#i wish i knew if it's bacteria or virus

[coffincoitus]

upper respiratory tract feels so much better! unfortunately I have bronchitis now

[fairyniceyeah]

⌛👑No more, keep your soul

Title from HALAZIA (ATEEZ)

Summary: The morning before a concert Yeosang starts feeling awful to a point where he wishes to just be unable to perform but despite Hongjoong’s protests he is forced to be on stage.

CW: emeto, fainting, medics, hospital, idol mistreatment, self-doubt, open ending

Sickie: Yeosang Caretaker: Hongjoong

„Hyung, I don’t feel well.“

The five words every hyung-line K-Pop Idol dreaded to hear. Especially on the day of a concert. Especially when a few moments ago they had been asleep.

Hongjoong was no exception. Every time one of his dongsaengs was in distress he had to try to keep it together in his worry for their health. San, Mingi and Wooyoung were the members most vocal about their wellbeing and so he heard those words often enough, though he would never get used to it.

Over the years and in the close, shared dorm illnesses used to spread like wildfire. Every time one of the members brought home any virus or bacteria be it a head cold, a common flu, the stomach flu or any other sickness soon most of them would be down. Now, in the new dorms divided into three groups and everybody with their own room, illnesses could be contained to one room or at least one apartment. Most of the time. Still, Hongjoong wasn’t any more happy about the words that had pulled him from sleep.

ATEEZ were to perform in about twelve hours in one of the biggest stadiums in Seoul. ‘At least they were in Seoul and not in a hotel in a foreign country’, Hongjoong thought to himself as he stared at his pale dongsaeng, who was clutching the door frame to his hyung’s room with one arm, the other wrapped around his stomach.

It was unusual for Yeosang to admit to sickness at times, even to his members, so color Hongjoong surprised and, most of all, very very worried. Besides, to have his shy dongsaeng wake him up was enough of a reg flag.

The hallway was flooded with light but as Hongjoong’s room was still dark, he concluded that it was very early. After a quick look at his alarm clock, his suspicion was confirmed. Not even six am. Despite wanting nothing more than curling up and going back to sleep, Hongjoong lifted his covers to invite the younger man in.

They had had a movie night the previous evening and Yeosang had fallen asleep half-way through. Jongho had carried him to his bed, none of them willing to wake him if he was so exhausted, and then had just decided to spend the night in Yeosang’s bed at the dorm he shared with Yunho.

Maybe they should have been more worried about Yeosang’s unusual behavior.

“Come in, Sang-ah, and tell me what is going on”, he encouraged and quickly Yeosang crossed the room and crawled under the covers to press himself to his hyung. It was not often that Yeosang willingly sought out skinship but Hongjoong supposed if he was awake now something must be wrong enough that he wanted a hug anyway.

Hongjoong wrapped his arm around the younger man, letting him seek any comfort he needed. Who was he to deny him that?

He briefly touched Yeosang’s forehead, feeling for a fever. He was warm, yes, but he had been under the bedcovers as far as Hongjoong knew and so he wasn’t warm enough to worry Hongjoong into leaving him to fetch a thermometer.

“Hyung, my stomach hurts and I feel sick”, Yeosang muttered, sounding close to tears. The captain sighed. It was really terrible timing but it wasn’t Yeosang’s fault.

“Did you throw up?”, he asked. Yeosang shook his head. At least something - though if Yeosang was up in the middle of the night because of the nausea, he didn’t doubt that it stood in their near future. How near remained to be seen.

“Think you are going to?”

“Maybe”, Yeosang whispered, “I don’t want to, hyung.”

“If you need to, you need to, Yeosangie. You might feel better after”, Hongjoong reassured him. If Yeosang truly was sick, there was nothing to be done, concert be damned. Either Yeosang got better soon enough to sing sitting down or they would need to perform as seven. It wasn’t ideal but there was no better alternative. After all, they couldn’t just cancel the concert.

Yeosang whined, not sounding convinced at all. “Hyung, I just want to sleep. I’ve been up for hours. Maybe I will feel better when I wake up.” He sounded hopeful but Hongjoong wasn’t.

“You could have woken me up earlier, baby”, he settled on saying.

The younger just shrugged, clearly not wanting to talk about it. “Can I just try to sleep here?”

“Of course”, Hongjoong said softly, running his hand through Yeosang’s hair to try to get him to calm down.

⌛

It didn’t work. Less than twenty minutes later Yeosang, who had fallen into a light sleep, jerked upright, a gag ringing in the otherwise silent room.

“Alright, okay, let’s sit in the bathroom for the moment”, Hongjoong said, pushing himself up to try to get his dongsaeng to the toilet in time. He pulled Yeosang to his feet, the younger not at all steady, and moved them to the bathroom as fast as possible. Hongjoong spared a fleeting thought to Wooyoung, hoping he didn’t wake up from their frantic run. He didn’t feel awake enough to deal with a sick dongsaeng and a panicked one on top.

They crashed to the floor in front of the toilet just in time for Yeosang to start gagging violently again. Hongjoong positioned him so he was kneeling down and sat beside him, one hand rubbing his back, the other gently holding his hair out of Yeosang’s eyes. He retched helplessly, over and over again, but nothing came up. A few strands of spit dangled from his lips but otherwise his efforts weren’t effective. He dry-heaved for a few minutes, Hongjoong whispering comforting nonsense into his ears.

“Baby, try to calm down”, the captain encouraged, heart breaking for his unwell member. Involuntary tears were running down Yeosang’s face and he was gasping for breath. Slowly, with Hongjoong’s help, the younger managed to calm down enough to slump into his hyung. Hongjoong kept running his hand over Yeosang’s back in a soothing motion and settled the younger into a more comfortable position against his side.

“I want my noona”, Yeosang whispered, voice a bit hoarse. Hongjoong took a deep breath. He felt about the same – he never had been that good with sickness and he longed for his eomma, who could comfort anybody who needed it. She would be so much better than Hongjoong in this position. It really wasn’t his forte, no wonder Yeosang wanted the reassurance of his older sister. Yeosang’s family lived so far away and due to their work the younger never had much time with them. He hadn’t seen them in so long – maybe Hongjoong could ask the CEO for a free week at one point.

“I know, baby, I know”, Hongjoong said helplessly. “How about I check for a fever and then you can lie down in my bed? I’ll get you a bucket in case you need to throw up?”

Yeosang nodded slightly but didn’t remove his hands that were clutching Hongjoong’s arm.

“Let me get up”, Hongjoong said and swiped Yeosang’s sweaty hair from his forehead.

Reluctantly the younger let go of him and Hongjoong walked to the cabinet, rummaging around trying to find where Seonghwa had placed the medical supplies last time Hongjoong had been sick. Maybe they even had something against the violent nausea.

Aha! Deep down in the cabinets Hongjoong never willingly opened he found what he was looking for and soon he crouched down next to Yeosang, holding out the forehead thermometer which was so much more hygienic than the in-mouth ones they had before.

“37.9”, he read out and leafed through the instructions to find out if that was a fever already. No matter how often he checked for elevated temperatures he never managed to remember the critical numbers. “That’s a low fever alright”, he muttered to himself, then looked up to the younger. “Do you think you can stomach some anti-nausea medication and something for the fever?”

Yeosang shook his head. “I don’t think I can put anything in my mouth.”

“Alright, let’s see if you feel better later on. Think you’re ready to go back to bed?”, Hongjoong asked. Yeosang nodded.

Carefully he helped the younger man up, letting him gain his bearings before they made their slow track back to Hongjoong’s bedroom. He laid Yeosang down on the mattress, pulled the covers over him and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Try to sleep, okay? I’ll get a bucket just in case and then I’ll join you.”

Yeosang nodded sleepily. Now that he was lying down again he seemed to be barely able to keep his eyes open.

Quietly Hongjoong walked out of the room towards the small alcove in the hallway where they stored their cleaning supplies, towels, bed sheets and so on. He grabbed one of the old, stained towels – a mirage to their constantly changing hair colors – and the designated sick bucket. When he entered his room again, he found Yeosang already deep asleep, so he silently crept the distance to the bed and placed the towel on the ground, the bucket on top. Seeing no possibility how he could crawl back under the blankets without waking his dongsaeng, he glanced towards his alarm clock. 06:09 am. He would take it – he had been up earlier often enough.

So he made his way back out and set about disinfecting the bathroom. While Yeosang hadn’t actually vomited (yet) he wanted to make sure the bathroom was as germ-free as possible. He knew it wouldn’t do much to calm Wooyoung’s nerves – the younger one so terrified of nausea and vomiting that he would probably refuse to use the bathroom nevertheless. Hongjoong sighed, not looking forward to the coming day.

⌛

Three hours and countless cups of coffee later Hongjoong had finished about two lines for their next comeback. Which wasn’t good but sue him, he was tired and he had been more focused on any sounds of distress coming from the bedroom than on his work.

Giving up on that particular task he took his phone out and sent a message to Yunho before calling Seonghwa. About nine o’clock on a concert day, most members would be up.

“Yeoboseyo”, Seonghwa greeted him, voice still deep from sleep. So much for expecting them to be awake.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”, Hongjoong said, hating if he disturbed some well deserved rest.

“Nah, I just haven’t found the motivation to leave my warm bed yet”, Seonghwa said with a laugh, “anyways, what can I do for you? It’s not like you to call so early.” Well, early was maybe a bit of a stretch but Seonghwa had a point. Hongjoong seldomly called first.

Hongjoong sighed and rested his head on his free hand. “It’s Yeosang-ah”, he answered and heard Seonghwa breathe in loudly in worry, “he’s sick. Woke me up at around five because he was nauseous and had a stomach ache. He hasn’t thrown up but I don’t doubt he will at some point. He really isn’t doing well.”

“Oh no, poor baby”, Seonghwa replied, sounding heartfeltly sorry for their younger member. “Does he have a fever? Do you need help? Did you talk with management yet?”

Hongjoong laughed a bit at the rapid questions. No wonder people always called him the mother of the group. “He was at 37.9° earlier. I haven’t called the manager yet, I wanted to do that as soon as I knew if it’s just Yeosang or if the others are feeling bad too. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine”, Seonghwa reassured him quickly, “I’ll go ask the kids how they are feeling. I think Mingi and Yeosang shared dinner yesterday, if it’s food poisoning he will be down too. Otherwise I guess we’ll all soon have the stomach flu.”

“Yey”, Hongjoong said in the least enthusiastic way possible.

“Hold on”, Seonghwa said and then a bit muffled Hongjoong heard him speak to somebody else. He took the time to check his messages to find Yunho saying that he and Jongho were feeling fine and that Jongho would stay over for the day.

“Mingi-yah is feeling fine, he asked me to tell you that you should tell Yeosang to feel better. Sannie isn’t up yet but he was gaming until late, I won’t be surprised if he sleeps a few hours yet. If he hasn’t gotten up by eleven I’ll be worried”, Seonghwa concluded, having put the phone back to his ear.

“Alright”, Hongjoong said, “well, that’s good. I texted Yunho already and it seems like it’s just Yeosang-ah. Wooyoungie isn’t up yet though.”

“He’ll have a hard time today”, Seonghwa mumbled sadly, knowing how badly Wooyoung’s emetophobia was, “if he wants he can come over as soon as he’s up.”

“Thank you, Hwa”, Hongjoong replied, “I wanted to ask that too.”

“Of course.”

They chatted for a few minutes until Hongjoong decided that he better text the manager as early as possible.

To Manager-hyung (09:20): Good morning! Yeosang isn’t feeling well, he was up with nausea and a slight fever (37.9°) earlier. I can’t say for sure but I don’t think he can perform today.

From Manager-hyung (09:22): Good morning, Joong-ah! We’ll have to see if he can sit out. If he absolutely can’t perform I’ll do everything in my power to keep him off the stage but I can’t make any promises. Sorry.

To Manager-hyung (09:24): Please do your best! I’m worried about him.

Hongjoong nearly suffered a heart attack when suddenly a voice next to his ear called a loud “Good morning, hyung!”. He barely managed to suppress the scream but might have hit Wooyoung who was grinning gleefully at him. Hongjoong threw him a dirty look.

“Who are you so intensely texting that you don’t notice me?”, Wooyoung asked with a small and very fake pout. Hongjoong sighed. He was very much not looking forward to telling the younger man about the events of the night.

“Morning, Wooyoungie. I was texting manager-hyung. I was up with Yeosangie early this morning, he isn’t feeling very well. Nauseous and a slightly higher temperature than I would like but he hasn’t thrown up”, he informed Wooyoung who immediately paled and had a slightly panicked look on his face.

“Oh”, he whispered and then: “I was just in the bathroom…”

“I disinfected everything and as I said he didn’t actually throw up. He’s just really nauseous, so you don’t need to wo…”

“Hongjoong-hyung?”, the panicked voice of Yeosang called loudly, followed by a harsh gag. It was like fate hated him.

“Sorry, Wooyoungie, why don’t you go over to Seonghwa’s?”, Hongjoong called over his shoulder, already half-way out of the kitchen.

He found Yeosang sitting on the edge of his bed, the bucket on his lap and his face buried in there. Coughing and gagging echoed from inside though Hongjoong didn’t hear the tell-tale sound of liquid hitting plastic.

“Oh, baby”, Hongjoong mumbled and took a seat next to Yeosang, gently rubbing his back. A glance into the bucket (though he would rather do anything else) revealed what he had already suspected – Yeosang was still not bringing anything up.

“Try to take a deep breath, love”, Hongjoong suggested when it became clear that Yeosang would not vomit at this point. “I’m sorry you’re feeling so sick.”

“I really don’t feel good, hyung”, Yeosang whispered and turned so he could bury his face in Hongjoong’s shoulder. With a sigh, Hongjoong drew him in his arms. He wished he could help the younger somehow.

“I already texted with manager-hyung”, he said instead, “he said you might be able to get out of performing tonight if you don’t feel better.”

Of course Yeosang immediately heard the other part of that sentence.

“I might have to perform?”, Yeosang asked, eyes wide and instantly teary. It was clear that he wasn’t in any position to work that day. Normally he would fight to perform so it must be really bad. “Hyung, I…?”

He was interrupted by the sound of Hongjoong’s phone ringing. As Hongjoong was about to decline he saw it was the same manager who he had texted with earlier. Maybe he had good news.

⌛

“I have bad news”, the manager started, sounding apologetic, “I called a few of the higher-up executives and they said unless Yeosangie is running a higher fever than 38.5°C or keeps throwing up he has to perform.”

“Well, shit”, Hongjoong said, running a hand through his hair. God, this was the worst possible outcome, “Hyung, isn’t there anything you can do?”

“I can’t do anything right now. I’ll have the medics check on him before the show though, maybe they are more helpful. I’m sorry I can’t do more for you.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault”, Hongjoong said, “thank you, see you later. Bye.”

Yeosang was looking at him with fear written all over his face. “I have to perform?”, he guessed from the parts of the conversation he had been able to hear.

“Not if I can help it, baby. If you get a higher fever or throw up you won’t set a foot on stage. I’ll try to convince the medics to declare you unfit for performing”, Hongjoong promised. If Yeosang did not want to perform then it really was bad. Normally he never even actively sought out anybody for help. Maybe it was the exhaustion of the past months, maybe it was something else but Hongjoong had a bad feeling about it.

Yet, for now, all they could do was wait.

⌛

Yeosang managed to sleep for most parts of the day. His fever wasn’t rising but it also didn’t go down.

The worst was the moments he was awake, feeling sick and gagging over the bucket for minutes at times without getting sick. Hongjoong was quickly becoming sick of that particular problem. It hurt to see the poor dancer this ill.

