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btssmutficslovingfan01 · 4 years ago

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Seducing Suga - Part 1

⮱ Summary: You were happy to find out that Yoongi likes your rap skills, and your original plan involved him, but then the unexpected happened.

Read 🌼 PART 2 🌼 ⇗

⮱ Words: 3.2k

⮱ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

⮱ Genre: Smut, Angst

⮱ Warnings: Sexual Themes, Takes place in a no-corona world, Reader is an interviewer, it goes downhill after the first half

Happy Belated Yoongi day!

________________________

“So can you rap something for us real quick?” With Namjoon’s question taking you by surprise, you look at your producer to make sure it is okay to proceed. You get a thumbs up, smiling at the boys as they watch with eager eyes. You kept your eyes trained on Namjoon, though, as you started the infamous Cypher 4 verse from Yoongi.

“Back back to the basic Microphone check Call me baepsae hogeun ssenkae geurae rap gamee nan daeinbae doege haeihaejyeotdeon Rap mandeureul gaengsaenghaneun ge nae cheot beonjjaeui gyehoek hashtag Sucka betta run geurigo inseuta sok gang gang geugeon gyae insaengigo nae insaengeun mwo maeilmaeil Payday, paycheck sonmok wien rolex,” You decide to stop right there, waiting for the boys to something as they stare at you slack-jawed with their eyes wide open.

“That was…” Namjoon starts clapping, spurring the boys around him.

“Amazing!” Jimin exclaims as you bow, licking your lips as Yoongi blushes and evades your gaze. You’ve never seen him so wound up live before, the only Yoongi you know of is the one that keeps his face expressionless and blank during English interviews.

“I’m glad, thanks.” Your makeup crew rushes towards you afterwards, making sure your face is powdered up before sending you off with the members for pictures. It makes the studio look good, so you were naturally sent to stand in with the living legends.

“Hey, I enjoyed what you did there with Cypher.” He wanted to politely ask you back to his hotel room, but he wanted to do so without being suspicious. You were more than ready to die for Min Yoongi if it meant you would be able to get your name on a billboard somewhere in the world. Sucking his dick would be nothing compared to what you could do once you got into a position of high power.

“Thanks. You know, there’s this really fancy restaurant down the street, how about after this we head there together?” He tucks his hands into his pockets, biting his teeth as he checks his phone that just went off with a text.

“I’d love to, but we’re on a really tight schedule today. How about tomorrow, or the day after? We have a free day so maybe we can plan something then?” You agree and exchange phone numbers before parting ways. You couldn’t believe you were going out on a date with Suga from BTS in exactly two days!

You went a little crazy during your shopping spree and bought a couple of items for your date. You were expecting it to end well so you also bought some lingerie. Yet, you also felt like you were rushing things. You weren’t a sleazy person so you wanted to make him feel comfortable. Thinking about things now, you’ve never actually hooked up with someone on the first date.

Yoongi is no exception, no matter how famous he might be. You made your way to your reserved table, smirking as you see him out of the corner of your eye. He greets you as you lean forward, sipping some water out of a straw in the glass.

“Remember, I’m buying.” You’re willing to invest in him, to see what it is that the world is so obsessed about when it comes to Suga.

“I’ll keep that in mind. How’s the steak here?” You blink quickly, noticing that Yoongi’s english has improved drastically.

“Um, great.” He puts down the menu and you do the same, confused as to why he’s suddenly fluent. He seems to notice your look of bewilderment before speaking again,

“I am fluent in English, you know? Lived in New York for a short time as a kid.” You didn’t know that about him.

“Wow, that’s interesting.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff I keep from ARMY. For example, I am a busy man, so I forget to eat and sleep often. I know it looks like I sleep a lot on bangtan bombs but it’s not true. I’ve gone days without sleeping properly before, you know?” That was another thing you didn’t know about Yoongi. Again, you’re not one of those sketchy reporters that would find whatever dirt they can on someone and reveal it. You know that the boys have their right to privacy, and you just want to do what you can to secure it. Especially if you’re gonna start this fling with Yoongi, or whatever.

