went around to other eruri's and spread to them that I was some sort of aggressive eruri hater. But again, I never was and never will be. I talk more about Levi's relationship with Erwin than any other character, and I find their canon relationship to be incredibly moving and powerful, and further, I love Erwin as a character. One thing I hope all of this will also do is make it clear to other eruri shippers that I'm not against them or their ship at all. I really don't want to be anyone's enemy, least of all eruri shippers. That was never something I set out to do, haha.

But yes, I'm right there with you regarding some self-shippers. Obviously, most of them aren't like this person. Most of them are normal and understand what they write and do is just for fun. But after "Bad Boy" came out, it seemed like the most push back against analysis of that story and its implications came from the self-shipping community, particularly people that seem to actually labor under some sort of delusion of actually, truly being with Levi in a romantic, sexual relationship. I don't understand that at all, because Levi isn't real, lol.

But they seem to get so upset at any discussion of Levi's trauma, or of Levi being affected by his trauma, because acknowledging that trauma and the impact its had on him ruins whatever fantasy, dom-daddy version of Levi it is that they've concocted in their heads. They like to claim Levi is some hard-ass, stoic, unaffected, domineering sex god, because that's what turns them on, and any discussion about what the actual reality of Levi's sexuality would likely be, due to the sexual trauma he's been exposed to, needs to be shut down, because it ruins the fantasy they have. They can't claim that the way they characterize Levi is objective or accurate to canon if Levi's sensitivity or vulnerability as a person is acknowledged, so they like to claim he's not affected at all by his past trauma, that he's just too hardcore to ever succumb to or be profoundly impacted by the things he's lived through. They like to imagine he's just come out the other side totally a-okay and that his stoicism and rudeness is 100% just a product of him being kind of a mean person, again, because they like the idea of being treated meanly by him in a sexual setting.

But Levi isn't a mean person, at all. He's literally the opposite of mean. He's the most thoughtful and considerate character in the series, constantly going out of his way to express his gratitude and ease the suffering of others. He's just awkward, like Dimo Reeves says, and isn't good at filtering his words or expressing himself. That some of these people refuse to acknowledge that the way Levi grew up, the environment he grew up in and the way he was raised, didn't have an impact on his ability to navigate social situations is patently absurd and stupidly unrealistic. It also undermines the severity of abuse Levi suffered in his upbringing, to deny that it had any sort of negative or harmful impact on his ability to interact socially with others. He was raised by a serial killer, for Christ's sake, lol. He wasn't ever taught how to talk to people in a way that would make them more comfortable. He was only ever taught violence and how to kill by Kenny, and he was too young when his mother died to learn anything from her, and he was also abandoned and left on his own at the age of ten, in the most cutthroat, dangerous environment there is inside the walls, surrounded by criminals, rapist, murderers and human traffickers, as well as just desperate people who would resort to plenty of bad shit just to survive. He probably didn't have a single, normal social interaction in his life until he met Furlan and Isabel. I would like these people to explain to me, then, how it is they think that didn't have an impact on the way Levi interacts with others?

He's an exceptionally honest person, too, and he also isn't someone who's concerned with being well-liked, so he doesn't try to ingratiate himself to others by acting friendly. But Levi never sets out to hurt anyone's feelings. He isn't malicious or cruel. He just says what he's thinking and sometimes it comes out sounding unkind. And we see, when Levi realizes it, that he tries to explain himself, again, not because he wants to be liked, but because he doesn't actually ever intend to hurt anyone's feelings. This idea that Levi is a mean person is totally wrong.

Anyway, I went off on a bit of tangent there, lol. Sorry about that. But again I just want to reiterate how much I appreciate you reaching out like this! And don't let these freak shows get you down.

[seeingivy]

hiiii Ronnie!!

it’s your girl, Taylor as Gojo Anon, reaching out to check in on you.

How are you doing? 🤍🖤

hi sweet angel face!

(im cut tagging it because i accidentally procured a long response)

how are you my dear? things have been kind of up and down from me, which is why i haven't been so active. that makes me feel really sad, not because i necessarily feel obligated to write, but because i just want to!!! idk mental things and blocks have been all over the place. and i have so much fun thinking about ideas and such but sometimes i get in my head about writing about them or other stuff comes up.

my best friend's mom passed away two weeks ago, which kind of has turned things upside down. we were really close - her mom and mine are best friends, we all went on a cruise to mexico together (? idk its kind of like a fever dream but it makes me laugh now) and she was just someone i felt really really close to. i am so sad she's gone and i loved her so much.