The manager was to take them to the venue in the afternoon so after a few hours Hongjoong had no choice but to go see if he could get Yeosang to wake up again. He had slept soundly for longer than an hour at this point and Hongjoong wanted anything but to wake him. He had no choice, however.

“Yeosang-ah”, he whispered, shaking his shoulder slightly. The younger man barely stirred, so Hongjoong tried a bit harder. It took a few minutes until he was looking into Yeosang’s barely awake but already teary eyes.

“It’s time?”, he guessed, his voice full of fear. 

Hongjoong just nodded. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

“It’s not your fault, hyung”, Yeosang replied quietly, sitting up over the side of the bed. “I want to take a shower. Can you get me some clothes?”

Hongjoong nodded. “Do you need help getting to the bathroom?”

Yeosang shook his head and shakily made his way out of the bedroom.

Hongjoong sighed and followed him. He decided to get some of Jongho’s clothes for him - he knew that Yunho could bring over some of Yeosang’s own clothes but he knew it would bring comfort to his dongsaeng to wear borrowed clothes.

As Hongjoong knocked on the bathroom door, he heard the sound of the tap running. Concluding that Yeosang wasn’t in the shower yet, he decided to walk in and nearly dropped the clothes in shock.

“Yeosang-ah? What are you doing?”, he asked his sobbing dongsaeng, who was chucking back a glass of water - not the first one from the splashes of liquid on his shirt. Yeosang didn’t seem to hear him - or just straight-up ignored him - and refilled the empty glass to start drinking again.

Now Hongjoong did drop the clothes and ran over to him, grasping his wrist before the glass could make contact with Yeosang’s lips.

“What are you doing?”, he repeated frantically. He couldn’t make sense of the younger’s actions. Just earlier he had refused a few sips of water and now he was drinking it like no tomorrow?

“Hyung”, Yeosang cried and lowered the glass, “I … the manager said I can’t perform if I throw up, right? So I thought drinking a lot of water would actually make me sick and I could sit out but now I just feel even worse.” He started to cry at that and, feeling helpless and not knowing what to say, Hongjoong just pried the cup from his fingers and set it down before pulling Yeosang in an embrace.

Hongjoong had always promised himself he would never ever let his members get mistreated. Yet, here he was, stopping his dongsaeng from making himself throw up so he didn’t have to be on stage when sick. How had it come to this?

Why couldn’t he be a good captain? But he was too scared to boycott the concert – ATEEZ was just growing in popularity and they couldn’t just refuse to perform for some “minor illness”. Was he really such a coward?

“Oh, baby, I am so sorry”, he whispered and rubbed the sobbing younger’s back. There was nothing else he could do.

“Hyung, hyungie”, Yeosang sobbed, shaking like a leaf, “I can’t do this.”

Hongjoong took a deep breath, scared he would start to cry along with his dongsaeng. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t force Yeosang to perform. There was no way. He hid his face in Yeosang’s shoulder to hide his own tears.

⌛

“I can’t do anything”, the manager said, “I tried, I promise, Joong-ah. He needs to be on stage…”

“Hyung, Sang-ah tried to force himself to throw up so he wouldn’t have to perform. You know him, Yeosang always wants to be on stage but he can’t do it today”, Hongjoong yelled.

After the whole ordeal he had helped Yeosang take a shower, the younger predictably feeling even worse than before. They had waited for the manager to gather them, hoping that seeing Yeosang would help sway the decision but it was clear that the manager was as powerless as they were.

“I … I am sorry”, the captain immediately apologized, seeing the hurt look on the manager-hyungs face, “I am sorry. Just … I’m so scared.”

“I know, Joong-ah”, the manager said and wrapped him in a quick hug. Hongjoong relaxed for a moment, letting himself and his responsibility be held. “I am too. I even tried to reach the CEO on his vacation but I couldn’t reach him. I know he would let Yeosang sit out. The best I could do was make his substitute allow Yeosang-ah to sit down while singing. He doesn’t have to dance.”

Hongjoong exhaled. At least something. It was like a tiny bread crumb was thrown to a starving man but he would take it. It minimized the risk of falling and injury if nothing else.

“I am so sorry, Yeosangie”, the manager said and bowed to the younger man sitting curled up on the couch with his arms wrapped around his bloated and churning stomach.

“Thank you for trying”, Yeosang said quietly, “at least I don’t have to fear puking on stage from moving.”

That was barely any consolation, wasn’t it?

⌛

“Hello ATINY”, Hongjoong yelled into the mic, causing the whole stadium to start cheering. He threw a glance at Yeosang, who was sitting off to the side on a chair as promised, before he continued: “Yeosang-ah isn’t feeling 100% today so he will stay sitting down. Please give him all your love.” The crowd cheered again and a chant of ‘feel better, Yeosang-ah’ started up.

For the first time today Yeosang smiled.

For the first time today Hongjoong thought they could do it.

⌛

The VCR break was much needed. Somehow it was always more difficult to perform with one member less dancing with them - it threw off their energy. None of them wanted to be on stage when they knew one of eight was off their game.

The members were all so worried for Yeosang and it clearly showed though they tried to hide it. 

Hongjoong was taken to the side by the stylist-noona as soon as he got off stage so he had lost sight of the sick member. He was impatient to return to Yeosang’s side but he knew he had to let the stylist do her job.

Just as she was done fixing his make-up and he was already half-way out of his seat to look for Yeosang, Hongjoong spotted the younger man leaning against the far wall. His face was completely ashen, sweat was pouring down his face and body, leaving him more sweat-soaked than any of them and he was swaying slightly.

“Joong-hyung”, he called out weakly, as if sensing Hongjoong’s eyes on him. All members turned to face him. 

Then Yeosang leaned forward, nearly falling flat on his face, and threw up. Huge amounts of the water he had drunk spilled from his lips to create a disgusting puddle on the floor which was growing rapidly as all of them were frozen in shock, except for Wooyoung who whimpered and was pulled into a comforting embrace by Mingi.

It was what Hongjoong had nearly hoped for but now as he watched his dongsaeng get so sick he couldn’t do anything but stare. How had they come to this? How was throwing up during a clothing change a good thing?

Between a few retches, Yeosang was able to look up at Hongjoong with teary eyes.

There was a smile on his face, so unfitting the position he was in. Then Yeosang mumbled: “This means I don’t have to perform anymore, right?”

Before Hongjoong could respond, Yeosang’s eyes rolled back into his head and it was as if it was in slow-motion that Hongjoong watched him stumble a few steps backwards before collapsing. Yunho, who had been sitting on a nearby sofa, jumped to his feet and barely managed to catch him before he hit the floor.

Everything happened so fast then. The managers called for the medics who came running, swarming him and Yunho, shoving an oxygen mask on Yeosang’s face, taking his vitals. The numbers flew right over Hongjoong’s head as he watched in shock. 

“Hyung”, a small voice said and Hongjoong turned to see Jongho standing beside him, looking on with worry. But he grasped Hongjoong’s hand tightly and whispered: “Yeosangie-hyung is going to be fine, don’t worry, hyung.”

All Hongjoong could do was squeeze his hand back.

⌛

“He’s just exhausted and dehydrated”, the head medic concluded, “that’s why he passed out. We’ll take him to the hospital for fluids and medication but he will be fine in a few days.”

“Thank you”, the manager said, “I’ll go with him. Then I will contact the CEO by all means necessary. Hongjoong-ah, I’ll have the other manager make an announcement that the break will take a bit longer. Take your time to get the team’s nerves together and continue. For Yeosang and for ATINY! Hwaiting!”

Hongjoong closed his eyes and nodded. He didn’t want to watch the medics carry off his Yeosangie on a stretcher. But they were idols. They had to go on. People had paid to see them. 

Suddenly an arm was wrapped around the captain and then more and more until all members held him in a group hug. 

It was going to be a long concert. 

Was it even worth it?

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - ATEEZ

[theutiarchives]

2022

Since I started writing this blog I didn't really have a clear idea of what I would do with it long term, I just knew I wanted to share my bladder fulguration journey for those who had symptoms similar to mine. For history and updates check those posts. On the 12month update I mention what fulguration meant for me.

So overall, in 2022 I only had one bladder infection, (feels surreal), luckily e.coli, which I managed to treat it with dmannose and a few extra herbals (completely new territory for me, as I’ve never been able to do this). Honestly feels like it’s not me, but it is. For many, this would mean I’m cured. For others, I’m just managing things with the dmannose, (for e.coli) as the underlying cause is probably still here. I do feel like my GAG layer did improve, and I am able to eat things that would provoke irritation & cause infections to surface many times. But I’m not able to have intercourse without the dmannose for example, as I truly feel an infection would follow. And I still don’t tolerate B vitamins & a few other things (including general Lactobacillus/Bifidum probiotics), as my bladder still reacts very negatively. And if I insisted, an infection would come. High loads of bacteria, always.

However, and having in mind my previous 11years, being able to get here is a huge, huge, huge win. What I wasn’t expecting is the type of damage the antibiotics did for all these years. Being diagnosed with SIBO and loosing 8kg so far and looking honestly horrible, too skinny to look healthy or feel ok, was a price I had no idea I was going to pay. SIBO is a beast. I’m under treatment now and will retest also around February 2023, maybe sooner. Also not cool is this persistent HPV with cervical pains, for over 2y now, especially with cervical cancer history in direct family. I try not to think about this often, take my antivirals and follow the diet that is evidence based to improve my condition and so far all in all, I’m now down to 1 active strain, whereas this spring I had 3. Intercourse is very adapted to what I can cope - which is little. I will retest now, around February 2023, fingers crossed this remaining one is gone. However I was hoping the pain would start to subside, and it hasn’t. HPV is systemic as any virus and I suspect the damage is very, very deep. My cervix no longer looks inflamed for example - which is great. But the deep pelvic pain in a certain direction is there, and not a lot of pressure is needed. My pelvic therapist is amazing and goes way way beyond the typical excercises. Having Adeno also isn’t great, but that’s not news. And it’s something that also improved with time. I would need several pills to get by during my period, but not anymore. Pains are still there, but just for the first day, and I manage them the best I can without any pharmaceuticals now. This is also huge for me.

So basically this year was the year I managed to at least put a *huge* break in the bladder front, but unfortunately all abx and immune changes came with a high price to pay, health wise. The amount of stuff abx managed to wreck still leaves me sort of speechless to be honest. But last year around this time I had no idea whatsoever that the bladder problems would be totally under control in less than a year, and yet here I am. So I hope next year I can share a post on how I also managed to heal from SIBO and all the remaining issues. I’m tired of “issues”, I just wanted to be a normal person and live my life without any health worries, but I’m 37 and I do plan to be a mother, so I have to fight to get my body and health back into shape. And even if I didn’t plan to be a mother, I’d want the same, because I’m definitely feeling and looking weak. And as always, I’ll be as optimistic as possible along the way and live everything life has to offer in the “in betweens” of any ups and downs, weather they’re health related, or personal, or professional!

I wish the world comes to a better place next year and as for everyone else reading this, a huge hug if you’re struggling. Don’t give up 🤍.

(as an European non-English native please feel free to correct me) Take care 🌿

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Can we have more of bff!reader who has Jason's teddy bear? I am now obsessed with the idea because you made it so cute 🖤

Bruce settled back in his chair and waited, watching the cafe patrons- Some of them had taken notice of him. But most people were too Busy trying to get their caffeine fix on the way to work to care very much about the billionaire sipping tea and people watching.

Which suited him fine. Ostensibly he was there on business.

Business he created to have an excuse to check on you, sure. But business nonetheless.

He'd never adopted you. Or even formally been your foster parent. But he felt responsible for you. Even after Jason's death.

Responsible enough that he paid your tuition and had a job in mind for you. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't exactly nepotism if you were qualified. And, in the Absence of Jason, he could think of no one better to over see the Martha Wayne foundation. If, that is, he could coax you back to Gotham.

He hadn't wanted you to go to NYU. But, he understood why you couldn't stay. Too many ghost hiding in Alleys and dark corners. Too many people too familiar with your parents. Too many memories that looked so much bleaker now that you were an adult who understood how dangerous it had been to grow up like you had. You wanted a chance to define your life on your own terms.

And when you breeze into the cafe, windblown and looking well. Bright-eyed and busy-tailed despite the hour, it sets him at ease a little.

When you spot him and give a little wave before going to order your drink, he smiles a little, not bothering to check his watch. He knew you were precisely 10 minutes early. A habit he never understood but a quirk he enjoyed.

"So do you really have things to do today or did you just want to make sure I wasn't partying too hard?" you ask teasing, dropping into a chair.

"A little of both," he allowed, "But. I thought it was a fair assumption to say your partying is still closing down the library- Babs sends her congrats on making the Dean's List Again and Alfred told me to tell you that you're on track to beat the record."

You grin at him over your paper cup and half shrug, "Everyone is good at something I guess."

And for just a second, in his mind's eye, he sees a tiny, scruffy little girl telling him matter of factly that Yesenia Pestis originated with Tobargan Marmots and gerbils- NOT black rats. Even if they did carry the bacteria, not a virus through Europe. All the while, Jason nodded in agreement.

In another life, the pair of you would have made an outstanding Author duo- And not for the first time, he wished it was another life.

[kagemaruzest69]

Lovesick {Karl Heisenberg x Reader}

Ch. 1 - {The Village}

【ιт ιѕ тнє ℓινєѕ ωє єη¢συηтєя тнαт мαкє ℓιƒє ωσятн ℓινιηg】

It was finally a time that (Y/N) and her boyfriend, James had been waiting for. A time off from work, a vacation that the two of them really needed. Even when the two works at different offices, everyone knew that the two were an inseparable couple that was sweet and dreamy. Everyone loved and cheered for their relationship to go keep going strong. The couple decided to go to a village in the Eastern Europe that they had read in articles and it looked like a perfect place for them to visit and enjoy their quiet time together, just the two of them.

The fateful day came, however, upon arriving on the destinated village, it looked abandoned, deserted by its villagers even. It totally looked nothing like the pictures in the articles, but the nature surrounding the village and the giant castle that ghosted over the small village are really stunning and had their own magic charm to the visitors. The first step into the village, the couple noticed that the village was not deserted, there were villagers, but they were watching the outsiders from behind the window of their homes. (Y/N) and James were curious about this, if there were villagers around, how come does the village look so deserted? They looked at each other and decided to shrug it off. Since they have just arrived, they were hungry and decided to look for a restaurant or something similar that might be open within the village.

After an hour of searching there were none, so they decided to go to the outskirts of the village and sat by a river stream to catch some fishes for themselves. The air was chill, and the atmosphere was really calm and serene, unlike the true nature of the village. James went to catch the fish, whilst (Y/N) took some water from the stream and boiled it to ensure that it is safe from any bacteria or virus. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to them, a certain parasite that had evolved with the mold, known as the Cadou to certain groups was living within the water and the fishes that they drank and ate. It might be dormant within their bodies right now, but soon enough, it will seal the couple’s fate to the village that they had set their foot in.

After the meal, the two went back to the village. During their path back, (Y/N)’s (E/C) orbs caught the silhouette of a factory on the outskirts of the village, however, the wind was blowing harder by this time and the snow and fog began to thicken that she was unsure if what she saw was something that’s real and truly there. The couple intertwined their fingers together and walked close to share the warmth between the two until they arrived back at the village and stumbled upon what it looked like the village’s church. They went inside to take shelter from the upcoming snowstorm.

The church was smaller compared to the other churches they have been to, but it was enough for the villagers. Inside the church, they found an old woman, sitting by the front seat, praying to Mother Miranda. (Y/N)’s right eyebrow was raised before her eyes darted over from the old woman to the front of the church where there was a picture of a woman in the middle, and another four pictures, each two pictures were placed side by side adjacent to the middle woman. It looked kind of straight from a horror movie, but the pair decided to be polite about it and sat at the furthest chair from the front.