“It’s insane that they expect you to even share that. I mean, it’s personal, right?” He chuckles at your enthusiasm about keeping his privacy in check and he appreciates it.

“It is personal. My job is supposed to be sharing my life, hobbies, side-hobbies, and friends with ARMY. My best friends are BTS, obviously, but otherwise if I bought anyone from outside I’d have to ask them to give permission to use their face on camera.”

“That is so interesting. Thanks for telling me about it, Yoongi.”

“I want us to trust each other. You’ve got this spark in your eye that’s different from anything I’ve seen. The rap game is about that passion.” You felt an unbelievable connection to him, not because he took the words out of your mouth, but just because he could relate to you.

“Yoongi, would you like to do this again sometime?” You ask at the end of your meal, dabbing a tissue over your mouth.

“I’d love to.” You were falling, despite having a goal in mind already. You didn’t want to exploit him anymore.

Your second date commenced the next day, while Yoongi was out with BTS you got permission from the manager and staff to be around the boys, and they were excited to meet you officially as the person Yoongi was “dating.” Even though it was only the second date, the boys treated you like family. They even made fun of Yoongi before shutting the whole thing down for a Bangtan bomb. You quietly stood beside Yoongi, as you made your way into the famous art museum.

You and Yoongi break off from the group, branching out in a way that makes things less suspicious. He pulls you close to him, as a camera clicks away at the boys and the last thing he wanted was to be discovered. You look up at him, with those twinkling eyes that he adores, and he’s lost in your lips. You shared your first kiss on the second date, going at your own pace.

When it was time for Yoongi to leave, you exchanged phone numbers and said goodbye. He never invited you to his room in the end because he saw more in you, than just a one night stand. The sudden connection, how you get along so well, it correlates with how much you mean to him. His life suddenly had a new meaning; he wanted to pursue you as well.

As if by magic, you get a job offer in Korea, a studio close to Bighit HQ. You were so excited that you video chatted with Yoongi. When he picked up, you could see that he was in the Rkive, and Namjoon was sitting next to him, staring at a computer screen.

“Hey guys! Guess what? I’m coming to Seoul! I got a job offer and I took it and now I’ll be moving there!” Yoongi springs up on his feet as soon as you tell him, excitedly knocking Namjoon out of his chair making you cover your eyes as the impact looks like it hurts.

“Really?! Wow that’s great!”

“I know, right? Let everyone know that I’m coming and I’m gonna be closer to you.”

“Yep. I’ll let them know. When are you coming here?” You fumble with the phone in your hand as you pull up the schedule on your tablet.

“Two weeks.” You and Yoongi hung up the call after chatting for a bit in private. You were quite happy with how your relationship was going, you haven’t even taken him to bed and you were the least bit bothered about that. Your emotional connection with Yoongi was more important than anything that comes after this point.

That’s why when he asked you if you wanted to go on a date on his company rooftop, you agreed. It was your third date with Yoongi, and you were more than excited to be in the same room as him. You were still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, happy to be around the man you adore the most. With his gummy smile and chocolate brown eyes, you fell in love with ease.

“It’s cold today.” He takes a swig from the bottle of Coke, making you wonder why he looked particularly down today.

“I suppose it is.” You were wearing a long-sleeved top and a pair of blue jeans. You didn’t dress for the cold weather, in hopes of earning a hoodie for your collection.

“I have to tell you something,” He turns to you with wide eyes, again looking at you sorrowfully as he tells you what was weighing on his mind. “It’s about Jin.”

After your date with Yoongi, Jin was rushed to the hospital. You caught up with the other members and two managers, who were making calls and pacing around the hall. The BTS members stayed seated in their chairs, waiting for news from a doctor. Hoseok looked worried, Jimin was in tears, Jungkook looked almost angry, Taehyung remained expressionless, and Namjoon was concentrating on his phone.