school has started up and this actually happened during my first week of school so it kind of changed the tone. i'm a senior now but weirdly enough things feel so different. one of my best friends actually graduated and school feels different without her and i guess there's been internal stuff happening where my job and my research lab and everything just feels like it's drastically changed dynamic wise and it makes me wish it was still last year and i wasn't so old and i wasn't leaving.

i have so many ideas but don't know which ones to write! and i think about them so hard that i can't do them justice as one shots but i just don't know if anyone would read it if it was longer or if idk i would drop it after i felt like it wasn't good or anything. i hope to write something soon just for my own joy. (see: list of ideas below that I could write like 200k words of if I wanted to)

good old satoru gojo and y/n getting strapped with kids after an untimely passing. BUT they used to date. oh the sweet angst of living together but being responsible for two kids but getting close but one of you has a partner that kind of sucks and it kind of feels like you're a family but you can't really admit that you want to get back together bc. u know. family and all that and a lot at stake and obv angst of almost dying bc it's me and I would have to do that just for fun

satoru gojo (again? shocking I barely ever think or write for this man) but its like kind of like a royalty clan au? like arranged marriage but she literally don't gaf about gojo and sneaks around with a secret lover (that he knows about. and knows that is a snake) and then when things go wrong he's kind of like well I told you so but then they get close and kind of besties and she tells a maid or something that like omfg he doesn't even care about me like that he just feels bad and he overhears SO he has to obviously romance her. obviusly he has to like go to war or a fight or something where he almost dies becuase you know angst of almost dying its me and I would have to do that

I still think about dream girl everyday.

I also think about canary mate all the time too. I almost actually wrote some today but had to write a ghostwrite a deferral letter for my friend to delay her acceptance since her mom passed away

also bsfs older brother sukuna one shot of y/n getting sick or somethign or appendicitis bc u know bsfs older brother sukuna having a panic but in a sweet way

anyways I swear I think about writing and will write again sometime soon.

the good thing is that i'm applying to study abroad and that makes me really excited! it's one week in london and one in paris and they do the whole harry potter studio tour and where bridgerton was filmed and it makes me so excited to think about it.

anyways. thanks for asking. its sweet to know you still think of me even when i'm not active! i would send you asks all the time but you are an anon. but if u ever sneeze or something idk juts think its me sending u an ask like omg hi I love you.

[kusakabesimp]

hey! hope ure having a good day ★

I don't know if everyone had questioned this before, remember that Kusakabe has a younger sister and a nephew? i reread that chapter and it made me wonder.. what kind of brother and uncle he is and how does he act? unckabe lol

— Kusakabe Headcanons : In Gentle Company —

Hi Anon! I hope you're having a great day as well!!

We know that canonically, Atsuya loves his family deeply and will do whatever it takes to make them happy. So it's natural that my headcanons of him as an uncle and an older brother are very tender and sweet.

Takeru's Tie When Kusakabe saw Takeru again, his eyes were immediately drawn to the familiar polka-dot tie around his neck, instantly pulling him back to a tender Thursday morning from a year ago.

Takeru was perched on the bathroom counter, his legs swinging as he watched Kusakabe get ready for work. "Oji-san, why do you have to wear that thing with your suit?" he asked, his tiny voice cutting through the quiet.

Kusakabe gave a low chuckle and continued working on his tie, carefully looping one end over the other. He wished he could tell Takeru everything — where he was going, why he wore the suit, and that he did it all to keep Takeru safe. But for now, he settled for these brief, precious moments. "They say I have to look professional," Kusakabe finally replied with a playful smile. "This is the best I could come up with."

Takeru's eyes lit up, and he hopped off the counter, running down the hallway. Moments later, he came rushing back, clutching a brightly colored tie with small polka dots. "Can I wear one too, Oji-san? Takeru asked eagerly, his eyes shining with excitement.  

Kusakabe's smile softened as he took the tie and knelt down to Takeru's level. "Alright, watch close, ok?" he said gently, guiding his nephew's small hands.

Takeru leaned forward slightly, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he focused. His little fingers fumbled at first but gained confidence with his uncle's steady support. Takeru looked up at Kusakabe, his eyes wide with pride. "Do I look professional now, too?" he asked, tilting his head to see himself in the mirror from different angles.

Kusakabe's expression softened. The tie hung crooked, but it was perfect just the way it was. "You look very professional," he agreed, reaching out to ruffle Takeru's hair.

By the Water's Edge Fishing had always been an escape for Kusakabe, a quiet way to unwind and reflect after a noisy, stressful week of dealing with curses. This weekend was a little different — his sister, who wasn't much for the outdoors, had reluctantly agreed to spend the day with him. From the start, it was clear she wasn't thrilled. As they settled on the dock, she crossed her arms and let out a dramatic sigh. "I'm bored, oniichan."

