#i wish that was true that’d be such a funny response to not including a weevil

[hearnoweevil]

For the record, my experience is that people in NZ love finding maps without New Zealand. It delights them. It's just funny that they also have a very long weevil

That is so funny I love that

[jae-canikeepyou]

| muse | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: art student!jaehyun + art student!yn

a/n: thought this on a whim whilst reminiscing my art portfolio, so we’ll see how you’ll like this with yuno in it. not the best i’ve written but hope you enjoy reading 💞😉 ~j

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with jaehyun, there were three things that happened uncontrollably. one was he caused your heart to skip; two, your chest to feel all giddy; and three, your stomach to capsize. why you may ask? it was his very presence in the art academy which had heads turning and lips to whisper words of awe. he was labelled and called a prodigy.

be it in any medium of art, he was blessed to have such a talent that his parents thought it’d be a waste if not enhanced or put attention to. even your professors favored him and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t jealous. despite his princely looks, he could sometimes be a total snob. he’d be in a good mood the first hour and then changed completely in the next. oh the duality, you couldn’t understand him at all.

though question marks continued to fill your head, let’s just say you had a tad advantage compared to girls who were overly thirsting for him; he was your classmate, a major in fine arts. sometimes you unconsciously found yourself sniffing his perfume each time he helped you with the shading of portrait drawings you worked upon. he was that close. as much as you loved seeing him almost every day, you hated at the fact you still didn’t know the ways to calm your loving facial expression towards him.

it was a funny sight —at least to your friends— that they could see how elongated your nose grew every time you deny your feelings for him. yet as time passed the possibility of your admiration might turn into romantic feelings instead. there wasn’t a need to prove to you since your friends have pointed it out already.

but you yourself wasn’t too sure about it.

“please,” hyejin popped with a huge round of an eyeroll at your oblivion. legs crossed as she chewed her bubblegum. “y/n, admit that you like him. it isn’t that hard to say out loud.”

other students, including your studio tutor held in their giggles in the midst of the silence within the room. true enough hyejin was the mood maker.

her words made you stop painting the colours that were meant to accentuate the highlights of the subject. “i’m not like you who’s very expressive in words.” you replied, taking few peeks at your surroundings in case anyone eavesdrop.

hyejin wasn’t supposed to be in the studio today. she was a literature student where writing poetry was her forte. but because your tutor appreciated her effort to promote the visual arts department in the school paper, her going to the studio with you became a normal thing.

“it doesn’t have to be in words. like, i don’t know? paint some canvas and pour out your feelings through colours? yellow’s joy or purple’s dazzling or red is love-” she stopped as you gave her an annoyed gaze. “i’m sure he’ll get it. he’s not called a prodigy for nothing.”

“painting is not done on a whim, hyejin.” you emphasised, not noticing the stress put upon your work. “it takes time and thinking and creativ-”

“yeah yeah,” she made her bubble burst, which by the way irritated you since it gave off the impression that she wasn’t listening to you at all. “abstract seems so random though. no thinking there.”

you pointed the brush at her, yet careful enough that it doesn’t touch her nose. if another word comes from her mouth, you wouldn’t hesitate staining it. “sis, shapes are used instead of virtual reality, so abstract still needs thinking. you just express it differently.” hearing this, hyejin paused for a while before deciding which reaction to give, and with that you were satisfied into silencing her for a while. “now you know how i feel when i don’t understand shakespeare’s ‘love looks not with eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind’.”

she let out a scoff, “pfft, you’re the cupid in that quote. you can’t even see that you like mr. prodigy so much.”

jaehyun gently opened the door and handed a paper slip to the tutor, which apparently was a doctor’s certificate. due to his arrival, hyejin elbowed you so hard that its force caused you to jolt in your seat then knocking two of the glassed jars placed on the narrow deck of your easel.

the tutor looked at your direction, and lowered his specs at the noise. flustered than you ever were in your entire life, you took the dust pan. you tried your best to not match eyes with jaehyun who was now smiling from second hand embarrassment. at farthest decibel your ears could handle, you could hear hyejin sneering with huffed laughs.

“i’m gonna kill you.” you mouthed from a table away and gave her a warning look. you gestured the phrase, followed by a scowl to refer her teasing tongue.

“i’ll help, y/n.” jaehyun offered, but you assured him it was fine. “what’re you working on?” he asked as you both walked back to the tables, he took out his tools and unfinished work.

this time was the season of cramming hours into a tight schedule, there were many initial stages/assignments due and portfolios to be completed. you guessed it was natural for you both to update each other regarding progress. “just giving more highlights and tweaks, then i’ll start on the portraits.”

he only pressed a smile, a breathy chuckle as a response while he focused on his art. “do you still need my help on shading?”

“i think i got the hang of it. thanks.” you damped the brush with water.

“alright, if you need me, i’m just here.”

your eyes shot down to your pockets, quickly answering the phone to quiet down the “supposedly” soundless vibration. and you wished you didn’t fished out the device if you knew that the message was from hyejin.

[18:45] hyejin: damn it y/n, confess already! 🤪

[18:45] you: if you could shut up maybe i will?? i could hear your voice haunting me 🙃

[18:46] hyejin: if there’s no progress today, i’m so gonna take action & tell him myself 😌

[18:47] you: ugh anything but that pls 😣

the thing with being associated with the arts was that time immediately had gone passed when you’re so concentrated. everything else faded away and in that momentum, it was just the art and you. jaehyun felt this once he picked up his brush or pencil. voices in his head whispered and guided him what to do with the creativity still yet to be shown in the world.

among all the students he bonded with, there was one whom perked his interest..

you.

as mentioned, his current surroundings blurred whilst he was sucked into another dimension of concentration. but you went there with him and appeared clear. seemed a scene out of an alternate reality in his perspective, or dramatic to some people. he was intrigued.

since knowing you, he expected to sought this mutual interest deeper. if he was the beautiful, detailed canvas everyone saw in an exhibition, you were the opposite; abstract, unpredictable and rough, someone who was overlooked because others couldn’t understand the depths and entirety of you.

finishing the last layer of the painting, you stretched to sooth the numbness. the professor reminded about the last few minutes before wrapping up the class and, he handed the room keys to you. for this tutorial, students have the choice to stay behind or leave. hyejin left with the others, leaving you alone with jaehyun. whether she did that on purpose, she’d do anything to let you be alone with him.

“oh? you’re done with yours?” jaehyun shifted sideways to take a better view of your work. he looked satisfied with the way his dimples hollowed. “hm. my advise is effective.”

“yeah, you’re a life saver.” you sighed as you looked at how completed the artwork was, then trailing your eyes to him again.

“i’m proud of you.” he winked, only to blush afterwards when his stomach growled. “i wish you didn’t hear that.”

coincidently, you tossed your wallet in the air. “good timing, i’m just about to head out to the cafeteria. want anything? my treat because you helped me.” you extolled with your mood in completely positivity. jaehyun became your inspiration and for now you weren’t able to bring yourself to tell him that.

hopefully soon though— when you have the courage.

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the sleepiness in your eyes only needed ten percent more to push your lids down, the queue was unexpectedly long at this hour. it was only until minutes later had you known that another department organised a party nearby. the wait for the order would be troublesome; that’d be in the fact there were girls right behind, their gaze burning into your skin as if you were an enemy of theirs. and somehow you knew,

they might be jaehyun’s admirers.

they whispered to each other, words audible enough for your hearing and you pretended to be listening to music.

and how you wished you should’ve.

“do you know why jaehyun took fine arts?” one asked.

an intrigued response caught you walking on a tight rope. this can’t be good. “sounds like you know the reason.”

“it’s been spreading around recently..” there was a pause that had you wondering even if you knew you shouldn’t believe in any of rumours from them. “i heard the studio has this session to draw the human body and the figures. like y’know.. no clothes?”

sigh, there wasn’t even any classes for those this semester, you thought.

few giggles were heard before they spoke again. “you’re saying he’s perverted?”

“maybe? i wouldn’t be surprised if it were true.”

“isn’t that kinda hot? his eyes starting into-”

you nearly dropped jaehyun’s food and trip over an extension wire hearing that. breathing slowly and steadily, you convinced yourself that what you heard was false. he wasn’t the type of guy they assumed he was.

as much as you wanted to prove them wrong, it wasn’t your place to speak out when the friendship you have with him was not to the level of best friends. so you rushed back to the studio, not noticing your blown-away hair and burning face. what was amusing after hearing the tea, you didn’t know why you reacted in that manner. did you leave because you couldn’t stand eavesdropping any longer? or did you run due to the fact the fantasies they had were about to enter your mind?

the door was opened with a force that jaehyun looked up from his work, smiling at your quick purchase. “whoa careful there. you didn’t have to run.” he chuckled and went to your table. he took his favourite spicy cake and placed it on top heavily. the force he exerted with his hands was the total opposite to when he dealt with art. somewhere in you, you’d say it was a 0.1 percent a turn-off.

