#i wish i still had that bg saved somewhere

[masteraqua]

back in the day (aka a long ass time ago) i made custom wallpapers for my flip phone that were designed around the layout of the home screen, which in those days wasn't standardized and would vary wildly across devices. and to do this, i had to create a template through trial and error to figure out exactly how many pixels the clock used, where the date was in relation to it, etc. because i often liked to make little labels for the different display elements. it was a fun time

[gothwarlocks]

some fun bg details I sorted out for Syd so far:

So this is all stuff leading up to his early 20s, but still important. Some stuff goes down in his mid/late 20s that absolutely makes him The Way He Is but I’ll sort that out in another post another day.

Anyway hope this kind conveys why I like my Togruta manlet so much skjdfjks 🖤

Isydore (pronounced like this btw, but I love diminutives c: ) was born on Nar Shaddaa. He was unplanned, and his mother didn’t wish to trade her budding corporate career elsewhere for a family. She entrusted Syd’s rearing to his father, gifted him a portion of her savings, and promptly disappeared from both of their lives.

His father (single dad and a decent one at that) was a freelance hitman operating within the Empire. His targets ranged from corporate rivals to more political targets, like radical freethinkers stirring up civil disobedience on Imperial-occupied planets (not a good guy ethically-speaking, to be clear lol). He was of considerable success but struggled to keep his nastier habits and rivals/competitors in check, and one day that caught up with him.

When Syd was about 13, a Republic-aligned bounty hunter called Zarouhi (pronounced za-roo-hee), or Zaro for short, with a shiny new death warrant for and an old grudge against Syd’s dad managed to finally get the better of him during a routine hit on Corellia. It’s bittersweet.

When she boarded his ship to clean out whatever credits or supplies he had stowed away, she discovered a teenage Togruta boy ready to blast a hole between her eyes. Having not known that the hitman she just dispatched was a father, Zaro extends a hand in sympathy. Rather than turning him over to be a ward of the state, she offers Syd a life on the road on the hyperlanes with her (as a guardian and mentor).

Together they spend the better part of a decade together, racking in credits as a team and living rather well, for bounty hunter standards. Spending his teen and young adult years with Zaro means Syd learns the ropes of (relatively) legally-sanctioned bounty hunting/mercenary work and develops a knack for sharpshooting and trick shots (which starts out as a pastime game between the two).

To be clear, while they had a very rocky, less-than-conventional start, Syd now considers Zaro his mom and refers to her as such (he wuvs his momma). He still remembers his dad, vaguely, and Zaro often warns that Syd has too much rose-tinted reverence for that man. All Syd knows is that his dad was a "famous” hitman of loftier success than Zaro, and he often wonders if her criticism of his father is rooted in jealousy (spoiler: it isn’t lol). Really she just doesn’t want her adopted son to fall into those same patterns but has no idea how to instill that kind of restraint in him--she just hopes she has, at this point.

(This is less important for Syd but I just like to think about things!) Presently, Zarouhi is retired (she’s in her 50′s) and lives on Dantooine. With Syd’s help, she bought herself a humble little homestead and grows crops to support herself and sell at local markets. This was when he was about 23. Dantooine was chosen because Zaro had reconnected with an old flame who’d also relocated to the grassy planet, and the two women hit it off once she settled in her new home.

Syd has like, cute white eyebrow markings that are just part of his other markings. I just wanted to say this somewhere because his chronic forehead real estate was giving me conniptions <3

[ziracona]

OMG, I love UD and I was so sad after what happened to Josh, I couldn't play rush of blood, but Oh My Goooooood. So you say we actually get the chance to ACTUALLY SAVE HIM? And people don't realize that, just like I didn't? Oh, man, ohhhh, man, I'm so happy. WE SHOULD SPREAD AWARENESS, OUR BABY IS OK. I'm so curious how things would go after that rush of blood ending, how Josh would meet his friends again, but I don't mind not knowing, nope, it seems too good to be true and I don't want this to end so thank you Universe for saving Josh. Thanks for explaining this to me, you made a poor human happy. Also, if you don't mind, could you recommend some of this AU content that you find accurate? Not accurate, hmm. Well written. Thank you thank you, oh my soul