Atsuya took a sip of his beer and lazily cast his line, unfazed by her grumbling. "There's strawberry mochi in the cooler."

She pulled out a mochi and shut the cooler with a playful huff, unable to stay mad at her brother for very long. As the afternoon drifted by, the rhythmic sounds of the water worked its magic. Her initial boredom began to fade, replaced by a quiet contentment. Atsuya, ever patient, took the time to teach her how to cast a line, guiding her hands with the same gentle care he'd always shown her. He listened intently as she talked about everything from how Itsuki had broken her heart yesterday, to the color she'd like to dye her hair—if she ever found the courage.

As the conversation naturally tapered off, they settled into a comfortable silence, casting lines and enjoying the peaceful stillness of the water. They shared a quiet laugh when she brought in her first catch—a small fish, but a victory nonetheless.

As they packed up to leave, Atsuya reached into the cooler and pulled out a cold beer. He handed it to her with a warm smile, and they clinked their bottles together. Sitting side by side, watching the sun set over the water, she realized how special this moment was. Atsuya, usually so reserved and private, had opened up and shared a part of himself with her. It was a rare and meaningful glimpse into a world few ever saw.

"Thanks, oniichan," she said softly.

** 'Takeru's Tie' was inspired by a re-read of the manga, where I noticed that Takeru's doll wears a polka-dot tie. Given that Yaga created Takeru with his memories, the tie must hold special significance. It seemed to me that this tie represents something deeply meaningful to Takeru—a cherished memory or bond that he carried with him into his next life. By creating this moment with Atsuya, I wanted to honor the idea that such simple, tender moments can become lasting, heartfelt symbols of love and connection. **

[bonniebird]

Forgotten Part 1 (Smut)

Daemon Targaryen x Targ!Neice!Reader

Requested by Anon

Support me on Ko-fi

Make a request

Warnings: Daemon sex with sex worker, pillow house, Targcest

Read on Wattpad

Read on AO3

Forgotten masterlist

“Go. Go and tell him now. I will not have the King coming down on us all over this.” The owner of the pillow house said as she pulled one of the men who worked for her aside. They watched the curious girl walk through the pillow house in awe before the man hurried away.

Daemon glared at the man who hurried into his room. The woman beneath Daemon hadn’t even noticed him, continuing to moan irritatingly as his hips rutted into hers. “I have paid for the evening. What do you want?” He snapped out.

“The princess…. She… she is here. Alone. My mistress is worried of the trouble it will cause." The man stuttered out. 

"Rhaenyra?" He asked the man who shook his head. Rumours of the older princess visiting the pillow houses were many but few ever proved to be true. 

"The younger princess, my prince." The man said quietly. Daemon swore under his breath in velaryon as he pulled himself from the woman, tossing coins at her as he fixed his trousers and followed the man. 

 He spotted you immediately. Shining like a beacon for anyone who wished to force a lewd act on a Targaryen. He imagined your innocent face startled and afraid of what you saw. Rhaenyra was all fire but you were quiet, never commanding a room the way that your sister did. Rhaenys had once said that you were a fire caught in a closed-off room. One day the walls would crumble and Viserys would not be ready for it. A ridiculous thought Daemon had muttered. 

He reached you as you slipped between two curtains and found you staring at several people who were writhing and grinding against each other.

“What are you doing here?” He said quietly as he grabbed at your arm and leaned in.

“The same thing as you… I assume.” You looked up at him boldly. He was surprised when he could see that you were flushed with lust and overstimulated by your own arousal. 

“Who brought you here?” Daemon demanded as he glared down a man that tried to approach the two of you. His beady eyes on you with a heavy pouch of gold in his hands. 

“I came alone.” You said as you tried to pull your arm from Daemon’s grip and stop him steering you away from a woman astride a man like a horse. 

“You came all this way alone?” He pressed. People turned to look as he led you to his private room hoping to take you away from the prowling men that had suddenly become fixated on you, abandoning whoever they were with, perhaps hoping that the least favoured princess would be obtainable. “Why would you do such a thing? You should not be in a place like this!” He realised that taking you up to his rooms would put him in more trouble with his brother than he had been before. Every mistake Viserys felt he had made with Raenyra was not repeated with you, his brother was convinced you were quite innocent. Up until now, Daemon had been convinced of the same.

“Because you would not.” You said and held his gaze. His eyes darkened as he frowned at you.

