#i wish i could give lee know the true flowers he deserves

[skzfaker]

I'm fighting through the pain as it keeps getting louder I'm broken, faded like a withering flower But in the pouring rain, that's when I get stronger Push me off again

[alreadyblondenow]

Each other’s replacements

▸ Na Jaemin x female!reader ▸ Inspired by the anime Scum’s Wish ▸ High school au, SMUUUUT, fluff and angst

Summary: Two broken hearts met unexpectedly and agreed to use each other so you can both move on from your exes. Your hearts belong to each other already, you’re just waiting for love to take place and make everything right. But will you both still choose each other in the future? Word count: 6,988k

Warnings: Using each other to forget your exes, ex Lee Jeno, kind of fuck buddies but no? Fingering, mentions of fingering, handjob, blowjob, and watching each other masturbate, mentions of taking nude photos after sex, Jaemin taking a picture of your naked body after sex (with consent ofc), uproctected sex, mentions of rough sex, making out, swearing, mentions of breakup, actual breakup

A/N: I hope you enjoy this Jaemin fic. I tried writing it as realistic as possible because I think Scum’s Wish is a very mature and realistic anime, I mean shit like that happens in real life. And I think Mugi is so fucking handsome. The ending of the series sux btw HAHAA bc I wanted them to end up together so heres my version of it. 

It all happened so fast but the heartbreak stayed and the process of healing is very slow.

Three months have passed already when your ex-boyfriend Jeno broke up with you on a nice afternoon after school. The reason? Well, let’s just say he fell out of love. And that’s what made it worst because you remember that all you ever did was love him and please him.

Every day, you go to school, attend class, study hard but you always looked so gloomy. And whenever Jeno cross paths with you in the hallways, he knew he hurt you badly and that you’re not your normal self anymore. The cheerful and excited girl he fell in love with was gone and it’s all because of him. He can only wish that someone will bring you back and make you happy again.

“I’ll help you with that,” a cold manly voice interrupted you and your thoughts while you were having a hard time throwing the trash. He’s not part of your class, he’s one of Jeno’s classmates but you two were never introduced to each other.

You watch him throw the heavy trash for you and hoping that he will hand the bin afterward but he didn’t. “Lead the way, it’s dirty I’ll hold it for you” he insists, so you do as you’re told, showed him the way so you can finish this day as soon as possible.

Jaemin knew everything. It’s a small school and students usually gossip too much whenever a couple breaks up, especially after being together for so long. He knew who broke your heart, he also knew that you used to smile and be cheerful all the time because he has seen you in places and he knew you're capable of automatically lighting up the place whenever you’re around. But now… all he can see is a broken-hearted girl.

“Here,” you hand him a tissue and your hand sanitizer as a thank you for not letting your hands get dirty. He accepted it and gave you a small smile, obviously, he’s not shy and he was looking directly at you while his hands move. To be honest, you have no reason to be shy with each other, and honestly, you just don’t care anymore you just want to end this day. But Jaemin being the bold man that he is, bravely loosen up the ribbon of your school uniform and undid a few buttons from your school blouse. It was a common thing for students to do that after school as a sign that they're ready to head home and end their day. Jeno used to do it for you, and you didn’t expect Jaemin would do it. Despite the fact that you only met properly today.

You don’t know what happened but your heart was racing the moment he’s done adjust it and you just stare at his crooked tie and figured you may as well loosen it up for him too and return the favor. A bold move that Jaemin did not expect from a girl because he’s used to being with girls who become shy and all flustered after he makes a move.

But you, you’re different.

And that’s when Jaemin realized that you are a perfect match for him.

Word is Na Jaemin is pretty popular with girls. Besides Lee Jeno your ex, Na Jaemin is the second most handsome guy in school. Not only that he’s handsome, but you also know that he is passionate when it comes to photography, he’s naturally smart, not that nice, quiet but cocky, cold but can give anyone the right amount of attention if he wants to. But in your case, you have his full attention.

That afternoon, for the first time in three months, you did not go home alone, someone walked with you and watched you go inside your house.

The same cold but needed interaction with Jaemin happened over and over again until people started to gossip and think that you’re together. But it was nothing like that and you stopped caring about rumors a long time ago. Jaemin is nothing like Jeno, but he’s a gentleman, he’s straightforward but most of the time quiet. And most of the time you share silence not stories and you both love it that way.

You were different people but before you knew it, you were spending more time with each other.

On Valentine's day, you don’t know what came to his mind and brought you a bouquet of roses and gave it to you secretly. You were genuinely happy of course, but you just couldn’t smile that big and show him more. Seeing him from afar with a dozen roses and a smirk, with his black sling bag he uses for school that makes him so attractive… is enough to call your Valentine's day a memorable day.

“You’re special too,” he said and hands you the bouquet. “Ready to go home? Sorry I couldn’t help you with trash today, I picked these up right after school and rushed back-“

“Thank you” you cut him off with a friendly kiss on the cheek that made him blush and shy for the first time.

With a bouquet of roses on your left arm and the trash bin on your right hand, you came back to your classroom to get your stuff and put the bin back. You cleaned your hands and admire the roses as the afternoon sunlight hits them perfectly and finally come out again to meet Jaemin. Only to find him eavesdropping on the classroom near yours.

“What-“

“Shh” he cut you off with a ‘shh’ gesture and made you look at the half-closed door and made you listen to their conversation as well.

Jeno I like you too.

Were words that immediately ruined your day that Jaemin perfected. But this is not about you. Because when you turned your back and looked at the man beside you, you saw yourself. The pain that you’ve been feeling for months now, you saw it in Jaemin’s eyes too. Now you understand that you’re just two broken people who are still in pain. And you have no idea that he has been hurting too.

Of course, seeing Jeno with another girl hurt you badly, but seeing Jaemin get teary-eyed bothered you more. So you reached for his hand and whispered, ‘it’s okay’ even though it’s not, and walked away silently with him to continue your day together.

“Do you think they’re just doing this because people are gossiping about us?” you asked while you watch him stare at his coffee blankly. You’ve never seen him like this even though he’s always quiet and cold.

“N-no. I know my ex, uhm… she wouldn’t use anyone. Is Jeno-“

“No. I know him too. And I know that he’s happy when he found out about us,”

“So it’s true then. Their feelings for each other” he said and went back to staring at his coffee blankly.

You pursed your lips and let out a deep sigh. Allowing yourself to be hurt again by hearing the truth that you have been completely replaced in Jeno’s heart. There was silence. Then you decided to admire the flowers that Jaemin gave to you and feel the soft petals on your fingertips. This day could have been a turning page for the both of you, but now you’re both very sure that you’re not yet ready to open your hearts for somebody else.

“Red roses mean love and romance,” you said as you continue to admire the roses that he gave which made him smile a little. “Do you like me?” and just like that, you gave him the question that you’ve been meaning to ask for the past few months.

“I do” he answered without hesitating, which gave you a shock actually. “Do you?” he returned the question.

“I don’t,” you said the truth because you can’t repay him with lies. No. You can’t do that to Jaemin, “but you’ve become special to me. And I don’t want to lose you too,” Honestly you thought being honest to him will make him feel even more horrible but it didn’t. In fact, it brought the unique handsome smile you love seeing on his face.  

“Though, it’s not right that we are using each other to forget our exes-“ you added but he cut you off immediately.

“But I need you, and honestly I’ve been very happy these past few weeks because of you” he confessed. And you wish that you could tell him the same thing but you can’t because it’s still Jeno. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not begging you to stay. You’re an adult and I have nothing against your decisions. But I really hope we could go back to normal and be closer now that we know what each other really feels. I will date you properly when the right time comes… Just not now that we're both still confused and not sure”  

Everything did not make sense of course, and the right thing to do is refuse. But the past few weeks were actually good. Not great but still Jaemin was a huge change. So you nod your head and agreed that you should continue what you’re doing but promised each other that if either one of you feels pressured already, then you should stop.

As you continue seeing Jaemin and trying to move on from Jeno, you became comfortable with each other as days go by to the point that neither one of you cares if someone mentions that you look great together even though your relationship is not true.

It was a never-ending try to give each other the chance and love that you deserve. But at the same time, it was a never-ending process of healing from your exes, a never-ending heartbreak whenever you two hear something good about their relationship. And to be honest you’re both happy that you’re not facing this heartbreak alone.

You’re thankful for each other because you have each other’s backs. But in a different way.

Jaemin is thankful for you because he can hold your hand, hug you tightly from behind then whisper sweet words, and kiss your neck, whenever he wants to, and whenever he misses skinship with his ex.

You on the other hand, is thankful too because he does these various things to you and you can just close your eyes and he lets you imagine that he’s Jeno. Like now. You were just cuddling and watching the rain from his window when suddenly his hand roamed under your skirt while he was listening to you talk, and his cold fingers played on the hem of your panties. Teasing your pussy and moving his fingers up and down your wet cover slit.

“How does Jeno touch you? Is gentle? Rough?” He asks in the sexiest tone he ever used and started kissing your neck. You had a hard time answering his question because of what he’s doing, but your mind lurks on the memories you had with Jeno in his room.

You remember how Jeno fingered you in his bed, how two fingers always feel good and that’s how you like it, you remember that while his fingers are deep inside you, he is busy kissing your body. Planting soft kisses on your chest and on your boobs, kissing your nipples and making them sensitive and he puts them in his mouth and sucks it good until it's both swollen.

This is the first time Jaemin had touched you down there. And you swear, you don’t want him to stop and you just want to remove your panties and spread your legs for him.

“Jaem-“ you moaned out an airy tone. Calling his name with your eyes closed and parted lips. Feeling his fingers go up and down your wet slit still.

“Do you mean Jeno?” Jaemin asks. But truth be told he doesn’t mind you moaning his name instead on your first time going too far. And finally, he removed your panties and made you spread your legs for him which you gladly did. Putting two fingers slowly while he’s watching you make the sexiest faces that just simply makes him hard.

Jaemin never rushed, he took his sweet time with your body. Pushing you on the edge over and over again but you don’t know why you haven’t cum yet. His tongue and fingers together were somewhat calming and just made you breathe in and out deeply, which is relaxing while you spread your legs even more.

And when you finally came, it was a nice warm feeling all over your body. Like you just got out of the shower, wet and relaxed. Though you feel so tired, weak and sleepy... Jeno was never like this but your imagination was a big help that you moaned Jeno’s name a couple of times and that made Jaemin felt so accomplished.

“How about you? Don’t you want to cum?” you asked Jaemin while you watch him help you wear your panties again, kissing your thighs after.

“Maybe later,” he said, not admitting that he came earlier too, ruining his boxers briefs.

That day you did more than touching each other’s private parts but actually giving each other oral sex for the first time. His sheets were so ruined because he came so hard when you gave him a blowjob, a handjob and when he jerked himself in front of you while he watches you finger yourself. In return, he made you cum more than three times using his fingers and tongue. And you came home with a weak body and weak legs that you flopped straight in your bed and slept with a smile.

But there are times that it’s just the two of you. Just Jaemin and Y/n, no exes involved. Where you can be free being yourselves whenever you’re alone together. Like him snapping pictures of you out of nowhere while you’re busy kissing him, or whenever you just finished having sex and you’re both too lazy to get dressed again and he will suddenly capture amazing photos of you while you’re still naked in his bed, wearing nothing but the smile he gave you because of the sex.

“Hmm. Jaemin, these are beautiful. Can I have this one? I love seeing your works, it’s like I’m seeing myself through your eyes”

Little did you know that that simple compliment from you made him blush hard and his heart jump. It’s not every day he gets to be himself, but lately, he has been feeling so inspired with his craft and he had a good guess it’s because of you.

“You can keep this too, it’s one of my favorites,” he said and handed you a picture of you kissing him while he smiles so big and so handsome with both of your eyes closed. It’s a perfect moment, a moment that Jaemin captured in the middle of him being so happy that you’re showering him with kisses.

Jaemin is sweet and quiet as usual and he showers you with love and affection every day in his own way. He’s not the normal guy who will praise you and tell you that you’re beautiful, he will just simply look at you like you’re his favorite person in the world. Which you are now. He doesn’t talk too much because one, that’s his personality already and two, he simply loves listening to you even though you don’t talk too much yourself.

He is the complete opposite of Jeno, and that’s why he became special to you.

“Yesterday, me and my mom were at the mall and I saw them. Just from afar and they were about to enter the movies and… you know, seeing them together hurt” he says while kicking stones on your way to your house.

You can only imagine the pain he felt when he saw them spending time together, and now it’s your time to get hurt because Jeno used to bring you to the movies. Then it gave you an idea.

“Do you want to go to the movies tomorrow? My treat,” you said. Nervous and shy you slowly met eyes and stopped walking when you finally arrived in front of your house.

“Did you just realized that I haven’t taken you out on a date? Because I feel bad, I just realized it now” he rambles.

“No no,” you chuckled, “I simply wanted to go to the movies with you. So tomorrow?” you were slowly walking away from him with a small smile on your face. If Jaemin was being honest, he wanted to be with you just a little bit longer. But parting will make your meeting even sweeter the next day.

On the next day, you remember clearly that you said ‘my treat’ yesterday. But the whole day that you’re together he never let you pay for anything, not even a bottle of water. You feel at ease even though it’s your first date and it’s your first time seeing each other in casual clothes and not in your uniforms, or wearing nothing at all. He looked handsome in his get up, he knows how to dress and he sure does look like the warm person you know.

“Do you like anything else?” he whispered beside you while you two wait for the movie to start and watch people enter.

“No I’m just a little chilly. But I’m fine, keep your jacket,” you stopped him before he removes his jacket, you know he will. So instead of lending you his jacket, he kept you close and wrapped an arm around you.

“This is nice, right?” he whispered back and rested his head on yours.

During the movie, Jaemin did not try any funny business. Though you were waiting for it and of course you will give him your consent. If this was Jeno, by this time you’re whimpering and cumming on his fingers by now. But you’re with Jaemin right now, and Jaemin did nothing but hold your hand, keep you close and keep you warm. And the thing that he did that made your heart race the most, was when he tightens his embrace when the couple kissed in the movie, exchanged ‘i love yous’ and he pulled you closer to him. “We’ll get there,” he whispered, “Just remember that I’m the one here and not Jeno” and you nod because you agree to him.  

Not long after your first date, you and Jaemin shared a kiss under a lamppost just before you enter your house. It was not your first kiss of course. But it was the first time that you two felt that there we're no lust involved. It was a genuine kiss. A kiss that told you ‘I’m glad you chose to stay in this stupid relationship we have’ not to mention his soft lips were addicting and he was gentle the whole time. He wasn’t rushing you, he wasn’t hungry for you. But you can feel his long to finally move on and give his love wholly to you.

“Is it okay if I kiss you like that every day from now on?” he asked softly, forehead to forehead and just enjoying the cold breeze of the evening and the quietness of the street.

It’s Jaemin, not Jeno. You remind yourself over and over again.

“Yes” you nod and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Kiss me again” you requested. And so Jaemin did, even deeper but this time he took your breath away during the kiss.

The moment you closed the door and Jaemin watched you go inside your house safely, you burst into tears because you can’t help but see Jeno in your head and imagine that it’s Jeno kissing you not Jaemin. Even though it felt nothing like Jeno’s kisses, even though you smell Jaemin’s unique cologne, still it’s Jeno whom you see in your head and it’s Jeno whom you really wanted to kiss.

Days passed by and you try a little harder to show him affection, you try a little harder to be with Jaemin and not think about your ex, you try saying Jaemin’s name more often. Calling him with a smile, surprising him with back hugs, smiling with him more. Honestly, you just want to help yourself with forgetting Jeno completely because it’s exhausting already.

Today is the school’s fair and you’ve been with your friends the whole day laughing and discussing boys over snacks, sex and other stuff. And while you and your friends have been participating in a lot of games today, Jaemin can’t stop taking pictures of you from afar and watch your pretty smile. The smile he’s been seeing a lot lately and he hopes that it’s because of him.

‘Hey beautiful, I like your smile’

You received a text from him, you look around where he is and you found him behind you. Smiling so handsomely with his camera slung on his shoulder. Your friends teased you and Jaemin for being all flirty with your glances, you have never been shy around him but now there are butterflies in your stomach. Jaemin then shamelessly showed your friends how he treats you nicely, he can’t kiss you inside the school grounds so he winked at you instead and smiled.

It definitely made everyone around you jealous. Especially when Jaemin started taking your pictures, something no one was ever seen Jaemin do.

At the end of the day, you and Jaemin walk hand in hand and went to his house to cuddle and flirt more in his bed. Hands intertwined, legs tangled, bodies closer and just listening to each other talk about the most random things.

That’s right, you and Jaemin now talk. No more comfortable silence, no more quiet walks, you’ve come so far to reach this level of comfort. And when you’re both comfortable in each other’s arms like this, you both never shut up about the things you want to share with each other. Like the comfortable silence was gone with your awkward and shy phase too.

You asked him how he used to love his ex and he never shuts up about it, and it is as if he was describing how he’s treating you but when it comes to you everything was better. Like how he used to not care about Valentines for his ex but for you he went to different kinds of flower shop just so he can find the best quality of red roses. He used to hate walking with his ex because it’s making him sweat like crazy, but when it comes to you, seeing and watching you go inside your home safely was satisfying.

“Jaemin what are we? Are we friends with benefits now? Or just friends?” you dropped the question out of nowhere while you two lie in your bed, and you play with his long and perfect eyelashes.

“Hmm. No, fuck buddies avoid feelings while we... well, we try to develop our feelings. Let’s say we're two waiting hearts, were not yet in love with each other but… we belong to each other already. How’s that sound?”

“Waiting hearts. Hmm. I like it. Did you made that up?” you giggle and ran your fingertips on his very soft lips, which made him catch your hand and kiss it before he opens his beautiful eyes again.

“Yeah” he says, “But everything I said was true. Moving on is a bitch and I just can’t wait to love you right,”

And those words were just right. Perfect actually, that it made you kiss him sweetly and sincerely. And with your lips and the way you kiss, Jaemin felt that you made a promise to him. Like you’re not going to make him wait for nothing. And because of that he deepens the kiss and went on top of you, placing his body in between your legs, kissing your body nonstop and whispering sweet things to you.

“When we're finally and officially together, I won’t hurt you as Jeno did,” and you believe him because even though that you’re a wreck now, Jaemin stayed and put up with you.

He suddenly stopped kissing you, letting you breathe and bask at this moment, then he swallowed the lump in his throat and told you the truth. “I’m finally getting there…by the way, I mean, all I think about is us-you,” he was talking about his progress of moving on. “You don’t have to be pressured or anything at this point just, focus on yourself. Okay?” he said and kissed you again.

As your days with Jaemin continues, you don’t see Jeno anymore whenever you’re with Jaemin. No more imagining, it’s just you, the moment, and Jaemin. Though you’re not sure if you’ve already moved on this time or you’re just too overwhelmed because of Jaemin. Still, you know to yourself that you’re getting there and Jaemin is the reason why you’re even more closer to peace now. But you haven’t told him yet because you’re not ready. For you, you know that he will not leave and so it’s okay to take your time.

It started when you realized everything that he has done for you and the things that he’s ready to do for you. Loving again, or being given the opportunity to love someone again so deep is something so special and exciting especially when the man who holds your heart and the one waiting for you right now is Jaemin. The life you’re taking before Jaemin was like a black tunnel that you’ve been walking around in circles for some time now. And you sure as hell don’t want to take that path again.  

And just thinking about experiencing the things that Jaemin has to offer, you can only do that if you give up on Jeno. So with great effort, you slowly focus your mind only on Jaemin and replace every bit of Jeno in your life with Jaemin, and from now on you make sure that you have something in return for him.

“Jaemin-“ you moan his name. Something so new and so satisfying for Jaemin to hear it's his name you moan now, not Jeno’s.

“You know, you make me shy whenever you say my name” he catches his breath and came closer to you to plant kisses on your back and knead your boobs from behind, nipples hard and swollen because you’ve been in bed with him for almost two hours now. “What do you need?” he asks while making you feel good with his lips and hands.

“Maybe slow down? I’m not going anywhere,” you hear him giggle from behind because of your request, slapping your but playfully and squeezing it good. Then suddenly, out of nowhere he rolled his hips, and let out a sexy grunt. “Fuck Jaemin, I wasn’t ready-“ you croak and landed on the mattress, face first as you grip the sheets and take Jaemin’s cock followed by a wave of hard and fast thrusts.

He kept a firm grip on your waist as he gives you hard thrusts and he kept you down on the mattress, a hand on your waist and a hand on your nape. It kept your movements minimal that’s why you can’t do anything now that you’re on the edge and he’s torturing you using his dick. But the best part of Jaemin fucking you from behind is the way he fucks you rough... so rough sometimes that you get red marks after a good round. This only happens whenever he catches his breath, but sometimes his thrusts become slow and deeper and honestly you feel like he’s rearranging your insides. And of course you love it whenever he’s just so fast and the sound of skin slapping surrounds his room and the impact of his thrust just drags you on the mattress, almost at the edge of the bed and he would have to drag your body towards him and fuck you faster and harder.

But this time, your pussy is so sensitive and your body is giving up and shivering already that you try and push him away, moan his name for mercy, grip his sheets while you arch your back so beautifully to ease your sensitivity.

“You said you’re not going anywhere? Why are you running away from me? Huh?” it was a sexy tone and his thrusts started to go slow but deeper than before and he had spread your legs again from behind. His arm is around your neck and ends at your shoulder, bodies closer than ever as he puts his whole weight on you and you feel his hard rock abs hits your back. Then he started thrusting hard again but now you can’t move your body because he got you locked in his arms, and instead of gripping the sheets, you now grip Jaemin’s arm and hands as you don’t have a choice but to accept his hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust, you breathe heavily and let out groans and call out his name. Until your body can’t take it anymore and you’re shaking uncontrollably and you did everything you can to push him away and try curling yourself into a ball but Jaemin was quick to flip you on your back and reach in for a deep kiss.

Kissing you while you cum and enjoy your orgasm. Feeling his tongue swirl around your as your body shakes and his hands caress your thighs so you could calm down and melt on his kiss.

After you cum, you and Jaemin did not stop kissing. He stayed above you, in between your legs and proceed to make out. Slowly and passionately, hands roaming to appreciate each other’s body, hands together and your lips locks and you look at each other with deep admiration.

“I want to date for real now. I’m so afraid to lose you Y/n,” he said directly into your eyes and rested his forehead on yours. “I promise I can do more for you, just be mine completely” he reached for your hands and kissed your knuckles.

Finally, you thought. And to be honest you have so much to say but none came out from your mouth. You looked at his tired sex face, his hair is all over his face, sweaty and his lips are swollen because of your intense kisses. And because your heart is full of happiness right now, you just nod so fast and cup his face and attacked him with kisses.

A love for love.

The first few days with Jaemin were beautiful. You both have your hearts full of love admiration towards one another and you shower each other with love every day without having second thoughts. You have never been loved like this and you didn’t know that you can love someone as deeply.

In just a few days, lust and love were perfectly balanced in your relationship. Now that you’re officially together, you and Jaemin would rather talk non-stop while holding hands, laugh and laugh until you’re both in tears, rather than have sex and exhaust each other out. But of course, now that you’re together, you can finally have the right to stay the night at their house, meet his family, have quiet sex at night where Jaemin’s lips are on your lips, catching every sound and moan you make so his parents won’t suspect.

“I love you,” you said and kissed him before you close your eyes and drift away. In return, he tightens his embrace and kissed you one too many times.

“I love you too,”

Now that you and Jaemin are official, he wanted to do everything again with you. Meaning, he wanted to give you flowers again as your boyfriend this time and not just as someone who’s waiting for you. He wanted to take you out on a proper date as your boyfriend, on your favorite fast food and spend all night long being happy with you.

SUNDAY

At first, you didn’t want to agree with his plan because him giving you all his love every day was enough. But he insists, and that’s why you’re waiting for your handsome boyfriend at your favorite fast food with a glass of water in front of you. He’s 30 minutes late already and you wonder why.

“I’ll get the red ones please, my girlfriend loved those last Valentine's day,” Jaemin’s smile was so big as he watches the florist wrap the red roses he got for you. He’s late because he went to the same shop where he bought you the flowers that you loved last Valentine's day.

And just as Jaemin walks out of the flower shop with a bouquet of red roses in his arm and a smile on his face, he thought about how this night will definitely be a great night for the two of you. And most importantly, no exes to ruin your first date as a couple.

While you were waiting for Jaemin inside, you didn’t know that he’s outside with a dozen roses in his arm and just smiling because he is now looking at the girl whom he loves the most.

Then suddenly, his phone rang and accepted an unexpected phone call. The voice of the girl on the other line was familiar. Very familiar. And his fist balled up immediately when he heard her crying through the phone. Turns out, he still can’t say no to the girl he used to love so much and his excitement on seeing you was immediately replaced with anger.

“Who made you cry? Where are you?” Jaemin asked sternly to his ex.

“He left me Jaems- I’m sorry I don’t know who else to call, I’m at home can you please go here? I really need someone right now, I’ll lose my mind,”

And just like that, he chose his ex over you. He told himself, he will be quick and still meet you afterward. But you waited for an hour… until closing time. Leaving tons and tons of messages to Jaemin but he didn’t return any of them. Maybe something important came up? A family matter? You tried and tried to forgive him even though you’re pissed that he didn’t show up. You even reminded yourself that you didn’t want this date in the first place so why be upset? So it’s okay.  

When you’re finally near your house after a very disappointing date that could have been a beautiful one for you and Jaemin, a very familiar figure was waiting for you outside your house.

One glance at that perfect face, small crescent eyes, and beautiful smile, gave your mind an instant flashback. The guy who loved you first way before Jaemin came into your life, the man who loved you in your highs and lowest moment, the man you’ve been waiting to come back…. is finally back.

“How are you?” he started.

“Better. Jeno, what are you doing here?” you asked, straight to the point.

“I just came by to see you. I’m the one who ruined us but I still miss you from time to time you know? And now I know why,”

“And that is?”

“Regrets. Now that I’m single again, for sure my regrets will even weigh more,” he let out a heavy sigh and looked at his shoes before he gave you a question. A question that he already knows the answer. “If I ask you to come back, will you accept it?” he didn’t look you in the eye. He just stared at the sky and waited for your answer.

“No,” you said honestly and without regrets. “I waited for you to come back long enough. And I worked so hard to be healed again,”

“Then I should’ve asked you earlier then. I should’ve left her earlier,”

What he said sounded wrong for you. Because you know if he did those earlier you will end up hurting Jaemin instead. At least now, it’s clear like the sky above that you no longer love Jeno.

The night ended with a friendly hug. It’s the only comfort you can offer to him because you respect your boyfriend. And you well know that staying longer with Jeno tonight can spark your first fight with Jaemin.

But as you lie in your bed and think about everything that happened tonight, your mind takes you to unwanted scenarios where Jaemin chose to comfort his ex rather than meeting up with you. It’s not right to doubt Jaemin, so you close your eyes and looked forward to the next day.

And just as you thought, you’re going to wake up with a bunch of missed calls or texts from Jaemin, you have none. So there is something wrong.

Jaemin on the other hand is staring at a white ceiling and thinking about the things that he can’t take back right now. It’s too early for regrets but he doesn’t have a choice but to rethink his wrong decisions, over and over again. Starting when he answered the phone call from the naked girl beside him right now. The wrong decisions he made last night was the epitome of the phrase, ‘one thing led to another’

He answered the call and stood you up.

He went to his ex’s house.

He returned the kiss.

He agreed to fuck.

It was all his choice. Wrong choices that made him lose and lost you way before your relationship could have bloomed beautifully. And he can’t take that back because he can't show his face to you anymore for the sexual activity that happened last night between him and his ex, somehow brought them back together.

SUNDAY

It all happened so fast but the heartbreak stayed and the process of healing is very slow.

Seven days have passed already when Jaemin stood you up on a date to choose his ex over you. The reason? Well, you don’t know because you and Jaemin did not talk it out… the breakup sort of happened automatically when you saw him and his now girlfriend again, holding hands while entering the school grounds on a cold Monday morning. And that’s what made it worst because you remember that all you ever did was love him and be better to make way for the love you thought you both want.

Every day, you go to school, attend class, study hard but you always looked so gloomy. Again. And whenever Jaemin crosses paths with you in the hallways, he knew he hurt you badly and that he broke every promise he told you. He can only wish that he could turn back time and choose to not answer that fucking call.

