#i will watch and hope to goodness we get a s3 crossing over the characters of s1 and s2 (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

[rebelcracker-s]

hey goosebumps 2023 fandom does anyone have pictures of the ending of the ending of the novel that was supposed to wrap up season 1? like i know it didnt actually wrap anything up and it ended on a huge cliffhanger but like. if there was like anything new and anyone's willing to share it that would be very appreciated :3

[suniloli]

JUST FOR KICKS

29 May 2024

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: approximately 3 swear words, sexual innuendo, fluff

Setting: Prison (between s3-4)

Summary: Today’s weather was perfect for an impromptu prison soccer match. Prison goers — children, adults and spectators alike — become involved, including an enthusiastic you and uncharacteristically playful Daryl.

Author Note: Finally back from my 3000 year hiatus!!!! Here’s a little piece I wanted to get out before I lost it. This is more of an innocent one that I wanted to write (although it’s SUPER predictable ….) I hope the POV jumps are easily followable. Am working on another Daryl fic atm. Enjoy! - Sól

The gorgeous spring sun in the sky and the soft warm breeze were the perfect conditions to be outside and enjoying life. Well, what ‘life’ you could experience within the prison’s metal fences in the middle of an apocalypse anyways. 

This sort of weather was your favourite. It reminded you of your sporting days before walkers came to be, especially the excitement you felt before your games where you’d soak up the sun and let it fuel your competitiveness. Like a videogame character harnessing the sun’s power to unleash their most powerful combat moves. 

It boosted your spirit, and reminded you that even in this world, beauty could still be found. You just had to be open to it. 

And open to it you were. When a couple of the teenagers came excitedly kicking around a soccer ball they’d found, you couldn’t help yourself. Many others felt the same way, which is probably how you all ended up in a massive soccer game across the courtyard, children mixed with adults, the majority of prison goers spectating on the sidelines. 

You managed to get enough to have a 6 v 6, exactly three teens and three adults on each team. Your side included some of your closest friends, Glenn and Sasha. On the other side were Carl and Michonne, and some other Woodbury residents you’d seen around and shared a laugh or two with. Today felt the closest to the life you had before, which was one of sport-filled weekends. So, naturally, it brought out your zealous streak. You were going to win. 

“Guys. We need to fucking smash em’.” you asserted. 

“Y/N! There's kids here…” Glenn jokingly admonished. 

“We’re 15 man…” one of the teenagers pointed out. 

“Anyways…they’re gonna lose whether they like it or not. I’ll play up front. Glenn…you’re quick, so you’ll be with me…uh…” you drifted off, attempting to come up with a game plan. You were so focused that you hadn’t realised the run crew had arrived back and were driving towards the gates. Glenn and Sasha were watching you with amusement. The kids were waiting for your word. You were the professional after all. 

“She’s super into this,” Sasha smirked. 

“Hell yeah!” Glenn smiled. “She’s really good at soccer. We’ve had many conversations about it. Mad skills.”

Sasha patted his shoulder. “Guess we’re gonna have to step up our game then.” 

After deliberating with the kids for a bit, you and your team were ready. 

It was time. 

The whistle — an actual whistle someone had found — was blown by Carol, and the game was on. 

Oh, was the high shrill music to your ears. 

Kick-off commenced, the other team passing it amongst themselves for the first couple of minutes. Of course, since there were no real referees, and since Michonne happened to be right there, you gave her a little shove as you passed, giving her a teasing wink. 

“You bitch!” she laughed as she began running hard for the ball. 

You dashed forward, intercepting a pass meant for her, and crossed it over to Glenn on the left wing. 

Ever the quick pizza delivery boy, he sprinted up the sideline, onlookers getting excited. Making a few minor mistakes, he still managed to manoeuvre the ball around Carl, who you noted was surprisingly fast on his feet, and kicked it back to you sprinting up the centre field. You caught it with your left foot and continued on. Two defenders were gaining on you. 

You juked the defender on the left, rolling the ball under your right foot. Chipping the ball over the remaining defender’s head, you booked it straight to the goal. 

The goalkeeper’s face was full of determination. His hands were out in front of him, feet moving from side to side. In the second that you spent looking at him you could tell he was a bit unsure, but his confidence was unwavering. You admired it. 

However, you used his inexperience to your advantage. 

You faked to the right, watching his eyes follow your movement, then swiftly cut to the left. His stance faltered, giving you just the right amount of time to hit the ball with your left foot. You could vaguely hear kids yelling in the background, Glenn’s shrill laughter, and Sasha’s cheers filling the air. 

As you kicked the ball, its trajectory started outside the line of the makeshift goalpost, and about halfway it began to curve inwards.  You held your breath as you saw the ball curving towards the very top left corner, waiting with bated breath as the goalie took a gigantic leap towards it. 

The ball sailed and sailed and sailed. 

Until you witnessed it pass just inside the post, and the satisfying *thud* of the ball hitting the ground behind it caused your teammates to erupt in cheers.

Pumping your fists in excitement, you saw Glenn sprinting up to you with his arms outstretched. 

“HOLY SHIT!” 

“Oof!” you breathed, getting thrown to the ground in a giant bear hug. Before you knew it, all of the kids, including those of the opposition — a definite product of over-excitement — began stacking on top of the both of you, until all anyone could see was a massive pile of bodies in the middle of the courtyard. 

Laughter and screams and fun filled the air. You didn’t even care about the goal anymore. The innocence and presence of the moment were enough to bring happy tears to your eyes. 

Rick wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead as he closed the gate behind the car. Looking towards the courtyard, he mumbled to himself in disbelief. “Are they playin’ soccer?”

As Daryl hopped out of the passenger side, he responded a bit incredulously. “Looks like it.” 

Opening the boot to retrieve the supplies they brought back, Maggie started giggling, seeing her husband with the ball. “Look! Go Glenn!”

Glenn had the ball and was sprinting up the sideline. At that moment, the three of them observed his and your play. 

“Damn girl…” Daryl breathed upon seeing your goal. Rick let out a low chuckle. Seeing his son playing was like being transported back to a time he thought he’d never get to experience again as a father. 

When Glenn tackled you to the ground, Maggie let off a grunt of amused disapproval and began jogging towards the fun. 

"She’s gonna’ suffocate!" Maggie shouted playfully, her voice full of warmth as she made her way onto the field. Slowly, everyone removed themselves from the stack, allowing you to get up and have a laugh. From where Daryl was, it looked as if you and Glenn were trying to coerce Maggie to join in rather animatedly. Cute. 

As the game continued, Rick grabbed Daryl’s shoulder breaking him out of his little trance. “You comin’ or what?” he grinned. 

Daryl looked to Rick, and after a couple of seconds gave him an upwards nod and made his way down to the sideline with him. 

“Ya’ refereein’ or somethin’?” Daryl asked Carol with an amused smirk.

“Something like that…your girlfriend is kicking some major ass.” 

“She ain’t…whatever,” Daryl grunted. Looking away and at the field, he saw Michonne pass it off to another player, resulting in a tying of the score and a multitude of cheers. Eyes drifting away from the scoring team and Carl’s silly victory dance, Daryl caught sight of you again. 

What you were wearing closely resembled tiny soccer shorts which showed off your long, toned legs. You almost always wore cargo pants, so that was certainly a sight for sore eyes. He stared as the muscles in your quads and glutes expanded and retracted as you ran with an elegance he’d never seen before. 

“You might wanna close your mouth before you start drooling big guy.” 

A faint blush crept up his neck. Turning to shoot Carol a glare, he growled a low shuddup before being interrupted by the ball landing at his feet. A bit perplexed, he looked down at it, and up again to see a bunch of teens running at him and obnoxiously calling for it. 

Daryl couldn’t help but smirk after being encouraged by Carol to pass the ball back. The enthusiasm of youth was so infectious, that even his reserved self couldn’t hide from it. 

“Come on, Daryl!” you suddenly exclaimed, causing him to glance towards you. Hearing your voice made a rush of warmth spread through his chest.

As Daryl looked over towards you, you were caught off guard by the handsome smirk he donned, his eyes glistening with something that made your heart skip a beat. Your cheeks flushed slightly, but not from the sun or exertion. 

“Gonna kick it or what?” You called out, a bit of a challenge in your tone. Daryl’s smirk widened, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. Without missing a beat, he booted the ball toward the centre of the field. Before either of you could say anything else, Carl beat you to it. 

“Come play Daryl! We need another person!” 

Carol nudged him in the side. “You should go…” 

Daryl looked between Carol, Carl, and finally towards you. You bit your bottom lip and gave a single shrug of your shoulders. The vivaciousness you exuded was alluring. Looking towards the plumpness of your lips and back up, Daryl’s eyes locked with yours and stayed there. It was like you were inviting him to join. Carol hid a knowing smile as he continued to stare. 

Daryl couldn’t leave you hanging, nor could he not indulge you (or so he told himself). Squinting his eyes slightly, he took a deep breath to steel his resolve. Your eyes were like magnets drawing him in. You were beautiful. 

 “Alrigh’...”

As Daryl started jogging onto the makeshift field, a couple of people started cheering and chanting his name. You giggled as he approached you. “Ma’am.”

“Sir.” you mimicked, hands on hips. You subtly lowered your eyes and gazed at him through your lashes. “Ready to get pounded?” 

“W-what?” Daryl stuttered, suddenly pretending he was interested in the play being made across the courtyard. 

“Are you ready to lose?” You laughed, pinching his side while watching his ears go red. He swatted your hand away. 

“Ain't I playin’ wit’ ya?” 

“Nuh-uh. Didn’t you hear Carl say they were short one?” You waited for a beat, before suddenly shoving Daryl backwards and running to chase the ball. “So better get into position, Dixie!”

Stumbling back a step or two from your playful shove, it was like a switch was flipped. Hearing his name being called and encouragement being thrown his way from the sidelines, Daryl was nearly completely overwhelmed. He wasn’t used to so much positive attention in this manner…especially your…blatant flirting? He almost didn’t know how to deal with it. 

Almost. 

Seeing you turn back to give him a wink made a certain desire erupt in his midsection. It ignited a type of fervour in him. 

It’s on girl. 

Daryl’s heart raced every time the two of you made eye contact. Not having really played a proper game of soccer before, it was difficult for him to try and manufacture some sort of on-field play with you. Although he’d touched the ball and passed it off to others a few times already, he was slightly trepidatious. The timing just wasn’t right for you to engage with him. 

So, he just decided to ‘go with the flow’. 

Daryl had to admit, this was some of the most enjoyment he’s had in a long time. Especially with other people. But mostly, he enjoyed watching you enjoy yourself. 

You were everywhere, laughing, shouting instructions, encouraging your teammates. You were truly in your element. It was like watching a different person, a side of you he hadn’t seen before. And damn if it wasn’t attractive.

Before Daryl knew it, one of the kids passed the soccer ball back to him, and he glanced up to see you were headed straight for him. He started towards you, eyes narrowing in determination. 

You saw your chance. Daryl finally had the ball and was within proper distance. You started sprinting towards him, admittedly a bit distracted by the glistening sweat on his arms accentuating every muscle fibre there. Focus Y/N. 

As you two closed the gap between each other, Daryl stuck his other leg out and pushed you for good measure, tripping you. 

Your momentum carried you forward, causing you to nearly fall head-first into the ground. At the last second you caught yourself, letting out a huff. A series of concerned ‘Oooos’ could be heard from onlookers. “What the hell Daryl!” you yelled at his retreating form. 

Admittedly, the action pissed you off a bit. Two can play at that game, chiselled arms be damned. 

You quickly pushed yourself from the ground and sprinted at full speed to catch up. You were there in no time. Getting ready to shove Daryl back from behind, you squared up your shoulder and collided with him. It was enough to mess up his footing, and the ball skidded off to the side.  

There was an element of shock across Daryl’s face as he turned around to find you behind him, causing your annoyance to completely fizzle out and turn into something more akin to lust-fueled amusement. The two of you locked eyes, and Daryl’s expression turned roguish. 

The next few seconds felt as if they were in slow motion. The ball sat stationary fifteen metres away, watching, waiting. 

The air cracked with unspoken tension. Your heart was almost beating out of your chest in anticipation of what was to come. Everyone in the vicinity had vanished from your awareness. Now, it was just you, Daryl, and the ball — although really, you were both more focused on the presence of each other than the game now. 

Without wasting another second, you lunged forward and grabbed a fistful of Daryl’s sleeveless shirt. You heard him release a grunt of objection, but it was enough for you to pull him backwards and allow you to lead the chase. 

You heard Daryl yell smart ass as his footfalls sounded behind. You were so incredibly giddy that you felt like a little girl being chased by her little boy crush in the playground.

You were about three metres from the ball before you felt his calloused hand grip your shoulder, half shoving you in another direction. Catching a glimpse of the rarely-ever captured excitement in Daryl’s face, you began giggling as you tried to retain your balance. 

“Hey!” you puffed out. 

“Better watch ya’self” Daryl panted, trying to battle for possession of the ball which now had both of you fighting for it. 

“Better watch your —” you grunted, holding him back with your forearm “— self!” 

Just as you were getting the upper hand, Daryl used his arms to grab you and hastily shove you to the side. His touch set you ablaze. 

As he began running again, you managed to hook your ankle around his own, effectively tripping him over. 

As Daryl stumbled, you couldn’t help but burst into laughter, laughing harder when Daryl’s hand caught you behind your knee and he pulled you down with him. You felt an intense surge of electricity travel up your leg and remain at your lower navel. 

Realising you were now trying to escape his grasp and army crawl towards the direction of the ball, Daryl swung himself from his side onto his stomach, scrambling to get a better hold of your slowly retreating legs. 

Surprisingly, you managed to drag yourself another metre or so before Daryl got a proper grip on your thighs, his fingers heavily dimpling into the skin there. Laughter never dissipating, Daryl smiled to himself, having trapped you on the grass. 

Twisting to lie on your back, you continued to squirm in Daryl’s solid grasp. You were able to sense every bend and every shape of every finger taking hold of your thighs. Daryl pushed himself up on his knees, now leaning over your squirming form. 

“Ya shouldn’ta never told me ya’ were ticklish…” Daryl said quietly before he released your legs and started attacking your sides with his hands. 

“NO!” you squealed, thrashing your body in an attempt to get away from Daryl’s large hands. 

Daryl couldn’t help but be mesmerised by the way your eyes sparked with joy. Your tousled hair strewn all over the grass with the sun beating down on your tanned skin made you look otherworldly. Like an angel even his own imagination couldn’t conceptualise the beauty of, but was still here in front of him, seemingly reciprocating his affections. 

You were laughing so much that you were gasping for air. Not wanting you to suffocate, Daryl slowly stopped his hands from moving and held them on your waist for a few seconds to allow you to get your bearings.

Staring into your eyes, he revelled at the softness beneath his fingertips. He focused on the small movements of your abdominal muscles beneath them, and watched your lips part as you pulled in heavy breath after heavy breath. His eyes were drawn to your lips once again as you wetted them with your tongue. 

Moving your hands from above your head to softly grasp Daryl’s at your waist, you huffed a small laugh and gazed at him with wide eyes. You admired his boyish handsomeness. 

“You. Are a prick.” 

Daryl let escape a small snort of his own and shyly chewed his lip. “Only fer ya’ pretty girl…” 

A small breeze picked up, slightly swaying the section of hair hanging from Daryl’s forehead. The way he was softly watching you made you want to pull him down to you and close the distance —

“Either play or get a room!” 

“Yeah! Jesus Christ…” 

The heat of the moment was ruined by a herd of teens resuming the play which you’d seemingly both forgotten all about. 

Both realising the…compromising…position you both were in, the two of you abruptly pulled away from each other, both going equally red from embarrassment. The sounds of people hollering and some mildly inappropriate noises filled your ears, adding to the awkwardness. 

“Oh my god…” you managed, sitting up and covering your face with your hands. 

Daryl stood and offered you his hand which you sheepishly took. He waited until you looked at him before he gave you his half-smile, reserved only for you. You’d never admit it, but it always managed to make you melt. 

“Ya’ actually ain’t that bad at soccer.” 

You shook your head in jest. “Shut up.”

*I DO NOT give permission for my work to be used/adapted/copied in any way.*

[obxsummer]

Reunion // Ghost of You

summary below cut to avoid spoilers for s3 ep1-3

let's jump right on in.

part of #obx3celebration

navigation -- series masterlist

--

summary: after being rescued from your island paradise, you're unexpectedly ripped from the pogues and pushed straight into another fight for your life.

warnings: kidnapping, violence, cursing, minor character death

--

The noise of an airplane propeller shook you from your sleep. Ever since you touched this island, you were sensitive to every little sound or movement. Sitting up sharply, you looked to see Pope doing the same. The two of you were quick to catch sight of the plane dancing in the clouds and started shaking friends awake.

“Guys, plane. Plane!” Shaking JJ’s shoulder aggressively, you collected your ratty shoes from the sand and ran towards the shoreline. 

Taking a look back, you could see the uncertain expression on JJ’s face. In the time you all had spent on the island, he had made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to leave. This was JJ’s element, his safe space. He was with you, his family, and they were making things work with scraps. This was the Full Pogue experience he had always dreamed of.

“Hey! We’re down here!” John B was suddenly next to you and waving his arms aggressively to draw any ounce of attention to your group. Pope and Cleo took off up the field to light a fire in hopes that the pilot would see.

A defeated sigh left your lips as the plane looked like it would continue on before making a last-minute change and turning.

“Guys, guys. He sees us!” Kie shook your arm in excitement.

“He’s gonna go to the pond. Come on, come on!” Your brother slung his shoestrings over his shoulders and grabbed Sarah’s hand to tug her along up the hill.

JJ caught up to your side as you guys jogged behind your friends. You could tell he was displeased. You tried to understand why he would feel this way, but part of you just wanted to go home. Watching the aircraft make a successful landing, your boyfriend let out a sigh. 

“Come on.” His fingers were rough as they intertwined with your own. You squeezed, trying to give him some sort of comfort about the idea as you caught up with everyone.

The stairs of the cockpit lowered just above the water as a middle-aged man climbed out. He was quick to join in on the noises of celebration coming from Cleo, Pope, and John B. “Well, what do we got here?”

John B glanced back at your group before responding. “You know, just some castaways.”

“Well, I’ll cross that off my grocery list. Uh, hang on! I got just the thing for y’all.” He disappeared back into the plane for a moment. “Two things you need on a deserted island: first aid and rum!”

The bottle splashed in front of Sarah’s feet. She seemed distraught at the sight in front of her, no doubt fearing that her father may be involved in some way. You didn’t blame her. The constant feeling that you need to look over your shoulder was exhausting, but you were hoping it would change.

“So, what’s the story? You guys sank a boat?”

“Jumped off one,” You replied, watching as Sarah bent down to grab the alcohol out of the water. For some reason, you weren’t as hesitant to get out of here as you probably should’ve been. After a month or so of living like this, you would take the Chateau back in a heartbeat. 

The pilot chuckled. “Well, have no fear. Jimmy’s here. I got you.”

Cleo cheered and threw her hands in the air. “Well, all hail Jimmy, guys! Let’s go.”

The pilot, Jimmy, welcomed you all as John B led the way into the plane. Kie gave you and JJ a look before following wordlessly. It seemed a little too good, but who were you to say anything?

You turned to JJ, taking the chance to check-in. “You okay?” Your hand rested on his collarbone, thumb tracing his jawline as you observed him. His whole body was tense; the fun demeanor you’d witnessed after cliff jumping yesterday disappeared without a trace. JJ’s expression was sharp when he made eye contact with you. Thrown off guard, you frowned and dropped your hands to your side. 

“We said we’d never go back, remember? You said you wouldn’t. And here you are, running after a plane that would take us right back into hell?” He shrugged his shoulders before looking away. You were a bit surprised by his hostility, feeling like he was blaming you for everyone else climbing onboard. 