Yoongi was the most stoic out of everyone, even beating Taehyung for the best “blank” face. You didn’t know what to do, Yoongi just told you about Jin’s condition and now you were suddenly in the hospital, waiting for a proper report from the doctor about this thing.

“You know he’s gonna be okay, right? Jin always bounces back.” From Namjoons’ tone, you could tell this was a regular occurrence. The only problem is, it looks like this is the first time he’s been in a serious condition like this.

“For how long, Joon?” Yoongi snaps, making everyone in the hall turn around in surprise. “I mean, the doctors always say that he can go home and with a little rest he’ll be fine. He had about a month off counting all of the breaks the company granted him, and after he got back to work it just worsened. What should we say about that, huh?” He lowers his voice as he speaks to everyone, not just Namjoon.

“You’re right, Yoongz. We have to stop saying he’ll be okay. There are always gonna be trips to the hospital, especially now since we’re working harder than ever to make sure our next tour is better than anything our fans have ever seen.” Jimin wipes his tears on his sleeve, smiling at Yoongi as you clench your fist in your lap. You felt so helpless and it hurt even worse that you couldn’t do anything to make it better.

Jin’s condition is incurable, a disease that destroys him from the inside. He wasn’t dying yet, but it is a disease, so there is always a possibility of death. His immune system is weak so he gets sick easily. Even though he has the voice of an angel, he often loses his voice due to sore throats or other physical handicaps that prevent him from displaying his full potential.

He is only a few months older than him, but Yoongi looks up to him as if he was a grandfather or father figure, even. There’s no way to explain their closeness apart from the fact that he goes fishing with him because Jin likes to fish. Yoongi wants to spend as much time with him as possible not because he’s afraid of losing him, but more that he wants to remember the good times.

The members of BTS didn’t think it was possible that they would lose one of their own but they had to address it, especially since there was a photo leak of the boys sitting in the waiting room.

Jin only takes “long” to learn choreography because of his weak feet. He can dance well but he can’t move as nimbly as Jimin or Hoseok. Right off the bat, when it comes to learning new choreography he has to slowly break down the steps or else he’d get anxious and pass out. He wasn’t a weakling because of the disease, it was because of his mind.

The kind of criticism Jin got from the media online was harsh. It was enough to push anyone over the edge. That’s why when you saw him go into the practice room alone while you were on your way over to Yoongi’s studio, you took a moment to follow him and talk to him face to face.

“Jin?”

You make your way over to the practice room only to find him passed out on the floor. You call various employees, managers, and even get ahold of 112 at some point. Jin’s condition worsened, he was hooked to an IV tube because of his lack of appetite.

He’s looking more sickly these days, although it’s been only four days of him being hospitalized with an IV tube attached to his arm. Yoongi has been drowning himself in work, producing songs left and right, creating mashups, remixes, and working on songs for the other members. You barely got to see him with it being close to christmas season and your company preparing a big launch involving a new group of artists to be released to the world. You were part of the planning team for this project, so you had your hands full with work for a while.

You and Yoongi never took an official break, per say, you just didn’t make time for each other for a short period of time.

When you saw him again, it was at an awards ceremony. BTS was coming off the stage and you got a better look at him from the side stand, as he was very close to your section. The crowd for this stage was much smaller than any you’ve seen for BTS. There were about 10 people in your section, so it wasn’t hard for Yoongi to spot you and flash his best smile at you without searching.

He performed with swagger in his movements, his body mesmerizing you as he teased you again with a playful smile and a jolt in his hips. He looked like he was trying to hide something, but at the same time it was so obvious that he was trying to get through to you.

When he came over to your section particularly, and gave a finger heart to the audience, you knew you were screwed. After the performance, you made sure to give him a stern talking to. You were allowed to visit backstage just to check on the MC and make sure he had the right information about your group, but no one minded that you came back regardless just to visit Yoongi.