Just like that, you’re back in that black tunnel and you didn’t expect that Jaemin will be the reason why you’re back on this dark path again. And this time, the heartbreak was ten times even worst than what you felt during your breakup with Jeno.  

A few more weeks after the breakup, you started being alone with yourself again and try to give your heart a break from all the drama.

But one fateful afternoon, when everyone had gone home already and you’re on trash duty again, as usual, Jaemin finally decided to swallow his pride and say the apology you deserve.

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” Jaemin said out of nowhere. He was looking straight into your eyes when he said it, and you can see that he’s sincere through his eyes.

“I hope you’re happy” and that's all you can say and try to walk away.

“I’m not- do you still love me?”

It was a question that broke both of your hearts because you both know that even though love is involved, it’s still not enough to keep you together.

But still, you answered him with all honesty. “Yes” short and simple.

“Then let's be together-“ he proposed with hopeful eyes.

“And what? Cheat?” you ask sternly, he nodded. “One of the reasons why I liked you back then is because you’re not complicated. You’re a simple ‘yes’ and ‘no’, but now you’re the one who complicates things. I’m sorry. It’s a no,” and that is an answer Jaemin did not expect from you because he thought you loved him that much that you’re still going to accept him. But maybe, the pain that he’s feeling right now, is the same pain that you felt when he chose his ex over you that night.

As days, months, and seasons change but of course the heartbreak never left, you focus more on being with yourself until finally you survived this school year and today is your last day in school. But before everything ended, a lot has happened before it finally ended, like Jeno suddenly transferring schools, Jaemin is single again, and you were awarded for ranking #3 out of hundreds of other students studying their asses off.

That same afternoon, while you’re fixing your stuff and ready yourself to go home under the pouring rain, Jaemin found you alone in your classroom again. And it felt like you’re meeting again for the first time. You don’t know why you accepted his help, you don’t know why you let him walk you home under his small umbrella that made you walk closely together.

He was quiet. You were quiet. But it was not the comfortable silence you used to have, it was very awkward. But you both endured it because if you’re both going to be honest with your feelings, you both wanted this.

“Are we going to do this again?” you ask before you enter your house.  

“Yes. The right way,”

And you know you both found your way back to each other because it’s the right thing to do.

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳all the king's men ♡ ☾

in which all the king's men couldn't put the pieces of y/n l/n together. we all have the days where we're insecure and broken, this is one of hers.

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ±1.8k

tw: insecurity, bullying

please if you are having overly harmful thoughts about yourself, talk to a friend or a professional. you are perfect the way you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

it's so sad that the best people tend to think the worst of themselves

all the king's men

y/n, for lack of a better description, was feeling like humpty dumpty. she had seen herself in the mirror last night, and felt positively traumatised. she had come back from a quidditch practice session, and the results were quite terrifying.

she didn't understand. quidditch made the guys more toned and even a few of her teammates had abs. what did it do to her? well, it made her shoulders broad, which she thought was highly unattractive to anyone, and not at all slim! sure, it was fun and kept her fit, but terribly horrible, in her opinion, in trying to fit in to the beautiful girls that went to hogwarts.

she admired angie johnson and cho chang and ginny. she really did. y/n knew how hard it was to be beautiful, and she liked when other people were so beautifully beautiful. it just made her feel terrible, because what was the chance of her keeping her boyfriend in fred weasley when fiercely pretty girls were dancing elegantly around her?

there wasn't any time to be mopey and sad, so she gathered all her books and immediately went to breakfast. she didn't even bother going over to fred and greeting him. she saw how happy he was laughing with george and lee. surely she wouldn't bother him. instead she plopped down next to alicia.

"you ok?" alicia spinnet asked her.

she nodded, "fine."

"you sure?"

"no."

"wanna talk about it?"

"do you think it's too early to get plastic surgery?" y/n joked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"what the fuck, no. what's up?" alicia's eyes were lit with concern.

"i don't feel pretty," her voice was but a whisper.

alicia caught it.

"why? you're literally adorable."

"you're my best friend, you're supposed to tell me that."

"hmm, nah, i truly believe it."

"well i don't," y/n said miserably.

"oi, l/n, your hair down today?" adrian pucey snarled, "it's gonna give me aids."

a few students snorted.

"you can get aids then. shut your mouth," y/n retorted back.

the whole school look startled. was this the same, prefect, goody-two-shoes y/n l/n?

adrian pucey opened his mouth.

"i said shut. your. mouth."

fred weasley watched in a mixture of furiousness and pride. he knew that pucey had a crush on y/n too. he was just terrible in expressing it. fred didn't like the way y/n's eyes sadly flitted to alicia afterwards. and she hadn't come up to him and given him a kiss today. maybe she just wanted a bit of space??

"see?" y/n sighed, "not even my hair is pretty." she tied it up.

alicia laughed, "adrian just wants your attention."

that made y/n laugh. "why? why?" it was a rhetorical question. she got up, and smiled at adrian in the most menacing way that he shrunk.

"miss l/n, your outburst was quite rude-" snape began.

"my apologies professor, of course, i was in the wrong. adrian pucey brought the topic surrounding my hair up, called it ugly. now what would you do if a student called your hair ugly?" y/n said, eyes burning with fury but conscience too good to lose her temper.

"i-i would give them a scolding."

"likewise. good day, professor."

"fucking hell, he is such a sh-" alicia muttered as she got up and followed y/n out to class.

"ali, that's enough," their retreating voices could be heard.

fred kept his eye on y/n through the day, giving her the space he thought she needed.

she looked very like her normal self, until she encountered pucey again.

"l/n, nice squinty eyes," pucey laughed.

y/n's shoulders sagged. her eyes dimmed and she let her ponytail fall in front of her face.

"ponytail won't fix them," he laughed meanly, "can they fix your dumpling body?"

fred frowned deeply, "fuck off, adrian," he angrily said, "that's my girlfriend you're talking to."

"oh, you have someone like weasley to save you? i don't even think you deserve him as a boyfriend."

y/n didn't answer, fearing that tears would spill out of her eyes. she had just been feeling worse and worse about herself. instead, when the bell signalled the end of classes, she hurried quickly off to wherever, trying to pull herself together.

she felt like she was at the bottom of the earth. her eyes finally let go of the tears that needed to be spilt. she leant sobbing against a stout tree in the forbidden forest, head slumped gloomily against the trunk, eyes trying to find anything, anything, that could be remotely comforting and hands fiddling nervously with the flowers that bloomed happily around her. her whole body shook in anxiety. she wished she had her mum or dad here to help her. but they were back at home.

how did fred love her?

she wished she didn't have stupid hair or squinty eyes or a dumpling body. but she couldn't ignore the mean, yet so true, remarks about her body adrian made. they were morally wrong and he deserved to be stabbed, but they were factual. she used to just laugh and joke about him too, but now she realised that maybe she should pay more attention to the way she eats and works and the way she talks and looks and presents herself and put more makeup on and-

fred found her crying there, by the little pond, shrinking away from the mere sight of her own appearance. he didn't get it.

well, he did, but he didn't know why such a beautiful girl like his girlfriend was crying.

"y/n?"

she flinched and stopped crying.

"sorry, i'll leave. i don't think you want a dumpling of a girlfriend sharing this nice space," she attempted to joke, but it fell short. she wasn't joking anymore. her tone was serious and genuine. the unexpected good nature pucey's remarks were received in usually was gone, and for good reason. it had broken her into the tiniest little pieces.

fred felt it. he felt his heart stop.

"is this about what pucey said to you, lovely?" he asked gently, cupping her cheek, and pulling her close to him.

she nodded, feeling immensely better already. the smell of him made her calm down insanely.

"so you don't want space?"

"n-no, i was just..." she trailed off uncertainly.

"mhm?" he looked at her and waited.

"it's silly."

"well, it's got you crying, i don't think so."

"the stuff a-adrian says is true," her voice was quiet and small.

fred frowned.

"i'm not cute or elegant or even hot," she continued, "i-i'm not as pretty as anyone here."

"well, my little love, if my opinion even matters, you are stunning. i think you're the prettiest person in the world, both on skin and in here," he patted his own heart, "do you know how long i pined after you?"

"no?"

"i'm still pining after you, gorgeous."

"d-do you mean it when you say gorgeous?" her eyes were broken and teary.

"of course. it hurts me when you are upset. because you are gorgeous and much more because you are so nice and good to me and to everyone else too. pucey's a complete shithead and when i next see him i will bash his head in. i'm so sorry i didn't notice, love, i thought you were mad at me."

"no it's fine, i just don't understand. you're fred weasley. so many girl's want you and you-you choose...me?," a sad frown was etched on her face, her tone confused.

"y/n, you're my only choice. i don't want the other girls. i can see the appeal of you. i-i know i'm not the best with words like you, but i really care about you. i love you, i adore you, you're the bestest person i've ever met."

and he knows he's brought the happiness back in her. she giggled. he felt relieved, because he knew he wasn't good at all at comforting people and y/n was so special to him- why didn't he say that earlier to her?

"bestest isn't a word, freddie."

"well you get what i mean, right? you're really special to me," there it was.

she nodded slowly, a small smile forming on her lips as she kissed him on the lips, before snuggling closer to him.

"darling, wouldn't you rather go back to the castle to cuddle?"

hesitantly, she shook her head.

"why?"

"'drian's there."

"adrian cannot hurt you, okay? whatever he tells you is wrong. he's wrong," he gently says, pulling her close to him, "besides, if he does, i'm here, and you're strong."

"i just cried about it, i can't be strong."

"crying doesn't mean you're weak, darling, sometimes we all cry and that's okay."

y/n nodded.

"here, i brought this for you, maybe it's a comfort??" he blushed as he handed her his quidditch hoodie.

she grinned and put it on.

he couldn't stop blushing at the sight of her, so he tilted his face away to save himself the embarrassment.

noticing and mistaking his turned away head for disgust, y/n took the hoodie off, downcastedly handing it back to him.

"sorry," she gave a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as fred looked at her in confusion.

"y-you can have it back, yeah, there's no need to hide your shame, here, s-sorry," she stuttered out.

"shame?" he asked, looking worriedly down at her.

"mhm," she fiddled with the hem of her shirt, "sorry."

he finally understood.

"angel, look at me."

she reluctantly looked up at him.

"i wasn't feeling disgusted at all. i-i was actually embarrassed because i was blushing," his cheeks heated up again, "like i probably am right now. you're too beautiful. i was blushing too much."

"oh."

"yeah. now put it back on," he demanded, as he cheekily tugged the jumper over her head, blushing again as he saw her standing there in his jumper.

"c'mon!" he said, carrying y/n's school bag as they made their way to the castle, his arm wrapped protectively around his waist and the bright gold letters on the back of his sweater shining for anyone and everyone to see.

they didn't see pucey, thank goodness and they ended up talking with george and katie bell and angie and alicia by the fire.

as y/n smiled and giggled with katie over something highly scandalous, fred had his eyes on her, not so much monitoring her, but he couldn't keep them off of her.

when he had noticed her words start to become short and slightly slurred by tiredness, he lead her back to her dormitory.

"feeling better princess?"

she nodded, "you're so good to me, freddie. i love you."

it made his heart swell with happiness.

"i'd go to the moon and back for you, y/n."

she smiled drowsily, "and i, you."

[lorirwritesfanfic]

In Bloom

Author's note: All characters are owned by Pixelberry Studios. Book: Rules of Engagement x The Royal Romance Pairing: Leo Rys x Hana Lee Rating: T Word count: 2229 Reading time: ~9min Summary: After their first date, Leo and Hana have a hard time trying to sleep. Based on the music prompt: Green Aphrodisiac

Leo shut the door to his bedroom, kicked off his shoes and slumped on the bed. Shifting on the bed to lie on his back, he stared at the ceiling and smiled to himself, feeling like a teenager who had the first kiss with the girl of his dreams.

As he took a deep breath, the scent of her perfume wafted from his garments. It smelled like flowers but it was also sweet, reminding him of spring mornings. Was it roses? Lilies? He didn't know for sure. But the lack of information didn't stop a grin from spreading across his lips. For now, he'd just call it her scent.

It was a bit late and he was somewhat inebriated, so he didn't bother to change clothes. In fact, he simply didn't want to. How could he if her scent exuded from them? He couldn't stop thinking about her. And he could barely believe it was happening again, but in his heart he knew. If it was up to him, that date night would've never ended.

Three hours earlier

Leo supported his chin on one hand and gazed at Hana. Her laughter reverberated in the walls as he told her one of childhood memories. Much like her, her laughter was jovial, delicate, but so much more carefree than he had ever seen before.

"I can't believe you put a real tarantula on Lord Neville's bag."

"You didn't see the look on Liam's face when that prick stole his kite during the competition and then broke it."

"Well, that's really cruel."

"I couldn't agree more," he said, placing his wine glass back on the table. "When I heard about his obsession with Spider-man, I couldn't resist. And if you think about it, I did him a favor. If the spider bit him, his wish would come true."

The lady giggled.

"Of course, the mind of an eleven-year-old kid couldn't have foreseen the consequences. My mother grounded me for a week."

"Oh..."

"She was being kind, actually. Father wanted my punishment to last a month. But she convinced him that my intentions were to defend my brother and to teach Lord Neville a lesson about respect."

"She sounds like a persuasive woman."

"She was a pro at negotiations. That's one of the many traits Liam took after her. Of course she was still a good mother and wouldn't let me go unpunished."

"It makes sense. Do you regret it?"

"A little. But just because of the spider. The poor animal deserved better than to bite Neville."

"I think so too."

As she lifted her glass of wine to her lips, he gazed at her intently. He wasn't trying to be subtle, but it also didn't make her feel like a prey, as some people would say about him. It seemed like he was entranced by her.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Do you think you have gone through with any marriage your parents set up for you?"

"No," she answered without thinking twice. "Before I met Jade and the guys, I would have. Regardless of how I felt about them, I would have tried to make it work, like I tried during my engagement with Peter. But after everything I went through and witnessing Liam and Jade together, no. I couldn't do it."

Leo nodded with an approving smile. "It's hard to look at them together and not want that for yourself."

"Exactly. You know how it feels, right?"

"In a way..." He replied, scratching his chin and jaw as he thought about it. "Falling in love is a beautiful thing. Marrying that someone feels like a dream come true. But marriage is a lot of work."

"So that's something you don't see yourself doing again?"

"Oh, I don't know... I can't say that. Who can say what's going to happen tomorrow?"

Hana nodded in silence, pondering about his answer.

"You can ask again."

"Excuse me?" Her brows furrowed.

"If you still have any questions to ask, you can."

"Oh! That..." She simpered. "Really?"

"Yeah. Give me your best shot."

"Okay..." Hana squinted her eyes, taking a moment to think about her question. Then she cleared her throat. "How did you know you were in love?"

A slow smile spread on his lips as he thought about her question. "I can't tell for sure. I guess I realized I was in love when I couldn't stay away from her. Katie was seeing other guys at the time. I was engaged to Madeleine and had a few casual hookups. But the only face I yearned to see was Katie's."

"It kinda sounds like the definition of passion."

"It does. Back then, I thought it wasn't that deep. So I thought about putting some distance between us. I suddenly felt too tied down. But the next day, I found myself searching for her. Then, out of nowhere, I was talking to someone at the cruise ship she was on to join the trip. I didn't even care about these other guys she was seeing then. I needed to see her, talk to her sometimes, watch her smile. It didn't matter if she was going to choose someone else to be her partner. I just needed her in my life."

"That was when you realized it," Hana concluded.

"Exactly. But it feels and it manifests differently for each person. I'm sure you feel something else about it."

"Well, I wouldn't know..." She hesitated for a moment, but she spoke again. "I haven't felt anything as intense as this about anyone before."

Leo nodded and took a sip of his wine.

"I know it's embarrassing..." Hana looked down at her hands.

"It isn't. The only time I fell in love I was a few years older than you are. You have your whole life to fall in love."

"I guess you're right. I haven't even figured if I—" Her went wide and she stopped herself.

"If you what?"

"I— I don't think I'm..." Her heart raced inside her chest as she searched for the right words. "I never said this out loud."

"You can whisper it to me if you want to," he joked.

A small chuckle escaped her lips, but soon her whole body grew tense again.

"It's alright, Hana."

She took a deep breath and said. "Straight."

"Interesting." A corner of his mouth quirked up. "So... What letter of LGBTQ+ are you?"

"I thought I was a lesbian because I mostly felt attracted to women, but as I thought about, I'm attracted to people in general. It doesn't happen as often as it does with women, but it definitely happens."

"I've heard about that. Bisexual spectrum, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I didn't take you for someone who would be familiar with the terminology."

"And why is that?"

"Because most people don't."

She seemed calm, but something about her eyes told him there was more to it.

"I see." He nodded. "I don't know much. I just do my best to be respectful."

"That's a good start." A timid but genuine smile appears on her lips.

"I'm glad to hear it. So..." He shifted in his seat, moving closer. "Is there anything else I should know about you?"

"I don't think so..." Hana averted her gaze as she tucked her behind her ear. "I'm still figuring out so much about myself."

His hand slowly moved across the table and reached for hers. "I hope you let me be a part of your journey of self discoveries."

Her cheeks flushed, but she replied without hesitation. "I'll be happy to include you in it."

A blues ballad filled the hair with its soft melody as a few drops of lotus flower oil ran down Hana's neck. With precise and firm strokes, she massaged her skin then moved down to her shoulders and collarbone.

She then proceeded to moisturize her bust, but she didn't pay much attention to her nightly routine. Her mind was lost in memories and emotions she didn't fathom. However, those weren't emotions she had to comprehend. Perhaps, for once, all she had to do was to feel.

One hour earlier

The night had deepened when Leo and Hana walked down the hallway leading to her bedroom. Yet, neither of them seemed to be in a rush. With slow steps and occasional stops to look out the window or steal glances at each other, they talked about all sorts of topics they could think of. The eagerness to learn any detail was clear, even if they didn't realize it at the moment.

"I did see pictures of Monsieur St. Claire's fashion show in a random magazine. Now I regret not attending the event." Leo made a face.

"You didn't miss much. There were Jade and her corgi, of course. They were just marvelous on the catwalk. The crowd couldn't take their eyes off them."

"Yes, she looked beautiful and I'm going to say no to nice dog pictures. But it's a shame there weren't more pictures of you in the magazine."

"Oh, I don't know if I'd want so much attention to myself." Hana shook her head, wrinkling her nose at the thought.

"I see you have no intention to be in the spotlight."

"I really don't."

"I guess we have another trait in common," he said, giving her a lopsided grin.

"The tabloids love to chase you down and you have many fans."

"It's been an occupational hazard that follows me since I was the crown prince. If I could be as popular as any other of my teammates, I'd be fine. I just wouldn't have as many sponsors as I do now."

"So you like the attention." Hana gave him a knowing look.

"It does have its perks. If it weren't for my sponsors, I wouldn't have moved back to Cordonia as fast as I did."

"Maybe your place is in the spotlight, Leo," she concluded as they stopped at the door to her bedroom.

"Oh, I don't think so, my lady," he said, moving closer to her until her body was pressed against the wall. "Being in the shadows has so many advantages," he whispered, his lips just a breath away from hers. "Don't you agree?"

Her stomach fluttered at the proximity to him and she feared for a moment that her legs would give out if she didn't have the door as support. "Uh-huh..."

He then lifted one of her hands to his lips and kissed it. "Have a good night, Hana."

Her heart sank. Is that all? Really? Maybe she was reading too much between the lines and he wasn't that interested. Despite the many questions she had in her mind of what could have possibly gone wrong to make him leave with a mere chaste kiss on her knuckles, there wasn't much she could do.

"Good night to you too."

With that, he stepped away from her and watched her walk inside before.

Once she closed the door, she leaned against it and slid down, trying to replay the entire night in her mind and figure out what she could have done differently. Just then, a firm and hurried knock startled her.

By the knock, she could just assume it was Drake. Or Maxwell. He was always eager to talk whenever he had an epiphany. Standing up, she smoothed her hair and dress and plastered her best but insincere smile before opening the door.

"Yes?"

To her surprise, it was Leo. He seemed to be somewhat distressed, as if something bothered him.

"I'm sorry to bother you soon, Hana."

"It's no problem. Is everything okay?"

"No. It isn't. I hope you forgive me because this just can't wait."

"Oh?"

Before she could ask, he pulled her by the waist and their lips crashed. Slowly at first, exploring, savoring the taste of each other. Then it grew hungry, needy, lustful. His lips trailed down a path to neck, inhaling her scent, sucking her flesh. His hands tugged at the back of her dress. For a moment, she almost believed he would rip it off. He probably could do it if he wanted to.

Her head lolled back as his mouth reached the cleavage of her dress, giving attention to the exposed part of her breasts. Her fingers dig into his sand blond hair, pulling him as close as possible. The only distance between them was the physical barrier created by the layers of fabric of their clothes. Yet, she needed more closeness. Did he want her as much as he wanted him?

His lips traveled back up, capturing hers in another searing kiss before he pulled away. "I couldn't go back to my room and sleep knowing I missed the chance of kissing you goodnight," he whispered.

"I didn't think you wanted to kiss me."

"On the contrary. This was all I could think about," he murmured between kisses. "I want this moment to be engraved in your mind until we can do it again."

"Your mission is accomplished then," she breathed.

"Good." He pulled apart with a smile. "I'll see you in the morning, Hana."

"I'm looking forward to it."

With a grin she couldn't contain, she watched him walk away and eventually look back at her to wink until he finally entered his own room.

Inside their rooms, the two laid in bed, still unable to sleep, lost in thoughts. Neither of them knew for sure the aftereffects their date had on each other. They simply hoped the feeling was mutual. Little did they know it was.

[chaeryybomb]

“brick walls” || l.dh

anon: idk how to do these but I’ve had a story idea for a while 🥺👉🏽👈🏽. Y/n has an emotional breakdown at a party and asks best friend ! Haechan to drive her home (idk why she’s having a breakdown but I very much like angst🥺

pairing: lee donghyuck/lee haechan x reader

featuring: seo yoorim and mark lee

genre: best friends to lovers, high school!au, angst, fluff, we going sad boi hours y’all

warnings: mental breakdown, curse words, usage of alcohol

word count: 4K

a/n: dhshdhd I am SO SO SO SORRY that I took a long ass time to finish this, again I’m really sorry fhshd pls don’t hate me

You were never the kind to let your walls down. You had a stone wall surrounding a kingdom that was your heart, the sole place that stored your emotions. But of course, that wall was never there to begin with. It started out as pebbles surrounding it, which soon turned into bricks, and the older you got, the higher the wall started to build.

You would never admit it, but deep down, you blamed your parents for making you turn out like this. All those arguments and discouraged words tore you down as a kid, so you learned to deflect those words to be stronger. Still they were your parents. Sure they were bad at some aspects, but they had their golden moments. They did raise you and gave you home. Your family was broken, and you learned how to live with it.

Donghyuck was a different kind. He was always smiling and happy. He was literally the sun. The mood maker, the class clown, he made people feel better. You were someone who was quiet and barely smiled. Rain clouds followed you wherever you went whereas Donghyuck made flowers grow on the ground he walked. He was also the sun that made your dark clouds go away.

You were a different person when you’re with Donghyuck. He made you laugh and smiled wider than anyone ever did. Whenever someone asked him how he could be friends with someone like you, he always replied with the same thing with no hesitation.

“You don’t know them like I do.”

Donghyuck was your getaway. Your door to another dimension. His presence made all your worries go away. He meant everything to you. You wished you could tell him that.

It’s obvious that he has feelings for you, so painfully obvious. The way he stared at you like you were his world. The way he subconsciously holds your hand in his every time you’re together. You were on his mind twenty four seven.

You chose to ignore his feelings. You knew it was selfish for you to do so. You thought if you pretended that you didn’t know that he was in love with you, and just continued to be best friends, everything would be fine. No one would get hurt.

Did you feel the same? Of course you did. You love him so much that it physically pains you knowing that you’ll never be good enough for him. He was sunshine and rainbows, you were raindrops and thunderstorms. You knew that it wouldn’t work out between the both of you, you couldn’t even love yourself. How could you love someone else?

It was unfair to you and Donghyuck. You knew you couldn’t keep leading him on, one day, Donghyuck was going to confess to you and you’d have to face the harsh reality of rejecting him. But you never expected that day to come so soon.

You and Donghyuck were in his car, the both of you were driving back from your weekly movie nights in the local theatre. Donghyuck had Conan Gray’s newest album playing from his radio. You had no objections to his music choice, a few months ago, the honey-skinned boy managed to convince you to listen to Conan Gray’s discography.

When he finally reached your home, he parked outside of your driveway and turned to look at you. You were busy getting your bag off the floor to notice, when you were done, you turned to bid him goodbye but caught him staring at you with a familiar look. The same look he always had when he was with you, he looked like he was in love.

You knew he was going to take advantage of the situation to confess to you. You needed to get out of the vehicle. You had too. Your fingers gripped the door handle but his voice caught you off guard.

“Y/N...” his voice was as soft as silk, he gently grabbed your arm so you were facing him again.

You tilted her head, looking at him with those innocent eyes of yours, yet behind that mask was a pair of panicked eyes. His hands moved until he was holding yours and he started to play with your fingers.

“You’re amazing, you know that right?” He started off. His eyes were trained on your intertwined hands. “You’re beautiful, smart, and strong. I wished you could believe me whenever I tell you how perfect you are,” he slid off one of his silver rings and placed it on your index finger. Your breath hitched at the action. He finally lifted his head up to look at you in the eye, love surrounded his brown irises.

“I like you— no, I love you. I love you, L/N Y/N.”

And there it was. The words you dreaded to hear. The cold air from the car’s air conditioner pricked your bare arms as you shakily pulled your hand out of his, the silver ring easily slid off your fingers and you heard it drop into the cup holder. You watched his face morph into confusion.

“No,” your voice wavered as you closed your eyes. “No, you don’t,” you opened your eyes and repeated. This time your voice was firm.

Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows. “Yes, yes I do, Y/N. I love y—“

“Stop!” You pressed your hands to your ears. “Stop saying that! You don’t love me.”

He reached over to grab your hands but you flinched backwards. Your back was now pressed into the window as Donghyuck stared at you with a different look this time. His eyes had a thin shield of tears, the look of love was gone and replaced with hurt and disbelief.

“D-Don’t say that, I do love you. I love you so much, Lia,” he tried again.

“No, you don’t, Donghyuck. You...you can’t.”

“Why not, Y/N? I love you! Is that not enough?!”

“Because I don’t!” You spat. Your breathing was heavy and your eyes were filled with tears. But you looked Donghyuck in the eye and said it again. “Because I don’t love you.”

The two of you stared at each other in silence, with tension rising every second. And finally a stray tear escaped from Donghyuck. That was the final movement for you to swing the door open and run into your house. You couldn’t bear to stay in that car any longer, you couldn’t stand the sight of seeing him sad, broken like you.

You slammed your bedroom door shut, ignoring your parents confused faces, ignoring everything. Your back was against the wooden door. It was official. You broke the school’s sunshine, you broke your best friend, you pushed the boy you loved away. You choked out a sob, and soon the tears flowed down your cheeks. You covered your whimpers and sobs with your hand and closed your eyes.

There was no turning back this time. It was done. You rejected him and you saw how the tears formed and how he flinched when you said you didn’t love him. You lied to him. You cried yourself to sleep that night, knowing that no one else in the world, loved you anymore.

It had been weeks since his confession. Haechan didn’t go to school for 4 days. When he returned, he acted like nothing ever happened and that he was still the same old happy go lucky boy. The only difference was, he stopped approaching you.

He stopped waiting by your locker in the morning with a cup of coffee in his hand, he stopped sitting with you at the cafeteria, he stopped yelling your name from across the hall. He didn’t even spare a glance at you when you crossed paths in school. You convinced yourself that it was better this way. It was bound to happen anyways, no one ever really stays forever.

Of course news spread fast that you and Haechan were no longer the duo. Haechan never denied nor confirmed that you stopped being friends so the students took it upon themselves to say what they wanted to hear.

“Did you hear? Haechan confessed to Y/N last week and they straight up rejected him!”

“I heard they laughed at his confession and called him an idiot.”

“They’re such a heartless bitch. How could they treat someone like that?”

“Right? Haechan was going to leave them sooner or later. They never deserved him.”