“Who said we’re going back to the OBX?” You countered as you gestured towards the plane. “There’s no way that thing would fly that far anyway. We’re all gonna be together no matter what.”

JJ let out a heavy breath and refused to look at you. “You don’t get it.” He hauled his boots up before brushing past you to head after your friends into the aircraft. You turned on your heels, the fight leaving your body at the idea of him being so upset over leaving this place. There was no point in arguing right now. 

With a huff, you climbed on board, thanking Jimmy for letting you all come before settling down between Sarah and Kie. The idea of being able to take a shower and put fresh clothes on was amazing right now, so you tried not to hold onto JJ’s poor attitude personally. 

“So, what are you doing all the way out here?” JJ asked as the engine started up. 

“I got a little guide outfit in Saint Vincent. I was spotting fish. You know, the usual. Wahoo,” Jimmy replied as he began flipping switches and steering. “I’d hang on to something. Gets a little spicy on takeoff.”

You shared a look with Pope, the two of you not big airplane people to begin with. Grabbing onto nearby straps, you clenched the fabric tightly. The plane jerked once before things steadied out and you could eventually see the water and island far beneath you from the sky. 

Taking a deep breath, you leaned your head against the metal behind you in hopes that it would calm your racing heart. You were grateful for the opportunity to hopefully go somewhere a little better, but the lack of safety equipment in this plane made you nauseous. 

“Wahoo don’t run in September. Ever, alright?” JJ’s voice broke you out of your self-induced trance. You opened your eyes to see him leaning toward your group as far away from Jimmy as he could get. “So, whoever this man is, he’s not a fisherman.”

“No, I know what this is,” Sarah said as if the answer was obvious, “He’s working for my dad, and he’s probably been looking for us this entire time.”

Pope considered the idea. “Alright, we gotta find out. Start looking for some sort of… clues.”

JJ and John B were quick to create a plan to distract Jimmy. While your brother busied himself with asking pointless questions, JJ dug straight into the satchel hanging on the seat. A few books tumbled into his hands. A photo slid out of the first one, Sarah being quick to grab it. You peeked over her shoulder to see a crisp clear photo of the Coastal Venture.

“This is the boat we were on, with Eberhimi and the cross,” She whispered.

“So he was looking for us?” Cleo asked as she got a look at the picture for herself. A nervous feeling built in your stomach at the thought of this man searching for you on purpose, maybe even for Ward’s bidding. 

A sharp movement of the airplane had you all bracing for some stability as Jimmy called out about turbulence. Kiara looked over your shoulder out the window. You followed her gaze to the window where land was creeping into the blue of the ocean. “Whatever it is, it’s happening fast. Look.” 

“That looks like Barbados. I’ve been there with Terrance,” Cleo piped up as the rest of your group observed what would most likely be the landing place. 

“Okay. There’s six of us, one of him. You know my vote, we storm the cockpit.”

You gave JJ an incredulous look at his suggestion. “No, who’s gonna fly the plane, dumbass?”

“I’ve seen Pope fly simulators.”

“I crop dusted for my uncle last summer, that is not the same thing!”

The group continued to bicker back and forth before ultimately deciding the best option would be to land safely and book it as soon as you got the opportunity. John B was quick to start a conversation with Jimmy again so JJ could sneak the books back into the satchel. It seemed like all was well until the pilot happened to glance over his right shoulder, exactly where JJ was scrambling in his stuff.

The plane jerked aggressively as the boys broke into a fight. Screaming echoed around you with shouts to fly the plane overwhelming as you grabbed on for some sort of hold. The water was approaching rapidly when Jimmy finally turned back around in an attempt to save everyone. Admitting defeat, you closed your eyes tightly and braced against the wall when the first hit came. 

The plane bounced across the ocean, sending the six of you into a mess of tangled limbs against the floor. Someone’s elbow jammed into the weak spot of your back as you cried out. The water started flooding the ground as you all scrambled for an escape. 

“Everybody good?”

The cool liquid sent a chill up your spine once you finally found some footing. John B shoved the door open and crawled out first. You could barely see the people crowding the beach at the sight of the accident.

“They do not look friendly.”

You looked closer, noticing the weapons and vests they were wearing to separate them from casual observers. Slipping on the wet metal, you shifted through the water as everyone began scrambling from the singing airplane. 

“Y/N, let’s go!”

You spared a glance back at where Jimmy was passed out in his seat. A tug pulled in your chest, the idea of leaving someone to drown not sitting well with you. Cursing to yourself, you pushed through the water to grab onto the pilot and tug him out.

“No, no, no. Y/N, let’s go!”

“Hurry!”

You ignored the shouts of concern and worked on tugging Jimmy into the open water. Your feet kicked as hard as possible to keep you both afloat as he slowly started coming to. You waited until the sand was under your feet and bystanders came to help to let go. 

Coughing up water, you turned to glare at the man you’d rescued. “You lied to us.” Adrenaline was pumping through your system, the fear of what had happened taking over. 

The sound of ATVs flooded your senses as you turned to look over your shoulder. The beach was crowded with a series of men, all in tan tactical gear, and all of them heading towards you. 

“You should get out of here.”

Ignoring Jimmy’s useless advice, you took off up the shore in hopes that you could lose them in the mass of people. A rotting boat was taking up part of the shore but you quickly navigated through an opening to hide in the darkness of it. 

You held your breath at the sound of footsteps, a pair of boots coming into view. As soon as the person’s eyes came a little too close, you lashed out and kicked him away from your hideout.

“She’s over here!”

“Shit!” Crawling as fast as possible, you moved through the sand in hopes to avoid the oncoming hands but fell short when a foot tripped your own. Sand clouded your vision as two sets of hands latched on to you and pulled you back up. “Let me go!” You yanked and struggled against them in a desperate attempt to free yourself.

 Eventually, the back and forth became too much for the two men who resorted to picking you up out of the sand to move you into a waiting pickup truck. One of your attackers was quick to slide a thick black zip tie around your wrists, effectively ending any sort of backlash as they pushed you into the tailgate corner. 

“We lost the others. We’ll keep searching.”

The words coming from the man’s radio brought you a slight bit of comfort knowing that the rest of the Pogues got away. You sagged against the side of the truck in exhaustion as the adrenaline began to seep away. 

Jimmy suddenly popped into view, your anger quickly resurfacing at the sight of him. “I save your life,” You sneered.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to help you, okay?” He sighed, “I swear. I didn’t know it was gonna be like this. Look, if you don’t fight, if you just do what they say, these guys prob… probably won’t hurt you.”

You shook your head and glared. “Because that’s so reassuring. What did Ward promise you?”

“Who?” He didn’t wait for you to answer the question and continued, “Hey, just take my advice and do what they say. Good luck.”

The truck engine started a second later, one of the guards climbing in the back with you before the vehicle took off. You groaned, tears fighting your eyes at the idea of being taken from your brother and your boyfriend once again. You were sick of this violence around every corner, sick of always being taken from your loved ones.

The sun was warm on your bare skin but did nothing to ease the anxiety building in your chest. You were not equipped enough to keep handling this shit by yourself. The drive continued until you took a right turn down a private road lined with palm trees, blocked with more guards. A watchdog circled the truck as the other guards surveyed who was in the vehicle before it was allowed through. 

Surveying your surroundings, more guards, ATVs, and weapons were at every glance. Your heart sank, knowing there was no way you would be able to outrun everything on your own. One of the guards came to pull you out of the back once the truck came to a stop. You were led up to a large white-colored mansion, the sight of even more guards making you sick. 

The front door opened to reveal a woman dressed in a maid-styled uniform. She took a brief glance at you before letting the both of you through. The foyer area was decorated with expensive artifacts and paintings as you walked. “Take her upstairs. The Orinoco Room.”

A different guard took place and pulled your elbow up the stairs and practically tossed you inside the room, only sparing a second to cut the ties around your wrists.

“Why am I here? Who are you working for?” You took a step back away, the idea of being locked in a room with no escape again haunting your mind. 

“Dinner at eight. I’d clean up.” The door slammed and locked a second later without another word. Your feet stumbled backward until you collided with the bed frame. A sob choked through your throat as the memories became heavy, this feeling all too familiar to you. You didn’t even know if you could be rescued by the Pogues at this point. You were royally fucked.

An hour or two passed before you were able to get yourself out of bed to explore the room. A handful of identical dresses hung in the closet with a note to pick your size attached. Alarms went off in your head at the creepy aura surrounding the gesture before you dropped the paper to the carpet. Moving into the bathroom, a shower was 100% necessary first and foremost. If you were going to go headfirst into this by yourself, might as well clean up when you can.

The products in the shower had to have cost a fortune based on their looks and efficiency. As terrified as you were, this was much nicer than being trapped in the Cameron household endlessly. You took your time to get decent and explore the rest of the room. Dogs barked occasionally from outside, a reminder of the ever-present guards at every corner. 

A sharp knock startled you back to reality as the housekeeper from earlier entered. “He’s ready.”

You didn’t question it, standing up and smoothing out the fabric of the dress as you followed her down the winding staircase. She guided you into one of the rooms connecting to the entranceway before leaving. 

There was one other person in the room, dressed in a tux with their back to you as they poured liquor into a glass. You cleared your throat slightly. “Excuse me?”

Your heart dropped as the person turned around to reveal Rafe Cameron. A fresh buzz cut to his hair made him almost unrecognizable, but he still invoked the same horrible fear in you. This was slowly becoming your worst nightmare all over again. Chest tight with an approaching anxiety attack, you wondered what the hell you were going to do without John B and JJ.

“Y/N?” He looked shocked for some reason and quickly closed the distance between you as his expression shifted to one of anger. You immediately took a step back in return. “Are you trying to weasel in on my deal right now? Is that what’s going on?”

You stared at him for a moment while trying to process what the hell was actually happening. A voice from the other half of the room seemed to hear your thoughts. “I wondered if your little reunion would cause sparks, you know.”

The two of you turned simultaneously to the man who had spoken. He too was dressed in a suit, holding a glass of whiskey as he walked towards you. 

“Who are you?” Rafe didn’t hesitate to ask the obvious.

The man pointed to himself like he was surprised the question was even asked. “Me? My name is Carlos Singh. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cameron. And Miss Routledge, I do apologize for the rough tactics in bringing you here. But please, come, sit down. Come now, I don’t bite.”

There was a period of hesitation before you finally took the initiative to step forward into the sitting room, leaving Rafe to follow behind. “Rough tactics?” The Kook repeated. “What about me?”

“Yes, Mr. Cameron, false pretenses, but the ends justify the means, I’m afraid.” Carlos poured himself another hefty drink before asking Rafe to sit again. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Why are we here?” The question you’d been wanting to know the answer to since the moment they came after you on the beach. Why? Why you and why here?

Carlos stood in front of the two of you and took a sip. “Well, Ms. Routledge, Mr. Cameron. We share certain interests, you know? Objectives.”

“Is this not about the cross?” Rafe’s already limited patience was wearing thin and you feared he would snap any second when he didn’t receive answers. 

“It is. Tangentially, it is about the cross, but it’s also about something much, much bigger.” Carlos turned around to face a framed painting on the wall that depicted a deep grassland with pyramids of gold. “By orders of magnitude… the completion of a grand quest. You see, the story goes that 450 years ago, a Spanish soldier came out of the Orinoco Basin with a few gold beads. When they asked the Spanish soldier where the beads came from, he replied that he got them from a peaceful Indigenous tribe who lived in a city of gold. El Dorado. For the next 450 years, people tried to find that gold, you know. They tried. Conquistadors, knights, captains of ships, tribes, entire nations. All fighting each other in a race for the end of the rainbow. Thousands of lives. And it falls to me, you know. It falls to me to complete the task, to bring full circle to a quest that has gone on for almost 500 years. Perhaps…perhaps the greatest quest in the history of the western hemisphere. And you two are going to play a part in that.”

“What about you, Ms. Routledge? Are you interested in history?”

The question made you want to roll your eyes. “I’m more of a future person.”

Rafe spoke up, “You know, I almost didn’t listen to a word you said, okay? How much you gonna keep philosophizing?” You honestly wanted to thank him for his straightforward attitude when it came to this.

“You are direct, aren’t you, Mr. Cameron?” Silence followed.

“What do you need from me?” At this point, you were willing to give him whatever he asked for, so long as it was within reason. You wanted out.

Carlos spared you a glance. “I’ve come to believe that you and your friends are in possession of something that can help me get what I want. An old manuscript, a diary actually.”

For a moment, you blanked on what exactly he meant. Then it hit you, Mr. Sunn had given Pope the diary of Denmark Tanny during your hunt for the cross. And if the cross, the gold, and this… El Dorado were all related… you had the key to where you needed to go. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rafe replied as you shook your head lightly.

“I don’t know anything about a diary,” You added, “My brother and dad are the treasure people, not me.”

Carlos looked you dead in the eye. “How else could you have learned that the cross was on the Royal Merchant?”

Shrugging instantly, you stared him right back. “Look, I want to help you, but I can’t. I don’t have what you’re looking for.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that you know, because unfortunately… I don’t believe you. You and your friends couldn’t have found that cross without it.”

“He’s not my friend.” The statement was short and sharp in nature as you spat it back at him. Fuck this dude for pulling you away from your friends, and fuck Rafe for all he did to you.

The Cameron next to you clapped his hands and got to his feet without warning. “Well, this is ridiculous. Okay? I’m out. I don’t know anything about a diary, okay? So-” He moved towards the open door but was forced back the second an armed guard appeared. 

“Do I look like a fool to you, Mr. Cameron?” Carlos repeated his question when Rafe didn’t answer. “You have the cross. She and her friends had the cross at one point. So one of you has the diary. And if you really don’t know, I suggest you convince your friend here to give it to me.” 

A finger was directed towards you, pulling Rafe’s gaze with it as the two of you held each other’s attention for a moment.

“Once I have the diary, you’ll be free to leave.” When nobody made a comment in return, Carlos moved towards the door to leave. “Enjoy the grounds during your stay. I must warn you though. I’m not a man of infinite patience. You have one day. Go to the window for a little demonstration. I think you’ll enjoy it, you know?” He placed two solid pats on Rafe’s bicep before exiting the room. 

The door was forced closed a moment after, Rafe calling out in shock as the lock clicked. If you weren’t freaking the hell out before, you sure as shit were now. While Rafe attempted to wiggle the door loose, you moved over to one of the sheer curtains covering a window and moved it aside. The guards and dogs were still circling, but this time a new figure joined. Jimmy was being pulled along onto the patio.

“Who the hell is that guy?” Rafe was suddenly so close to you, your whole body going rigid in response. 

“It’s Jimmy Portis,” You kept your reply simple. No need to converse with him beyond the bare minimum. He didn’t deserve it.

Carlos showed up through the glass a moment later, sparing the time to turn and find the two of you in the window before he pulled a gun from his waistband. A sharp gasp left your mouth as you figured out where this was going next.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Every inch of your being was telling you to look away, not that you could see them underneath the rooftop of the patio. The loud bang came fast, an involuntary flinch wracking your body as the gunshot echoed. 

“This diary. Hey, no bullshit. Okay? Do you have it?” Rafe was inches from your face, the warmth of his breath on your cheek as you continued to stare forward. “Y/N?”

You turned to him sharply. “No.”

--

You hardly slept that night. The silky tank top and pants that were laid out made you so uncomfortable, not to mention the threat on your horizon if you didn’t figure out what the hell to do. Not to mention, Rafe was sleeping not even a foot away on the floor. With so much “gracious hospitality”, Carlos Singh couldn’t even be bothered to spare another bedroom.

You hoped JJ, John B, and the Pogues were at least doing better than you. Maybe they’d found a way home by now and we’re just waiting for you to escape. Even if you guys didn’t make it out of Barbados, you just wanted to be back with them.

Taking a glance at Rafe’s sleeping form, you pushed yourself off the bed to go by the window where guards had been stationed on the connecting balcony. Body moving before your consciousness, you tapped on the window to get the person’s attention. 

“I need to talk to Mr. Singh,” You tried to keep your voice somewhat quiet. The guard looked at you confused, so you repeated the statement slower.

“What are you doing?” Rafe had woken up at the noise and rushed over to you. “Shut up, shut up, shut up. What the hell are you doing?”

You turned around to glare at him. “Like I owe you an explanation for absolutely anything.” You brushed past him to the other door in the room.

“Think for a second, Y/N! What are you doing?”

Ignoring his question, you began to knock on the wooden door separating you from the rest of the house. “Hello?” When Rafe wouldn’t stop pushing, you snapped. “Don’t fucking talk to me.”

“You’re lying, about this diary. You know where it is?”

You shook your head. “No, I don’t.”

Rafe let out a groan as you moved away from him again. “Okay, listen, I wouldn’t tell me either, but he’s never gonna believe we don’t know something, alright? Listen to me! Singh killed that-”

The second his hand touched your shoulder, you whipped around and smacked him. Hard. “Don’t fucking touch me!” The two of you stood there for a moment, tensions high with the looming death threat. 

Rafe raised his hands in surrender. “Look around you. I’m the only friend you got.”

You were prepared to shut him down a second later, but the click of the door lock interrupted the opportunity. The guard from the balcony appeared in the doorway and you were quick to move toward him without a thought. Ignoring Rafe’s annoying voice from behind you, the guard escorted you out of the room and relocked the door. 

Carlos Singh didn’t look surprised at your presence when you entered the study. You stopped short of the table he was seated at. 

“I lied. I know about the diary,” You admitted, fingers clenching the fabric of your clothes. “I don’t have the original, but I can get you a copy.”

He looked you over for a moment before nodding slightly. “I’m relieved to hear you say that, you know. May I offer you something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

He almost laughed at how quick your response was. “Relax, nothing’s gonna happen to you now. You’re cooperating, and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I just want to get you what you want, and then I want to leave,” Your voice was stern right back to him, refusing to show a hint of weakness. “I know where it is. But I have to go by myself. Alone.”

In the back of your head, you’re praying that the Twinkie is still alive somewhere on the OBX. Somewhere you can get a copy of the diary and maybe make a run for it.

“How would I know that you’d come back? I need some collateral.”

“Rafe’s here.” There was zero hesitation to offer him up for your sure-to-be disappearance. You didn’t give a shit what happened to him. “Keep him.

Signh laughed at your offer. “Rafe. No, I’ve heard tellings about what happened between the two of you. How did someone so young, get into so much trouble?” He rose from his chair to walk past you. You were quick to follow him.

“Look, I know where the diary is, and if you let me go, I promise you I can get it to you.”

Carlos shut down after that, his responses snippy and harsh until his phone broke the tension. He paused and rubbed his face before going to look at it. You were shocked when he looked at you and laughed. “Amazing. A text from our friend Jimmy Portis. From beyond the grave apparently. It seems Mr. Portis has captured your friends.”

The phone turned towards you to show a picture of John B and Sarah sitting next to each other with the message I got these two underneath. It was obvious they were trying to stage it out to look realistic. They had no idea what had happened. Singh called out for one of his guards.

“Get the big trucks and meet me outback.” His orders were quickly obeyed before he called on another guard. “Fenton. Get Miss Routledge.”

“Mr. Singh, Mr. Singh, please!” Panic was bubbling in your throat as the guard almost slammed into you before removing you from the study area. “You can’t hurt them, please! They’re all I have left, just leave them alone!” Your voice cracked with the strength of your yelling. The guard didn’t falter amongst your struggles and continued to push you up the stairs and back in the room without another word.

Rafe watched silently as you crawled into a ball at the foot of the bed. “What happened?” When you didn’t answer, he let out a sharp breath. “You’re gonna have to talk to me at some point. Okay?”

“Do I have to remind you of everything you’ve done?” You shot back as you looked at him. “You killed Peterkin. Do you remember that? And everything you’ve put Sarah through. Everything you put me through?”

“Peterkin, I was protecting my father, okay? I did what I had to, so don’t.” He walked away from you to sit in one of the armchairs. “I’m as much a victim as she is.”

