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dr-habit-b · 4 years ago

Text

In pursue of happiness

Stressed and tired.

Yeah, that was a good descriptor of Kamal on any given day. These last few specifically applied especially well, however. He’s not sure why exactly. He never is, but.. he can take a guess.

He rolled from his side to his back, staring up at the ceiling of his room as he hugged a mess of blankets against himself. He’d been awake for hours, but after doing his morning routine.. he just got right back in bed. He couldn’t bring himself to step out the door and face the work day.

Face his boss.

He groaned and smothered his face with his blankets, like it would help him stop thinking about it. But face it, Kamal, its all you’ve been thinking about. When he uncovers his face again he glances towards his window, sunlight slipping in from under his curtains. It had to be well past noon by now.

There was nothing he could do, he had decided hours ago. After extensive thinking, that was his only conclusion. And it frustrated the hell out of him. But honestly, realistically, it was true wasn’t it? He wasn’t stupid, he knew Habit had some... stuff going on, to say the least. Stuff he’d probably never be privy to, cause that’s not his business. So what changed? Why, all of a sudden, did this bother him so much?

...Maybe it was that someone else saw it too. That Habit wasn’t okay. Which confirmed to Kamal that his worries weren’t all just in his head, like they normally are. This was.. real. Very real.

Too real.

The idea that Habit was depressed wasn’t anything new to him. He understood, even though personally he found himself more Anxious than depressed, he’d been there before in his life. He could have helped, had it just been that.

But it... wasn’t, was it.

The idea that Habit went through some kind of trauma was very new to him. Not for any particular reason, it had just.. never crossed his mind. Personally, the biggest traumatic event he went through was falling down the stairs as a kid. That gave him a weird phobia of stairwells, but that was about it. Very cut and dry.

Habit, on the other hand... Kamal didn’t have a single, static idea. There was no way he could possibly guess whatever he must have gone through. Even with the little snippets he knew.. like how Habit was a dentist, and how he profusely refused to talk about it. How the mention of family makes him uncomfortable. A bad home life, maybe? But that could mean so many different things...

Even if he did find out, even if he did manage to get Habit to finally spill the truth... well, what then? What would he even do with information like that? Tell him ‘wow, that sucks, im so sorry.’? Was that it, was that really all Kamal could offer him? A few heartbroken words of apology, when he wasn’t even the one at fault?

No, that was shitty. That was so unbelievably shitty. If someone did that to him, he knows he wouldn't feel any better. So he shouldn't do that to Habit.

Augh, this is assuming Habit would even tell him about these things! He’s made it abundantly clear that there are just some things he Will Not talk about. Kamal respects that, because its not his business.

But, god. God it tears him up inside.

It would be one thing if he was just. Worried about his boss, about his friend. But it was just never one thing with him, was it! He tucked his face against his bundle of blankets in his arms, letting out a weary sigh as he felt his face flush.

This was ridiculous, and, and totally unprofessional, and just!...

Hrrmm... Not fair.

Coming to terms with these feelings had been a Process, one that Kamal still wasn't even through with. But no matter how many circles he ran himself in, no matter how he tried to rationalize or explain away the tight, warm feeling in his chest, he came back to the same answer.

He cared about Habit. More than a boss, more than a friend. Admitting it was hard, considering their professional relationship as boss and assistant. It felt... wrong, somehow. Who falls for their boss?

Suppose Kamal does. And truthfully, was it even.. that weird? After all, Habit and Kamal never really acted like boss and assistant. Those were terms they used, sure, but... first and foremost, it felt like they were friends above all else.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy.

Why it was so easy for them to get along in a way boss and assistant probably wouldn’t otherwise. Playful banter and comments were normal and expected. Habit was a very touchy-feely sort of guy so hugs, head pats, and general comforting touches became normal and expected. Kamal remembered when he thought it was weird, but he got used to it. He liked it, it made him feel... warm, and like he was home.

Lately, that warm, home-y feeling had become so much that it hurt. And oh, god, did that scare him something fierce. Because what.. what was he supposed to do? Even if he did risk trying to see if Habit felt the same way, he.. there was still so much he didn’t know. So much he knows he wouldn’t have the skills to deal with. Sure the possibility of rejection was scary enough as is, but. The thought of trying anyways, and screwing up, or.. hurting him? That was a thousand times more terrifying.

He cared about Habit. The big lug was just an awkward, well meaning teddy bear. He just wanted to make people happy, probably cause.. he wasn’t a very happy guy growing up. He had a big heart and even bigger imagination. He was so friendly and did his best to get along with everyone he came in contact with. It was charming when he gave folks Russian pet names, or how he slipped back into it when talking to himself. And, maybe most importantly, he was really respectful. Kamal’s not sure he’s ever been somewhere or met someone that respected people’s pronouns and comfort so much before.

He finds himself groaning into his blankets again, finding his face even hotter than it was before. That was all well and good, sure. He’ll admit it, he likes Habit! But...

That persistent, nagging anxiety is still there, at the forefront of his mind. The thought that he’ll hurt Habit if he tries to act on his feelings. The thought that he cant do anything to help him in a worthwhile way. Its quick to drain away all that warmth, and leave him feeling cold and tired.

Some assistant he was. Whatever. He was gonna sulk in bed all day. He’d apologize to Habit t-

Knock knock.

Kamal’s thoughts screeched to a halt and his heart jumped up into his throat as the silence of his room was broken. He was so startled and frazzled that he didn’t register the sound of his name, but when he heard the click of his door open he bolted upright just in time to see Habit poke his head in curiously.

Their eyes met and Kamal could see Habit visibly relax.

“Kamal! Oh, goode I was worryed.. You did not an-swer me when I knocked....” He gives the other a sheepish grin opening the door the rest of the way and stepping in. He taps his fingers together a little bit, and worry creeps into his expression again.

“Are... yew o-key? You hav’nt beene to the office.. ah, it is o.k if you’re are not feeling well!! Dide you get sick?” He’s quick to make sure Kamal knows he doesn't have to come up if he’s not feeling well. “Have u eat-en? Eye cam go get soup!”

Kamal’s chest gets all tight, and its almost enough to make him cry. Stop it, stop, stop. He shakes his head and turns away from Habit, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I-... Im.. ok, just... Not really in the mood t’get up, y’know?...” That was... honest enough, he thinks. After a moment of quiet he glances back over at Habit, only to flinch seeing him right next to his bed. Oh Jesus big guy, how were you so quiet?

Habit sighs, before giving Kamal a bright smile.