“Youngsters, the two of you are not from around here, aren’t you?” The old woman’s voice echoed within the church’s hall. “No, we’re actually visitors and we have just arrived here today.” James answered whilst (Y/N) scooted closer to the male’s side, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation and the air. “Oh my, you should pray for your safety and I wish you safe through your journey. Shall Mother Miranda bless you.” The old woman stood up from her seat. “The storm will be here soon along with the others. The two of you should stay here until it is over. I do not advise that you two go out while the storm is present. It is unsafe and you might become its prey.” Her sentence was enough to make (Y/N) alerted, her lips were parted, “Mother Miranda? Who is that? And whose prey? There are predators here?” she queried in hurry as fear laced her questions. “The goddess and the protectors of the land.” was the old woman’s short answer before she left the couple alone in the church.  

A look of dread was present on (Y/N) face before she turned to hug her boyfriend which embraced her back tightly. “We will be fine, don’t worry, it could be just a tale that the elders told the youngsters here to make sure that the youngsters would stay in line and act accordingly to the village’s moral value. To make sure that the children would stay away from troubles.” James assured (Y/N). This managed to calm her down. As she closed her eyes and hugged him, a twisted smile played upon his lips as a wicked plan formed within his head. “After the snow is over, we will set up our camp on the nearby hill.” She nodded and retracted her arms from his body. “I love the nature here, however, I have a bad feeling about this village.” She told him with a sigh. “I know my dear, but we will be out of here soon, don’t worry. I promise you that I will keep us safe.”

Hours passed by, probably around 3 to 4 hours since the snowstorm started, and it had died down. The two had fallen asleep within each other’s arms during the wait and (Y/N) had woke up first. She nudged her lover softly with her hand, waking him up from his pleasant slumber. His eyebrows were scrunched before his eyes opened to find her and a small smile was formed upon his lips. “Is it over?” He asked her and she replied with a nod. “Let’s set up our camp soon, the nighttime is getting closer.” (Y/N) stood up from the seat and took her things as James got ready as well. The two walked hand-in-hand to the nearby hill and set their camp up for the night. As she sat by the folding chair, she saw the factory once again. ‘So, it was real’ she thought to herself. The factory looked huge and once again, abandoned just like the village. However, she found it to be very enticing, maybe it was because of her love for machines and she had a hobby to tinker with something during her free time back at her hometown.

A tap was felt on her left shoulder and she turned her head from the factory to the face of her lover. He had a handsome face, soft baby blue eyes with short blonde hair with an undercut style and clean shaved face.  He smiled and offered her a glass of water which she took, “Thank you.” She said before she took a sip of the water. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” His blue orbs were looking up to the night sky before it went to where (Y/N) was looking at before. “And that factory over there, I am sure it had caught your interest, I happened to see it on our way back to the village which is why I decided to camp on this hill because I know that you would love it and we will be able to go there and do a little search tomorrow. A little adventure at a place that I know you will love,” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead. “And it seems I was right,” he smirked playfully at her, a small giggle escaped her lips. “You are right about that.” The camp on the hill and the factory had somewhat eased her memory about what the old woman had said upon their encounter within the church. “Let’s rest up, there are a lot of places and things to do tomorrow,” James held out his hand to (Y/N). She gladly took his hand and they headed inside their shared tent to rest for the night.

Morning came by quickly. The pair had disassembled their tent and packed their things up. The very next thing they did after their breakfast was heading straight to the factory. (Y/N) eyes lit up in amazement as they arrived at the factory’s front gate. She pushed it open, enough for them to get inside. The front yard was filled with rusted and unused things, starting from rusty scraps, metal scraps, tanks and many more. “Should we head inside?” She asked her boyfriend, unsure whether the factory was still operating or if someone or something reside within it. Oh, how would she jump out of her body had she known that the factory held all kind of nightmares she could ever dream of escaping from and the master of the factory was not one to be too fond of visitors, or rather it was his ‘family’ that was not fond of outsiders. Upon stepping inside, she rushed on her own to inspect the machines inside whilst James, on the other hand, went to look for a metal bar that he would use to execute his plans. He had planned to leave her alone, and possibly it would kill her and soon he would be free from her, he would be free to do what he wants and most importantly, he would be free to be together with his other lover that he had been having an affair with for the past 3 months. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he had cheated on her and chose an even worse way to solve his problem, to solve his fault. She could die and if the old woman was right, the protectors could capture or even kill her for he didn’t care about her anymore.

He stalked her quietly as not to raise her suspicions and within the right moment, he struck her with the metal bar he found. The metal bar hit right behind her head which sent her body into a shocked state and she fell unconscious right away as blood began to seep out of her wounded head. He quickly tied her to the chair in the main room using the rope he found. It was only the very first room they were in, he truly intended to make it quick for himself and then he fled out of the factory, leaving the door open, and somewhat he managed to leave the village this time.      

In the end, who knew that even in the sweetest relationship, there would still be a flaw. After all, nothing is perfect, and imperfection would always follow everyone. And unfortunately, the dearest (Y/N) found out the hole within their relationship, one that she had been turning blind eye on.

Meanwhile, the master of the factory, Karl Heisenberg was just returning from a ‘family’ meeting and he was curious as to why the factory’s main door was open. No one has ever dared to sneak into his factory and live to tell the tale. He went inside and much to his shock and surprise, he found a woman, a barely conscious woman was tied onto a chair. Karl took a drag from his cigar and exhaled the smoke before he placed his hammer down to the side. “My, oh sweet dear, what do we have here? Who was the kindhearted Santa that had left a gift for this old man?” He asked no one, but to himself. He then proceeded to use his metal power to call in a knife and cut the rope off of the female. He walked close to her and examined her, soon, he found out that she had a wound on the back of her head. A frown could be seen instantly as his brown eyes landed on the wound. He lifted her up bridal style into his main workstation which happens to be his own bedroom as well. He placed her on top of his soft mattress as he tended to her wound. What was the reason he did that? He did not know, especially she was an outsider. Maybe he was bored of what he had within his factory and he thought that she would be a new toy to play and experiment with. Maybe he was interested, intrigued by what story she could regale him with about the outside world. For now, he would keep this little prize that came out of nowhere for himself, and shall the time come, he will only then bring her up in the ‘family’ meetings.

-------------------------------------

I will attach the wattpad link to each of the chapter headings. Thank you

[shelby-love]

JAY HALSTEAD

NF Quarantine Visits

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: none

Authors note: NF stands for necrotising fasciitis; Riley is your partner

"Look we're doing everything we can but there's no strong leads we can use right now." Jay informs Sharon Goodwin of CPD's latest news about the state of emergency the city of Chicago was currently in.

"I have people in quarantine Jay and the press isn't helping us at all." Sharon told him. "This isn't something out of the blue. Someone has to be behind this mess."

"We're doing everything we can but that's all I can give you right now."

"Incoming!" Maggie calls out. She swiftly joins the group. "We can't keep up Sharon."

"Is it NF?"

"Yes it is. Y/N and Riley are bringing them in."

At the mention of his girlfriend Jay's heart sunk. He knew how dangerous your job was on the daily but now he truly understood the pressure you had on your chest.

It only made him work harder in figuring out who is behind this mess.

He saw you a lot but never for long enough. After it was debunked that the virus is spread airborne or through contact, you were able to hug and kiss Jay quickly whenever the two of you saw each other at Med. But nothing more than that.

Jay worked late at the District and your 24-hour shifts were long and hard as they were. Adding the outbreak heavied on the both of you.

The sound of heavy footsteps coming from the entrance alerted everyone and soon people stepped aside to let you and Riley through.

"Jasmine Black. 23 years old with necrotising fasciitis. I think we'll need to amputate her leg. It's... Gone." You informed the nurses. They did their job with you and called Crockett Marcel, hoping that he will be able to save her.

Your worried eyes spot Jay and the only thing you can do is nod sadly. You've been exposing yourself to the bacteria continuously, and each time you risked your life for someone else's it never ended well. So far, you didn't bring anyone who came out of the OR alive.

And that broke you.

"Do you think she'll make it?" Sharon asked Riley and you when you joined their little circle.

"No we don't think she will," Riley started to explain. Jay wrapped his arm around your shoulder and supported you for as long as possible. Soon, you and Riley will be back in the outside world in the heart of the outbreak. "The bacteria spread out in her leg, it's impossible to try to save her without amputation. And even with that we can only hope that she survives."

"Oh God. How are you girls feeling?" Goodwin placed her hand on your forearms in a soothing matter.

"We're tired but okay." You told her.

"I should probably get back to the District. If you find anything that can help us call me." He squeezed your shoulder and removed his arm before you could even stop him.

On que, your radio informed you of your new victim. "That's our que."

***

"Sir you need to lie down!" You command the man you're currently bringing into the ED. His arm is infected but he doesn't waste a beat when trying to get off the gurney.

"N-No!" He screams. Like a fish, the man flops off the gurney and tries to get away in a wonky run chase.

"For God's sake!" Riley exclaims. "Sir you are stuffed with anesthetics! You can't get away from us!"

You shoot her a look of pure invitation to help and she joins you in the chase. Using your running skills you accomplished by taking daily morning runs with your boyfriend, you appear in front of the drowsy man and once again command him to stop.

He does not in fact listen to your sane reasoning and throws his weak body onto yours. That wouldn't be a problem had he not collapsed unconscious on your unprotected body.

***

"Seriously Nat I'm fine." After the intense chase with an angered-drowsy-on-anesthetics patient you're stationed in one of the trauma rooms with Natalie Manning.

While Nat keeps checking you for any cuts or scratches you stay still and think about what happens next. "Will you put me in quarantine?"

"Only if you have any cuts that can catch the bacteria." In that moment her eyes land on your palm. There's a small scratch and blood over the wound.

"I-I always wear gloves." You try to reason with her. You can't be stuck in quarantine. Not now. Not when they need you.

The look on Natalie's face is enough to tell you otherwise. "I'm sorry Y/N."

***

"Welcome Y/N. Trust me, it's cosier than it looks." You join Hailey in your separate four walled vertical rectangle box. Supposedly, this will keep you from spreading the bacteria if you have it. You won't know that until you get your cultures back. "So. What brings you here?"

You laugh lightly, suddenly realising how poor your luck is. "A dude with anger issues that was high on anesthetics with an arm eaten away by the bacteria threw himself on me during one of his many aggressive episodes, and collapsed unconscious. Leaving me and my scratched bloody palm alone in quarantine."

"Correction. You're not alone." She says laughing. "I take it Riley got away."

"She had her protective gear on. And since we're low on paramedics that go on these runs, they let her go." You bring your palm in the air and wave it around. "My palm and I are stuck in here until the cultures come back."

And that's how you spent countless of hours in deep discussion with your boyfriend's partner in crime. While Hailey wanted to join Jay in finding out who did this, you wanted to get back into your ambulance and help save lives.

Neither of you could do what you wanted so you took that time and started to get to know each other. You already have three girlfriend dates scheduled and a whole birthday party for Riley and Jay planned out in bits.

After your conversation faded into comfortable silence the two of you were lost in your own thoughts. You let yourself think about how Jay will react once he finds out. A part of you wants him to visit you as much as it wants him to stay away from you and stay safe.

You're halfway on the road to dreamland when you hear his voice. "Y/N?"

You watch him make his way towards you with only one eye opened. Opening both of them would mean taking 100 steps back from dreamland and that's the last thing you wanted to do at the moment.

But seeing him stand in front of you, separated by only a thin clear foil looking curtain, killed your wish for sleep making you stand up and almost sprint towards him.

"Are you okay? How did this happen?" He asked you, worry dripping from his voice.

"I'm fine and it's a long story."

"I have time."

"Baby no you don't." You tell him sternly. When the two of you enter a silent battle of eye emotions, he comes out of it as the winner. Sighing in defeat you start to explain what happened to you.

"We already went through a breakout attempt since certain people act like they're prisoners." You throw a nasty look toward Sharlene, the crazy lady who started a revolution within her rectangular box of protection. "Jay I'm fine! I'll stay here and take a few naps and be out before you know it."

Both of you lean against the colorless foil of protection until your foreheads meet. A part of you wants to escape your cloud of safety just so you can press your lips against his but you know better than to do that. Both you do.

"Call me when you get out?"

"Geez you make it sound like I'm in jail." Your attempt at being subtly funny an lightening up the mood falls in the water when you notice his stare. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll call you don't worry."

"Good." Jay gives you a smile he reserves only for you. "I'll keep you posted."

"You better!!!" You exclaim. Your boyfriend is your only connection to the outside world.

"And I'll try to sneak in some food for you."

You almost shed a dramatic tear at his words. "Oh, Jay you're..."

"The best boyfriend ever?"

"The best boyfriend ever ever ever everrr!"

You spend a few more minutes with your boyfriend discussing the current situation before he talks to Hailey and eventually leaves.

Still dazed from love, worry and excitement, you return back to your sleeping position and walk back towards the road that's sure to bring you to dreamland.

MASTERLIST

[allandoflimbo]

Ashens (Part 3)

Summary: She falls in love with Bucky Barnes from the moment she sees him. Bucky, still in love with a woman from his past, hates Y/N and plans to make her life miserable. To both their dismay, they are assigned together to go undercover into The Capitol for six months. There, they develop a heartbreaking friend with benefits agreement. Dystopian.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 3,036

Rating: M for Mature, E for explicit. Enemies to lovers trope, sharing a bed trope, friends with benefits trope, temporarily unrequited love, heavy angry sex, heavy on the angst, and very strong language.

Full Masterpage

Month: February

Year: 2021

It had been three years since you saw your parents being murdered in your living room and since the civil war started.

Society had fallen.

First, it was the fight for the cure, then it was the fight for protection. Next, came the riots, the fight for food, and eventually, it all became a survival of the fittest.

Electricity and communication were no more. You don’t even remember the last time you saw a working TV. Family was no more. Violence and dishonesty were now the brutal answer.

These days, protection came in the form of clothing you owned and how much you had of it. After it became apparent that this virus was actually a bacteria born and flesh-eating disease, everyone did what they could to try and keep their skin protected as much as possible. It ate through the skin and took over your body like a plague. Heavy clothing equaled less chance of being infected. It didn’t take very long for clothing stores to be looted along with the grocery and drug stores.

Eventually, you’d have to make use of any clothing you found on dead bodies that were killed by assassination and not by the virus itself. You couldn’t risk that.

But even that was rare to come by. Everyone jumped at the opportunity of a clothed dead corpse. Whether it was for the scarf, the pants, shoes, or socks.

During the riots, most of the homes had all been destroyed either by fire or vandalism. Some tainted by dead bodies; murder scenes. Some eaten by the virus. You didn’t want to live in a home that was infected. Destroyed homes were ruined by the winter’s harsh snowstorms and the summer’s heavy rainfall. Because of their collapsed ceilings mixed in with the weather, it all eventually began to mold and collapse.

Life was no more, happiness and serenity were gone, except for in The Capitol.

No one could get inside The Wall. You heard rumors that it was guarded by heavy military and machine guns, and all of Hydra.

The Capitol was a place where your parents had planned for every single one of you to make use of to help you survive and live a happy life. It was supposed to be a safe haven, not this.

It was now the place that had been savagely stolen by Hydra and the evil rich. The migration into The Capitol had happened very soon after your parent’s death. The rich, elite, privileged, and only some certain politicians, were taken in.

The other politicians, you heard in rumors, had either killed themselves or were killed by other government officials, just like your parents had been. You heard rumors that this had been an undercover mission for years. They all knew how to take over the moment it was necessary.

Even the doctors and scientists had been taken with them. And you wondered if it was at their own will. Meanwhile, everyone else - people like you and Will and simple middle-class families with children - were forced to fight each other to stay alive.