At first the words were like a knife being stabbed into you, but you soon let yourself turn numb to them. The rumors weren’t true. You never laughed at him, yet your mind mocked you.

They’re right, you are a heartless bitch. You don’t deserve him.

Today was not a good day for you. Fridays seem to always suck for you. It started out with the little things in the morning, you overslept and was almost late for school. Your parents were arguing over something petty that they barely noticed you slipped past the door. Since you were late, the bus had already left, so you were left with no choice but to sprint to school.

You barely made it to school in time and luckily you reached before the final bell. But you were then sweaty and the thick blazer you were required to wear was not helping. Later during lunch, someone accidentally bumped into you and split their drink all over your white button-up. You desperately tried to rub the stain off, but with no avail, there was now an orange stain on your uniform. And you knew for a fact that your mother was going to give her an earful for staining it.

And you were right, the moment you stepped into your household, you could feel the tension left over from this morning. Your mother noticed the big stain immediately. One thing led to another, and it turned into an (another) argument. Your mother started accusing you of not caring enough about anything.

She was still yelling when you slammed your bedroom door shut. You let yourself fall against the door with your palms pressed against your ears, trying to drone the yelling out. Your mother was right, you don’t care, you stopped caring. Oh, how you wished you cared.

Honestly, you didn’t know how you let Yoorim convince you to come to this party. Not to mention you were underage and you didn't drink alcohol. You spent most of your days wallowing in self pity. Everywhere you went, you heard Haechan’s laughter ring through your ears. Yoorim was the only one other than Haechan who annoyed her way into your small personal bubble. The tall girl dragged you to a party thrown by some college students to “help you get over Haechan”.

Sweaty bodies and loud music filled the atmosphere, the stench of alcohol floated around you. The party scene made you sick and dizzy. It hasn’t been 30 minutes and you already regret your decision. Sighing, you pushed yourself off the kitchen counter you had been leaning against since you arrived and went off to find the one who dragged you here. You mentally lectured yourself, what were you thinking? Yoorim was a wild spirit, obviously she wouldn’t be there babysitting you. As you pushed past the bodies of drunk teenagers, you started to feel bad about finding Yoorim.

But you had already caught the taller girl in your field of vision. There she was, playing beer pong. The small crowd cheered loudly when the orange ball went in the red solo cup. You shook your head, maybe you shouldn’t disturb Yoorim. Walking home was always an option. Just as you were about to turn back, Yoorim called out your name.

“Y/N! Over here!”

You grimaced but still obeyed nevertheless. Yoorim threw her arm around your neck, her height giving her the advantage to basically head lock you. You looked up to see Yoorim’s cheeks to be tinted pink. She was already drunk. You tried to balance yourself but found it hard due to the other swaying around in her steps as she tried to aim at the cup.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar mop of black hair. You squint your eyes at the sight. When the figure turned around, your eyes met. You froze and your eyes widened.

Mark Lee, Haechan’s best friend.

What was he doing here? Judging by Mark’s expression, he must know about what happened between Haechan and you. Mark had a sad look on his face, it was sympathy. He gave you a sad smile and small wave but you were still frozen in place. The loud cheers slowly drone out of your ears.

If Mark was here, does that mean he was here too?

As you struggled in Yoorim’s hold, you tried to crane your neck to find the familiar face. Anxiety starts to fill you up, what if he was actually here? You can’t face him. You didn't know how. You avoided each other like the plague, whispers of others followed the two of you like a trail of blood. What were you going to do if you saw him? Would the people here start whispering too?

And suddenly, you felt the stares of others on you. A million pairs of eyes fixated on your trembling figure. Their faces were blurred but they’re mouths were moving. They were talking about you, spreading rumors about her. Everyone was pointing their fingers at you.

You squeezed your eyes shut and your grip tightened on Yoorim’s arm. You couldn’t breath. You didn’t know what overcame you, but with one powerful tug, you dragged Yoorim out of that crowd. Ignoring the confused stares of others and Yoorim’s protest, you dragged her until you were somewhere quiet. When the noise died down in your head, you finally let go of Yoorim's arm.

“What the fuck, Y/N?!” Yoorim yelled at you. But you couldn’t hear anything. Your back was facing her and your hands were pressed against your ears, an action that became a habit. Tears swelled up around your eyes and you kept blinking to push them away.

You were then forcefully turned around by the taller girl. Yoorim's eyes were burning with anger at your unexplained actions. Maybe it was the alcohol that clouded her vision but she didn't notice how your eyes had a veil of tears over them.

"What was that for?!" she demanded. "We were having so much fun and y—"

"I want to go home, Yoorim."

Yoorim stopped mid sentence and stared at you in disbelief. "Go home? Y/N it hasn't even been an hour yet—"

"I said, I want to go home!" you repeat yourself through gritted teeth. You clenched your fists at your sides as you looked Yoorim in the eye.

Yoorim narrowed her eyes at you. "No, Y/N. You don't get to go home. I took you out so you can relax and shit but right now you're just ruining everything! What the fuck is wrong and why won't you fucking tell me?!"

"I—"

"You always do the same shit. You run away from your problems and you push anyone who wants to help you away! Do you know how exhausting it is to keep up with you?! I tried so hard to be your friend but in the end you still push me away. This is why Haechan left you!" Yoorim gasped and she immediately slapped her hands over her mouth. Her outburst seemed to sober her up. You stood there with your eyes wide opened in shock and lips slightly parted as you soaked in Yoorim's words.

"I— I'm so sorry, I…I didn't me—" Yoorim stuttered out. She reached forward for you but you jerked backward. With every step she took, your feet moved back. You shook your head. You felt the tears finally falling down and with that you turned on your heel and ran.

"Y/N!" you heard Yoorim call out but you didn't look back.

Tears blurred your vision as you tried to navigate your way through the crowded house. Small "excuse me"s left your lips as you pushed past everyone. You had to get out of the house. You couldn't break down right there in front of everyone. Yoorim's words still echoed in your head.

You run away from your problems and you push everyone away.

Do you know how exhausting it is to keep up with you?

This is why Haechan left you!

No, no, Yoorim didn't mean it. She's drunk. She was intoxicated. She wasn't thinking straight. She wasn't sober.

But the drunk mind speaks from the sober heart.

And it was true. All you did was run and run away. You never face your problems. You couldn't face Haechan after rejecting him. You never confronted your parents. You never tried to clear the rumors about you. You thought that hiding away behind her four walls could save you.

And Haechan was the one picking your walls down with a stone pickaxe. When you saw how your walls started to crumble, panic rose inside. You started to patch the holes made by him. You didn't want him to see how broken you really were. You couldn't let all your burdens onto him. You had to let him go.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't notice you bumped into someone. "Sorry," you whispered and withdrew yourself.

"Y/N?"

Your eyes snap up to the owner of the voice.

Mark.

Mark looked at you with a worried look. He gently grabbed your shoulders to balance you. "Y/N, are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone.

You shook your head and reluctantly shoved Mark away. You stumbled in your steps as tears continued to gather around your eyes.

"Y/N, Y/N! Wait up!" Mark called out but the wall of dancing bodies blocked him from getting to you.

You finally found the door and your face was greeted with the cold wind of the night. You gasped as you stumbled out of the house. You walked down the stairs of the porch and crouched down. Your hand was over your heart as you breathed in heavily. Fresh tears still stained your cheeks and there was a heavy ringing in your ear.

You slid down against the white porch, sucking in short breaths. Your hand found your phone in your back pocket and dialed the first number that came to mind. You wanted to go home and do nothing but curl up in a ball and cry.

You raised the phone to your ear. "Please pick up, please pick up," you whispered to yourself.

"Hello?"

He picked up. He actually picked up. It has been weeks since you heard his voice. Oh god, how you missed hearing it.

"—llo? Y/N?"

"D-Donghyuck?" your voice was hoarse, it was barely a whisper. You didn't even know how you managed to say his name within your shortened breaths.

The moment he heard your strangled voice, he was suddenly alerted. "Y/N? What's wrong? Are you crying? Are you okay?"

You felt another wave of the blues washed over you. Tears started to fall and you let out a choke. "I-I'm s-s-sorry, Hyu—ck," you hiccuped.

You could barely blabber out formed sentences, let alone words. All you repeated was "I'm sorry" as you sobbed to Donghyuck through the phone.

Donghyuck's heart clenched at the sound of your cries. "Hey, hey," he softly called out for you. "Where are you? I'm going to come get you, okay?"

"I-I don't k-know, some pa-party with M-Mark. I-I-I don't know w-where, I'm sorry," you sniffled.

"Hey it's okay, stop saying sorry. Stay on the phone with me okay?" You could hear his keys jiggling from the other side. You nodded at his words as he kept continuing to talk to her. "I'm here for you, Y/N."

The entire car ride back to Donghyuck’s place was silent. He didn’t say anything and the only sounds that came from you were your sniffles. But he kept a hand on your right knee the entire time, the action gave you a sense of comfort.

He wordlessly let you into his house, thankfully his parents were out of town. You didn’t need more people to question your tear-stricken face. Donghyuck told you to take a shower and he’ll prepare some food for you. When you emerged from the bathroom, your face now cleaned and hair damped. A set of his clothes were neatly placed on his bed for you.

It was your favorite hoodie of his that you would “borrow” from time to time and a pair of grey sweatpants. His clothes were big on you, but it made you feel safe, like a warm blanket being wrapped around your thin frame.

Donghyuck knocked on the door and asked from the other side, “Can I come in?”

Your lip twitched into a small smile at his question. You found it sweet that he was asking permission into his bedroom. You replied with a soft “yes” and the door opened, revealing Donghyuck with a bowl of ramen.

He set the bowl at his desk and the two of you were now facing each other. Awkwardness filled the atmosphere. You didn’t know what to say and Donghyuck couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. You stood in silence, the awkward tension was suffocating.

“I-“

“I’m sorry,” the words flew out of your mouth before he could say anything. “I’m sorry about the other night in your car. I lied,” you confessed. The tears were starting to build up again and your gaze never left the carpeted floor. You took his silence as a sign to continue.

“I’m...I’m sorry that I pushed you away. I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love you, Hy—Donghyuck,” you winced when you stopped yourself from calling him “Hyuck”. That nickname was for close friends, and you were almost strangers. It didn’t feel fitting for you to use.

You took in a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry,” you repeated for the nth time of the night. “I-I do love you, but you don’t deserve me. I’m broken a-and messed up. You deserve better,” you finally raised her head to look at him with your glassy eyes.

His expression was unreadable. You’ve never seen it before. You squeezed your eyes shut, your hands fisting at the sides of the hoodie as you anticipated his next movements. You heard his soft footsteps advancing towards you.

You quietly gasped when Donghyuck wrapped his arms around your shoulder, pulling you in for an embrace. He raised his left hand to stroke your head, gently resting it against his collarbones. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he softly said, “I forgive you.”

Those three words hit you like a train and the tears came flooding out once again. You buried your face in his shoulder and your hands clenched at the back of his shirt. Donghyuck held you as you cried, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. He let you cry out until there were no more tears in your system, until he was sure that the walls surrounding your cold heart would be weakened.

You spent most of your time building up brick walls around your heart. You spent years feeling numb and putting up a tough facade. Donghyuck spent most of his time breaking down those walls. He spent his days poking at your heart until it was beating again. You never felt loved and he made sure that he loved you until his very last breath. And for once in forever, you didn’t mind getting your walls taken down.

[with-love-anu]

The One

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: You set up Sirius with someone for the ball but end up falling for him instead.

Warnings: Nothing I could find! It’s pinning and fluff.

Word Count: 1,688

(Y/n) and Sirius were sitting in front of the fireplace, basking in its warmth. Others, being exhausted had left long ago. (Y/n) laid her head on Sirius’s chest, talking to him softly. The conversation went from homework to pranks to professors before finally landing on the upcoming ball.

“Wait! What do you mean no-one?” (Y/n) asked sitting up.

“I mean I am taking no one to the ball” Sirius shrugged.

“But, why?” she questioned. He, of all people wouldn’t bring a date?

“Well, I want to take someone I actually like.”

“Okay… and the problem is…” she prompted.

Sirius sighed. He looked straight ahead into the fireplace. (Y/n) didn’t want to push him. So, they stayed quiet for a while.

“I-“ he hesitated. (Y/n) looked at him waiting for him to continue.

“Everyone I’ve been with until now has been… well attracted to just my looks. I mean I know people like the way I look or am but…” he paused taking a deep breath. “The thing is they don’t like me. They like the idea of me. No-one, believe me no-one likes me for me. I saw James going with Lily, Dorcas and Marlene and I just… I am not jealous, I am happy for them, but I. I can’t have that. I don’t want to go with someone because of the way they think I look. Because why else anyone else want me?”

Sirius did not quite meet his friend’s eyes. He felt as if he didn’t deserve it, as if he wasn’t worthy of love like that. It was unlike him being vulnerable, but it was (Y/n). He always let his guard down around her.

“Heyyy, you know that’s not true!” she said softly. She did not know what caused the boy to think like that. He was after all one of the best people she knew. When he still didn’t seem to want to look at her she got an idea.

“You know what? I’ll help you find someone like that.” She said excitedly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Yeah, right.”

“Come on, you’ll never know if you don’t try!” she nudged him.

“And how the hell would you go about this?” Sirius asked as if she said something ridiculous.

“I know you Sirius. I’ll help you find that amazing person.”

“Fine. Let us see how you do it!” he said sarcastically but anyone could see the hope glimmer in his eyes.

“Fine.”

***

(Y/n) and Sirius were sitting at the very back of the history of magic class, talking in whispers.

“What about Selene?” (Y/n) asked. Sirius grimaced.

“I played a prank on her a while back making fireflies fly around her head, but didn’t know she was allergic to them. Pretty sure she wouldn’t do so look at me.”

(Y/n) snorted out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” he whisper-yelled.

“It very much is.” The girl said trying to hold back her giggles.

“Okay… Okay… what about Lee?” (Y/n) suggested after controlling herself.

“Quidditch rival, so a hard no.” Sirius said thoughtfully.

“Don’t you think, you know, it would make up for some tension.” She said air-quoting tension and winking at him. Sirius rolled his eyes.

The two of them remained silent for a while.

“Sirius what do you want in a person?” (Y/n) asked quietly looking at him. She thought she knew but he had always surprised her, so she had to ask.

“I don’t know. Is there something I am supposed to? What do you?”

“Well you must think of something when you think of love. Like I want someone I am comfortable with. I want them to hold my hand through my ups and downs. Listen to me rant.”

Sirius waited for (Y/n) to continue but she didn’t.

“That’s it? You don’t want dates and flowers and you know the gestures?” Sirius frowned.

“No. I want the person and his love.” (Y/n) shrugged. “What’s the use of doing all those things if there is no real connection between you? I mean sure those things are nice and all, but I don’t want a perfect relationship. I want butterflies in my stomach when I look at them.”

“Butterflies?��� he laughed.

(Y/n) smacked his shoulder lightly. She was sure he wasn’t going to drop it very soon.

***

(Y/n) pushed Sirius forward.

“Go!!!” she said widening her eyes.

“Are you sure? She seems a bit eccentric.” Sirius asked. (Y/n) sighed, rubbing her forehead.

“No. She is a lot like you. Just give her a chance.” She said. Emilia was a very sweet and charming Hufflepuff. Sirius would love her. Sirius huffed and finally moved to talk to her.

(Y/n) sat afar watching them. They seemed to get along. (Y/n) could see Sirius smile, not smirk, and she knew she was right. Then why was she so sad? She felt odd looking at them together. She couldn’t sit still. She tapped her foot, trying to concentrate on her book, but she couldn’t. All she could think about was Sirius and Emilia.

Sirius came back smiling. Somehow, for the first time she wasn’t as happy seeing it.

“So, how did it go?” she asked nonchalantly.

“Amazing, she is really nice. I can’t believe I never knew her. I-“

“Yeah, yeah I get it.” She huffed. Suddenly, she didn’t want to hear about the amazing Emilia anymore.

***

It took (Y/n) a week. A whole week to realize that she had fallen for Sirius. Someone, whom she herself set up with the girl she now didn’t like at all. It was painful, seeing Sirius so happy with Emilia. All she wanted to do now was somehow rip them apart. They went on study dates together, looking like the cutest couple and all (Y/n) could feel was her stomach twisting up in knots. Every time Sirius mentioned Emilia’s name, it felt like a knife through her heart. But, she couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t take away the happiness Sirius felt after such a long time.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked her.

“Umm… nothing? Why?”

“You look sad.” He asked concerned. (Y/n) forced a smile.

“I’m not” she said lightly.

“So, did you find the one?” he said smacking his shoulders into yours.

“The one?” you giggled.

“Well the imperfect person whom you’ll be happy; with him doing the most ordinary of things.” Sirius said making you laugh.

“Well, you think I am not asking for much but I am. I am asking to be the couple who you would see beside a shop walking hand in hand, happy and in love. I don’t want a hero, I don’t want an adventure but that doesn’t mean I am not asking for big things. I am asking for love in its most raw form. I want something which even though ordinary but is beautiful. Isn’t that the most people get?”

Sirius then looked at (Y/n) as if she was the ocean and he wanted to drown. She wished for such a simple yet priceless thing. She wasn’t like others whom he had been with. His heart surged. She looked so angelic sitting in the sunlight like that. And all of the sudden he wanted to be the one (Y/n) got those things from. All of a sudden, Emilia seemed like another one of his flings. Sirius gulped. Was he falling for his friend?

***

As days passed, it became more and more difficult for Sirius and (Y/n) to contain their realizations. The Yule ball was nearing and (Y/n) found herself dreading it. She did not want to see Sirius and Emilia together. It broke her enough to see them everyday; but in the ball dancing in each others arms? That would kill her.

“Sirius did you ask anyone yet?” Remus asked prompting him towards (Y/n). Sirius sighed. He did not know what to do. The person he actually loved didn’t love him back. It killed him. It really did. He had told all about it to James and Remus and they had constantly told him that (Y/n) felt the same way but there was no way he could ever believe that.

“No.” he answered. (Y/n) looked at Sirius.

“Why?” she asked.

“I don’t want to go with Emilia.”

“Why? What happened?” she asked as a sudden weight seemed to lift off her shoulders.

“I don’t like her that way. We are friends sure, but there’s nothing more” Sirius said sadly, if only the one he did like could see it.

(Y/n) tried hard not to smile widely. The thing that was crushing her inside had suddenly disappeared. Sirius did not miss how her face lit up. Were his friends true after all?

“Yeah. I met Lee. And I think we sort of connected.” Sirius smirked as he watched (Y/n)’s face fall.

“Oh.” She said. “Listen I need to go. I’ll see you later.” She said getting up.

Sirius grabbed her hand stopping her.

“Jealous much?” he said feeling his heart thump wildly. He smiled as he saw (Y/n)’s face go through a variety of emotions. He felt things becoming merrier around him every passing moment.

“Pftttt… Nooooo” she said unsure.

“(Y/n), look at me” he demanded.

(Y/n) felt heat crawl up her neck and face as she refused to meet his eyes.

“Look at me.”

She looked up to see Sirius looking at her softly.

“(Y/n)” he breathed. “I was kidding about Lee. I don’t like him”

“You were?”

“I… I like you. I wanted to see if you were jealous. And looking at you like that just made it worth it.“

(Y/n) smacked him. 

“You idiot. You made me feel like shit and you do stupid things like this.” She said as she slapped his chest lightly, overcome by emotions. Sirius grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him and kissed her. As they both pulled away breathless and light they smiled.

“I want to be everything you want. I want to love you forever, I want to-“ (Y/n) placed her hand over Sirius stopping him.

“Just hold me close and never let go.” She whispered. And that was how Sirius felt he found the one for him.

A/N: This was written for the very lovely @im-a-writer-right for her 2K celebration! Let me know what you think!

[nikittie]

taeyong’s love l.ty

warnings : cheating, it’s implied that they have sex, angst, kind of fluff ?

preview : “ this kiss was a conversation in which you’d say “i love you until i can’t.” because it was true. ”

wc : 1,2k

(repost)

pink is the color of love, most people draw hearts pink. although the heart of taeyong was transparent as you liked to say.

any shades of pinks were to your liking, the shade taeyong decided to dye his hair to suddenly made it to your all time favourite.

coincidentally you had just brought taeyong peonies the color of his hair, a sweet, soft and calming shade of pink.

and you bought them because you wanted to see him happy, it was all for him always for him.

you craved his attention after all.

taeyong’s adoration, intense, this man loved. he genuinely loved, as soon that you were the object of his desire there would be no mountain too high, nothing too expensive.

being liked by taeyong felt like being placed on a pedestal, he’d hold so much compassion in his eyes that it became almost unbearably sweet.

but it was never sweet enough, not for you.

only the lovely gestures you always longed to be directed towards you were destined to someone else, and it was the sad truth.

you were enamoured with a man that was engaged to someone who wasn’t you, “it’s alright, he deserves to be loved in the most purest way and if we weren’t meant to be then so be it.” your best friend donghyuck just brushed your remark off, he knew you weren’t really thinking that.

you clutched on the peonies, those who symbolised marriage, therefore meaning that you wished them well. but flowers are fragile, they get offered when they are still beautiful.

but they are short lived, no matter how much attention you give them and no matter how much you try, those very flowers you were so pleased to hold in your hands will perish the next day.. in a way you hoped this cruel faith represented their wedding.

taeyong’s eyes, the grandiose meeting of emotions and beauty. he could speak with his eyes and you made it your personal mission to read him like an open book.

as they landed on you his eyes were dark as they always were, he had one of those glares people would call intimidating. yet looking back to all the times you got lost in the immensity of his eyes, well you saw sparks.

he had this aura that would always be able to comfort you, just meeting his eyes in a room full of people had the power to reassure you that, yes indeed, life wasn’t that monstrous after all.

taeyong’s smile, beautifully handmade by the god’s themselves. you saw no imperfection on this man, but he did.. he had been told by his spouse that his smile was weird looking and that he had better putting on a serious facade.

therefore he smiled at you, without showing any teeth, his skin was pale, his bony fingers met yours softly to faintly caress your wrist. taeyong was gorgeous in this suit, it fitted him perfectly. he was perfection.

“are those for me or will you keep them to yourself?” and like that you let go of the flowers, he traced his fingers on your hands until they separated. thus marking the end of a story, the significance of this moment was crushing your soul.

but of course it was only for you to know.

you feared taeyong’s behaviour towards you would change, but months later you still found yourself entangled in his arms. it truly was harmless, your palm found it’s home on his cheek. taeyong’s skin was soft, it was just as if it has been untouched, unblemished until now.

it almost felt indecent to touch it.

“taeyong, i have held you in my heart for so long.” you had adorned a smile, honestly, your feelings for him were as strong as when they first developed.

his vision was settled on the vase by the table, his wife had conveniently bought them pink. peonies. as if trying to guilt for desiring an another woman.

“i thought i would be able to forget about you, y/n. but you see, i am infatuated with you.” you stood up from your previous position, had lee taeyong really just said those words or was it your fantasies again.

maybe it was just a dream, well it felt like one. his pink hair fell against his forehead messily for you’ve just played with it, taeyong used the hand that has been resting on your waist until now to pull you impossibly closer.

taeyong’s scent, musk, strong with a tint of undescribable sweetness. you inhaled deeply trying to get more of it, it was like nicotine and you were the smoker.

addicted to every part of him.

you had picked his perfume years ago, without realising he’d keep it for so long. you had only gifted it to him on his birthday thinking he wouldn’t even enjoy it that much. but apparently he did.

he most likely enjoyed everything when it came to you. so why’d he go to someone else?

because his wife belonged to the bourgeoisie, and so did taeyong, and so did you not.

yet right now did didn’t matter, nothing did. only you and him and as you bent towards, soon his lips caressed the side of your lips before completely meeting them.

it was a moment that showed pure emotions, it wasn’t about touching each other nor feeling each other.. no this kiss was a conversation in which you’d say “i love you until i can’t.” because it was true, as soon that anyone came by everything was to die.

it was exhilarating to tell yourself that the man you had always fancied was right in front of you right now, you held his hand in yours as if proving yourself this moment was real.

squeezing once, twice, he squeezed your hand back.. it was real.

taeyong’s hands, they had always been warm, his fingers always found their way to you. his hands weren’t so soft but as your fingertips adoringly trailed through them it felt like the softest cloud, the nicest dream.

“taeyong,” you huffed for air, there was a moment of silence. taeyong’s free hand roamed from your waist to your chin, it felt so wrong yet so right.

the man had a wife about to come back home at any moment and somehow it felt like a part of the game, but you had always wished she’d never come back. that maybe she could find someone and run away with them.

“y/n.” and thus you fell right back into each other, there was no room for worries when you were with taeyong.

“taeyong, taeyong..” a call of his name would slip out of your mouth between each kisses that would go down his body a little more everytime, his neck, collarbones, chest. it was gorgeous, he was a work of art and you had always made sure he knew it.

taeyong’s body, a long, suave poetry written on a man.

a story that was yours to write as long that taeyong was by your side, because he was yours for the night.

as selfish as it may be you wanted him to yourself, you needed to steal his very essence, the one that set his soul on fire when he saw you. the taste of him was the most addictive nectar.

his wife would come back home as usual and life would go on, but your life wasn’t the same ever since you met taeyong.

and you craved the only thing you thought you couldn’t reach, the most forbidden wish you had was for taeyong to be all yours until the end of times and beyond.

taeyong’s love, well after all, you put a name on it.

[pandoraimperatrix]

Two Names For Change

Gotham | BatCat | Four Names ‘Verse | Two Shots | Read on AO3

Summary: First he was threatening her all the time with a proposal and now she actually wants one he seems to forget he ever wanted to marry her in the first place. People say that women are hard to understand. They never dated Bruce Wayne.

This is an introductory piece for the actual sequel. The sequel will tell Jason’s story so you can expect angst, this introductory piece however will be pure sugar sprinkled candyfloss cavity inducing fluff.

It got too big so I had to break it in two parts which was nice since I used it to expose myself as a Fairy Tale nerd. Thanks to my mutuals on Twitter for the incentive and Lily for helping me with the title.

Enjoy.

 Two Names For Change

Part I – Restoration

 "When they found that she was a Princess born, there was another burst of joy, which was almost the death of them; but when she told them the names of the King and Queen, her father and mother, they recognised them as the sovereigns whose dominions they had conquered. They imparted this fact to Finette, and she immediately vowed she would not consent to marry the Prince until they had restored the estates of her father. They promised to do so, for they had upwards of a hundred kingdoms, and one more or less was not worth talking about."

 - Finette Cendron by the Countess d'Aulnoy

 Selina fell next to Bruce, her heart still racing, she was panting hard. She smiled when she felt Bruce taking her hand and raising their arms over them, the blue glow of the monstrosity that Dick insisted in calling the “Batcomputer” being the only source of light in the room bouncing on their sweaty skin as their fingers laced together.

“You drained me, Cat.”

She let out a throaty laugh.

“You are tired? I did all the work myself.”

“In my defence, you do it so well, can you blame for liking to just lie down and watch?”

She snorted.

“You are such a pillow princess.” Saying that she slipped her hand from his and stood up. Bruce watched with longing and affection as she tried to make sense of the mess her hair had become, her naked form looking surreal under the penumbra of the cave.

“Let’s go to bed. The sun will rise soon.”

She turned back to him, her expression bashful.

“Sorry, B. I have to go home.”

Bruce’s soft smile fell, his jaw tense. Selina winced.

In a quick powerful motion he stood up, pulling his hair up nervously.

“I don’t get why we’re still doing this. You and Helena are here all the time.”

Guilt left Selina’s face and was substituted by annoyance.

“I already told you. I like having my own place.”

“I’m not talking about giving up your flat completely, but it’s stupid that you keep insisting in pretend that you still live there when you’re here all the time. It’s selfish. Helena doesn’t deserve to be keep being dragged from home to home.”

“Fine. She won’t. Because for now on I’ll keep that in mind and remember where we actually live.”

And she turned to leave, when she felt Bruce hug her from behind.

“No, no, no. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” His voice muffled by her hair. “I know what having your own place means to you.” Selina relaxed under him. “And it was wrong to bring Helena up, even though I stand by what I said regarding to her.” Bruce couldn’t see, but Selina bit her lip to control the pang of guilt. “I just hate that we’re not living together.”

Selina sighed and turned in his arms, Bruce’s hands left Selina’s waist and went to her face, holding her curls in place tenderly.