Rush of Blood is pretty heavy on the horror and gore, so I don’t know if I’d play it even now, but I am real glad people did and I could watch completion playthrough stuff! I was elated—I think I still have screenshots from 2016 when I first saw and sent them to a friend saved on my laptop somewhere. Yeah! I think it’s kind of sad but fitting that nobody saves Josh in UD, but in RoB the player gets to be him and has a chance to save themself. :’-]

Yeah! I mean, in fairness, there’s a lot of subtext even to the game itself and it’s all kind of understated and you did for the meta, and almost nobody (I knew anyway) got PS VRs, but I have been so sad for the UD fandom for years that just straight up...nobody seems to be aware. If that info had been part of UD itself, everyone would have latched onto it like a bouey in a hurricane. I am so happy for him!! Ah! And I’ll do my best. I haven’t been like, deep into the UD fandom in years, so I am sadly not the best person to ask TuT, but it only seems fitting I rec the perosn whose stuff coined the term and popularized the AU originally. If you havent seen their stuff, I remember their opening comic for it being really sweet, and the one with him and Sam meeting again for the first time really well, so let me link those for ya. They’re not 100% in line woth RoB but it’s pretty damn close bc they took the exact same idea and ran with it in the same direction. As far as like, acurate/well done goes, I think most of the stuff was good? Although I think I remember one involving horns as a symptom & symptom post-exorcism that is inacurate to indigenous tradition. It’s been so long bro haha, but I remember really liking the first comic and the first with Sam especially so I’ll link those. Pretty sure they have/had a master post too if you want to see more of their stuff. I wish I had like, fics to recommend too, but I don’t. TuT I really home you find some though!

And I am happy to help! Back in college I actually wrote to Supermassive and they emailed me back about Josh specifically and I was so sad he didn’t get a good ending in UD I cried on the bus and probably made a lot of people think I was failing classes... lol. You’re super welcome, and I am glad you get to be happy about this too! : D Sorry I don’t have more to rec TuT

Some pics from RoB ending stuff if you’re curious and don’t want to sift through youtube. Content warnings for gore and body horror though.

Includes one of the flashes of sanity (doctor w sisters hallucinated in bg), the UD end/secret end (the ranger w the flashlight). Some dialogue from the Makkapitew itself in the last level, and the other end sequence.

[atypicalkataangist]

Bestowing Honour

Type: Oneshot [Angst]

Summary: One year after Aang’s death, his family returns to the place of his funeral to bestow honour on the late Avatar.

Word count: 2241

Author’s note: Hey guys. Today’s oneshot is actually something special for me. I used it as a vent for many emotions that were boiling up inside of me for the last while. I began writing this Oneshot about two weeks ago; It was the first anniversary of my Dad’s untimely death, who had died of pancreatic cancer last year. We visited my Dad’s grave and so many emotions were bottling up inside of me that I had to release them somewhere, and since something similar happened to the Avatar’s family, I couldn’t pass up the chance to weave my own thoughts, memories and words together with those of the characters in the story.

By the way, AtLA was pretty much the first thing i could really enjoy after everything that happened last year, and I’m very thankful for all the beautiful moments it could give me despite everything else.

So please enjoy this, and even if you don’t I understand, all I wanted to do is to write down my most intimate emotions, and I’m glad I did. This is enough sad stuff for the next while though, I’m looking forward to write about something fluffy finally again! But as you might have noticed by now, updates take a while.

Don’t forget to think positive, whatever may happen, guys; because remember what a wise man once said:

“When we hit our lowest point, we’re open to the greatest change.”

~ Dedicated to my Dad ~

The wind blew strongly at the southern cliff of yue bay. The sun hid behind a thick layer of clouds, the sky was coloured in a deep grey most of the time, only interrupted by brief seconds when the sun was given the opportunity to shine through the almost inpenetrable wall. After a short moment of sunshine however, it would go back into hiding, never to be seen again.

Neither of them had been looking forward to this day, but they all knew that it had to be done. One year ago, on this exact date, the Avatar had died. Avatar Aang, the last airbender, the bringer of piece, had met his demise after a long period of serious sickness. Even though the whole world seemed to be disconsolate about the great man's demise, his family of course was hit hardest. The last year had been an incredibly difficult time for the Avatar's wife and three adult kids; whereas the world seemed to overheap the late hero with honors like planning to build a gigantic statue of him in yue bay, or establishing an "Avatar-Aang-Memorial-Day", his family could only think about the person behind the Avatar, behind the politician, the bringer of peace.