“hey, it’s food. handle with care, it’s a blessing.” you said, munching on your share of the dishes.

jaehyun clasped his palms together, bowed his head and closed his eyes. he faced you and you sat there with a confused look. “thank you y/n, you’re an angel for treating me.”

soon after, you received a message from your professor about taking out some of the tools needed for tomorrow. holding the sandwich wrap between your lips, you took a closer look at the right keys before unlocking the storage room, opening the door afterwards.

it was at least the size of two toilet cubicles, not even close to a room’s walk-in closet. the thin cabinets against both sides of the wall were two feet, and the remaining space in the middle could fit a person’s leg, stretched out. the new set of canvases were placed on the top shelf. for someone like you, it wasn’t possible to reach them on tiptoes. you grabbed a chair and stacked two tins of paint for your feet to stand upon.

if you still couldn’t reach them.. eh, bummer. disturbing jaehyun who was enjoying his meal would be rude. you weren’t that type of person to suddenly feel as if you were already close to someone. the icky and dusty feeling on your fingertips nearly had you gagging.

“jaehyun?” you called out, apparently you’ve given up in trying another attempt. “i need a hand.”

there was a long pause as to why he didn’t respond immediately. maybe you should’ve have disturbed him? but you soon rolled your eyes when a mannequin’s hand was thrown to you. his snickers was supposedly an adorable thing to hear, this kind of wasn’t, because you desperately needed help now. “jeong jaehyun!”

he hummed right after you mentioned his name the second time. “i’m just messing around. but does that mean you’ll treat me again? i helped you.” his voice sounding with excitement.

you nodded, your anger long forgotten but he could tell there was conflict in your head. “i’ll consider it, so help me before i smack you with this plastic hand.” your tone slightly straining since you didn’t feel him entering the room.

“yeah. coming.” he said, giggling at your impatience. as you tried to reach out for the canvases again, the light behind you slowly dimmed.

that was weird. “hey, it’s getting dark in here.” you said.

before he could say anything, the door slowly closed and that made you raise a brow. he noticed this too and looked into your eyes when the light within the room soon disappeared. “ah sorry, i must’ve kicked the door stopper.” even in the dark, you could tell he was flustered from his actions. “i’ll open it.”

however his groans and vigorous sounds from the door knob stated otherwise. “what?” you heard him raise his voice.

“what’s wrong?” you hopped off the tins and grabbed the knob, twisting it clockwise then anti-clockwise. “it’s jammed.”

you both panicked because the night wasn’t getting any younger. there were things to finish and deadlines were drawing closer. before, you thought of procrastinating even when necessary. but procrastinating like this wasn’t part of the plan.

how was it possible for the knob to be jammed? the door wasn’t closed in an impact that would cause its components to be broken. sure jaehyun was reckless and couldn’t control his strength but that really wasn’t the issue here.

the actual issue was that you were going be stuck with him for who knows until when. stuck in a sense there were just enough space for two people. jaehyun fumbled his pockets in search of his phone, an annoyed groan told you it was bad news. “call someone. my battery just died and my powerbank’s outside.”

quickly you fished out your phone, only to find that it had the same fate. “ugh i have 10% left.” you slumped your sides to the shelves like there was no hope. “i’ll try to text hyejin.”

“hm i hope she’s not too far from the campus.” jaehyun leaned against the shelves opposite from you, his expression definitely amused with your reaction. a scoff of disbelief escaped your dry lips, sliding the phone to the shelf as you put your hair on one side. “that doesn’t sound good. what did she say?”

for all the things hyejin could do to help you get out of there, she’d rather sit and tease every single nerve of your body. “she said ‘you both just made your own seven minutes in heaven! i’m laughing out loud right now.’”

and for the things you thought jaehyun would disagree with your friend, he didn’t. it surprised you when his held-in giggles came bursting out from his chest. “it’s exciting. don’t you think?” he chuckled. “this is something you see in movies.”

“okay. tell me, what’s exciting about being locked-”

“we can ask each other questions. or any topic you’d like to talk about. i wanna know more about you.” he suggested, shutting you up because if he didn’t, you’d be quite a complainer. jaehyun bent to a squat, later stretching his legs until the soles reached the sides of your hips. “i rarely get the chance to talk to you properly and i guess this is the day, so scoot over.” he gestured you to move aside a little.

“gee i wonder why?” your voice came out sarcastically. “i don’t ignore people unlike a certain someone.”

“just sit down, will you?” jaehyun seemed to take the fact to heart.

you complied and sat exact the same as he did. the tiled floor sent cool to your legs but it didn’t really matter. jaehyun began by asking how you got into art; what motivated you to choose this field. “it’s just a childhood dream of mine to keep expanding my creativity. i wanna teach kids the joy in paint, that we’re not limited to using tools. i started painting with my hands and fingers when i was five.”

“really? i’m the same, except i was three when i painted.” his dimples deepening.

though you did answer him, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him the whole story. you were just par in the arts, an average joe and always felt like your professors tied your wings together to express what you really wanted. every proposal you presented were rejected. if lucky, it still wasn’t good enough. not enough to reach jaehyun’s standards and world.

his shoes hit your hips again, the nudges were light and made you look to him. “your turn.” he said.

your eyes wander the dark room, the thin light from the sides of the door showing the outline of his face. “is it good? being called something you never wanted to be? did you know you’re gifted as a kid?”

“do you want my honest opinion?” he brought one leg to his chest, forearm resting on it as he start to ponder. hearing the soft shuffles from you in agreement, he gulped his dry throat to say the one thing he longed to say.

“i don’t like it.”

beyond speechless. you thought maybe he’d like the feeling of being center of attraction, or praised to have a skill that was out of this world. while you’d like to know what it felt like, it already told you enough that he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a prodigy. “not even a single bit?” alarmed, you squinted your eyes and he shook his head.

“i used to like it at first.. now i don’t,” jaehyun admitted but his face had changed the moment you asked him the one thing he never wanted to look back. “..because i was set apart from kids my age and they view me differently, nor have they ever treated me like every kid in the block.“

he continued how parents would tell him he was ‘inspiring’ or ‘i wish i had a kid like you; dedicated, and talented’. the claim have made him proud, yet this caused insecurity to most of his friends, and they distanced themselves from him. what was once the same ground they stood upon, it had quaked the earth and caused a wide gap. jaehyun hated the feeling of isolation by the will of others. though he had tried many times to reach out to them..

the gap continued to widen.

“there’s not much of a difference now.” he whispered yet audible enough for you to hear. ”i still have less friends. countable with fingers.. on one hand.”

probably the reason why he looked like a snob then.

“i see. so am i?.. part of your ‘friends’?” he heard you ask when reality hits you that you shouldn’t have said your thoughts out loud. closing your eyes for a bit, you heard the shift in his weight, he didn’t answer right away. it was as if he was still finding the words.

but he sat right beside you. “you’re already one when we both entered this classroom. i had a hunch you’ll be one i’ll treasure.”

if anyone was told the way he did just now, it would definitely make them smile. that was his honest opinion and you couldn’t help but smile at his words. he seemed to notice this too and let out a chuckle that was always music to your ears. “should we try to open the door again?” you changed the topic to avoid the awkward smile creeping your face. your hands gripped the knob and jaehyun tugged the hems of your jeans.

“y/n, if you do it further we’ll be damned if hyejin couldn’t open from the outside.” he stood that he was already behind you. “i’m not stopping you from trying though.”

“f-fine.” you leaned against the door, soothing your legs that experienced paresthesia. jaehyun pat your head like he always did whenever you unintentionally embarrass yourself, be it art or not whatsoever. “i just can’t seem to stay still.” oh gosh i don’t know what i’d do if i’m alone with him.

“yeah clearly.” he shrugged.

you had a scowled face and glad he didn’t see it. “the place’s so cramped-” you continued, walking to the chair you once stood on, only to lose balance when the shelves you held for support gave in to collapse from the weight it carried. with weight, the whole furniture wobbled to fall.

in a split second you felt yourself being lifted off the ground, a strong arm wrapping around your frame and saw yourself at the opposing side of the room. jaehyun closed into you as he managed to stop the some items from falling. the entire body of the cabinet covered and trapped you both in a tight place. the furniture tilted right behind him. one small move, the items could injure two and he didn’t want to risk that.

he could feel your breath touch his shirt and with the way you held his clothes, you definitely didn’t see this coming. “are you okay?” he thought there was a possibility of squishing you.