“I know… I’m sorry too. But as you said, I, we are here all the time.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Bruce…”

“Please? Just consider. You don’t have to say yes…” His serious demeanour cracked. “Now.”

She slapped him weakly on the chest.

“You are so full of yourself.”

“I could say the same.”

Selina’s chin fell and she closed her eyes in outrage.

“Oh my god, Bruce! Gross!”

“And yet true.” He mocked.

He could see she was having trouble trying to control the urge to laugh, her lips twitching despite her whole disgusted performance.

“That’s it. I’m leaving,” she said as they picked the parts of their scattered suits from the ground “I’m gone.” She turned back dramatically from the stairs. “And I’ll never come back!”

“Don’t forget to bring the things Dick needs for his school project when you come to dinner.”

“Shit, yes, I forgot. Thank you.” A few moments after she was back, but sadly not naked anymore. She eyed Bruce who was sitting on his ridiculously enormous chair, dressed in sweatpants, mug of espresso steaming in one hand as he worked at the computer.

“Didn’t you say you were going to sleep?” She raid running her fingers through his moist hair.

“Didn’t you say you were going home?”

“Your shower is better than mine.” She bended over to kiss him scrunching her nose at the bitter taste of coffee. “Text me later to remind me of Dick’s stuff? What is he doing again?”

“Some flying machine I think. He won’t let me help him. Hardhead.”

“Yeah, I know someone like that. But will you?”

“I’ll do better than that, I’ll text Helena.”

Selina smiled and then kissed him again. This time lasting longer, Bruce put the mug on the table so he could touch Selina, wishing they were back on the floor, with her feverish and wanton all around him.

She purred softly as they parted.

“See you later.” She whispered.

“Cat. Promise me you’ll think about it?”

Selina sighed but nodded before leaving, this time for good.

 Bruce used the rearview to spy on his kids. Helena was drooling on her hand, her head on Dick’s lap, her legs folded against her body, very uncomfortable sharing the back sit with Dick who was also asleep and Bruce could hear the hum of the earbud that had fallen one of his ears but was still hanging on one of his knotted curls. The boy was in need of a haircut. They were coming back from a weekend in Metropolis, Bruce was investigating Superman and when the kids learnt that the was going to the city they used all sorts of blackmail and schemes to go with him, in the end it became a whole family trip. He eyes then, Selina, she was looking through the pictures they took on her phone.

“I talked to Lucius about the proceedings to recognize Helena as my daughter.”

“Hmm… And you didn’t think about talking to me about it?”

“I’m doing it now.” He sighed. “I don’t want us to fight about it. I just want to give Helena what is rightful hers, including the Wayne legacy and name.”

“I know… I know… It’s just…”She hugged herself. “I was so afraid someone would take her away from me if I told them she was yours too.”

“I understand, but things are different now. We are different.” He diverted his eyes from the road to Selina, picking her hand and lacing their fingers together, she rolled her eyes, but there was unable to stop her own fond smile.

“We’ll need to talk to her.” She turned briefly to the kids. “I’m not specially attached to my last name, if she wants to ditch it for yours I won’t mind.”

He let the words sit for a while before continuing.

“About that…” His voice an octave higher from his faux absent-mindness.  

“Too soon.” She said dryly.

The car shook when he suddenly pushed the brakes the kids didn’t wake but mumbled annoyed.

“Meaning that eventually will be the right time?”

She bit back a smile at his excitement.

“I guess? I don’t know why you make such a huge deal out of this.”

“Because I love you, that’s why.”

She looked away shaking her head.

“You are so cheesy.” Her smitten tone brought a pleased smile to Bruce’s face that broadened after her thumb started rubbing his hand absently.

 Two years later, Selina had been sending signs that she was ready for what she feels like ages but nothing happens. And Bruce being Bruce she can never pinpoint when he actually is trying to create proposal settings to troll her or just being his usual sappy self. But after a while when a walk on the beach by the sunset when they took a trip so San Francisco for Dick’s fourteenth birthday was just a plot to convince her do it on the sand – and she found sand in weird places for weeks. All dinner dates in fancy restaurants were only PR appearances. And all special homemade desserts just because he liked to cook to her, it started becoming ridiculous.

She was ranting about that as she folded laundry and drank wine. Barbara was just drinking the wine. Heaven forbid her royal Kareness to help do any housework.

“But have you told him you want to tie the knot? I actually don’t know why the wait, how long have you been together since he came back? Four years?”

“Three. And no, but wouldn’t that be like proposing to him?”

“Well, kinda. I didn’t think you from all people would care about that.”

“It’s not like that. I don’t care about tradition, and shit. But have you any idea of how full of himself he’ll be if I’m the one to propose? I can see his already giant head inflating and flying him to space.”

Barbara laughed.

“Sorry, kiddo. I don’t know how to help you. Nobody proposed to me either.”

“Really? I thought Gordon did, back in the day.”

“He did. Sort of. We talked about it. Even thought all the shit that happen later I’m glad we never got to do the white picket fence, 2.5 kid scenario. That was no life for me. And as much as I’m grateful for how good he is to Babs, I couldn’t take five minutes of Lee’s life.” She shivered. Selina snorted.

“Would you have married Tabby? If you could back then?”

“I don’t know.” She chuckled. “Do you think she would’ve married me?”

“Oh man, imagine how extra that would have been. All rogues in one single place. I’d be the maid of honour, of course. Ivy providing de the décor with some poisoned flowers, Oswald throwing a fit because you were getting more attention than him. Do you think anyone has a minister’s licence?”

“I did something like that to punish Jim. Wore a dress and all” she snorted “I was one crazy bitch back them. Tabby helped.”

“Geez. I don’t even get to imagine a fucked up scenario because reality in this city is crazier.”

“We were so much worse before Tabby took you in. I sometimes wonder if you were what grounded us a little.”

“Really? Because you were such a bitch to me when I went to live with you guys. I used to miss vanilla straight Barbara a lot.”

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I was jealous.”

“Of what?”

“Tabby. She gave up on me and took you as her new little project.” Barbara rolled her eyes dramatically. “And there was Butch.” She groaned.

“Now I’m very happy that I didn’t have the same destiny as him.”

“Oh kitty-cat, I was jealous but I loved you. I always did. I might even have been jealous of you too. You were my little project first.”

 Two weeks and a family picnic on the Wayne state organized by Alfred, regular post-coitus moon bathing on the roofs and a very interesting day on a boat only the two of them after, nothing changed, except that Holly was home and spread on the carpet with Selina. Her head on the lap of her surrogate mother as Selina played lazily with the strands of hair that were dyed in a fading blue. The girls were in Helena’s room playing videogames. And Barbara was coming from a kitchen a batch of something supposedly drinkable on a tray.

Selina wrinkled her nose.

“What is that?”

“My favourite, alcohol.”

“No thanks.”

“Why not? What’s the point of girl’s night without getting wasted?”

“My stomach is hurting. Bruce took me to that new Indian restaurant three days ago. I’m too white for that.”

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure I have seen you eat rock.”

Holly snorted, Selina pulled her hair not hard enough to hurt enough to send a message.

“Ouch, Selina!”

“I’m getting old, I don’t know Barbara, if I wanted a doctor I’d have called Lee.”

They continued their chatting though the night, Holly telling them all about college drama and they trash talked their mutual friends until they all fell asleep. Selina woke up feeling horrible. Everything was dark. Even Helena’s room was silent. She pushed Barbara’s legs off her lap and got up from the sofa, dragging her wobbling legs to the kitchenette. She barely made to the sink before empting her stomach.

Shit.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Fuck, Barbara! Don’t do that!”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She said is a shaky voice, wiping her mouth. “Maybe I should see a doctor.”

Barbara looked at her with one eyebrow arched and folded arms.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m just having a déjà vu now.”

Selina widened her eyes in horror.

“No…”

“You said that too back then.”

“Fuuuuuck.”

The wave of nausea hit again, but now there was just bile. She was still hiccupping when Barbara made her sit down.

“Is it possible?”

Selina just glared at her.

“Very possible, then.”

“I mean. We use protection, mostly. You know I can’t take the pill. But I had my period.”

“Did you?”

“Yes!”

“Did you?”

Selina shut up for a second counting and then she covered her face in realization.

Barbara laughed and walked across Selina returning to the living room. She shook Holly awake.

“Wake up Holly, dear. We have a baby shower to plan.”

Pleeeeeease reblog my work if you liked it. It really helps me out. Thank you.

[sakura-blossom28]

Heartbroken

Here is the next part! An early birthday story for Sakura 🎉 The next chapter will be going deeper into their relationship and Sakura learning that she can trust Gaara.  Looking forward to writing that!  Writing this story has greatly helped me with dealing with my own emotions and helps me to look forward to what the future has to hold.  It’s tough now, but I have to hope it gets better.  Let me know what you think!  Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Sakura awoke on the morning of her birthday feeling rested and excited.  Her day started off celebrating with her parents.  Since Sakura was going out that night with her friends, they went out to breakfast.  Sakura loved this idea.  They chatted happily about their days, ate their fill of breakfast food, which was Sakura’s favorite, and caught up about their upcoming plans for the week.  She was lost in her thoughts about what Gaara had planned for her birthday.  

After their kiss, Sakura couldn’t stop thinking about it.  The days that followed were the happiest that Sakura had been in a long time.  Sure it had only been about a week, but Gaara and Sakura were almost inseparable.  If Sakura wasn’t at the gym, then Gaara was calling her to see how her day was.  It was a nice feeling being thought of.  He was attentive, kind, and always put a smile on her face.  He would even text her during the day to say he was thinking of her.  Even her boss took notice.  

“So what’s this guy’s name anyway?” Tsunade asked that Friday as they were finishing up her surgical notes in her office.  Sakura was thrown off by the question. She had been feeling better lately and her mood could be described as cheery.  

“I’ve noticed an improvement in your mood lately.  It’s nice to see you smile so easily now.  And laughing too.  You’ve been good for a while, but I’d say the last month has been a big shift.  So what’s he like?” 

Sakura couldn’t stop the blush coming onto her face. Had her behavior been so noticeable?  Enough for her boss to notice?

“He’s great actually.  Things finally seem equal for once, but we’re taking our time, which I really appreciate,” Sakura said without looking up from her work.  

“Good.  No need to rush.  I’ve been there before,” Tsunade said with a sly smile.  “Is he joining you at all on your birthday tomorrow?”   

“Well…” Sakura started and gave a nervous chuckle. “He is coming out with our friends at night, but I asked him to spend the day with me.  I was all ready to plan everything, but he insisted that he would plan something.  I feel kinda bad, we’re not even dating and he’s doing so much.” 

“I think that’s good.  Let him prove himself.  You deserve this Sakura.  Don’t feel bad.  If it was the other way around, I know you’d do the same so it’s okay.  Be selfish for once!  Just don’t abuse it, which you won’t it’s not in your nature. Enjoy it Sakura.” 

“Yeah, I think I will,” Sakura said smiling at her boss.

XxX

“Sweetie, what are you doing today?” Sakura’s mother asked her, shaking her out of her thoughts.  What would she tell them? 

“Oh well you know Hinata and everyone is putting something together tonight.  I think we’re going out downtown.  Don’t worry I won’t go crazy,” Sakura said finishing her meal.  

“Well, what about that boy Gaara you’ve been seeing,” her mother asked watching for her reaction.  Sakura almost choked, not expecting her mother to ask that, let alone know Gaara’s name.  “Naruto and Hinata filled me in the other day while you were still getting ready when they picked you up.  From what they’ve said, he seems nice.  Will you bring him around?” 

“Oh, mom…” Sakura grumbled into her hands.  So embarrassing!  Naruto had such a big mouth!  She was only going to tell her parent’s about Gaara when things got serious if that actually happened.  “Yeah, he’s coming out with us.  He’s actually planned something to do this afternoon with me.” 

“That sounds nice.  I wish you would have told us!  Do you like him?  Is he going to treasure you like you deserve to be?”  

“You know, for once I think I will be.  I gotta try right?” Sakura asked finally looking up at her parents.  They were smiling, knowing how important this step was for her.  Getting back out there and try again.  

“Well, I want to meet him,” her mother said finishing off her coffee, “Today.” 

XxX

White chrysanthemum- loyal love, daffodil- chirally, gardenia- secret love, hydrangea- gratitude, purple lilac- confidence, peony- compassion, orange rose- a desire, sunflower- dedication, and hibiscus- delicate beauty.  Not a typical arrangement, but it’s the literal thought that counts.  It took Gaara a while to find all the flowers he needed to make Sakura’s gift.  Hopefully, Sakura could see past the odd choices of flowers and get his message.  Just in case, he had written down what they all meant in his blocky handwriting for her to read later. He should just tell her what all the flowers mean, but he was just too embarrassed to express his feelings for her.  

He didn’t want to overwhelm Sakura, so he figured the flowers would say everything he needed to say.  He would just slip his not into her bag when she wasn’t looking.  Gaara was getting ready to go when his phone went off with a new message. 

Sakura: I hate to spring this on you last minute, but my parents kind of want to meet you… I don’t blame you if you say no! 

The thought did scare him a bit.  The only parent he had ever met was Lee’s coach.  It was so strange, they weren’t related but looked so much alike… Hopefully, Sakura’s parents won’t force him to eat curry like Guy did…

Gaara: It’s totally fine.  I’ll be there in 15 minutes. 

Climbing the stairs to her apartment, Gaara’s nerves finally overcame him.  He felt the heat climbing up the back of his neck, slowly reaching up to his face.  He had to control himself so that he didn’t crush the flowers that were in his hand.  Why was he so nervous?  They were just her parents, no big deal right? What if they look at me differently?  What if they don’t like me? 

Before his thoughts could overwhelm him even more, Sakura’s door opened up right before he could even knock on the door. 

“Oh hi!  You must be Gaara.  Please come in!  So sweet of you to take her out for her birthday!  Are those flowers for Sakura?” Sakura’s mother said as she guided him inside into the apartment.  

“Oh, um yes they are.  Nice to meet you,” Gaara chocked out.  He was brought into the living room.  Sakura’s father was there sitting, waiting for him.  He smiled brightly at Gaara and stood up to shake his hand.  

“Nice to meet you.  So what are you into?  Fishing, NASCAR, music?” Sakura’s father said while still shaking Gaara’s hand.  Thankfully before he could answer Sakura finally came out. 

“Dad!  Leave him alone please!” Sakura said with a slight blush to her face.  She looked beautiful to Gaara.  She wore a dark blue dress with little daisies on it that fit her figure well but still looked comfortable.  Now Gaara felt his blush moving to his face.  Hopefully, her parents wouldn’t notice.  

“Here, for you.  Happy birthday,” Gaara barely managed to get out.  She smiled so brightly at him when she finally turned to look at him after scolding her father.  

“Thank you!  They’re beautiful!” Sakura took them eagerly and only raised an eyebrow at him looking down at the flowers, but giggled understanding that he did this all himself.  

She set them aside in the kitchen and lead him to the door.  “Okay mom, we’re off!  I’ll see you guys later!” Sakura called out to her parents.  Before she even heard a response, Sakura pushed Gaara out of the door.  She grabbed his hand and they ran down the stairs toward his car.  

“Ugh, we barely made it out of there!  I’m so sorry for making that weird, thanks for coming up to meet them.  Naruto blabbed to my mom about today,” Sakura said winded from running.  

“Did you not want me to meet them?” Gaara asked standing behind her not looking directly at her.  It was a completely valid question.  She was acting like she didn’t want them to interact.  

“No that’s not it at all.  I’m sorry,” Sakura said taking his hand so that he would look at her.  “I didn’t want to rush things.  My parents have a tendency to be overwhelming.  I didn’t want to freak you out since you know…” 

“It’s alright Sakura.  I know what you mean.  It’s okay they were pleasant.  I don’t mind talking to them if it makes them more comfortable,” Gaara said giving Sakura’s hand a squeeze.  It was true.  Even though he felt nervous, he would sit through an awkward dinner with her parents if it made her and them feel better.  “C’mon I got a lot planned for you.” 

He went around to the passenger door to open it for her.  Sakura gladly walked around the car, thanked him and they were off.  

XxX

The sun was bright, the sound of the wave crashings against the shore, and the sun on her skin was the best feeling to Sakura.  Gaara had picked the perfect spot for them to sit.  Thankfully Gaara reminded Sakura to bring her sunglasses. She loved the beach.  On the drive over Gaara played all the music that they’ve talked about.  He didn’t even mind that she was a terrible singer.  

Now they were just sitting and enjoying each other’s company.  It was a great spring day.  Still a bit cold with the breeze, but Gaara had thought of everything and brought a second blanket.  Being in the sun was doing wonders.  A lot of people had the same idea that they did.  Many were walking by and even some dogs too.  

“This is a perfect day Gaara.  Thank you,” Sakura said leaning onto his shoulder.  It was perfect.  She couldn’t think of how the day could get any better.  

“I have one more surprise for you before we meet up with everyone else if you want,” Gaara said as he fixed her hair from the wind.  

“What is it?” Sakura asked excitedly. 

“You’ll see,” Gaara said as he helped her up, but kept holding Sakura’s hand as he led her back to the car.  

XxX

“Are you sure about this?” Sakura asked in disbelief.  “I don’ think we’ll be able to finish in time.”

“Don’t worry so much.  Just try to enjoy it,” Gaara said with a laugh, seeing the determined look in her eyes.  Gaara had found an ice cream parlor that was just perfect for Sakura.   Not only did they have every flavor of ice cream you could think of, but it was also designed to look like they went back in time to the ’20s.  Everyone inside was happy with the nice weather and ice cream.  They were seated right in the window that looked out onto the beach.  Sakura looked so happy sitting in the sun, Gaara’s heart skipped a beat just looking at her.  

Not only was this parlor a nice place for them to relax, but there was an ice cream challenge for them to conquer.  If they finished a massive sundae of ice cream and toppings of their choice in 30 minutes, they would get their picture up on the wall and a free t-shirt.  Sakura’s eyes lite up at the word t-shirt. Thankfully they both had a major sweet tooth.  

30 minutes went by in a flash, but they had done it!  Sakura was so proud of her t-shirt, she made Gaara take a picture of her with it.  The one that she liked best was the one that the waitress had taken of them after they had finished.  Gaara wasn’t even looking at the camera, he was only looking at Sakura while she was smiling proudly.  She secretly took a picture of it before they left.  

Once they got to his car, Sakura practically fell into the seat.  “I am so stuffed I can barely function!  I can’t believe we did that!”  They laughed at each other before they drove off.  

“Well how about we meet up with Naruto and Hinata before we have to go out and celebrate?” Gaara suggested.  

“That’s a good idea.  Maybe I can take a nap,” Sakura said as she leaned her head against the window.  She was asleep before she knew it.  

XxX

Sakura woke up a couple of hours later on Naruto’s couch.  She was wrapped up in a blanket with her head in Gaara’s lap.  He was gently running his hand through her hair.  It reminded her when Sasuke used to do this.  It was nice when he did it, but he would get lost in his own thoughts and forget that he was almost pulling her hair.  She didn’t mind since it was some form of affection, but with Gaara it was different.  He was being very gentle so that he wouldn’t wake her.  It was such a strangle feeling of having them be so similar, yet so different.  

She must have moved because Gaara had stopped.  “I’m sorry.  Did I wake you?” he asked in a quiet voice.  It seemed like they were alone.  “Naruto and Hinata went to the restaurant to set up your party.  We can leave whenever you want.”

“How did I get in here?” Sakura asked sitting up still half asleep.  

“Well, I wasn’t going to leave you in the car.  I carried you in,” Gaara said as if it was nothing.  

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that.  You could have just woken me up!” 

“I didn’t mind. Don’t worry about it.  How are you feeling?  You fell asleep pretty hard,” Gaara asked as he fixed Sakura’s hair.  She smiled sweetly at him.  

“I’m fine now.  Let’s go,” Sakura said getting off the couch.  Before she could get too far, Gaara stood and reached for Sakura’s hand.  

“Before I have to share you with everyone else.  I want to give you one last thing,” Gaara said as he gently pulled Sakura to him and leaned down to kiss her.  He went slowly in case she didn’t want to be kissed, but when he saw Sakura smile and closed her eyes he relaxed and closed the distance between them.  He savored every second of the kiss.  It was even better than he remembered from the other day.  Gaara moved his hand to her face to deepen the kiss.  He felt Sakura gently do the same.  They broke apart but still stayed close to each other.  

“Thank you, Gaara, for everything.  This is seriously the best birthday,” Sakura said barely above a whisper.  

“And it’s not even over yet,” Gaara said as he kissed her cheek and took her hand to lead her out the door.  

XxX

The night was over before Sakura knew it.  The restaurant was perfectly decorated by Hinata and Naruto with Sakura’s favorite colors.  Balloons, streamers, even a photo collage of Sakura and her friends over the years.  The food was delicious and everyone was having a great time.  She was so happy to have her friends around and Gaara by her side. While everyone laughed and talked, he held her hand the entire time.  Every now and then they would make eye contact and both start smiling.  

Sakura was exhausted but didn’t even realize it until she started falling asleep at the table and leaning her head against Gaara’s shoulder.  They decided to call it a night around 11.  Gaara lightly guided Sakura to his car so he could take her home.  She was in and out of sleep when they arrived.  When they got to her door she slowly turned around and wrapped herself around Gaara.  

Pure bliss is the only thing Sakura felt at this moment.  He had gone over and beyond for her.   No one had done something like this for her.  In the past, she always did the planning and just invited the other person along.  Gaara went out of his way to do things that he thought she would like.  He was caring, sweet, and attentive all day.  Words couldn’t even come to her to thank Gaara for everything he’s done for her.  

As she was hugging him, Gaara slipped his note into Sakura’s bag.  Hopefully, she would find it in the morning and it would make her smile.  

“Get some rest.  I’ll talk to you in the morning.  Happy birthday,” he said and kissed her on her forehead before she went inside.

[kimsngmn]

Moonlight

(there’s no gif of both them so please enjoy fetus minho!)

Minho x reader x felix

Angel au

warning (s) : Tons of cursing

fluff and a tiny of angst

2.5k words

:)

The bright moon shines brightly. Every step I go, it’ll always there, no matter where I run off to. The white sky moves quickly with the wind violently hit me. Just like that, the once shining brightly that’s been there for me, it's just gone. No words, just painful feelings in the chest that’s eating me alive.

--

Dragging myself to school probably the hardest thing to do. The amount of stress I get from the finals is better worth it. It’s like, I’m not sure that if I’m tired of not working hard enough or I just tired and want to give it up. Everything goes back and forth. You arrive at school, Study for a couple of hours, break time for an hour or even half of the hour. Then continue the study. Again and again. 

Walking to the school’s bathroom and see my reflections in the mirror is exactly horrific. The amounts of eye bags and dark circles are getting clearer. But, hey, for school right? Sometimes I just wish that someone would like, help me to lessen my burden. My mouth lets out a soft sigh and goes to the routine that has been set up for everyone. 

--

“Hey!” A deep voice got my attention as the hall chattered with voices from other students. After all, it’s the time where everyone goes back home. That voice belongs to a boy who taller than me, with freckles scattering all over his face. With his plump lips, he starts to speak again.

Honestly, if I could wish on something, and one of it will be to listen to his voice. It’s like, his voice is that deep enough to make people flutter on inside. And I have to say, His puberty hits him like a truck. A tiny boy that I know from the next door is not sure exactly like this person. 

“Earth to Y/n?” 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Oh boy, the finals kicking in your ass, aren’t they?” He chuckles as he thought of it. Probably amused how lost I looked. 

“Shut up, Felix.” 

--

“Let’s just say that-“ 

“Nope” I cut him abruptly with ‘p’ popped at the end.

“Oh come on, ” Felix whiny and purposely make his voice higher with his eyes suddenly become the biggest wide eye ever he made, it scares me to think that his eyeball would fall out. 

“Felix, I love you, but I hate you at the same time, would consider that might be, it’s a dumb thing to do?” 

--

“I will kick your damn ass one day, Lee Felix,” I muttered as I tried my best to not scratch myself with all those thorns that on trees all around me. Let’s just say, Lee Felix, my best friend that I would trade with money, decided to be a freaking adventurous at midnight where both of us have classes the next day. He barged into my room without my permission and abruptly wake me up after I just slept? He, my friend, deserve a big ass kick ever. 

Just to find a flower? I mean it’s just a legend. No one knows whether it’s real or not. I swear, there is one of the days where my eye rolls become uncontrollable.

 The Moonlight Flower is a flower that has five petals decorated with dark purple-blue along with white dots that looked like a star. 

People told us that, if anyone found it and wish upon it, his/her wish would come true. But, it comes with a price. It was unbearable pain and thus, the price equal to wish that must think carefully. 

--

I lost Felix in the middle of the forest and I’ve no intention to search for him. Since this forest once our playground, there’s no such thing for us to get lost in this forest. But it does get lonely without him.

Man, Can I just finish this quick? I need to get back and sleep. That’s all I need. I mentally beat myself up for actually accept Felix’s quest out of nowhere. 

The wind breeze makes my heart in peace. And I almost thankful for Felix to bring me out tonight. Almost. The forest itself, not entirely dark because the stars are there to brighten up. My walk has been softly rather than hurried up. Somehow Felix’s word makes me think those flashbacks that happen suddenly out of nowhere. 

--

“I wonder what it feels like to wake up knowing you’re in love with someone who loves you too,” Felix asked me as he kicking those tiny stones while we’re walking back home.

“I’ve never been in a relationship before, but, someone told me that, if it’s meant for you, not even the seven skies and seas could keep you from it.” 

“I see,” He said as he looks up to the sky for a while before he turned his eyes and smile at me. 

“It could be any relationship, right? Till then, wait. No, Always. You have me until every last star in the galaxy dies, you have me. And I’ll be here for you.” 

--

 The sounds of crickets can be heard from every direction and the wind breeze now gone and its cold dead end. The star also is gone, somehow, the forest itself becomes deadly. 

I’ve calculated every measurement that I needed, just in case someone or any animals attack me from behind. Every each of the step causes silent, it was an uncomfortable silence. I could feel tense and at this time, I wish Felix is here from the beginning. 

I keep turning left and right. Hoping that I am alone instead of having thoughts of strangers follow me. Life of full surprise right? Out of fear, I just found myself a legend flower; the moonlight flower.

Oh great, now what I am supposed to do? Wish on it? How? 

As I get near to it, it softly glows and for sure, it’s let out a sweet scent. It’s mesmerizing.

“I wish I have someone that I can call mine” I quietly muttered as I cupped the flower. Not sure what am I supposed to do, but, at least I did something right? 

-- 

“I’m sorry but what?” my titled a bit as my face full of the confusion of someone that happens or barges, in my house. Not only that, he has these wings attached to his back. I’m not sure that felix threw a Halloween party without I know about it. 

“For someone who good at academics, you’re not that bright, aren’t you?” His dark brown orbs stare at me along with his lips curled into a smirk. Cocky ass.

“Excuse me? I didn’t ask you to sassy out of me? I asked you, who the hell are you?” 

“Well, sweetheart. As you can see, I’m an angel.” He said as he turns around to show off his beautifully craved wings. His voice for sure getting more arrogant.

“Great, now where’s the devil then? Did he run away because you’re such pain in the ass to handle with?” 

“There’s a line there, little human.” His eyes sparkle with darkness and the whole atmosphere goes cold instantly. “Try your best to control your pretty little lips to not cross it” He whispered into my ears as he bends down a bit to have face-to-face with me. His eyes still glow dark, but his smirk still there.

“Minho. Lee Minho. That’s my name. And, I’m here because of your wish.” 

How is that even correlate with what I wished for?

--

Minho said it’d be fun. Fun my ass.

Minho lays down on the couch making him feel comfortable as his feet rest on the armrest. His whole outfit of an angel that he claimed now turned into a dark grey hoodie with sweatpants. His fascinating wings are gone too.

“Hey,” I said softly, as I walk from the kitchen after heard Minho’s groan in pain. The nearer I get to him, the faster my heartbeat goes. Just to realize that he is having a nightmare. 

I sit down near to his face as he’s comfortable laying on the couch. His face clearly shows that he is in pain. My heart speeds up as I try to touch his face with my finger. The electric shocks linger in my body as Minho’s cold finger touch with my wrist. His eyes still shut.