The Avatar's burial had been a huge event, with hundreds of famous people from all around the world giving speeches, sometimes more personal and heartwarming like the one held by the Avatar's trusted friend and ally, Fire Lord Zuko, or sometimes more political and impersonal like the speech held by a nobleman from the earth kingdom, of whom Katara wasn't sure if he had actually been in the same room together with Aang just once while he was alive. According to his beliefs as an Air Nomad, his remains were cremated and his ashes handed over to the winds of yue bay, on the far end of a cliff not far from his lifelong home on air temple island. It had been a terrifying day for Katara. Even though hundreds, if not thousands of people expressed their more or less honest condolences to her, offering their help whenever she would need it, her inner instincts were just telling her to run. Run as far away as her legs would carry her. It had all been too much, way too much, and without the support of her children, she would have probably left, not bearing to witness the act of hundreds of people crying in remorse over someone they barely knew.

She had known him, better than all of them . She had loved him every day of her life. She had cared for him when he wasn't well, and she was by his side, she didn't leave him in his final days, holding his hand, watching the final bit of life leaving his frail body until his suffering came to an end. She had cried until there were no more tears to shed. She had loved him more than she had loved anything else, perhaps except for her children. She had spent her whole life at his side, going through ups and downs, highlights and crises together. They had saved the world together. They had rebuilt a culture. They raised three children together. They had been married for well over forty-five years. And they had endured ravage, destruction, wars, Appa's death, Iroh's death, rebellion, and so much more.

And all of that should've come to an end now? Because the universe decided that the world needed a new Avatar? A fresh start? With him, almost everything she cared about was taken from her, a part of her dying together with him. A part of her wished to die as well, to be reunited with him in the spirit world, to spend eternity at his side. But another part reminded her of her children, her first grandchild that was on the way, the fate of her husband's air nomad culture that lived on through the air acolytes and her son Tenzin. She secretly knew that her time had not come yet.

After his death, she didn't dare to return to their old home on air temple island. They had spent their whole lives together in that house, and there was nothing that didn't remind her of him. She needed to get out of there and never return. Many begged her to join them, like Zuko, who was more than willing to help one of his dearest and oldest friends with an apartment in the royal palace, or the ancient earth king who had always appreciated and cared for the Avatar and his family.

Nonetheless everybody knew where she was going. The day after his funeral, she took the first ship towards the south pole, her home, the only place where she had lived for longer than a few months without him by her side. Her birthplace. The place of her family, her culture, her ancestors. Her daughter Kya joined her, putting her life on pause, postponing the wedding with her fiancee. She couldn't let her mother alone in a time like that, so she cared for her for the next hard months. The late Avatar's wife barely spoke, sunken in dreams and memories, yet she appreciated her daughter's company. Her sons came to visit every now and then, at least relieved to know that she would be in good hands with Kya, but their lives kept them busy most of the time, Bumi being a general in the united forces and Tenzin being the head of a culture that had yet to be reborn. Of course Katara didn't hold a grudge against her sons. Whenever they asked if they should stay, she reminded them to get back to their duties, not to worry about their old mother.

The only positive thing, the only glimmer of hope and the only thing that finally caused her to leave the south pole once in the next year, was the birth of Tenzin's first child, Aang's and her first grandchild, a little girl named Jinora, who quickly turned out to be an airbender. It was the first time she felt something like hope again since the death of the Avatar. Yet again she felt incredibly remorseful that her husband was not there with her and his son to share this beautiful moment together, the birth of their first grandchild, the second air bender in the world.

The next months she spent at the south pole, at least returning to her usual behaviour prior to the traumatic experience. She didn't stop to teach her daughter expert water bending techniques, also training some younger waterbenders from the southern, as well as the northern water tribe. She began to slowly return to life again, regaining a purpose. Kya even caught her mother laughing from time to time, and that sound she hadn't heard for way too long was like music in her ears.

Nonetheless no day went by without Katara thinking about the love of her life. At night she often went for long walks, looking up to the sky, searching for symbols or signs as a piece of evidence for his presence, but there was nothing. Sometimes she even went out to ice fields where she had found him in the iceberg. On the day that changed her life. Where she held him in her arms for the first time. Where they exchanged their first words. Where they went penguin sledding together. She couldn't think back at this moment without tears immediately shooting up to her eyes. How much she missed him... It felt unbearable.