He had snuck away, meeting you in a dark and creepy hallway. You both look sketchy as hell, with him in a colorful suit and you wearing a pencil skirt with a baby blue top. Your hair was undone, messy with the way Yoongi had tangled his fingers in your luscious locks, kissing you passionately before you break the kiss to give him a piece of your mind.

“You’re in a lot of trouble, young man.” You grit your teeth as he growls in a low voice, a baritone moan escaping his quivering lips as you bring your knee up to his bulge.

“Maybe you should rethink who is the one that needs saving.” He squints after you grope his hard length through his pants, making his cock turn red from the rush of blood as you pull out his shaft from the seat of his pants (after pulling down the zipper of course)

“This is a very dangerous game you’re playing at, darling.” As soon as you flick your pencil skirt up and slide your panties all the way down to your knees before removing them completely, Yoongi is hooked. He doesn’t mind having sex fully clothed, as long as you don’t soil his outfit. He still has to meet other people after this, the least he could do is look presentable.

“When will I see you again?” You ask as he languidly strokes his cock, making sure to test your moist clit first with his fingers before sinking his cock into you.

“I don’t know, maybe 3 days? I have a lot of prep work to do and with the little free time I have I need to rest up. It’s not a good idea for you to hang around or I might not get much sleep.” He winks at you before you feel the hardened cock twitch inside of you, feeling the discomfort from his size turning into something more pleasurable.

“Fuck, you’re so big.” He grunts with the first few thrusts before processing what you just said.

“Ah, so you forgot already? Looks like I’m going to have to punish you.” He flips you over so that his lips are on your neck, and your body is cradled against him as you arch your back at the sudden feeling of emptiness from him pulling out so unexpectedly.

“Put it in again, please.” You beg him as he clicks his tongue before placing a hand on your back, and whispering,

“Bend over.”

You didn’t hesitate to listen that time, only gasping as he spanks your exposed clit and moves up to your ass. And then, he fingers you for the first time today.

You take in the feeling, soaking it up for your memories. There’s not a moment that passes when you don’t fantasize about your dreamy boyfriend. He’s always busy nowadays, and the same could be said for you. You’re pretty sure Yoongi doesn’t think about you as much as you think about him, as he seems very passive about the sex now especially.

You feel like he is doing a task rather than pleasuring you for the sake of satisfying you both. Even with the way his digits glide across your vulva and delicately penetrate your pinkish hole, you feel that he is just doing it so that you remember what he feels like. As silly as your speculations are, you’d like to think that the reason Yoongi was being so passive with you was because he is cheating on you.

As you get absorbed in your own thoughts, Yoongi takes notice of how you aren’t responding to his touches, abruptly stopping his finger-fucking as you snap out of your daze.

“Huh?” You blink down at him as he stays at chest-level with you, his palm resting on your thigh.

“You’re zoning out. What’s wrong?” You shake your head, flashing him your best smile before grabbing his cock and stroking him gently between your fingers.

“Just thinking about us. Sorry, it’s hard to focus on just sex when there’s a hundred other things in my mind. I’m glad we’re still making time for each other.” Yoongi gives you a small smile, grabbing your hand and sucking your fingers, individually.

“Yeah, but for how long?” The dreaded question you’d been meaning to ask comes out of Yoongi’s mouth.

“Are we gonna be okay?” You meant your relationship, but you had a slight feeling that he knew as well.

“I don’t know.”

🌼 PART 2 🌼 ⇗

#yoongi #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi day #suga #bts #bts ff #yoongi ff #hyunglinenetwork #min yoongi

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sparklingchan · 4 years ago

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Sun and Stars | Johnny Suh (NCT 127)

Pairing : Reader (fem.) X Johnny

Word count : 10k+

Warnings: A few cuss words here and there , gets a little suggestive towards the end. Not proof read sorry

Genre : Fluff,angst,romance , friends to lovers au ,college au.

Description: Johnny has no idea that you are head over heels for him - you intend to keep it that way.