“Non-sence!! Yew will note feel bettr juste staying in bed! Come, come, I wiil help you.” Before Kamal can protest Habit scoops him up into his arms much like how he did that time Kamal was panicking. He looks pretty proud of himself, even as Kamal sputters in embarrassment.

He would have set Kamal down, had he asked or protested! He would! But he didn’t seem uncomfortable, at least, just embarrassed. That’s okay, the elevator ride up to the office is very short, and Habit is quick to set Kamal down once those doors open into the office. He’ll give him another smile and a pat on the head before stepping inside and going over to their little coffee station. Kamal has presumably been in bed all day, sleeping a lot.. he must be tired! Coffee will help. Coffee always helps.

For a second Kamal could only stand there, his face flush and his chest and throat so tight he felt it was a miracle he could even breathe. He finally stepped out just before the elevator doors started to close on their own, and he made his way to the office computer. The sunlight coming in from the window-wall stung enough as is, but the light of the big, clunky computer was... almost worse. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and decided to poke his head online a bit, see what was happening.

It was becoming very apparent that spending all day in his dark room, barely moving, and then suddenly being carried out into direct sunlight and made to move was gonna give him a killer headache. By the time Habit finished getting Kamal’s coffee already, he was holding his head in his hands and rubbing his temples.

Habit frowned to himself as he set the mug nearby, tapping his heels against the ground. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten Kamal up... it was a little rude, but he knows how laying around all day feels. Good in the moment! Very not good afterwards. He thought..

Before he could even think about saying sorry, Kamal is already waving him off with one of his hands. He could feel his boss just, staring at him with worry. Didn’t even have to look.

“Im- Im fine, okay. Just... got a headache. Don’t. Worry about it.” He drags a hand down his face with a sigh, picking up his mug and taking a sip of his coffee.

...His tone was too harsh just then, but it was too late to take it back now. He avoids looking at Habit, and after a second of silence he hears a small ‘ok’ before listening to those heels move away from him. His heart sinks, and now he just feels worse. Great, good job Kamal.

The rest of their time spent in the office is... quiet and awkward. Kamal spends a bit of time online chatting a bit, finishing his coffee, but ultimately.

He doesn’t feel any better.

When his headache starts getting too much for him to deal with he finally gets up and leaves. He gives Habit a wave and a short ‘going to bed’, but that’s it. He still doesn’t make eye contact or anything. Just... feels too awkward right now. Try again tomorrow, maybe.. after some sleep he’ll stop being so stirred up inside.

----------

Sleep didn’t help.

Kamal could hardly get himself to fall asleep after he left, and even when he did finally doze off, he kept waking up on and off all throughout the night. Reminded him a lot of his stressed out, tiring college days. You know, like... half a year ago now.

God he’d been working for Habit for about half a year now. It felt like forever...

When the sun finally started to rise, Kamal was already up and about. There was no point in making himself feel even worse trying on and off to get himself to sleep like he had been. He was in bed almost all day yesterday... he had to make it up to Habit.

An extensive morning routine later, he got himself dressed in clean clothes and made his way out of his room. He stopped, briefly, to look at the door to Habit’s room. He contemplated, for a second, knocking and seeing if he was up and about too. Habit was an early riser too... but, no. They could just talk when they met in the office.

The ride up the elevator was quiet and awkward. Stepping into the office was even more quiet and awkward. It didn’t seem like Habit was up yet, which... surprised him, but. It was early, maybe even earlier for him. Maybe.. he was getting some good rest, for once. Hopefully that was the case!

...Who was he kidding. After yesterday, after being so?... Worrying. Even he worried himself. He shouldn’t be letting his mess of feelings affect how he treats Habit. Or, anyone for that matter..

Its a while of just working in silence. He logged into the computer, checked some emails, checked some bills afterwards... not much going on today. Might be a nice, quiet day to just... relax! Relax. That sounds like a good day.

Once he gets some of his daily checkups finished he goes and starts making coffee. He’ll get one for Habit ready too, full of creamer and sugar, he’d appreciate it. Once he finishes he takes his coffee back over to the computer, taking a seat with a sigh. He sips idly as he decides to check on the blog this morning... and almost spits out his drink onto the screen. Wait, wait, what? It looked like there was a new post on blog... he looks around the room for a second, taking in the silence before looking back on the screen. When did Habit?.. Well, he was a very.. sneaky kind of guy, but. Geez, not even a hello?... Or was he just that spaced out making coffee? He couldn’t be 100% sure. Both options were... plausible.

Kamal decides to pull his knees up against his chest, sipping from his coffee idly as he just stared at the computer screen and waited. He kept glancing around the room, as if to see if Habit was sneaking up on him or not. He hadn’t even heard the elevator... or did he? He couldn’t even remember anymore, he was so focused on listening to the brewing coffee.

He groans as he thumps his head against his knees, silently cursing himself for being so... Like This. Useless, stupid assistant... get a grip already. You can do this.

Getting up and walking around a little sounds like a good idea, so thats what Kamal does for the next few hours on his own. Walks around, does some stretches, nothing special. Every now and then he’ll step out onto that little balcony, peering down into the carnival area and looking to the terrace. Hoping he’d see Habit, and maybe get the chance to wave at him, but. No such luck. Maybe he was hanging out with Jimothan or those artists... someone inside, probably. Hopefully.

Against his better judgement, he finds himself spacing out a little, just looking out into the sky. This place really was nice, up in the mountains... they always wondered what exactly this building was used for before Habit came along and bought it, but they never figured anything out. Maybe it was an abandoned passion project, or some sort of strange hotel. They’d never know. Guess it didn’t really matter-

Something suddenly brushes up against his back and his breath catches in his throat as he turns quickly, finding himself staring up at his boss. A smile twitches at the corners of his mouth and he hangs his head for a second as he lets out an over-exaggerated sigh, looking back up at Habit with a grin.

“M-man, big guy, can... can we like. Tie some bells to your sleeves, or something? Y.. you’re way too quiet.”

Habit looked worried for a second, afraid he made a mistake, but when his friend smiles up at him... he relaxes a bit, giving him a little smile back.

“Ah, but yew were note an-swering me.... Are... You feel-img bettr than yes-terday?”

Kamal visibly cringes and he sighs again, dragging his hands down his face for a second. So, he probably did space out earlier, too. God that must’ve been so weird, what was wrong with him?

Wait, no, don’t answer that. He shakes his head, dismissively waving his hands.

“I- no, no I mean yeah I’m. Better. Look, I uh...” He looks back up at Habit, making an effort this time to actually look at him as he speaks this time. His hands go behind him, holding onto the railing of the balcony.