“uncomfortable, but i’ll manage.. somehow.” you honestly replied because there was no point in lying to him.. physically speaking, he’d know what you feel since he himself was also in discomfort. anyway, with your answer, this marked the third silence as there was another one creating yet another gap in the conversation.

okay y/n. you told yourself. you made everything awkward than before. first was you asked whether you were friends, which you already were. second was your stupid and careless behaviour that led to the position you’re both in now.

“what about you?” you asked after seeing the huge frame towering over both of your bodies, mostly onto his. so maybe that was another unnecessary question to ask.

jaehyun gulped and fixed his one of his palms that he gripped on the shelf behind you. you could see his adam’s apple move up and down, struggling to breathe. he pushed backwards to be able to see your face. tilting his head down, that movement alone made you look up. “uncomfortable, but i’ll somehow manage.” he smiled even though you knew he wasn’t.

“you know you’ll earn zero marks if you copy my answer.” you giggled, remembering the professor’s words at the beginning of the semester.

he flicked your forehead as he agreed with the obvious statement. “i heard him. anyway, it’s my turn to ask.”

“are we really playing the game now? can we at least try to figure how to get out of this position?” you began to whine and threw your head back where you hit your head, and you didn’t care how shameful you felt. you knew you wouldn’t stand any longer, your legs started to weaken because of stress— stress from everything jaehyun managed to make you feel, that included the little smiles and especially his hand around your waist.

jaehyun didn’t know why he put his palms behind your head before the incident happened but he knew he had to, with the way you flustered so much. he figured that you weren’t used to situations like these.

however a memory slipped into his mind that you were always your usual self with other guys around. he noticed how you held or hiccuped a breath whenever you both conversed. you and him weren’t particularly close to begin with, just enough to pass as friends and maybe it was his love for art that brought that gap closer to you.

right now? perhaps too close. literally.

“why not? it gets more fun.” he tried to hide the smile creeping his lips; at the sight of how irritated you were beneath him and he actually considered your plead to get you both to safety. but maybe he’d like to enjoy a little bit before doing so. “besides, there’s no way we can move properly with a lot of things blocking our surroundings.”

on both sides, the two of you were encased with large items and materials that were affected by the impact. “tsk.” you tilted your head to avoid looking at him. “at least try to push the huge cabinet?”

he did as he was told and from the grunts and exhausted voice, jaehyun gave up trying. “i don’t think i can. something’s probably caught in the gap between the wall and the furniture.” he tried to look over his shoulder to see if he was right.

“i thought prodigies don’t give up.” your voice sounded challenging to him.

“within the spectrum of our skill, we don’t. but outside our gift, we have the choice to.” jaehyun flicked your forehead again. “we get tired too.”

there was less force against your torso, he was trying to push the furniture again and you bubbled out a giggle. “wow you aren’t as cool as i thought you were.”

jaehyun wanted to hit you as you were being too playful at the wrong time. but as he brought his hand up, you closed your eyes shut to brace for the sharp impact. he sighed and his stomach growled in the most embarrassing way yet. “ugh, it’s because i haven’t eaten enough. i don’t have any strength left.” his stomach then growled louder.

maybe it was due to your bodies against each other’s and the heat starting to roam around the room. jaehyun clicked his tongue at the continuous mimicking of yours. “c’mon y/n i can’t be the only one doing the work here. help me push this heavy thing behind me.”

“uh no? do you think i could even help? don’t make me uncomfortable than i’m already am.” you moaned at the pain starting to grow along your spine. arching your back to avoid the discomfort from the shelves wasn’t really a good idea.

“ah you’re uncomfortable?” he implored with a smirk, his voice quite menacing as he leaned in to squeeze you between the cabinet behind you and himself.

for the whole time jaehyun knew that you didn’t mean whatever you said. he loved how you surprise him everyday and tonight he found you quite cheeky, and adorable too. by quite, it meant that you were like a child wanting to go home. a huff from him felt like the gust of wind. “‘i don’t have any strength left’.” you copied his words. seeing his lips pout, it was alright to give in. “will you treat me food if i help?” you returned the question because you treated him.

“you’re lucky you’re cute.” he suddenly said, with a soft chuckle, you knew he was smiling. it had gotten you speechless that it was hard to tell whether he said knowingly or not. “we can buy what the other wants after we get out of here, okay?” his attempt to get the wood off him yet again failed.

you clapped your hands quite hyperactively and squealed as if he asked you out on a date. “oh yay! okay. i wouldn’t want to be rained on for another hour anyway.” you teased, in which he exhaled heavily from his nostrils.

“i’m not that sweaty.” he grumbled, almost vibrating with the exertion of his energy.

“just perspiring.” you added.

he hit your head with his, for sure you’ll have a prominent bruise and that would make you a victim for hyejin for the next few days. or tonight, if she would get you both out. “that’s the same meaning.”

it took less than two minutes to take the weight off his back. jaehyun saw everything in slow motion— he was falling backwards and you, frontwards. “whoa!” for a moment you thought you hit yourself on a wall. that was for a brief second before the impact was replaced by a warm hug.

you checked if he was okay, he became your safe fall and again he saved you when you didn’t ask for it. “i didn’t expect.. i’m sorry.” you pressed your lips realising you were in between his legs.

he hissed at the pain and sat tiredly on the floor, using all of the fabrics of his clothes to wipe the sweat. “it’s okay.” he patted your back.

“right.. this is awkward. i better get off..” you chuckled and dusted your clothes awkwardly but what he said next really caught you off guard.

“do you want to do it?” he queried, taking you back as your head shot up and hit his chin with your forehead.

you blinked several times. “d-do what?” is this another question i won’t be able to answer?

there was a shaky grip on your waist, your heart hammered and you were afraid that he would hear it. “y’know what i’m talking about.” he put the hair strands away so he would be able to see your face under the lines of slim light.

“i don’t?” you choked on your own saliva. what was he talking about?

jaehyun’s breath made you freeze on the spot, along sudden silence. he giggled softly. “such a waste, you even have a perfect body.”

then the conversation from the two girls at the cafeteria entered your mind right when you thought deep. hold on, the rumours can’t be true..

he stood up shortly, cornering you by the door and the lights revealed his eyes, smiling shyly. “you have perfect proportions.” as of now, you were a little nervous. you couldn’t process what you were hearing from your crush’s lips and looked away where you could see hyejin’s figure closing the studio’s door.

finally hyejin’s here. i have to tell him. “uh jaehyu-”

“can you be my model?” he held your hands.

oh shoot it is true?

“i need someone to pose for my next art portrait and you’re the only one i can ask.”

‘well aren’t you quite the deep thinker~’ you could imagine hyejin’s voice telling you off at the back of your mind. you shook your head and shut your eyes for her imaginary presence to go away, making you miss seeing jaehyun’s expression turn to a small pout.

suddenly you felt like your soul left your body. what were you thinking y/n?! erase the thought! cleanse your mind from what you heard from the girls!

now you stopped being an embarrassment, you looked at him. however, before you could answer, the door swung open, causing you both to fall over and adjust to the lights above you. hyejin looked down at the two of you, her bubblegum popping with brows raised. “girl, i texted you back and said i’m opening the door. didn’t you see- oh, did i come at the wrong time?”

jaehyun quickly got on his toes, ears turning red while you covered your face in embarrassment. “this is a misunderstanding hyejin!” he stuttered and fixed his collar. you dug for your phone to check the message, but it died long before.

she blew another bubble and popped. “mhm, i can see that.” she winked at the both of you and turned to leave.

“hyejin!” you whined and clung on her legs.

“i’m leaving!” she singsonged and shook her ankles like you were a bug. “i’m giving you more alone time with your muse!”

“oh my g- you!” you chased her down. “quiet!”

she laughed cheekily and managed to exit the studio, sticking out her tongue and pointed behind you. ‘walk home with him!’ hyejin mouthed, and you couldn’t be more annoyed with her because that was indeed true. what was once a wishful thinking became reality. she knew you more than you did yourself.

as you sighed heavily, it got you hitching a breath that jaehyun might’ve heard and saw the whole thing. you turned around and he was packing his stuff, yours included. the artworks were left untouched since you both would be back here tomorrow. he gave your bag and you chose to not talk because you didn’t have the audacity to do. “so, uh. what were you saying earlier?” you hoped he would forget what he just saw.