And now, one year after the worst day of her life, she had to return, only to be confronted again with the terrible place near the coast, where she had to scatter his ashes. At least no one else was present now, except for her children and her brother. She wanted to keep it in the family. It would be hard enough as it was.

The skies didn't seem to approve of their endeavor. Maybe it was Aang, desperately trying to let them know that he was still there; or maybe the spirits were raging again. In the end, it didn't matter anyway. It was right after noon when all of them had finally made their way to the small edge of the cliff , where nothing but a small memorial stone and a bronze plaque which simply said "Avatar Aang - 12 BG - 153 AG" gave an indication of a memorial for a great man.

They stood there in silence; Katara in the center, opposite to the memorial stone, framed by her brother and her daughter, with Bumi at Sokka's and Tenzin at Kya's other side. The wind didn't allow them to have the peace they deserved, howling and messing up their clothes and hair. By now Katara could even feel tiny raindrops against her skin. Without even realizing it, she bend the whole rain around them away, leaving them dry.

She watched her husband's memorial with hurt, painful eyes. She was the first and only one to talk. "Aang...", she barely uttered with a shaky voice, while her whole body began to tremble from grief, "we...we've been doing okay so far... but we miss you" She began to cry heartbreakingly,"...so ...so much..." Her family, her brother, her children instantly offered their support, barely capable to hold back their tears as well. She wasn't ready to be helped right now. Nobody could comfort her. Powerless, she dropped on her knees, the wind joining in to her howling, breezing through her greyish hair. She wasn't even strong enough to bend the rainwater away anymore. Her brother dropped right next to her, very gently holding her back while his tear-dimmed eyes tried to meet his sister's, gently drawing her into an intimate hug. Her crying became louder against her trusted brother's shoulder, turning into nerve-splitting howling as all the good and bad memories came back into her mind. "I... I can't do this...", she cried, repeating it over and over again.

Kya felt dizzy from the pain she felt and she could see within her mother. She felt helpless. Not even she could heal her mother's pain. Guilt, anger and pain rose up inside of her, causing her to tremble. A wave of tears broke out of her despite her efforts to hold it in. She was about to lose equilibrium, about to hit the ground, when her little brother noticed her dizziness and held her firm, pressing his grief-stricken sister against his shoulder, sniffing away tears of his own.

The only one standing alone was Bumi. Even though they didn't always come along greatly, he had loved his father very much, and he was in mourning for him after his death. He didn't want his family to notice, but now, after a whole year had passed, with so much happening in his own life, he had felt simply nothing when he came back to the place of his funeral. He knew that his father was sitting there somewhere, watching him and hopefully be proud of his son. But when his mother started to cry again, like on the same day a year back, heartshattering and nervewrecking, he couldn't help but feel somewhat angry. Maybe it was his soldier-like attitude that he had to learn while being in the forces; whatever you do, don't show weakness. Or perhaps he was angry at her, because she became so dependent on her husband being there for her, that now that he was gone, her whole life began to crumble and fall apart.

Though perhaps he was angry at himself for all those missed opportunities, perhaps for taking so much for granted in the past; for forgetting so many beautiful memories to make coping with the pain easier. For putting his own life about his mother's, leaving her and his sister alone, only to fulfill his own dreams, to live his own life.

Finally, a tear slipped out of his eye, the only thing indicating the turmoil inside of him. He stood there in silence as he tried to bring his thoughts in order, watching the memorial as he somehow tried to share his thoughts with his Dad, telling him about his deepest feelings.

He snapped out of his trance after feeling a hand touching his shoulder. It was his uncle who looked at him with weary eyes, trying to figure out if his favourite little nephew was alright inside. Not coming to a clear conclusion, he still decided to hug him.

Bumi closed his eyes. His hero's touch felt good, it reminded him of how his Dad showed his appreciation whenever he heard of his sons accomplishments in making the world a safer place. He missed moments like these. When he opened his eyes again, he saw his mother was back at her senses now, sitting in the wet grass. She looked almost childlike, despite being an older woman by now. The way she was sitting there, wiping away the last few tears with her wirstbone, not daring to raise her eyes to meet what was in front of her. Kya and Tenzin were sitting on her left; he decided to take place on her right, putting his arm around her back, gently rubbing her back in small, circular patterns. She leaned into his touch, and when he heard her calmly breathing again, he knew that one day they would be alright.