“I’m... real sorry, ‘bout yesterday. I was... Had. Still have. A lot on my mind, and I was all stressed out, but I shouldn’t have... taken that out on you, even if it was only a little bit. So I’m... I’m real sorry, d-... Habit.” He tried his best to keep eye contact, but as he spoke his gaze drifted, till he stopped looking at his boss all together. He just couldn’t help feeling like he had to run away, to hide, to curl up into a tiny little ball and just disappear.

Habit just watched and listened carefully, intently, smiling gently at Kamal even as he started avoiding eye contact. When he finished he reached down and pat his head, only to run his hand down the side of his face and under his chin, coaxing him to look back up at him.

“It iz okay, Kamal. You should’nt worry so much for me. I... should note have gotten you up so sudden-ly. It should be me say-ing sorrey to you.” He smiles a little bigger, and is thankful when Kamal doesn’t protest. He doesn’t move his hand for a little while, till he starts getting embarrassed himself and decides its gone on too long.

He ushers them back inside more boisterously, hoping to clear the awkward air he feels he just created. He’s not dumb, he saw how red Kamal’s face got.

They head back over to the desk, Habit lets Kamal have the chair again while he leans against the desk. He’s tall enough to sit on it pretty easy, but he wont, that’s rude. He sips his cold coffee and they talk about mundane things for a bit.

Bills, emails, whats going on online, how check in went... normal stuff. Everything was normal!

“Do... yew want to. Talk a-bout?... Whate has been botherimg you?...” He gazes down into his last bit of coffee when he asks that question, tapping sharp fingers against the mug, making a peasant little sound. He can see Kamal stiffen up from the corner of his eye.

“It is o-key if you do’nt wante two. I under-stande.” He finishes the last of his coffee, but keeps the mug in his hands, continuing to make that pleasant little clinking noise with his tapping. He glances over to Kamal, who has his knees up against his chest. He really liked to sit like that... Habit never found it very comfortable, honestly.

He perks up curiously seeing Kamal take a big breath, his gaze softening as he realizes he’s trying to calm himself down. He starts to say something, but pauses when his assistant looks at him again.

His expression was... determined! But nervous, and anxious, and a little bit flushed. Habit just barely suppressed a snicker. Not that he would have laughed at Kamal, but... it was very cute. The determination drains from his face as he finally starts to speak, though.

“I just... don’t know if I. Should, y’know? I just, I mean.....” He waivers for a second before bumping his head against his knees with a frustrated groan.

“I. Care about you, Habit. A lot.” Okay, that part was out. Just.. gotta keep going, keep the momentum.

“But its... it’s hard! Not- I mean- not the.. the caring party, I-I more mean the...” No, no, stop. Pause. Take a breath. Try again.

“It’s just that... you’re. You’re my boss... that’s like. A whole thing on it’s own, but at the same time...” His chest tightens, and his expression saddens. Even just thinking about it, about...

“I don’t... really know you. At all. I mean, I know you’re a good guy, obviously. You.. have a big heart, and even bigger imagination. You really... care about other people, and what they want, and what they need. You’ve got such a.. positive energy around you that I just. Wish I had, or, wish I could... be apart of, maybe.” His face flushes a little more, but the words are coming easier now.

Now came the harder thoughts.

“But you never... talk about yourself. And I know that its.. hard, I do. You... you gotta gimmie something to work with though. Like, I.. up until a little while ago, I didn’t even know Habit wasn’t your first name? All I know is, is the tiny bits and pieces that I’ve had to gather and put together myself! And that’s!....” He lifts his head and looks up at Habit again. This time, the taller man avoids eye contact.

“That’s not fair. I- we, promised. That we would talk to each other! I just- I don’t even wanna know everything I just...” He starts to lose steam a little bit, and his momentum is grinding to a halt. He just feels tired now.

“I don’t wanna be in the dark about everything about you... I don’t, don’t wanna have to sit here and.. and assume, and worry, and just not know. All I know, for sure, is that... you had a bad childhood, and you still get nightmares about it. That.. could mean a million different things, a million different ways to know how to... to handle it, I just. I cant just... try and guess.” His voice progressively starts to sound more.. on the verge of panic, maybe? He can feel it in the way he talks, but he’s just so. Tired. He wants to help, he wants to know.

Maybe that was selfish of him.

For a moment that dragged on for an eternity, the two of them simply existed in complete silence. Hugging his knees to his chest was all Kamal could do to keep himself from bolting out of this chair and running away. Or throwing up. Either or. He could feel the anxiety spread from his chest to the rest of his body.

Habit didn’t feel much better. He stared at his mug so intently, you’d think he was trying to shatter it with gaze alone. Just in the tone of his voice, he could tell how deeply Kamal cared. And how much this meant to him, right here, right now.

It was like daggers in his heart. He’d never felt this from someone else before. It was always him giving out this sort of feeling to people. It was like being so deprived of food and finally getting a good meal, after years and years of nothing but scraps, that you couldn’t even scarf down or enjoy without making yourself sick.

Suppose he should have expected this. Lately, his nightmares had been worse. He desperately had been trying to put the past out of his mind, but... recently, it was like everything brought it back to the forefront of his brain. Like an annoying pop-up ad that wouldn’t let you hit the X to close it. It was bleeding out into how he acted, how he reacted, his mannerisms, the little things that made him jump.

Kamal was so smart, of course he noticed. How could he not? It was a miracle none of the other Habititans were as nosey.

After what felt like an eternity, Habit let out a long breath he had been holding. He turned to look at Kamal, his eyes tired and sad. Their gazes met, and this time, neither of them looked away.

“You... really wante to know? You want to knowe thise... part of me, ev-en if it changes how you feel?”

Kamal blinked, Habit’s last comment giving him pause. Changed how he?.. What was he about to tell him, exactly? It could just be an exaggeration, to make him back off, but...

After thinking about it for a second Kamal moved his legs so that his feet were on the ground again, looking up at his boss with a serious expression on his face.

Habit stared at him for a long while before giving him a weary smile, sighing heavily. He mumbled a quiet ‘ok’ before deciding to take a seat on the floor, cross legged with that mug still in his hands. He kept it to occasionally tap on as he thought over his words, where to start, how to say certain things...

He was quiet for a long time as he deliberated, but Kamal was patient, and waited quietly. He even slid down from the office chair to sit on the floor with his boss, which got him to chuckle just a little bit. It seemed to relax both of them, being on equal ground.

After a while, Habit finally spoke.

“Mine family was.... not. The best.” He started, and immediately his expression contorted into an expression Kamal had never seen on Habit before.

Hatred.

Habit tried so, so hard. For almost all of his life, to not let hatred become a normal feeling in his heart.

There had to be times when it slipped in, however. It couldn’t be helped.