You turned to give him the nastiest look you could muster. “Kook King Rafe Cameron, a victim of what? Consequences of your own fucking actions? Daddy issues?”

You hardly listened to the so-called explanation he tried to give. It was hard to find any empathy in your body towards the person in front of you. You couldn’t care less about what Rafe thought he was owed. All you cared about was getting the hell out of here, with or without him.

“Look, I have a boat that can get us off the island, okay? But first, we gotta get out of here, and it is better if we work together.”

The sound of yelling outside had the two of you on your feet and heading to the window. Two trucks were lining up for guards to climb into, an assortment of weapons on them.

“They’re leaving?” Rafe asked. 

You took a deep breath, dread flooding your chest as you watched them drive away. “They’re going to find John B and Sarah.”

“Sucks for them,” Rafe said as if he wasn’t talking about both of your siblings being at risk. “That’s good for us though. This may be our only shot of getting out of here.”

--

Rafe was quick to create a plan, something that would pull the guard from your door so you could slip out. Did you like it? Not in the slightest because it was a little to close for comfort. 

“I’m gonna kill you, Y/N!”

You screamed in response, running into the wall to make it seem like Rafe had actually shoved you while he threw a glass vase to the floor. He held a finger to his lips as the guard outside called for the two of you. You continued to lay still, one leg hanging out of the bathtub, knowing your feet would be the first thing in eyesight.

“Hey, you two! What’d you do?” Silence followed the voice on the other side of the door before you could hear the lock click.

Everything moved fast from there; Rafe slammed the guard with the bathroom door and exchanged punches with him while you managed to grab the fallen gun. Rafe was quick to grab the man’s phone while you tore a curtain off the bedframe and handed it to him so he could restrain the guard.

The two of you took off, moving through the house as quietly and quickly as possible. You managed to talk him into exchanging the gun in your hands for the phone, knowing exactly what clues the Pogues would need. You snuck around to get a quick photo of the painting that Carlos had been so intent on explaining to the two of you before following Rafe out the side door.

A grain delivery was occurring just outside, a large truck pulling away just as you stepped out. Your eyes followed the road along the grass line before you were moving, calling for Rafe to follow. The two of you managed to find a gap in the bushes just as the truck hit the corner going slow enough that you could climb on. 

You weren’t prepared, however, for there to be a worker in the back. Rafe moved before you even blinked to attack the man in front of you, eventually gaining the upper hand to throw him off the vehicle into the trees. 

Your eyes were wide as you faced the eldest Cameron but you didn’t have time to question his anger when you heard a familiar noise. The sound of bells was always a comfort in your life. When you and John B were kids, it was the way your dad would tell you it was time to come inside. The pattern coming from the local church was identical to the one your dad would do. Chills raced down your spine at the noise, wondering if maybe it was John B trying to draw you in after all.

--

You weren’t sure how much time passed under the tarp, out of prying eyes with Rafe Cameron. You were beyond done with his presence and just wanted to jump off the truck, but thankfully you guys were able to make it to the marina where his boat was docked. 

Climbing on the large pristine boat, you swore you could hear the bells ringing again, even this far away. You stopped short of untying the bowline, suddenly against the idea of getting on a boat with just Rafe Cameron. 

“I can’t get it.” You lied easily, faking a pull on the rope. “I need some help.”

Rafe let out a loud groan, barking for you to move since he ‘had to do everything’. The second he untied the line, you shoved his chest harshly, watching as he splashed into the water below. You took off, hopping up to the cabin area to move the boat out from the dock. Rafe yelled hysterically below you yet you couldn’t help but smile once you got moving. Pulling the phone from your pocket, you typed a quick message, your heart racing in anticipation.

After docking at a different marina, you waited, foot tapping excessively, for some response that they were coming. The church bells kept continuously ringing, freaking you out even further that maybe they didn’t know where you were.

Eyes on the sidewalk, you watched anxiously for some kind of sign. It came straight towards you in a light blue button-down. You moved quickly the second you made eye contact. “JJ?”

JJ’s whole figure drooped in relief at the sight of you, unharmed. He had felt so much guilt, so much anxiety over the way you two weren’t on the best of terms before you were taken. His feet moved rapidly, body colliding with yours as he lifted you off the ground. Your legs wrapped around his waist out of habit, holding him as tightly as you could.

“Holy shit, you’re safe. I’m right here, I got you.”

You let out a sob, tears streaming down your cheeks before you kissed him heavily. Nothing was as calming as being wrapped in his embrace, feeling his hands on your arms, his lips on yours. You took a moment before separating, your feet returning to the ground before you were attacked by another set of arms.

John B was fucking terrified. The moment you got yanked out of the sand, Sarah was holding him back from going after you. Everything felt too real now, too heavy. Knowing that the second one of you disappeared could be the last time they saw you was scary. He was sick of losing, and he wasn’t about to stand by and watch it happen to you all over again.

More shaky hands piled onto you and your brother, your friends wiggling their way into a huge group hug of relief. Kiara’s hands grabbed your cheeks once everyone stepped away. “You’re not hurt, right?” You could see her eyes scanning for any sort of injury.

You shook your head, brushing tears off your face. “No, no. I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“Are you kidding me, babe?” 

You followed JJ’s gaze to the large boat you had climbed off a few moments ago. You laughed, “Oh, yeah. Rafe let me take it for a spin.”

“Rafe?!”

You ignored the rapid onset of questions as your group piled onto the boat. You froze, however, at the sound of the bells tolling. Now you knew it wasn’t John B, and based on the way he was looking back at you, he was questioning them too.

“You don’t think-”

“There’s no way.”

Both of you spoke at the same time, glancing towards the hillside the church was located on. What would be the chances that your father happened to be in Barbados of all places, coincidentally when you crash-landed there?

“Yeah, so I have just a couple of questions,” JJ interrupted your sibling moment as everyone gathered around the two of you. “A Lagoon 620 with twin 150 Volvos. You understand we can go anywhere with this thing, right? Way to be discreet, by the way.”

You rolled your eyes, giving him the middle finger. 

“What did they want from you?” Sarah asked the question that the group had been pondering over for two days now. “You swear Rafe didn’t hurt you?”

You sat down on one of the couch cushions. “No, no. I’m fine, promise. I um… Singh wanted Denmark’s diary, of all things.”

Pope frowned at the revelation. “Why?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Said it leads to a treasure that’s bigger than the Merchant.”

“A bigger treasure?” JJ repeated as he sat next to you, arm naturally wrapping around you to pull in close. “Sign me up.”

A moment of processing followed before your friends decided it was time to split and started prepping to leave. JJ moved with them, going to untie the lines. You decided to follow John B and Sarah up to the top deck.

“She’s right, we really need to go,” Sarah reiterated as she tossed a line down below. 

The bells chimed again a few seconds after she finished, both you and John B looking towards the church before glancing at each other. 

“Okay, you definitely heard that, right?” Your brother turned towards his girlfriend for an answer.

“Yeah, I do now.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “That’s exactly what Dad would do to call us home. That pattern those bells.”

Sarah stopped her movements to look at the two of you. She could see the lingering sadness, the defeat that maybe he really was dead and this was a coincidental joke tugging at you. She also knew John B, and she knew where he went, you were usually close behind. 

“Okay. I get it.” The two of you snapped up to look at her. “You wanna go to the tower to go look? Go look.”

John B seemed shocked at her willingness. “You sure?”

She took another glance at you and nodded. “I’m serious. Hurry, and take this.”

“Sarah…” You walked up next to them, hesitant about leaving them again so soon.

She smiled at you. “Yes, yes. You don’t think I know the two of you? He’s gonna drive us all insane if he doesn’t look, and you’re not gonna let him go alone. So go look.”

You shared a glance with John B before darting down the stairs. JJ was on the dock, untying another line when you collided into him. 

“Whoa, hey. You okay?”

“I gotta go.” You didn’t give him a chance to react, John B already climbing off the boat behind you. “I’m going with John B. We’ll be back, okay?”

JJ looked panicked at the idea of you leaving when he just got you back. He knew better than to question you though, and if John B was going, it was enough for him. He gave you a nod, hands coming to rest on your cheeks before he kissed you softly. “I love you, okay?”

“Love you more,” You whispered back, giving him one more kiss before taking off after your brother. Not only were you two navigating a foreign area, but you needed to keep low from Singh’s men too. John B kept glancing back at you, slowing to stay with you when he could.

You slowed your light jog at the top of a hill, the church almost within reach? “Do you really think it’s him?”

John B paused, the two of you taking in the sound of the bells again. “I just… I have this feeling. And I need to know.”

He understood why you were hesitant. Your relationship with your dad wasn’t the greatest, especially as you got older. John B was always the favorite, which would’ve been fine if your dad hadn’t just started neglecting you in return. That’s where you clung to John B, why the two of you grew to be so protective of each other. 

The climb up the side of the mountain was rough, but you managed to do it without any slipping. You honestly didn’t know if this was something you were ready for, but you’d do it for John B. Even if your dad didn’t speak to you, it would be fine. You both deserved answers. 

The church itself was gorgeous with stained glass windows and coiled staircases. You followed your brother silently up the steps, unsure of what to expect. Every creak and groan of the building had the two of you hesitant to keep moving. 

You came through an archway before John B followed a shadow across into the other stairwell. From the glimpse you got, your heart started racing in your chest. You moved down the stairs slowly, the two of you stopping short halfway. 

There, at the bottom of the stairs, stood Big John Routledge. Alive.

“Dad?”

Your father turned to face the two of you, taking in the sight of his two children in the glow of the sunset. “What took you so long, kids? I’ve been ringing for hours.”

John B practically ran down the rest of the stairs and straight into your father’s arms. You stood, frozen in place at the sight before you. Emotions weren’t easy to process. You were a lovely combination of anger, sadness, and joy right now, your mind turning Inside Out at the idea of your father standing here after so long. 

“My baby bird.”

The nickname sucked all the air out of your lungs as you realized your father’s eyes were on you. Your feet moved slowly, hesitant about what exactly you were signing yourself up for, but the moment your dad had you within grasp, he hugged you as tight as he could. You felt like an innocent little kid all over again, with her big brother and Dad always there to protect her. 

“Oh, kids. We have a lot to talk about, huh?”

--

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[theerurishipper]

Hi~ Hope you have a lovely day. I want to get your opinions on my rant lol and ask.

Marinette is such a disappointment of a lead female character in a western magical girl cartoon. She isn't a good leader and all her team consist of yes men and women and sidekick Chat Noir where her real partner Alya is standing over to the side. I liked her in the first two season and maybe some in s3 but the s4 and onward just got to me ngl. It's her world and we're all just living in it. Miraculous is so weird when it comes to team dynamics because I get she's guardian but I really wished it were someone else and not her because she chooses people she already get along great with. It fun for team dynamics to add be different and broader.

The whole she's just 14 the fandom spouts only goes so far how many messes do you do until you realise you need to own up to them even at that age when you should know better on your conduct ?

I get it hard to communicate but onwards I always thought the bigger of the two in the conflict was her because of her secrecy and her controlling tendencies. I disliked it so much in the ephemeral episode and her betraying her partner disgusted me. Sorry to those who like or defend her character this much but I can't stan or like a character that does this much crap to a friend let alone a love interest and then gloss over or minimize it and not be called out for it. Like, are people standards that low they think she's a good leader or a good proper representation on feminism when this show reeks of misogyny and misandry. She's the ultimatum voice for Astruc.

A communication issue with her Chat was fine a long time ago but now in s5 she crossed it hell nah how do people still support a ship with her knowing she followed Hawkmoth command for Adrien. I literally can't anymore with this show. Every guy she likes gotta be so 100 percent in effort and like in the Shadybug special him always comforting her makes me so jaded whenever she cries what about a change in dynamics had we ever seen her comfort him in turn how are people invested in this ship? Like that time in the bench and she just thought of ways to woo or give presents instead of just comforting him is so sad to watch.

She really followed in Master Fu steps. The bar is in hell and she crossed it in the finale. There is no excuse no handwaving it away and i know in my heart they gonna minimize it for Adrien own good. Everything is for his own good huh? What good is it rooting for a ship that just reeks of pity points. Like, she was never my favorite but who knew 8 years ago she'd pull a stunt like this and people bending over and doing mental gymnastics to rationalise this insanity. She really is a good foil to Gabriel ironically to bad she has no sway in this family drama we call the Agreste.

I know she has good intentions and it's not wrong for her to wish to save her prince but like thats all that is intention. Her actions are also important and the effects she's done is so bad that if she weren't the Main character and we haven't spent the chunk of the majority in her pov alone she'd be disliked.

I feel like compared to other respective series Winx Club s1-3 Bloom, Danny Phantom, Ben 10, Totally Spies they have it much more harder and so many more all show the consequences of your actions and how you do them right and they're her age. I feel like whenever someone bring up consequences it's like people in this particular fandom think we do it to punish Marinette but no I just never ever saw it properly done in this show because she's very coddled in the narrative. I don't see other MC as coddled as her before in a show where when they MESS UP it's actually integral and important.

Rant over.

You encapsulated all my thoughts perfectly, anon. I've said so many times before that I loved Marinette from Season 1-3 and even during Season 4 as it aired. What made me fall out of love with her character post Season 4 was the utter lack of acknowledgement of her actions and the insistence in portraying her as in the right at all times. Like you said, it's not just your intentions that matter. Your actions and the effects that they have on the people around you also matter. The writers don't seem to understand this, and it hits Marinette's character worst of all. She had so much potential to be such a great character, which is why I feel so sad seeing just how badly the writing failed her. Marinette deserved better.

Thank you for your ask!

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 3, Chapter 23

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness? Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 4 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

Okay, this is an extra looooong chapter. But we're finally at the end of Part 3! And the last line in this chapter was written when I first started plotting this fic, over 18 months and 230 000 words ago...so I'm a little excited for you guys to finally read it!

————–

PART 3

Chapter 23

The hostess led Cross and Ranieri through the busy restaurant, and Matt tracked their movements as they weaved between tables, the scent of their mingled colognes getting stronger as they came closer to his and Calina’s corner. He had a brief moment of concern that Cross was headed straight for them - that somehow Cross had discovered that Matt was looking into him, and had come here to confront him-

But then Cross paused at the table behind Matt to greet the couple seated there. Cross obviously knew them well, launching into a recap of his golf game from that morning and laughing with the couple about the new wait staff at the country club. Cross was in his slightly smarmy, exuberant, rich-guy mode - a persona that Matt had started calling his ‘politician guise’. It was a far cry from the real Cross - the cold sociopathic monster who enjoyed torturing people - and the falsity of it grated on Matt.

After a few moments of inane chatter, Cross and Ranieri moved on, heading for the back of the restaurant where the VIP section resided, separated from the rest of the public by a locked door.

“Will you be able to hear what’s going on in there?” Calina asked quietly.

Matt shook his head. “I doubt it. There’s soundproofing in the walls.”

“Soundproofing? In an already private room? That just screams shady, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. I’m going to have to get closer - I can only pick up indistinct murmurs from here.”

“While you do that, I’ll contact Anya.”

“Anya? Why?”

“Because I think Ranieri’s presence here ties everything together.”

———

After the initial shock of seeing Ranieri had worn off, Calina realised that it shouldn’t have been a shock at all. It made complete sense. “We always suspected that the man behind the fear pheromone was the one who activated me to kill Governor Benson.”

Matt nodded. “In order to guarantee the supply of Arsonium for the pheromone.”

“Right. Aminev was the Red Room employee who dosed me for that assassination attempt, and Anya mentioned that she’d found his name in Ranieri’s laptop - Ranieri was looking for him after he defected from Volkov’s group. I’m guessing he found him - either he sent Aminev to Cross, knowing that he’d pay through the nose for a Black Widow to control, or Aminev told Ranieri about Cross.”

“Either way, Ranieri’s obviously decided to get into bed with another sociopath looking for power.”

“We need to find out what he’s telling Cross about the Widows and Volkov’s work.”

Matt nodded again, looking grim. “Agreed.” He gave Calina a quick kiss on the cheek and set off to do just that.

Calina watched Matt head for the restroom two doors down from the private VIP room, and hoped he’d be able to hear what Cross and Ranieri were up to from there.

Because this whole thing was giving her a really bad feeling.

The moment she’d set eyes on Ranieri, a pit of anxiety had opened up in her gut. It was the collision of her two worlds - her present with Matt, and her past with the Widows - and she knew it could only portend disaster for the future. Cross was powerful enough as it was, with all his wealth and influence and the fear pheromone he was using to blackmail key figures in the city. Add in mind-control serum or another Black Widow assassin to that mix and he could very possibly take over the world.

Calina grabbed her phone from her purse and sent off a message to Anya, updating her about Cross’ involvement in the serum, and the unexpected appearance of Ranieri. She’d call the other Widow later and give her more details, but she knew Anya would be intrigued enough by her quick missive to start digging and confirm Calina’s theory.

Meanwhile…she’d wait.

She was used to it. So many of her past missions were exercises in patience. In biding her time watching her marks, and waiting for the right moment to strike. But back then there were no idle thoughts to distract her, and definitely no fears or worries for her partner on the job.

This felt different. Her head was spinning with worry for what this new complication meant. And worry for Matt, who was becoming obsessed with taking down Cross.

Luckily, she didn’t have to wait - and worry - for long. Ten minutes later, Matt emerged from his stake-out in the restroom and made his way back to her.

She smiled at him - an almost involuntary reflex now whenever she saw him. She’d asked him once, if he could sense that. They’d been lying in bed, her head on his chest, his fingers trailing up and down her bare back as they filled each other in on their day. “I caught my reflection in the window today when you walked in,” she’d told him, recounting the moment he’d met her at the coffee shop around the corner from his office. “I was smiling like an idiot, for all the world to see.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he’d replied.

“No, just strange. Considering the way I was raised.”

“Well I like that you smile like an idiot when you see me.”

She laughed. Then tilted her head up to look at him. “But can you tell? When you walk into a room, can you sense that I’m smiling at you?”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then brushed his thumb over her lips. “I don’t need to sense these move to know you’re happy to see me. I know in other ways.”

She’d spent the rest of the night trying to elicit what those ‘other ways’ were, using all her feminine tricks and wiles to cajole the secret from him, but he didn’t budge.

At this moment though, if he sensed she was happy to see him, he didn’t let on. There was no smile on his face as he approached their table. In fact, there was a stiffness to his gait that wasn’t there before, and his stubbled jaw was clenched.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I need to go. They’re leaving through a back entrance, and I don’t want to lose this chance to find out what they’re up to.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at home later. Be careful.”

She went to put her hand on his, where it rested on his cane, but he pulled away from her touch. “I need to go,” he repeated, and strode for the door.

The bad feeling in Calina’s gut grew stronger.

And it didn’t let up over the next several hours, as Matt followed Cross and Ranieri all over the city, and she was left to pace his living room floor alone.

He eventually returned as dawn was starting to break across the sky. Calina was napping on the couch, exhaustion and worry leading to a fretful, interrupted sleep. As his key turned in the door, she sat upright and called out. “Matt, are you okay?”

He didn’t look okay. He trudged into the living room, footfalls heavy and slow, and collapsed on to the chair opposite her. His 5 o’clock shadow had darkened into scruff and the suit he’d worn to dinner last night was rumpled and creased. He rubbed his hands over his face then massaged his temples, as if fighting off a headache.

“Matt,” she said again, softer this time. “What happened?”

“Nothing. Hours and hours of fucking nothing.”

“What do you mean?”

Matt sighed and let his head fall back against the chair. “I caught up with Cross and Ranieri after they left the restaurant, and tailed them to a club on the upper east side - an exclusive members-only club that was harder for me to get into than fucking Fort Knox.”

“But you managed right? I mean, you’re Daredevil, a few locked doors are nothing to you,” she tried to make her comment light, to help counteract the air of anger and frustration that seemed to simmer beneath Matt’s weary state.