“Don’t. You’ll hurt yourself if you’re trying to figure me out.” His words contained a warning and sad as his eyelashes go up revealing tears that being held back. 

My heart just dropped.

--

The morning comes and Minho is gone. Half of my heart feels happy when I found that Minho is not there, laying on the couch. While the other is pain and sadness. It was wild, thinking where Minho could have been in this huge city and even if he goes out somewhere, does he even have money to buy something? Why? All those questions make my head spinning around and around. 

It pissed me off. To think someone that I just met last 2 weeks, claimed himself as an angel could make me worried like this. Because he’s the first one to make my heart torn apart like this. And I hate it. I hate this feeling; the hopelessness. No matter how hard you try to get rid of this feeling, it’s always there, haunting you until the end.

Among those 2 weeks, I learned that how lovestruck can he be when sees stray cats. And it took lots of energy to hold him back from chasing those cats. Not to mention, he is a pain in the ass to take care of but he always is there. What an angel you are, Lee Minho. Being able to make me speaks about the pain that I’ve been holding on.

As the rain trickles down my face, that’s when I realize that I’m outside with rain all over me, running like a crazy person. Searching for him. Asking everyone what have they seen Minho by describing his tallness, his hair color, and the outfit. Hoping, desperately. Someone saw him walking here or there. Who gives a damn about the school, when you just lost someone that give an impact on yourself. 

Now I’m left with unwanted feelings and a mind that won’t stop thinking about it, but despite all this, I still have hope. Hoping that he would be there at home, worry about me. Was that another wishful thinking? Or just useless hope?  

The rain won’t stop its tears so do I. Until someone stopped me by holding me tightly from behind and his head are low enough to whisper my ears.

“Let’s go home.” 

It’s him.

God. Please. Let this feeling last.

--

Both of us changed our drenched clothes in more comfortable clothes. I am mad, for leaving the house without letting me know, make me feel this emotion all over the place and make me feel like worthless without him by my side. What’s exactly wrong with my heart? Since when my heart becomes this soft?

As I arrived in the living room, I see Minho playing with his fingers. Is he nervous? Well, he better be for making me worried about him. His hair still drenched with water as the rain falling harder as both of us walked home. Sitting next to him, while waiting for him to speak first. What if he didn’t talk first? Should I-

“I’m sorry” 

Eh?

Minho takes a few deep breaths before continuing. “I’m sorry for making you worried about me, and I-I don’t have any excuse for that. It’s just, I bought something for you and I kinda forgot to leave a note as I abruptly left the house. I don’t even have your number to call you in the first place.” 

Minho briefly looks at me, seeing that I didn’t make any effort to move or speak, he decided to continue anyway.

“When I saw you running from another side to another, just to find me… it just makes me feel this whole new emotion that I never felt before. Like, you looked so vulnerable when that person told you that he never saw me before; It makes me want to protect you and never want to make you feel that sadness ever again. It’s so-“

“Then don’t leave me” My small voice opened up as I interrupted him. My eyes now focused on him, I can see that his shoulders tensed and his face was shocked, but it was gone a few seconds later. A hope rising in my heart.

“I promise you. That I’ll never leave you alone ever again.” 

Both of us shared a smile and laugh all night. We are getting to know each other and surprisingly, both of us have a lot in common. He would tell me, how dumb others angels that he had to handle with. And somehow, both we relate to each other so much. It’s scary, but at the same, it’s nice to have someone that could be related to you so much.

Like a soul mate.

--

“You know, you’ve been so happy these days.” Felix pointed out as both of you walked outside of the school entrance.

“That’s…great? I guess?” I answered him back, unsurely. 

“Well, Y/N I known pretty busy with homework, assignment or, not forget your own best friend's birthday. But go off I guess?” He replied with a hurt tone lies within those words.

Shit. Shit.

“Omg, No, Felix. Sweetie. Happy Birthday!” I said happily, but seeing his face does break some pieces in my heart. 

“Oh, no, no. I’ll treat you with food. Come on, Felix. Don’t ignore me like this.” He walked away as I desperately try to talk to him. 

How can I forget his birthday? What a great friend you are, Y/N.

Try my best to at least at the same pace on him while walking, it does make me why I hate P.E so much. And this boy, freaking athletes in our school. 

“Felix” 

No answers.

“Felix!” At this point, I don’t even care. My hands caught and intertwined both our fingers and run towards any place that both of us can talk peacefully. And hopefully, he wants to talk.

--

“Mind reminds me why are here again?” Felix broke the silence that surrounding us for a while. Running away from the crowded place and go to places where almost no one there, do make you feel peaceful for a while. Our fingers still intertwined tightly as I don’t want to let him grasp go. 

“Just…Nothing. I just want to be here. Alone with you.” I answered it, still walking side by side with Felix. My head still finding any excuses to give to Felix about how can I forget about his birthday. Little did you know, Felix’s heart just burst out by how tight you hold his hand.

What should I do now?

[make-it-mavis]

Sunflower

WiR fic (INTERNET AU) 2971 words Characters: Mavis, Red (friendly Turbo duplicate) Content warnings: Mentions of scars Premise: Mavis, having lived in the internet for a couple years, dances with a duplicate of Turbo, nicknamed "Red," and is shaken once more by how complicated their relationship is.

_____________________________________

Of all the websites that Mavis had been introduced to, Spotify was one of her favorites. Dance floors at least quadruple the size of Qix, with one for every album, every playlist, every song. She loved to hop playlists, spend just a few songs in one before zipping into another. She had never heard so many songs in her entire life, certainly more than she had heard over the radio at Litwak’s, and never with such clear sound quality. It felt unreal, like some impossible overindulgence. 

And then there was the more quaint, but still quite fun, way to experience the site. The admin of the PC where Red’s game and countless other games resided had their own private playlists. Sprites would regularly filter in and out, but once a week, there was a sort of community dance night. Those nights were cozy, and Red sure seemed to enjoy seeing everyone. So, Mavis regularly invited herself, and no one seemed to mind -- if she was a friend of Red, she might as well have been a friend of the community.

So, on a community night like any other, she was there.

The song playing was one Mavis had never heard before. Although the sound seemed to be coming from literally nowhere, the bass still rumbled in the floor, and the beat still bounced against Mavis’ heart. The lights were low, creating a sort of blue-green darkness that made the dancers seem as if they were weeds drifting together on the ocean floor. The air was warm, bordering on stuffy, from the number of bodies. But it put no damper on anyone’s spirits. Mavis was right where she wanted to be, right in the center of the action. Against the floor alight with glowing green panels, Mavis’ feet moved with the justified confidence of a lifelong performer, and her body followed suit. Sometimes sprites would stop and watch her, or even cheer her on, and the thrill from that was a nostalgic one. She had only recently learned to enjoy performing again.

Red had helped her with that.

The song ended to a number of cheers and whoops. Mavis, feeling like she could actually break a sweat, simply smiled and nodded to any nearby compliments while she caught her breath, even allowing someone a brisk high-five. Then the lights took on a tint that was more of a true, dreamy blue, and the floor changed color to match. A relaxed, shuffling beat began, and a smooth voice chimed in, beginning a song that really did sound like warm water to her.

She looked to the glowing green Spotify symbol up on the far wall to check the song, and she saw in white text beneath it, “Sunflower,” and in even smaller text beneath that, “Post Malone & Swae Lee”.

Although it was another song she did not recognize, she smirked a bit, even chuckled. “Sunflower” was one of her nicknames for the sunny and sweet guy who accompanied her that night. She figured it would be only right to dance with him to it, but when she looked around, she found that she had lost track of him. 

Quickly painting feathers on her heels, Mavis rose above the crowd for a better look, and found him near one of the side walls, chatting with his brothers. Well, that conversation could wait.

Hurrying a bit, she shot over to the trio, making them all jump. She greeted the twins, whose faces were almost as strange to see as their younger brother’s -- it had been thirty years since she saw her Turbo’s twin brothers, after all. It was also weird to see them not reply with scowls.

Red barely had a moment to ask her what was up before she seized him by the wrist, told him, “Get in here, Sunflower,” and pulled him back to the dancefloor, weaving through the crowd until they were in the middle again. Red looked a little disoriented, but Mavis nodded towards the song title on the wall. That put a smile on his face, and he laughed in the most unbearably sweet way as he took her hands in his. They began to groove together just as the first verse began.

“Needless to say, I keep in check She was a bad-bad, nevertheless Callin’ it quits, now, baby I’m a wreck Crash at my place, baby you’re a wreck…”

Nothing was particularly funny, but Mavis still found herself snickering. Red was a pretty good dancer, and it was at least evident that he enjoyed it. Mavis had no doubt that he would have told her that it was not about skill level, it was about having fun. Something she too had always believed when she had the luxury of it, regardless of how many times she made fun of others for being bad at things.

Still, she and Red really did seem to share a few beliefs. Mavis did not blame herself for not always being able to uphold hers, out of necessity. Life had tested her beliefs on more than one occasion. But looking at the cheerful boy dancing in front of her, she had to wonder -- had his ever been tested? Although he was so eager to help others, he never seemed to talk of his own pain.

“Needless to say, I keep in check She was a bad-bad, nevertheless Callin’ it quits, now, baby I’m a wreck Crash at my place, baby you’re a wreck…”

The flame under her belly began to dim just a bit as the usual thoughts crept into her head. Nothing would test his beliefs more than finding out the truth about her. Hearing about what she had been through, and what she had done because of it. If he knew how much blood was on her hands, he would never touch them. If he knew what all her scars and wounds were from -- her arm, her cheek, the notch in her ear, her half-missing finger, everything hidden by her clothes… he would be staggered.

He believed all of her lies without question. The fake sob stories she had spun to cover up the darker truth. Mavis had made a life off of lying, and it was all too easy to control a trusting heart.

Yet, still, somehow, lies aside… she seemed to admire that trusting heart.

“Thinkin’ in a bad way, losin’ your grip Screamin’ at my face, baby don’t trip Someone took a big L, don’t know how that felt Lookin’ at you sideways, party on tilt…”

Red seemed to notice her simmering down the tiniest bit. He stepped in an inch closer and ducked his head to give her an inquisitive look and a hopeful smile. She both loved and hated the way she could not help but smile back. Sometimes, when faced with his kindness, she dared to wonder if he might actually be kind enough to hear the truth and forgive her for it. But then her rational brain would kick in, and play out for her just what that confession would sound like:

‘Hey Red, what if I told you that I literally murdered an old man, a child, and a coworker, and also I only started hanging out with you because you look like the guy I loved for thirty years, and I’ve been lying to your face this entire time?’

...No. That would not go over well.

“Ooh-ooh, some things you just can’t refuse She wanna ride me like a cruise, and I’m not tryna lose…”

Still, from the way he looked at her, and the way he slid his hand up her arm to pull her in the tiniest bit closer, it was safe to say… he was not afraid of her, the way he saw her. What he saw, exactly, she could not have been sure. 

All she knew in that moment was that he so badly wanted to dance with her. And she wanted to dance with him.

So she would live in the moment. Rather, live in the song.

Obliging him, she moved right into his space. He held her waist, she held his arms, and as he smiled brightly, they fell into the flow of the watery blue light.

“Then you’re left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya You’re the sunflower I think your love would be too much...”

As she smirked at him, and she studied the way his eyes squinted at the edges with his smile, wondered, not for the first time, how he got to be so… genuinely good, in ways she never would have expected from a Turbo duplicate. Her Turbo was not a ‘good’ person, and neither was she. They were good in whatever way served them. That always seemed right. It seemed smart. The only way to really be happy.

But Red was inarguably a good, kind person through and through, and he sure seemed happy.

“Or you’ll be left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya You’re the sunflower You’re the sunflower…”

Kindness from the original Turbo was a tough thing to earn (for everyone other than herself). Felix was kind, but it was almost fearful at times, or stressed, like he was too tightly restrained by good manners. But with Red? His kindness was immediate. It was without fear or grudge. It was light, and warm, and easy to accept. Anyone who met him would easily say that kindness was just in his programming; it was the only way he knew how to be.

Mavis would have said differently.

It was not programming, it was not a set of unbreakable commands by the Devs. It was too real, too genuine for that. No, she believed that the thing that made him happiest was making others happy. He made the decision to be who he was. He deserved some credit for that.

When Red had shown her a documentary about flowers, it told of a bright, gold-petaled flower that always faced the sunlight. Red had done nothing but search for light and beauty since she met him. The connection was clear.

He was a walking, talking sunflower.

“Every time I’m leavin’ on ya You don’t make it easy, no Wish I could be there for ya Give me a reason to…”

Just then, Red took hold of her hands again, and twirled her around to dance close behind her. Her arms were crossed over her body, and she felt Red’s fingers lace into hers. Heart kicking up just a bit, but caught in the moment, Mavis leaned back into him just enough to feel his chest shifting against her back while she swayed. It was a sort of intimacy that she would not have granted to just anyone, but Red was exceptional, after all. He had been nothing but a friend to her since they crossed paths, and that was also not a title Mavis used lightly.

In all truth, it was utterly irresponsible of her to use it on Red.

There were times where she so desperately wished that she could have. She wanted to stay. She wanted to be his best friend, to grow closer, to see whatever parts of him he was hiding away. She wanted to understand how he could be so likable, so trusted by his community. It was a life she never quite had, even as Pyrite. But Red had welcomed her into a world where no one knew about her past. Maybe, with Red’s example, she could have turned over a new leaf, a little bit. Not all the way. But since coming to the internet, spending time with Red had been the first spark of life in the desolate ruins of her tired, old mind.

But that could not happen. In the end, she would have to leave. That was the only end to the story. The sooner, the better. The sooner, the kinder.

No matter how much fun she was having. No matter how happy she was. No matter how much she shivered at the proximity of his face bowing over her shoulder, no matter how familiar that demon-level heat felt behind her, no matter how good it felt to enjoy being touched again…

For once in her life, she had to do the right thing.

Just… not yet.

“Every time I’m walkin’ out I can hear you tellin’ me to turn around Fightin’ for my trust and you won’t back down Even if we gotta risk it all right now, oh…”

Mavis felt Red’s warm fingers slip out from between hers, and without realizing that she had turned, she found herself facing him again. And, just like that, he was all she could see. He was still smiling at her, but it had become gentler in a way, sort of lighter. His glowing eyes were now untouched by his smile, but they were soft, and full of distinct admiration, even adoration.

Conflict stirred in Mavis’ belly. So much of what Red saw when he looked at her like that was a lie. His admiration was misplaced, pointed so far away from his beautiful, perfect world. Mavis was not admirable to sprites like Red. 

But he knew some of her, and that seemed to be enough to dazzle him. She could see it in his face when she performed, or took crazy risks, or left a whole room laughing. She had to admit that being looked at with such genuine, accepting affection felt pretty good, even if it was misguided. It had just been so long. The last sprite to ever look at her like that was…

...Red really was a spitting image of Turbo.

She was told that was just how duplicates worked, but Red was the first duplicate she ever met. He was exactly Turbo, only… his hair was shorter and cleaner… his skin was smoother and healthier… and his eyes were relaxed and trusting. Mavis had to wonder if Red was just a model of what Turbo might have looked like if he had not been plugged into a crushing arcade life. If he had ever truly been free of the way that world laid waste to his mind, the same way it did hers.

But she was the one who lived to escape that world. It should have been both of them.

Mavis’ heart ached deeply at the reminder. 

“I know you’re scared of the unknown…”

Red must have noticed a change in her, because his expression only softened further, and the adoration turned… sad, somehow. Like there were things he wanted to say, but knew it was not the time or place. He hesitated, stroking her hands with his thumbs. Then she felt his hand slide gently up her forearm, completely unafraid of the rows of scars, oblivious to the ghosts of tragedy that haunted them. He pulled her a bit closer, carefully.

“You don’t wanna be alone…”

Mavis was nearly motionless. The ache in her heart had spread its roots all through her body, and she was quite nearly consumed by grief, right there on the dance floor. All she could do was look at Red, and how he was a living, breathing image of the one she lost. She missed him so wretchedly much, and here he was… almost. Red was so, so close to the root of her heartache.

“I know I always come and go…”

Red brought his hand up slowly to cup her cheek, and he brushed his thumb over the raised scar there. Mavis’ heart just pulsed with thick, hot sludge. She was drowning in him. Drowning in all the things he was doing, and how they were all the things she missed. The way his forehead touched hers, and the warmth of his flushed face glowing on hers. Being so close to his eyes that she could see the deep red irises in them. Watching them close as he tilted her head up, tasting that hint of sugar on his breath, and he was so close, and it was happening, and she could relive it all, if she just gave in, if she just let him kiss her…

“But it’s out of my control…”

NO!

With a brisk shove, Mavis freed herself. She did not stop to look at Red’s reaction before pushing and weaving her way through the crowd in a hurry. Her chest was burning, and her head was spinning. She had just come so close to blowing it, and it terrified her how easy it was. How much she liked it.

She emerged from the crowd as a frantic, emotional mess, and Red’s brothers were right where she left them, to her dismay. Mavis paused for only a moment to look at them, and they straightened up at the sight of her. Over the music, she heard Red call her name in pursuit of her.

But she could not bring herself to reply, even though she wanted to. She wanted so badly to apologize to him, and to his brothers. And she would later, make no mistake, she would come up with some adequate explanation and apologize sincerely, but just not yet. Not while she was so angry with herself.

She could not use Red to fill in the gaps that Turbo left in her life. She could not do that to Turbo’s memory. She could not do that to herself, not when she was already bound to lose him.

And she absolutely could not do that to Red.

Trembling down to her bones, fighting tears starting to brim, and without so much as a glance back, she rushed into the glowing, green exit portal, leaving the previously wonderful party behind.

“And you’ll be left in the dust Unless I stuck by ya You’re the sunflower I think your love would be too much…”

[alreadyblondenow]

I loved you first, but you’re not the last

“....You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,”

Pairing: Mark Lee x female!reader

Genre: Angst, SMUT, fluff, childhood best friends to lovers

WC: 4,588k

Warnings: Fake dating, break up,swearing, mentions or other idol, reader x Taeyong in the end, Taeyong as Mark’s brother, unprotected sex, virginity loss, a lot of making out, mentions of making out, touching, a small amount of dirty talking, oral sex (female receiving), overstimulation

A/N: NOT PROOFREAD. I’ll fix it once I get my internet connection back. Gosh I hope this posts. Part of Request Party

It was in the middle of the night when you received a call that did not just woke you up, but also woke your whole being. Body, mind and soul.

“You’re back?” crankily you sat up from bed, scratching your heavy eyes and about to get out of bed because the person on the other line is right outside your house, waiting for you.

He has been away and gone for too long because of college... and you should be excited as you go downstairs to meet him, but you know why he’s here and it’s no good news. Let’s face it, this night will not end nice.

“Here goes nothing,” you murmured. Wrapping yourself with your thick jacket before you finally step outside.

And the moment you opened the door, snow was falling and you didn’t miss how the snow landed peacefully on Mark’s eyelashes. Eyes looking straight to you, those sad eyes that can’t hide the pain that he’s holding. A pain that you caused.

You wanted to finally reunite first with a hug, but he got ahead of you and took your chance to show him how much you missed him.

“How could you?” he started, eyes still locked on yours. “I thought we were going to wait and do it right- how could you date my brother while I was away?”

Even you find it cruel. What you did to Mark was cruel, selfish, and unforgivable. And truth be told, you don’t have the right words now. You wanted to explain of course, but you’re scared it might break him even more. “I love your brother,” you said softly. Not even brave enough to look him in the eye because you feel bad.

“You loved me first,” he bite back. And you can’t help but be weak in front of him and cry. Usually whenever you cry, he will walk towards you and remind you how much you mean to him. But you guess not tonight, maybe you don’t deserve love tonight.

“You left me, remember?” you dried your tears and tried being brave even just for a short period. Just until you have the guts to walk away.

“Whatever. It’s not yet too late. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy,”

He finally said his true purpose tonight. This was his last chance and the only to win you back. But even though he has never been more honest in his whole life except tonight, he feels like not even telling you his feelings can bring you back to him. Mark was so frustrated that he has tears in his eyes already that you wanted to dry so bad. But if you really want him to respect the relationship you have with his brother, then this is the perfect time.

“I may have loved you first, but your brother is the last man I’ll love. I’m sorry Mark,”

And just as you finish saying those hurtful words, you finally have the bravery to turn your back on him and ignore his shouting that you’re sure your parents and neighbors heard. This is you throwing a decade of good friendship because of unrequited love.

FOUR YEARS AGO

The day before Valentines day, you don’t know what’s up with your mood or with you in general, because you’ve been so envy with the people around you, couples to be exact. As you admire happy couples in school who celebrates Valentines as early as now, you can’t help but to imagine someone.... someone that will give you flowers, chocolates... kisses, or whatever you’ll accept in whole heartedly.

Valentines is like Christmas, it’s a day of giving and receiving. But that only applies if you have someone special whom you can spend the day with and exchange shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine cards with.

“I can be your fake boyfriend, come on it will be fun,” he raises his seagull eyebrows and smirked. Come to think of it, it’s not a bad idea. You’ve been best friends even before kindergarten, you watch each other grow and went through puberty together until the next thing you know, you’re printing college applications together in your room because his printer broke down.

“Let’s not go to college without having the experience of high school love... you know, let’s have fun before we graduate with flying colors. Let’s go to parties, participate in Valentine-gram tomorrow, go to prom together. What do you say?” he added.

“But everything’s fake? What’s the point of fake dating if we already look like were dating ever since we started being friends?” You whine and flop on your bed, Mark did the same thing.

“Don’t think about it too much, just say yes,” for a moment you both just stared at the ceiling, wondering what could go wrong if you started fake dating. “Anyway, you don’t have a choice. I need to get home and answer these- Bye, you’re my girlfriend now!”

“W-what? Mark-“

And just before you could reason out with him, he’s gone with his college applications and you’re left with your thoughts and excitement. You don’t know why but Mark’s crazy idea made your heart jump, it’s like a good electricity that made you look for your art materials and spend the whole evening making your fake boyfriend a blue shiny, glittery, and sparkling Valentine card.

Even if the motive was fake, the effort was real and it felt good and right at that very moment.

But little did you know that his idea of fake dating was only his way to not shock you when he finally confess his feelings to you.

That’s right, your best friend is in love with you.

If she wears blue tomorrow I will confess to her. He tells himself as he stares in his ceiling, feeling the same excitement and electricity in his heart. Trying so hard to sleep but he kept on thinking about you and can’t help but feel the excitement for tomorrow again.

“You and Y/n started dating? Since when?” Mark’s mother exclaimed happily while driving. Looking at his son admire the roses he got you from the flower shop downtown.

“We’re just starting mom. Thanks for helping me pick these up by the way,”

“Oh there she is! Wearing blue! Oh I never realized how you two grew such good looking kids until now,”

Mark breathed in and let it out with a smile, thankful that you wore his favorite color, because he can’t continue to hide his feelings for you. Maybe you and him are really bound to happen.

As you wave goodbye to Mrs. Lee with a bright smile, there you see Mark carrying a unique bouquet of roses and your eyes immediately went big and sparkled because. Not to mention your heart beats so hard and fast because he looked so handsome even in his casual clothes.

“Wow- I’m speechless, these are beautiful. Where did you get these?” you accept the bouquet as he hands it to you with a smile. Engraving the look of your face in his mind and heart, swearing to himself that from now on he will make you happy like this everyday.

“It’s a secret. You’re special so it requires extra effort. Happy Valentines and happy first day of being a couple,” he said and planted a kiss on your forehead. Something so natural for you and him, but today is different. Nonetheless, you believe that today will be a beautiful and eventful day.

In the see of people wearing red and white in your school’s hallway, you and Mark are happy wearing blue. Such a sad color but you wearing it makes him the happiest guy today. Everywhere you look has a dash of red and pink, hearts are hanged here and there and almost everyone has red roses on their hand... except you.

Because you’re holding a bouquet of rainbow roses.

This year’s Valentines wasn’t like any other Valentine’s you usually have. Today you have Mark.

You have Mark to hold your hand while you walk on the school’s hallway. You have Mark to look at you so lovingly that your heart melts whenever you catch him looking. You have Mark to take you out on a date after school and take cute photos in a photo booth. You have Mark to share a big drink with two straws.

And most especially, you have Mark to kiss you under the dark sky full of stars in front of your house.

His lips were soft as expected. And the way his tongue swipes on your lip in the most subtle way just makes you want him to kiss more. He smiled in between kissing when you pulled him closer and kiss him more when he was about to pull away. And oh! You did not miss the way he softly moans, such music to your ears but sad to say you can only hear them tonight.

“Did you liked my Valentine card? I left it in your locker,”

You finally pulled away and surprised him. Wiping away the spit from your mouth, you wiped Mark’s as well. He only smiled to you and you wish he would stop doing it because you’re growing a little crush on him already.

“It’s full of glitters, it’s blue and it has watermelons. Of course I love it” he said then did it again, melted your heart with that damn handsome smile.

“Good,” you said softly, fixing his hoodie and finally giving him a bear hug that he deserves. “I don’t want this night to end,” you finally admitted it.

“Then let’s not end it,”

“Wait, you’re not faking anymore aren’t you-“

And just like that Mark cut you off with a deep kiss. Nothing like how he kissed you earlier. This time he was holding you tight that you’re almost out if breath and you feel like he’s about to crush you anytime. But the way he kissed you... it’s his way of confessing his love to you.

On the following days, everything changed between you and Mark. Though it’s clear that what you feel for him is only just a crush now and he knows it, still the guy is hopeful that you will love him like how he loves you.

Mark is the perfect definition of consistent. He showed you how he feels for you each day, and each day he became better than the day before, sweeter and bolder. He was putting everything on the line for you, showering you the love he has always kept in him. That’s why, in a matter of months you finally made it official with him and you can’t wait what the future has in store for the both of you.

“What do you love about me?” you asked out of nowhere while he was in the middle of playing his guitar. It wasn’t a hard question, but it made him stop and think for a second.

“I love how you give me constant reasons to love you even more each day,” the first line was enough, but Mark has more to say. “The way you kiss my cheek in the most friendly way but it always meant something to me, how you accepted me to be your friend and now boyfriend. I love how you love me, because being loved back by you is something so special that only us can understand”

What he said moved you of course. You didn’t know that he loves you deeply even before you started the fake dating thing. And knowing that Mark is just crazy and madly in love with you, you can’t help but wish that you are too. For now all you can do is accept his love, and give back however you can. You love him of course, but you can’t keep up with his love yet.

Days passed by and your relationship grew sweeter. More sweet words were exchanged and more kisses were given. Way more. Until you find yourselves making out whenever you two are alone.

“Aw!” you express your pain when Mark accidentally bit your lip. Something so sexy but it hurt and it made you both stop what you’re doing.

“Oops. Sorry, I got carried away” he says and took a look at your lips. “You’re fine right?”

“Mhmm” You answered, but just before he was about to start kissing you again, you stopped him by pulling away. “And it’s getting late, I think you should go home,”

“But I want to stay for more,” he said with a sly smile. Caressing your shoulders and soothing your back. If course you did not miss what he was talking about for more. You and Mark are young, and being new to this relationship thing just makes you both want to explore and feed each other’s curiosity.

“When I’m ready. I promise it will be worth the wait, for now it’s getting late and you need to go home... And work with some homework,” you gave him a final kiss and thankfully he did not pry.

The relationship you have with Mark was nothing like the friendship you used to have. The friendship was still there, of course, but friends don’t kiss your neck while you’re busy reading a book or slam you to the nearest wall and kiss you wildly. Friends don’t taste your favorite ice cream flavor through your tongue in the middle of a Netflix movie, and friends don’t get affected when they see you in your thin shirt and panties only whenever they give you a surprise visit.

“It’s the weekend, why are you here?” You whine as you try to go back to sleep. Clinging to your pillow and thick blanket but your boyfriend is currently losing his mind. Nonetheless, he remained a gentleman and covered your exposed leg and butt, covering you completely and keeping you warm. “Come to bed with me. Cuddle with me instead”

The young man’s eyes brightened and quickly joined you in bed. Swinging his arm around your waist from behind and nuzzling your neck to tickle you.

“I got into my dream college,” he whispered excitedly beside your ears which made you quickly turn to him and hug him.