“Mom was... verrey over-bearing. She al-ways wanted me to be juste like her. Her... малышка.” He grimaces at that word, not that Kamal understood. “Even whene I told her, thate I was.. umcomfortable, or did’nt want to do something... she did not listen. Ever. How do you say, ah, thate phrase... ‘Mother knowes best’? Yes, that was her. And if I did note list-en...” He shut his eyes for a second, letting out a sigh through his nose before he opened them again. “She... waz not the worste, at least. But, she woulmd pull on mine hair, un-til I cried and cried for her to stop. I am verriy sensative to it even now.. A smal tug will hurt like yew are ripping hair out.” He looks over at Kamal a bit and offers him a reassuring smile. No, he’s not upset you pulled his hair that one time. You didn’t know.

He looks back to his coffee mug, idly rotating it in his hands. When he thinks about what he’s going to say next, he cant help but let out a very short, bitter bark of a laugh.

“My... dad, on thee oth-er hande. Much, muche worse. Two bothe of us, me ande mom.” He stops for a second, taking a deep breath. Trying to settle his anger for a moment, before it bubbled over. “He... only re-spected himselfe. No-one else. God could have come downe in front of him, ande he would note care. He was.... was...” He scratches at the mug in his hands, biting his bottom lip a little bit. Even now, even now.... He shakes his head, resigning that thought for the time being.

“Mom and dad were bothe doc-tors. They were fighting all the time.... Yelling. Screaming. Ne-ver smiling. It... made me so sad.” Even thinking about it now, after everything. It still made him sad. “Once, when I waz... ten. On-ly ten. I had raized a verre special flower.... I wamted to show them. To make them Happy.... I loved flowers verri much, back then... but...”

He sucked in a sharp breath, raising a hand to cover his mouth for a second. He flinched slightly feeling a touch on his arm, only to look and see Kamal staring up at him worriedly. He managed to smile from behind his hand, letting out a shaky breath. He laid a hand over top Kamal’s and left it there, while his gaze drifted upwards.

“Mine dad... he... saw me giving kissies to my flower. I wamted to make him happy, my lily.... but... it did note make dad happy. I stille do not know why, but he got so. Mad. Fury-ous. He... hurt my lily. Thene, he hurt me.” He finds himself lightly tracing over the scars where it happened. He remembered it vividly, and it made him shudder uncomfortably. He wouldn’t go into detail.

“Hhe.. broke mine smile. I was... bro’kn. And my lily was hurt. Oh, I could heer him cryimg.... it was aw-ful. At first, I felt more sad for my lily... but..." He lets out a short, bitter laugh. "Like I saide, I waz... bullied, harsh-le, by mine peers, for my bro'kn smile."

He glances down at Kamal, who hadnt looked away from him this whole time. He could see the worry and pain on his face clear as day... it hurt his heart. He didnt want people to worry about him.

But... Kamal wanted to know. He looks back down at the mug in his hand, his other squeezing Kamal's underneath it.

"They wamted me two be a doc-tor too... they forced me. Eye had no say. I waz made to have per-fect grades, I had tutors, and ex-tra lessons frome a verre early age... hahh, it worked! I waz al-wayes the top of my class.... By the time I waz al-most graduated, I made a de-cision... if I had to be a doctor, eye would be one who helped thoze with bro'kn smiles. Like mine. I be-came a dentist. I... left my home, ande came here. It waz what mine parents wanted, but... I waz happy to leave. To be a-way from them." He sucks in a sharp breath, letting out a long breath. "I hav'nt seen theme since. It haz been... years and years."

He looks wsary as he thinks about the next portion of his life. It... was easier, but.

"Coll-ege, was.... fine. People were so.. un-happy, thou. Just like mom n' dad. No smiles. So muche.. complaining, amd fighting, and sadness. I could'nt bee happy either. I juts wamted to finish and go worke. I... I waz able to finally be me, thou. Thate... thate was nice." He perks up a bit feeling Kamal squeeze at him, and when their eyes meet, he can read his confusion easily. He smiles sheepishly, before turning his head away.

"I waz... raised as a. A girl, yew know. Long long time ago now... But whene I got here, a-way from... everyone eye ever knew, I de-cided to change. It.. it was verrey hard, amd. I still got... got bullied, a lot, but. I chamged my name! And cut my haire... and no, I did'nt like it, haha." He smiles almost.. fondly at the memories, before he starts frowning again. "I stille get... nervouse, going by mine new name. As if... my parents will. Will show up, amd yelle at me, and tell me I ca'nt. Thate it iz not normal, that I ame just..."

He shuts his eyes and grimaces, trying to push the bad thoughts out of his head. No, its okay, you're. Okay. When he opens his eyes again he looks down at Kamal, giving him a small smile.

"The name I chose for mine self, waz.. is, Boris. I do note know, but.. some-thimg about it felt.. right. May-b it was cause it sounded manley, haha! I.. liked it, thou." He casts his eyes downwards, humming a bit. "I coulde never change my laste name... I wamted to, to... tru-ly escapt my parents, but... ah, weel. Mine uncle was a verre good man. Kimd, but stern, and always nice to me... I su-pose I kept it to staye close to him, in a way. Thou, eye doubt I will... ever see him againe."

He takes a deep breath, slowly exhaling through his nose. He doesnt look at Kamal when he speaks up again.

"I knowe it does'nt seem like it, but... there iz a deep, deep hatred for mine parents in my heart. I woulde not be sad for they're deaths. They were..." His voice catches a little bit, but he pushes through it. "...evil. Thate is what I thimk. I coulde tell you so, so much that they did, but... it would be two much. Fore you, and me. I think... yew get the pic-ture though, hah..."

He feels two hands squeezing his arm now and he looks back to Kamal wearily, blinking at his determined expression.

"Do you really think that- that me knowing... any of that, would. Would seriously change how I see you?" His voice cracks a tiny bit, full of emotion threatening to spill over. Habit's- no, Boris' surprised expression doesnt change this. "I still care about you, I care about you so much. I want... to be here for you, to, t-to help you, and, and I..."

Kamal shakes his head and rubs his eyes for a second, fighting off tears threatening to spill over. Be strong, be strong. When he looks back up at Boris, his eyes are still teary, but his expression is still full of resolve.

"I w.. wanna see you happy, Boris. I wanna see you smile for real. Please..."

Ohh... now its time for him to get all teary eyed. Emotions well up in his chest and throat, dangerously close to turning him into a blubbering mess. He hadn't known what to expect, he had never... told anyone these things, before, but he had been expecting the worst. For Kamal to.. get scared, or.. upset, or even grossed out maybe, but no.