It didn’t work. Matt just continued to recap his night in the same flat, bitter tone. “I eventually managed to find a way on to the roof that wasn’t guarded by a camera or security guard, but I couldn’t hear anything of use - it was too loud and packed with other people to make out Cross and Ranieri’s conversation. They left the club after a couple of hours, and split up. I followed Ranieri to the Waldorf, but he went straight to his room. He didn’t meet up with anyone else.”

Calina did the math in her head, and realised that several hours were still unaccounted for in Matt’s story. He never came home for his Daredevil suit to go out patrolling…so what did he do instead?

“Then what?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been gone practically all night, Matt.”

Matt sat forward, dangled his hands between his legs and stared at the floor. “I needed to think.”

Calina swallowed, suddenly more worried than she’d been all night. Matt’s voice as he said those words…his whole demeanour…

Something was really wrong.

“What did you need to think about?”

Matt clasped his hands together and squeezed until his flesh went white. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if hesitating to answer.

“Matt, what’s going on?”

He took a deep breath and lifted his head in her direction. “Does the name ‘Eliise’ mean anything to you?”

Calina frowned, thrown by the unexpected question. Then the blood drained from her face as she realised how he would have heard that name. “It was my alias in Italy, when I was going after Ranieri. He recognised me in the restaurant, didn’t he?”

“Oh, yeah. Turns out you were really fucking memorable. I mean, he was a little disappointed you’d changed your hair and weren’t showing as much leg as before, but he took great delight in describing his night with you to Cross.”

Calina exhaled in relief, glad her real identity as a Widow hadn’t been blown. “So he was bragging to look like a big shot in front of his new associate, so what?”

“It wasn’t baseless bragging. He was regaling Cross in lurid detail about all the ways he'd fucked you. And he wasn’t lying. I could practically feel his heartbeat through that bathroom wall, and he believed every single word of what he said.”

“Wait…are you saying you think I slept with him? That I had sex with him in Italy behind your back?”

“He wasn’t lying, Calina,” Matt repeated, through clenched teeth.

“Neither was I! I told you exactly what happened during that mission!”

“Like you told me exactly what happened to the man you killed across the hall?”

Calina reeled back, as if the words were a physical blow. “So I’m always going to be a liar in your eyes, is that it? Despite the fact that I’ve been honest and open with you every single day since then? Despite the fact that you claim to love me? Doesn’t that afford me the benefit of the doubt at the very least!?”

Matt jumped to his feet. “Yes! Of course it does! That’s why I’ve been wrestling with this all night! I couldn’t reconcile what you told me with-”

“With what Ranieri said? You believed a complete stranger over me?”

“No, not blindly. But you’re asking me to ignore everything my senses are telling me-”

“Yes! Because your senses aren’t infallible, Matt. All of your goddam trust issues stem from the fact that you’ve been lied to again and again by the people you're close to, which means you can’t always tell when someone’s being honest!”

“So now you’re throwing my past back at me? I just want the truth, Calina! What happened in Italy?”

Calina didn’t answer. Instead, she grabbed her cell from the coffee table and dialled a number.

“What are you doing?” Matt asked, as the sound of the phone ringing filled the air between them.

“Well, you obviously won’t believe anything I tell you, so I’m getting someone impartial to give you the truth.”

At that moment, Anya picked up the phone, sounding wide awake despite the hour. “Calina? I’ve been looking into this Cross and Ranieri thing, and I may have found something. They-”

“Not now, Anya,” Calina interrupted. “I need you to speak to Matt.”

“Okay…about what?"

“Tell him about Italy. About the serum I injected Ranieri with - and what it does.”

“Um, it’s a modified sedative. Designed to render a mark unconscious while also allowing for hypnotic suggestions to be implanted.”

“And what suggestions did you implant while Ranieri was unconscious?” Calina asked.

“That, um, you had sex with him.”

“Did I actually have sex with him?”

“No! Of course not. Calina, what’s this about? What’s-”

“I’ll tell you later.” Calina hung up the phone and looked at Matt. He stood with his hands on his hips, head bowed. “Satisfied?”

At Calina’s question, he lifted his head. Shook it once. “Calina, I’m sorry-”

“I don’t give a shit.” She shoved her phone in her pocket, grabbed her purse and stalked towards the door.

Matt caught her hand before she could yank it open. “Wait, don’t leave. We need to talk about this. I’m so sorry for-”

“For what? For doubting me? Not trusting me? Or for thinking I'm the kind of person who would cheat on you, and lie to your face about it?”

“Callie-”

“No. I can’t deal with this right now. I need to go.”

“Go? Go where? Please don’t disappear on me again.”

“Right now, I’m going to my apartment across the hall to get some sleep. Don’t follow me. Don’t call me.”

Matt squeezed her hand. Brought it to his lips and pressed a desperate kiss to the back of it. “Please, sweetheart-”

“No. I need some space, Matt. Just let me go.”

“I don’t think I can ever let you go, sweetheart,” Matt whispered against her skin. “But I’ll give you some space.” He dropped her hand and stepped to the side.

Calina walked through the door and didn’t look back.

———

Matt hit the punching bag with all his strength, the smack of flesh meeting leather creating a satisfying sound that rang out in the empty gym.

The pain that came a moment later was satisfying in a different way.

Matt had foregone the hand wraps and gloves for a reason. He’d come straight to Fogwell’s after the fight with Calina, wanting to take out all his anger and frustration on the training equipment…and wanting to punish himself in the process.

He couldn’t believe how thoroughly he’d fucked things up tonight.

No, that was wrong. He could believe it. It was one of his core personality traits, after all: the ability to sabotage every good thing in his life.

Like his relationship with Karen. He’d fucked that up because he couldn’t stay away from the toxic pull of Elektra. He’d fucked up his career and his friendship with Foggy because he couldn’t find the right balance between Matt Murdock and Daredevil.

He really thought he’d turned a corner this year. He’d mended the rift with Foggy, found friendship again with Karen, and had rebuilt the law firm with their help…but now he’d gone and fucked everything up with Calina. Because he couldn’t trust her.

No, that was wrong too. He couldn’t trust his trust in her.

Because he knew that she hadn’t lied to him about Italy. He knew she wasn’t the type of person who could be unfaithful. He knew there must be some explanation for why Ranieri believed the things that he did.

As soon as he’d heard the smarmy Italian telling Cross about ‘Eliise’, Matt had shook his head in disbelief. He knew it must be Calina he was referring to - the timing and location of the encounter fit with the Widow’s mission, and he seemed so sure he recognised Calina, despite the change in her appearance - but Matt couldn’t believe the story he was spinning about them sleeping together. He didn’t believe it. He knew that it had to be a lie, despite what his senses were telling him.

But as the night wore on, and he had little to do but sit on a cold, concrete rooftop as Cross and Ranieri’s conversation was lost to the din of the nightclub below, insidious thoughts started to creep into Matt’s mind.

What if…?

What if Calina had lied to him? She’d done it before, after all. She’d kept the secret of her identity for months. She’d killed people, and kept that from him.

What if sleeping with Ranieri was vital to her mission to take down Volkov? He knew how strong and overwhelming the Widows’ drive for freedom had been. They would have stopped at nothing to get out from under Volkov’s thumb. Would Calina have stopped at sleeping with a mark? She’d done that before in the past, as well…

Matt had hated the thoughts as they’d formed in his head. He’d screwed his eyes shut and pulled at the strands of his hair, as if he could physically banish them. He didn’t like that even a tiny part of him could think so ill of the woman he loved.

But he couldn’t seem to shake those thoughts. They took root over the course of the night, and he spent hours walking the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, wrestling with them. Trying to conquer them with the truths that he was sure of: Calina was a good person. She’d vowed to be honest with him. She loved him, and wouldn’t betray him.

But those wretched, malignant doubts just wouldn’t go away.

And look where they’d gotten him - pummelling his fists bloody and raw because he’d hurt Calina. Because he’d ruined things between them.

Why couldn’t he have trusted his initial instinct that Ranieri was lying?

Why couldn’t he have trusted his belief in Calina?

Matt yelled in frustration as he hit the bag so hard it swung away from him, a wordless shout of anger and pain that echoed off the crumbling walls of the gym. He caught the bag as it came back, and rested his forehead against the leather, panting with exertion. Warm blood trickled from the split skin over his knuckles, and he could feel the burn of inflammation in his shoulder where he must have pulled a muscle.

But the pain didn’t help. The self-flagellation wasn’t lessening any of his guilt.

And he was at real risk of doing damage to himself that wouldn’t heal with an icepack and a few bandages. He scoffed at the irony as he cleaned off the blood from his hands and the sweat from his brow. He never used to worry about himself in that way. Not before Calina. Not before he started to see a future for himself, with her.

He just didn’t know if that future existed now.

———

Calina couldn’t sleep.

She wasn’t surprised. Sleep had never come easily to her in this new post-Widow’s life. Not unless she was next to Matt…

Matt.

She sighed and rolled on to her back, staring vacantly at the ceiling over her bed. She wished she could cry or yell or hit something to get rid of this…numbness…that she felt. She’d left his apartment in a hurry, feeling like she was on the verge of breaking down, but when she reached her own bedroom just moments later, a wave of numbness had descended, until she was left like this - feeling empty, detached from her own emotions.

As if they were too big, too devastating to bear, and her mind was protecting her from them.

Or maybe it just meant that she was done. That she knew it was over between her and Matt, and her pragmatic side had decided that there was no point in wallowing in grief and pain over the loss.

No. The thought of it really and truly being over between her and Matt caused a sharp stab of pain through her heart.

A response at last. 

Because she loved him. 

Which was its own curse. Because it meant that she knew him. She knew his past and the way it had shaped who he was today. She knew why he’d reacted the way he had tonight…and a small part of her even sympathised with his struggle to believe her.

Hence, the curse. She should be allowed to be angry. To feel betrayed by his doubts. To hate him as much as she loved him.

But instead she was...numb.

So numb, the sound of a knock at the door barely elicited a reaction, even though it was probably Matt ignoring her wishes. “I said I needed space, Matt,” she called out as she dragged herself out of bed.

“We’re not Matt, so open up,” was the response.

Frowning, Calina opened the door to find Anya and Katya standing in the hall - along with a very unexpected addition. “What are you doing here so early?”

Anya pushed passed her into the living room. “After that weird phone call, we had to come and see what was happening.”

Katya rolled her eyes. “Tactful, Anya. We’re not just here out of curiosity. We came to see how you were. We figured you and Matt had an argument.”

“Is that why you brought a dog?” Calina asked, pointing to the puppy in Katya’s arms. “For comfort?"

"Comfort?"

"Yeah. I read that petting a dog lowers cortisol levels, and can boost dopamine and serotonin neurotransmitters in the brain.”

Katya looked down at the squirming mass of fur in her arms. “That would have been a good idea, actually. But, no, we’re dog-sitting Nika and didn’t want to leave her in the house while everyone else is too pre-occupied with what’s happening over Wakanda to watch her.”

“Wait, whose dog is she? And what’s happening in Wakanda?” Calina sat on the edge of the sofa and looked up at the Widows, glad there were a couple of mysteries to uncover that would take her mind off Matt.

Katya let the puppy down to explore and joined Calina on the couch. “She belongs to Yelena. She picked her up from the pound last week.”

Calina smiled. “That’s great. She said she always wanted a dog - I just thought she was planning to wait until all the Widows’ stuff was sorted.”

“Nope. She just decided that she’ll still do all the ‘Widows’ stuff’ and leave us to look after the dog while she’s gone.”

“Where is she now?”

“In Helsinki with Sonya. They’re freeing Ana - do you remember her?”

Calina had the vague recollection of an older, blonde girl who was a couple of cohorts ahead of her in the Red Room. “Not really.”

“Well, we found her in a mansion in the Finnish countryside, so Yelena flew out there last night.”

“That’s good that you guys found someone else.”

“Speaking of finding something,” Anya said. “I was looking into Cross and Ranieri like you asked-”

“That can wait until later,” Katya interrupted. “Tell us what happened with Matt.”

Calina groaned and sank back into the couch. The puppy took it as her cue to jump up on her lap. She managed the leap with no problem, and Calina could tell she was going to be big once she reached her true size. She looked like a cross between a husky and a German shepherd, and her fur was thick and soft when Calina sank her fingers into it. She continued to pet the dog as she explained the events of last night.

“So, thank you, Anya,” she said at the end of the tale. “For being so thorough in your description of my fake sexcapade with Ranieri that he’s never forgotten that night.”

Anya winced. “Sorry.”

Calina shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault. This was probably always destined to happen - Matt finds it hard to trust people, and I have a history of lying to him. What’s that phrase? ’Irreconcilable differences’?”

“I don’t believe that,” Katya said. “You’re not irreconcilable. You’ll get past this, just like your other..hurdles.”

Calina laughed at the word 'hurdle', which felt like a massive understatement. “I’m not so sure this time.” Her voice broke, and she could feel the barrier around her emotions start to break down, the numbness start to wear off, so she quickly changed the subject before the tears followed. “But enough about that. Tell me what you found, Anya.”

Anya didn’t have to be asked twice. She launched into a detailed explanation of how she searched Ranieri’s emails and his entire internet footprint via a software program she'd designed which utilised AI…until Katya had to beg her to get to the point. “Please, just give us the bullet point summary!”

“Okay, fine. It turns out Ranieri and Cross were boarded together at the same school in Switzerland for a brief period - before Ranieri was expelled for drug use, and Cross’ family emigrated to New York.”

“So they’ve known each other all this time?” Calina asked.

Anya shrugged. “It’s unclear how friendly they were for most of it, but their communications  definitely increased over the past couple of years. It looks like Ranieri was hustling on the side with Cross. He liked being in league with Volkov, but he had no loyalty, and he wasn’t as fanatical about the mission as Volkov was. He was in it for the money and power, and he saw no problem with stealing from Volkov to help him get in with another powerful man.”

“So he was the one that sent Aminev to Cross. He basically gave his old school friend a Black Widow assassin,” Katya added.

“That was the plan,” Anya clarified. “But Aminev got greedy. He was supposed to just hand over the tech to Cross, but he set himself up as the middle-man instead, getting paid to control Calina on behalf of Cross. But he fucked that up and got himself killed instead.”

“It’s a wonder Cross trusted Ranieri after that,” Calina mused. Cross didn’t seem the type to suffer incompetence in his associates.

“It didn’t matter. Ranieri had already done enough to secure his place in Cross’ inner circle.”

“How?” Calina asked.

“By giving him an old Red Room formulation. It had been superseded by the mind control serum, so Ranieri figured Volkov wouldn’t notice when the last remaining vials went missing.”

“What was the formulation?” Katya asked.

Calina had a sinking feeling she knew exactly what it was. “It was the fear pheromone, wasn’t it?”

Anya nodded. “A rudimentary version compared to what’s on the streets now. But yes.”

“So it all started with Ranieri,” Katya said, shaking her head in disbelief. “He gave Cross the idea of the fear pheromone, the basic formula to improve upon, and he even tried to guarantee his supply of the main ingredient - Arsonium Bromide - by giving him a Black Widow. That slimy, inbred piece of Italian trash started this whole thing.”

“Well, technically, the Red Room started it all,” Anya countered. “They came up with the fear pheromone in the first place.”

Calina let out a bitter laugh. “Of course it all started with them. All the pain that Cross caused with his experiments to perfect the pheromone, all the lives he ruined and the people he killed…it all stems back to the Red Room. To us. This is our legacy.”

Katya scowled at her. “What are you talking about? This isn’t on us. This is on Dreykov, and Volkov and all those other assholes in the Red Room. Our legacy will be stopping Cross - we're going to help you and Matt take him down.”

Calina nodded. She knew Katya was right. She and the other Widows were as much victims as those Cross had experimented on. They weren’t culpable. She was just feeling extra resentful and scathing about her past and her association with the Red Room this morning.

For obvious reasons.

And she wasn’t sure how she’d be able to work with Matt again on this, or anything else, but she appreciated her sisters' support. “Thanks, guys. For finding all this out, and for coming to check on me this morning. And for letting me pet the dog - I think it helped.” She smoothed her hand over one floppy ear and scratched behind it. The puppy immediately rolled over and offered her stomach for extra pets. Calina laughed and complied. 

“Speaking of the dog, why don’t you come with us while we take her for a walk. Clear your head a bit.”

Calina nodded. “Sounds good.”

Some fresh air and a playful puppy sounded infinitely better than wallowing in her bed alone for the rest of the day. 

———

As Matt left the gym, the sun was high in the sky and the working day was starting for his fellow New Yorkers. The traffic on the streets was growing, and the sound of shutters being raised on storefronts drowned out the chorus of birdsong.

Matt checked the time on his watch. He could head to the office...but he wasn't sure he was in the right head space for work this morning. And he didn't feel like going back to his apartment - not when Calina's absence would be palpable. Not when the air would still hold her scent - that would be more of a torment than a comfort right now.

So he walked. For hours. Aimlessly. Down tree-lined streets and across concrete avenues shaded by high rise buildings. He walked, concentrating on the feel of the ground beneath his feet and the steady beat of his heart, trying not to think about the fight with Calina. About how he could gain her forgiveness. About the possibility that he might never do so.

He walked…and eventually found himself outside Clinton church. For the second time in just over 24 hours.

God, had it only been a day?

Everything felt so different now. Not just in terms of the shock invasion from above, but the tumult in his own life. Yesterday he was planning to introduce his mother to the love of his life. Yesterday he felt such a sense of hope and optimism.

But now…

It was all gone.

“Matthew?” 

Speaking of his mother…

“Maggie,” he replied.

Something in his voice must have worried her. Or maybe she caught sight of the blood staining the bandages over his hands. Either way, she came rushing over. “What’s wrong. What happened?” She took hold of his arm and guided him down the steps to the rectory attached to the church. He took a seat at the small kitchen table while she fussed over him, removing his bandages and cleaning his damaged skin with warm water.

It was strange. This church, the people in it - Maggie, Father Lantom - were the source of so much of the betrayal that had shaped him. And yet he still returned to it. Again and again. 

Was it a form of masochism?

Or was he subconsciously searching for answers? For an explanation.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Maggie paused in the act of washing his wounds. “What?”

“Why did you let me believe I was all alone in the world?”

“Oh, Matthew.” Maggie dropped the cloth she’d been using and took the seat next to him. “I- I was so young when I had you. And I was so confused. I thought I was betraying God-”

“I’m not talking about that,” he bit out. “I know you were young. I know about the post partum depression. I don’t blame you for any of that. I want to know about later. When my Dad died, afterwards, my whole life…you let me believe I was alone. You lied to me. Father Lantom lied to me. I- I just need to know why.”

“Why are you asking this now? I thought you’d found it in your heart to forgive us.”

Matt laughed. “So did I. And maybe I have forgiven you. But the damage was done regardless.”

“What damage? You said everything you’ve been through led you to becoming Daredevil, and that you were content with that.”

“With that part of my life, yes. But the rest of my life? No so much.”

“What are you talking about. Tell me what happened.”

Matt sprang up from the chair and poked a finger in his chest. “I happened! I fucked it all up with Calina, because I couldn’t trust her. Because I couldn’t banish these thoughts that she was lying to me. Betraying me. Because that’s what I’m used to. That’s what I expect from the people who claim to care about me, and its ruining my fucking life!”

Matt turned away and gripped the edges of the sink, head bowed, as he tried to get hold of his rage. He could feel Maggie approach, then tentatively lay a hand on his shoulder. He fought the urge to shrug off her comfort, but a part of him didn’t want to undo all the progress they’d made together.

He didn’t want to do or say something in anger that would ruin this relationship too. But he was just so goddam frustrated! He could feel years of resentment bubbling up to the surface.

Maggie must have sensed it, because she finally gave him the answers he craved. “When your father was alive,” she said, in a faltering voice, “I convinced myself that coming to you, and telling you the truth would just hurt you. Confuse you too much. Then, after he died, I convinced my self that it would do more harm than good. Eventually…I realised the truth.”