“What?” He snapped and tilted his head, leaning in in case the people around the two of you were listening.

“I am three years older than Rhaenyra was when you brought her here. If you would not do it then I shall do it myself.” He was so surprised by what you said that he let you slip through his fingers. He hurried after you but the crowd of people stumbling into the pillow house got in his way and he had no choice but to watch you hurry out the door and out of sight. Growling under his breath he shoved his way through the crowd and ran after you. Weaving your way through the crowds of people you watched the chaos of the street. It was nothing like the Red Keep. Bustling and moving constantly.

“Princess.” Someone said as they held out a drink for you, another person hurried to give you a strip of fabric with flowers embroidered into it, more tried to offer you food, to lure you inside nearby buildings. Then they scattered as Daemon moved through the crowd.

“You cannot be out here alone.” He snapped and tried to make you leave, he took the drink from you and sniffed it before tossing it aside.

“Rhaenyra comes here alone.” You snapped and glared at him.

“She is different. You are…” He was cut off by a sharp slap across his cheek again you hurried off but this time he managed to catch you before you got too far and threw you over his shoulder, sick of having to run around after you when he should have been enjoying his evening.

“Let me down.” You wailed and tumbled your hands against his back as he walked towards the keep. “I am so sick of all of you forcing me to be locked up and never speak.”

“You have had quite the adventure princess.” Daemon said as he grabbed at your feet to stop them swinging in fury.

“I have had no adventure. None of you will let me do anything. I have a dragon I am forbidden to ride, Rhaenyra and father spend all their time together, Alicent only speaks of Rhaenyra, Sir Cole called me a whore when I asked him to… to… and you…” He dumped you down on the road leading to the gates of the keep so you were in a heap at his feet.

“I what? What is it that you wish from me, princess? Is it Alicent that has you wishing for me in a pleasure house? My brother filling your head with tales of my misdeeds?” He was angry now. He would no doubt be accused of many things by Otto and Alicent. He simply wished for one evening to do whatever he liked before arriving at the Keep to do what was demanded of him.

“You are second born too. You know what it is like to be unimportant, forgotten, the last thought. No one cares about secondborns. No one loves us. I thought you would understand.” You said and sniffled as you got to your feet. Daemon’s resolve softened as you turned and hurried the rest of the way to the gates which opened immediately for you. As he entered the castle he was immediately accosted by Otto who had him marched to the council room.

“What is the meaning of this?” Viserys asked.

“Your daughter felt neglected and decided to run away. Given that Sir Cole is, as ever, shit at his job, I thought it would be best to return her before she got into too much trouble.” Daemon said calmly as he sat back in his seat.

“Ridiculous! Seducing another princess into shame!” Otto snapped. Daemon turned to glare at him and Viserys could see the angry slap mark on his brother's face.

“I can assure you that it was not I that drove her out there. Perhaps if any of you recalled that Rhaenyra is not the only princess here, you may be able to keep her entertained. If I were you brother, I would fix the door to the side of the kitchen. I assume that is how she got out.” With that, he got to his feet and started to leave.

“Daemon. She said… she feels forgotten?” Viserys asked. Daemon sighed, his room at the pillow house would no doubt be given away by now, he would have to stay in his rooms at the keep.

Unimportant, forgotten, unloved.” Daemon said as he stopped and looked back at his brother who was fiddling with the marbled ball on the table before him.

“Will you do something for me?” He asked and Daemon sighed. 

“Whatever the king wishes.” He answered, grateful that only Otto seemed to have some issue with the events of the evening.

“We have several events, tourneys, feasts. Such… they are for her sister. Mending bridges between families, trying to encourage favour for Rhaenyra and her claim to the throne with the small folk. I fear (Y/N)’s feelings will only worsen over the next few months. Watch her. Look after her, and make sure she is not forgotten. If it were not too late then perhaps I could cancel and…” Viserys spoke as if he had suddenly realised he might lose his youngest and Otto immediately cut him off.

“Your grace. Daemon is a Ne'er-do-well. Find a nice young lord who will defend her honour…” Otto stepped back when Daemon took several steps towards him and Cole had to step in.

“DAEMON! Control yourself. Otto… I trust my brother to take care of (Y/N). Keep her safe, happy.” Viserys asked and Daemon inclined his head.

“You have my word. She shall be safe and happy.” He answered. Then he sighed and frowned. “She complained about not being allowed to ride the dragon that hatched for her.”

“Yes… Alicent does not like it. Her being alone up there.” Viserys answered as if he disagreed with the rule.