Kamal was always so kind and sincere to him. They hadn't even known each other for very long. It was so... he didnt even know how to explain.

"Yy.. y-you're are sh.. shore, Kamal?" His voice breaks, and his tears finally spill over. He has to confirm, he needs to be certain.

When Kamal nods, thats all he needs. He grabs Kamal and pulls him into a big hug, trying to hold back his sobs and failing. He wasn't so sure why exactly he was crying so hard. Talking about everything was draining, yes, but. It didnt make him cry. Maybe he was just... happy? Did people cry from happiness? He's not sure he ever has.

He's so used to crying when it feels like his heart is being torn apart. Right now, it feels more like... his heart is full to bursting, and it almost seems to make it worse? He doesnt know how to handle it, so he just.

Clings to Kamal, crying against him while the other rubs his back and pets his hair, faintly hearing him say that it was okay.

Things were okay.

----------

The rest of the day slowed to a crawl. The two of them left the office to Boris' room. No words were exchanged, they didnt need to be, right now. The two of them.. simply existed with each other, in quiet content, until the day grew long and sleep took in the both of them.

Morning was no different than normal, except they woke with each other. They exchanged embarrassed, sleepy smiles, giggling like kids who just got away with something.

They separated to do their respective morning routines, reuniting in the elevator. They still said nothing to each other, but continued to exchange little smiles, only to giggle like they were playing some sort of game.

Things slowly returned to normal as they returned to work, but it was more... relaxed. Normally Habit was the touchy-feely one, but Kamal found himself playing with his boss' hair, leaning against him, touching his arm... occasionally their hands would touch, but. They'd start laughing, and never actually held hands.

Boris was sure he'd never felt this good in his whole life. He really was... happy, for once.

#the smiler (ooc)#smile for me #smile for me game #dr. habit #kamal bora #the smiler's stories (mun writing)#long post #(drabble done! mostly i think lol)#(i may come back and edit when i have... actual wifi)#(instead of my phone's hotspot)#(and a desk to work from)#(but!!!! but but but)#(IM... happy with this i think)#(i feel like my interpretation as to how the habitat was before flower kid came along is verryy different than what most peopel thing hsdfh)#(REGARDLESS)#(i hope some of y'all can enjoy the read u wu feel free to lmk what you think!!!)#(i worry about how i write Kamal sometimes so hdsfhf)#(also idk if i rly like the title but whatever)#(flaps my hands)

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pokemonfankristal · 4 years ago

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Man I'm going to try😂 since i can't sleeeep okey, Lets seeeee you only writte something, and since you people don't writte enough livecatershipping, by the way i don't writte english to well i speak spanish sorry por that...

Curtis pov

He was so tired, tired of everything in deed Curtis has been wanting to sleep a Litle More than usual, since he doesn't rest His head in the pillow for More than five hours, His visión it's starting to bluuurr, the only thing that Is keeping him up Is the fact that yancy brought sweets in the morning and she gave him some, it's nothing new tough she loves everything that contains sugar, so if some other Random group of fangirls comes screaming at him again, aggghh he's going to lose His Senses.

-Yancy do you mind saying Mr.(insert the name of His boss hear) that I'm going to take a quik brake before we start recording, if anything happens I'm going to have my xtransvisior with me.

-dont worry, plus it's about you have a break dude i don't remember the last Time you saw the sunlight

-pretty funny

So he tries to change His Fancy clothes as fast as he could do, and goes out with His ""normal clothes"" and geez that it feels nice to feel the wind touch His face again, well sure he has been out a lot of times the last Days, interviews, shows, concerts, but not this way the people dosen't even turn around to say good afternoon, wile in other situasions they would went Wild, and it's nice to have personal space.

And sudenly he looks from the corner of His eye the group of girls, the same faces that almost tried to strip him over a few hours ago, he Is litterly containg himself to burst out a laugh at how they don't even notice him Wen he's not looking like a pop Star.

Sudenly he bumps into someone because he was distracted looking at the beutiful View, the sun it's setting and the Ferris wheel of nimbasa looks so dazling, the sky it's in a pretty Shade of red, pink and orange.

-I'M SO SORRY SIR, she said pickin up all her things,-don't be, it Is my fault i was to distracted with the View. he said begindown to help her and get a better look at her because she was wearing a cap the only thing he saw was her Brown hair.

-you have a lot of badges miss, you are doing the gym Challenge am i right

-well yes, i'm going to Challenge Elesa tomorrow, i want to be the champion of the region.

-That sounds amazing, May i now your name.

-Thank you, my name i... Ring Ring, -Hello, yes Huge i am trainin by the way how are you. WHAT?ARE YOU SURE THEY ARE THERE THIS TIME. Okey.yes i am no my way there

-Sorry it's important, ihavetogoseeyoulater, she said alredy waving and running.

-O don't worry i understand i have to go back to my work anyways. He said a lil bit disapointed that she dident even gave him her name.

He changed again and gave himself another slap in the face to keep him up.

Rosa's pov

-And here we are Kamil, running again because he sais that team plasma it's taking over the World. Rosa said with a forced laugh to her beloved servine in her arms. Kamil gave her a weird look like he was triying to say, -here we go again, that Huge never stops bothering you with The same teamplasma thing, he never even ask you how are you.- Don't look at me like that Kamil Huge Is our friend, and maybe this Time well help him to get purrlion back. Servine did a weird cry protesting, Rosa huged Kamil thigher and gave him a gentle kiss in the top of His head-Don't be mad darling plus tomorrow we are going to Challenge Elesa so this Is going to be like a trainin, right?. Servine smiled this time.

Huge: hey Rosa come hear!!, He said waving her.

-well what Is so important this Time dude,did you faund there hideot?

-well yes, and no, i saw some of them get into that building, and followed them, but i can't find those criminales anywere, so i am counting no you right? You are going to help me find them.

........

-What?

-look my team and i are really tired, we NEED to rest we haven't eat a thing since the morning i came from nimbassa to the desert, LITERLLY runnin, because you we're screaming that team plasma was here and you are not SURE we're are they?

-You haven't eat??

-Huge we are going to help you but firts I'm going to gave my friends some kind of food,.. Lets seee. There has to be something here, i Packed berries and water erlier, What Is this?. She looked at the xtransvisior in her hands, this Is not mine.

-You stoleet???

-What? Now! No way this has to be a mistake RING RING, squeek, what should i do Huge?

- I diden't stoleet, you did, he said in a Chuckle.

-SHOULD I PICK UP!??

-i don't know, what if Is some kind of team plasma Grunt.

RING RING RING

-YOU are not helping.

-well them PICK UP!