“Which was?”

“I’m a coward, Matthew. I was too scared to face you, and own up to the biggest mistake of my life. To save myself from that, I hurt you instead. And I’m so, so sorry for that.” She pressed on his arm, getting him to turn and face her. When he did, she reached up to take his face in her hands. “But you, Matthew Murdock, are not a coward. You are the bravest man I’ve ever known. And the strongest. It takes both to be able to love someone - it isn’t something that weak people do.”

“I do love Calina. So much. But I just don't know how to give her that last little piece of my trust.”

“My dear boy, that’s where the courage comes into play. It’s a leap of faith to give over your heart and your trust to someone else, never knowing for sure if they’ll keep them safe. You just have to be brave and jump. I have a feeling that Calina won’t squander those gifts.”

“But will she trust me with her heart now? After the things I accused her of…”

“Only she can decide that. But you need to go and find out. Fight for her. Don’t just hole yourself up hitting bags of sand - figure out a way to win her back instead.”

Matt nodded. And then, because he was feeling so drained and emotional, and because she was standing so close, he gave in to the impulse to drop his head down to her shoulder. Maggie froze for a fraction of a second before wrapping her arms around him. He hooked one arm around her waist…and they were hugging.

His first ever hug from his mother.

He could feel in the slight tremble in her frame how much it meant to her. It meant just as much to him.

And he knew he needed to let it go. All of the resentment. All of the anger at her betrayal. Father Lantom’s lies. Even Elektra and Stick's offences against him. Everything.

He needed to truly forgive and move on - for his sake, for Maggie’s, and for Calina most of all.

Because he wanted to be a better man for her.

After a few long moments, he stepped away from the embrace. “Thanks Maggie. I, um, should get going, I guess.”

“To Calina?” she asked, in a slightly bossy tone.

“Yes,” he laughed. “To Calina.”

“Good.”

Matt stepped back out into the bright spring morning, feeling a renewed sense of hope. He wouldn’t let things end with Calina this way. He wouldn’t let things end at all. He loved her. And he knew she loved him. He just had to convince her to give him another chance.

And he was a lawyer - convincing people was one of the things he did best.

He set off back in the direction of this apartment, already mentally composing his speech to Calina. His grovelling, heartfelt and earnest declaration that would hopefully persuade her to take him back. In fact, he was concentrating so hard on what he would say to her, that he missed the first warning signs that something was wrong in the city.

Very, very wrong.

But then he heard the first scream. His head jerked up at the sound trying to pinpoint the location. That’s when another scream rang out, from a different direction. Then the sounds of multiple cars crashing all over the city. A plane going down in the distance...

And beneath all that noise, and chaos…a terrible, eerie silence was growing in the world. As if thousands of heartbeats and breaths and voices were just…disappearing. Being snuffed out at once.

That horrible absence grew and grew, and with it, Matt’s fear. He started running, that same urge from yesterday overtaking him - the desperate need to get to Calina. He barrelled past other pedestrians on the street, those who were rooted in place, looking around in terror. He felt himself run through flakes of…something. Too warm to be snow. Too insubstantial to be leaves or bits of paper floating in the air. He didn’t stop to figure it out, he just kept running.

Until suddenly, he started to feel...strange.

As if the ground was no longer beneath his feet. As if the air was no longer brushing against his skin. As if all his senses were dulled. He staggered to a halt, and grasped his chest, as if to reassure himself he was still…him. But his hand vanished before it could make contact.

There was no pain. No sensation to it at all. He    w a      s                   

j               u                       s                           t

                                    

 c             o                          

                                                         m

                                                                                    i

                                                                                           n

                                                             g              

 

 a       

                  p

                                                        a

                                                                                                      r

                                                                                                                                          

t…

————–

END OF PART 3

————–

Well, for those of you who aren't familiar with Avenger's Infinity War...the BLIP just happened! And I don't actually know for sure if Matt was blipped in canon or not, but in my story he was.

Poor guy!

Find out how he deals with it here...

Part 4, chapter 1

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @sio-ina-bottle @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan @freckledbabyyy @chezagnes

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

[hyenahunt]

Saga: Rivals - 24

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Hokuto

Proofreading: moricchiichan (JP) & Peace (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Hokuto: We’ve crossed over a mountain of corpses, walking ahead of them. When it comes to DreamFest, we're more experienced.

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Reverse Live Stage

Time: A few hours later

Hokuto: (Alright, so far so good.)

(And this isn’t a surprise. It's just as I expected — besides Rain-bows and Ba-barrier…)

(And Yumenosaki Academy’s units in general, the other competitors aren’t catching up well with the DreamFest system.)

(That’s natural. This is a strange system, applying a system designed for competitive sports to idol activities.)

(It doesn’t matter that it was explained to them beforehand. It takes time to understand… to get a feel for it.)

(I was confused too last year, at the start.)

(It was completely different from the normal idol work I’d learned from watching my father. It’s incredibly simplified, easy to understand, and yet at the same time, punishing.)

(Normally, idol work is something you take more slowly, at your own pace.)

(A huge mistake doesn’t mean a huge blow to your career… Because your friends and fans would be there to encourage and support you.)

(The profit and loss you caused would be recorded, of course; but the success or failure of each stage, whether you won or lost against your costar, would typically be more vague.)

(Even if the results were terrible, you’d still have dreams and hopes to hold onto.)

Hokuto: (But DreamFest is a competition for votes. The fans vote for us idols and decide our worth in comparison to one another, recorded as hard numbers.)

(Just by seeing and comparing these numbers, even without watching the concert…)

(You’d start feeling like you know which was the better idol.)

(When this becomes the norm, you’ll end up with a situation like Yumenosaki back in the spring.)

(The difference in levels become recognized, solidified, and eventually irreversible. No… People lose hope for any chance of turning the tables.)

(In Yumenosaki, watching and judging concerts affects our grades, so everyone eventually votes only for the undefeated without thinking.)

(Because it was the most efficient and easy thing to do.)

(At first, the system was probably imposed to increase the idols’ motivation, by contesting them against each other. At least, as far as the official stance went.)

(Of course, it must’ve also been part of the Student President’s plan in leading the revolution last year to success.)

(They created an evaluation method that was originally blurry, establishing rules that worked to their advantage.)

(Gambling is done so the bookmaker can make a killing. That’s what they were doing.)

(That system is still being utilized now, even while going through several small adjustments such as the addition of a new level, S3.)

(But are things really fine as they are right now?)

(According to my father, CosPro’s Special Student system gradually gathered opposition and gave birth to people who bore hatred towards idols.)

(I think their system was at first designed to select potential super idols and raise them dearly.)

(It’s a replica of what the idol industry has done all this time. Only a select few can achieve glory… and the rest become slaves that serve them.)

(Even so, it must’ve worked long ago. Both my father and Sagami-sensei managed to rule over the entire industry, like kings that reaped tax and governed their people.)

Hokuto: (But that era is over now.)

(Historically, nobody has ever invented an ideal system that lasts forever.)

(We must never accept things as they are, always allow room for skepticism, and start a revolution if necessary… But as long as a system is viable, we'll still use it to our advantage.)

(DreamFest is war. For better or worse, we’ve gotten used to it.)

(But other Mentor-Disciple units who joined Project-Saga halfway haven't; this isn’t what normal idol activities are like.)

(They live in a world without war. And I do find that enviable. The idol I first admired…)

(My father lived in a peaceful paradise where he loved and was loved.)

(That’s how a normal idol should be. But in Yumenosaki Academy, it’s different.)

(Our determination and experiences are different. We’ve just made a preemptive attack on our defenseless, unarmed opponents.)

(I hope you guys won’t think we're being unfair. This is what’s normal to us.)

(Not having the slightest clue that they’d face an attack, they became overwhelmed by the breach we made. Now they shirk and run away, unable to release their full potential.)

(They panicked, thinking, What? This isn’t how it’s supposed to go!)

(Of course, those with quick wits grasped the situation at once, making a late comeback.)

(But they won’t make it in time. We’ve crossed over a mountain of corpses, walking ahead of them. When it comes to DreamFest, we're more experienced.)

(Reverse Live has a simple rule.)

(As if to conclude Project Saga’s long journey, nearly all the concerned units are participating to compete to be the best.)

(At its core, I think it’s close to the preliminary battles of Starfes back then. We choose our own opponent, and fight a one-on-one battle onstage.)

(The result of our performance battle is decided by the votes of our audiences.)

(The votes we gained become ours when we win, but will be subtracted from the score we’ve accumulated when we lose.)

(That’s what’s unique about it. Good if we can win, but the risk we must shoulder when we lose is pretty huge.)

(Especially if we had a close battle with a worthy opponent — )

(Since our score is deducted from the votes the audiences gave us, that means…)

(The better performance we give, the more cost we must pay when we lose.)

(This is just like a gamble.)

(If you keep gambling, thinking you have it all under control, you’re eventually going to shoot yourself in the foot. You need to make bets only when victory is sure… and stop at the right time.)

(Doing a close battle with an opponent you don’t know you can win against will bankrupt you when you lose.)

(The important thing is to keep a calm mind and win the battles we can win for sure.)

(An overwhelming victory means we can obtain a large number of votes, too.)

Hokuto: (So the weak are targeted like easy marks until their scores hit zero, forcing them off of the stage — )

(They’ll lose their participation right in due course. The way things are, the weak will be weeded out.)

(We Rain-bows are a step ahead of the rest thanks to having been active longer.)

(But normally, anyone would be too scared to do a match.)

(Yet, because the rule dictates that you can’t reject a challenge, the concert never comes to a standstill.)

(It’s a detestable design beneficial only to the strong, squeezing those unused to DreamFests dry.)

(I’m not going to protest, as this setup gives us an advantage, but…)

(It’s strange how losing with a huge gap would damage us less.)

(Why make that kind of rule…? Who decided the contents of Reverse Live?)

(Father spoke like it wasn’t his business, but it felt like an act. I think it’s his doing…)

Hokuto: (Father is a terrible actor when compared to Mother. I should be able to see through his lies if I actually scrutinize his words.)

(I’ve seen and gone through enough to be capable of that much… Father.)

[ ☆ ]

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[pappydaddy]

Just seen a few spoilers for obx and I'm sick anti jiaras and lesbian kie truthers we really lost here. Hate how this entire show went from a fun friend group that will do anything for each other to everyone has to have a romantic partner within the group or else. Idk if I'll watch s3, which is such a shame bc I was OBSESSED with it in 2021 :/

-obx anon idk if you remember me

ON MY GOSH OBX ANON! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH LOVELY!! how are you (the obx mess aside)?

i was really hoping that they were teasing the relationship between kiara and jj (fools hope i guess). obx is a clear example as to why queer people still have to fight to be represented. kiara is not straight, but each person needs to fit into a nice little pair off and there has to be three girls and three boys who end up together bc heteronormativity wins every time. i wanted kie to have a gf so bad, but nooo. but i also don’t think kie’s charcuterie is ready to be in a relationship. jj either.

but, tbh, i think the writers just don’t know how to make a friend group where there is one girl and the guys don’t all want to get with her. it’s a narrative that is cringy and so over used.

it’s giving low riverdale vibes where the writers were like “screw continuity, we want this”. like it started as looking for gold bars/nuggets, to a golden cross, to whatever the hell they are looking for now. i wanted a ragtag team of friends who are found family (not couples - FOUND FAMILY) who are in over their heads with normal, everyday enemies. thugs wanting the gold, repercussions of their actions, the discrimination between poor and rich, the kooks, the police, etc. not fucking pirates and shit. like it’s not that enjoyable bc it’s lost that carefree, summer, breezy feel to it. it took a huge nose dive and it cannot be pinned on netflix. netflix has its downfalls, but they are doing great with stranger things because it is one of its biggest profits and the writers are GOOD with continuity. now, if they make stancy a thing again, i will riot, but they are showing wills struggles with being queer, they are progressing the show, they are making it realistic (for a sci-fi show) and they are focusing on the characters developments outside of romantic relationships.

i am probably gonna watch it bc i want to write for obx still, but idk, i need to know what to skip.

[insomniactalks]

I've been thinking about/meaning to write this meta for several months, even before making a Tumblr LOL. 😅 I finally found the time this week, so here we go, folks! The main point of this meta: Portwells, I think we should prepare for a possible love confession for EJ and Gina by the S3 finale. Why? Keep reading! 😚 (I'll be analyzing episodes 1.10-2.12 and a bit of S3 bts for this meta. This is deff super long. Read at your own risk! 😓🤣 Sidenote: I think I’m getting the hang of this gif-making haha😁)

1.10: "Breaking Free"

Here’s the stanza that Ricky and Nini are singing when we see EJ and Gina talking about the plane ticket in the S1 finale:

More than hope, more than faith

This is truth, this is fate

And together we see it comin'

More than you, more than me

Not a want, but a need

Both of us, breakin' free 

I’ve bolded certain lines and phrases I wanna focus on. While Rini are singing these lines, Portwell are further solidifying the fact that they are a unit, a team, a fact established as early as 1.02. They are “team Wonderstudies” (2.06) after all, and while they both contentedly watch what they’ve done (meaning Gina got Ricky back in the show and EJ stepped aside for Nini to choose her Troy), they stand as a team. I believe at some point in 1.09 and 1.10, both EJ and Gina knew deep down that Nini and Ricky were always gonna choose each other. So they had to let them go. Doing the right thing was about “more than you, more than me” for EJ and Gina b/c they ultimately put their selfish goals aside for the ppl they care about. As Gina thanks EJ for “buying her the plane ticket,” the last three lines are being sung in the background. Bringing her back for opening night was more than just EJ wanting to look good in the public eye (which is what he was tryna do with his Instagram confessionals LOL). It’s a private conversation b/t the two of them where Gina quietly thanks EJ for his kindness and he simply says it wasn’t “fair for her to miss all this.” The “both of them” are finally “breaking free” by that point, together, whether they know it or not. They even look at each other at the exact same time while Nini sings “together” in the background!           

2.01: "Something in the Air" and Happy Ever After

Here’s the exact stanza EJ and Gina sing in the video/song:

The end and the beginning of another year

Takin' in the memories that we've made right here

The tree is goin' up

And my roots are goin' down

All around I'm feelin' it

Are you feelin' it?

I’ve once again bolded the lines I wanna focus on. While Gina and EJ 1.0 is in the past, the first half of S2 (and the new year) sees the two of them struggling with old habits. Thankfully, by 2.05 and 2.06, EJ and Gina are embracing and loving the support around them from the other Wildcats and are slowly but surely opening up to them. They no longer operate as strong-minded independent individuals, interested in their own selfish desires, they are now real team-players, having the Wildcats’ backs. The “feeling it” lines could refer to the “it” as the love and support from their friends, or the holiday spirit, etc. In my opinion, for the purposes of this meta, I think the “feeling it” lines are referring to future love between Portwell, esp b/c they sing the last two lines together. Besides Seblos, Gina and EJ are the only ones to walk down the stairs in the video. Gina is a little ahead of EJ (just like in their character arcs hehe) but EJ eventually catches up and they meet at the landing, together. Also, Gina crosses her hands over her chest (heart?) as she sings those lines (“I’m feeling it”):

Gina also sings about “finding happy ever after” right besides EJ in the “HSM 2 Medley”:   

Maybe she finds her happy ever after by the S3 finale (*hint hint clue clue* LOVE CONFESSION!!!)? She even looks in EJ’s direction as she says it.    

2.05: EJ Opens His Eyes to Love

After dropping by the AV Club for a few weeks, EJ is tasked by Mazzara to “figure out his story” and “try to find more interesting ppl to learn from,” which is an assignment he takes seriously. EJ never stands in front of the camera or even have his phone out this episode. His focus is entirely on the ppl around him, even when the camera’s not on (like his tender moment with Gina)! What’s important about the progress of Portwell’s relationship in this episode is EJ’s moment of realization. He starts to fall for Gina b/c of what he learns about her. She, along with Seb, just spent the last few days planning out the quinceañero Carlos always wanted. EJ also learns more about Gina’s life during her speech on stage, where she admits she “keeps on dancing” to “escape” from whatever is going on in her life. Not only that, she recreates one of Carlos’ dances to honor him as her friend and fellow dancer. Whether they know it or not, Gina and EJ work as a team once again to show Carlos how much they care about him:

I think there’s something to be said about the fact EJ starts to realize his feelings for Gina when she does something really kind and selfless for someone they both love.      

2.06: Learning to Love Again / 2.08: Lessons Learned

A while ago, I sent an anon ask to @gracestone about EJ asking his future self if he could ever “learn to love anyone after Belle” and how that connects to the lyrics of “If I Can’t Love Her” that are playing during the montage. Anouk even made an absolutely beautiful gifset about this. Check it out if you haven’t already!😍 I’m not gonna go into more detail about the foreshadowing of EJ and Gina falling in love in 2.06 and 2.08 b/c it seems obvious enough. Lmaooo. I think Anouk perfectly captured the moments I was talking about and it seems self-explanatory. In 2.06, EJ asks his future self if he can “learn to love anyone after Belle” before taking a seat next to his future girlfriend, Gina, who shows her sign of approval by patting him on the back:

In 2.08, after spending several hours together having heartfelt convos and watching TV on the couch, Gina eventually falls asleep while EJ takes care of her before he leaves. Howie sings, “no lesson could teach me how I could have loved her and make her love me too” during Portwell’s part of the montage. I mean, all signs point to EJ and Gina falling in love in S3 (with 2.06 and 2.08 being the most obvious!).     

2.09: Gina Opens Her Eyes to Love

Besides deciding her first kiss has to be "the right guy" who "shows up and stays around" (all things which apply to EJ), I wanna note what made Gina realize her feelings for EJ. After a really long, tho insightful day, he shows up with a granola bar in hand, the very thing she's been craving. Not only does he anticipate her wants and needs, he shows up with a plan to drive her back for her flight in the morning. Beyond that tho, it's the fact Gina realizes her feelings for EJ while wearing his sweatshirt, even before they start dating. She's waiting for her flight to Louisiana so that she can visit her mom over spring break, so the very fact that she's wearing his third-generation Caswell family Duke sweatshirt is very telling. Gina leaves Salt Lake and the Wildcats for the week, but she takes a piece of home with her in the form of EJ's gifted sweater. That Duke sweatshirt provides a feeling of home, comfort, safety, etc for Gina while she visits her mom in a place she's "never been" (2.06). Gina briefly takes the sweater off for the "Ain't Seen Nothing" video, but promptly puts it back on when she's heading back to Ashlyn's house. I'm not claiming EJ's the only one to make SLC feel like home to Gina because all the Wildcats have played a part. However, she's wearing his clothes even tho she admits she's not sure where they stand. And then she puts the sweater back on even though she has two suitcases full of clothes. She makes a conscious decision to have something of EJ's close to her. Also, the very thing that makes Gina realize her feelings for EJ is the fact that he shows up without having to be asked. The granola bar is just a small, sweet gesture and reminder of how much he cares. He pays attention to her. And he shows up. Plus, she looks down at the granola bar EJ just handed to her twice b/c that's the simple sign the universe was sending her and gave her her moment of realization:

I also think the "right guy has just gotta show up and stay around" line is foreshadowing EJ will stay local after S3. By S2 finale, Gina decides EJ has met the requirements for who she wants to be her first kiss. In her own words, EJ is the "right guy." I feel like the "staying around" part could be interpreted as foreshadowing for PW's relationship by the end of S3.

2.10: Romance in the Cards

Miss Gina Porter literally spoke the words "he kinda saved me" in this episode. Gina 1.0 would never admit she wants or needs anyone's help. She does not see herself as "a damsel in distress" (2.09) so for her to admit EJ "saved" her over the break is major. Unlike Nini, who never wanted to be the "kinda girl who needs to be saved," Gina appreciates EJ looking out for her and taking care of her. He finally gets "the chance to be a hero" (1.04), but this time for the right girl. By the end of the episode, EJ decides Gina is worth the risk of getting rejected again, while Gina decides EJ is worth the risk of misreading the signs again. They both take a second chance on each other.