“That’s why you’re here! Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realized” you planted kisses on his cheek the ones he loved receiving other than your slow and deep ones. “You used to talk about this ever since we were just kids. Ugh, I’m so proud of you”

“Promise to support me no matter what?” This time it’s him who went closer and planted kisses on your face. Of course you said yes, it has been his dream, but now that you knew you’ll miss him everyday and you know that the image of him walking away from you at the airport will truly hurt you, so you can’t help but fake it.

You rolled on top of him and his eyes immediately went big, wondering why and how are you like this. You have never been this bold and confident even in your wildest times, it’s like he’s seeing a totally different side of you and he loves it.

“Want to claim your early graduation gift?” you completely surprised him and started kissing his neck, while Mark is actually enjoying the moment by caressing your ass cheeks and teasing you by tugging your panties. You wish you have the same level of confidence with Mark, because you well know that between the two of you he is the one experienced with sexual activities, so now you try your best.

“Mmm” a loud pop surrounds your room as Mark sucks your nipples through your thin shirt. Taking turns with your left boob and right boob until your shirt is partly wet because of him and he can finally see your nipples. The sight of it gave him the feeling like no other. Of course this is not his first time seeing boobs, but this is different because it’s you.

The mere sight of your boobs just made him lose his mind and not to mention hard in no time. You watch him roll his head back while you slowly grind of top of him with a ruined shirt, looking so hot than ever so he quickly switched places with you. Putting you underneath him, looking down on you with hungry and lustful eyes.

“Do you wanna touch my boobs?” You asked him so innocently,reaching for his hand that’s placed on your waist. You put your hand and his hand inside your shirt, slowly lifting the wet shirt just above your chest to expose your boobs to him.

“I wish you were my first,” he said and immediately kissing your right boob while his hand kneads the other, pinching you or teasing you, or whatever he just wanted to hear something from you. And when he stopped making your nipples swollen, Mark just kept on kissing you softly and saying ‘i love yous’ over and over again. making you smile through his lips and soft touches, it is as if he’s taking away all your shyness and making you comfortable with the situation. The situation where your boobs are expose to him, your legs spread wide and Mark is in between your legs, grinding his clothed cock on your ruined and wet panties.

You were just kissing passionately but now you felt his hands hooked on your panties and the next thing you know he’s pulling it down without breaking the kiss until it reaches your thigh and eventually remove it but the shyness crept in again, making you close your legs and bite your lips in hesitation.

“Can I? Open your legs?” He asks, kissing your neck and calming you through the way he kisses you and touch you. And when he felt that you’re ready, he tried opening your legs again and this time you let him. Letting him place his body in between your legs, smiling through the kiss as if he’s telling you ‘good job’.

Mark spread kisses around your body, kissing every inch of your being, earning a giggle from you and with that he’s happy you’re not nervous anymore.

And when Mark pull away to discard his clothes, and release his cock, you were speechless when you saw it that you removed your own ruined shirt just to be fair ask him to get back in between your legs this instant.

“Lets do this right,” he said and immediately placed a finger on your wet slit that took your breath away. Up and down, you feel his finger nothing else, and when the moment comes and Mark put a finger in, your hand reached for his hand and tried to stop him because the pleasure was too much. But your handsome boyfriend was just smiling at you, smirking because you looked so ruined right now all you can do is smile back at him. And when he insert two fingers, he kissed you deeply and caught every moan you let out, every cry of his name, every groan, or whine.

And the next thing you know you’re closing your legs as you shiver and curl your body. Trying to get away from Mark because you’re sensitive already but your boyfriend is not stopping.

“First of many,” he says and stopped to pull out his fingers. But he is not yet done. He only gave you a few seconds to catch your breath and went back kneeling in between your legs again.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” you asked with ragged breaths and tired expression.

Mark did not answer you verbally, but he did physically. Licking your pussy juices and spreading your pussy lips while his eyes are completely locked on yours.

You said ‘no’, but you didn’t mean it and the moment his tongue swipes on your cunt you grabbed hold on your headboard and hold on for your dear life. Clenching and unclenching as Mark eats you out, trying so hard to close your legs but you can’t until your second orgasm drowned you quickly and all you can do is breathe in and out heavily.

“I hate you” you said but you’re clinging to Mark and sharing your warmth to him.

“I love you,” he said and intertwined his fingers with his, kissing your knuckles before he place both your hands above your head. You voluntarily spread your legs wider for him, and with his free hand he lines his cock finally.

“I didn’t know you’re big,”

What you said made him smirk and proved your discovery even more by pulling out entirely and slamming his cock back in your wet hole. “Now you know,” he said small grunts and went in deeper. He knew what he’s doing to you is too much pleasure because it’s your first time and also he can tell by the way you hold on to his hand.

“Planning to crush my hand?” he let out a cut giggle like he isn’t fucking you deep right now. How can he do that? Be insanely cute while doing something filthy to you.

“Y/n, I’m close can I go faster?” and you can only nod.

Fucking you faster and harder than earlier, you watch Mark become someone sinful when he started focusing on his own release, kissing your boobs while he fucks you, give your ass a tight squeeze, lick your neck like you’re a fucking ice cream and whisper dirty words or word that make you shy that you didn’t know you would love hearing. Like,

“Let me fuck you again,”

“You like it deep huh?”

“Y/n, you’re worth wait, you’re mine forever”

“This is the last pussy I’ll fuck,”

And in the end he pulled out and jerked in front of you, letting his cum fall on your lower abdomen and watch his cum drip to your sheets. It’s a shame that he can’t cum inside you, it would have felt great.

“Fucking shit- that sex was great,”

He rests his head on top of your boobs, but went back to kissing you again on the lips. Apologizing for his mess, aplogizing for his words and saying ‘i love you’ over and over again.

That morning, you stayed naked with Mark in bed for a few hours just talking and laughing, flirting and kissing. It felt great having a huge progress with your relationship, especially that it’s Mark who took your virginity.

“Hey, you okay?” he was talking about your pussy because even though he didn’t went hard earlier, he did fucked you a little bit harder knowing that it’s your first time. “I meant what I said earlier. Please be my last, I don’t want to give my love to anyone but you. It’s too early to talk about marriage but, I know it’s you. I’ll love you better each day, I promise”

Comfort, warmth and safety. That’s what you felt hearing those beautiful words from him that you became speechless and crashed your lips to him.

His promise was kept every day until you both finished high school together, enjoy the summer before he leaves and make unforgettable memories as many as you can.

But knowing that he’s going away to follow his dreams and fulfil his goals, Mark worried too much about long distance relationship and how it never worked.

“Are we really together now? I’m not dreaming right?”

Your sleep was disturbed when Mark called you in the middle of the night. Today, you taught him how to bake and had a couple of rounds during Netflix and chill, so to be honest you’re really exhausted and tired.

“Mark, we kiss, we date, we have sex almost everyday. Yes baby, we’re together for almost four months already. Now can we please go back to sleep-“

“Go down open your door. I’m outside”

And the moment you opened the door for him, you gave him a ‘shh’ sign, telling him that your parents are already asleep. You came closer to him for a kiss, and told him, “it’s real. I’m real. Can you please promise me to stop overthinking, you’re making me worry,”

He didn’t answer you but lowered his head. You knew he’s sorry and he’s just doing this for you,

“I love you, Mark. I’m yours forever,” you said and kissed him again. Deeply this time, to the point that it put you both in the mood and the next thing you know Mark is fucking you while he’s covering your mouth with his hand.

When Mark left you for college your relationship went downhill and you’re both getting hurt already. Fighting is part of the relationship, yes, but the fight you have with Mark almost everyday was becoming the reason why you want to distance yourself from him. You feel caged with how he love you, you feel like he’s strangling you with all these rules you need to follow to maintain trust in your relationship but nothing is working.

Until he finally realized what he’s doing to you.

So during his vacation, he visited you and you were so excited to the core that you welcomed him with a tight hug and the biggest smile. Only to find out that he wanted to break up.

But

“It’s just until we finish college. Let’s wait and do it right. I don’t want to fight for you while hurting you at the same time. Please understand. I’m not breaking up because I don’t love you. This time off will heal us both,”

The breakup did you no good. You were sad every day and to be honest you would rather want him to nag you than miss him like this and you can believe that between the two of you, he’s the one doing great in life. It makes you want to believe that he doesn’t love you anymore. Like the man you fell in love to, wasn’t there anymore.

“Still crazy about my stupid brother huh? Come here and help feed my fishes,”

His brother, Lee Taeyong, disturbed you and your ugly thoughts while you finish the drink their mom gave you during one of your visits.

“Well, college was good to you. I see you’re back and finally opening a bakeshop downtown” he hands you the fish food as you wait for him to talk and feed the fishes generously.

“I’m very much excited to open my bakery. Want to make cookies later instead of being broken hearted?”

And as days, weeks, and months pass by, not only Lee Taeyong making you forget about Mark, he also healed your heart and won it fair and square.

It started how he makes your heart flutter whenever he holds your hand while teaching you how to bake, how praises you and tell you that you look beautiful everyday, how he makes his kitchen your own little world during closing time and you’re sitting on the kitchen counter with Taeyong in between your legs and taking your breath away with a heated kiss.

When you and taeyong started dating, you experienced true love. You didn’t want to hurt Mark but what you have with Taeyong is real and you had to hide this from him for years and years and years, until you finally graduated in college.

And Tayong proposed to you. It was the only time you couldn’t hide your relationship from Mark anymore because Taeyong was the one who confessed to him.

*this is the part where you read the first part again JEJEHEH

[uriurijihoonie]

👼 i’m no angel, i’m just me, but i will love you endlessly + lee seokmin (royalty!au)

word count: 2,676

“I’ll just be at the gardens, Margaret!”

“But Your Highness--”

“Have a good day, Margaret!” Giggling, you shut the left wing’s door of the palace and took happy leaps as you skid around the palace gardens.

You heaved a sigh, glancing at your wristwatch, indicating you still have two more hours to spare before meeting with the officials from the neighboring town.

Being a princess, as well as the future queen of your own land, is both an honor and at the same time, a responsibility you wish you didn’t have. It’s not that you weren’t thankful or you hate your life, you just sometimes wonder how it feels like to live as a normal lady in her early 20′s, enjoying her youth, has most of free time and freedom, falling in love--

“Perhaps a flower for your thoughts, my love?” A sunflower suddenly appeared in front of your face and a gentle arm around your waist was all you felt. A smile made its way on your face, grabbing the flower in front of you as you turned around, coming face to face with your actual sunshine.

Well, it wasn’t that bad being the princess and you may have missed some experiences of a normal lady in her early 20′s, but you sure didn’t escape the beauty of falling in love and being in love with a wonderful guy.

“What’s with that beautiful smile, princess? Hmm?” You were brought back to reality when a hand bopped your nose, making your face crinkle.

“Nothing, just happy to see you, Seok,” you confessed, holding onto his arms carefully wrapped around you. “Aren’t you busy today?”

Seokmin shook his head, giving you another sunny smile, “I just finished feeding the horses and stacked the hay on the stables. My morning’s all yours, my princess.”

Your smile faltered a bit, remembering your schedule, “However, mine’s not. I have a meeting with the officials in less than two hours from now.”

“Well, a princess has to do her royal duties,” He grinned at you, then Seokmin moved one of his hands to your face, softly caressing it. “I’m really proud of you, my love.” Grabbing your figure close to him, he gently kissed the top of your head.

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you inhaled his scent; the smell of sweat, fresh grass, newly mowed lawn, and the sun welcomed your senses. ‘Til then did you feel the heaviness of the gown that you wear, made in the finest, expensive silk clad in intricate designs.

You were holding one another in each other’s arms yet ironically, both of you felt how far away you were to each other. You were a royal, a true, royal-blooded daughter of the king and queen, future heir of the throne and ruler of the land, while Seokmin was just…. Seokmin. A responsible, loyal worker at your palace, tends most of the stables and gardens, a commoner, somewhere far from who you were.

Yet despite these thoughts, this anxiety on both of your hearts, you both took the risk, ready to fight with your only weapon, love.

Despite feeling the distance you have as you hold each other, somehow, in each other’s arms, you found your safe places, your homes.

The day quickly passed by and, except from your usual morning meetings everyday, the only time you and Seokmin see each other is when he accompanies you to your room, serenading you with a small part of a song and a kiss on your hand as he bids you goodnight. It was quick, careful of the eyes and ears on the palace’s people.

Yet tonight was different.

Seokmin did his usual routine of bidding you goodnight, yet after he briefly kissed your hand, he didn’t immediately let go, but instead, pulled you in his arms. “S-Seok—“

“You do know that I love you Y/N, right?” His voice was serious, yet unclear of any emotions it hold. You didn’t want to think much of it, yet with utmost sincerity, you hugged him back, tighter than his hold, “And I love you too, Seok.”

It took you a few minutes to feel each other’s warmth and embrace, before Seokmin finally lets go, his smile not reaching his eyes, yet before you could react, he turned around and walked away.

--

Morning came and you excitedly went outside the palace’s left wing, leading you to the palace’s garden. Strolling to you and Seokmin’s place at the gardens, your smile and excitement faltered when you didn’t see him. Glancing at your wristwatch, you figured you were on time when Seokmin’s finished with his tasks.

You patiently waited, minutes and hours passed yet you didn’t see any sign of him. Disheartened, you walked back inside, thinking that he was just given a few more tasks and work as the reason he didn’t meet you.

Before you enter the palace, you turned around the gardens once again, and you swore Seokmin saw you waving at him, yet he chose to ignore you and looked away, which made you confused and hurt.

That night, Seokmin didn’t meet with you either, as you waited at the palace’s library where he accompanies and waits for you to go to your room. You didn’t even noticed you fell asleep waiting for him, until one of the maids spotted you in the morning, gently waking you up.

It went on for days, which turned to a week, and whenever you try to talk to him, Seokmin does all his best that he’s occupied, even though you used your title to call his presence, Seokmin didn’t make any appearance before you at all.

It made you mad, worry, and upset. Different thoughts filled your mind, bothering you to no end. What have you done that made him avoid you? Did you hurt him? Did you do something that hurt him?

Did he realize he doesn’t love me anymore?

Feeling suffocated with all your thoughts, you grabbed a coat, slipping it on your figure as you trudged downstairs, out the palace and walked on the gardens, the moon serving its purpose as your light.

The sight of different, colourful flowers calmed you down, your heart and mind slowly coming to an ease, not when you neared to you and Seokmin’s spot, seeing his sitting figure bathed in moonlight.

Your confusion and hurt were overpowered by how much you missed Seokmin, making you ran into hi, hugging him from behind You felt his body jerk in surprise but you didn’t let go.

Seokmin sat frozen in his place, not denying how he missed you close to him as well. Before he can turn around and speak, he felt his shirt getting soaked with tears that sprang in your eyes.

“I badly miss you but I’m so mad at you for avoiding me and leaving me clueless, without any words or explanation why’d you suddenly avoided me. Don’t you know how worried I was? How I can’t sleep properly thinking what went wrong to the both of us. Did I do something wrong? Did I say anything that hurt you? Did I make you upset, mad, hurt? Tell me, Seokmin. Please. Tell me, love.”

You kept on crying in his back, unbothered by how uncomfortable your current position is and how your tears soak the back part of his shirt. You kept on crying and mumbling things until you felt him move, your position changed as he wrapped his arms on your own figure, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You feel him shaking, then his soft, warm breath beneath your ears. “I got scared of the knowledge that I know that I do not deserve you at all, Y/N,” he breathed out, his voice shaking.

“I get insecure whenever a prince from the neighboring lands visited you, overhearing how much they can offer to you while I cannot offer you anything. I get scared thinking how the king and queen will marry you off to them, and who am I interfere, right? Who am I? I am just a worker of the palace, not a prince, not a royal or noble who can offer you anything you need. I am just… me, me who’s unworthy for someone as sweet and as lovely as you, Y/N.”

Hearing Seokmin’s words made your heart ache. You never thought of him as someone who was lower than you. Long before you developed feelings for him, Seokmin was a great friend and a companion. You didn’t feel the need to put up a façade whenever you’re with him. He’s true, honest, and never complained about any task given to him.

When Seokmin made a slip of the tongue and confessed his feelings to you, you knew what his intentions were, and you know it’s innocent, pure and clean, and with his gestures, kindness, and the way how he makes you laugh, who are you not to fall in love with him?

You pulled away from him. Gently cupping his face and wiping any stray tears that managed to fall on Seokmin’s cheeks, you placed a soft kiss on his lips, smiling softly at his surprised expression. “I don’t need any of what they can offer; I don’t need any offerings at all.

“All I wanted was to be with you, love. You’re just about everything I need, and I hope you know that.” Your eyes turned soft, looking up at his face, gently tracing and memorizing his features. “You’re not just a ‘someone’, love. You’re Seokmin, the only man I love and I want to be married off to. And if it’s between the two of us, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you at all, my dear.”

You let out a laugh when you saw Seokmin shed a few tears, loving the said man in front of you more, “Aw Seok, don’t cry, please?”

You wiped his tears with your thumbs, pressing occasional kisses on his cheeks to keep him from crying. Once Seokmin finally gathered himself, he held your hands that were on his cheeks, gently moving it away. Your confused face turned into a shocked one when Seokmin suddenly knelt down in front of you, fumbling on his pants pockets.

It was now your turn to cry as tears formed on the corner of your eyes. Seokmin whipped out a bracelet and a ring, the former being made from flowers which he preserved and a plastic ring he saw from the plaza when he was out of the palace for a task.

“I’m really planning to ask for your hand in marriage a week ago, until my fear and insecurities got me, and I became a coward, avoiding you instead of talking to you,” Seokmin breathed, his shaking figure becoming visible as he looked in your eyes.

“I’m not rushing you at all, and I’m sorry if all I got you are a cheap bracelet and a plastic ring which you clearly do not deserve. I still think that—“ he cut what he was about to say next when he saw your expression “—Okay, I apologize, I will not say that. But Your Highness, will you give me the honor of marrying you?”

“Will you marry me, Y/N?” Seokmin looked at you with hopeful eyes, which turned into teary ones when you, yourself cried out, mumbling, “Yes, I’ll marry you, Seok.” And as soon as he slipped on both the bracelet and the ring on your hands, you tackled him for a hug; tears adorned your faces but the happy ones.

--

“When do we tell the king and queen, my love? Is this really alright for them? Will this—“You cut off Seokmin’s worries with another peck on your lips, tugging him as you continued your walk on the garden.

You know your parents aren’t that strict about whom you’ll marry and there’s nothing they could do to force you for an arranged marriage ever since you snapped out at them with finality that you don’t want that.

“They’re not like that, Seok. And if they ever interfere, I might as well drop my title,” You said, determined about your decision that if the worst case scenario happens, you’ll do it.

“Come on love,” Seokmin rubbed his thumb on your hand holding his, “you can’t do that.”

“If the worst case happens, dear, I’d gladly do it,” you assured him, a grin decorating your face, “but I’m confident that’s not going to happen. Did you know Mother and Father always commend you and talk about you because of your hard work and loyalty? They will love you.”

Before Seokmin could react more, you tugged him lower and kissed him on his cheek, “it’s all going to be alright. I’m the princess, future heir, and I have all the rights to pick the one I’m going to marry and it’s you.”

--

One normal day at the palace, you went to the kitchen to find something to eat, and right after you opened the cupboard, you heard the other workers mumbling about the king, the queen and… “Seokmin?”

You hurriedly went to the throne room, different thoughts and scenarios filling your head until you opened the door, seeing Seokmin clad in the best of his clothes; a simple, button-down long sleeve and a pair of faded jeans, kneeling with respect in front of your parents.

“… I know I’m no prince, nor someone royal or noble, Your Highnesses. I’m just Lee Seokmin, a mere worker for your palace, having nothing grand to offer to your daughter, only my sincerity and the promise to love her endlessly. But I’m here to ask for your permission and blessing to let me ask your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

You immediately clasped your hand to hide your gasp, tears threatening to spill on your face. You didn’t know Seokmin will do this; asking permission for you. Although you’ve talked that you’re going to face your parents together, seeing Seokmin like this warms your heart, your love for him growing as ever.

The queen, your mother, smiled at him, making you heave a sigh of relief, “You are one brave, young man, dear. From the day you started working for the palace, for the people, I have always noticed how loyal and dedicated you are in your work. I’m sure my daughter will be in good hands when it’s with you.”

Seokmin, despite the queen giving him the blessing, still cannot rejoice for the king, your father, looks skeptical, an unreadable expression etched on his face, until he gestures to you, standing at the doorway.  “It’s still up to my daughter if she accepts you, son.”

Seokmin doesn’t know whether he’ll be shocked at the fact the king called him his son or the fact that you’re just behind him, and before he can look back, he felt your arms around him and a kiss on his cheek. “I told you we have nothing to worry about, didn’t I?”

--

You were both lying in your usual spot by the palace gardens, the moon serving as your light as you cuddled close to each other, the summer wind breezing. Seokmin held your hands above the both of you, him brushing your hands with the ring on it, “I’m sorry, my love, this is all I can afford when you—“

“I swear, Seokmin, if I hear another word from you…” You trailed off, glaring at him from your side. “My parents already approved of you. Please don’t ever think so lowly of yourself.”

You faced him, worry and insecurities clouding Seokmin’s eyes, making you kiss the spaces above his eyes. “I love you for who you are and I don’t care about titles and all that, okay? Besides, I don’t need an expensive ring, I love this more.” You smiled, the ring shining in the moonlight.

“I’m sure you’ll also be a great king someday, love. I know you will be,” you proudly exclaimed, “and I’m here for you, so you don’t need to worry.”

lyrics prompt open! send in a song line + member!

[honeyjaez]

Complicated- Part 8

You shiver in the cold as you continued to walk down the empty street towards the unwanted meeting. Pulling out your phone, you see the time shown 11:30 and you slightly wished you were back in your bed, away from the cold night air. But you don’t turn around, you keep on walking for god knows what reason.

“Lee Jooheon, I swear to god this better be good”

You didn’t honestly know why you agreed to meet with the man, especially this late at night. Hadn’t you just given up all ideas of him? Obviously not since you were out there, on your way to see him, but it begs the question: but why were you such pushover? Jooheon was just like any other guy, one that just wants to hit it and quit it and his little stunt of ignoring you for the past 3 weeks only proved that. You pulled your lazily placed scarf more over your face in hopes to block the cold air. The wind was starting to pick up and you questioned whether you should just turn back around and leave Jooheon to suffer.

But once again, you don’t find the willpower to turn your feet around. “I hate him, I hate this. I should just go home. Why am I even out here? He is just going to give me excuses and use his sweet words like before and I’ll be in this endless cycle of bullshit”

You honestly didn’t know why you were so upset about the fact that he ignored you for 3 weeks. It wasn’t like you guys were a thing or anything. You just met one night, had a drunken fling and that was it. Sure, he was super sweet from the text messages and you kind of had thoughts of continuing this little relationship/thing/whatever you called it, but you certainly knew not to ever get your hopes up. Your last heartbreak taught you that. But you couldn’t help but feel betrayed. You thought Jooheon was sweet, he was kind and didn’t remind you of all the other guys you had been with, at least that’s what you thought. But then he dropped you just like that. Left you on read for the past 3 weeks with no warning after he had just sent beautiful flowers and a card. You were left to pick up where you started off, pretending like Jooheon never even existed in your life.

“Stupid idiot man” you thought again. “Jokes on him because I’m not going to forgive him just like that. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind when I see him! Just you wait Jooheon!” You began to punch the cold air in front of you, like the object of your aggressive of rather the person was right there.  You hear a chuckle from behind you and you spun around, almost losing your balance in the process.

There, standing in front of you, holding two hot coffee cups stood Jooheon, and you absolutely hated the way your stomach did flips when you realized that fact. “God damn idiot stupid man”

“Having fun?” he asked, and your cheeks grew hot as you remembered that he caught you acting like a freak in the middle of the street. Little did he know what you were imaging doing. Instead of answering his question, you just readjust your scarf, pulling it over your face in hopes to hide your blushing cheeks.

“I though you wanted to meet at the park” you mumbled quietly, knowing full well that it was loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough to show him your disdain for being out here. You didn’t face him but rather turned to the side so that you wouldn’t have to look at his stupidly beautiful face.

Jooheon didn’t respond and you were about to open your mouth again to make a smartass comment, but he offered you one of the cups before you could. His happy chuckle from earlier seemed to vanish as he was avoiding your eyes like he was a kid in trouble. “Good, at least he knows he fucked up”

“I know” he started, offering the coffee cup again “but id figured that since I asked you out here this late, I could at least bring something to keep you warm.” His generosity and soft smile pissed you off and you almost wanted to slap the coffee cup out of his hands. “What, so he thinks he can be nice to me and I’ll just forgive him?”

But instead, you just shake your head at the offering. “I’m good, I really shouldn’t have coffee this late. Now if it was-”

“It’s hot chocolate”

You stopped midsentence, dumbfounded that he happened to stumble across your one weakness and you turned back to face him, eyes slightly wider.

“O-Oh, okay…thanks…” you awkwardly take the cup from his hands and relish in the warmth it brought your hands. The two of you stood like that, neither moving, nor talking. You shuffled your feet as you waited. Looking over, you could see Jooheon look at you with a soft smile on his face. His eyes turning into small moons and his dimples popping out at the slightest change in his face. Thank god your put a scarf over your face, blocking the visible blush that had crept on you.

“I swear to god I’m going to kick his stupidly beautiful face” you think to yourself as you can feel your heart skip a beat.

“You look well” was all he said.

….

“Jooheon” you groan, annoyed with both him and yourself. You opened your eyes to see him raise his free hand.

“You’re right I’m sorry, not the point”

He leads you to the park nearby, abandoned at this time of night. He walks over to the swing set and sits down on an empty swing. You figured he assumed you would take the empty swing next to him so instead you sit down at the bottom of the small metal slide a couple feet away. You heard him chuckle softly at your act of stubbornness but didn’t mention it out loud.

So, there you two were, sitting in an empty park, at an ungodly hour in the freezing cold. Neither of you talked for a few minutes, just took in the sounds of the city as you both sipped the hot drinks in your hands. Jooheon’s silence was understanding, you knew he was trying to finalize his power point presentation explanation to you and you allowed that, hell you deserved nothing less. But it was your silence that bothered you. What was wrong with you? What happened to giving him a piece of your mind? You were going to give him all hell and tell him how you don’t play games like that. It was going to be fantastic.

And yet, you couldn’t find the ability to do so. It’s like he had this effect on you that didn’t allow you to be mad at him. It was rather infuriating.

Suddenly you heard him cough uncomfortably and it snapped you out of your thoughts. Your eyes turned to look at him, expectantly.

“Right well….” he ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess I should start off by saying I’m sorry.”

You stayed silent as you huddled closer to your hot chocolate, and he took that as a sign to continue.

“It wasn’t right. Just dropping you like that, I know that.”

“Then why did you do it?”

You voice was so small and quiet that you mentally slapped yourself in the face for sounding so weak. You heard him give a long sigh.

“It was for your own good- “he started to say but you cut him off by scoffing loudly at the statement. “If I had a dollar for every time I heard that…” you trailed off, bitterness laced heavily in your tone.

“I mean it Y/N.” Now it was his turn to have a small and quiet voice. He was looking down at his feet with a frown etched heavily on his face; you wouldn’t lie if you said that it hurt your heart slightly to see him sad. “I-…. I’m not……” Jooheon began to play with the zipper on his jacket “I’m not someone you should be associated with.”

It’s always something huh.

You just stare at him, your eyes narrowing slightly “Then why am I here Jooheon?” Your heart began to harden again as you realized where this conversation was going. Despite a hard conviction that you wouldn’t soften you still in the end had held onto hope that something good would come out of this meeting. Yet now, all you could feel was anger and bitterness. “If you called me all the way out here just to tell me th- “

“That’s not why!” he quickly interjected, looking straight at you. You were surprised to find his eyes wide with…. Was that desperation? Staying silent, you motioned for him to continue. He smiled softly at you and once again you felt your heart sped up.

“Honestly I don’t know why I called you out here…. It’s still not safe to be around me…” his gazed quickly raked over the park, like he was expecting someone. “I know I shouldn’t be doing this, me, here with you” He got up from his spot on the swing and you watched as he walked over towards were you were sitting on the slide. Your stomach was now doing flips left and right. He got all the way to where you were and kneeled so that he was about eye level with you. “But I also know that I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your eyes widen at his statement and you just stare him, unable to speak.