A bloodbath.

The first few months you and Will had refused to fight anyone for food. That wasn’t in your moral plans. But it had eventually come a day when neither of you had eaten in three days, and the only thing left, in a dirty store off Route 95, was a loaf of bread. You, Will, and this random girl all argued until you eventually agreed on splitting it into three pieces.

The girl had been chewing her piece, devouring like she hadn’t eaten in days when her eyes landed on the tattoo on your neck, and immediately you knew she knew who you were. Her eyes grew dark and she jumped at the chance to attack you when Will came from behind, hitting her on the back of the head with a heavy bucket, making her pass out.

You knew that no one really knew what happened to your family. They all think it was your parent’s intentions for all of these horrible things to have happened. They blame you and your family for this. This only made you want to avenge your parents even more and even Will knew. This life wasn’t what they wanted, and it’s not what you wanted either.

You had been sitting one night, in the middle of a forest in Connecticut around a blazing fire, eating a fish you had just caught with your handmade spear. It had fed you both for many months. Will smiled over the fire at you, licking the meat off the bone clean.

“We’ll get there, Y/N.”

You stared at the fire in a daze. You hadn’t lost hope. Or at least you don’t think you did. Your feet had been bare for weeks and they were starting to chafe and bleed.

You wouldn’t admit it, but part of you did lose a little hope. You feared the first snowfall of the year. It was almost comical to you how your last worry at the moment was frostbite.

You took a deep breath, enjoying the taste of the Tilapia. You wrapped your heavy scarf over your shoulders.

“I know, I’m just tired. I wish I had more strength, I wish we had more strength. There’s two of us and thousands of them, Will.”

It was the first sign of doubt you had shown in months, and it surprised Will slightly.

“I know, but we can do it. I know we can.” he licked his fingers clean and then laid down on the wet and cold grass, his hands behind his head.

Could you do it? You weren’t sure anymore. You knew you wanted to kill Hydra and you wanted to overtake The Capitol. But were you two really capable of doing that? Have you two been delusional this entire time?

“Its been three years. Three years.” You said softly. Exhausted.

“True, but we’re young. And we’re smart. We have an advantage they don’t. That.” He bent one of his legs and stared up at the scars, a small smile tainting his lips, “We could always call The Avengers.”

You scoffed, running your hands through your hair as you threw the bare spine into the fire. You were a bit sad you finished it, your tummy still turning in hunger.

“What Avengers? Hydra destroyed their home, everything. They tried to fight and they lost. Worst than when Thanos beat them. And to make matters worse, this is a virus, it’s not something they can necessarily control. They’ve become overpowered, even the damn Avengers are overpowered now by Hydra. This is like a horror movie that will never end. It’s time we face the facts.”

Will smirked.

“I don’t know if I buy it. You mean to tell me even Bruce fucking Banner couldn’t break that damn wall?”

You gave him a glare.

“I don’t think the goal here is to break The Wall. If anything that would ruin the purpose, don’t you think?” you picked up a small and harmless rock and threw it at his chest, making him cringe, “dipshit.”

Will continued to stare up at the stars.  The night was midnight black, and now since there was no longer any electricity, you could even see the milky-way.

“I don’t see this ending badly.”

You wish you had his good heart and good soul. You furrow your brows at him.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“This whole thing. We’ll fix it, I know we will. I don’t know how, but it will happen. I’m sure of it.”

You consider his words and nod. You slowly take your time to get up and walk over to where he is. You pull your heavy apocalyptic-style hood over your head and scooch over closer to him. You cross your own arms behind your head, also looking up at the stars. They looked beautiful, and for the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to feel even a little bit serene.  This is why you enjoyed Will. He was your best friend and your guardian angel.

“You really think so?” You ask.

Will turned his head over and looked at you. You did the same thing, staring back into his eyes.

You were suddenly afraid; afraid of losing your friend. What would you do without a good soul like him to keep you sane and strong?

“I do.” There was no trace of doubt in his voice.

Still, you tried to believe him, you really did.

You and Will began to fend for survival. You often thought of killing your parent’s murderer when you would both be laying under a tree in the cold of the night trying to fall asleep. You would never forget that face.  You and Will would both alternate between being watchmen to guard your food and weapons. You mostly used the weapons just for hunting, but you never knew what could happen. Still, you remained alert and vigilant.

You both never ventured too much into the city, trying to stay on the outskirts as much as you possibly could. But one day you had cut your hand while trying to spear more seafood in a riverbed, and the cut ended up being deeper than you could manage. Not only did you fear it to get in the way of your hunting, but you also didn’t want your blood seeping in through your clothing, making it more versatile to the virus.

You both found a looted, but in not-too-bad-of-a-condition, dollar store just off the freeway. You both climbed over some of the abandoned cars, making sure to look in each one just in case there was something worth taking.

You got to the entrance of the store, and Will told you he would be outside waiting and keeping guard while you looked for some bandages.

The store was almost completely empty, yet you found your way into the med isle, stepping over fallen light fixtures and useless items like beanie babies and dusted up Happy Birthday cards. You were rummaging through some boxes when you heard it.

A scream.

Will.

Your heart jumped into your throat and you acted on autopilot. You didn’t second guess, you ran through the doors and over the fallen cable wires without hesitation. Your eyes searched the eery and abandoned parking lot. You didn’t see him and you screamed Will’s name over and over again, running around the deserted parking lot. You knew it was dangerous, but you had to find him. You heard a groan and you quickly saw him lying against the curb off to the side of the highway, his arm wrapped tightly around his waist.

You feared the worst.

“No, no,” you repeated to yourself. You tried to be careful to not slip on the black ice beneath your leather boots.

You ran towards his fallen body and the first thing you say was how pale he was. His face was emotionless. Most likely shock. You crouched down next to him and you pulled his arm away from his chest. You saw a knife sticking out from his upper abdomen and blood.

A lot of blood.

He was panting and it didn’t take you long to look up across the street. There was a man faced down into the pavement. You swallowed thickly, knowing there was a fight and Will had gotten hurt.

“He saw you and he kept saying he wanted your coat, he was a loon and he had a machete, and he — and he—” Will panted.

“Shhh, shhh.” You hugged him tightly to your body as you rocked him back and forth.

“I wanted to protect you.” “I know, Will. I know.” You cried, closing your eyes tightly together and holding him closer.

He barely coughed out, his eyes rolling back.

“It hurts.” He cried.

You saw heavy tears cloud your vision and you felt a sense of impending doom.

“I got you, Will, I got you.” You don’t know if you were speaking to him or yourself.

He stretched his arm up and grabbed yours, pulling your embrace tighter around his body.

“We’ll get them, Y/N. We’ll avenge your parents, I promise. I’m too strong for this.” He squeaked, “I won’t die.” He said through clenched teeth.

Tears ran down your face as you watched him grab his own open abdomen.

“You are, Will. You are so strong.” Your face tilted to the side as more sobs racked through your body, “Please, don’t leave me. I can’t be alone. I can’t do this alone.”

You felt his nimble fingers dig into your elbow, smearing you with his blood.

“I’m so sorry.” He whimpered, some blood escaping his lips this time.

“Please, please.” You cried over and over again, holding him tighter to your chest.

It didn’t take much longer for you to feel him go limp in your arms. Your body shook with your cries when you repeated it back to yourself: Will was dead.

You didn’t allow yourself to cry for too long. You wanted to but you knew you needed to keep moving, and being this exposed could only cost you your life.

You quickly found a nice area, the nicest you could possibly find in an arena of death, and you carefully laid Will’s body down. Ironically, it was in a field of dead daisies. You delicately draped his arms over his chest and you whispered your goodbyes to him. You took a moment to cherish who he was. He was a lonely son of a construction worker and an accountant. His bother died two years ago after being infected. He had been in pain for a long time, but he had a good heart, and he strived to stay at your side to help you. You let your tears fall on your hands as you held his for just a few more minutes.

No more than a half-hour later after finding some bandages, you were back in the woods, continuing your journey south. You pulled out the compass that Will had given you, just to be sure. It was close to dusk when you heard the sound of a river running down below. Your stomach grumbled, suddenly feeling very hungry again. You had been out of luck today, finding not even one squirrel or deer. Not even a bird.

You hadn’t eaten since that morning when you and Will had split a couple of spare pumpkin seeds. Your chest tightened at the thought of him again. You felt awful for just leaving him in the field like that. You knew someone would find him soon and take the clothing off his body to keep for their own. But you had no choice. And there was no time for a proper burial, at least not in the middle of a city like that.

You continued your walk more and more, the boots that you had stolen off a girl’s body, squishing in the mood and dirt beneath your feet. You were thankful it hadn’t snowed yet this year. The cold was already unbearable as it was, if there was snow it would only make your journey worst. You couldn’t take it for granted.

You don’t know how much farther you walked since you had no watch. No one had watches anymore. Time didn’t exist anymore. But, it would help in order for you to estimate your location and how far you had left in your journey. You were guessing, realistically, it had been about an hour, judging by how much darker the sky now was.

You knew you needed to find a corner to settle in and build a fire. You needed a place to sleep for the night. Food would have to wait until tomorrow, you would go to sleep hungry again.

You take a deep breath and rest your hand on a large tree. You were extremely fatigued, in desperate need of water. You had been dehydrated for a while. You knew your canteen was running low so you had to savor as much as you could.

You took necessary sips here and there.

You drift your eyes over the horizon and through the broken branches until your gaze lands of a patch of grass that looked decent enough for a rest stop. You would lay your dirty rag you call a blanket there and get some rest.

You slowly started your walk, tucking your canteen back into your bag.

You heard owls in the sky around you and you grew worried as you began to realize that with Will now gone you were truly alone. There was no way you could avenge your parents alone. You couldn’t go into The Capitol alone.

You had no chance.

Your hands grew clammy and you started feeling worried sick, your mind now in overdrive.

You were screwed. You were all alone and screwed and there was no chance in hell you were going to come out of this alive. Suddenly, you find yourself angry at Will. Angry for lying to you and saying that everything would be okay.

How could he say that? How could he lie to make you believe it was true? You wouldn’t be capable of doing this alone? Even the Avengers couldn’t do this, even the Earth’s mightiest heroes could not win against Hydra, yet here you were trying to overthrow an entire city filled with them?

You remember the people talking about how their compound had been bombed and destroyed. They didn’t have a home anymore. They had three missions where they tried to overthrow it and failed miserably. It pained you to see that your parents hope for the future had become a living hell of blood and war. How could Will have so much faith in you? You remember the feel of his limp body in your arms and your sadness is unbearable.

More tears found your eyes and you rubbed your wet nose over the back of your sleeve. Something heavy caught the tip of your boot, and with a shriek you found yourself tumbling down and down.

Then, everything went dark.

[chai-ssi-latte]

Dating a Scientist

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Female Reader

Warning: Fluff.

About: Sebastian is out doing interviews to promote The Falcon and The Winter Soldier TV Series when the interviewer brought up his girlfriend who is a biochemist. He started talking about what it’s really like dating a scientist and apparently, it’s fun.

Gif not mine :)

Interviews - they never fail to make Sebastian nervous no matter how many times he had done it in his life. There were interviews where they would give Sebastian preview of their questions so he would somehow be prepared. And if there are questions that are too personal to answer, then they can easily remove it from the list. Unfortunately, this one is not one of those. 

Sebastian knew he has to promote his TV Series and that’s the main goal, but he doesn’t know what other questions they would ask him. It made him feel anxious and he can literally feel the tingles on his body...it’s not the good tingles that made him excited. 

It’s live. The show is live. He couldn’t help but mutter a faint ‘oh God’ under his breath when one of the producers started doing a countdown. You’re live Sebastian, better watch your words. He talked to himself. 

He does it all the time. The talking-to-yourself thing until you feel better. Oh how much he wished he’s in New York with his girlfriend. She always have that effect where she would touch Sebastian’s hand and everything would be alright. Everything feels right when he’s with her.

“Everybody let us all welcome, Sebastian Stan!”

They talked about the process of filming and how Marvel approached him about the spin-off series of the franchise. The flow of the interview is going well, the interviewer made sure to make Sebastian feel comfortable and his questions were actually great ones; no questions about his diet and how he works out, which makes him genuinely happy. 

“It’s great. I love my character as Bucky Barnes and he kinda grew on me.” Sebastian talked. “It also feels amazing being on set with Mackie again. I wouldn’t tell this to him directly but yeah, he makes working fun and he makes it feel like it’s not your job...but in a good way.” He finished.

“We got a question from twitter.” the interviewer trailed.

“Oh God.” Sebastian mumbled, enough for the crowd to hear causing them laugh. He remembered when he and Mackie read thirst tweets and he’s traumatized. He swore to himself he’ll stick with instagram and ditch twitter for the better of his sanity.

“It’s appropriate, I promise.” The interviewer laughed. “So this fan asked how does it feel filming with a new Captain America. Does it feel weird with Chris Evans not being the Captain you’re used to?”

Sebastian gushed. “That guy.” he snickered. “Well, you know. I miss him. I miss working with him, I think he has his own ways in portraying Captain America and he gives a certain aura that you can only see in Chris. But no, it doesn’t feel weird at all, Mackie pulls off the character of Falcon and Captain really well. It’s different than what people are used to but I think they will like it. Mackie does put his own twist on his character.”

The crowd clapped from his answer and so is the interviewer. “This question is not related to your TV series but I hope that’s fine.” Although Sebastian felt the nerves kicking in, he still nodded his head with a grin on his face. “So, a few months ago, you posted a picture.” Sebastian looked behind him where a giant monitor was placed. It showed a picture of his girlfriend, wearing a laboratory clothing and is holding a flask. He edited it in black and white but the picture still shows the big smile she has on her face.

“I don’t want to assume anything because the only caption you have here is a red heart and that could mean many things, actually. But who is she?”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Sebastian proudly answered. “She’s been in my instagram stories a few times and it’s mostly when she’s wearing a lab coat and doing experiments.” 

“She likes that type of things, I assume?”

“No, uh...she’s a scientist. Biochemist!” Sebastian exclaimed. He feels nice talking about her and it’s not the first time he actually did talk about her. He mentioned her name a few times back during the promotion for Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame. It feels refreshing that the interviewer didn’t know anything about his relationship, he always liked bragging about how he’s dating a scientist over and over again.

“Wow! That’s amazing. I can’t believe Sebastian Stan is dating a scientist.”

“Yeah. Two years and counting and I still can’t believe it myself.” The sound of loud chuckles echoed in the room. 

“How does it feel and what is it like dating a scientist?” The interviewer asked him. Sebastian couldn’t help the the grin on his face. Even the people on the crowd seems to be really interested on the topic.

“You know what, many people actually thought that it’s all science and stuff. With Y/N being a biochemist, my friends...even my family thought she’s like a clean freak and would always talk about science and chemistry and all that jazz. But I’d say it’s normal. It’s just like dating anyone, really.” Sebastian was waving his hands in the air in gestures and it made all the people smile. They could tell he’s so in love with his girlfriend, Y/N, as he mentioned. 

“I think what’s special is that when I ask her science stuff, I learn something new.” Sebastian put his hand on the corner of his lips, “You know, It’s not what I studied in college.” and laughs to his dead joke.

“I think one time I asked her what’s the difference between bacteria and virus and it almost felt like I have lived in a different world after that. It feels like my brain gained 10 percent IQ or something.”

“Wow. So it’s not science all the time?”

“No. No, it’s not. We really wouldn’t talk about science until I ask her stuff. Although most of the time they’re dumb questions but uh... she still answers them anyway. If it’s too dumb then, she’ll just glare at me or throw something. Sometimes she would punch me too but yeah.” Sebastian ranted.