-ok, mmm Hello?

-Hello, may i ask you why do you have my xtransvisior?

-I don't know sir, (from the voice she could Tell that it was a he), BUTISWERIDIDNOTSTOLET!

-Look i'ven here before, if you want it that badly you can keep it; but taking things from other people it's not nice.

-I said I DID NOT STOLET. I am not a thief, i foud this in my bag, i swer, and i don't want to keep it i have my own. If i did STOLET i woudent PICK The call understand?, If you want it i can GIVE it to you.

-okey, you sound sincere, so even if you don't want to keep it, i can't take ir back right now, I'm really Busy, by the way my name Is Chri...

I mean CURTIS!, My name Is CURTIS.

- My name Is Rosa, you SURE you can't take ir back right now?

-Sorry

.....

-Okey then, I'm Busy to so you can call to your xtransvisior Wen you have Time Curtis but i can't talk right now.

-sounds good, well godbye Rosa

Bep bep

Huge was staring at her.

-What??

-I don't like that Curtis guy, what if he Is dangerous?

-You are the one that Told me: then PICK UP !

-I diden't expect that you we're actually going to do it.

- watever, here i found the berries, one for Kamil, one for Leafy(swadlon),one for Orión(bravieri) and one for Lara(audino), Also thank Arceus that is one for me, I'm starbin.

After that, we are going to drink water, and then we are going to help Huge to find purrlion okey steweties? , Any of them said a thing.

-You are to Busy eatin hu?

Okey i think it's not the greatest thing but, maybe someone Will read it... Maybe.....Someday, by the way this Is my firts fic Soo sorry for the grammar and maybe it's to short

#livecastershipping #trainer rosa #Curtis #im trying #pokemon #fanfic

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libidomechanica · 4 years ago

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Untitled Composition # 8651

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#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 4 #180 texts

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blackrose-ffxiv · 6 years ago

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Book of Shadows 07/24

Lebeaux Desrosiers gestured for the others to follow him further along, passing over the office and the clinic to settle himself on his usual perch. He patted the cloth-and-rosary-wrapped book that was already waiting on the ledge.

“Um...if...if I m-may ask, what is the nature of the beaded cord you use t-to bind the book? Is it enchanted? Rinha'li Dhavha: It looks like...“ Rinha’li Dhavha trailed off, looking for a specific word.

"You may. It's a Halonic Rosary. It's blessed, which I suppose is rather like enchanting it. It seemed a solid precaution." Lebeaux explained as he began unwrapping said protection.

“Oh, yes, um -- Rosary. That was the term.” Rinha'li leans forward, obviously wanting to touch the book but thinking better of it. For now.

Geofferaut Derosiers followed Lebeaux, but came up short, eyes darting. There seemed to be some confusion about which location was best to stand, better view of the book or better view of the various exits.

Lebeaux didn’t seem particularly concerned about Geoff’s minor conflict of interests. He tucked the rosary into his pocket then slid the cloth-wrapped item towards Rinha’li. He instead picked up a cup and saucer, busying himself with tea without offering it to the others. Assuming Geoff wasn’t thirsty and Rin had other concerns.

Geofferaut's twitchy fingers found rest against the cover of his own book and settled on the appropriate vantage point.

Rinha'li unwraps the cloth delicately, and as fast as he can without risking damage to a potentially delicate object.

Geofferaut watched the book emerge like a lioness watches a gazelle limp to a watering hole.

The grimoire is old, but not ancient. Perhaps 10-15 years, mistreated for many of them. The leather is weathered and cracked, but not nearly as much so as an item that spent the last year or so at the bottom of a mud puddle should be. It seemed the muck hadn’t touched it at all. The lock latch no longer works. Standard issue for those in service to the Tribunal though someone had taken care to sand or dissolve away those distinguishing embellishments and embossing. There is definitely something -off- about it. The moment the enchanted cloth is unwrapped there’s a brief rippling. Or possibly a bit of dust floating across the eye, hard to tell as it was gone in a blink either way.

Rinha'li carefully opens it up to the first page to see what it contains -- if the previous owner had perhaps left an index, or introduction -- wincing slightly as the leather creaks in his grasp. But, books are sturdier things than many realize, and nothing breaks. "You s-say this was...lying at the bottom of a brackish pond or puddle?" he asks.

There is indeed an index of the standard issue geometries that came with the grimoire. Filling in the first quarter of the book with the same sort of spells one would find in any acanists’ text. The next quarter is home-made theories and accompanying geometries scattered with notes and observations in no discernable order.

“That’s being generous as to the water content, to call it a puddle or pond. It was mud. A sinkhole, essentially.” Lebeaux glanced over, noting that Geoff had been staring at the tome for longer than he usually stared at anything. “Feel free to have a look as well, I’m sure Rin won’t mind. While you two are doing that, did you bring the contracts I told you to draw up?”

"No." Geofferaut addressed the book.

"Did you draw them up at all?"

"Yes." Geofferaut continued to address the book.

"... Lot of good they're doing sitting in your basement."

“O-oh, I mean, I have a copy of...of a standard client confidentiality agreement on hand at all times... “ Rinha'li offered, obviously distracted wtih the book. He scans the arcanima glyphs for interesting variants, but eagerly ends up flipping to the more experimental sections. Here, he traces his finger over some of the ink, feeling where the quill has dented the paper, leaning closer to see if he can discern the composition of the pigments.

Geofferaut only breathed because it's an involuntary function of his body. Blinking seemed to have stopped.

“I asked him to draw up a non-disclosure agreement regarding our research. Essentially that no information will be shared with outside parties without the consent of all three of us.” Lebeaux noted. “Technically it should be my decision as I am the one who is organizing this project.” He took a moment to preen the cuffs of his sleeves and let that sink in. “Yet I thought it polite to share the credit since the two of you are doing most of the heavy lifting.”

The spells start in your standard inks, mixtures of heavy metals and a liquid but as they progress they begin to rely solely on blood mixtures from varying sources. Sometimes the same glyph written in several different variations. There was a heavy emphasis on the slow draining of health or vitality from the target in various forms. Restoratives or protective magicks abandoned within the last few chapters. The end of the book was upside down. The original owner had reversed the book to begin taking notes from back to front. It was a lot of nonsense to Lebeaux, punctuated with sketches of towers and walls and terrible attempts at poetry.

Rinha'li's hand rests on the sketches of a long, tall tower with haphazardly placed windows and thin catwalks issuing from it. The artist -- Lebeaux's mentor, presumably -- has attempted to indicate its immense height by surrounding it with dark charcoal scribblings, punctuated by a few hazy cloud shapes. No moon, no stars, and certainly no sun. "...did your mentor, um...c-complain of trouble sleeping? S...strange dreams?" he asks cautiously, not knowing what question will offend.