“Well, she shall not be alone up there so there is no need to worry. After all her sister was far younger when she first began flying Syrax.” Before Otto could say anything else Daemon marched out of the room and towards his own. He heard light giggling as he climbed the stairs and looked up to see you and Rhaenyra peering down at him through the bannisters. The giggling grew louder as he caught the two of you and you both hurried backwards out of sight.

“Goodnight.” He called which only caused a round of squeals to echo down the staircase followed by the slapping of bare feet on the floor as the two of you hurried to Rhaenyra’s room.

Daemon tags:

@the-caravello-post @killing-gremlin @aegonandaemondtargaryenslut18 @lchufflepuffcorn @lightqueen16 @savagemickey03 @evattude @kaitieskidmore1

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: Waterboarding, Shame Hi, today I just want to reach out for advice or resources. Me and my trauma specialist have ben working on EMDR as of recent. To say the least, it's shaken me up a bit. I feel bad because I can't get through even 5 seconds into the memory without crying, and it's really been weighing on me. I have been diagnosed with DID and CPTSD for many years (I don't need resources for DID because she helps us out a lot!). But, it's never gotten to the point that I stay awake at night thinking about what has happened to me, I feel on alert sleeping because i'm afraid of getting hurt and vunerable like that again. It's been many years since that has happened, but I think revisiting this as i'm older has shaken me up and regressed me in some way. I used to stay awake at night as a kid to my memory, and now i'm paranoid and restless like that again. I think i'm very shameful because I feel so raw, I can't realy get through a session without feeling in danger, which I guess is the CPTSD part of things. I'm just afraid of being behind everyone else regarding my healing journey. Are there any tips in helping with sleep, flashbacks, or just easing hypervigilance. I understand that being waterboarded isn't a common experience so I understand if you have no advice for me! If you got this far, thank you for reading!

Hey anon,

First, I want to just casually slide these CPTSD resources to you which I made for a podcast I run. On the Google slides, the beginning is more informational, the the second half is more regarding exercises and coping methods for CPTSD and related issues. The Google Docs link is to worksheets you can fill out for those exercises.

Those being sent, when it comes to CPTSD and healing, there is no such thing as being "behind" or "regressing," so long as you are moving forward in your journey. There will be periods of difficulty, times where having to face your trauma can make you feel like you're going backwards, but you need to remember that facing it means you are pushing forward. Healing is not a linear journey, and it looks different for everyone. There is no timeline, no standard, no healing quota to be met. You are doing so well, anon. Dealing with and struggling with CPTSD is not an easy feat, and EMDR is not meant to feel nice at first. The goal is to bring up trauma, to bring up traumatic feelings, and then to learn to manage it. The goal is to bring up the shit so that you can learn how to clean the litter box. Yeah, the shit may stink, but you can't learn to clean it if it isn't there.

As you go through this journey, make sure you're keeping in mind your healthy coping skills, grounding methods, and anchors. Try to maintain a sleep routine, even if it's difficult. Do the same thing before bed every night. Personally, I change, I get a cup of tea, I put my devices away, I journal a half hour, and then I meditate, and then I wash my face, brush my teeth, and lay down with some gentle music at the same time every night, and then I wake up at the same time every morning. Keeping yourself structured and finding ways to disconnect, get your thoughts and anxieties out of your head, and get your body calm before bed can help tremendously with sleep.

I hope this all helps anon. I wish you the best of luck.

~ Mod Night

[stuckinapril]

you literally give such good advice, like you give such wise big sister vibes/the woman in ur life you know thats older than you (or is just wise) and wish was ur sister!! Like ugh how are you so wise? im only a teen so i couldnt be that wise bc i havent lived that long but you help me see the world in such a beautiful way, i'm seeing beauty in everything now and im calmer, get more sleep, my mental health is better and im even doing better in school, you are truly an angel

i hope everything you want works out well for you, and both of your sides of the pillow are cold (or warm, whatever you'd like)

i hope to meet more people like you one day, i just wanted to reach out and say ty for sharing your thoughts on here for everyone to see because they're so beautiful and great! And they just help me sm everytime i see them

off topic but i SWEAR everytime im about to get upset or something weird happens i go on tumblr (coincidentally) because im overwhelmed and i go on my phone to cope, go on tumblr and see you on feed and im like why was i upset lmfao?

