#i wish having a really strong fixation didnt cause me so much anguish and make me so embarrassed and that i could just like chill out like | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mellotronmkll · 2 months ago

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I actually cant overstate how badly i wish i could shut the fuck up about they might be giants like its really hard to explain because its like so just do that then but i literally cant but its like I actually really do genuinely desperately want to also im actually holding myself back and saying about 5% of what i want to say and its omfg. Like i actually really dont want to be like this like enough already but i cant. Anywaysssssssss

#i wish having a really strong fixation didnt cause me so much anguish and make me so embarrassed and that i could just like chill out like #its just SO frustrating its hard to express how frustrating it is #and its the stupidest thing its not a real problem #at least its better than it was cos like literally in june and july my intense fixation was kind of lowkey causing my life to fall apart cos #i couldnt sleep or focus which is insane. but happens to me all the time and its like i cant even explain what thats like and how much like #its just omfg like so crazy the mix of like happinness and joy from whatever fication mixed with the like anxiety and guilt and dread #because im banging my head on the wall to try to be normal and i Cant its just like Godddd i dont know .#having autism is like. literally not fun even though its really fun

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