2.11: "Something There" and Family Affairs

Gina looks over at EJ three times while "Something There" is playing, a literal love song, mind you!

The "something" Belle and Beast are singing about is love. This seems to be clear foreshadowing of Gina and EJ falling in love with each other some day. The lyrics of this song are perfect for them because neither one ever expected to fall for the other, they just happened to bend unexpectedly over the course of the year. The lyrics "who'd have ever thought this could be," which plays over PW glancing at e/o thru the curtains, perfectly describes their situation. A similar line comes up again in "Second Chance." Before getting into that, I wanna note the sequence of events before, during, and after "Something There." Gina talks with Jamie (where you can tell they love e/o but the sibling relationship is strained), then we follow her into the "S/t There" performance (with EJ and Gina constantly smiling/glancing at e/o), to Jamie's convo with EJ. The whole point of those sequence of events is to show how absent Jamie has really been in his sister's life. Jamie so badly wants to assuage his guilt for not being there for Gina that he tries to put off his responsibilities on to EJ. We obviously know Gina has romantic feelings for EJ by this point b/c she calls their risotto plans "a date." Regardless, the show made a point to have EJ and Jamie meet and have the audience hear from Terri on what she thinks about him (all good things btw!).

One last thing I wanna talk about before getting to the next episode is the first pic of Gina looking at EJ in “S/t There.” As much as I was rooting for PW as S2 progressed, I wasn’t quite prepared to call Gina and EJ 'soulmates.' However, the moment of EJ and Gina looking at e/o thru the curtains made me change my mind. It’s the very fact that they cannot physically see e/o, yet EJ and Gina can just feel the other’s presence and that’s enough for them. Ashlyn sings “who'd have ever thought this could be" and PW immediately stare in the other’s direction? I mean, come on! 😫That’s exactly it! If you told EJ and Gina they’d be falling for e/o someday at the start of S1, they’d have laughed in your face. They’re even in the same side of the wings as they were in 1.01 when EJ grabbed the basketball off the floor behind Gina right before Nini’s audition. In that scene, they’re glaring at each other LOL.😂 Fast forward to about 7 months later, and in nearly the exact same spot, EJ and Gina are sending e/o heart-eyes without even knowing it! (I can’t add pics of this parallel b/c I’m pretty sure I’ve reached Tumblr’s pic/gif limit. So, just take my word for it hehe.😅)   

2.12: "Second Chance"

Both EJ and Gina are completely devastated when they think the other doesn't return their feelings (thanks to the miscommunication brought on by Jamie):

Before they even go on their first official date, the above scenes show us just how much EJ and Gina already like e/o. Then, we get to hear their inner thoughts thru song in the episode's namesake.

EJ's lines:

Was I a fool to read between the lines?

Did I misread the signs that much?

Who would've thought we'd come this far as friends?

Maybe that should've been enough

During "Something There," Ashlyn sings the line "who'd have ever thought this could be?" while EJ and Gina looked at e/o thru the curtains. That's exactly it! No one expected Belle and the Beast to ever actually fall for e/o. Just like Gina and EJ never expected to agree to go on a date t/g and eventually start to have feelings. These are the same characters who angrily walked away from e/o in 1.04 during their Wonderstudies schemes. Several months later, in what looks like the other side of the hallways in East High, EJ and Gina unknowingly break each other's hearts in 2.12. So much has changed b/t them and they truly have come so far as friends.

Gina's lines:

Maybe I'm safer when I'm on the run

No time to open up my heart

Maybe I'll hide behind my walls again

Instead of tearing them apart

Before talking about Gina feeling "safe when she's on the run," I wanna talk about the second line. We know Gina will be at Camp Shallow Lake over the summer, so she certainly has time to "open up her heart" now! I think a part of opening up her heart in regard to her relationship with EJ next season will be Gina falling in love. In terms of Gina feeling "safe when she's on the run," perhaps it can directly relate to her running towards EJ in the S2 finale to have her first kiss. He makes her feel safe by that logic.

Once they're on stage, the first transition we see is from EJ to Gina singing the following:

In my opinion, with Gina finishing EJ's sentence, it makes me believe they both found another chance to "fall" in love. The "falling" next season for Portwell will be falling in love (in my mind at least LOL😅). And the fact Gina is "wondering" what it'll take to "make the tide turn" tells me her searching for answers shows how much she likes EJ. They both also sing "what can make the fire burn" which implies the burning passion of love b/t them some day...maybe in S3?

S3: Behind the Scenes

I took a screenshot of one of Sofia's TikToks while they were still filming S3 b/c I noticed something. Here's the pic:

It's totally possible this is Sofia's own style and she may not be in costume yet. However, given she has her makeup done, and she's wearing a jacket over her clothes while inside her trailer, I'm gonna take this look as Gina's wardrobe. That being said, you notice the headband? Its got hearts on it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Gina Porter has only ever worn hearts on this show one other time in 2.03- the Valentine's Day episode. That makes sense given the occasion, but hearts aren't typical of Gina's fashion. Nini's and Ashlyn's sense of style have plenty of colors and patterns, including hearts. But heart-patterned clothes are rarely worn by Gina. Given the S3 sneak peek, it's fair to assume Gina and EJ have been dating for some time (a few weeks, maybe a month. Depends how long after S2 the next season picks up.) So the fact Gina has now incorporated hearts into her wardrobe I think is indicative of how EJ makes her feel. If she's in a lovey-dovey mood b/c EJ continues to show her how much he cares, perhaps that's reflected in the clothes she chooses to wear. The only time she wears hearts in S2 is in the Valentine's Day episode, which I'm just going to chalk up to the occasion. Now that she's dating EJ, and they're actually boyfriend and girlfriend, Gina wearing heart-patterned clothing items seems intentional. If EJ makes her feel cared for, taken care of, loved...maybe she'll present how she feels thru her clothes? Hearts usually only mean one thing...LOVE! I suspect (and am manifesting!!🕯🕯🕯) a Portwell love confession by S3 finale.

Further proof of a possible Portwell love confession are the kind of characters EJ and Gina are. EJ tells Nini he "was trying to hold onto what we had over the summer" (1.04). Gina tells Ricky she "wouldn't quit on us if I wasn't moving away" (2.06). In both scenarios, we learn more about the type of people EJ and Gina are. Once they have a good thing going with someone they like, they're willing to put in the work to keep it going. After just a few months of getting to know and falling for Nini and Ricky, EJ and Gina admit to wanting to continue to fight for the relationship. Both are hard workers who, once are sure of what they want, they are willing to put in the work to get it. They just keep going. They don't quit. Given the "leaks" for S3, the majority of which came from unreliable sources, I've seen some predict Gina may step out on her relationship with EJ b/c she has feelings for Ricky. I've also seen some ppl say EJ would cheat on Gina before she would cheat on him. If you truly believe either EJ or Gina would ever actually cheat on each other, you've mischaracterized the core of who they are. Plus, that just seems so disrespectful of their characters. 🤦🏽‍♀️

At their core, EJ and Gina are extremely loyal and protective of their loved ones. Once they've gained one's trust, and more importantly, once one has gained EJ's and Gina's trust, you can bet they've got your back. After experiencing and actively working thru their previous heartbreaks, EJ and Gina took a chance on e/o. They know how hard it is to gain their trust and to open up their hearts to one another. Why would EJ and Gina, after all the growth they've had, hurt each other by breaking e/o's trust? Now that they're finally dating, why would EJ or Gina ever hurt e/o by catching feelings for Val or Ricky, etc.? It took 2 whole seasons for them to agree to go on a date together. You expect me to believe they’ll be ruined in 8 episodes, in the first season they’re actually dating? 🤨

Besides sharing similarities to Troy and Gabriella, EJ and Gina are also a lot like Sharpay. By the end of summer in HSM2, Sharpay finally realizes how much the Wildcats really mean to her after almost losing everything. Tho EJ and Gina aren’t the one-dimensional kinda of antagonists Sharpay was in the HSM movies, they share similar character traits to her, such as being hardworking, ambitious, and talented. By the end of HSM3, Sharpay stays local by going to a state college b/c she’s willing to help Ms. Darbus with the Drama Department. She’s not ready to give up being a Wildcat just yet b/c it means too much to her. Both EJ and Gina learn over the course of S2 that true happiness is with the ppl they surround themselves with. Now that they both know that, wouldn’t it make sense for EJ and Gina to fight for what makes them happy (i.e. staying in SLC and wanting to continue their relationship b/c S2 has deff showed us they seem their happiest when they’re together [2.06, 2.07, 2.08, 2.09, 2.10, 2.11, 2.12])? 

I'm not saying Portwell won't be faced with tons of drama in S3. I'm sure they will simply b/c they're a main ship (plus they're the only couple at camp t/g). But that doesn't necessarily mean PW's relationship is completely and utterly doomed next season. Just like Troy and Gabriella, and Shane and Mitchie, EJ and Gina just might end their summer stronger and better, together. 🥰

(Last thing, I do think it’s only fair for Redlyn and Seblos to have their love confessions first b/c they’ve been dating longer. However, Ash, Big Red, Carlos, and Seb might be too scared or nervous to actually admit it out loud. In 2.08 and 2.10, both couples seemed to have trouble communicating (which is perfectly normal for teenagers!), but were able to resolve their issues soon enough. Gina and EJ had only one instance of miscommunication in 2.11 (which was entirely Jamie’s fault, btw. But they resolved it in just a few hours anyway). Portwell don’t seem to have any issues communicating. In fact, they’ve been shown to have really healthy, open communication skills. Because of that, I think once EJ and Gina are sure of their feelings, they’ll have no problem admitting to loving e/o. Seblos and Redlyn might let their fears take over and get a bit “tongue-tied” (2.10) when trying to admit they’re in love. But I deff think we can expect a Seblos and Redlyn love confession soon! Maybe even in S3 (thru phone call/facetime or night of the musical if Seb and Big Red come to visit! Could even happen really casually, as if they've been saying it. 🤔)).😊

[darling-i-read-it]

Bouquet

Michael Kelso x reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: michaels reputation

Author’s Note: steven supremacy but kelso could be kinda cute too lmao. I hope you like it love!

Requested: by anon, I'm the anon who requested Kelso x reader. I thought of something like, set in the beginning of s6 after Kelso helps Jackie and Hyde get together the reader being the cool girl in school (around Jackie's age) and she's really smart and has a bubbly/nice personality. She starts hanging out with the group (maybe because of Jackie? Idk she could be her friend first) and despite his reputation, she's friendly to him. He really likes her and hanging around her motivates him to review his attitude. She has feelings for him but does NOT want to fall for him because of all the things the group says about him. He's aware of this, and does everything in his power to prove her he's different.

Endings up to you 🥰

You don't even have to use everything in the prompt, I just really like the idea of him trying to be a better person, and I would like to read about the whole 'Michael wants a girl but the group is blocking him out of worry for their friend so he has to show he's a better person'.

And he's also not my favorite but I think he's super sweet in s3 and s4 and with the right amount of character development could be a thoughtful boyfriend

Thank you so much love ❤❤

Summary: the request

Genre: fluff

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

Jackie ran up to you before school even ended. She had just gotten this new outfit she was wearing (at lunch because who actually went to school anyway) and wanted to show you. You walked out of your class holding your books tight to your chest, surprised to see a small girl rushing toward you.

“Look at these boots!” she said and squealed a bit. She showed them off to you and you nodded, giving her a flashy smile.

“They look great Jackie!” you said because they really did. You were pretty sure Jackie could pull off anything she wanted to. You started walking to her car together and she flashed the keys, as she often did. They dangled from her fingers.

“I’m going to Formans, you wanna come?” she asked.

“And hang out with your whole group? I don’t know if that’s a great idea Jackie, you all seem pretty close,” you told her honestly. You had seen everyone around school and they seemed nice enough but they were always together. Through Jackie you had found out that they pretty much exclusively dated each other too. You just never thought you would fit in with them.

“They’ll love you! They’ll love you regardless because I love you and I have good taste,” she said, starting her car. You pursed your lips and thought about it for a second. You didn’t wanna be stuck there. You supposed your house wasn’t that far away from Eric’s, you could probably walk if you really needed to. Plus maybe they will like you.

“Okay I guess.”

“Wonderful! Some things you should know,” she started, in her gossipy voice, “don’t mind what Fez says Donna and me just ignore it. If Michael tries to flirt with you, ignore him.”

“I have Michael in my english class, he seems nice,” you said. You knew his reputation and what he had done to Jackie but she was mostly over it.

“Don’t even think about it. I’m not going to let him have his grabby hands all over you. I escaped that and now I’m with Steven thank God,” she muttered. You nodded.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

=====

When you arrived, Jackie introduced you to everyone there. Overall everyone seemed to like you or they were indifferent to your presence.

Donna told you the second you arrived that if Kelso tried to flirt with you you should ignore him. He wasn’t there the day you went because he had been in detention but you ran into him the next day at school. He sat next to you in english class.

“You’re Y/N right?” he said. You raised an eyebrow. You had assigned seating and you knew he wasn’t assigned to sit next to you. Class hadn’t started yet though so you supposed he had time.

“Yeah,” you said carefully. A dumb smile went over his face and he moved his hair to the side.

“I’m Michael Kelso. I heard you met my friends,” he said.

“Yeah I did,” you said. “They were really nice.” He nodded, that smile still there on his face. You gazed at him for a second, into his eyes. They looked almost completely blank. They reminded you of puppy eyes.

“Yeah they are nice aren’t they.” He looked up at the teacher who was about to get the class started.

“No offense Michael but they all told me I shouldn’t talk to you,” you said, adding a little laugh to try and ease up your words. He nodded.

“I figured. Don’t listen to them though.”

“I want us to be friends.” You put your hand up and he shook it, very happily. “But just know I’ve been warned.” He nodded aggressively .

“Noted!” The teacher pointed at Michael.

“Kelso! Back to your seat.”

=====

“I don’t know why you told her not to talk to me,” Michael said as he sat on the couch arm. He crossed his arms. Donna and Eric were sitting on the couch beside him, Fez on the chair to his left and Hyde and Jackie on the chair to his right. You were sitting on the other couch arm.

“We didn’t say that,” Donna corrected.

“All we said was that if you tried to flirt with her, we would collectively put an end to it,” Eric finished.

“Yeah Kelso man, you can’t flirt with everyone who walks through those doors,” Hyde concurred. Fez smiled.

“Not like me,” Fez said.

“Yeah well that’s just part of your personality,” Donna said, laughing a little bit. Michael opened his mouth in amazement.

“It’s part of my personality too!” he yelled.

“Just face it Michael. You’ve messed with too many,” Jackie said, head held high. You laughed a little bit. Michael turned to you.

“I will get you to like me. Even if I have to be good to do it.” You shrugged.

“Michael-” you started but he cut you off.

“No. I will.” He said. You shook your head a bit and leaned back. Donna looked up at you.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said honestly and you believed her. You had to admit, you had a lot of fun with these people. Guess that was why they were so close all the time.

===

Michael kept his promise that he would get you to like him. He spent the whole week doing small things for you here and there, trying to make sure that you noticed him. Sure, after he gave you the flowers and you thanked him he bragged about how good of a guy he was, but he was really trying.

Michael barged into Eric's basement and almost fell over doing it. He was pleased to see that only Eric was home, watching TV and flipping through a magazine. He looked up at Michael, uninterested and then back at his magazine.

“I think I’m in love,” he whispered. Eric scoffed.

“Didn’t you say that about Jackie?” he asked.

“Maybe.” There was a pause where Michael tried to retain the information but he came up empty. “I don’t know. But I mean it this time.” He sat down aggressively on the chair to the left of Eric. Eric finally closed his magazine and looked up.

“You barely know her.”

“I know her plenty!” he exclaimed. “We have english together and she’s so smart. She’s so nice to me!” He said that last part with a whisper scream. “And she hasn’t given in yet. She’s got stubbornness.”

“Got stubbornness?”

“You know what I mean!” Michael shook his head and Eric saw his expression grow serious which was very very rare in the case of Michael Kelso. “I feel excited when I see her and when she smiles at me it makes my stomach feel…” He put his hands up and waved them aggressively in demonstration. Eric leaned back in his chair.

“Well dang. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Me neither!” “Do you think she likes you?”

“Not now that you’ve all told her I suck!” Michael shook his head, defeated. “So stupid.” Eric laughed a bit.

“You can’t blame us. If you want her, go and get her.”

===

Michael held a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He had used the last of his money for the week buying them and still wasn’t all that sure if you would like them. He didn’t expect the nerves that came with trying to ask you out. Usually if someone rejected him (which was rare, he liked to point out) he could move on quickly. He didn’t want you to reject him.

He walked into english class and you were already there, sitting at your desk, flipping through the assigned book. He took a deep breath and took the strides over to sit beside you. You looked up at him and gave him a small polite smile.

He took one more breath and then brought the bouquet out from behind his back. Your eyes went wide at the size of it.

“Would you pretty please go on a date with me?” he asked. You took the flowers from him and for a moment was stunned that he had actually asked. The flowers were truly beautiful.

You met his eyes.

“Yes Kelso I will go on a date with you.” He fist bumped the air aggressively and you laughed a bit, trying to ignore that he was making a big scene. He turned to you with a big smile.

“You won’t regret it.”

“You better not make me.”

“Kelso!” The teacher called, pointing his pen at Michael. “Get back to your seat!” they hissed. You laughed a little bit as he shook his head.

“I’m very comfortable right here,” he pointed out.

“Kelso.”

“Alright alright.” He turned to you as he got up. “I’ll see you at Forman’s basement tonight. You nodded.

“Yeah.”

“They’re never gonna believe it.”

“Jackies gonna scream,” you said. He shrugged.

“Let her scream. I think I won this one.”

[misticloyal]

You'd be surprised to know I had the same thought.😅😅😅(I mean your theory Mac following the tutor Mk)

But looking at it further, I think Mac was so desperate to get rid of LDB, that his only hope of being free and out of debt with LBD is to defeat her.😗😗😗

And what better way to defeat your enemy, than helping the hero to recover his powers.😎😎

Mac was pressuring MK so he could get his powers back (he doesn't care about Wukong because he's slowly getting them back)

Mac is literally so desperate to get rid of LBD that he had to resort to helping the hero (MK and Wukong), but he won't help them willingly (he's too proud to ask for help).

TRUE!

Watching Macaque's reaction to LBD either goading him, or telling him that he will not be able to 'mess up' on any of the tasks she gives him definitely makes me think that he's obv not in control of the situation.

He could've gone a couple of different routes for trying to defeat LBD and piggybacking off of the MC group would totally be something he would do lmao

I was about to say that in episode 8 we figure out that he didn't know about the Samadhi Fire plan because that's when he reveals to LBD that the main cast are trying to use it to defeat her, but then I realized that literally this whole time he was trying to intercept Tang for the ring so that crosses out that fleeting thought.

Pretty big brain of Macaque to withhold that information since it did actually end up helping him out and giving him another chance at surviving o7

.

Going back to what you said though, that made me think about the way even in s2 Macaque was helping MK from the start (when LBD was just starting to show up). Macaque was totally playing the long run like-

He knew LBD would come after him since he was too busy obsessing over Wu Kong so his backup plan x3 was literally to help MK out this whole time.

I'm interested to see what happens while the main gang is gonna go fight LBD post s3. If a Macaque centered episode happens, will he fight MK and Wu Kong differently?

How will MK react to Wu Kong and Macaque explaining their past (in my dreams this will happen but one can only hope. F in chat)?

Will literally any other character get involved between these three (Mei has tried briefly and then immediately got punished by having to control the entire goddamn Samadhi fire)?

Will Macaque start referring to MK as his student more than to ...