!!! absolutely no words. thank you so so much for your kindness. i always figured that anon would be a way to hide behind a mask and say absolutely horrible things; it never crossed my mind that there are people w such warm, burgeoning hearts out there that they’d use it as a means to drop in joy without expecting anything for it. i am actually blown away. this means more to me than u will ever know.

my anxiety (and just struggling to function in general) peaked when i was a teenager. it was a time i would’ve wanted nothing more than someone to reassure me that things would get better. so (at the risk of sounding very cheesy) now i strive to be that for people who need it, or genuinely just an outlet for anyone who wants to let out their thoughts bc i know that helps too. i’m literally just a 21 year old w raging female thoughts, still learning and messing up and re-learning and everything in-between, but i’m really glad my long-winded thinkpieces help u anon <3 like truly touched & grateful it had some sort of impact, however big or small it may be. will be ur big sister whom u could vent to always and forever. this is us

[v3nusxsky]

Hii, I love your writing and you're so very talented!!

Please, feel free to ignore this request if you don't feel comfortable writing it 😊

I was wondering if you could write a Lady Lesso x Never!Student platonic where the reader has depression. The reader has no motivation and everything seems like a chore - even eating. She would feel so terrible that she would phyically get sick and nauseous and tired all the time. The nights are the worst because her mind is plagued by dark thoughts, the nights seemed to never end, she's afraid she'll do something stupid so she rans down the hallway knocking on Lady Lesso's headquarters' doors.

She's afraid of Lady Lesso but she's afraid of herself even more.

I suffer from seasonal depression that lasts from like February to October and I'm tired already-

It gets to the point I even think things that aren't even true. Like... I'd mix reality and thoughs. For example - I'd be thinking my phone cracked and for some reason I'd believe it. I get so confused xD And I'd isolate myself from people not even caring. I wish I could feel bad because I stopped communicating with them but I just don't.

Hey lovely anon! <3 thank you so much for your support and kind words. I hope this is what you were looking for <3

Save me from myself

*Authors note| This seemed very fitting for my mood today so I absolutely have had a blast writing this.*

Trigger warnings~ food issues depression self harm the whole lot really

Prompt~see ask^^

Depression is a strange thing, especially when coupled with anxiety. It's like you have no energy to do anything but your brain is going a million miles a minute. Yet it makes perfect sense, your brain is whirling so many thoughts that it's draining all of your energy. Self care goes out the window, anything that really requires any physical emotional or mental energy goes too. Why does life have to be soo hard? It feels as though everything is getting on top of you and pushing you further and further back into this dark place.  The dark place being cold and lonely, two of the things you wished to not feel, yet they surround you all day every day.

Food isn't on your radar, even the thought of food makes you feel nauseous. All you want to do is sleep for the rest of eternity. Yet your mind refuses to allow that. You know that staying in doors, in bed, is not helping you. Yet getting up is much too difficult. Sleep seems to evade you. Taunting you as if it knows your desperation for it to claim you. The lack of food, sleep and your overwhelming feelings seem to control your everyday thought. You know it's wrong and that you should ask for help but the energy to do that is missing.

That's why you turned to an older coping mechanism. You didn't mean to. It was a moment of weakness and not one you had planned to do again. You felt guilt as sin. Yet when you did it god the numbness was something you craved. But you couldn't do that again, it was a dangerous path that was extremely hard for you to crawl your way back from. Scars littered your arms now and they served as a reminder, self harm was not and is not the way forward. So for days you focused so hard on not giving into the urge, it was draining you but at least it worked.

As a never it felt wrong to even consider reaching out for help, it was weakness. Never's aren't weak. Weakness got you in a vulnerable space, something you really can't afford. Yet for some reason you had bonded rather well with the one and only Dean of Evil. Your recent slip into your seasonal depression had you pulling away from Leonora, something she didn't take too well. At first she assumed you were unwell, after all no one can stay in perfect health all the time, but soon it became apparent something darker was lurking behind your dorm room door. Something perhaps you were trying to hide. She trusted in you to find her when you felt ready, she had told you day or night she would be there for you and had truly meant every word.

Tonight, you broke. Fighting this battle alone was terrifying, and you didn't trust yourself to not fall back into that bad habit, you knew what would happen if you stayed in the room alone. You knew where to find your collection of sharp objects and how your control would dwindle fast just by the sight of them. You could feel the sensations of them on your skin. This was dangerous territory and you knew it. So without thinking you fled. Seeing the outside of your dorm for the first time in days. The candle light seemed awfully too bright and overwhelming from what you remember, was it always this cold? Briefly, you considered going back to hibernate under your blankets and just wait this out, but the sensations on your arm reminding you just how much of a terrible idea it truly was. So you ran.