Lebeaux sniffed and took a sip of his tea. “We weren’t particularly close, you may just call him Ciceroix as I don’t suspect I learned enough from him to actually call him a mentor.” It was just easier than calling him the overzealous inquisitor he used to clean up after. “He seemed distracted, towards the end of our association. Possibly signs of exhaustion, could have been due to trouble sleeping.” Certainly not due to a guilty conscience.

“I know this tower.” Rinha'li says simply. “Have you ever seen it, Mister Lebeaux? Mister Geofferaut?”

"No." Geofferaut replied.

Lebeaux lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I haven’t entered the City. I was outside of the gates but I didn’t go in, nor did I notice any towers. Assuming that it is, actually, Amdapori?”

Rinha'li nods. "W-well...it's...it's quite...it's in the center of the city. It...c-cannot be seen from the outside, even though it's so tall it nearly reaches the sky...I...I d-don't know why, exactly. The white tower. The Sanctum of Dreams."

Lebeaux wrinkled his nose slightly. He reached over, gloved fingers flipping through some of the earlier portions of the grimoire, before the Inquisitor had the clever idea of hiding the crazy in the last pages. Around the same time the arcanima started to get extremely experimental and were mostly marked as failures, there were images embedded in the geometries mirroring the general shapes of the tower. “Sanctum of Dreams. What a pretentious name.” He sniffed. “So you believe he began to dream of this place and that is what finally pushed him over the edge?”

Geofferaut leaned forward when the experimental arcanima began to feature once more.

Rinha'li turns the next page very slowly, to reveal several lines of metrically complex but imaginatively bankrupt attempts at religious poetry framing rough drawings of a series of doors, each marked with an arcanima glyph. Rinha'li closes his eyes, worrying his bottom lip with his fangs at this sight. "I am near convinced," he says. Rinha'li has taken on a hushed, excited tone. He's happy to see this mad scrawling.

“Didn’t excuse him from running off, but I suspect there’s some merit to what you’re saying.” Lebeaux didn’t particularly care either way. Looking at the book and its images too long was giving him something of a headache. He pinched the bridge of his nose, sliding glasses up and closing his eyes. “He thought he was hearing the ghosts of Amdapor and went trotting off to the Shroud to find some secrets to divine power.”

The scribbled line of marked doors might have passed for some kind of allegory, but as Rin leafs through the next few pages of experimental calculations, it's clear that doors of some kind were on the man's mind. They appear in the margins, as though it was something his mind returned to when idle and flowed out of his pen as unthinking scribbles. "Divine power, yes. Hm. D-divine indeed. I...did he ever t-try any experiments with his arcanima in your presence? Rinha'li's tail sweeps back and forth in wide, quick arcs.

Lebeaux shook his head, still rubbing at his nose. He finally gave up on the glasses, folding them up and tucking them away into his coat. No point to them around these two anyways. “I generally waited outside.” His hands settled on the teacup once again as he smiled primly at the miqo’te. “I offered you a look at the book previously yet I’m no longer feeling particularly inclined to give you further information. Seeing as you seem unable to grasp the concept of keeping your mouth shut.”

Geofferaut speaks under apparent duress, teeth gritted shut, lips barely parted, voice strained. "An. swer..."

Rinha'li's ears tilt towards Geofferaut. "...I-- I b-beg your pardon?"

Lebeaux looked quickly over at Geofferaut, somewhat startled by the reaction. He blinked blankly, the smile stuck in place.

Geofferaut does not rip his eyes off the grimoire. There is still an apparent struggle to form and force out words. "answer. the question."

Lebeaux still looked as though he’d been struck, more than a little surprised and perhaps unsettled. “I…” He started before he straightened up. “You’re no better than him, acting as though you’d throw over our research if Idristan asked for it. If I’m going to speak plainly and truthfully to you two I expect assurances that my words will never be repeated to anyone else.” He set the teacup down and folded his arms across his chest, fingers brushing against the rosary he had tucked away into his jacket.

"speak. child. or move." Seemed to be Geofferaut’s final warning.

Rinha'li opens his mouth to say something -- anything that will get him more information here, most likely -- but is cut off by Geoff's strange outburst. He too looks unsettled. "W--what--" He looks at the book again. He hadn't thought Geoff THAT ravenous to get at it...

“Perhaps just show him the book.” Lebeaux suggested as he shifted slightly along his perch a little closer to Rinha’li and the book. He cleared his throat, assuming that was as good as agreement that this remained between them. “Once or twice, when it got a little messy I was called in while he was still working.” He explained, speaking a little more quickly now as fingers curled around the beads as though they would do much of anything in this situation.

Rinha'li's ears flatten against his head, nearly disappearing into his hair. He seems reluctant to have the book leave his immediate vicinity, but he picks it up with the cloth and holds it out to Geoff with his fingers trembling on the spine. "T...tell me more," he mutters to Lebeaux.

Lebeaux remains well away from the book as its held out in offering, clutching his pear- rosary beads lightly under his coat. The smile had long since disappeared as his gaze darted between the grimoire and the other elezen. “Ciceroix was testing his theories on the accused. He was supposed to be interrogating them but it often turned in to experiments. One of the times I was called in he’d… ah, managed to turn someone inside out. There was nothing to be done for them.”

Geofferaut began the motion toward the book with a few rapid, interrupted jerks that smoothed out by the time the tome was in his hands. Once possessed, the move to the platform is rapid. His own book fluttered open to a blank page beside it - it happened quickly, possibly without much help from his hands - and a pencil, definitely held with fingers, began scratching copies and copies and copies. Geofferaut seemed unconcerned by the proximity or lack thereof to Lebeaux's seat.

“You are C-CERTAIN he accomplished this with arcanima? D-did you see the formulae he--ah--um!” Rinha’li asked hurriedly.

“I’m not sure. There was no one else in there and I didn’t see any tools he could have used for such a thorough-“ Lebeaux trailed off as the book exchanged hands a bit abruptly, with Geofferaut immediately beginning to copy down the books contents, page by page. “Wait, that may be poorly advised. If this drivel drove him to madness what’s to stop it from doing the same to you.” He noted as he reached for the grimoire.

“The--the g-glyphs within ought n-not t-to be aetherically active unless t-transcribed with--with--active inks--um--” Rinha'li, notably, has not attempted to transcribe anything into HIS notebook, however.

Geofferaut 's face smoothed as he transcribed. His eyes remained fixed on Ciceroix's book, drawings left to form unobserved - though few would be surprised to learn that they seemed to form just fine without supervision.