“oh y-yeah. lemme just-” he took a deep breath and looked into your eyes. “..rephrase it- wait i’m your muse?”

of course he wouldn’t forget, it just happened. damn you, hyejin! you slouched on a nearby chair and wore your hood. “i was hoping you wouldn’t find out so soon.”

“i’m flattered. thanks.” his dimples hollowed. “i was asking if you could be my reference for my next art piece..” he trailed off recalling that you declined. “..though you shook your head quickly than i thought.”

“huh i did?” your voice affirming. “oh gosh i think i did.. i’m sorry i was hearing hyejin in my head when you said that.”

jaehyun’s eyes widened when all he heard was pure honesty from you. “so will you do it for me?”

“as long as i wear clothes while at it.” you consented with your arms crossed and began to feel heat spread your whole body at the thought of the rumour.

walking along the hallway, only the sounds of shoes grazing the carpet echoed the area. you didn’t know what else to say. he brought you to the nearest convenient store where the campus’ one was closed at the hour. the food you bought turned cold and you couldn’t afford to get sick because of it.

he pulled the chair for you to sit on. “you heard them as well.” he placed his bag down. he was aware of the rumours found around and was shocked to know you knew them too. “they’re not true.”

you propped your chin as he went back to the topic. “i know.” you agreed to his words. “they don’t describe you at all.”

jaehyun sat comfortably, a smirk appearing. “me being your muse fits the description-”

this guy.. “please don’t bring that up.” you pleaded with hands clasped.

“i’m teasing.” he chuckled. “i don’t mind if you refuse want to be my model.” he said. “but i assure i’m not like other artists who paints their naked model. i have a better plan for you.”

he was trying to convince you into his world and you were slowly getting into it. “that’s like saying you really want me to.” you took your wallet and he followed suit.

“what’s wrong with wanting to paint my new muse?” he slid his chair closer to the table; closer so he could see your reactions to his honesty.

when he said that, you never turned away so fast in your life. your chest never thumped so loudly and your eyes fluttered while he continued to press onto his question. 

an assuring smile showed on your lips and he mirrored it, already knowing your response. “nope, nothing wrong at all.” you shyly accepted his request.

jaehyun then stood to get the orders, his fingers warning you that the late dinner would be on him. your heart experienced blossoms and giddiness you hoped it’d stay forever. who knows? maybe being each other’s muse could turn into something more after tonight.  

[har-rison-s]

pretty proud

“pretty” part four

request: Maybe one based off the one about Bill’s older sister and Stan except she’s the person that Richie told about his crush on Eddie, and at the dinner scene, she smiles at Richie because she knows and as they’re leaving the restaurant, she hugs him and tells him it’s okay to still have feelings and she encourages him to go after Eddie 

A/N: Hello. I love this and I love continuing the Pretty series. Also, I want to write some Reddie as of now. I feel like I could be very good at writing them, and maybe I should try out something direct some day. Let's see about that :) Anywho, I think Pretty's gonna end with this and one more chapter. I think that'd be pretty swell. Happy reading!

IT masterlist

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gif credit goes to owners, which isn’t me!

“Hey, uh, Brooke Shields--” Richie started to say. Y/N lifted her head to him, a little carelessly, but ready to listen to whatever he's got to say. “Sorry, Y/N.” He added then, and Y/N smiles, her eyes closing. They were alone in the Denbrough kitchen. Bill, Eddie and Stanley were cleaning the rest of the house while Richie was put on kitchen duty. The boys had had a sleepover, in which Y/N also participated in, and Bill had already made them promise they'd help him with cleaning everything up afterwards. And Y/N had wandered into the kitchen while Richie was still there.

“I don't mind. I kinda like the nickname.” Y/N shrugged. “Something you wanted to say?”

“Yeah, uh... “ Richie looked down. “No, nevermind, I shouldn't.”

Y/N walked over to Richie and put her hand on his shoulder. “It's okay. You can… You can trust me. What's wrong?”

“I know we're not the best of friends, I don't know if I should.” The boy says. “I mean, I just… It's not right - what I want to say, I…”

Y/N sat the boy down at the kitchen counter and then took a seat next to him. She leaned her back against the counter so she'd be facing Richie. “Take your time. We've got plenty.” She told him and patiently waited.

“I just… Just promise me you won't tell anyone. Anyone at all.” Richie looked into her eyes very strongly. Y/N nodded, but furrowed her eyebrows. She's a little wary of what he wanted to say. 

“I won't tell anyone.” 

“Okay, uh…” Richie looked down again and sighs. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. “Jeez, I'm such a pussy, I can't even say words.”

“Richie, it's okay. You can relax around me, I'm not judging.” Y/N assured him. “Tell me.” She said softer.

“Well, alright, I'll do my best. God, I never say such things.” Richie breathed in sharply. “Um, okay. Okay, I… I think I might have… I might like, I definitely might like Eddie.” He finally said, his voice quieter than before, and felt like a horribly heavy stone had fallen off his heart. He breathed deeply, remembering that he can actually breathe, and for a moment Y/N even thought he'd be having an asthma attack. 

“You like him?” Y/N echoed quietly. Richie nodded, but hesitantly and shamefully, and he took off his glasses. He put them down on the counter in front of him. Richie rubbed his eyes. “Hey, hey, don't you cry.” Y/N's hand was once again on Richie's shoulder and she moved her thumb back and forth to give him some sort of soothe. “It's okay to have feelings. It's okay.” Richie sighed shakily. “For how long do you think you've liked him?” 

“I don't--I don't know exactly.” Richie said. “Is it really okay? I mean I'm… I've never met someone… I don't even know if I am…”

“Richie, it is okay.” Y/N said. “It's totally human. We love who we love. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's love.” She shrugged. “Does anyone else know?”

“No!” Richie almost shouted, contradictory to his rule about keeping his voice down. Y/N visibly tensed up at his outburst. “Sorry. No, nobody else knows. I'm scared for anyone to know.”

“Wouldn't you want to trust Stanley with this? He's your best friend. If you don't wanna tell Eddie, which I understand very well.” 

“I don't know… That's true, yeah, but… I don't know. He might look at me different. And you might.”

“Well, I don't.” Y/N stated confidently. “You're still the same Richie.” She told him. 

“Thanks.” Richie said. “How do you have so much wisdom at fifteen-years-old? You're some sort of witch… Y/N the Wise.”

Y/N laughed. “Thanks, Richie.” There's a pause. “Don't be ashamed of your feelings, alright? It's harder to do than to say, but… They're normal feelings. You're not a freak or anything.”

Richie nodded and sniffed. He put his glasses back on and he turned his head to the kitchen entrance door. Someone had just entered through it.

“Hey, Rich, did you clean everything yet? We're thinking of going to the Arcade.” It was Eddie. “Oh, hey, Y/N.”

Y/N remembers very well how scared, but in awe Richie looked at that moment. His eyes had fallen on the first and only love of his life. And for a moment, the Trashmouth was silent. He took a long look upon Eddie before becoming his usual self again.

She looks at the boy now grown up into a man. All boys and Beverly still look like kids in Y/N's eyes, it's so strange to see them again. Bill she had met frequently during this twenty-seven years period, but her brother doesn't carry any significant change in appearance or otherwise.

It's truly strange to see Bill's friends grown up. Y/N can barely believe her eyes. And she wonders where's Stanley. Is he late? Is he not coming? Has something happened to him along the way? But she tries to keep these questions out of her mind, figuring they worry her too much and keep her away from the people actualy present.

Richie looks the same, she could say. He's just… Ah, but he's different. Seems like this contradiction fits all the Losers. Richie's still his old self, and Y/N's glad he hasn't changed. She's sitting between him and Eddie, and at first she thought it'd be torture, but it's funny sitting between the two. They still bicker, they still cuss at each other, but they still joke around, as well. That's what makes sitting between them so fun. 

And when she remembers her and Richie's conversation in the Denbrough kitchen all those years ago, she suddenly feels strange sitting between Richie and his first crush. And she feels so much love and support for Richie, just like she did when they were kids. She's so proud of him. He's grown up well and has made a name for himself, and he's still the same Richie. The same funny, but deeply caring Richie Tozier she remembers knowing as one of her brother's friends. The boy who always gave everyone nicknames and covered his anxieties with comedy. 

Richie notices her looking at him longingly and glances at her. “What is it, Shields?” Richie asks and Y/N laughs, holding her belly. She shakes her head, still giggling, and only smiles fondly at Richie. He has once again used the nickname he gave her as a teenager. It's a reference to her extreme resemblance to the actress Brooke Shields. Every teenage boy in the 1980's loved her and wished to have a girl like her in their arms, including, for a while, Richie and his friends.