Your body mindlessly taking you to your safe place, your home. Before you even knew it you were up the hall standing outside of Lesso's chambers. A luxury only had been given, for this exact reason. Yet here you stood, willing yourself to stay put and knock. Yet your mind was telling you to go back to the room and give in. Give in to the demon that plagued you. You need it. But you don't want it. And that's what makes you knock. Small timid knocked in a carefully designed pattern alerted the older women of your presence. And when that door opened, you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces.

This was absolutely terrifying, but you were more scared of your own mind right now. Your body reacting instantly by seeing the women, you threw yourself in her direction causing your body to slam into hers. Sobs tore through your body as she brought her arms around your quivering form. At this point you didn't know what was real and what was in your mind. Was she holding you? The words you hear, are the created by your mind? You didn't know, and truthfully you didn't care right now. You needed her and she was here, in person or in your mind , but that didn't matter. She was here when you needed her just as she had promised to be.

Soon enough you had settled on her sofa in front of the fire being cocooned by her strong arms and words of reassurance and encouragement being whispered into your hair as you let it all out. Tears and muffled apologises for pushing her away, hurting yourself and not being strong enough. Each and every fear she squashed and by the end of it you had snuggled closer and fallen into the first restful sleep you'd had in god knows how long.

Word count~ 1170

[giggly-squiggily]

i hope your demon slayer prompts aren’t filling up for the hc to drabbles event! but i had a funny hc that douma can’t take what he dishes out and when he challenges everyone to a tickle fight, the only one to take the challenge is kokushibo since he decides to humor him and laughs when douma talks smack only to lose the fight he instigated. if the prompts are filled for demon slayer, you don’t have to do my hc to drabble request! :)

Lee!Douma!!! We love to see it! I've gotcha covered, anon! :D

“Boo!” Douma cheered from behind, jabbing his fingers into Kokushibou’s ribs. “I challenge you to a tickle duel!”

“...” Kokushibou slowly turned to look at him, blinking once, then twice. Eventually. “Alright.”

“Ooh?” Douma looked taken aback, grinning as Koku fully faced him. “My first real contender! How lucky am I to witness the great Kokushibou laughing beneath my fingers~” To his delight, Kokushibou smiled at him, something rare entering his gaze; a look of competitiveness.