Still don't know what his true reasoning for calling MK that is??? I would say manipulation clearly, but Mk seems pretty steady on his feet about the fact that Macaque is definitely not a good person so and he never seems to doubt himself/stress about it (Other than correct him) when Macaque says it sooooo.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Will Macaque stop referring to MK as his student at all?

And the most important question of all:

Will Macaque and Wu Kong ever sort out their differences in peace (the answer is probably not but it would be kinda satisfying to see that happen because I'm a sap for characters getting along sometimes lol)

Find out next time in LMK season 4: The time where The Bone Demon gets her ass handed to her.

BUT s4's probably not gonna happen for some time so now the only thing we can do is theorize and make head cannons B)

[smithy-smith]

I love This Way Up series 2. Did it go the exact way I hoped? No. But I honestly think that I appreciated how much more real and three dimensional the characters all felt as a result of that. Although some aspects of the series felt a touch clunkier than S1, I think a lot of that can be put down to the fact that they had to work under some pretty strict COVID restrictions while filming. I’d be interested to know how Aisling Bea envisioned this series going before it had to be written to work during lockdown and if that meant significant changes to the scripts.

Anyway, more thoughts under the cut…

Shona & Áine : 10/10 sibling dynamic. They love each other so much. Are they verging on co-dependent? Probably a little bit, but it works for them. They would both kill each other and kill for each other at a moment’s notice, and I love that for them. Their interactions feel so real and you can truly get a sense of their deep love and affection for each other. If I tried to list all of my favourite Áine and Shona moments then I’d be here all day, but some highlights are: the whole time that  Áine is ‘helping’ Shona to unpack, the haemorrhoid, and also Áine and Shona lying on the floor together at the end. S1 was so much of Shona being there for Áine (understandably!) that it’s amazing to see that get flipped, and for it to be made explicitly clear that this isn’t just a case of the younger sibling relying totally on the older one. They need each other, and that’s wonderful!

Shona/Charlotte: I feel like we got more confirmation of something I’d sort of suspected- that Charlotte wasn’t Shona’s first foray into sleeping with other women, but that it was probably the first time that feelings got involved. I get the impression that she’s probably had one night stands with women, but relationships with men, and so as soon as Charlotte said that she was falling for her, Shona completely panicked. Charlotte was right to feel hurt and used, and that whole scene where they had it out in the office was so raw and painful. I’m glad they went down that route, and that it is clear that if they do reconcile then they’ll need to do a lot of work to get there. Ideally, I’d love that to be the outcome, but I’m happy to be along for the ride whatever happens at this point!

Shona/Vish: I love Vish, I think he’s sweet, but it still feels like he and Shona are on different pages. Maybe even different books, at least when it comes to their relationship. Him being away for this series really worked, as it allowed Shona to miss him and feel like she wants to connect with him, without the reality of him actually being around. I think it’s clear that she’s burying a lot of her feelings and it’s much easier for her to do that if he isn’t there. I really want see the fallout of that voice note…

Áine/Richard: God love them, but they need to sit down and actually talk. I think they’re super sweet together and that they could be really good for each other, but it’s obvious that Áine is having issues with telling Richard about rehab and her breakdown, and that she’s kind of terrified about what telling him will mean. (I get it. I too get that anxious panicky feeling every time I’m about to talk to other people about my mental health issues. I dread the thought of watching their face change in real time as they realise what a fucked-up mess I actually am…) Richard on the other hand is still dealing with the fact that he became the father of a teenager overnight, and is clearly still struggling to regain a sense of control over his identity as a result. That, combined with his intense level of Repressed British Awkwardness™ is definitely having an impact on how they communicate with each other. Him telling Étienne without talking to Áine first is the peak example of this- that is 100% a conversation they should have had with each other first, even though ultimately it was the right thing to do at this point. Fingers crossed that we’ll get a S3 as I really want to see if that communication issue gets resolved, or if it will be the death of their relationship… They had some really cute moments this series, and some moments with more honest and open communication, so I’m hopeful that they might be able to work things out, it definitely seems like that is an option for them!

Áine/Bradley: I LOVED that we got more Áine and Bradley time this series! Their flatmate dynamic in S1 was great, it very much seemed to sit in the ‘we’re friendly, but we’re not 100% certain that we are friends’ category, and his loud relationship with Emma was clearly a bit of an awkward sticking point, for obvious reasons! But this series they’ve spent more time together on screen and they are clearly solid friends- with potentially something more simmering away… I loved him giving Áine advice on how to be sexy and flirt with Richard when they were having problems, and his obvious acceptance of all her quirks as a housemate. In the fundraiser ep he was not feeling Richard’s vibes, which was understandable given Áine’s obvious insecurity and worries, and let’s be honest, what he’s heard about Richard so far probably hasn’t been the most flattering or reassuring! Áine turning to Bradley when she found out about Tom dying, knowing that he would be there and support her! The fact that he already knows about rehab, and it doesn’t seem to make a difference to how he treats her! Plus, that conversation at the end?? When he was saying ‘wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone you can relax with’?? It definitely seems like he is working through some stuff of his own, and that maybe he is starting to potentially see  Áine as that person… At the moment, it feels like their relationship is teetering on the cusp- if it tips one way he can fit into the protective ‘older brother’ friend mould, looking out for  Áine and supporting her. Or it could tip the other way and they could perhaps be at the beginning of something more romantic…

Étienne: he is so big! I’m hazarding a guess that he wasn’t in this series as much because it’s easier to send him off to France so that they don’t have to worry about exposing the child actor to COVID, but perhaps that was always the plan. His relationship with Richard seems to be improving slightly, but is obviously still a bit difficult for them both to negotiate. Again, fingers crossed for a S3 where he can be more involved, as I really want to see the fallout from Richard telling him about his relationship with Áine, and the change of tutors. God I wish Richard had waited for Áine before he did anything!

I haven’t even touched on the exciting development of Áine and James going into business together, and what that would mean for Áine’s personal growth. (Also her friendship with James! Hooray for Áine having more friends!) But this is already HELLA long so maybe I’ll dig into that another time :) 

Fingers crossed for S3, I think there’s still so much left to explore with these characters, and I hope that we get the chance to see that!

[drivingsideways]

Hey talk to me about your top three favourite kdrama women. What makes them special? What's a fic you would like to write about any one of them?

Mystery anon! :D What a lovely ask. 

I’m going to cheat a bit and divide my answer into characters I loved a lot, but do not want to write fic about, because I think the canon gives me what I need; and characters that I loved a lot but NEED TO BE RESCUED ZOMG.  (My fic writing impulses are 50% spite and 50% fix-it )

Caveat being that I’ve still watched only maybe a dozen kdramas, so I’m pretty limited in my knowledge!

Characters that I love a lot, but have very zero fic impulses toward:

Han Yeo-jin from Stranger/Secret Forest: What a delight! What an iconique character! Is there anyone like her? NO. LSY-nim gives us a delightfully complex character, and Bae Doona knocks it out of the park in every single scene, so I’m just happy to be along for the ride. I think what makes Yeo-jin special for me is the intrinsic place of empathy that she operates from.  I think “righteous” is a word that often comes with negative connotations (self-righteous, for eg), but I do think she’s one of the most righteous-in-the-good-way characters I’ve watched in kdrama or any drama. I’m tired of stories that portray goodness as “boring” , as unworthy of narrative breadth or depth, and I love that Han Yeo-jin comes to us like a breath of fresh air in our particular dystopian narratives hellscape. She’s good, but never naive. She’s righteous but never cruel in her moral certainties.  I think that LSY nim, in the second season especially, gave Yeo-jin the kind of arc that character deserved when she’s forced to really dig deep into herself to figure out how she’s going to live in the world in the face of a deeply cutting, deeply personal disillusionment, and I’m really hoping for an S3 to see how that plays out further. 

Goo Hae-ryung from Rookie Historian: Ok, I will admit this may be rose tinted glasses view due to this show being my gateway drug into kdrama, but c’mon! She’s a reader! and a Thinker! And loves her wine! She’s plucky! She’s cute! She’s got a wry sense of humour! She’s got principles! She’s got a solid common sense to her that somehow doesn’t get in the way of her dreaming BIG! Oh dear, doesn’t she sound like the Mary-est of Mary Sues? Good for her.gif,  I say! Anyways, Shin Se-kyung is unutterably charming in this (AS IN EVERY SHOW OMG GIRL) and I just have a huge fondness for free-spirited heroines who get to tramp through the narrative changing the world as they do! 

Lee Ji-an from My Ahjussi: I’ve never had my heart broken more OR restored by any single character. IU is *phenomenal * in this, I think she really stepped up to what the script demanded from her. Ji-an’s weariness, her fear and vulnerability, her prickliness, her anger and her bitterness, and how, despite everything, she fights : GOD. Just. Again, what I love about the writing in this show is that it’s deeply empathetic without being cloyingly sentimental. I think a less, hmm, imaginative writer/PD might have focused on the Lee Ji-an the victim, and while the show definitely tells you in no uncertain terms that she is one,  of both circumstances and a cruel society, I think it refuses to take away her agency over her own life.(Lee Ji-an when we meet her is too busy hanging onto life by tooth and claw to indulge in self-pity, but we also see the toll it takes on her not to be able to say “this is too heavy a burden for me to carry myself and it isn’t my fault”; the show I think approaches Dong-hoon from the opposite side- his emotional isolation is partly a result of his own choices, but he doesn’t see it yet, and so his journey is also about letting people in and sharing the burden, but also recovering his own agency over his life. It’s an interestingly gender-bent arc, which is one of the things I love about this show. )

Ok, can I please add one more?

Hwang Han-joo from Melo is my Nature: She just felt SO real to me. She’s someone who doesn’t have the spectacular brilliance of either Jin-joo or Eun-jung, and struggles with accepting her limitations but not allowing herself to be defeated by them? I love her struggles as a mother, as a working woman in a sexist industry, a woman who’s perhaps having to rethink and reimagine what she wants from romance. I love that she’s a little silly, a lot kind, and an optimist, and just. I just think she’s the bravest of the three, tbh, and I LOVE HER AND I WOULD WATCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT JUST HER (i shouldn’t have faves among the three i know, BUT I DO, IT’S HER, IT’S HER.)

Ok! On to the next section! And I’m going to cheat again because I can’t stop at three. SORRY. NOT SORRY. 

Characters I love and SHOULD write fic for if I weren’t such a tired and lazy bunny:  

Song Sa-hui from Rookie Historian: Oh, girl, girl, GIRL. I love how she fights to snatch her freedom from the jaws of the patriarchy. I love that she unapologetically centers herself while doing that, because she knows that nobody else will.  I love that she’s prickly and calculating. I love that she’s smart and knowledgeable. I am SO HAPPY that she got to carve out a little bit of freedom for herself, even if it also is exile to some degree. She *should * be Emperor Jin’s Prime Minister and steering the ship of state, while also carrying on a tumultous affair with Queen Min Woo-hee, while ALSO commiserating with Emperor Jin about his boyfriend Historian Min Woo-won’s regrettable tendency towards Principles (TM) and masochism-but-not-in-the-fun-way. (This takes up much of his time which is why Song Sa-hui is running the country, of course. It works out well for all concerned, well, except her dad, of course.)

Song Ga-gyeong from Search:WWW: What’s NOT to love about our brilliant, beautiful, emotionally tortured gay icon? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I loved how the show allowed her to be flawed and make bad decisions, and then allowed her to make better decisions and regain control of her life. What I do need to do, of course, is see the CANON LOVE STORY between her and Cha Hyeon through to the end. It must, of course, include at least one baseball game, a lot of tequila and messy beach kisses. 

Oh Ji-hwa from Beyond Evil: Oh boy, this year’s runaway hit cleared the extremely low bar for standard crime/ thriller shows by leaving more than one of its female characters breathing and with all limbs intact, and got called feminist for it BUT it didn’t do justice to any of them in any meaningful way and that never hurt more than in the way they sidelined Kim Shin-rok’s talent by not giving Oh Ji-hwa anything much to do. She’s a tough as nails cop, a loving sister, a devoted but unsentimental friend-and by rights SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE HEROINE OF THIS SHOW. My secret fic fantasy is to rewrite the show entirely by making her , and the two other female characters in non-antagonist roles- Yoo Jae-yi and Im Sun-nyeo- as the central characters, as they investigate a serial killer who targets women.  It’s the only acceptable version of this done-to-death (ha!) genre, I have no idea what the Baeksang jury and tumblr fandom is smoking when they hype the show so much, I want none of it. 

Jung Sun-ah from The Devil Judge: I love her rage, her spite, her passionate defense of women, her style, her sexiness, her rage, her rage, her brilliance, her tenaciousness, her smartness, her clothes, her refusal to hate herself for everything she is and chooses to be, her ambition, her comfort wielding power, her EVERYTHING. Dead, her? NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT. Here’s what *really * happened at the end of canon- she gets out of the building by planting that lady-like but still deadly gun against Kang Yo-han’s temple and making him lead her through his own “secret escape route” or whatever the fuck it was the show wanted us to believe. From there on out, it’s all sunshine and beaches, and scheming and waiting for the right moment to strike again-though of course, this time around, she also has to reckon with vigilant, tenacious cop Soo-hyun -another character who REALLY didn’t die for manpain reasons and had the good sense to leave her gay best friend to follow his psychopath boyfriend to Switzerland or wherever it is that star crossed lovers in kdrama land meet up on the regs these days- anyways, Soo-hyun and her are in this catch-me-if-you-can epic transnational honest and cute cop-and-beautiful sexy villain chase and yes, they WILL kiss (and more) AND IT WILL BE GLORIOUS. 

*whew *

Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk.

[bellasweetwriting]

Fix His Broken Heart

Jess Mariano x f.reader

(not my gif)

masterlist

request: Hiii, i want a jess fic🥺 theres not enough jess mariano fics here, how about after rory goes to visit him at truncheon he meets the reader and she helps him move on from rory and he falls in love with reader. 💞💞

requested by: @beautiful-thinking

note: I’m a big literati shipper so this was hard but also fun to write I really love this

warnings: movie references, drinking, gilmore girls s2,s3 and s6 spoilers, some fancy vocabulary, Logan hate

word count: 1,7k

reading time: 7 min

And he saw her walk away to his arms. She found comfort in another guy. She moved one.

He hated himself for realizing that after all these years of knowing this person, still, it isn't enough. He and Rory evolved separately, they don't have the same goals or the same resources. As much as they try, it seemed like destiny didn't want their paths to cross one another.

He realized that he lost her as soon as she walked out of that door. She was gone. What now?

He'll probably see her again at Luke and Lorelai's wedding; hell, he'll even see Logan there also. The way he despited that guy. He cheated on her, and still, there she was, madly in love with him.

Logan is better than him in Rory's eyes, and he couldn't do anything to change that. He was a forgotten part of her story, an item locked inside a box that she opens when she feels lost. She probably doesn' think of him anymore like she used to.

But he thinks of her at least once a day. When he walks through the bookstore and notices the new edition of Dawn Powell's My Home Is Far Away, or when his friends bring coffee and offer to him, reminding him of her slight coffee addiction. Who's he kidding? There's nothing "slight" about Rory Gilmore's coffee addiction, it's concerning.

Any little thing reminded him of her and the fact that now he's sure she doesn't think of him anymore... saddens him.

Everyone was celebrating the success of the event that day, while Jess drowned his sorrows in a cold beer, also glancing over the girls that walked past him.

"I should warn you that if you are planning to Kurt Cobain on my bar, don't." That expression provoked an immediate reaction on Jess's face. "Not a fan of dark humor?"

"Not when it comes from the mouth of a stranger, not," he replied, making the girl chuckle. "Do you always attend your costumers like that, Rick Blaine?" Asked Jess naming the main character of Casablanca, who happened to owned a bar/restaurant in the 1940s.

"Rick Blaine? Don't tell me you are one of those guys who listen to The Clash on repeat and think they are better than the rest of the world because they know references from black and white movies and have read at least one book by Bukowski in the last three months." Jess drank from his beer, making the girl opened her mouth widely. "Oh, God, you are! A living Danielle Steel novel main character drinking alone in my bar." He laughed.

"I used to be that guy," Jess corrected her. "I've changed."

"A girl?"

"A breakup with a girl, to be fairer. I work at a little bookstore called Truncheon. We are all independent writers, and to give you some credit, some of us do look like Danielle Steel's characters. Not that I have read anything by her, though."

Jess wasn't like that. He didn't tell people he doesn't know about himself or his personal life, but for some reason, probably the effects of the alcohol in that beer were making him loosen up a bit with this complete stranger. Yeah, a significant event has happened in his life. The girl he thought he was going to be with forever decided to be with someone else rather than him, and he hasn't thought of anyone else romantically. He's so used to being alone, so used to not having anyone to actually talk to, that, maybe, liberating his internal thoughts and regrets with someone he isn't going to see again is probably for the best.

Not a therapist or a friend, just, someone external who isn't going to dig dipper in his subconscious to understand his situation and actions or someone who is involved in the story; someone who just―listens.

"You read one, you read them all." She commented. "Independent writers, huh? Have you published anything I have written?"

"Probably not," he said with that typical modesty he has earned through the pass of the years. "I just have one book out, is a self-published, so..." She nodded. "I actually did a little road trip, trying to make independent bookstores like mine to put them in the store. Probably, by the end of the month, I'll have twenty bucks and a sticker that says: «keep trying, champ.»"

"How poetic," the barista murmured, and both chuckle.

"Do you have a copy of your book?" She asked, and he nodded, giving it to her. "The Subsect, by Jess Mariano. Truncheon Books," she read before turning it around and reading the back cover. "«A self-published, prominent and dark-humored coming of age short novel following the unique life of J., a seventeen-year-old with no place to call home.» That's dark. How much for it?"

"Twenty bucks and a sticker," she chuckled, "or, a free beer."

"Sounds like a fair deal, Jess Mariano." He smiled at the mention of his name. "I'm Y/N."

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." She placed the book inside her apron with a tiny smile. "So you work here."

"Oh, you said that because of the apron and the fact that I'm behind the counter? No, I'm just a big fan of... college bars in Philadelphia." The sarcasm in Y/N's voice made Jess grin. "My brother owns the place. He lets me live upstairs while I go to college, and I pay rent by working here. The books you see behind me are mine. I study on my break."

"What are you studying?"

"English. I want to be a screenplay writer." He sighed before shaking his head. "What?"

"A film writer? Why?"

"I love films. I love watching them, reviewing them, analyzing them. I want to write masterpieces. What's wrong with that? At least I'm not writing coming of age short novels."

"It's not a coming of age novel, that's just the hideous synopsis that my poet friends come up with for the book. It's actually a lot deeper than that."

"The only way of finding that out is reading it, right?"

"Right."

Both looked at each other for a few seconds before she asked for his glass to refill that free beer she offered him.

"How about... if I come tomorrow, take you out, and you buy me that beer? How about that?" Y/N chuckle before agreeing.  He didn't believe it actually worked. He had tried to ask girls out in the last two years, but they've always said that they weren't interested. But there was something different and intriguing about Y/N that had caught the young writer's attention. "At what time do you finish class?"

"Pick me up at eight here, I'll wait."

"Cool."

"Cool."

...............................................................................................................................

He was nervous.

A date. Jess has never even been on one before. Not even with Rory. He never took Rory on a date like a dinner or a movie before they started going out. He used to tease her, and she fell for him, God knows why.

He took Rory on dates when they were dating, although if you count the car ride as a date. No, it wasn't a date. She was Dean's girlfriend at the time, and he crashed her car.

Why did she even like him? He crashed her car for God's sake. If he was Rory, he would have hated himself.

He hated himself already.

It wasn't like in books. Girls are complicated, and the male writers he is so used to reading about usually don't talk about dates and how to get a girl; the girl is already in love with the main character.