“I only remembered something.” She says and reaches for her beer. 

“What? About what?”

“Your mom.”

The Losers burst into laughter when Trashmouth gets silenced by Y/N using his own joke, the loudest one being Eddie. Someone's got back at Trashmouth finally! Richie instead sits at the table trying to suppress his smile. The alcohol makes him a little sheepish. Richie's proud that Y/N's outdone him, but he's embarrassed, too, and won't admit it. He feels embarrassment for one of the few times in his life. 

“Oh man, Shields, I thought I could trust you.” Richie states, shaking his head, which only makes Y/N laugh harder. “You traitor.”

“You'll get back at me in no time, I bet.” She replies and pats Richie's shoulder. This gesture brings back a forgotten memory to Richie. A forgotten, or perhaps, gladly hidden away conversation he had with Y/N a long time ago. Or maybe it's just a made-up dream. No, it feels like a memory. Just like the one where he and Big Bill went to the house on Neibolt Street. Or Henry Bowers calling him Trashmouth. 

Richie suddenly looks away from her and instead glances at Eddie sitting next to her. But he looks at the man for only half a second. He fears that looking at him will somehow expose Richie. He can't explain this feeling, but it's strong enough to make him stare into table in front of him, and not at any of his friends.

The dinner came to a close soon, a terror thrown by a row of fortune cookies being the closing act and scaring the bejesus out of everyone for the rest of the evening. And the mystery that came out of the little papers ate away at Y/N's mind. Though she wants to stay focused on it and listen to what Beverly can get from calling Stanley himself, she also wants to speak to Richie. To both take her mind off the worries and to remind him of something. 

“Hey, Rich,” she tugs on his arm and Richie immediately turns around to her, stopping in his tracks. Eddie turns for a second, as well, wondering what's the matter, but soon joins the others going outside, leaving Y/N and Richie in the lobby.

“Yeah?” Richie asks, seemingly clueless about what Y/N could want to say. Something about Stanley? Does she know if anything's happened?

But Y/N only embraces him. Well, she does her best to embrace the six foot tall Richie while being not so tall herself. He furrows his eyebrows at the gesture, but he wraps his arms around her in response and lets his head fall on her shoulder. Even if his face is still scrunched in confusion and his mind wanders to all the possibilities that could have led to this hug. 

“I saw the look in your eyes at the table.” She tells him, and she even laughs, relieved. A proud tear escapes her eyes. “You still like him, don't you?” Y/N then pulls back to see the certainty in Richie's eyes. He turns his head slightly, not catching onto her at first. But then he gets it, and he understands the memory that came back earlier better.

“Eddie?” He whispers and quickly glances over his shoulder to see if the mentioned person is anywhere near them. He's standing outside and waving at Richie and Y/N, waving them over to the rest of the group. Richie huffs and looks back at Y/N. “It's so weird, Y/N, that… That I feel everything coming back so suddenly. Eddie, you guys, my whole childhood… And…”

“And the feeling's strong, right?” Y/N finishes, and Richie nods. She smiles wide, another proud tear making its way out on her cheek. “God, Richie, it's so wonderful. You should… Maybe you should finally tell him.”

To this Richie's face twists in the opposite feeling of pleasure, and he wants to shake his head. But then he thinks, hey, maybe I should. No. No way. He probably doesn't even--

“Come on, take the risk.” Y/N whispers and nods. “Who knows how many of us are coming out of this alive? What can you lose?”

“Y/N, I could lose everything. My whole childhood with him, and my best friend with that. I don't know what he'd tell me back!” Richie panics. “If he'd have anything to say…”

Y/N realises it's not so easy for Richie, after all. It's not easy at all. She sighs quietly. “I don't want to push it on you, but you know… The feelings are true, Richie.” She states. “And they're beautiful feelings. I hope you don't feel ashamed by them.”

Richie huffs again and looks around for a brief moment, panic in his eyes still, but calmer now. “It's really hard not to.” He tells her. “God, I remember how I told you... Only you. No one else knows, right?” Y/N shakes her head. “Oh, God, okay, good.” Richie breathes deeply.

“I was really the only one you told?”

Richie nods. “Yes.” He pauses. “Thank you.” He tells her and pulls her small form into another hug, and his strong hold almost crushes her bones. But Y/N loves this hug, she loves the feeling she's now getting from Richie. “Thank you for that. For everything, really. You always had the right words to say.” 

“Maybe we are best friends, after all.” Y/N tells him and chuckles. Richie gives a shakier chuckle in response.

“Don't you underestimate that, Shields, we're definitely best friends.” He pulls back from her and then turns towards the door. Y/N smiles so proudly at Richie, feeling as though she might burst from pride. “Let's go outside and get the hell out of here.” Richie suggests. Y/N nods, though hesitantly, wanting to see what her brother thinks in terms of leaving or staying before she makes up her own mind, but follows Richie out the door anyway.

Their friends seem to be in a sort-of shocked stance, all of them, and when Richie and Y/N see their friends, it confuses and scares them. What has happened?

“Guys, why the long faces?” Richie asks, and Y/N chuckles at the humorous question. Beverly turns to the smiling Y/N, and so do the rest of her friends.

They know what kind of impact the news they've got will have on Y/N, and they feel so sorry for her. They hesitate to talk. They hesitate because none of them really want to hurt her. She would never live through it, Ben thinks, but Bill, instead, is sure of it. He knows his sister like the back of his hand. The news will kill her. He probably holds the most concern in his eyes when he looks at her, deeply wishing she wouldn't have to face this terrible truth.

And maybe it's some sort of sibling connection, maybe not, but Y/N looks at Bill first. “What's happened?” She asks carefully, scared of what she will get in response.

Bill gulps and glances at Beverly. They're asking each other who will be the bearer of bad news. Bill huffs. And his eyes tell Beverly that he can't do it. So Beverly looks down for a moment, readying herself for what she will say and how Y/N could react, and then looks straight into Y/N's eyes. She looks at Bev then, wondering what's that strange look on her face. As if she'd seen a ghost, or looked straight into death's pitless eyes.

“Honey, Stanley's…” Beverly gulps, “Stanley's dead.”

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[jacereviews]

Review: Young Justice (Season 1)

Cartoon

When I was a child, the in thing as far as superhero cartoons was Teen Titans. Years after its cancellation, the show Young Justice appeared to try to fill its shoes, however by the time it came out my interest in cartoons had waded. Alas on the dawn of the third season, a friend of mine suggested watching through it, and here we are. From 2010 to 2012, Young Justice season 1. Let’s Rock.

PLOT: We start off following the sidekicks Robin, Aqualad, Kid Flash, and Speedy, who are to be officially inducted into the Justice League. However, rather than full access they’re given second class status. To prove their worth they strike out on their own, and come to find a facility creating a Superman clone. After freeing the clone the Justice League decides to give them a bit of recognition, allowing them to form their own team. The show follows this team and their adventures, especially as they get tangled up with the conspiracy that created the Superman clone. After the two part first episode, most of the episodes follow a similar formula. Bad guy does thing, our main cast steps in and saves the day, and at the end we see a line of monitors talking about how their plan is still in motion. Over time the plot slowly advances and our lead cast grows their team. The problem I have with this is that it’s formulaic and can be very fatty. Episode 18 “Secrets” for example, is entirely pointless. It doesn’t connect to the plot or develop characters, and has one of the stupidest villains I’ve seen to boot. A lot of the show could’ve used more creativity or innovation, or just allowed plots to be more than one episode for more flesh. While it rarely had “bad” episodes, it didn’t have many great ones. Tried and true plots can do with some more spice. A lot of times due to the limited nature of the episodes things just get solved by convenience, this felt especially egregious. Speaking of, the season finale, while climactic, lacks much resolution. The series however was good with foreshadowing, a lot of small details early on that felt a bit weird were turned into full points later on, much to my surprise. There’s a good amounts of secrets and twists, but like the main villains of the show, they’re pretty crammed into the second half. As far as humor goes, the show’s decently funny. It has one of my favorite running gags in a cartoon.

5/10, while solid and effective, this series could definitely have used some creativity and ambition.