“We’ll see about that.”

~~~

“As expected.”

“Aheahhahhahahahaha! Whahahit hold on, hoohohohld ohohohohon!” Douma was a mess of laughter, squirming this way and that beneath the older demon’s quick fingers. “Iihiihihhi’m suhuhuhuhpposed to be tihihihihickling yohohohohohoohu!”

“Are you? I must have missed the memo.” Kokushibou moved one hand to the back of Douma’s neck while the other carried on scribbling his spine, earning a series of cackles and squeals. “Well- you’re certainly welcome to try. Come now- show me what you can do.”

Douma reached out to grab his knee, but his arm immediately retracted when Kokushibou poked along his armpit. “No fahhahahhahahahir! Lehehhehet me tihihiihihckle yoohohoohohu!”

“If I let you, it wouldn’t be much of a duel.” The swordsman flipped him on his back, dancing his fingers along his ribcage and earning a series of high pitched “MEEHEHEHEHE!”s. “If you wish to strike me down, you must earn it yourself. Otherwise I’ll be the guaranteed winner.”

“Ehehehhehehe! Mmmph- MMMM!” Douma squeezed his lips shut in hopes that it would lessen the tickling. It did not. “PFFT-GEHAHAHAHHAHA! FIHIHINE THEHEHEN!” With a new sense of determination, he reached out to squeeze Kokushibou’s lower ribs with all his might.

“Hee!” The older demon wheezed. Victory!

Then he flipped Douma back over on his stomach and returned to his spine. So close!

“KOHOHOHOHOHKUSHIHIHIHIBOU!” He shrieked as his lower back was assaulted, nails dragging against the thin material of his shirt.

“A good effort. You almost had me.” The older demon laughed, a rare sight for all to see. “Wish to try again?”

Send me a headcanon and I'll write a dabble for it!

[jovenshires]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

oh my god........ im emotional fr. this was so, so, SO much fun and stella, i will speak for EVERYONE you sent these asks to when i say that we are all so grateful to YOU for organizing it. you brought the community together in such an amazing way, asking us thought-provoking and interesting questions, a lot of which i never would have thought to ask. and yet i got to learn all my mutuals' answers anyway!!! it made me feel like i really got to know everyone, even the people im too scared to start a convo with bc i am a Coward. i love you, we all adore you, thank you SO much, and i cant wait to see where smoshblr goes in the new year now that we are all closer than ever <3<3<3<3<3

okay so...... okay okay okay okay HERE we go. im gonna put it under the cut bc this got SO long but if you want a tl;dr summary, please by all means go check out this video i made at the beginning of the month bc. it sums it up tbh.

making all of my amazing friends: i am literally. an emotional wreck just thinking ab this. anyway. i've already been sappy enough this year (from my christmas presents to my many many personal posts and asks that are just. me talking about how much i love these people), but i would still be remiss if i didn't mention my beautiful, wonderful friends. im not gonna tag them all here - it'd be too many and you all know who you are <3<3<3 - but to everyone i've dmed for hours on end, or talked to in replies, or mutuals i've never even spoken to at all, or anons who come into my askbox and just have the most wonderful interactions with me, i am so, so eternally grateful. i made new friends; i reconnected with one of my best friends in the WHOLE world; i met some people who i never would have spoken to otherwise and found such an incredible community. i love you all so so SO much (yes ALL of you even if you think im not talking ab you if you're reading this i AM), and i am so excited to see what happens with all of us next. love you all. mwah. <3

domo day/my birthday: oh my god. OHHHH my god. literally the fic that brought me back to this fandom. i am not crying its fine im FINE. domo - aka dancing on my own - was a passion project from the very start. i thought, 'well, no one will wanna read this niche lil fic that im writing just to deal with My very personal trauma about an rpf ship that no one cares about.' (mind you i started it before i even posted right side, so, like, i literally thought it was just me standing on a deserted island.) and then five or six months later... there we were. i posted it on my birthday (bc i Live for drama !) and god. the amount of love and support i got that day was... everything to me. when i said this was a passion project, i mean that it was truly one of the first things i sat down and wrote For Myself, without giving a fuck what anyone else would think. it was something i poured my heart and soul into because i needed to read it. and when other people started to reach out - telling me how much they related, how much they got from it, how much it meant to them. then there was the analyses of it from everyone,,,, not to mention the birthday love. my birthday is a HUGE thing for me, and, as i told you at the time, you were the very first person to wish me a happy birthday stella (with that incredible moodboard that i think of frequently........ the rat.........). and then kit went and published bad idea and gifted it to ME which was such an incredible and treasured gesture and... truly some of my irls forgot to wish me a happy birthday so. im just so honored and i love you all so much. thank you for loving me and my dearest darling daughter domo <333333

shaynse day: this literally isn't even about me, it's honestly about nat, but this changed my brain chemistry and i think everybody's tbh. it was the way that the MOMENT the love is blind video dropped, we all gathered around my blog to hold hands, sing kumbaya, and all hail the shaynse anon (aka now shaynse founder nat). they had their third eye OPEN. and everyone had to come check on them to make sure they were okay. that meant so much to me. not only did it mean that enough people were reading my blog that an anon had their own niche subset of a fan base, but it was truly like. one of the best displays of fandom togetherness i've ever seen. we were all so united that day. god bless november 19th, aka shaynse day, my FAVORITE national holiday.

gedits: i really Dont think i have to explain this one. this is one of my favorite bits (but also its not really a bit and i genuinely wanna fuck that old man). making thirst traps for garrett? oh my god. stroke of actual genius. once again another day we all came together, held hands, and decided we were ALL gonna be garrett fuckers. long live gedits. they will never stop and im NOT sorry about it.

the bsf fan art: i have literally never had fan art made for my fic before...... i screamed and cried and threw up when someone made fan art for the bed-sharing fic. furry-jackson is my hero and this fan art lives in my mind RENT FUCKING FREE. it truly imprinted itself on my brain and i think about it all the time. thanks so much to them for loving i could be the reason as much as i do <3333

the top ten dynamics poll: !!!!! my baby!!!! i truly thank you all so much for indulging me by voting in that silly lil poll. it was so SO interesting to see the way the dynamics stacked up. not to mention, it also got me into gif-making again!! that was the first time i'd made gifs in ages, especially gifs i was proud of. but i love that silly lil gif series so much, one of my favorite projects of the year, so thank you all <3

smoshblr december asks: i mean. i said it all up top, but it's worth mentioning again. this was so, so, SO much fun, and it must have been such hard work for you, and i am honored that you did all this work for US of all people when you are so busy and talented and working so hard just in like. YOUR LIFE. honestly, this whole section could just be called 'stella,' bc i am so, so grateful for you especially coming into my life this year. whether we're working together on fic or just chatting about our lives or shouting back and forth about why EVERY taylor swift song is in fact a spommy song, i am just so lucky to have you and i love you so, so much. you always tolerate my shenanigans and i am SO incredibly lucky to have you as a friend. anyway. yeah i love you and smoshblr december asks so there.