[bthump]

watching jojo's bizarre adventure anime adaptation and seeing how much the anime team fixed araki (the mangaka)'s bad writing makes me rlly wish that if berserk gets a proper anime adaptation whoever does it will do the same with miura's writing (and some of his art too tbh). like for example for all their faults the berserk movies did improve casca's character. what are your wants for a potential full berserk anime adaptation? (also let's hope that this is the year we finally get one 🤞)

I never finished JJBA or watched the anime so idk, but I’m curious how much they changed. Like were there big changes to the plot, or was it mostly just little minor changes to smooth over some flaws?

ty for asking, and I apologize in advance for how long this got lol.

tbh I think my ideal, if not realistic, Berserk adaptation is one that just goes ‘fuck it’ and throws out most of the story lol. Starts with Black Swordsman, ends with Femto lowering his hand and letting Guts escape - well more specifically, on this panel:

Like that is a perfect final shot imho.

(Also I might mirror it with the opening shot. Like I wouldn’t open on Guts fucking an apostle lmao, I don’t actually dislike that opening but it doesn’t fit this theoretical adaption. So how about we open on a long shot of Black Swordsman Guts surrounded by the ghosts he’s fighting, that mimics this?)

Ooh I might also… I might stick the Lost Children arc in between Snake Man and Count Slug. Ugggh there are some logistical issues to untangle there, but I really, really want Jill/Rosine Guts/Griffith parallels, and I want ghosts taunting Guts about becoming a monster like his friend. Subtlety is for cowards. Oh except we wouldn’t’ve seen Femto yet so that wouldn’t work. Well, “like him” then instead of “like your friend.” There now it’s foreshadowing 2 ways.

the climax of the story is the moment of sacrifice because there’s no Eclipse rape, Casca dies shortly after Judeau, and Guts’ horror at being sacrificed by Griffith is the emotional low point. Potentially no gtsca either if I can figure out a way to incorporate Guts’ stupid dream speech somewhere else. Maybe it can be a flashback during the Wyald fight, which I’d keep incidentally, sans attempted rape, w/ Guts talking to Erica. Actually yeah that would be perfect and immediately tie Guts’ “dream” of fighting stronger and stronger enemies with fighting monsters lol, meaning I could bypass Guts’ post Eclipse war declaration that draws that comparison more explicitly.

Boom, Berserk is now a nice little self-contained tragic story about two dudes each becoming solitary monsters because they abandoned each other for abstract dreams, and threw aside the potential for true emotional healing (relationships) for shallow coping mechanisms (swords/dreams). Uhhh, also Puck is cut. Sorry Puck, ilu but you’re a ray of hope that ruins the vibe here.

And finally since this is my ideal adaptation, the subtext between Guts and Griffith is text. They don’t actually fuck or kiss, because that would avert the Eclipse, but… hm how do you make it clear that they want to fuck but are too repressed to do it and that’s what ruins everything? Okay well Griffith’s torture chamber monologue includes “love” a la the anime dub, and maybe “desire” or “need” to completely remove that ambiguity desperately maintained in the minds of straight people. And Guts… I don’t know that I can go textual lol. The only point in the story he can possibly recognize his own feelings is chapter 71.

Ooh I got it. Just include “at that time he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger than life” after the Count’s backstory lmao. Do you really need more? Well, maybe “he shone before me as something larger than life - noble, and… beautiful.” Or just cut to the chase completely: “At that time, he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger-than-life. I loved him.”

OKAY all that said I feel like this wasn’t really what you’re asking lol since you mentioned a complete adaption. So okay assuming there are no huge major changes to the content or structure of the story, here’s a (stupidly long, like only read this if you for some reason enjoy seeing me ramble for days about minute details lmao) list of some more minor things I’d want to change:

I’d start with the Black Swordsman arc and continue as the manga goes. Yes, in this one Guts still fucks an apostle. This is right before the credits, and it’s depicted as badass and cool. In fact, I might actually split the scene with the credits - start the opening sequence right after Guts blows her up, and resume on this shot with more of a sombre tone:

Like okay that would be pretty cheesy lol, but this is the Black Swordsman arc. It’s supposed to be a little campy, and really unsubtle, and this seems like a fun way of highlighting this little tonal shift.