CHARACTERS: As with most cartoons, the burden of the series is put on characters rather than plot. In that regard it’s hit or miss. Most of the characters have some pretty solid bases but have some problems in execution. Robin is pretty solid the whole way through, the 13 year old Dick Grayson’s one of the more level headed team members, though can be immature and picked up some batmanisms. Aqualad was a personal favorite of mine. He became the team leader because of his calm consideration and responsible nature. He’s not perfect, but he had a warm charm to him. Kid Flash quickly became the comic relief, sometimes his incompetence got overbearing, and his love triangle antics could be grating but was rather likeable. Superboy was probably the character I had the most problems with, somehow edgier than Shadow the Hedgehog, there were too many “Superboy loses himself in a rage” moments. For as cool as he was I wish he would’ve grown out of those faster, his anger makes sense with his backstory but that didn’t make it enjoyable. Delayed entrances to the team include Miss Martian, who was supposed to be your airheaded pretty girl but green. While not particularly interesting until her backstory later down the line, she was generally pleasant. She did have a problem of being sexualized in uncomfortable ways on occasion, but I’m sure that’s a plus for some. Rounding out the team (as they appear in the opening) is Artemis. While charming in her relationships with others, the show spent a tad too much time obsessed with “her secret dark past” which led to the audience being unnecessarily suspicious of her come the introduction of the mole subplot. While generally most of the characters were likeable, how they were handled was imperfect. I specifically recall in episode 3 where Miss Martian came to a conclusion that the team and I’d assume a majority of the audience agreed with, and when proven to be untrue the whole team just turned and snapped at her in a very forced manner. It feels like the writing team doesn’t know how to handle romance and drama that well so a lot of these parts feel expedited and unnatural. Episode 11 for example. The first ten episodes hinted at some one-sided romantic feelings between two characters and the slight possibility that they might be returned, without much development between the two characters, they just start making out in episode 11 in a very forced and uncomfortable manner. While some of the couples do have good chemistry, it never gets to the openly romantic point in a natural manner. However these are simply a few pieces of the many forms of character interaction. In interactions other than team conflict and romance, the series does fine. As side characters go there is quite a few. I prior mentioned Speedy, who decides to do his own thing rather than join the team. As Red Arrow we occasionally get episodes that follow what he’s doing, however he suffers from similar problems as Superboy, coming off as too much of an asshole at times. Like Superboy he’s likeable, but sometimes he’s just obnoxiously angry for someone trying to be a hero of justice. The team is mentored by Red Tornado, who’s personality begins and ends with robot with a sense of justice. However, his simplicity makes him endearing in episodes with focus on him. The series gives a lot of focus to Captain Marvel, which I personally rather loved. His secret identity of Billy Batson allows him to have some interesting interactions with the team, and I found him to be a joy on screen. The only problem is he was stuck on what I refer to as “The Jobbing League.” Zatanna became a semi-prominent character towards the end and I found her to be a pleasant addition to the cast of personalities, but not overly remarkable. There’s a surprising amount of focus given to Doctor Fate, which I just found to be pretty cool. His appearances were usually kind of unexpected and always came with sick moments up until he too became part of the Jobbing League. As far as leaguers go, Batman was quite endearing with his role as a mentor. He spent the series trying to get Superman to bond with Superboy and it made him quite endearing. Otherwise the League had the Jobbing League problem. Many a time for the sake of stakes members of the League just got completely thrashed in a way that’d occasionally challenge suspension of disbelief. Other than that, the amount of leaguers on display was quite nice

6/10: There’s a lot to like here but there’s also a significant amount of problems.

VISUALS: When I first started episode 1, I knew I was in for a bad time when i could see an animation error in less than 30 seconds. This holds true for a good portion of the series, being filled with derpy faces, bad CG, and awkward walk cycles. While action scenes are well done, the animation can get lazy in any other type of scene. As for art, I’m not a fan of the style, it’s fine but feels a tad on the lifeless side. The insistence on CG models for a lot of things was quite obnoxious however. The characters all look distinct, but most of them don’t look interesting and I don’t think they’d fare well on the silhouette test. All in all not much to say in this regard.

5/10: While it’s passable on average, any high moment has to compete with the amount of mistakes made.

SOUND: When it comes to music, it’s very indistinct. While the music did it’s job fine it never rose above the call of duty or stood out in any memorable manner. The opening and credit songs are incredibly forgettable and indistinct. The voice acting on the other hand was done pretty well, aside from the Flash in the first two episodes I never found anyone’s voice to sound problematic. The lines were delivered with emotion and even shared voice actors were distinct in different roles. I wanna give a shout out to episode 3′s Mister Twister for sounding cool as heck. I kinda wish he showed up more just so I could listen to him again. Sound effects and diegetic noise were on point. All the gadgets and gizmos sounded right, with alien things sounding alien.

7/10: A job well done. The one notable goof was outdone by some small victories.

FINAL SCORE: 6/10

This series has a lot of problems, while not bad it’s by no means great. I imagine any fan of superhero cartoons will find it fine, it’s not going to bring anyone into the fold. I’m interested enough to continue with the series, but of all things on my plate right now this is the one I have the least love for. If the premise interests you it’s worth a shot, but it’s no must see. 

[dontbethatshank]

Little Lies

Request:  “And the request is for Newt, of course, based on the song I'd Lie by Taylor Swift. Have you heard that one? It's about her loving him while being his best friend and never saying how she feels but at the end can you make the reader and Newt confess their feelings and get together? Because that'd be wonderful. I want you to write it along the lyrics of it actually :) so if you can do it it'd be really great♡”

A/N: Again, whatever you have read or watched, ignore for this imagine. I had to use some creativeness to get the lyrics involved. So I created some of my own plot holes which are similar to parts of the movies and such but not exactly. SO just imagine creatively and enjoy!

“Y/N!” the young, 12-year-old boy yelled, grinning wildly. I looked over curiously, my own 11-year-old self-confused as to what was going on. “What?” I asked, defensive almost. “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Newt asked, leaning on his hands, looking at me as I finished my self-test/survey. “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “To get to the other side!” Newt exclaimed, grinning at his own joke. I faltered but laughed, smiling widely at him. Whenever he tells me a joke, I fake a smile and laugh; even if it isn’t funny.

“Y/N,” Sonya looked at me and I hummed in response. We were in our shared room. We had come to what many call Paradise not too long ago, and everyone soon fell into their own spots. It was like a better functioning maze, everyone having a spot and what not. It was a comforting system to me. “What’s up, Sonny?” I hummed, sitting up and looking at her from across the small, shared room. “Newt is working here in the gardens since it’s what he knows best... and, well, I don’t know. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen him, you know? And it’s almost like seeing a stranger, I barely remember anything he likes. But, any ways, I wanted to make him another panga blade, for gardening. But I was going to wrap it in rope since the handle is really rough and to make it personal. But I don’t even know his favorite color anymore,” Sonya sighed. 

And indeed, a long blade laid before her, sharpened herself, with a thick, rough looking handle that could probably give a few good splinters. “His favorite color is green,” I hummed, without thinking,” It’s a dark forest green. Like... this.” I told her, pulling a long piece of thin, tightly woven rope from the small bundle she had on her bed. Sonya gave me an odd look but mumbled a thank you, grabbing the rope and beginning to wrap the handle. She sharpened the blade against one of her rocks, the sound almost melodic at this point, and I quietly sighed, thinking of her brother. God, out of everyone and everything I could have remembered, why did I have to remember only him? And why, in such great detail?

Walking through the night, a pack on my back and a blade in hand, everything was qiet. The buzzing of the crickets and the small noises of insects and animals roaming about were heard, but no one talked.The others and I had set up camp, a small fire and decent shelter were set up between a small group of thick trees. Two of us were always up, on guard, every couple hours. Tonight, at this time, it was Newt and I. We sat against a tree, Newt facing the rest of the woods and I facing towards the camp. We both watched our part of the area, randomly moving around to get better views. 

Neither of us had talked in awhile, but then Newt let out a gentle sigh.  “I wish I could remember what life was like...” Newt mumbled. Several people from my own group had run and escaped with Newt and the other boys, trying to escape WCKD and their stupid trials. All of us were in the same boat; lost, confused, and scared. “Me too, bud, me too...” I mumbled. The truth was, I remembered Newt. I truly did. I could list off random facts about him that I couldn’t even remember about myself. It was terrifying, but also... reassuring. “Like... my birthday. I know I have one, we all have a bloody birthday, but... I couldn’t tell you mine even if my life depended on it right this second,” Newt sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he turned to look at me a bit more clearly.

And without missing a beat, I replied. “You were born on the seventeenth. The seventeenth of October,” I mumbled in response, my eyes falling to my hands. Newt got quiet and looked at me curiously. “How do you know that?” he finally asked, and all I could do was manage a shrug in response. “I remember us being close, being good friends... I guess, some things just... stuck. Like that, I remember small details, but nothing much else,” I replied. Lies. But only a little lie. I did remember small details... but I remembered many small details about the boy in front of me. Including the fact that I loved that boy.