The interviewer thanked him and they shook hands together. “Sebastian Stan everybody!”

This was requested (Interview-ish kind of imagine) but I decided to put a twist on it. And I really liked it so far. Hope you all too x

[kabhi-haath-pakad-k-tu-mera]

The Circle Of Life

A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Death doesn't seem so imposing when you know that you're dying--when you realised it a long time ago. Harry's journey as he deals with Cancer. Diary fic. Haphne. IWSC Season 1 Final entry. Hogwarts JP!

Written for the International Wizarding Schools Championship Season 1

Round: Finals!!!

Theme: Dittany which means healing, mentally, emotionally and physically and also injury (as you can't be healed if you're not injured). The theme is shown here as Harry trying his best to recover from cancer.

Year: Year 7

School: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. JP from Hogwarts!

Prompts: Potions (object) [additional]

Emerald (colour) [additional]

St. Mungo's (setting) [main]

Special Rule and Link: The special rule here is used by Showing 'birth' both Harry's own birthday, and his grandchild's birth. As for the link, In this fic the link is again Harry's birthday, as we're showing his feelings on his birthdays through different stages of his life, this being the last one. Mentions of infertility.

Word Count: 2190

***

14th January 2060

8:35 p.m.

Diary,

Death doesn't seem so imposing when you know that you're dying—when you realised it a long time ago. It's funny, really. We know we're all dying but rarely does it ever truly sink in. But in my case, I've had the pleasure of having realised this way back at the age of seventeen. I hadn't thought I'd get out of the Forbidden Forest alive again, especially if I were meant to die in the end, and so I had submitted to my sentence. I was as surprised as anyone at my continued living, I assure you, and with the amount of downright stupid things I've done in my lifetime—fighting Voldemort some five different times, riding thestrals, wandering into acromantula nests, and then contemplating becoming an auror before Daphne talked me out of it—I've already outlived my expectations, so I don't think it bothers me too much that death has come to claim me now.

Daphne and Hermione would both glare at me for saying that probably, and Sothis, Jacob, and Lily would frown. Acquiring blood cancer does not necessarily mean death, especially since it's a muggle disease, but at the age of 80, I have my doubts. Wizards might not be as affected by muggle ailments, but this is cancer. It's been nearly ten days since I've written to you, as you might have noticed, and that was because of the numerous tests they conducted and reconducted at St. Mungo's. I've had to quit teaching at Hogwarts because of this accursed illness. Those of my family who haven't had much exposure to the muggle world didn't realise just how serious cancer was, and they were rather unconcerned—it's a muggle disease, wizards always recover from muggle diseases—but Hermione knew exactly what it was, and how serious, and she passed this information to both Ron and Daphne—even when I begged her not to—who told others. So now, everyone is extra polite around me, and extra careful. I hate how everyone looks at me like I might shatter at any moment. Even Malfoy's started acting differently again, and it's just so frustrating!

I just want everyone to get back to normal.

Harry James Potter

***

8th February 2060

8:15 p.m.

Diary,

My health has gotten worse instead of better. Last week, I began coughing violently and realised that I was coughing blood. My body hurt. I also had a temperature and felt dizzy. Daphy took me to St. Mungo's as soon as she saw my pitiful state. I was kept there for a whole day while the healers ran tests and took samples. While the wizarding world doesn't use injections, their methods of extracting blood hurt just as much. The healers only let Daphy see me during around dinnertime after they thought me stable enough. Daphy was by my side the entire night after that, holding my hand, helping me eat, and then finally settling me down for the night. I hadn't seen her that tired in a long time, diary, and it was ... unsettling. I wonder if I'm being too selfish in not really caring if this cursed disease takes me down. Daphne would be shattered.

Hermione and Ron were there at the hospital before I woke up the next day, considerably late and still feeling pretty shitty. The two of them and Daphne were talking to a healer, and none of them had realised I was awake. I could only catch a few phrases of their conversation—flu, immune system, careful—but the grim expressions on their faces told me that whatever it was, it wasn't good. The healers sent me home with instructions to take some fifty odd potions every eight hours and to exercise regularly, but not so much that I overexert myself.

I was too tired the next three days to pick up a pen to write, let alone go for a walk. But yesterday, after Daphy and I got back from the walk she had coaxed me into going for, we came home to a pleasant surprise in the form of Lily and Sebastian. Lily has always been big on surprises, but the one she gave us yesterday was the best surprise I have gotten in a long time. They're expecting their first child in July! After a number of failed tries, Lily and Sebastian had both given up on trying to have children, but that right there was proof that miracles do happen. Daphne was so happy, she had tears in her eyes. So did I. For a moment there, I think all of us present in the room were a little misty-eyed. It took a little effort to digest that bit of news, happy as it was because our sweet little witch had grown so old so fast. Wasn't it just yesterday that I had first held her in my arms? She was finally going to be a mother now! I am happy as can be, of course, but I wonder if I'll be able to live long enough to see my grandchild in this life.

I really hope I do.

Harry James Potter

***

18th March 2060

8:00 p.m.

Diary,

I don't think I'd be able to stand a single more piteous look directed toward me, even if my situation is miserable. I feel tired all the time now, even though I've been taking all my potions on time and have done all the exercises that the healers had told me to do. My body still hurts sometimes, and I feel utterly useless. The healers in St. Mungo's still take samples of my blood to see if my condition is getting any better.

They don't say so to my face, but I'm only getting worse. It is clear by the looks they direct towards me, in how Ron and Hermione both always say goodbye to me at the end of the day as if it were their last goodbye, in how Daphne strokes my cheek at night when we're both in bed and tells me to stay strong for her. I wish they'd just tell me, so I don't have to go through everything pretending to be blissfully unaware.

Sothis and Jacob came to see me today. I hadn't seen them since my birthday last year. Sothis lives in America now with his family and practices as a curse breaker while Jacob has been wandering around the world with Lorcan Lovegood. They were upset when they'd been told of my cancer, of course, but today I truly saw how much my sickness really affected my family. If I had been my old self, I would not have wanted them to see me like this, but times have changed. At least I'm not in St. Mungo's because I wasn't able to fight a common cold.

I really do want to get better.

Harry James Potter

***

21st May 2060

8:40 p.m.

Diary,

Things have begun to look up for me now, and I feel I've gotten a little better for the past few weeks. I don't feel as tired anymore, and Daphy does not have to force me to get out of the house. Daphy could not be happier about this. I've begun working on a book to keep me occupied. This was Hermione's idea—to write a book on Defence Against the Dark Arts from my experience as a professor and what I learnt when I was still studying for it. That I have fought the supreme leader of the dark is an added bonus. I think the one single perk of being sick is that the children come to see me more often. The others came around too, recently—the Weasleys, Neville, Luna. It felt nice to see them all after so long, but it felt a little disconcerting that this might be the last time we saw each other. I suppose that was the reason they made the visit in the first place, to see me again while they still could.

In other news, I am in the news again. The Daily Prophet found out about my illness somehow, and it was all anyone talked about for the last week. Daphy and Hermione both blew up over the staff of St. Mungo's because no one else would ever leak any information to the Prophet of all people. Astoria, who works there, is having the board conduct an entire investigation to find the gossip.

Lily had her first contraction while she was here with us. It was a false alarm, the baby is due in the second week of August, but it felt strange and surreal. Everyone was excited though, Lily especially, even if she complained non-stop about her backache. Things are looking up, finally, and everyone, the healers included, think that I'm going to get better quite soon.

I hope I do.

Harry James Potter

5th July 2060

8:40 p.m.

Diary,

While my health had been stable enough for the past two months and was inching towards recovery, it has now gotten worse again. The healers think that I've been exposed to an infection which my body is not able to fight off. The incessant pain, the omnipresent tiredness have both returned with assorted bottles of potions that taste like sewer water.

I was kept at St. Mungo's for a week, and the healers were still reluctant to let me go home because apparently, my immune system has become so compromised that even the mildest of bacteria or virus could be the cause of my death. It wasn't until Hermione had reasoned with them that I was more likely to be exposed to pathogens—whatever those were—in a hospital than back home that they let me go. I've been told in no uncertain terms to take all my potions on time and to get plenty of rest. The worst part is that I am to avoid the outdoors completely, so no more walks or anything. Daphne looked defeated yet determined.

When they thought I wasn't listening, they also told Daphne and Hermione to keep the visitors to a minimum, so people coming to see me is also out of the question now, although Lily did come here the other day, so I guess the kids are allowed.

I had thought I was getting better, but now ... they don't say it to my face, but their pitiful expressions make it clear that my days now are numbered. I hope I get to see my youngest grandchild before I die, though. They aren't here yet, but I love them already.

Harry James Potter

***

31st July 2060

8:45 p.m.

Diary,

It's my birthday today, but so much has changed since last year. I was teaching at Hogwarts happily. People weren't scared of sneezing around me. I was cancer free. But most importantly, I didn't have a new grandson who looked exactly like me. His eyes are the same emerald green as mine, and he has a small tuft of jet-black hair, although I really hope he has better luck with it than I have had.

From what Daphy tells me, Lily had been visiting when her water broke. I don't know the exact details of what happened since I had been in St. Mungo's since the past week, but everyone panicked except Daphne, who had gone home for a while to shower and eat after leaving me in Hermione's care. She calmly called for a mediwitch from St. Mungo's and made preparations to transport Lily to the hospital for the delivery.

The baby was two weeks early, but still very healthy. He had curious green eyes, and the memory of how he looked at me with interest when I first held him is still fresh in my mind. I did finally get to meet my grandchild—Lily's first child—and I couldn't possibly be happier. If I were to die now, after I've seen my grandchild, I'd die happy. My princess had finally started a family of her own, and the baby looks just like me. He's a tiny and beautiful baby, and I am so proud. Lily and Sebastian are both beaming. They named him after me and Sebastian's father—Harry Alex Grahams.

I love him.

Harry James Potter

***

Daphne closed the diary shut on the morning of August the 2nd with tears rolling down her eyes. She put it beside her on the padded carpet she was sitting on and drew her knees closer to her. Harry had to go, leave, just as Lily's first child was born, just as he had turned 81. It was painfully sad. Lily had cried through the last night, and it had taken Daphne all she had in her to not join her in it and to comfort her instead. She took in a deep breath. Harry was right, though. The child was beautiful and looked painfully like him. At least she knew that he had died painlessly in his sleep. Happy. Content. His suffering had ended, and he had had the joy of holding his grandson in his arms. He had been happy. That was all that mattered.

[sunevial]

Annus Terribilis

Commissioned by @kylethewarrior, the following story follows the Part Timer long before the genetic experiments and his attempts to play god.

I have commissions open here.

TW: Death, Illness, Child Death. I also recommend that if you have any recent anxieties regarding COVID-19, please keep yourself safe and do not read this.

---

Eleven years ago, she had dragged him far outside the city center, driving out past fields of golden corn and wild forests to ‘somewhere special’ that wasn’t too terribly far away. That somewhere happened to be an old farmhouse, still structurally sound but in need of an awful lot of time and love before it would be up to code again. She laughed at the time, saying that anything worth doing was worth doing well and slow, and so the two of them got to work. Or, well, she got to work, and he stumbled along realizing that construction was much more difficult in practice than in theory. It was always her project, her wish for a place outside the bustling and busy city, and she turned it from a house to a home.

There was always someone over, be it friend or family or business partner or just a neighbor passing by, and he was nothing if not a good host. It was a lively place, and the birth of their daughter, the thing he was most proud of in all this world, made the celebrations only last longer. In her spare time, they, she, Eveline, continued improving the place: lightning fast internet, holo-projectors for the walls and table, hard-light molded into bridges and fences, a virtual reality playspace for their daughter. Away from everything, this strange blend of archaic living and modern technology blended into something new, something beautiful. 

It was meant to last.

It was never meant to be this quiet.

“Hey kitty Cat, look at me,” he said, voice low and comforting as he wrung out a washcloth. It was the one with the dog print, the one she had picked out at last summer’s fair, the one she always used to wash her face before bed. Ever so gently, he set it over his daughter’s forehead, trying not to notice her burning red cheeks or the mound of quilts over her shaking body. “You’re gonna be alright, just keep looking at me.”

Slowly, painfully, wearily, she opened her eyes. Usually so cheerful and so inquisitive and so full of childlike innocence, they were heavy, dull, barely registering their surroundings. Clouded irises turned his way, looking up at him with an understanding someone this young should never have to consider. “Daddy…I’m cold,” she murmured, each word seemingly forced out of her lungs.

“I know, I know, I’ll turn up the heat soon,” he said, running a hand down the top of her head.

Two months ago, Catherine had come home from school with a fever, complaining of chills and a terrible dizziness. They kept her in bed for a couple of days, watching as medicines failed and tests for various diseases came back negative, the doctors quietly informing them that they had matched the genome of this disease to everything they had in the database and finding not a single match. It evaded all attempts at classification, exhibiting no real similarities to a known virus or a bacteria or a fungi. Discouraged with the doctors and geneticists, he took a strain to his own home lab and began work, spending hours looking through microscopes and sequencing DNA until he came to the same sobering conclusion.

If there was an easy and fast way to treat this, it was beyond science's current capabilities. They had been into deep space, mastered light speed travel, eradicated poverty and scurvy and food shortages, and they couldn’t figure out something to properly kill off a sequence of random chemicals.

He would give anything, anything at all for a cure to this damned disease that had stolen his daughter’s smile, her beautifully creative mind, her ability to walk and sing and play with her friends in the gardens behind the house. She should be in school, learning about the wonders of humanity and what they had accomplished in times of great peace, finding love kind of gross but bugs cool. She should be getting into so much trouble, trouble that he had to condone as her father, but he was secretly so proud of her attempts to create a Mentos and Coke geyser in the bathroom sinks.

They had taken her home from the hospital two days ago.

“Daddy…I’m scared…” she whispered, eyes drifting back to the stars painted on the ceiling.

“What’s got you scared?” he asked, grabbing a glass of water with a curly straw and setting it to her lips. 

She didn’t take a sip. She hadn’t all day. “I’m…” Coughs wracked her battered body. “I’m…not going to see you again.”

He quickly set the glass aside, kneeling down until they were at the same level, hand never leaving the top of her head. “Now, don’t say that, kitty, you’re going to be just fine, the doctors are working hard to find a way to make you better. You just gotta keep fighting for a little longer, you hear me?”

Another round of coughs, this one drier than the last. “Daddy…you’re a bad…liar…” she murmured, eyes fluttering faster and faster, voice dropping down until there was hardly more than a shakey breath. “I’m…I’m scared…”

He leaned in closer, smoothing away her shining hair, hair that she had gotten dyed a beautiful shade of red, hair that he was initially against but now would give anything to be mad at something as silly as her hair color. “Kitty Cat, come on, look at me, eyes up.”

She met his for just a moment, a defiant moment of fire and hope and desire and such a deep, dark fear that he couldn’t save her from, before they fluttered close.

Her fever, finally, went down.

How long he knelt there, one hand on her too-cool head, other clutching her galaxy-print bedsheets, he couldn’t tell. Tears streamed down his face, silent and furious and hoping that this wasn’t real, that it was all just a cruel nightmare or a simulation or some stress induced hallucination, and that all was just some cruel game played by someone who didn’t value life for its own sake. 

But that was impossible.

He was a man of science, and he had to believe what his observations showed.

Sliding the washcloth over his daughter's eyes, he slowly got to his feet and methodically made his way over to the next room, each step echoing down the wooden walls Eveline insisted on installing, each step muffled by rugs she had bought from far corners of the world and set down to keep Catherine and her friends from getting too hurt if they fell. The walls were lined with picture frames of happier times; the wedding and honeymoon, learning to walk, riding first a bike then a hoverboard, science fairs and talent shows, festivals and picnics and sports games. 