“Did I mess up? Yes. But you must know Y/N” he placed both of his hands on the other side of you, trapping you on the slide “I really REALLY like you. You’re cute, you’re quirky. You think for yourself and you have a beautiful soul…It’s just- “

“Just what?”

He sighed, removing his hands from the slide and pulling his weight back so that he sat on his knees. His sudden burst of energy in his confession seemed to fizzle out as he looked down in sadness. “It’s just……complicated”

Like hell I’m going to accept that answer

Placing your drink on the ground, you did something that shocked even yourself. You took both of your hands and placed them on both sides of Jooheon’s face, who slightly jumped at the sudden contact. He then looked up at you, his eyes almost like puppy dogs and you felt your anger melting. You two stayed like that for a few seconds until you effectively end the moment by squishing both of his cheeks together, playing with his face.

“U-Uh Y/N” he said slightly muffled as you continued to squish his cheeks “W-what are you doing?”

“Shut up” you just say, continuing your act “I’ve been wanting to do this since I first saw you at the bar” Which was true. The man had the squishiest of cheeks and to pair it up with those incredible dimples, it just made you want to feel what squishing his cheeks felt like. Unsurprisingly Jooheon didn’t stop you,

“You know…My last relationship was everything but easy….it was damn right messy, and I told myself that if I ever got into a relationship again, that I didn’t want anything complicated…” You watched as his eyes dropped, crestfallen at your words. “But despite my brain currently screaming at me to leave your ass here, I can’t help but stay.” You stopped messing with his cheeks and moved your hand under his chin to force him to look at you. “I like you…. why? I don’t know…. you stupid idiot man” His eyes grew as wide as his dimples as you continued. “Even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help but want to be around you. To get to know you more. I know our first encounter was anything less than normal….” you trailed off, not sure how to properly convey your emotions “All I kept thinking those few weeks you ignored me was ‘I wonder what Jooheon is doing’ ‘Is he working?’ ‘Would he like this movie?’ God” you chuckled softly remember those thoughts and giving him a half smirk “I guess you can say I’m whipped?”

But before you could continue your train of thought, everything screeched to a halt due to the sudden presence of Jooheon’s lips on yours. It took your brain a few seconds to process what was happening, but boy, when it did, you immediately responded, melting into the kiss. He placed a hand over the back of your head, like he was worried you would pull away.

Who would be dumb enough to pull away from this?

His lips were soft, too soft. Almost unreal at how soft his lips felt. You mentally cursed yourself for being too drunk the only other time that you and Jooheon kissed to remember it. Kissing his lips felt like kissing a cloud, and you were already intoxicated by them. Jooheon seemed to be enjoying it too because with every second he started to get rougher with his kiss.

But suddenly the kiss was cut short as the sound of a car door being slammed tore Jooheon from your lips. He spun his head around quickly at the source of the noise, all tense while leaving you to contemplate life after that kiss. His shoulders relaxed as he saw that the car was for the owner of the convenient store across the street, just leaving to go home.  He turned back towards you and seeing you in a dazed cause his face to break out in a big smile. His eyes were shaped like crescent moons when he smiled like this and you learned that this smile was one of your favorite things on this planet.

I’m so whipped for this man.

“I should get you home.” He breathed, not moving from his position. You only nodded, trying to form a response to that kiss in your head that didn’t make you sound like a complete idiot. He grabbed your hands and pulled you up into him into a hug. You wrapped your hands around his neck, as he wrapped his around your waist and nuzzled his nose softly into your neck.

Oh yeah. Definitely whipped

“You didn’t even ask me what my reason was” he said quietly, breathing in your scent at the same time One of your hands found their way up into his soft hair and you ran your fingers through it, earning a noise of approval from Jooheon.

“You’ll tell me eventually, I trust you.”

He pulled back, and something like guilt flashed over his eyes. But before he could so anything further, you took him by his hand, interlacing your fingers together. “For now, you get to walk me home”

He smiled in response as he led the two of you out of the park, unbeknownst to the two of you that you were being watched.

A lone figure stepped out of the shadows, wearing far too much leather for ones liking. He had a sneer on his face as he watched the two of your leave, not noticing his presence. He took out his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dialed a number. It rang a few times before a voice answered the phone.

“Boss? It’s me.” He lit the cigarette that was in his mouth and blew out a huge puff of smoke as he smiled coldly “I got some news that could finally hurt them Monstas”

Well how did my first update in almost two months go?? Lololol

I’m trying to decide which group I want to have be rival gang to the Monstas. I mean I could make a totally fictional gang but I’d also love to incorporate other groups. I already got Got7 planned so they are out. Let me know your thoughts!

Complicated Masterlist

[formerprincess]

A tale written with fangs and claws || Chapter 48

Chapters: 48/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Nolan (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alpha Liam Dunbar, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Dunbar Pack, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Werewolf Theo Raeken, Alpha Theo Raeken, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Mates, Liam and Theo are mates, Top Theo Raeken, Bottom Theo Raeken, Top Liam, Bottom Liam Dunbar Series: Part 1 of Morning Dew Pack

Thanks to an idea from Mason, Liam becomes a volunteer for a school program. In the end, Liam gains so much more than he would have ever dreamed off and...steals a child?

A few days later, Theo and Liam sat with the rest of the pack plus Caden and ate their dinner. The room was filled with the delicious smell of their Chinese food and they all chatted with each other about their days and what they had experienced. Brett and Nolan talked about the meaning of flowers. Several days ago Brett had found a job in a small flower shop and he really loved it. It gave him something to do and was also useful for the pack since Brett brought his knowledge to their garden as well. And Nolan was amazed by what different flowers could say and what you could express through a bouquet. He asked question after question and Brett seemed happy to answer.

Liam had watched them but a sigh to his right made him turn away. Tim pocketed his phone and looked like he was in actual pain. He nudged his Beta. “What’s wrong, Timmy?” “My sister won another competition and she brags in the family chat and just asked me when the last time I won a gold medal had been.” “Your sister is a bitch.” Sometimes Liam’s mouth was faster than his brain and he said things he rather not have said. Right now was a perfect example. “I mean…Sorry.” “She is mean,” Tim concluded. “And she knows very well I have never won any trophy when it came to athletic tournaments. I’m just not good at sports.” “But you’re good at other things, shouldn’t that count?” Caden had listened to their conversation and now voiced his opinion softly. “Not for them.” Tim shook his head. “Huh.” Caden seemed baffled. “I can’t imagine having such a relationship with my siblings. I love them to pieces and they love me. They’re great.” “Lucky guy. I always thought it would get better when we grow older but it got worse instead.” Liam shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t get it. If I had a little sister or a little brother, I would try to maintain a great relationship with them and be proud of them, no matter what.” “That’s sweet of you.” Tim smiled slightly. Liam had always wanted a sibling when he had been a kid. Even when his mother and stepdad married, he had wished for a little brother or sister but sadly it never happened. “I would have loved to be a big brother,” he muttered. “You are our big brother!” Tim protested and Liam chuckled. “I know but I meant an actual little kid. Someone I can teach things and who maybe shares some of my hobbies. We could have gone to lacrosse games, for example, or go to the movies or draw pictures. That would have been awesome.” “Well, why don’t you become one?” Mason now chimed into their conversation. “There are programs like Big Brother & Sisters, why don’t you volunteer? That way you could also do a good deed. It’s not biological but the next closest thing.” Liam had never thought of this option but now that his best friend mentioned it, it sounded appealing. “You think I could volunteer?” “Why not? Mason shrugged casually. “There can never be too many volunteers.” “Huh,” Liam said, “You’re probably right. But what if I’m not the right person to volunteer?” “There’s only one way to get an answer to that question, Lee.”

The thought of volunteering didn’t leave him for the next days and he even went so far to research about some organizations doing this kind of stuff. Not all were for Liam though. Some had a higher age requirement or some asked for qualifications, so it was a bit tricky. One day he complained about that to Sadie after lacrosse practice when Rod overheard them. “Are you talking about those honorary Big Siblings programs?” The coach asked and peeked out of his office. “Yeah. I’m an only child and would have liked to meet a boy or girl I could be a big brother for, you know?” Liam explained. Rod pointed at him. “My son’s school has such a program. It’s not a big one, like those official things all over the country, but they do it to help some less fortunate children. Many of their students come from lower-income families and the school has many programs and activities to support them. I could ask my wife if she can give you the contact, she’s involved in chaperoning many of those activities.” “You would do that? Rod that would be amazing! Thank you in advance.” “I see what I can do, Liam. I always believed in charity and helping others. Maybe the team should do something for charity as well.” “Uh, that would be wonderful. Good publicity though,” Sadie declared. She was not wrong. 

And Roderick stayed true to his words. Next training he gave Liam the number of the school and the name of the responsible person. A really nice teacher named Sonya Melrose and she was over the moon of Liam wanting to volunteer as a Big Brother. She talked non-stop for at least ten minutes about the program and the kids involved. It was announced as an after-school activity as the music club for example so the kids could choose if they wanted to attend or not and didn’t feel pressured. That they felt good was the most important thing and Liam could get behind that. He willingly answered the questions she then had for him and then stated his e-mail-address so she could send him all the documents he needed to fill out for his application. 

“Jesus, look at all these forms,” he muttered when he printed what she had sent him. “I’m surprised they didn’t ask for my blood type.” “I think they’re just cautious when it comes to the children. Sure, you can lie on these forms but you need some sort of basic information about the people taking part in your program,” Theo said without looking up from his book. Liam glanced over. The older sat on the couch in the library, Aka next to him and his head on Theo’s leg, and the Beta read while he gently petted the dog every now and then. It looked domestic.  “I get this. It’s still a lot and I hate filling out forms.” “It’s for a good cause. Just think of the little kid getting you as Big Brother. How happy they will be.” “You think they will be happy about getting paired with me?” Liam wanted whatever kid would be paired with him to like him and so he naturally worried about that not being the case. Theo often said Liam was likable but you could never be so sure. “They will be over the moon. You are a great big brother to our pack, even to me, and we learned in the past kids love you. Just don’t touch any finger paint and glitter, okay? Or if you do, don’t touch my truck.” “You are still traumatized by that, what?” “I see it in my dreams. It was a pain in the ass to clean it.” Liam just snickered and began to fill out the forms. The sooner he could send them back, the sooner he would get a Little Sibling. 

****** It took a few days after Liam sent the forms back before he got the confirmation. The school had approved of everything Liam sent them and also mentioned that Ayla Mays, Roderick’s wife, had vouched for Liam being responsible and a good addition to the program so they would spare the interview usually following the application. Instead, they were happy to welcome Liam as Big Brother. Corey was the only one who witnessed the little victory dance Liam made when he received the email and for a moment Liam worried the other would split his face in half with the large grin he had on but Corey promised he would be fine. “If the program is as good as it looks, I might join as well,” he then added.  Liam smirked. “I’m sure you would be an amazing Big Brother as well.” Corey shrugged. “You never know. I will consider it if they don’t kick you out after a week,” he joked and laughed at Liam’s piqued face.  But then Liam’s phone announced another mail and he got all the details at what day the program would take part and when Liam should arrive at the school to meet Mrs. Melrose so Corey was safe of any teasing from Liam. 

****** When the day finally came, Liam arrived a few minutes earlier than appointed and admired the colorful paintings on the walls, all undoubtedly made by the children attending the school. He heard singing from one classroom and music from another one. Rod had not been wrong when he said the school offered many activities after school. 

“Are you Liam?” A black haired teacher in her early thirties had stepped out of a classroom and made her way over to him in large steps. She smiled and extended her hand to greet him. “I am, yes. Nice to meet you.” Liam shook her hand and smiled. “Perfect, perfect. My name is Sonya Melrose and I’m in charge of chaperoning the Big Brother – Big Sister program. I am always happy to welcome new volunteers. These kids deserve someone they can look up to and who goes out of their way to make them feel special. By the way, thank you for filling out all the forms I sent you. This makes it easier today and we can jump right into it. You would wonder how often people discuss with us if they have to fill out everything.” “I don’t get why. I hate filling out forms but I know why I’m doing it so there’s no point in discussing.” Liam shrugged. 

“I agree, I never understand it either but that’s how it is. Now let me explain to you how this will work. From experiences, we learned the kids feel comfortable in the school environment while meeting new people, so for the first few weeks, the meetings would take place here. We can schedule it so it works with your plan as well. It’s also to make sure the kids are in good hands, I hope you don’t mind that. The forms are one thing but seeing how the children react to the volunteers is another thing.” “Oh, I understand, don’t worry. There are people without good intentions in this world, sadly. Meeting here is fine by me.” “You can paint, play or read, use whatever we have in the classroom and in the playground behind the building to have a fun time with your Little Sibling,” she explained. The big smile gave away how much she loved what she was doing and how much she cared for the program. It made Liam smile too. The world needed more teachers like her.

“Based on the questionnaire you filled out, I picked a child for you in advance and I’m positive you both will get along great. His name is Landon, he’s currently nine years old. He is a bit shy, don’t mind that, and sometimes he gets scared when he’s around people he doesn’t know well. But he is willing to participate in this program yet we never had the perfect person for him until now. I think you are a good match.” “I hope so. He sounds like a great little guy.” Liam was excited to meet the little boy. The shy part reminded Liam about himself when he had been very little. His friendship with Mason made him get out of his shell, but Liam remembered little him hiding behind his mother’s legs when strangers approached and barely talking to neighbors or old friends of his mother’s.

Mrs. Melrose now led Liam into the classroom. It was a large room with a little library and reading corner with bean bags in one corner, some colorful tables littered with paints, brushes, and other material to get creative, a spot where you could build with toy blocks, another spot littered with plushies and toys, a door across the room led outside and to the playground. Big windows soaked the room in sun and it was a happy place. A girl and a woman were at the tables and finger-painted with glittery colors. They laughed together and showed their hands to each other. A man and a boy were playing soccer outside. “He’s over there.” The teacher pointed towards the reading corner and Liam followed her over. In a red bean sack sat a thin boy wearing a grey shirt and jeans shorts with little red sneakers, completely lost in a book concerning the animals living in the ocean. “Landon? The young man I picked as your Big Brother is here. Would you like to meet him?” Landon looked up and the first things Liam noticed were his big blue eyes. Now, Liam himself had countless encounters where people gushed to his mom how pretty his eyes were and how many girls would kill for those eyes. It always made Liam blush and he didn’t know what to say. To him, his eyes were not the most striking feature about him (He didn’t know what the most striking feature about him was but nobody asked for it anyway, so thank you very much). Yet, Liam couldn’t help but notice the boys’ eyes. Seemed like the first thing they had in common, as superficial as it may seem. It was a start. Landon now looked at Liam with curiosity written all over his young face. His skin was fair, almost pale but maybe he had been sick before or didn’t like to be outside very much, and a button nose. His smile was shy, hesitant as if he was afraid to show emotion, but he couldn’t hide his curiosity. Liam crouched down so they were eye to eye. “Hey, Landon, my name is Liam, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand as he greeted the boy and Landon looked at it for a moment before he shook it.  “You’re an L too, just like me. It’s nice to meet you.” His voice was still a bit hesitant but the usual child-like innocence came through. “I’m an L as well, yeah.” Liam smiled. Mrs. Melrose squeezed his shoulder and then excused herself so the two boys could get to know each other better. 

Landon held the book up. “I’m reading about the ocean. Do you like the ocean? Dolphins and sharks live there.” “Oh, I like the sea very much. Turtles live in the sea as well.” “I like turtles.” Landon skipped a few pages in the book and showed Liam a large picture of a turtle swimming underwater. Liam sat next to him and admired the picture. “But my dad says they are weak compared to sharks. He likes sharks because of their teeth.” “And your mother? Does she also like turtles?” Landon shook his head. “I don’t have a mommy. She died when I was born.” He fidgeted with the edge of the book. “It’s my fault she is dead, you know?” “What?” Liam had not really expected a child to say that. “Who told you that?” Landon’s eyes widened in panic and he seemed to realize what he said. “No one. She went to heaven when I was born so I know that.” His chemosignals turned sour and sad. Liam made a face but then he tried to be positive. “I’m sure she is your personal angel and watches over you every day. My personal angel is my grandfather. He watches over me as well.” “You believe in angels?” Landon asked curiously and Liam nodded. “Sure. Why not?” “Because angels are dumb, says my dad.”  “Hm, maybe he says that because he as never seen an angel before,” Liam thought out loud.  “Have you ever seen an angel before?” Now Landon was all ears and completely excited. His eyes sparkled.  “I have never seen an angel but I know there are some things on this earth most people don’t know about.” It was the most innocent description Liam could give. He sure as hell wouldn’t tell a child about werewolves and witches.  “Liam, want to draw angels with me?” Landon pointed at the crafting tables. Liam nodded.  “I’d love that very much.”

****** When Liam came home he and Landon had drawn for a while and then read the book about the ocean together. They also talked and learned some things about each other. Liam now knew Landon’s favorite color was yellow and he liked to play soccer. Liam promised him they could play soccer next time and the boy beamed happily at him. They parted on a very good note and Mrs. Melrose had also expressed how happy she was about that.  “He really opened up to you. You two had an instant connection, a wonderful thing to see.” “Thanks for pairing us together,” Liam replied and then bid goodbye to drive home. 

At the house, his pack was literally pouncing him and asking all kind of questions. “How did it go?” “Did you get a boy or a girl?” “What did you do?” “How are they? I bet they love you already.” Liam laughed. “It’s a boy, his name is Landon and he’s nine. He is the sweetest little boy I ever met in my entire life. A bit shy but his teacher said he’s always like this. He reminds me of me in elementary school, before my IED really broke through and all, and not only because he’s also blond and has blue eyes. We colored and then read a book and he asked me all kind of questions. His mom died during childbirth and so it’s only him and his dad.” “He sounds lovely,” Maya said with a smile. “A great match for you. When are you bringing him over?” “The school would like to keep the meetings in the school environment for the first few weeks so that might take a little while,” Liam explained while he grabbed himself a bottle of water and opened it to take a sip. “Next time we want to play soccer. He likes playing soccer.” “With you as Big Brother, he will learn to love lacrosse as well,” Theo teased lightly and kissed Liam. “Dinner’s almost ready, by the way. Maya and Lori were in charge.” “Ah, thank you, guys, I’m starving.”

****** “And that’s my best friend Mason, we’ve been friends since kindergarten. He’s like my brother.” Liam showed Landon pictures on his phone and told him who every single member of the core pack was. Landon was incredibly interested in learning more about Liam and his friends and he loved seeing pictures. Now he blinked up at Liam. “I’m your brother too, right? Your Little Brother.” He smiled. “Yeah, you are. I have two brothers now. You and Mason.” The more time he spent with Landon the more he liked the little one. Three weeks since they first met already and every meeting was still filled with lots of laughter and learning things about each other. 

Liam continued to browse through the pictures and landed on one picture of him and Theo posing for the camera with their arms wrapped around each other’s waist. Landon pointed on it. “Is he like your brother too? You seem to like him very much.” To be honest, Liam had not called Theo his boyfriend yet and just said he was someone really important to Liam. He had no idea how to really breach the subject of bisexuality and same-sex relationships to a child and he didn’t know how Landon had been raised in this regards. Now he huffed. “Theo is my...boyfriend actually. I love him and he loves me.” Landon frowned. “Boyfriend? Love him like a mom loves a dad?” “Yeah, just like that. We kiss and hold hands and all that stuff.” “Hm.” The boy thought about this. “My dad says two men can’t love each other. It’s against nature. And two women can’t love each other but he still watches this with his friends.” “He watches it with his...Oh god!” The mental picture made Liam pinch the bridge of his nose. What type of parent watched those videos when your child was around? He groaned internally and Landon poked him.  “Liam, are you alright?” “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He decided to cover his horror. “Say, Landon, do you also think men shouldn’t love men?” Landon tilted his head. “I don’t. Is he nice to you?” Liam chuckled. “He’s very nice.” “Then I’m okay with it. Can you show me more pictures?” “Sure.” Liam smiled softly. Children were so innocent and it was proof how much some parents influenced their kids. He was happy Landon seemed to be too carefree to have any prejudices against Liam and his relationship. 

They landed on a picture of Liam and his mom and Landon grabbed the phone to study it. He then studied Liam. “You look like her. She is very pretty. But you don’t have her eyes.” “I have my father’s eyes, yes. My mom is pretty, I agree.” “Do you have a picture of your father in your phone too?” Liam shook his head. “My father is not with us. He’s gone.” “Oh. Is he in heaven like mommy?” “No. You know, sometimes mommies and daddies don’t stay together and daddies leave. He’s somewhere in this world, I don’t know.” Liam waved it off. “But my mom married a few years later and he became my dad. That’s him.” He showed Landon a picture of Lucas. “What about dad, Landon? Does he helps you with your homework and plays soccer with you? Want to tell me something about him?”

A wave of sadness hit his nose and Liam frowned in response to that. He looked down at Landon. The blonde boy played with the seam of his shirt and moved his shoes on the floor. “He doesn’t like soccer and he’s mostly with his friends,” he explained sadly. “He doesn’t really play with me, he’s busy.” “I’m sorry.” Liam raised a hand and Landon flinched suddenly. The movement came so fastly and unexpectedly Liam was surprised and his hand lingered in the air ere he dropped it again.  “It’s alright,” Landon said. “Are those your dogs?” He had clicked on the next picture in Liam’s phone. 

Liam’s eyes lingered on the boy’s form for a moment. Something was strange about the way Landon talked about his father but he could not really name it. He could not shake these thoughts, not when he further talked about his friends and pack and not when he was at home and sat in the kitchen, eating a yogurt. 

“I think Landon’s dad is a jerk,” he suddenly announced to Theo who had stepped into the kitchen, skateboard under his arm.  “A part of me tells me I will regret asking but why is that so?” Theo grabbed a bottle of water.  “He seems too busy to spend time with his son. He’s also a homophobe.” “Two very unfriendly traits, I give you that but so what? There are many parents out there who would never win a Parent of the Year award and yet they still take care of their kids. My father also never really spent time with me, you know that.” Theo stepped to him. “I also know this look on your face, little Alpha. You’re not interfering in that boy’s family drama!” Liam made a face of outrage. “I wasn’t going to!” “I know you,” Theo reminded him and kissed him. “You can’t save anybody from any bad experience. If there was something wrong, school surely would take action. Stay out of it,” he warned Liam and pecked his lips one last time.  “Yeah, yeah, go to the skate park and stop patronizing me!” Liam shooed his mate away and Theo really left him alone. 

He wasn’t alone for long when Tim came home. He unceremoniously dropped his bag on the floor. “Do we have any headache pills us weres can use?” “I’m afraid not,” Liam denied. “Classes that hard today?” “There was this group in the coffee shop and their laughter...Do you know those people with those loud and annoying laughs? The whole group laughed like that. I can still hear it. I’m the last person to make fun of anyone but my head hurts from their laughter so much,” he whined and rubbed his temples.  “I don’t think pills will help you but maybe Ever has a potion she can give you. Just go ask her.” “She’s on a date with Caden. I think I will take a nap.” Tim dragged himself upstairs just when Brett entered the kitchen. 

“What is this? Relay?” Liam asked sarcastically.  The tall werewolf yawned and stretched. “I like working at the flower shop but today was insanely busy so leave me alone!” “Uh, someone’s cranky. Is this just because of work?” Liam questioned and continued to eat his yogurt.  Brett dropped in the chair next to him. “I need sex again! Don’t laugh! I considered this and I came to the conclusion I need the physical activity. My hormones are in overdrive.” He gave Brett a strange look. “Just sex or do you want someone like Ever? Someone to go on dates and kiss and be cute.” “He gave her a teddy bear the other day. Who wants that? I’m not made for being a romantic.” Brett shuddered as if that was the greatest horror he ever saw.  “It was an owl, not a bear. She likes owls,” Liam corrected and Brett rolled his eyes. “Also, I’m sticking with what I told you at the zoo. One day you will find someone and then it will come easily to you. And you probably get as much sex out of it as you want.” “Talking from experience, Dunbar?” “Hey, I have an amazing sex life.” Liam grinned. “Have you seen the man I’m sharing a bed with?” “I hate you so much right now!” Brett shook his head. “The thought of me being in a relationship just doesn’t work for me. I’m not made for that type of commitment.” “One day you will find...” “Shut up!” Brett grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and threw it at Liam’s head. Liam’s hand shot up and he caught the apple without missing a beat. Brett stared. “Fuck, I forgot Alpha reflexes are faster.” “I’d love to play lacrosse with you now,” Liam smirked again and Brett huffed.  “I bet you would. But for now, I need a cold shower. Ice cold.” He spun around and stormed upstairs.  “One day you will find your one true love and it will be wonderful!!” Liam yelled after him just because he could and he knew it annoyed Brett. None one ever said the Alpha was mature all the time. 

****** “Hey, buddy, I made some cupcakes yesterday and brought some for you. Hope you like double chocolate?” Buddy had somehow become one of the nicknames Liam had for Landon. The younger always giggled when he heard it and this time was no different. But then he stared at the box full of cupcakes as if he was not sure if they were there or not.  “You can bake?” “Yeah. I bake and I cook and even want to make this my career after college. Why is this so surprising?” Liam sometimes had a hard time to understand where Landon was coming from.  “Dad says cooking and baking is the woman’s duty and it’s gay for a man to cook. But you are a man. I don’t understand.” He shook his head. “Hey,” Liam knelt down. “There are many women who cook and bake for their families, that is true, but I also like it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl; when you like something you like it. And nobody should judge that. This is important, okay? Never let somebody judge you because you do the things you like. Not even your dad.” Landon gnawed on his lower lip. And then he asked very quietly: “Well, can you show me?” “How to cook?” Liam inquired and Landon nodded.  “I’d love to. When Mrs. Monrose says you and I can meet somewhere else, you come to our house and we cook together, okay?” Landon beamed happily and pressed the box with the cupcakes against his chest. “I’m so happy you became my Big Brother, Liam.” “I’m happy too, bud.”  This time Landon didn’t even flinch when Liam raised his hand and ruffled his hair. Liam took it as a sign that the kid trusted him more and more. 

“I also brought a new book about the wildlife in Africa. Want to read it with me?” “Uuhh, we’re currently talking about Africa in school. Did you know the Lion King takes place there?” “I had no idea. You’re so smart, buddy.” Liam smiled at the nine-year-old and Landon gave a shy smile back.  “I like to learn things,” he simply brushed it off. It was a habit Liam had noticed a few times already. While his little buddy was usually a happy child, he seemingly had a hard time accepting praise. It again reminded Liam of himself as little kid, especially when he had been under the influence of his biological father.  “You're not used to people praising you, huh?” Liam stated matter-of-factly. “The teachers tell me I do good.” Landon nodded. “What about your dad? Isn’t he proud of you and tells you that?” Landon’s face turned passive. “My dad is my dad. He takes care of me,” he said defensively.  “Of course, of course. He does. I didn’t mean to insult his job as a dad. I’m sorry, bud.” He felt sorry for making the kid mad. His little friend just shrugged.  “Can we read the book?” “Sure.” 

And still, Liam couldn’t shake the thoughts off. He had a problem with how Landon’s father acted and he couldn’t get it out of his head, even when he was at home. 

“Stop that!” Mason scolded when Liam voiced his thoughts.  “Stop what?” Liam questioned innocently but his best friend flicked his nose.  “You’re projecting. Just because you had a piece of shit as a father doesn’t mean Landon suffers the same fate. Yes, his dad might not be the greatest but you are comparing the two of you and that’s unfair. You went through totally different experiences than Landon himself. Stop seeing yourself in him!” “You sound like Theo,” Liam grumbled while he rubbed his nose. “Why do the two of you always have to be that rational?” “Because we can and somebody has to make sure you’re not completely losing your marbles. Because right now you’re obsessing about saving the kid from something that isn’t even there. Or has he ever gave you any reason to believe his dad abuses him?” “No.” Liam had to admit that. There were no unusual bruises or contusions on his arms or legs or in his face and he didn’t act like he was in pain. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am just comparing him with me at age seven. I should probably stop that.” “You can bet I am right and you absolutely stop that,” Mason confirmed with a firm nod.   

****** Liam was running late. He had stopped by a coffee shop near Landon’s school to grab himself an iced coffee and a muffin for his Little Brother but the line had been so long that when Liam finally received his order, he had to run back to his car and sped towards the school. 