Relatedly, I would not acknowledge the fact that most people watching already know where it’s going. I would maintain the integrity of the first arc in starting off with Guts as an apparent cool badass and then tearing that down, as well as keeping Griffith’s identity and Guts’ motivation a mystery in theory, and making the Count’s backstory the climax of this arc in a revelatory sense, rather than in an action sense.

To get more general, no fanservice for straight dudes. no one’s tits are randomly out, and when they are they’re drawn realistically and subject to the laws of gravity. casca’s clothes don’t get torn all the time, rosine’s got full moth fuzz coverage, farnese is wearing a shirt when guts takes her hostage and if we need self-flagellation (and tbh I wouldn’t necessarily cut it) it can be in a flashback, etc. Oh except Slan I guess. Her whole character is fanservice so w/e I’ll allow it.

not every woman is in love with and solely motivated by a dude. skip the queen’s completely unnecessary reveal that she was in love with julius, skip casca’s “I lived my life with the intent of sacrificing myself on my unrequited feelings for griffith” bullshit, skip sonia’s crush on neogriffith, skip tf out of schierke’s crush on guts, skip the random period of incest-y bdsm-y vibes in Farnese and Serpico’s backstory that adds nothing lol, skip the suggestions that Farnese is jealous of Casca’s history with Guts, etc

also most sexual assault scenes are cut. Casca is running for her life during the 100 man fight, not from attempted rapists. Wyald does not assault Casca, Farnese is not almost raped by a fucking horse, we chill out a bit on the sexual torture in every bg scene during the conviction arc jfc, Casca’s multiple assaults during that arc are cut, troll rape is cut, you get the point.

I’ll keep Adon’s shitty threats tho bc i feel like some violent misogyny is necessary if i’m not changing everything, but I’d completely lose the comic relief vibe he gets and make Casca’s fight with him properly epic and satisfying. The movie did this a bit better imo, but I’d really remove Adon’s whole boastful loser schtick. That might disappoint some fans, but idc Casca deserves to kill someone who is actually kind of a badass.

There’s a lot of bullshit around gtsca that I’m torn between wanting to cut, and instead wanting to just depict very negatively. Like would it be better if instead of Casca shyly asking Guts how she looks in a dress she just complained about the dress being uncomfortable, ie we completely cut that burgeoning “soft side” bs?

Or would it be better if she still asked him how she looks, then we call back to that moment when she gets awkward about her scars before sex, we keep Judeau musing on how she’s showing a soft side, we call back to that when he tells Guts to save her from leadership, we tie it all together when Guts asks Casca to leave with him, and bring it home by making it abundantly clear that Casca moving from being Griffith’s sword to Guts’ sword is not a positive change.

Like highlight everything negative about it - Guts being a huge dick, the ominous undertone when he invites her along (like cue the creepy cello music when they kiss right before we shift to monsters and behelits lol), all the parallels between him and Griffith wrt their dreams, Guts telling Casca to fuck off while he fights Wyald, maybe even add a moment where Casca actually reflects on how she’s left out of all the dream/equals bullshit and what that says about their priorities and how they see her. Might be a nice lead up to her telling Guts to leave to pursue his dream and be Griffith’s equal.

also maybe show that judeau is wrong about casca being better off away from the hawks? ugh there’s so much that would have to be reworked with her narrative. like if she still has to attempt suicide, again can we ditch the lead up about how it’s because she has an unrequited crush on griffith and just keep it about the fact that she hasn’t slept in a week and she’s on the run and her hawks keep dying and griffith is being tortured and she just stabbed guts and she’s had a very difficult year?

and like, maybe she leapt to accept Guts’ ‘come with me’ offer because she’s exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, but are you kidding me? While Guts gets an entire narrative arc about abandoning his found family, Casca doesn’t even think about it for a moment before agreeing to ditch them? Can we maybe have some indication about how she feels about the Hawks as a family, maybe some reflection about why she would choose to leave, maybe some second thoughts about it after the Wyald fight when it becomes abundantly clear what her role would be while Guts pursues his dream, like god she’s such a pawn of the narrative, I hate it. Give her some real reasons for doing stuff!