“Thank God, I finally found you, I need your advice,” Newt said, grabbing my shoulder as he ran up behind me. Turning around I saw the boy, a sheet of sweat on his face, his brand new blade from his sister tucked under a strap on his back. “What’s up, kidd?” I asked, smiling at him. He always came to me for questions. I’m not really sure why, but I happily gave him my advice freely and my honest opinions. I tended to be that way for most of our friends. Everyone used me as their faucet of advice, and it always comes to them freely when they ask.

“Well, you’re the most honest person I know. Hell, I don’t even think you are physically able to lie. Anyways... I have some, girl.. questions,” Newt began, scratching his neck awkwardly. I forced a smile. It was only time. Being in Paradise meant more people; more girls; more possibilities. Of course, he would finally find one to set his eye on. And I truly was happy for him. “Go ahead, shoot away with your questions,” I laughed, walking with him as we headed to get some water in between our work. “Alright well, you see, this girl is really... not into normal girl stuff I guess? Like, she really likes to make blades and I’m pretty sure the idea of romance is probably sickening to her-” Newt began, and Istopped him, laughing. “Newt! No. Any girl, no matter who she is or who she likes, likes romance,” I laughed. He would never tell anyone, but he could play guitar; and if this mystery girl of his meant that much to him, I’m sure he could find the romance and talent up his sleeve to play her a little song to tell her just how he feels...

“No, not this one,” he argued, a frown on his lips. “No, trust me, she does. Everyone likes a bit of romance. It’s... sweet,” I replied and smiled. “No, no. Like she really isn’t into relationships or romance stuff or-” Newt began, the frown on his face deepening and becoming more confused. With a roll of my eyes I walked ahead of him, chuckling. “God, you love to argue,” you muttered, grabbing a canteen and filling it with water as I did so. Newt pouted gently at me, huffing as he did so. “Come on! I really need some honest advice! You would never lie, not to me anyway, I just... I really need help,” he groaned out.

“Fine, fine, I’ll help you. There are so many things you could do, ya’know? A secret picnic, maybe play her a song, or...” And it was true. I would never tell a lie. I praised myself on my high morals. I hated lying. I especially hated lying to Newt - I could never knowingly tell him an untruth. But if you asked me if I love him, I’d lie.

It was hot. I was tired. And no matter what I did, everything seemed to go wrong. I had messed up a building I was working on with Gally, Kiana, and the others. I had honestly ruined a weeks worth of effort, which pissed Gally off, but Kiana reassured me and so did Brenda when I saw her earlier. But the one thing I did that I didn’t even know how I did, was I pissed off Newt.

I was walking back to my shared room with Sonya, mumbling to myself and toying with my dirty hair as per usual, when Newt came up. I was tired and wasn’t in the mood to help with his mystery girl for the day, so I did my best to kindly brush him off. “Hey! Y/N! Wait up,” I heard from next to me, and then suddenly the tall, lanky boy named Newt was magically by my side. I smiled weakly up at him as I continued to walk sluggishly, and he smiled, rubbing the back of his neck as he let out a breath.

“So, uhm... this girl. I really want to just, ya know, tell her that I like her. I was going to do a big reveal or take her on a small, surprise date but... I think just saying it will be the best way. So... how should I do that?” Newt asked, looking down at me hopefully. With a small, inward groan, I stopped and looked at him. I didn’t have the self-esteem nor the patience to do this today. Not to watch and listen as he talked about this girl he loved so dearly. “Just, tell her. No wording it oddly or anything, just yanno... say it, blunt and clear. It’s the best way, otherwise, things may get messed up,” I nodded, affirming my opinion on it.

“I like you,” Newt said, letting out a breath as he looked down at me. I hummed and nodded, turning back to continue walking. “Yes, exactly like that. Now go on, go tell her,” I sighed. Newt grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “No, Y/N, wait-” he began, but I was too tired to listen to it. “Seriously, just go tell her, alright? I’m not in the mood to really listen to you drone on about her. It’s hot, I’m tired, and it’s just not a good day,” I replied, sighing. Newt dropped my wrist, a blank look on his face before he nodded and walekd away, silence following him and filling the space between us.

“I’m holding every breath for you... making sure I never tell you how I feel,” I whispered quietly to him as he walked away. And I was. Every time I heard him speak about his mystery girl, I smiled. As his best friend, I was proud of him and wanted him so, so happy... but I bit my lip and held my breath, afriad I might say just how I feel if I didn’t watch my tongue. And oh my God, it hurt so bad.

It was the next day, the day after I exploded on Newt, and I felt like utter crap. I wanted to apologize. To beg for his forgiveness. I couldn’t lose my best friend over some stupid jealousy that Ive kept hidden for what feels like a lifetime. No, that wouldn’t be fair to him. I had to talk to him. To apologize. To make it up to him. And I was going to... as soon as I could find my damn pants.

As soon as I was dressed, I checked myself in the dirty mirror and fixed my hair. I used to put on my make up and hope for a miracle that maybe Newt would notice, and he would see a beautiful girl. But now, after he’s talked about this girl he likes for the past three weeks, I just gave up. So as long as my clothes didn’t smell too bad and my hair looked like I at least tried to fix it this morning, then I looked good enough for whoever saw me today.

“Newt!” I called, seeing the boy sitting on a small wooden stool. “My God, he’s beautiful,” I thought to myself. He was wearing fresh, clean, new clothes. They were simple grey jeans and a light blue button down. They definetely weren’t work clothes, so I had no idea why he was dressed so... nicely. “Y/N,” Newt responded, smiling at me. “Hey, look, I really need to-” I began, raking fingers through my hair as I sighed, looking up at him. “No, no. Here, I need to show you something first. Come with me,” Newt butted in, grabbing my wrist and pulling me with me.

Obediently, I followed, confused. We walked for awhile, quietly. He held my hand, guiding me. We walked into the thin, small gathering of trees outside the small city that we had built up here in paradise. The day was cooler than before, and the shade of the trees made it nice and cool. I could hear the faint sound of running water, and Newt finally pulled me into a clearing. It was a small waterfall, water cascading down a piling of rocks into a small pond, and beside it on the grassy area, was a small, thin blanket. On the blanket was a basket and some food was laid out. I looked at Newt, confused; bewildered was more like it.

“You said to directly say it, so there were no mix ups... but, there was a mix up. So I decided to say it and show it,” he explained, guiding me to the blanket and sitting us down. As we sat down he grabbed my hands, looking me in the eye. “Y/N, I like you. No, a better phrase I suppose would be, I love you,” Newt began, gulping down a big breathe. “I remember us before the Maze. I remember us being friends. I remember all these little quirks of yours that you still have... like how you only like crunchy peanut butter, or how you will only ever eat grapes if they’re cut up and mixed with another fruit. I remember your birthday, and your favorite colors, I remember that you love to argue with me just as much as I love to argue with you... and I remember that you are still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen,” Newt mumbled, looking down into my eyes.

“Newt, I... I love you. God, I love you so much. I’m sorry for snapping at you and just... I thought you were talking about another girl and it hurt and just... I love you,” I stuttered, trying to find the ight words and ultimately still failing. Newt laughed, his hand coming up and two fingers laid under my chin, pulling my face closer to his. “I love you, Y/N. So much,” he whispered, before pressing a kiss to my lips and gently pulling me closer to him. And my world was on fire and I felt like a thousand fireworks were going off inside of me.

“I’d never lie about loving you. Never again,” I mumbled, then leaned in closer to kiss him again. No more little lies. Because if you asked me if I love him, I’d never lie.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #171

UPDATE 171: Like Punching Your Own Face

Last time Roxy had managed to create the matriorb out of thin air, and Dave and Dirk were finally having a much-needed conversation, Dave unloading everything he had in his head regarding Bro’s way of raising him. It was raw and made me sympathize a lot with Dave, but it’s not over yet. Let’s continue.

The first thing I read in this update is Dirk apologizing. Huh. It wasn’t your fault, Dirk, Dave simply had the bad luck of being raised by a sucky version of you. Then again, as it was pointed to me: Dirk himself admitted long ago that he has no business raising anyone. He’s not wrong, if this was the result. Roxy didn’t do a stellar job, but she wasn’t a complete disaster – the ocean-sized gap that’s the lack of communication between the Lalondes was the problem. All in all, maybe not having to raise them by themselves would have helped.