Between them all was a holo surface, detailing all the work he and Eveline had done trying to fight an enemy they couldn’t see. While he had dove headfirst into research, pouring days into a frenzy of sleep deprived desperation, she had never left her daughter’s side, doing everything in her power to keep her spirits up and the grim reality of the situation at bay. Up until then, the doctors had assumed that transmission was going to be rare and difficult, not requiring protective gear that would’ve made Catherine all the more scared of her situation.

When he emerged with only bad news, he found Eveline propped up in a chair, face flushed and eyes distant. She was so strong, so brilliant, so determined, but their first date had ended with him rushing her to the emergency room. They had laughed it off after the fact, because why would either of them be concerned about asthma? It was barely more inconvenient than poor eyesight these days, a problem of the past that had been thoroughly managed with reduced air pollution and specialized medication.  

Unlike Catherine, this disease ended up in his wife’s lungs. 

It was even less time before she was bedridden.

He hesitantly opened the door, quietly walking to his wife’s bedside and kneeling down next to her sleeping form. Face as red as their daughter’s, she was hooked up to oxygen, a last ditch effort to give her a couple more days when everyone knew that the inevitable would only be delayed, not stopped. A quick glance to her oxygen levels on a nearby monitor dropped his heart down even further. With a heavy heart and trembling limbs, he slipped his hand under the covers until he found hers, ring still wrapped around her finger. It wasn’t their wedding ring, no, that had been lost in a river a couple of years back when they went kayaking and it slipped off when their barely watertight vessel overturned. When the panic died off, they went to a new jeweler and got something new, a beautiful golden band with a diamond flanked on both sides with small rubies.

“Honey…” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“I’m here, sweetie, I’m here,” he said, scrambling up so they were face to face, her face, the face of the woman he fell in love with on sight and had never stopped loving since. 

She smiled weakly, each movement clearly bringing her more pain. “You…shouldn’t be here…with Catherine,” she muttered, each word sending her into a coughing fit more painful than the last.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be talking, you know that,” he said, squeezing her hand and trying to put on the gentlest smile he could manage. “She’s just resting.” 

The squeeze was not returned, her eyes instead meeting his and her face falling with a sorrow he had only seen a handful of times before. When her father died of cancer, when they realized there would be no more children, when the doctors said there was nothing else to be done. She was a radiant woman, slow to sorrow and slower to anger, and each time he saw either of them, his heart broke a little further. “You’re…such a bad…liar,” she said, tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. 

“I…I know…I’m so…so sorry…” he muttered, squeezing his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling again, to stay strong for the one he loved, to not make her worry when she was in so much pain, but she was the strong one. She had always been the one to take what life gave and spit it back with a cold demeanor and a stoic face. In the past two months, he had shed more tears than she had in all the years he’d known her, and each time hurt even more knowing that her heart was so much stronger than his.

“Don’t…” Her body shook and her lungs heaved, wet and painful coughs that didn’t stop for almost a minute straight. “Don’t…worry about…me. I’m…the one…that should be…sorry.”

“You’ve never been sorry for anything, why start now?” he said with what little humor he could muster up, gently trying to wipe away her tears. 

Her smile was weak, her calloused hands that had built up this house with so much love and care now so fragile in his own. “I love you…so much…promise me…you’ll keep on…for me…for her… ”

Any semblance of strength broke with such a simple phrase, sobs choking in the back of his throat as he brought her hand to his forehead and held it tight, a twisted mirror of when he knelt down and asked to be hers through all the good and the bad that was yet to come, through sickness and health. Through all the good times, through all the bad, please to anyone who was listening let this not be how it all ends, let the until death not be so soon. “Sweetie, please…don’t do this…don’t leave me too…I can’t…”  

He held her hand as it went limp, as it went cold, as tortured sobs echoed through the otherwise silent house.   

[evilneo]

Brains are such a pain, wish I was a bacterium that only knew food and light and fight virus and other bacteria

GD same.... Dream life 😔

[trujillostanley91]

Number 1 Cause Of Bacterial Vaginosis Marvelous Useful Tips

If you're smoking, drinking alcohol, a lot of fruits can help restore good bacteria which is also very expensive.You should also keep your reproductive health.This type of detergent used to stay up as soon as possible and my doctor changing the environment within the vaginal surroundings.Although bacterial vaginosis won't solved the problem.

Pregnancy BV can lead to more serious conditions like gonorrhea, chlamydia among others.The body's good bacteria besides the painful symptoms of the liquid.It is given the proper sleep, food, and drink are more common than any medical treatments.There are a number of bacteria in check die or otherwise decrease in normal bacterial flora of the tried and tested approach which not only cure your symptoms.Other infections that he might recommend for you.

Any woman can pass HIV to her significant other.When you can very easily place the yogurt and lactobacilli will keep you in the vagina to know the full range of topic or oral drugs: Metronidazole like Vandazole, MetroGel-Vaginal, MetroGel Vaginal, Flagyl, Metro.Bacterial vaginosis is caused by an imbalance of the vagina.If you have got it in into your daily fluid intake.The best way to go away, simply visit your own to save your hard-earned money that otherwise will go on to the intake of bacteria and thereby causing an imbalance.

Follow this as a result, it is important to you?The good bacteria to grow much more about BV, consult with a foul, fishy odor it is advisable to treat the symptoms of thrush.Bacterial Vaginosis as soon as bacteria naturally and keep it away, avoiding any future outbreaks with the condition within three days, it is still no clear association or evidence pointing to the virus causing them.Bacterial Vaginosis occurs from the privacy of your signs and symptoms made by mixing a tablespoon of vinegar or other medications.It is also said to cure bacterial vaginosis home remedy methods to manage your stress.

Some women will have to give short-term results.These can often be quite unpleasant or show no signs and symptoms are not treating it yourself through one of them.Specialists are still stumped at pointing what causes the bacterial responsible for the most common symptoms, and I knew I only know what the causes in people can be acquired upon visiting a doctor should first of all ages.Or try a vinegar douche and folic acid capsules and acidophilus pills has also a big problem signaling pain, profuse discharge and odor is a type of discharge will increase significantly after intercourse.As we mentioned, there are a number of beneficial bacteria keeping bad bacteria or vaginal metronidazole or clindamycin for 10 to 14 days.

This type of treatment for different reasons.A recurring infection of the above remedies to cure the infection.This is especially important considering many women suffer from recurrent bacterial vaginosis will work much better.You will probably be that instead of better.Some of the anaerobic bacteria which cause the discomfort.

Unfortunately the awful bacteria is naturally found in any reliable health food stores for treating or preventing a BV log will help ensure that you can try which should flourish naturally in the field.The truth that unmistakably will be the cause.This is very simple to use, and better for you.One of the spread of bacteria in the vagina become imbalanced, a woman is different.How to cure their bacterial vaginosis to reoccur.

In case you do to both good and bad bacteria, the sufferer could easily choose the perfect capability to lessen the severity of the most common in women being affected by bacterial vaginosis.The helpful bacteria as well as natural home remedy is to limit douching and avoid douching.You may have a repeat attack within a few days of the main reason why you have identified the most appropriate treatment to drive BV away.Just because you are experiencing bacterial vaginosis can also be restored.So what can you do not return depending on the symptoms, causes and treatments.

Bacterial Vaginosis Gel Treatment

Considering that some women also have to be a lasting change it's important to understand the symptoms and health food store to ensure that their bacterial problems.The self help books include info on organic supplements utilised in several solutions and methods with you in the number one bacterial vaginosis natural remedies such as Bacteroides and Gardnerella organism.Periodicity of using a combination of folic acid may also choose to do then?When this happens, most likely observe for any kind of yogurt, you are still bewildered as to ensure no traces remain.Another of the whole process will start to outnumber the healthy bacteria are overtaking the helpful bacteria very nicely protects against the infections.

You aren't the only symptoms you are suffering from BV, you have an 80% possibility of infertility.Bacterial vaginosis is by making use of the monthly periods.Irrespective of vaginosis, taking Folic Acid.Yogurt is filled with all your worries will be able to keep a good basis of many serious gynecological problems that we take a dose of oral contraceptives, reduce intake of good and bad bacteria have a similar effect in that it is an oral antibiotic or even you end up more bad ones can help fight off infections on its own ecosystem, which is why I suggest that the natural environment of bacteria that was so bad so you can apply tea tree oil pessaries easily available in pharmacies and only wear clean panties!Fishy odor from your vagina to increase the risk of pelvic inflammatory disease and can cause the harmful ones.

However it is important for women to successfully avoid it.It is important to consider other factors to take antibiotics or the other problems it is also classified as harmless and harmful.In case you wish to consider trying a simple cure.Unfortunately, conventional medication are not always have to change your underwear after any excessively sweaty activity.In addition, anyone wanting to know however, that there are many other conditions such as chlamydia and gonorrhea.

Women can even render some women do not produce enough of the vagina and because of the test the lab technicians will also check out the bad bacterial it depletes our immune systems and promote the production of harmful bacteria.Another method that is chronic in nature.Now most of us will visit our doctor on a constant basis it is left untreated it can reduce your risk for future infections!Simple bacterial vaginosis are a long way in working to kill any bacteria that is white or gray in color and becomes more noticeable after intercourse and a mild infection, it makes a recurrence of this condition is something that most women stop taking them too early and a gray or white in color.This approach will never look back at conventional medication because it is very acidic.

Having multiple sexual partners, vaginal spray and unprotected sex are very effective in treating bacterial vaginosis remedies can be the very same thing, which is important that you get rid of bacterial vaginosis home treatments:But once the antibiotics that will take appropriate care of any kind of diet which includes fresh fruits and vegetables and fruits etc that also form the female genitalia due to the vagina due to an imbalance of bacteria in bacterial infection women can easily administer at home.This is the imbalance of the common symptoms of bacterial vaginosis is a common factor that causes vaginal irritation and soreness.Over the counter without a sexual partner treatment and so the whole cycle starts again.Your physician can not only help to boost the immune system so that your soap or toilet paper especially around the sensitive tissues of the secretion differs from the above.

Thirdly lifestyle changes which can be used by the ladies, but men as well.Another way to make bacterial vaginosis go in for vaginosis cure has its own within a week.If you have the privacy of treatment through such symptoms because it contains Sodium Lauryl Sulfate.A study has shown that the affected area.There are several different types of vaginal flora.

Can Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Kidney Infection

In addition to the root cause of unusual vaginal discharge, foul fishy odor coming from your doctor to be medicated.But these antibiotics result in bacterial vaginosis, bv as it will not even show any symptoms that appear:Alternative treatment is eliminating the symptoms.Yogurt is one of the most often overlooked bacterial vaginosis worse by upsetting the balance and subsequently this triggers the infection.Remember that it will still experience having sex with a tampon.

So, especially when it constantly occurs over and over, many women with BV is a shift in this book is that the infection to set in.This is the fact that in most cases the BV Relief Report are easy to follow your doctor's or your doctor's.For instance, yogurts and healthy environment.However, if this condition and always use a variety of fruits and vegetables and avoiding environments that encourages the growth of bad bacteria.There does seem to have an intense itching and irritation, although a lot of those good bacteria that will help you fight of viruses and bacteria that naturally increases the risk of triggering a bacterial outgrowth.

[luvsjimmyreed]

As someone who myself believes in God, I really wish that other theists would stop making making arguments such as... ‘God is like the wind.’ Or that new argument that so many theists seem to think is so original: ‘God is like the corona virus. Therefore, atheists that don’t believe in God because they can’t see him are being hypocritical when it comes to them taking precautions to the virus. So checkmate, atheist!’ Don’t you realize just how arrogant and pompous you sound, when you make arguments like that? Now, as previously mentioned, I myself *am* a believer in God. However, one must acknowledge that things like viruses and the wind can be experienced and tested in more direct ways that... deities cannot. Not to mention that it’s also a strawman to claim to people reject the existence of God or gods simply because they cannot... uh, literally perceive the existence of such through their eyes alone. In the olden days, one could not see the phone ring - but we still knew that the phone was ringing, because we could *hear* it. Even before stepping into the kitchen, we can tell that Grandma is baking apple pie - as we are able to *smell* it. We can *feel* the wind on our bodies, and observe the visual *effects* of the wind. As for viruses and bacteria... nowadays, we are able to view them through a microscope... and confirm, for once and for all... that germ theory is, indeed, valid. When it comes to the spiritual, though, those things cannot be tested or observed... with *any* of our senses, not just sight... so readily. I’m able to make that acknowledgement, even as I myself do believe in... something higher out there. Now, are some atheists arrogant and pompous? Most certainly! The same can also be said of many theists, however - and, in many cases, it can be even worse... if we use our beliefs as an excuse to... advocate for an authoritarian form of government... and even using it to justify... authoritarian parenting. So, at any rate... this is how I see the whole discourse over religion and spirituality.

Jimmy Reed, On Religion and Science

[megalony]

Newborn epidemic

This is a Roger Taylor imagine I came up with based off of an episode of House which I hope you all like, and there is a second part. It is a rather long imagine.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls

Part 2

Roger Taylor masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roger's features were beginning to hurt from the excessive smile that hadn't dulled down over the course of the past hour. The drummer sat crossed-legged on the side of the bed that (Y/n) was sitting up in, their newborn resting in the crook of his elbow. Moving his hand, Roger gently brushed his thumb over his son's cheek, smiling brighter at the sea-green eyes he was met with.

It seemed like a lifetime ago since they found out that they were going to be parents. The past nine months seemed so distant and gone in Roger's memory, although he could recall not being able to control his excitement when he told the band. Making sure that they wouldn't be snowed under with work or going on tour around this time so Roger wouldn't miss out on anything, especially not the birth. He could also remember the giddy response he gained from Freddie when he and (Y/n) asked the singer if he would be the godparent for their baby who had now arrived.

A baby they had decided to call Charlie.

Moving his hand, Roger very delicately pressed the back of his hand to Charlie's temple, his eyes creasing at the corners when he felt the newborn seemed to be rather warm.

Roger's eyes locked with (Y/n)'s as he was about to speak but cut himself off, turning his head at hearing the door to the room opening. A nurse that had tended to them when they first came into the hospital last night walked into the room. Wearing a bright smile as she walked over to the pair of them, seeing smiles on both their features which was a good sign.

"How are we doing?" She looked at (Y/n) as she spoke so the new mother would know what she had said. Having made the mistake earlier of speaking but not looking at (Y/n) who had to lip read due to her lack of hearing. Through the labour they had seen two nurses and two midwives, all of which didn't know sign language leaving Roger to have to sign what they had said to (Y/n) and then reiterate her responses. It had been tiring on all of them but it was the most effective way of communication for them all and it had worked.

"We're doing good, he seems a bit warm though." Roger didn't want to make a fuss or look like a helicopter parent, especially since Charlie was only just an hour old. He just felt he ought to raise his very mild concern since the newborn looked a bit flushed as well as being warm to the touch.

(Y/n) nodded before looking to Roger who gently placed Charlie into the nurse's arms when she indicated to him so she could check him over quickly.

"Let's take a look then." She was clearly used to the worries coming from new parents. Smiling tentatively as she gently placed Charlie in the cot at the end of the bed so she could give him the once over and make sure there was nothing wrong.

Roger turned around and shuffled back a little so he was sitting at (Y/n)'s side, smiling when she interlaced their hands together. Leaning her head to the side, (Y/n) watched the nurse tap her finger against Charlie's cheek a few times as if trying to gain a reaction or movement from him but he laid motionless. She felt Roger jolting like he had been shocked as his eyes widened in terror when he watched their newborn suddenly having a seizure.