ANYWAY moving on

like the movie, I’d give charlotte more agency in the sex scene w/ griffith, I liked her asking him to stay and moving his hand to her tit herself. I probably would not actually make griffith so out of it though - i enjoyed that in the movie but I don’t necessarily consider it in-character. The way he went from literally crying in the rain to smiling and making charming jokes as soon as Charlotte opened the window in the manga honestly makes perfect sense to me lol. Just uh, make Charlotte into it from the start because there’s zero reason for her not to be other than bad misogynistic cliches?

Also I feel like there’s a balance to be struck between depicting het sex as dude sticks his dick in, woman somehow has a good time a la the manga vs making guts and griffith competent at foreplay and oral a la the movies lol. Like maybe depict the sex scenes as the bad sex they are but Charlotte still feels closer to Griffith afterwards despite not coming from a dude fucking her while thinking about another dude and like, just keep Casca telling Guts he was obviously a virgin afterwards lol.

I guess we’re stuck with the Eclipse rape, but it happens mostly off screen and in close, telling but non-explicit details, like yk, big clawed hand holding a wrist, Casca’s eyes squeezed shut, Femto’s hand on the small of her back (I’m thinking a reversed call back to the wagon scene w/ that to suggest Femto’s motivation being a show of power tbqh). Some would be from Casca’s pov, with maybe one brief moment from Guts’ pov as he loses an eye or something. Keep the movie’s visual reference to Griffith saving her. No pornographic angles. No apostle rape prelude to it. Casca doesn’t have an orgasm. Femto doesn’t stare at Guts. It’s not about Guts at all for either of them, it’s about Femto taking Griffith’s fucked up relationship to sex and expressing it monstrously, and it’s about Casca being betrayed and symbolically negating the agency she fought for since Griffith threw her a sword. Guts’ reaction is horror and fear, not manly heroic outrage. He might still rip off his arm to attack Femto, but that would be because that’s always his reaction to whatever scares him, not for Casca’s sake. Might have to contextualize that with flashbacks to his childhood, or at the very least strong visual parallels to both his childhood and the Zodd + Wyald fights.

I want to cut the fetus, replace it with like a cronenburg-y fucked up dog-like demon in the Black Swordsman arc - not as a literal version of the Beast of Darkness, but just as a metaphor for how Guts’ inner darkness is twisting him into a pathetic asshole lol. But tbh cutting the fetus is a logistical nightmare because Casca needs magic protection during the Conviction arc. So idk. But NGriff doesn’t need it, and his narrative would be more engaging without that scapegoat. Fuck emotional ambiguity, I just want to drop the news that NGriff has feelings, and then not change anything else about his narrative. The themes of isolation and loneliness threaded throughout would just shine through lol it would be great.

I would emphasize the shit out of the Beast of Darkness/Femto parallels. Yeah Guts would still assault Casca in my adaption too. If the Eclipse rape happens, that has to happen because the point is that Guts’ inner darkness is the same. But like, I’d cut the page where beast of darkness guts bites her head off while raping her. Also I’d keep the visual parallel to the Eclipse rape (the v similarly depicted kisses) and add another from Casca’s point of view, or have her flashback then instead of just staying in Guts’ head.

as for the fallout, I’d give Guts a proper scene where he sees himself as a monster, like damn he got more of a self-reflective and telling reaction that time he accidentally killed a random kid, we should get something when he sexually assaults Casca. but overall I’d focus way more on Casca being afraid of him now rather than his mopey guilt. I would also… I mean god this should be addressed in the fact that Guts fucking wears the Berserk armour all the time lol. Like one second he’s all, “omg Flora can put a magic seal on my brand that’ll depower my magical evil jiminy cricket wolf and hopefully prevent me from raping and murdering Casca, that’s great!” and the next second he’s all, “omg magic armour I can wear that will enable me to kill everything with the side effect of superpowering my inner evil wolf and turning on my companions? sign me the fuck up I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen with that.”