She did mention Danielle Steel. Did she read that kind of dramas, like Nicholas Sparks and John Green, where the characters just die in each other's arms like a shoddy Shakespeare tragedy imitation? Did she like that? He didn't know how to be a "romance" kind of guy. He still used the "bully her because you like her" technique, and maybe that's the only part of him that hasn't changed with the years.

He still didn't know how to communicate and express himself. He still wasn't used to talking about his emotions or being in a healthy relationship where there's no such thing as privacy. He wasn't born to assist to cotillions and balls, wear tuxes like James Bond and use fancy words gentleman-like, such as "Farewell," "Luxury," "Eloquent," and "Hope you had a marvelous evening, thanks for joining us in our humble and splendid gathering."

But that was Rory's world. Probably Logan used words like that without even knowing the meaning of them.

He quickly noticed that thinking about his ex-girlfriend before a date wasn't a good sign.

Maybe he should stand her up? No, that is an old Jess move. He is a changed man, he doesn't treat girls like that anymore. He is better, he is more mature, he wants to achieve something, actually becoming a better and selfless person who thinks about the consequences before acting. He wasn't going to stand Y/N up.

By a quarter past eight, he was standing on the bar's entrance, making eye contact with the barista from the previous day. Y/N smiled at him before saying goodbye to the guy next to her, grabbing her purse and walking towards Jess.

"Thought you wouldn't show up, Romeo."

"Can't believe you took me for a coward."

"In my defense, I saw you drinking your problems away yesterday." He nodded before putting her coat on her shoulders for her, making Y/N smile. "What a gentleman."

"There are so many things you don't know about me. You would surprise yourself."

"Oh, let me guess: you've never been on a date before."

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Well, because we are walking instead of driving."

"I have a dark past with cars and girls. You wouldn't want me to be behind the wheel while you are inside the car after you hear it, believe me."

"Good to know." Both laughed as they walked under the streetlights of Philadelphia. "I've never been on a date either," she admitted, taking him by surprise, but not as much to make a comment about it.

Jess has never felt more comfortable. Next to her, he felt like he was free of judgments. Starting a new story, blank page, blank notebook. He felt safe, and he hasn't felt safe in another person's arms in such a long time.

This was good for him. To finally... move on.

And who better than her to fix his broken heart.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Riven x Musa

Ok, so I keep seeing posts everywhere that basically badmouth S8 and after seeing ten seconds of the trailer (YIKES to the animation, what’s wrong with the industry that they are making everything anime? Powerpuff Gen Z, I’m looking at you – obs: I didn’t watch it fully yet) I can see where some of the criticism is coming from but anyways…

My favorite Winx!couple EVER has always been Musa x Riven since I was kid and first watched the show (Netflix is not helping ‘cause I ship them even there).

I remember yawning at Bloom/Sky, rolling my eyes at Stella/Brandom and making a completely incredulous expression that I could literally feel forming on my face at Helia/Flora (can anyone say ‘unrealistic’?). Timmy/Tecna are a second favorite.

And why my Winx OTP are Riven x Musa followed after Timmy x Tecna? Because it reflects real life. In real life you’re not gonna stumble into people whose real and deep relationship problems are solved in twenty four minutes (not even that considering that some episodes present the “problem” half-way through said 24 minute-episode).

The breakup between Riven and Musa in S6 (spoilers everywhere after all) was one of the most mature breakups in the history of breakups with the hope for the future (yes, I’m completely ignoring S7, sue me, the whole thing was one huge filler anyways). And, after reading a lot of opinions on both ends (defending Musa/attacking Riven and defending Riven/attacking Musa) and watching the episodes in question (reuniting through reconciling) I think I can give my own analysis.

Since Musa AND Riven (individually and as couple) are my favorite characters in Winx, I think I CAN give a fairly unbiased view (hopefully).

*clears throat*

Ok, keep in mind that I’m defending BOTH of them, because I ship them too hard not to.

Musa Being OC (sometimes being called ‘brat’): C'mon, people! Musa and Tecna are OC since S4 anyways, where are the tomboy and the nerd? With the sneakers, T-shirt and comfortable-looking clothes? Noooo, now they all need neat skirts and hot pink high heels and long, glamorous hair. Do they look good? Of course, but and I would totally be less pissed if there was ANY indication on the reason for the change. Are they just maturing? Expressing themselves differently? Crowd mentality? Tune and Stella finally broke Musa down and Tecna followed soon after? Was it just to please Riven and Timmy? ANYTHING (even the 'pleasing a boy’ would at least be A reason - a ridiculous one that would piss me off, but A reason none the less), was just a sudden impulse that took?

Sure, we can talk about “character growth” until we are blue in the face, but the matter of the fact is that there was none.

The changes we see in Musa and Tecna are basically the creators making them more like the rest of the Winx (I’m including Aisha in this too, where is the sporty girl that matched the boy’s interest in extreme sports? C'mon! Even Bloom and her Girl Next Door looks are replaced with Bratz and Clueless-level of outfits).

Is anyone really going to look me in the eye and say Stella wasn’t a shallow (if friendly and good-natured) Mean Girl? She got better, but as I re-watch the show (currently in S3, meaning almost half-way through the content), Stella still worries more about her hair than anything else even while under literal fire.

More and more, Musa, Tecna and Aisha are losing their identities and what made them, IMO, the more badass Winx.

How did the two on the left went from this…

… to this:

Yeah, yeah, Musa still sings, Tecna still technobabble and Aisha is still a Warrior Princess but Aisha was the first one to go Bloom and Stella on us with Musa and then Tecna following soon after. It’s not just their clothing style, it’s the way they carried themselves too.

Right now? The only thing keeping them apart is their BF blues (different kind of blues) and some personal interests (singing, shopping, tech, the whole drama with Domino/Sparks, etc). But that’s IT, their personalities are going down the drain!

Sorry for the long-winded text, but the reason I’m expressing my disappointment at their change is because Musa’s reaction fits it. S6 we have such an AMAZING breakup (didn’t even think that was possible, WTH, right? Amazing breakup?) only for her to be mad as hell at Riven at S8? Bad writing, that has been dragging her (and the rest of the Winx) down to becoming just one unilateral, shallow character (the Specialists are also falling into that pit, what in the world did they do Helia in S8? He sounds like Thor telling about his “brave exploits” there, yikes). And continuity what? What continuity? Do they even remember how the breakup was written?

But ok, let’s put the Audience View aside for a moment and focus only on the In-Universe terms.

S6: You’ll always be my hero.

S8: What on EARTH are you doing here. 

I laughed a bit, the contrast just got to me but instead of getting mad at one or the other like most of the fandom, I laughed.

Musa followed that by saying that Riven has not maintained contact and just in that I would be beyond pissed as well and giving my support to Musa. WTH, Riven? I think that each season is more less six months to a year? Sort of? Still, zero contact for so long even after ending on amicable terms and wanting to stay friends? And he went off on his own! A text now going, “I’m not dead” would be the bare basics for Musa not to worry herself bald!

BUT then I also read comments about how this was a two-way street, why didn’t Musa call either? That’s unfortunately something that I very much doubt will ever be explained. One of those: did it or didn’t it? Musa could have called and went straight to voicemail with no signs of life from Riven or she might not have called and just expected him to call as if feminism were dead and all initiative must come from the guy (which doesn’t even fit because they parted as friends).

Since we have no info on the above, I put it on both of them. It’s not fair to say, “HE should have called!” or “Why didn’t SHE call?” because we don’t have fricking context. So the only thing we can take is: no contact.

BECAUSE I put the lack of contact on both of them, Musa’s reaction was a little too much, however, Riven shows up all smirks and leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and I would have flashbacks to S1 if it wasn’t for the animation style that made all the guys look like girls. Dude! Not the time for that kind of posture. Not saying that he should be all sheepish and rubbing his arm as if he had done something horrible (again: we don’t have context on the no contact) but a more neutral approach was warranted here. Nobody does themselves any favors with that kind of attitude no matter what how high of a horse they may be (rightly or not) riding on, if anything I would react like Musa solely on that one.

Next episode we have that Riven convinced the guys to follow the girls in some mission and Musa was angry. Again: I would be too. WTH? Yes, yes, they helped and if it wasn’t for them, the Winx would gotten seriously injured but Musa did have a point saying that this demonstrated that they had no trust in them and need their hand held, it was no sanctioned mission like on Earth after all. BUT, Riven does something that I would never expect from in S1-4: he explains, he reasons it, he puts it in all the words that he does trust Musa and co and that he only wanted to show that he’d be there for her (you know? One of the main issues in S6 that made them breakup in the first place? His inability to conciliate Specialist work with supporting his girlfriend and ultimately failing or feeling like failing in both?) and Musa still pouts, crosses her arms, and turns around. Geez. I expected that one from Stella, not Musa. I think the closest Musa has ever come to THIS was back in S2 when Jared explains that Riven was the one to recommend that he interview Musa and yada yada yada and she got mad and stomped off on the poor guy that didn’t even understand what was going on (only to immediately apologize to Jared and recognizing that it wasn’t him that she was mad at… like I said: what character growth?).

Riven then goes to show that he indeed grew when he asked for advice from Sky and Brandon (WTH, right? Can we picture that happening back in S1-3? He very grudgingly would LISTEN to UNSOLICITED advice from Nabu and Helia in S4-6). And does a very, very goofy and embarrassing show of affection. Yeah… again… I can picture Stella loving the light show with her face for IDK how many people to see but not Musa (although can we really blame the guy after the series went out of its way to make Musa all Stella-like? Clothes, attitude, the only thing missing is making Riven carry her shopping bags around and call him “Shnookums” (although the mental image is already enough for me to fall over laughing, just for the face Riven would make). Still, I have to count that one against Riven if only because (as much as the show gives only lip service to it) Musa isn’t Stella.

Riven being mind controlled (again) aside, those two are back together. And on the overall? Riven showed more growth than any other character in the show COMBINED (he is the Zuko of the show), that doesn’t go to say that he didn’t make mistakes since coming back in S8 (but that was more a guy trying to win back a girl than… betraying his friends for a pair of nice legs or… IDEK like in S1 – where, mind control or not the show itself made sure to make it clear that he had free will) or that he is now the one out of Musa’s league. I think that NOW it can actually work… if the show allows him to keep the progress, Musa is the next to see her flaws and work on them (which she showed to be able to do since S2) and put effort in the relationship. The difference between them is that Musa can actually work on herself and the relationship at the same time. That’s not me saying she is better than Riven in any way, everybody has their own pace and their own way to cope, to improve and to self-reflect.

I still root for them.

~*~

PS-IDK why, but I read posts about how Riven changed so much and posts about how all his progress disappeared and he is now back to his S1 attitude and I’m just cofused. Yeah, different of opinions and so on, but such opposite opinions on the subject of a guy whose relationship was focused on three episodes? 

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/18/21

i haven’t been able to get the tweet “castlevania is named that because it was the first metroidvania in a castle. hope this helps! :)” out of my brain. non-spoilery castlevania thoughts below

listening Mushroom Picker Dance by Flowex from the game Samorost 3. a good use case for spotify is making it spit out video game soundtrack i’ve never heard. i can only describe the bleeps and bloops as “scrubby”. hope that makes sense to LITERALLY anyone else. also my brain goes “ping!” when the guitar kicks in

reading the first volume of the poe dameron comics and ONLY the first volume of the poe dameron comics written by charles soule and mostly illustrated by phil noto, bc my library does not have the other ones. serviceable! checked back in with my brain about if we still like mr noto’s art and brain said “yes!”. i will not remember thesec omics by next week, and that’s good, bc they’re good enough to serve their purpose in the moment but don’t veer into gross weird shit. just regular weird star wars shit that’s never really explained, like this big egg.

watching castlevania s4 is more coherent than s3 but i still don’t enjoy it.

e9 is genuinely some of the most technically excellent animation i’ve seen in my life and way more than i expected from a netflix anime. well fuckin done there at least. sorry you’re all trapped in the stupidest plot that’s somehow not an idiot plot it’s just very poorly conceived

wish the trio got together earlier

as @itsybitsydragon​ pointed out, this show has the bad habit of undercutting its most emotional moments with low-quality banter. now, i do love some levity and some banter, but a time and a place gang

if they give me a s5 i am going to riot bc everything i wanted out of castlevania i got from crownofpins’ Baba series. and an extra three seasons of bad tv (so sad they cancelled it after s2) is extra shit i don’t need in my brain

playing new plan: instead of kind of shrugging every week and going “yeah nothing new in genshin or stardew or pocket camp” i am going to randomly generate a word (not the first word, but the first word that catches my fancy, bc the first word i got was “investment” and i don’t care for that very much). i will take that randomly generated word (this week is “bronze”) and go to itch.io, home of unspeakable games.

this week we have (free! play right in your browser!) The Flame Prepared - “In a retro-futuristic reflection of the collapsing Bronze Age, you manage a telephone switchboard that connects people across the world.“

it’s a cool concept, and it’s remarkably polished for a two-week game jam game. there’s not a lot of moving parts, and it all clicks together nicely. i do wish there were fewer hard failure points- this feels like it wants to be a traditionally-formatted visual novel with maybe a minigame instead of the format it is in now (although it uses the format it has very well imo- it makes textual sense and it does reinforce the feeling of desperation as you try to do something anything to help people within the confines of your job). it is satisfying to run your cursor over the tiles and watch them shiver a little, and it is satisfying to plug in the switchboard wires. they also did a good job of juggling eight separate characters’ storylines in under an hour and tying things up nicely.

the makers of the game have a more hopeful view of enacting change within a system than i do, but that’s too long to get into for a tuesdaypost. have this other thought instead: i’ve been playing a bunch of very asset-flippy Unity game demos for research lately (you’re a dude, in a mysterious corridor-based environment, trying to solve a Mystery by shooting things), which made the lesbians in The Flame Prepared stand out more. in my off time i do specifically seek out games with strong queer overtones OR canon queer characters, but this wasn’t tagged as such and it was Nice after a slew of things i didn’t particularly enjoy

making crossed stitch, the evergreen wretched hive pattern. damn i did a lot since the last time we saw this, two weeks ago

[noordledoordle]

“There are fundamental things about ourselves that we know to be true. It's important to remember those things when you find yourself in a tough situation, or you need to make a decision from the heart, but it's equally important to know that you can surprise yourself, too...”

Novel-sized post under the cut:

I don’t say much on my art posts or on Tumblr in general, but as we’re in the home stretch before SU leaves forever, I thought I’d leave a bit of commentary for the five people who may happen across this.

I started watching the original series a couple weeks after Friend Ship aired in 2015, mostly because I love MST3K’s Joel Hodgson and heard he was playing Mayor Dewey. I know it’s a common refrain that you have to sort of “endure” SU up to Mirror Gem, but that was not the case for me. The kookiness, the gentle nature of the characters, the overarching mystery of the setting - SU had me hooked right off the bat.

I loved all the characters (and I still love all the characters! Even if Ronaldo is best left as a background role and Resident Plot Oracle), but I was especially fascinated by Steven. Outwardly, he was as laid-back as his dad, and seemingly took a lot of stuff in stride, even his odd living situation. And every time a Big Reveal happened that re-contextualized the episodes prior, he would react a little bit in the moment, but never too much. Like clockwork, this pattern kept repeating itself. He would continually focus outward on the immediate problem or person in front of him, and get deeply emotional for their issues instead of his own. He’d also get emotional for surface-issue things, like Cookie Cats and snakes.

I found that odd. And intriguing. At first I figured it was just a narrative device since he was the MC and my window into the world of SU, but it happened so often that I finally got suspicious. What was it going to take for this kid to really express himself? He was so good at getting others to open up, why couldn’t he do it, too? Yes, he had times and even a couple episodes where he’d tip his hand for a bit and show something deeper, but they were oh-so-fleeting.

As I started watching the remaining S2 and S3 episodes as they came out, this pattern kept up. The layers of the world and its characters slowly unwrapped, but Steven stubbornly kept to himself and was mostly content to point the audience away from him. (Not a bad thing, narratively, as the stuff with Peridot and the latter half of S3 were wild rides!) Back then, I felt pretty alone in giving a shit about him as a character when it seemed a lot of others didn’t, but, dammit, he was my favorite little mystery regardless and I just hoped his reticence was going somewhere, especially as the show’s stakes got higher and higher.

Sweet, sweet vindication came when Mindful Education aired. The second he started giving terrible advice to Connie, I knew we were finally due to for a good look into his brain. And then came the butterfly on the sword, and well, everything else. Yeah, he’d dropped enough breadcrumbs prior to Mindful Education implying he was proper fucked up about his identity, but this was a whole loaf of fresh French bread. It was now clear beyond any shadow of a doubt that Steven was bottling up the majority of his issues and probably had been from the start.

I mean, damn, the Pink Diamond reveal? Amethyst couldn’t drag more than a couple grumpy lines out of him over pizza, and like most things Rose related, was more about his feelings towards her than what that meant for him. When he flipped out at a hologram of his mom or cried for his dad, his family wasn’t present to hear his inner thoughts. Regardless, after CYM happened and he’d resolved his identity crisis, I was content enough that they’d acknowledged his constant deflection and almost tyrannical need to help others as character flaws and would have been fine with what we got as an ending. Still, there was a lot about Steven that had been left unsaid, and I was excited to see was S6 was gonna be about...

And then the movie and SUF came along, and I swear to God I don’t even know what to do with all this vindication. Rebecca Sugar may as well have beamed into my living room and screamed “LOOK HERE ARE 20 EPISODES OF CONTENT TAILOR-MADE JUST FOR YOU.” Finally, they’re really unwrapping the mystery of our main character. They’re tearing him apart right down to the core of tragic nougat at the center of his being.

So, anyway, here we are at the lowest point of Steven’s long story. He’s burned King’s Landing. He’s crossed the Rubicon. My son, my boy, has shut out everyone he loves and has an honest-to-goodness kill count, and it can’t be justified by saying he was backed into a corner or that he was fighting to protect someone. He didn’t mean to shatter Jasper, but it’s clear he meant to hurt her.

I was always adamant that he’d never shatter anyone, but now that he has, I get why.

Steven is all about that duality. He’s human and Gem, burdened with Special Magical Destiny yet supposedly free to choose his own human path. The closer he gets to discovering his future, the deeper he has to dig into the past. He’s a cute little critter who can quietly drool on himself while napping on a road trip and also an angry teenager frustrated over a life he never had. He’s trapped between reality and facade - all those healing Rose-style powers he worked so hard to get in the original series were a cover for something older, more ancient, more destructive. And, most pertinent to Fragments - he adores soft things like romance and weddings, yet also values tough things like strength and power.

And he’s having trouble walking the tightrope between all these contradictions. When it comes to power, for example, he loves gaining new powers in order to feel useful to his family, but, in fights where he isn’t pink, he’ll always stop just short of using them to their fullest and stay on the defensive as long as he can possibly get away with it. He’ll even apologize or warn his opponent if he tries to do something big. He’ll nearly always fall on the side of softness over power, but the power is still very much there, if unused. And even up to this last episode, he’d always stop just short of going full feral even when he was pink. Part of this is because Steven is a good kiddo at heart, but also afraid of what he can do to someone unchecked.

And now, here at a bad point in Steven’s life when he’s loaded up with PTSD and cut off from his usual support, Jasper (who is also...going through some things) gives him permission to indulge in the sort of thing he’s avoided since that day he summoned a shield with an ice cream bar. She tells him to not hide a part of himself, so for just this fucking once, he lets go. The ecstasy of battle overtakes him. He doesn’t tap into the soft, rounded Rose-style powerset for even a second. No bubbles, no shield, just that raw diamond geometry. And when he gets to the moment of the KO, there’s no stopping, no break to talk things out, no “yo watch out!” He even pins her down to make damn sure she can’t get away. It’s a surprising facet of Steven we have never seen, but it’s still absolutely him, just another one of those parts he squirrels away out of view. He didn’t need that “training” at all... it was always there.

When he told Jasper he’d been holding back, he meant it. He’s been holding back for years, in so many ways.