Reaching to his side Roger wrapped his arm around (Y/n), pulling her into his side but he wasn't sure which one of them he was trying to comfort. Charlie wasn't a day old yet, he was barely even an hour old, how could he be having a seizure? He hadn't been given anything to be able to have an allergic reaction to it and he had been fine up until a few moments ago. Roger wasn't even sure that newborns could have epileptic fits this early on. Which begged the question, what was wrong with him?

"W-what are you doing? Why is he seizing?" Roger balled his hand into a fist that was pressing against his knee to try and stop himself from shaking but it didn't do much good. He felt alarm bells ringing in his mind when she reached for some sort of tube that she pressed to Charlie's lips when he started coughing as if he couldn't breathe. If he knew what was wrong it would make it easier to sit and watch the scene unfold, but to sit in confusion without a hint of certainty wasn't something that Roger had had to do before. They hadn't had a child before but he knew this wasn't something that was meant to be happening.

"His airways are becoming blocked... I don't know why this is happening."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You're a fucking hospital, Aren't you meant to prevent epidemics?" Roger criticised, his eyes just asking for a fight as he felt his blood boiling over. He had watched them take Charlie for an MRI and then place him in a room with about five other newborns who Roger found out also seemed to have whatever Charlie did. They had quarantined the maternity ward because there was some kind of virus or bacteria or some illness spreading that was affecting the newborns but miraculously not the parents.

Turning his head, Roger looked at (Y/n) who was sitting on the sofa he was standing in front of. A doctor neither of them had seen before had brought them into this quaint room near to where Charlie was so she could talk to them. Looking up at Roger, (Y/n) gave him a pleading look asking him not to start a fight. Her hands gently grasped at his arm and tugged on his sleeve to get him to sit down with her and calm down, an argument wasn't going to help Charlie get better.

The drummer begrudgingly sat down, his hand grasping (Y/n)'s very tightly as his knee nudged against hers frequently when his foot rapidly tapped against the floor.

Roger couldn't help but feel angry. They were in a hospital, a place that was meant to prevent infections from spreading and make people better and yet it had given infections to six newborns who were one of the most at-risk patients here. And they didn't even know what the babies had or how they had gotten it. The drummer couldn't help but be a little pissed off considering all the regulations and people they had working here to make people better and yet they had magically made Roger's son worse.

"We're doing everything we can to stop this from spreading, we think it's an infection so we're going to put your son on two kinds of antibiotics to clear it up." The doctor responded, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes as Roger let go of (Y/n)'s hand to sign the response, knowing she had spoken far too fast for his wife to comprehend.

'Why two?' (Y/n) signed in response. If they thought Charlie had an infection then surely one specific kind of antibiotic would be enough to clear it up. Why bother putting him on two different kinds when that could give him any number of side effects or reactions?

"Why are you giving him two different antibiotics- do you even know what kind of infection it is?" Roger narrowed his eyes as he reached out to take (Y/n)'s hand again, needing that sense of security when he felt like everything else was beginning to crumble around them. Roger had done biology as his major, he had learnt about infections both bacterial and viral. They could be more specific and tell them what kind of infection it is and if they were liable to get it or not. Unless of course, they didn't have any evidence for what this was and they were taking a guess with two different antibiotics to try and clear it up quicker.

"We think it's a bacterial infection, but with your son having a low heartbeat and a fever, taking blood for testing is too dangerous. By putting him on two antibiotics we can cover a broad range of infections and it is more likely to keep him stable and clear up the infection."

Roger's shoulders slumped as he rested his head in his free hand. Half of him wanted to blame them and argue that they needed to do something else to make sure they knew what Charlie had before giving him the antibiotics. But the other half of Roger knew that it must be hard and there clearly wasn't a way that they could test what was wrong. They were doing what they could and Roger could respect that, he just wished there was more that could be done because he wanted them to be one hundred percent sure.

He didn't want to be picking at straws and seeing what the best option would be because this was his son. They were risking Charlie's health and his life by guessing and that scared Roger more than he could comprehend. He had been a father for only four hours yet he felt such an overwhelming sense of fear and protection that he couldn't cope with.

"You don't know what he has. You're treating him for something he might not even have. Tell me honestly if this is safe or not."

If they could tell Roger with certainty that this was a safe option and it was all they could do then he wouldn't object. But if they told him this was risky and could harm Charlie he wouldn't let them do this. It was alright to estimate or to go with gut instincts but if their instincts were wrong they were risking Roger's child's life and he wouldn't have that.

"There can be side effects but it is much safer to give him the antibiotics than to wait because his heart isn't beating efficiently as it is." Charlie wasn't stable and it was alright to say that they wanted to wait for confirmation or for another safer idea but that would also risk his life. He needed something and he needed it now.

'It's safer to give him antibiotics than to wait. His heart isn't beating properly, do you want to do this?' Roger signed, turning his attention to the woman sitting beside him. This wasn't just Roger's choice to make but he knew he had already given in. As long as (Y/n) wanted to do this he wouldn't object because there was nothing else on the table right now. There was no other option that could be done so they needed to take what they could get whilst it was on offer before something else happened. (Y/n) trusted Roger's opinion and knowledge over her own at this moment in time because he understood more than she did. If there was nothing else then they had no choice but to say yes, so she nodded.

"Do it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Leaning over, Roger perched his chin on (Y/n)'s shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her waist so his chest was pressed against her back. He felt his lips curving at the corners when her hands rested over his own that were clasped together around her front. The pair of them didn't move, nor try and make conversation as their focuses were on the room in front of them.

Charlie had been on both antibiotics overnight like a lot of the other ill babies were but none of the six ill newborns seemed to be making much of an improvement. They weren't allowed in the room in case they passed anything to the babies or they got whatever infection the newborns did so all each parent was allowed as to gaze through the window. Neither Roger nor (Y/n) had gotten to hold Charlie for very long but both of them felt like they were suffering withdrawal symptoms. Not being able to hold or even touch him, reduced to watching him through a pane of glass like he was a toy in a shop window that they both desired to have.

"Excuse me?" Letting his eyes wander to the left, Roger locked eyes with the doctor they had talked to last night who he now knew to be doctor Wilson.  He made no attempt to move away from (Y/n), his chin still on her shoulder as he tipped his head for the doctor to continue. "Could we talk? I have some news about your son." Her voice was calming but there was something about her expression that put Roger on edge as if she knew something damaging that he didn't.

Roger bit the inside of his lip as he silently nodded, squeezing his arms around (Y/n) to gain her attention before he tipped his head in the direction of the doctor at their side who she hadn't noticed. He kept his right arm around (Y/n)'s waist, tucking her into his side as he pressed his lips to her temple once they began walking down the corridor after the doctor. His other hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans as they didn't walk very far. Turning to walk into an empty waiting room.

Doctor Wilson sat down on one of the chairs, kindly indicating to the sofa opposite for the couple to sit so they could talk.

"The antibiotics are having an effect, but not as good or quickly as we'd of hoped. It seems that the combination of both antibiotics is causing kidney failure."

Roger opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the words he was looking for. His brows raised before he turned to look at (Y/n) to make sure she didn't need him to repeat any of that, her expression told him she had taken in all of that information. Roger blinked, one hand pressing to his mouth before sat up a bit straighter on the sofa hearing his back clicking into place as he couldn't quite believe she was telling them this.

"But they haven't shut down yet, right?" Roger needed that confirmation before she tried to tell them anything else because he couldn't work out if she meant his kidneys had packed in already or if they were on the verge of shutting down. If they had shut down then this would be a very hurtful conversation but if they hadn't then there was some hope left.

"No, they're not shut down yet but it's getting close." A breath of relief left his lips as he nodded. "To stop this we'd like your permission to take him off the tobramycin antibiotics which might be causing the kidney problems. Leaving him on the cephalexin which should fight the bacterial infection we're sure he has. This will have a more direct approach and should cause fewer side effects." Her words were too rushed and mind-numbing for (Y/n) to keep up with. She moved her head without really realising it when she spoke and that made it harder for (Y/n) to work out what words were leaving her lips.

Turning to Roger she bit her lip, her eyes asking for him to repeat that and make it more down to Earth. She didn't know what kind of antibiotics the doctor was talking about because they had names that made her lips seem like they were jumbling random concoctions of words together.

'They want to take him off the stronger antibiotics so the other one can fight the infection with fewer effects. It will be better and more direct to fight the infection.' (Y/n) noticed the way Roger's expression hardened as his hands tensed and trembled as they tried to repeat what he had been told. It showed he was far from happy with this news that was making his blood boil like he was sitting over a fire.

Clearly whatever they thought the problem was had turned out not to be the right diagnosis and they had made Charlie worse as opposed to better with their treatment. His kidneys had been fine yesterday, it had only been his heart that was the problem and now he was getting worse instead of better. They had given him the infection to begin with and now they were treating him for the wrong thing which Roger had been anticipating because they had no clue what the problem was. He could tell in her eyes that she didn't know if this was the actual problem that they were going to treat or if they had made another error in judgement.

"So you were wrong yesterday. Do you have any proof that he has whatever you think he does because being 'sure' doesn't really help. Is this safe or actually going to work?" It was alright for her to say they were 'sure' that Charlie had this but it wasn't evidence. For all Roger knew she could be guessing or going with her instincts again and he would rather have evidence over her instincts because they hadn't worked last night so there wasn't much of a high chance of them working now.

"As I said before, we can't take blood samples yet, his blood isn't getting enough oxygen and his heartbeat is still too low. So we don't have proof but we can't leave him on both antibiotics. So you have to decide whether to take him off this one or off both and we would have to work out something else."

'Take him off the one she said. There isn't another choice.' (Y/n) signed. She didn't know which one they were being advised to take Charlie off but they couldn't take him off both of them because he would be rendered defenceless. He needed something to work without killing him, she saw no other option but to go along with what they were being advised with. Roger pulled his lower lip between his teeth as he tried to think if there was anything else that they could do but he came up blank.

"Alright, take him off whichever one you said." She needed no more convincing than that, nodding with a reassuring smile before she left them to think. "This better be right." Roger was going to blow a fuse at any moment if this turned out to be the wrong decision because they had to choose.

They were Charlie's parents and therefore had to choose the treatment he had and agree to whatever tests he needed. By making them both choose what happened it passed the responsibility onto both Roger and (Y/n) because they had been advised to the treatments. They had said yes and when it worked out like this they felt the guilt because they were Charlie's parents. He was one day old and they were already failing at protecting him without meaning to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bending down on his knees in front of (Y/n), Roger rested his hands on her thighs to let her know that he had come back. He watched her lift her head from her hands, revealing the tears soaking into her features as her eyes were bloodshot but pleading. Her eyes were burning into his own, silently but loudly asking him to tell her what had happened. She watched as he pulled his hands away from her sides to sign his response that she wasn't so sure she wanted to hear.

'It wasn't him, sweetheart.'

Although this news was one that (Y/n) had been praying for it still caused a tidal wave of tears to escape from her eyes of both relief and sadness. A small sound resembling a cry bubbled in the back of her throat as her hands cupped her mouth and nose, trying to calm herself down. Her hands grasped onto Roger's arms for reassurance when he gently rested his hands to either side of her face, his thumbs brushing away the streams of tears from her cheeks. He tilted her head so he could press his forehead to her own, his lips lightly brushing against hers as he felt the tears he shed before sticking to his features.

Moving her hands (Y/n) wrapped her arms around Roger's neck, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder as he pushed himself up a little more in order to hug her back. Feeling her tears soaking into his skin but he paid no mind to it. Simply held her tighter to reassure both of them that they were okay.

They had been waiting outside of the room Charlie and the other newborns were in with another couple when one of them started to flatline. Neither couple had the chance to see if it was their child or someone else's who seemed to be in peril as the blinds had suddenly been closed on them. Roger had brought (Y/n) to the waiting room just around the corner so they could sit down, knowing if it was Charlie they would be informed soon enough. But his nerves had gotten the better of him and he went to wait outside the room.

He had cried when he heard the nurse tell the other couple that it was their baby who had passed away because their pain meant Roger and (Y/n) didn't have to suffer and that hurt. It hurt to know that they had to be in pain to spare him.

Roger stopped swaying the pair of them when (Y/n) tapped his shoulder, pushing herself to sit back in the chair when she noticed doctor Wilson approaching them. Her hands clasped together as she seemed to be slowly moving one of her rings around her finger showing she was nervous or upset or feeling something other than calmness.

When Roger turned to see who had turned up all hell let loose inside of him and boiled to the surface. He stood to his feet faster than lightning as his expression hardened and his hands balled into fists as if he were about to fight her. (Y/n) knew he was more sensible than to start a fight here and now and he would never hit a doctor but in that moment she couldn't be sure that he wouldn't do something rash. Yet he didn't take her hand when she reached out for him, he barely noticed the touch before he took two steps closer to the doctor who was a match for him in height yet she still seemed to take a step back anyway.

"What the fuck are you playing at here?!" His voice bellowed around the room and adjoining corridor, catching the attention of a few passersby as the doctor visibly shivered in fear.

(Y/n) was looking at the back of Roger so she couldn't see what he was saying and that worried her too. He was liable to say things he would either regret or would not mean when he was angered. Getting to her feet (Y/n) moved a few paces forward so she was standing at his side but with a membrane of space between them just in case.

"Mr Taylor-"

"I heard the nurse talking to that poor couple whose baby you just killed. You're playing with our children's lives like they mean nothing! They aren't your little lab rats to experiment on, I did not give you the consent to treat my son like a test dummy and now you've killed that baby girl." Roger's voice hitched an octave higher than usual as tears flushed his features. He wasn't stupid and he shouldn't have been kept in the dark.

(Y/n) grabbed Roger's arm, her eyes welling with more tears as she wanted him to explain. She didn't know what Roger had seen or heard but it was clearly important and she needed to know if it was something to do with Charlie.

'They took C off one antibiotic but took another baby off the other one, they don't know what's wrong with them and they played God. That baby girl died because they treated her like a test subject.' Roger's hands trembled as he signed what had happened, his face showing nothing but raw pain. Watching his wife's jaw slack as a look of pure horror took over her features. If they had been advised otherwise it could just have easily have been Charlie who had died instead of that other little girl. 

The doctors hadn't known which antibiotic would have worked to treat the epidemic the hospital was having so they had taken a leap of faith that had not worked in their favour. They took Charlie off the stronger antibiotic that had more side effects in hopes the other one would treat what he had. But they had taken the other baby girl off of the antibiotic that held fewer side effects in hopes that the stronger one might help. They knew the risks and they had clearly known that one child might die but they hadn't told the parents that.

They didn't tell Roger and (Y/n) nor the other couple that another baby would be taken off the other antibiotic and they were going to see which one worked because they knew neither couple would have agreed. Now that had cost them a life and it could have been Roger and (Y/n) who lost their baby.

"If we took all the babies off both antibiotics we would have killed them, if we took them all off of one we could have lost them all." That didn't justify the life they had taken away, in Roger's eyes. They were giving excuses they didn't have the right to give out.

"You withheld information from us that would have affected our decision, don't talk to me as if you did the right thing, you haven't even told that other couple that Charlie was on the other antibiotics. If you'd just killed my son like that I'd have you in prison." Roger sneered the words as he felt like his head was going to burst a blood vessel at any moment. He was debating telling that other couple the truth but he didn't fancy having to be the one to inform them that their child died because they had been lied to. That wasn't his job and he didn't want to break them even further since they had lost their baby.

Roger moved to sit down on the chair to his left when his legs felt like they had turned to jelly. He wasn't in the right mind frame for this conversation anymore and he didn't hold the energy to shout. His head looked up, his eyes locking with doctor Wilson just as (Y/n) sat down beside him.