How he managed to arrive on time was a minor miracle but it gave him time to chuck down a large gulp of his coffee. And just because life was unfair and the cup could, the lid opened and the liquid spilled down the front of Liam’s light blue shirt.  “Son of a fucking bitch!” Liam cursed loudly and an elderly woman glared at him when she passed by his car. He paid her no mind and grabbed a tissue to wipe away on his shirt. He growled.  “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” The stain was huge and there was no way Liam would show up with coffee all over his shirt. He jammed the cup into the cup holder and then reached for his bag sitting in the backseat. It contained his lacrosse gear which he had washed and already packed in his car for the next training. He dragged the bag towards him and opened it, digging for his jersey.  He found it and pulled it out with a triumphant yell. Liam didn’t care the slightest he was still in his car when he pulled his stained t-shirt over his head and put his jersey on. Not the best outfit but for now it would do and Landon surely wouldn’t mind. His second-favorite color was blue so he probably would like Liam’s navy blue jersey. 

When he was finally dressed Liam dashed out of his car and sped towards the school’s entrance while locking the car over his shoulder. His sneakers squeaked on the linoleum floor when he dashed down the hallway. He almost ran into Sonya Melrose and she squeaked. “Shit, sorry, Mrs. Melrose.” The young Alpha stopped in the doorframe. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” “No, no. I’m alright,” she declared yet she put a hand over her heart. “But good that I see you before you speak to Landon today. He’s in a bad mood but won’t tell me what’s wrong. He seems distressed.” She pointed to the crafting table where Landon sat but didn’t craft and cuddled a plush octopus instead. His posture was sunken as if he wanted to curl up in himself and didn’t want anybody to see him. Liam immediately pitied him.  “I’ll see what I can do. Thanks for telling me.”

The twenty-years-old made his way over to Landon and sat down on one of the chairs next to him. “Hey, thundercloud, who has eaten your bowl of sunshine this morning?” He asked light-heartedly. The scowl on Landon’s face didn’t disappear but he cast a look at Liam.  “Nothing.” “Are you sure?” He didn’t even think about it when he reached out and put his hand on Landon’s naked arm. The boy was wearing a red t-shirt and so Liam didn’t even have to move any clothing, however, the minute his fingers came in contact with the skin, Liam saw black veins creep up and he hastily withdrew his hand. He didn’t even mean to but he had begun to take Landon’s pain. The little one was hurting! “Landon, are you hurt? What happened?” The scared look he gave Liam made the Alpha’s stomach churn. He had a flashback to seven-year-old him, scared and hurt from his father’s hits. “I fell. From the swing, yesterday after school.”  Tears shimmered in Landon’s blue eyes and he blinked. “I fell on my arm. I’m clumsy.” “Shh, shh, it’s okay?” Liam gently rubbed Landon’s back. “Did you dad take you to a doctor after it happened?” Landon hesitated and his little heartbeat skyrocketed. “He said I should stop crying. Crying is weak. It would teach me how to be strong.”  “Oh, baby boy,” Liam said, voice filled with emotion. “It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. That’s normal, everyone does.”  Landon wrapped his arms around himself. The movement made his sleeve lift a little bit and Liam saw the bruise on his upper arm. He stopped short. His childhood had been filled with falling from swings and other things on the playground and so Liam knew the bruises coming with those accidents. That didn’t look like a bruise from falling off a swing. It looked like someone had violently closed their hand around Landon’s upper arm...

“Landon, come here.” Liam moved closer so nobody could overhear what they were saying. “Look at me.” Landon did and there were still tears glistening in his eyes. It broke Liam’s heart. Physical pain he could take but he couldn’t take the pain from a hurt soul.  “My biological father, he was very mean to me. He shouted and said very mean things and he liked to make me cry and then yell at me. But he also hurt me. Very often. I’m telling you this to show you it’s okay if you want to tell me something. I’m not going to be mad at you, it’s not your fault. But, buddy, does your father hurt you?” The child looked absolutely terrified at that and while he shook his head so fast Liam worried he would give himself whiplash, his heartbeat gave it away. He was panicking. “My dad takes care of me. He is my dad,” he repeated the same sentence from days before. Liam knew from experience putting pressure on the kid wouldn’t get him anywhere, so he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the table nearby. “Okay. I’m sure he does.” He wrote down his address and his phone number and then he carefully folded the paper to hand it over. “Let’s do it that way. This is my address and my number. I want you to have it. You can always call me, no matter what time it is. Whenever you fall off a swing again, you can call me, okay?”  Landon’s fingers trembled when he reached for the piece of paper. “Okay,” he said meekly.  “Do you want to write down your address as well?” Liam gently prompted and Landon hesitated again, But then he grabbed the pen and scribbled down his own address. Liam took it and put it in the pocket of his jeans.  “What do you think? Should I grab one of your favorites books from the reading corner and read it to you? Your little friend can read with us.” He pointed at the plushie and Landon pressed it against his chest. He nodded. It was probably for the best to give him something to take his mind off. Poor little guy.

Liam got up and walked over to the reading corner. He knew where Landon’s favorite book stood and grabbed it without looking.  When he turned around and walked back to Landon, the younger boy stared at him, wide-eyed and shock clearly written all over his face. Liam had no idea what happened but his buddy looked like he saw a ghost.  “Is this your last name?” He questioned and grabbed the seam of Liam’s jersey with his hand.  “On my back? Yeah, that’s my lacrosse jersey. My name is Liam Dunbar.” They had never talked about last names since they met they always had been Landon and Liam. And now Landon stared at Liam and suddenly flung himself at the young Alpha. His tiny arms wrapped around Liam’s waist and he pressed his face against Liam’s stomach.  “Whoa, hey, what’s wrong, buddy?” He really started to worry, especially when Landon began to sob quietly. Liam gently wrapped his arms around Landon as well and held him. It seemed like Landon needed someone to console him. 

Their little moment was interrupted by some ruckus at the door. A man had arrived and argued with Mrs. Monrose. Liam’s sensitive nose picked up the smell of alcohol and he frowned. That guy stank like a whole bar but since he still stood on his own two feet and walked straight meant he was used to drinking a lot. Landon’s teacher tried to talk to him in a civil manner but soon gave up and made a beeline for Landon and Liam. “Landon, your father is here to pick you up,” she announced tightly and Liam felt Landon tense. And then his friend moved away from Liam as if he had been burned and wiped his face.  “I’m coming,” he said and then walked over to his father. It turned Liam’s full attention to the man for the first time and he felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs.  He watched how the man grabbed Landon by the hand and dragged him out while chiding him for not coming home after school immediately. Landon said nothing and just took his father yelling at him while he led them out and Liam felt like throwing up. Blood boiled in his veins and his stomach twisted in so many knots, it hurt. His throat was dry and he couldn’t speak but even if he had been able to, Liam was at loss for words. A thousand thoughts in his mind and nothing made sense. This was surreal. 

A car engine broke him out of his stupor and Liam ran outside, after Landon. Man and child were gone and it felt like a switch had been turned. Liam worked on autopilot when he got into his car and drove back home. Mind still spinning it was probably good that way since Liam paid no real attention to the traffic. Tears were burning in his eyes when he thought about Landon and how sad he had been. His heart ached and his stomach twisted in some more knots again. 

Theo’s truck was parked in the driveway when Liam came home and he immediately called for his mate when he entered the house. Or rather yelled. “THEO!!! THEO!!!!” “Library!” Theo came running and they met in the hallway. “What’s wrong? Liam, what happened?” He gripped Liam’s shoulders and checked him for any superficial injuries. “Are you hurt? You’re shaking. Baby, what’s wrong?” “I need you because I’m about to lose it. I don’t know how long I can hold it in. Please, help me! I can’t.” He grabbed Theo’s wrists.  “Calm down, deep breaths. Just try to focus on my heartbeat. And then tell me what happened. I’m here, everything will be okay.” But it didn’t help Liam, not this time. His grip on Theo’s wrist had to hurt but his boyfriend didn’t flinch. “Landon was sad today and he was hurt. There was a bruise on his arm and then I met his father. I know his father.” “Liam, Liam, deep breaths. You’re close to hyperventilating. Take deep breaths.”

Liam felt tears prickle in his eyes again when he now shouted at Theo. “Don’t you get it?? Landon’s father is the same man that tormented me for years! His father is Emmet Dunbar!” He felt the tears beginning to fall and he could do nothing about it. “And that means the boy a teacher in a program chose as my Little Brother...” “Is your actual little brother,” Theo finished the sentence and then frowned. “Are you really sure? Sometimes people look alike.” “I know my biological father! I know his voice, it’s etched in my memories. Besides, Landon said the same things I used to say. My dad is my dad. Crying is weak. Nothing’s changed, the man is still the same alcoholic he was back then and he still hits his son.” “Did Landon tell you that? That his father abuses him? I get why you’re thinking it but did he confirm?” Liam glared at Theo. “He didn’t have to. I know how a child acts when it’s a victim of domestic violence,” he snapped and Theo flinched. Liam felt immediately sorry for snapping at his boyfriend.  “I’m sorry. I...I just don’t know...” He shrugged helplessly and wiped away some tears. He was way over his head with this and he had absolutely no idea how he was supposed to react. What was the protocol for this?  Theo proofed how great he was at reading Liam because he didn’t even comment on the Alpha snapping at him but wrapped his arms around Liam and pulled him into a tight embrace. Having his anchor’s warmth and scent around him helped Liam feel more grounded than before, though his head was still spinning. He wrapped his arms around Theo’s waist. 

“What is your plan? What will you do?” Theo inquired after they stood there for a while and just held each other.  Liam shook his head. “No idea. I feel like I should drive there, to their house.” “And then? If you’re right, and I’m unfortunately pretty sure you are right, your father won’t be the right person to have a normal conversation with. You’re riled up, I don’t want you to make a mistake.” It was his mate’s logical way of thinking that Liam needed. He was impulsive and ruled by his emotions, he needed Theo to keep him in check. Running to the next fight surely was not the right solution to their problem. But really, Liam didn’t know what was...

He groaned and let go of Theo to lean against the wall and slide down until he sat on the floor. Theo sat next to him and took Liam’s hand in his.  “This is so crazy. What are the odds? I mean, come on, who would have thought? He met another woman and had a child with her three years after my parents divorced.” Liam played with Theo’s fingers, it helped him stay as calm as he could at the moment.  “It’s undoubtedly crazy but that kind of explains why you and Landon had such a connection right from the start.”  “Hm, maybe. I don’t know if this brotherly bound is really a thing if you didn’t grow up together.”  “Looks like it is,” Theo stated and gently bumped his shoulder against Liam’s. It made Liam smile weakly. 

And then his phone rang. When Liam pulled it out of his pocket, an unknown number flashed on the screen and he accepted the call with a confused look. "Hello, it’s Liam.” First, there were just sniffles and Liam was inclined to hang up when a small voice spoke. “Liam, hello?” “Landon? Its that you? Hey, buddy. What’s going on?” He put the call on speaker so Theo could hear better.  Landon sniffled again. “He got mad when we came home. It is really bad. He...he said he saw me hugging you and he didn’t like me hugging strangers. He got really mad and he punched me.” The child started crying again and it broke Liam’s heart. A powerful wave of the need to protect rushed through Liam.  “Where is he now? Is he still around?” “No, he...went to his friend. Can you come and get me? He’s drinking again.” It wasn’t even a question, Liam was already on his feet before Landon had finished the question. “I will be there as fast as I can, buddy. Stay calm, okay? I’m coming.”

He ended the call, already on his way out and towards the car. Theo hurried after him and grabbed his arm.  “You can’t drive, not in the state you’re currently in. Let me drive!” He said and unlocked his truck. Again, Liam was happy to have this man.  “Thank you,” he said when he climbed into the passenger seat. Theo just nodded and turned on the ignition. The couple didn’t speak for the drive aside from Liam telling Theo the address. 

The neighborhood Landon lived in consisted of small houses and trailers with parched gardens, trash on the brown grass and in the dusty streets. Liam had expected his little one to live in a sad neighborhood but this outstripped his concerns.  Theo parked in front of a very small house with brown paint on the walls and a grey roof. The color looked bleached from sunlight and spalled. Cigarette ends and empty beer bottles and cans littered the yard and an empty camping chair revealed Emmet’s favorite place to sit. Nothing gave away that a child lived her, it looked sad and unfriendly. How could Landon play here and be a happy child? Liam’s stomach twisted again.  “I’m happy you are here with me. I don’t know what will happen when I meet him,” he mumbled towards Theo. Theo hummed. “I’m your anchor. You won’t lash out on him, you’re better than that. And I’m here to remind you of that. Don’t worry.” It still felt better to have that one person by his side who could reign him in and had always been good at keeping a grip on Liam. It made the situation a little less overwhelming. Liam still knew he needed his anchor now more than ever. 

The front door was crooked, paint also spalling down there. It made a rustling sound when Liam knocked. “Landon? It’s me. Are you there?” He listened for anything inside and heard nothing at first but then tiny footsteps came from inside and then the door slowly opened. Landon peeked out and when he saw it was just Liam (and well Theo but not his father) he wrenched the door opened. Tears were streaming down his face and his left cheek was red, already slightly swollen from undoubtedly Emmet’s hand. Anger boiled up inside Liam but he willed it down for now and knelt down.  “He talked about you! Said I’m just as much of a sissy as his first failure of a son. He called you Liam, the weakling. Always, when he was really really drunk and angry.”  “Shh, forget that it’s not important anymore. I’m here now and he will never ever yell at you,” Liam promised him. “Where did he hurt you? What did he do?” “He punched me and grabbed my arm.” Landon showed him the bruises on his upper arm. Theo growled behind him and Liam pulled his little brother in a protective hug.  “I’m here now. He will never hurt you again,” he vowed to the crying child in his arms. Landon pressed against him and fisted Liam’s shirt in his hands.  “Please. I’m scared. I don’t want to get hurt anymore.” “I know, I know.” Liam gently rubbed his back and kissed Landon on top of his head. 

“Liam...”, Theo said but was cut off by: “What is going on here?” Liam’s froze. The slurred words behind him alerted him to the arrival of the person he really didn’t want to see. He had heard him approach and his wolf snarled inside him. He pried himself away from Landon and slowly got up to his full height. 

“Landon, what are you doing with this losers?” gurgled Emmet.  Liam turned around. He took his time accessing his father, the bloodshot eyes, the filthy appearance, and how he swayed on his feet. It disgusted him. The young Alpha slowly stepped closer to his begetter. “Don’t remember me? Come on, did you drink your brain away that much? I get that I got older but really, you don’t remember the face of a boy you last saw in court when he was seven years old? That’s bad, even for you.” Realization gleamed in Emmet’s eyes and he scoffed. “Would you look at that, my failure of a firstborn. I’d have never expected you pussy here.” He clicked his fingers. “Landon! Come here!” Except Liam blocked the way between his father and his brother. “He is not a dog! And he won’t obey anymore. I won’t let you abuse my brother any longer.” Emmet laughed scornfully. “How cute, the two brothers found each other. I don’t have time for that. Landon, go and buy me some beer at the gas station before I make you!” Liam growled and made a few more steps. Theo’s hand closed around his wrist and stopped him from inching even closer to Emmet. The distance was better to stay in control. But Emmet saw it and glared at the two young men. “Don’t tell me you are a fag. That is disgusting. You aren’t my son.” “Go to hell. He surely doesn’t want to be your son,” Theo coldly chimed in and if looks could kill Emmet would have died right then and there.  But Emmet kept on drunkenly rambling. “This happens when you don’t have a real man in your life. I am ashamed. A weak sissy, nothing more. Fucking cock-sucker!”

Liam growled and was faster in front of his father than he would have imagined after he yanked his wrist out of Theo’s grip. One hand grabbed the front of Emmet’s shirt and pulled him in, the other raised as a fist and ready to strike. “You deserve to get every bone broken in your lousy body. You’re calling Landon and me weak? Look at you! You’re hitting innocent children, people smaller than you! Your life is so fucking miserable, you have to hate on others and you drink so much, you can’t stand straight anymore. There is nothing I want more than to ram my fist into your face and only stop when you have no teeth left. Do to you what you do to others,” he snarled menacingly. “But you know what? I have a mother and she made sure I never turn into the type of person you are. I have many reasons not to become like you, you little rat! If I were you I would thank my mother and my friends, especially my boyfriend, that you’re leaving this confrontation on your own two feet and not in an ambulance. Because they all made me better than you will ever be!” 

Liam lowered his fist and then shoved Emmet back. He stumbled and fell over his camping chair. The man landed on the ground with a groan and glared at his son. Liam snarled again and pointed a finger at him. “Stay there and don’t you dare to get up or I will forget any reason I have and beat the living crap out of you.” He looked back at Landon who hovered in the doorway. “Go and grab your favorite things. There is no way I’m leaving you with him.” He glanced back at Emmet on the ground. “Stay or I will rip you apart!”

He turned around and followed Landon into the small house. A small kitchen with an old table and open living room area with a very small tv and a dirty old couch. Landon’s room was right next to the kitchen, barely big enough for the single bed. There were no real toys there or posters and Landon just grabbed a very worn donkey plushie and two comics and put them in a small yellow-red backpack. Liam helped him in stuffing a few clothes inside and lastly Landon grabbed a blue ball but then he nodded.  “That’s all?” Liam asked. It was very little but this room was so empty and not right for a child. His father had absolutely not cared for his son at all.  Landon looked around but then ran to his bed and pulled something from under the mattress. It was a photo of a petite woman with bright blonde hair sitting on an elephant’s back and waving at the camera. “That’s my mom. I stole the picture from a friend of hers.”  “We will get you a nice frame for it when we’re home. Now, let’s go.” He took Landon’s hand and together the brothers left the house again. 

Theo had guarded Emmet who still ranted about his weak sons and how much of a faggot Liam was but had not moved from his spot on the ground. He paid Landon no mind when they passed.  “Come on, none of us should have to stay here any longer,” Liam exclaimed and Theo nodded.  This time, Emmet had to have the last word: “You look like your slut of a mother!”  He yelped in pain and when Liam looked over his shoulder he saw Theo had stepped on his hand. From the crunch of the bones, Liam knew the fingers had been broken.  His mate looked down at Emmet. “Did that hurt?” Theo’s face twisted into the typical cold but menacing facade he could do so well. “Good. Let me tell you, Liam may have his reasons to not give you what you deserve but I don’t share the same sentiments. So if you keep insulting them, you will learn why they call me psychopath.” He left Emmet behind and joined Liam and Landon to the car and the man fell back on the grass.

When Theo unlocked the truck, Liam slipped in the backseat with Landon and Theo made sure they were soon on the road. It gave them a breather and Liam leaned back.  “Are you okay?” He asked his little brother and Landon played with the strap of his backpack and then looked panicked. Liam smiled sadly.  “It’s okay, you can tell me. Tell me when you’re hurt, it doesn’t make you weak.” Landon considered it and then he pointed at his arm. “Hurts.” Liam reached out and gently put his hand on Landon’s arm. He concentrated and the black veins began to crawl up his arm. Landon gasped. “How are you doing that?” Frankly, Liam had only thought about easing the pain, not about an explanation.  “It’s an ability only good big brothers get. And you have the best big brother in the whole wide world,” Theo suddenly said calmly and glanced in the rearview mirror.  Landon looked at him and then at Liam and he smiled for the first time that day. He inched closer and hugged Liam’s waist. Liam smiled and hugged him back while he searched for Theo’s glance in the mirror. “Thank you,” he mouthed and Theo nodded softly with a soft smile. 

This day had been crazy. He just had found out he was a big brother and then he had more or less stolen the child from his begetter. But Liam had not been able to leave without Landon. The boy deserved a happy life and he couldn’t get it with Emmet. Liam had no idea how his life was now going to be but he had Landon and Theo and the others and together they would make it work. They always did. 

Author’s note:

That’s Landon

I know this chapter focused heavily on Liam but it was an important chapter. I waited so long to write it, and now it fits perfectly with the rest of the story. It's another one of the things I wanted to write so badly and I was excited about it. It also adds another layer to Liam's personality and we will see how this goes from here. How he does justice to his new role. I cannot wait to see what you think about Landon and everything that transpired in this chapter. As always, tell me in the comments.

Have a great day!

[hopeful-starship]

Welcome to the 1st installment of “Chloé finds cool ask lists and answers them despite nobody asking”! This one is courtesy of @bgbygirl, go check them out!

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?  Heck yeah i do. I haven’t found mine yet, but he’ll come around. I believe it.

💌- diary or journal? I’d rather journal! I sometimes just write out my feelings on loose paper when i feel bad, but i’ve rarely kept a diary for more than two weeks.

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? Holy WOW this is difficult. I’m a mix of chunks from a lot of characters, but i feel like i’m the closest to Cath from Fangirl (a wonderful book by Rainbow Rowell, which i highly recommend you check out).

💕- are you crushing on someone? I was literally three days ago (you’ll know if you follow my crush chronicles tag - which you probably don’t because it’s not that interesting), but i’m thankfully getting over it. I love boys and i love crushing, but he wasn’t good for me - at least not in a romantic setting.

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? I’d say rain. If i’m kissing a boy, i probably find him handsome, and i want to be able to see him. 

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis I’m on my laptop so i can’t use emojis, but i’d say my aesthetic as a mix of “80s rock dad”, “horny on main” and “pastel cinnamon roll”. It’s a weird mix. 

🍼- what is your favorite memory? The 2nd time i met Captain America in Disneyland Paris this summer. I went to shake his hand (because the 1st one did that) and he said “no, i’ll hug you if that’s okay”, and that was THE CUTEST SHIT. I blog a lot about Bohemian Rhapsody at the moment, but i love the Avengers A LOT, and Steve is my favorite, so that was very special.

🌸- what is your favorite flower? Not orchids, surprisingly! I like them, but i like how the word sounds more than i like the flower itself. Is lavender a flower? I’m going to say it is. Lavender is my favorite flower.

💖- have you ever been in love? I’ve said i was in love a couple times in the past, but looking back, i don’t think i was. I was very fond of them, but i don’t think i was -in love-.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla? Strawberry! (Side not: i’m realising i changed a lot over the past few months, because the answer’s been vanilla my whole life)

🍯- describe your favorite smell I have two, and they’re extremely unrelated lol. The first one is speculoos cookies being baked, and the second one is that generic boy perfume smell (my friends say that doesn’t exist and i’m crazy, but i know what i’m talking about and i hope you do too)

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? I generally have trouble with this question. The first thing that came to my mind was: i wish i could be sure everyone i love knows i love them, and i wish i wouldn’t constantly doubt they love me back.

🍪- cookie dough or cookies? Cookie dough. Cookie dough always. Any day of the week. I love cookies, but cookie dough is my favorite thing.

☕- coffee or tea? Neither! I don’t like hot drinks!

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? I’m fascinated by the ocean, so give me those mermaids any day!

🍂- what’s your middle name? My middle name is Jeanne! It was apparently two of my great-grandmothers’ name.

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? I had no idea what this meant, so i googled it and apparently my sun sign is Pisces, my moon sign is Taurus and my rising sign is Leo! Which apparently means i’m affectionate and emotional (very true), like to be praised and appreciated (also true), and am even-tempered and calm (not so true).

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? I love sitting/lying next to a window and listening to the rain fall while reading or writing!

🍭- how tall are you? I’m 6′2! (188 centimetres) (basically a fuckin giant)

💒- which show would you want to live in? I know the question probably means TV show, but i’m twisting it around and understanding musical, because damn i love theatre. My answer is Mamma Mia. OF COURSE IT IS. I want to spend my days dancing around a greek island and singing Abba songs at handsome dudes. (this might be a later question, but spoiler: Mamma Mia is my favorite movie)

🎄- what is your favorite holiday? Christmas! I fuckin love Christmas! I’m currently sitting in my Christmas pyjamas (yes, on November 17th, leave me alone)

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite? I’ve never had any candles (my mum thinks they’re too dangerous), but i generally like those that smell like cinnamon and apples.

🎶- favorite song right now? You may have noticed i have a bit of an obsession with Bohemian Rhapsody. My current favorite song is It’s Late by Queen, which i discovered when i was extensively researching their discography after seeing the movie. Oh my wooorld, that guitar riff gets me railing.

💘- 3 ways to win your heart? 1) Sing/play any instrument ever 2) Be kind 3) Have a lot of hair The truth is, if you’re a guy and you’re (even remotely) kind and attractive, i’ll fall in love with you, even if it’s for 20 minutes.

🍩- current mood? A bit weird, if i’m honest. I’m generally good, but it feels like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and a depressive episode is threatening to drop on me.

❄️- what is your favorite season? This is a difficult question for me, there are things i love and things i dislike about every season! But i’ll say spring, because i can go out without a jacket, but it’s not too warm yet.

💍- your current relationship status? Married to Gwilym Lee (jk lol, i’m single as all hell - someone date me please, i’m so alone)

📷- a photo of yourself

Here, have this picture of me being a Captain America fangirl in Disneyland Paris (i’m going back in three days and the excitement is UNREAL)

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? OH NO. I’m not one of those who can’t accept a gift, but i can’t help but wonder what i did to deserve it and stress about it.

🕊️- 3 habits you have? 1) Arriving at college at least 30 minutes before my class starts and sitting on the floor outside of the classroom, reading or watching videos 2) Dancing a bit too enthusiastically at bus stops 3) Skipping class when i feel overwhelmed and hiding in the library/in a café with something to eat and something to drink, and watching a heckton of videos in hopes of making myself feel better

🦄- how do you perceive yourself? Well it depends on how i feel when you ask the question - but generally, i think i’m a rather good person, or at least i try my best to be. I’m as kind as possible. It’s going sound conceited, but i’m a bit too smart for my own good - which means i overthink everything and end up in a state of existential crisis 9 times out of 10. Physically, i’m mostly ok with how i look - although it sure would be nice if i could find ONE guy who thinks i’m alright too.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you? I’m not answering this question, because i don’t want to end up in aforementioned state of existential crisis. Feel free to tell me how you perceive me though, i’m interested!

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys I’ll answer for guys, since they’re what i’m attracted to! Smile is something super important for me. I love hair, especially when they’ve got a lot of it (hello Brian May). And i seem to have a thing for cowboys and guitarists. (...again, hello Brian May)

🍓- one secret about yourself The main reason i obsess over “celebrities” (and even daydream about being with them) is because it’s easier than falling for guys i know irl and getting rejected.

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush? Like a FUCKIN IDIOT. During the first week i had a “thing” for my former crush, i couldn’t speak to him without stumbling on my words, and i almost fell on him on the tram. I can’t function properly when i like someone.

💔- the reason behind your last breakup? I’ve never been with anyone, so i’ve never had a breakup; so i’ll tell the reason behind my last rejection. Thankfully it didn’t hurt too much, he was in love with one of my friends and she loved him back, and i just knew they’d be good for each other. So just before they got together, we talked it out, just to clear the air, and so he knew that i wasn’t fully in love, i just liked him because he was cute and kind, that of course i wouldn’t do anything to interfere with their relationship, and that i really wanted us to stay friends. He was an absolute peach and he’s one of my best friends today!

💬- what your last text message says? It’s two heart emojis! (to a friend, don’t imagine any boys are talking to me)

🎥- what show are you currently binging on? I’m not watching any show at the moment, i’m trying to catch up on my Watch later Youtube playlist! But i did have half a Harry Potter marathon with a friend this weekend.

⛅- what is your morning routine? Brush my hair, tie it up in a ponytail (or a bun if it’s really greasy woops), wash my face, shower, dress, pack my bag, have breakfast, fiddle on my phone if i have extra time, go!

💗- who do you miss? I miss my friend Antoine. I know we’ve seen the best of each other, but sometimes i just miss the guy he was when i was 15.

🥀- last time you cried? Wednesday afternoon! While, you guessed it, watching Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s been 4 times, but i still cry a lot.

🎁- when is your birthday? March 3rd!

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience? I try to steer clear of anything even remotely scary or creepy, i hate that kind of stuff.

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you? I really don’t care as long as the connection’s there, but life has shown that i get along better with people that are a bit older than me!

🎀- any question you want I’m going to make this question into “where do you hope to be in three years?” because i think it’s interesting. If my plans don’t change, i’ll be in Brighton, taking another degree which i’ll hopefully enjoy this time. Which means i’ll have my own flat again - i hope it’s somewhat near the sea, so i can go quite often. I also hope i made friends that are on the same wavelength as i am, and who knows, maybe even found a good guy?

If you read this whole ordeal, thank you so much lol! That was really fun! I hope you have a nice day!