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like  DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff 

He’s not wrong about that, environment shapes people a lot. I wonder how alternate Dave would have raised Dirk if there wasn’t the slight problem of Dirk being a few centuries in the future...and also if alternate Dave hadn’t been killed. That can’t have been of help either.

Dirk continues feeling responsible of what Bro did, saying he needs to take responsibility for all the splinters that are him. It’s hard to understand, a bit. I honestly can’t even start saying how complicated it is to feel like that – but somehow I have the feeling that a lot of people in the world would feel responsible for what their alternates do. I don’t know if I would.

DIRK: I've felt...  DIRK: Haunted by them.  DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities. 

You literally made glasses that are filled with some of your own bad qualities, Dirk. You kinda brought that one to yourself, just saying.

Dave appreciates Dirk’s apologies, even though it feels weird to hear it from someone that isn’t the Bro he knew, which in turn makes Dirk confess that he isn’t even happy with his relationships with his peers – especially with Jake. Well yeah, no surprise there, everything is still a fresh wound. It was just a day ago or so that Jake was telling to other people that he felt suffocated. Who knows, maybe in the future that’ll change! Don’t give up, Dirk.

It’s nice to see that Dave and Dirk are trying to give support to each other despite the trouble they have to connect. It’s clumsy, it’s distant, but they’re trying. It’s more akin to pulling teeth than a heartfelt conversation, buuuuuuut it’s the best the Striders can do.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though  DIRK: No?  DAVE: nah  DIRK: Why not?  DIRK: We did just meet, after all.  DAVE: because  DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad 

Dirk is not a bad person. He can be extremely difficult to deal with, but he’s not bad. I’m sure hearing it from Dave will make it resonate more than if he had heard it from anyone else, even if everyone else would be more energetic about telling him that he’s a good person. Dirk isn’t even accepting it from Dave at face value, although he is grateful about it. Everyone else idolized him, after all.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.  DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.  DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.  DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger. 

No wonder Bro ended like that. I really don’t think anyone dared to tell him about his flaws. I suppose that maybe this could be interpreted as a sign that Bro respected Dave, but I’m not going to think that’s correct. That relationship was pretty messed up, after all.

Dave sounds genuinely floored to hear everything his alternate self did in Dirk’s universe, including killing clown presidents and somehow managing to make a million Statues of Liberty. I’m still wrapping my head around that one. Could that have been how things would have gone if the world hadn’t ended horribly? Hm...no. The movies and all were a way to give the Condesce a sucker punch, no Condesce means those concrete movies wouldn’t exist. It’s hard to say what would have happened. Maybe Dave really would have gone into the fields that study dead stuff.

Dirk tried to follow Dave’s perceived good traits. Golly, Dave must have never seen that coming.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.  DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.  DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me. 

Oh hey, I just realized that this alternate Dave pretty much did everything that’s expected of the Dave we know: fight, resist, and pretty much be a cornerstone of the rebellion against the Condesce. He’s everything Dave doesn’t think he can be. Think about that, Dave.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.  DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.  DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.  DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

Congratulations, you pretty much punched Dave’s hopes from when he was thirteen years old. It’s for the better. Somehow hearing that Dave is not the “cool” person Dave had once hoped Bro would see him as catches him off-guard. Here we go! This’ll be the turning point for Dave, won’t be it? Things are going to change for him – hopefully! Dave certainly had the big character arc in Homestuck, even if he says people don’t have arcs.

And here we go!

DAVE: its really fucked up of me  DAVE: what im presently doing  DAVE: so  DAVE: sorry about that  DIRK: Oh, y-  DIRK: Yeah.  DIRK: Man.  DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.  DAVE: i know

This is much more than I expected. Of all things that could happen, a hug wasn’t even close to the top of the list. This is actually a pretty sweet moment, I’m glad it actually happened. Part of me was sure Hussie wouldn’t show them talking, but he did. I’m glad I was proven wrong about it.

So! There’s only one conversation left before things may kick into overdrive straight towards the last part of Homestuck! Roxy is going to meet Kanaya, surely to give her the matriorb. Things are winding down everywhere else, it won’t be long now!

Roxy appears from the skies with a ‘heeeeeey’ and repeats it a few more times, preparing the surprise by telling her to guess what she brought. I can guarantee that the matriorb is not going to be a guess here, hah!

KANAYA: Is It The Thing Behind Your Back  ROXY: yup but u gotta be more specific  KANAYA: Is It A Little Piece Of Paper That Says Hey On It  ROXY: hahahahaha no but that would be SO FUNNY! 

I won’t lie, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it hadn’t been that. Wish you had thought about it before. Maybe there’s still time to write “I.O.U one (1) matriorb” on any random rock and give it to her...or maybe that’d be cruel. Shrug.

Not wasting any more time, Roxy presents the matriorb, much to Kanaya’s astonishment. She’s so surprised she can barely express her surprise while Roxy tries to explain in vague terms. Look at that, Kanaya has tears in her eyes! It must be hard to describe, the feeling of hope in seeing the way the troll race is going to be resurrected. Keep it away from the Condesce and everything should be fine.

Nobody would have thought that the way to revive the trolls would just be given to her like this, but she can’t complain. There’s a lot of work to do, the mother larva isn’t going to raise itself. There’s a life of duty and work ahead of her.

Where’s Karkaroni, asks Roxy? “Meditating”. With his face deep into the dirt. You’re so lucky you’re telling this to someone Roxy doesn’t know very well, nobody else would believe such answer.

Roxy gets into her role of Rose’s mother and tries to know Kanaya better, asking about the meteor tri, where everybody formed small groups and only convened like twice of three times. It wasn’t the social jamboree Roxy imagined. Could have been worse, Roxy. It was worse once. At least now everyone is more or less getting along and Kanaya is aware she needs Karkaroni’s help so trolls aren’t like in Alternia.

...having doubts about fighting? Well I can understand Kanaya would want to protect the matriorb and that she believes her skills are not as good as everyone else’s, but if the Condesce isn’t defeated that matriorb will only be good as a paperweight. Roxy points all that and tries to give Kanaya encouragement about her skills. Well not many things can beat a chainsaw in power. That’s all enough to convince Kanaya to go with her and prepare for the fight.

Now that all the dialogue options are over, the point of view returns to the dream bubble where Vriska has gone to harass herself. Yeah, don’t ask me why she’s bothering to do this.

Okay, I read one page and I’m already feeling a bit sick. I don’t know how Hussie is doing this, managing to make me dislike Vriska after I spent most of her appearances liking her. In just a few hundred pages he’s managing to make me not want to read her anymore. It’s going to be difficult to write something that isn’t constant grumbling. Well, there’s one thing...

VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing?  VRISKA: No, o8viously not.  VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling "happy", and... whatever the fuck it is you're doing here?  VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful.  VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish??  VRISKA: You do know this is selfish, right?  VRISKA: This isn't having some fucking "epiphany" or like "growing as a person" or whatever self-serving spin you might 8e putting on what's happening here.  VRISKA: It's just plain narcissism, the worst kind you're capa8le of. A total renunci8tion of any responsi8ility for contri8uting to the gr8ter good.  VRISKA: And it makes me FUCKING SICK. 

...I have no words. Yeah, looking for personal happiness is selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with being reasonably selfish. I just...I can’t say anything about this that isn’t some sort of circular argument that in the end isn’t worth typing here. I just can’t say anything.

VRISKA: Contrary to your lazy fakey "happy" shit, I've ACTUALLY GROWN AS A PERSON.  VRISKA: What do you think of THAT, you frivolous, dithering 8ITCH???????? 

Like hell you did!

Just...agh.

Looks like the dead Vriska wasn’t wrong, the horses really is a bad omen for her. Meenah is leaving her and going with the Vriska that is alive. At least Meenah has the decency to be conflicted about what she’s feeling and all, but damn, what a way to punch someone that’s already down, Hussie.

Meenah likes dead Vriska a lot, and she admits it, but she’s bored of having an idyllic life with dead Vriska. She wants to fight Lord English and here’s the chance to do it. Dead Vriska may have changed, but Meenah is the same than before, and that one isn’t content with sitting on the sidelines. That’s why she’s leaving – more or less.

I feel bad for dead Vriska. It’s almost hard to believe that the end for the character I knew for so long is this – or at least this seems like the end. It feels...weird. I feel really bad for her. I wish this hadn’t gone for this. Heck, Meenah deciding to go fight Lord English would have been understandable. I just wish this whole thing hadn’t needed to happen.

Hm. I think I should be stopping here for now.

Next update: next time