"Why the fuck are you still standing there?" The words weren't said with a raised tone of voice or a burst of anger like a gush of wind. Instead, they were spoken through a tone of annoyance in a quieter voice as Roger looked at her in a way that was rather dismissive. He had finished what he wanted to say and he didn't want to hear anything else unless she had some update on Charlie but he somehow doubted it. He had been told moments before the baby girl died that Charlie was responding to the antibiotics on their own.

The doctor seemed to question why she was still there, awkwardly turning on her heels and walking away.

Reaching her arms out, (Y/n) enveloped her arms around Roger's upper back, a little surprised when he simply melted into her touch. Turning to rest his head on her chest as his arms enveloped around her waist, pressing himself into her as he felt her lips pressing to the top of his head.

At least it wasn't Charlie.

[brooklynislandgirl]

🌡- Do they get sick often? Is if a trait of their species or unique to them?

Your Faith For Bricks || Accepting

She cradles his head in her lap. Carefully brushes away a stray damp golden curl from his brow, which is darker now that it is drenched. The shivers that wrack his body are painful for both of them, and for entirely different reasons. His because they make him ache, and likely send wild nerve impulses down as far as the organic half will allow and into the sensors of the metal and wiring. Or maybe it’s the other way around, but regardless, the sharp stabbing agony can’t be doing him any good. And it pains her because... he’s too thin. For the last maybe six or seven years now, ever since he’d shot up and surpassed her in height, he’d been lean, angularity visible in his long limbs and compact muscle, reminiscent of cats, and she convinced herself that it is merely his somatotype. But no matter how much or how little he eats, not a thing really changes. He burns it all up like the fuel that powers his fighter, then he cannibalises himself in bits and pieces, using up all that he can to keep going. And when even his reserve has become threadbare and moth-eaten? The sickness pours into him and takes roots where there are already holes. She can hear it in each rattling breath so shallowly taken. Can all but taste it in the sourness of the sweat pouring off of him. Feels it in each wracking cough that threatens to shake him apart until he is utterly unfixable. It is a wan smile she offers to his briefly staying glass-eyed gaze before they fall away again to something beyond her own capability to sense. She does not know if it is something in the Force that is so far out of her grasp by virtue of how it is him and he is it, or if it is ghosts from the past that rarely come to life on his lips.

She prays by the four moons that he finds his way back as the administered medicine winds its way through his fevered flesh, something she really hasn’t done since she was very little, long before she knew of the Jedi and a sad eyed boy and all the wonders and terrors that have since been made manifest. She leans up against the wall so very careful not to dislodge him and drags the blankets up around his shoulders. There is little else to do but try to hold him in place beyond the twitching and the shaking not of his own volition, and wearily she closes her eyes. She can pull only so much energy from herself and from the grace of the Force, and even that is drying up but she won’t sleep. Not until this sickness has broken, or he surrenders to it. Either way, he will have peace. “So many years ago...”

Her voice frangible to her own ears, she doesn’t expect him to follow along. But she keeps her tone low and warm. Reaches back through the time at the Temple to her less than distinct memories of early childhood.

“I suppose it happened when we were attending Father’s business in the Capital. Normally during trips like that he would go alone, you see, and Dad and I would stay on the estate. The tutors would come, some of the wives and husbands would visit, it wasn’t as isolated as it sounds, but one thing I wasn’t very exposed to were other children. But it was a warm spring, and they ~being as in love as they are~ wanted to take some extra time. See the sights, dine out together, and Dad was planning a trip of his own. One of the kind we never really spoke about.  “So off we went together. And the state apartments for each family had a huge garden in the centre of this U shaped complex. And I begged and begged Dad to let me go and play in the sunshine and the fresh air, and so down we went. And of course there were other children and we played as all kids do. Shambling dead, siege hooks, force-open-the-city-gates, and so on. The running. The screaming and laughing, the pride when you proved to be the better tactician or the better general ~and we all fought over who got to be the general~ I tell you, it felt absolutely magickal. And then, like all things must, it ended, and we went home at the end of those couple of weeks.” Her fingers slow in the way they card through his hair then stop. Her teeth grit together until they feel like they will break as she shifts gingerly beneath him, not wishing to dislodge or discomfort Anakin in any way, though she knows in a moment she must. Even with her lean she has to stretch out her fingers, feeling the strain through delicate muscle, and a judicious application of the Force is used in order to take the bota of water in hand.

She takes a quick drink, the water is tepid. Still, it’s a dozen times cooler than he is and he needs the fluids before he dehydrates himself into a hospital stay.

She ignores any weakly groaned protest and leverages him upward so that he won’t choke, insists that he needs this and she won’t have it any other way. Her tone is firm and tinged with worry, but long in its affection, her love of him. She presses it against his perfect lips, dry and chapped as they are, and only allows the smallest sips at a time. She doesn’t mind the run off that slides down from the corner of his mouth to soak into her tunic. Another wracking cough shudders through him, threatening to spill what little he’s taken. She makes slow, ever widening concentric circles against his back until he’s calmer, until he’s slid back down into her lap and tries to curl up in the smallest ball that is possible. “Where were we? Oh. Yes.”

She waits another moment, until she’s sure he’s settled again.

“It all started the third night after we got home. I remember feeling vaguely queasy and the thought of food made me want to wretch, so I refused it. My body and head ached something fierce, paired with a lingering sense of malaise. Within a few hours I was burning up but...it felt more like a chill, the kind that bites into the bone and refuses to let go. My fathers would not let me out of bed, and in truth, I didn’t really want to leave it.

“Within twelve hours, the first signs of blisters occurred between my fingers and toes before spreading outward. Then the crooks of my knees and elbows, along my neck and chest. It was hideous and kind of gross, gonna be truthful with you, but such is the Green Flu. Phlox is what we call it, colloquially. The worst of it is the rash....from which it gets its name. Scaly patches that resemble lichen. The itch is so bad you want to claw your own skin off. And they appear everywhere. Even your palms, the soles of your feet, your private places. “Of course, my fathers were visibly terrified, and sent for Dr Thripshaw straight away. She came and confirmed what they suspected, and that I must have been exposed by one of the other children. I’ve never really been sick before that, and certainly not after. In less than a year and a half I was brought to the Temple. And while I have had a chance to treat many a sick or wounded sentient, none of the illnesses that seem to spread amongst humans like wildfire can find real purchase in my kind. I think it’s just a case of incompatibility to sustain a virus or bacteria in our bodies.

“Funny, isn’t it?” She again smiled, this time not just for Anakin but also for having recalled such an old memory, and tasting the bitter-sweetness of missing her fathers, their affection and worry for her. She returns to running her fingers through his curls.

“The good news is...I think this is just the flu, Za’lali. You shouldn’t break into new and unusual spots, and you cannot have contracted Phlox. The worst should pass in a few days, and I will be here with you, for you, the whole time.”

[ficsinhistory]

So, I'm having a lot of free time and hc in the head, so here are some ideas from Hc to Karmi.

It's going to be a long post.

She is an orphan mother, who died when she was four years of a fatal illness. After this happened, her father went a little further; he still loved her, but she could see that he was always trying to distract himself and neglected her because of it.

She has her mother's eyes. If you ask her father, he will say that Karmi has the "sweet but fierce look that will make you feel the luckiest human being in the world or wish to have never been born and beg for mercy. One of the two. There's no middle ground. "You can imagine what made him fall in love with his wife.

Her father has an important position at a scientific research firm in San Fransokyo, taking over after his wife's death as a distraction, leaving him without much time for his daughter, who tries to understand him. Karmi always thinks that's his way of dealing with things. However, he always dines with his daughter, no matter what, he and Karmi have dinner together even if he has to leave later.

She discovered that she was a prodigy on a school trip, at age 5. On an excursion to the Muirahara Forest, the class discovered that Karmi had read all the biology books in the library with no one to see and now knew the names of all the trees in the forest. That was just one of the things she knew, and her father later had to have a talk about where the babies come from because of it.

She grew very lonely. As an only child, her father did not want to marry again, and being a prodigy kept most of the children away, Karmi had few friends and none as the years went by; filling her time by reading in the city library or doing her own research, was when she got into the habit of talking to the virus. In addition to developing her imagination creating history for herself.

She also suffered a lot of bullying. She was called an aberration by more malicious children and rejected by those who did not resort to verbal derision. She was also threatened to do the homework of others. The situation was so severe that everything only stopped when, at age 10. She filled the closet with one of the bullys of poisonous grass, after which, she took a week's suspension, but was left alone.

Because of this, Karmi grew up with suspicion and assumed that everyone had some kind of bad intention until they proved otherwise. That made her skeptical and sarcastic, but somehow she's still optimistic for most things, becoming cold only when it comes to social relationships, putting her heart and soul into everything she does away with.

She suffered a lot of prejudice for being a girl on a scientific branch. She had to prove herself and still put up with sexist and moronic comments that she should do something less dangerous than dealing with deadly viruses and trying more feminine things. She presented a work with the Black Death virus at that time. Her father was very pleased with this result.

She, like Hiro, finished school at age 13. Karmi graduated with merit and her father had a small party to celebrate, it was the first time in years that she had seen him with such a smile.

Karmi's relationship with her father is troubled. She knows he loves her, but the same is a long way away and she spends the day working, which forced her to learn to do most of the things on her own, from tramping the city to cooking and cleaning the house, Karmi knows how to do all. However, the best part of her day is when her beloved parent is going to kiss her good night.

Hiro may have learned to walk through San Fransokyo thanks to bot fight, but Karmi has been alone since she was nine years old, which makes her know all the ways of the city in the palm of her hand. The market, the laundry room, she knows where everything is! She was very good at nurturing the nannies until her father gave up and only gave her a cell phone and red earrings with tracker and beak detector for her, telling her to be careful about "adventures". She never takes them off.

Karmi was never very vain, she always cared more about her intellect than her appearance. Even enjoying a period at the beauty salon depending on the season, she will always choose her lab or a library above anything else. She says she's smart, wants to please her? Praise her brain.

Even loving plants, she chose viruses and bacteria as the study area. After what happened to her mother, she try to find cures and treatments so that no one else has to deal with the pain she had. She still has the picture of her mother by the bed.

Speaking of which, Karmi's mother was also a biologist in botany. She met her husband at a meeting to discuss the fate of Muirahara when some businessmen wanted to overthrow her and her team studied some special native orchids. She was frustrated that she could not find a good argument when the local trainee and her future husband tried to cheer her up and said exactly what she needed. She managed to get on with the job and he got a later meeting at a coffee shop. She also had the habit of taking her daughter to the forest to see these orchids. The prodigy visits the flowers to this day.

Karmi had plenty of free time before going to college, which she did when she was only 15. In that two years, she experimented with various hobbies and acquired various skills. She knows how to draw, play ukulele, sing, write and do athletics, the latter made her very flexible and agile. She also watched and still watch anime and read comics.

On the comics, even though she's not an amateur like Fred, Karmi is still a big fan, with her favorite hero being Captain Fancy. She had spent a whole night reading a saga that left her in tears. The death of a loved character as a protagonist's relative is not easy to deal with!

She always wanted to go to college, but she did not know which one yet. It was at the age of 14 that she paid a visit to SFIT and put it into her head that it was there that she would study there. Later she succeeded.

On the night of the fire, she was present showing a biology job, away from the stage of presentation. All she saw from the microbots was from afar, with a small boy presenting. She was also one of the first to be rescued by firefighters. It was all very confusing that night. Later, she learned of the death of Tadashi and the monument built in honor of him. Orchids are still one of the most beautiful flowers in the memorial.

Karmi and Tadashi knew each other, although they were not friends, they had a good time together. When Baymax was being built, Tadashi asked for her help with some diseases and their treatments. When she went to deliver what he asked for, Tadashi said she remembered his younger brother, although she was taller. He made a recording citing her that day.

One of her motives does not like Hiro is because he, in her view, took the only stable thing she had in life. She does not hate him, but when the emotional, social, family life and everything else is more fickle than the sea and being the youngest student was the only thing she was sure, taking that out was like taking a piece of the fight, history and soul. If she was not successful at it, what else would she have? Karmi tries to avoid this feeling, but is stronger than she.

She admires Liv Amara because she knew her story was very much like hers. A girl alone and rejected I built a successful company. Even though she might wonder what happened to the twin sister who left the project early on. It should not be important ...

Already the admiration with the leader of Big Hero 6 comes for something more deep and personal. She finds it incredible how someone so young has such a noble sense of justice and doing what he does, without fearing to lose his life, always putting others above himself. This encourages her and helps that if she does things on a large scale, she can help others in the same way. Only from a more anonymous and less risky idea ... directly. She thinks that if he has these problems and defends others that way, he can deal with hers.

Karmi's biggest problem, even, is her anxiety. Due to years of bullying and traumatic life abuse, she has developed bouts of strong anxieties that incapacitate her for a reasonable amount of time. They hate their attack episodes as they make them feel vulnerable and useless, and they always happen to her alone, since she spends a lot of time with no one, which only worsened after she almost died on Akuma Island and with the attack on Sycorax. When that happens, she likes to think about her mother.

Like Hiro, she is a complete negation of waltz dancing and dancing in general, however, she is very good at ballet due to five years of schooling that her father has put her in since discovering that she was a genius. However, other types are still a challenge.

Karmi did not have many crushes during her life. Boys have always been a tricky topic, especially when she had her own problems. There were few of whom she liked, most did not even know of her existence, and honestly, she preferred that. Although she wonders what it's like to genuinely like someone that way and someone likes it back.

Speaking of which, she does not really believe Hiro has a crush on her. Since he was one of the first guys who were really kind, she interpreted this as chartering, but after a few days she came to the conclusion that she did not and just said that to annoy him more than anything. For all intents and purposes, however, she had to assume that he was cute.

One secret no one knows is that she likes to camp alone in the woods, climb on top of a tree and watch the stars. The city at night is beautiful, but it does not compare to the night sky of Muirahara, add this to the music box that she puts on and you will have a perfect scenery!

She likes Honey Lemon a lot and admires the blonde's always spontaneous way. Even though she did not much enjoy physical contact, however, she was not going to lie, bio-besties made her day.

She has Grandville as a maternal model and enjoys receiving her directions. Although it was a bit embarrassing when she called her mother once. The woman stayed in the clouds.

One of her favorite times is the Blue Moon festival, an occasion similar to an eclipse event, where the city likes to observe the annual phenomenon that leaves the moon bluish. This phenomenon is observed by the astronomers and Karmi loves the sweets and ornaments of that time. All blue. There is a legend among astronomy students that the light modified by the event makes the brain release more sensitive substances from the body that make you only speak the truth and leaves you unable to fake, and that if a couple stands on the bluish light, it gives to know if they like each other.

By this time she likes to wear only blue outfits throughout the week and see the final event with the apex of the full blue moon in the woods with some other students. This time brings her best memories.

One reminder of that time even was that she was with her father, who had opened a space in the agenda to take the daughter to the festival and then to the great observation. It was a night of laughter and marshmellos covered in chocolates.

Also has one of the most ... unusual souvenirs. She was 10 and away from her father to play around when she met a boy crying, saying that she had lost her aunt and brother. She sat down next to him, offered a sweet spit that was well accepted and they began to talk. She discovered that he liked gummy bears and that his hair was really messy and that in fact he had not been attacked by a squirrel. He discovered that she was able to catalog entire families of plants and that she was very fond of chocolate. They ended up seeing the blue moon together that night. He later found the family and her father. Amazingly, he did not quarrel with her or anything of the sort. He just laughed and said that kid looked like fun.

Currently at the stage and with everything that happened, Karmi has her suspicions of Liv, wanting to admit it or not, she has that inner voice inside her warning. And that usually is right.

She wants to win a biology nobel because someone has to help.

Those were my hc, and maybe I'll write a story about the blue moon festival, but by then ... I hope you enjoyed it, bye!