Like what I’m saying is I’d either make Guts a lot more reluctant to use the armour and take Skull Knight’s warnings seriously and genuinely reflect on the fact that mysterious magical children have to prevent him from murdering his friends over and over again, or I’d draw attention to this idiocy and fully commit to Guts as a dumbass hypocrite blithely walking down the path to more tragedy of his own making. and probably the latter based on where the story is likely to be headed lol.

in the lost children arc, I’d give Rosine’s mother more of a role as a good parent who Rosine has a loving relationship with, who tried and failed to stop her father’s abuse or something, because honestly I love the Peekaf story and I find Rosine’s regret at the end as she tries to fly home v powerful, but I hate the idea that she regrets sacrificing her abusive father so maybe this way I can split the difference.

and Jill’s ending where she goes home to endure abuse would be depicted much more darkly.

like straight up I’d depict Jill flying with Rosine as a truly beautiful moment, I would show that Jill has the potential to fulfill Rosine in a way her neverland kidnapping bullshit can’t and that yes, if Jill stayed with Rosine everything might actually work out and with Jill’s influence the whole land of the elves thing could be reworked into less of a nightmare and more of a haven lol. And Guts would absolutely be depicted as fully monstrous in comparison, ruining both these kids’ lives. Like, no ambiguity, no suggestion that Jill learned an important lesson about living with abuse lmao, no implication that Rosine brought her tragic end on herself by not being a good enough child abuse victim, just Guts sowing tragedy wherever he goes.

I have no idea how to deal with the conviction arc in general lol, specifically the ultra cynical tone the actual narrative seems to take. Like, the Black Swordsman arc was idealistic compared to the Conviction arc, they clash badly imo. Extremely badly. Like it’s a giant mess. It’s like

Black Swordsman Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *turns and wipes away a tear* *lets a zombie kid stab him* *evokes pity from puck*Conviction Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *poses with his sword in one hand and the rescued love interest in the other* *the crowd cheers* *luca nods sagely*

yk it’s just… awkward. It’s hard to mitigate through like, film choices yk, because a lot of it is due to the circumstances. Guts telling Puck innocent people are just ants under his feet is much different than Guts refusing to let the big bad kill Casca by telling him that tens of thousands of people can and should die because they pray too much lmao, no matter what music plays in the background. Guts’ attitude is the same, the narrative’s attitude is contradictory.

Maybe I could make Guts less of a dick and cut a lot of those cynical moments? Not really call attention to the fact that Guts is effectively sacrificing tens of thousands of refugees for Casca, or more accurately, for his own desire to feel like a hero since he isn’t even the one who saves Casca, he got distracted trying to fight the fake Godhand.

Or lol maybe I’ll just have Isidro point that out in like, a smug way. Maybe I’ll have NeoGriffith personally thank him for his contribution to his resurrection. I mean I really want to call this questionable shit into question, yk? Not to declare Guts wrong for wanting to save Casca, but to declare his cavalier idgaf attitude a big problem that has consequences. Which would actually tie in nicely with emphasizing Guts’ dumbassery in brushing off Skull Knight’s warnings about the armour and insisting it’s nbd. lol I really hope this is what Miura’s going for, just more subtlely.

Actually I wonder if I could get away with cutting Isidro out entirely. Anyone could’ve saved Casca there.

Oh I’d cut the hell out of a lot of Guts’ fight scenes in the MF arc, and if I could possibly get away with it I’d cut out everything on the beach after Skull Knight’s ominous warning. Like this might end up being the Griffith show for a while because Guts’ half is a fucking slog. And of course I’d cut the entire boat trip. They get on a boat, they get off a boat, the end.

Okay I need to stop somewhere. I’m ignoring a lot of later stuff because it’s so dependent on where the story’s going now that Casca is awake etc. Like eg the Moonlight Boy. Can I cut him? Give him a more ominous tone? Emphasize the saccharine tone he evokes for the sake of pulling the rug out from under the audience later? Will I be forced to make huge changes anyway because I can’t stand where the story ended up going? Idk it depends.

If I could tho I’d definitely cut Magnifico, Isidro, Ivalera, mermaid… like Farnese, Serpico, and Schierke are the only characters on Guts’ side who contribute to the story in a meaningful way. And without Isidro Puck could again too.

Oooh yk one thing that might be nice would be framing Farnese as the main protagonist of Guts’ half of the story during the MF arc. Just focus on her, show more stuff from her perspective, cut down a lot of fights but keep her digression back home, maybe give her some additional content that explores her character shift better, show her struggling more with her own inner darkness a bit when she first joins and give her some character beats as she slowly grows more comfortable with Casca, maybe put her backstory chapters in the first episode of a new season (a great season ender would be Guts walking away from the Hill of Swords js), etc.

lmao god I feel like I could keep going forever. sorry this is so meandering but ty for giving me the opportunity to go on and on about this. Is there anything you’d really like to change yourself?