Lebeaux slid the book away from Geofferaut, intending to snap it shut again. “It’s the book itself I’m rather wary of. The Hearer I took it from seemed convinced it’s capable of doing some harm on its own.”

Geofferaut dropped his pencil and flicked the now-vacant hand up to intercept Lebeaux's hand's path. But by golly it wasn't so empty. A gleam of metal stopped just shy of touching the sleeve at Lebeaux's wrist. "I do not require the book. I require the geometries."

Rinha'li has also started forward, intending to take a closer look at the book's binding, but also stops short at the wrist flick. For a moment he just stands there stock still, almost afraid to move. “I...I say, is that really necessary?” Rinha'li says, after a moment.

"Yes." Direct questions should be answered.

Lebeaux froze, fingers splayed but not quite touching the book when he saw the flash of metal. Right, the sleeve steel. “Hm.” Fair enough. Slowly he brought his hands back to himself, settling them in his lap to adjust the cuffs and ruffles. “As you like, then.” Perhaps he’d just let them copy it then. “Feel free to make your own copies.” He suggested to Rin. Lebeaux managed to sound only slightly sulky about the entirely situation rather than outright pouting.

As quickly as it was there, the metal was gone and the pencil was back in motion.

@black-omen-born @cellardoor-ffxiv

#lebeaux #geofferaut #rinha'li #bookclub gets heated

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oinfernoblog · 4 years ago

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Inferno

Words Beyond Life

Post

All PostsAll PostsEducationHealth

Jul 1

4 min

How to make Coffee for Weight Loss

Coffee is that one brewed beverage drank by people all around the world. However, many people have started adding in a cup of coffee to their diet charts. Why? Other than having a strong smell and a soul-warming flavor but coffee is a shot of numerous health benefits, as well.

In addition, increasing metabolism and assisting one to work out more intensely – coffee may also help one to reduce weight. As it is a low-calorie beverage and also helps burn fat.

If you are more curious to learn about the other advantages of drinking coffee, then go check out our article on how does coffee helps in weight-loss right here.

You probably have written down your diet and workout plans, after learning about what a great blessing coffee is. Did you start searching about how to make coffee for weight loss?

Well, you have stumbled upon the right blog, for today we will spill all the beans on how to make the perfect coffee to lose weight.

Let’s make coffee

If you are drinking coffee for weight loss, it’s better that you don’t drink any coffee specialties.

Look at the product label of your coffee pack, in the nutrition box, watch out for the number of calories it contains. Our coffee needs to contain the least number of calories, in order to achieve that weight-loss goal.

Before brewing your coffee, keep these simple instructions in your mind, and don’t worry it will surely not take you that long.

Step 1:

Boil a cup of water in a saucepan.

Step 2:

Add a tablespoon of black coffee, when the water starts to boil.

Step 3:

Add a teaspoon of honey into your black coffee.

NOTE:

It’s better if you don’t add sugar or any other artificial sweetener in your coffee. Sugar will just add up to the calories and it will surely not help you to reduce weight. Instead, we recommend that you add honey if you dislike the bitter and strong coffee taste. However, it is better if you don’t add any sugar or honey – but it depends if you can tolerate it.

Another thing that people like to do, sprinkles some cinnamon on top of their coffee, that’s perfectly fine. Cinnamon and coffee, together with increase the rate of weight reduction, by producing a feeling of fullness, thus preventing one from getting any cravings.

If caffeine doesn’t suit you, take a decaf coffee. They do contain caffeine but in smaller amounts – about six milligrams. However, they don’t harm your weight loss goals but they don’t benefit them either.

Follow these instructions and retain these key points in your mind, if you want to make the best coffee that would act as a jinx for weight-loss.

The best way to drink your coffee?

Coffee, contains these stimulants that allow your body to perform more efficiently. A little coffee goes a long way, it’s better if we don’t overdrink it. Especially, if you want to drink coffee, mainly for the purpose of losing weight.

I recommend that you drink coffee once or twice a day. That way one might not become easily and quickly resistant to its effects thus it can still gain all the benefits by drinking it.

Drink a cup before you get out and go for your morning run or to the gym. By working out and staying active outside, you will use the effects of coffee in a more productive way – this assists weight loss. You also need to strictly follow your diet plan.

If you want to lose weight, get into that fit, healthful state and live your life with a good physical condition. You will only achieve the great after-effects of coffee if you eat healthily – add more proteins to your diet, reduce carbs and fats, add vegetables, fruits, etc.

What’s also important with exercise is that you keep drinking water. Coffee may dehydrate your body, in order to compensate for that, drink loads of water. Just imagine the glass of water like a cup of coffee, that way you can avoid overdrinking it but will still feel satiated and active.

Coffee doesn’t suit you

Indeed, drinking coffee helps in weight-loss but not everyone is in the same state or has the same tolerance level to handle the caffeine.

If you have a medical condition: heart diseases, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure. It may also affect pregnant women and people with anxiety and who find it difficult to put themselves to sleep. Coffee may have a negative impact on your health and may agitate your condition, maybe worsen it.

For instance, most people may feel the following symptoms, after drinking coffee:

Increase in heartbeat

Stress and anxiety

Insomnia

Overeating (stress and insomnia may lead to this point)

Indigestion

In such circumstances, we highly recommend that you consult your doctor over this matter and ask him or her if you should add coffee to your diets.

It’s alright if you can’t have coffee. You can make other weight-loss drinks for yourself, that may act as a substitute for coffee. Try celery, pineapple juice, or maybe have a cup of green tea. They will have an equal effect, like coffee, on your body weight – so look around for the best substitute and don’t let anything stop you from achieving your goals!

FAQ

Can I add other sweeteners other than honey?

Answer: Yes, you may add unsweetened almond milk, coconut milk, or stevia.

What is the best time of the day to drink coffee?

Answer: In the morning, before you work out.

Can we drink coffee with an empty stomach?

Answer: I recommend you not to drink coffee with an empty stomach as it increases the production of acid in your stomach. Thus, that may result in a damaging effect.

Can I drink something else, if not coffee?

Answer: Absolutely, you may drink green tea, honey cinnamon water, or celery juice.

About the Author:

Dr. Asad Munir Manager Health (Adamjee Insurance Company Ltd) Ex-Diabetes Consultant in Eli Lilly

#BLOG23 #weightloss #coffee#coffeemaking #diet #health #healthydiet#doctor #coffeelovers #inspiration#motivation #figure #dietplan #weight#body #shape #tea #greentea #water#drinkcoffee #drinkjuice #drinkwater#plentyofwater