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for around a week now and I am sooo happy to finally be able to publish it (Johnny in a college au makes me feel a type of way ngl) This is the first time I’ve ever written a fic with more than 3k words so I’m not sure how its turned out so anyone who reads the entire thing,know that i am so,so grateful to you .

Also shoutout to my best friend @chogiwow for helping me out with writing and desrcibing and everything else. LY <3

Enjoy!

Johnny Suh has a habit of biting his nails when he is nervous, you have noticed , his eyes focused on whatever is directly in front of him and his leg fidgeting up and down continuously.

You have seen him look nervous on many occasions before - like the day of exams, sneaking alcohol to on campus events , group discussions with professors - but nothing will ever top the way he looks right now ; like he's standing on the edge of a bridge, ready to bungee jump.

"I told Professor Yun to give us at least a month and a half to organize everything properly but that man just plain refuses to listen to me because I bunked his class once !" Mark Lee has a big mouth ,that's public knowledge, but when he continues to pace inside the empty auditorium, you find yourself getting irritated at his non- stop comments .

"Has anyone else tried to talk to Yun about the extension of the date ? Someone who doesn't bunk his classes? " Lia asks, her arms crossed in front of her chest. You have seen your roommate look serious before but right now she looks almost as if she's about to go on a killing spree.

"Didn't y/n go to him yesterday? I remember seeing her near the staff room with him. " Johnny points out and suddenly all eyes are on you.

Your cheeks flush at the mention of your name from his mouth. //

The tense atmosphere in the auditorium was already making you uncomfortable enough but now , with the unwanted spotlight on you , you feel as if your body has been squeezed into a car's trunk.

"Umm.." you stutter,playing with hem of your oversized Linkin Park t-shirt, "yes. I did talk to him but he said no to me too. He didn't even let me explain our situation."

Mark groans loudly, his head between his hands. "We are so doomed. The authorities are going to remove me from the position of the president of the student body! I can feel it coming."

"I don't know about anyone else but I enjoy my position as the vice president of the student body council. And I am not going to give it up because you shitheads were too lazy to get things done quickly." Ryujin says , her eyes flaming with fury.

She's been running after all the student body members to start working on the upcoming inter college sport events for a whole week now . It's not her fault that the other members are starting to realize the urgency of the situation just two weeks prior to the event.( including the president, Mark Lee). She has the right to be angry.

"Okay ,everyone calm down. " You say, reluctantly,not wanting to be the centre of attention. You lick your dry lips before beginning to speak again, "We've wasted enough time worrying and talking okay? Let's go over the list of duties assigned and we can resume working again. "

"We just have two weeks, y/n. There's still so much left to do. We've barely started yet. " Ryujin whines, placing her head on Jungwoo's shoulder as he tries to shake her off.

"I know but if we work hard for say even ten days,we can get things done. We can stay back after college gets over and work and then rest on weekends. Exams are not arriving anytime soon either. "

"I agree with y/n. The event is next to next Monday so if we do overtime then we can still pull it off,despite everything." Johnny agrees , looking over at you with a charming smile. But instead of returning the smile, you look away ,cheeks tinted red.

Have you always been this nervous around him or does it have something to do with the sudden glow up he has had over the summer break? You don't know.

"Fine. Okay." Mark speaks out, "Jungwoo, can you go over the duties once again? And if possible take a picture of it and send it on our group chat. "

Nodding to Mark, Jungwoo takes out a sheet of paper from his pocket and starts reading it out. "So um... Mark and I are working on sending out invitations and collecting names of participants on the day of the event. Ryujin and Yuna are leading the decorating team. Lia,Taeyong and Johnny are working on the food stalls area and the packaging of free snacks for the participants. Jaehyun , Haechan and Doyoung are on the sound team for the DJ show after the events are over and lastly,Yeji, Chaeryong, y/n ,Yuta and Taeil are participating in the events so they will be busy with practice but we do expect them to manage the things overall and help us after class. "

Jungwoo looks out of breath after speaking for so long ,his chest heaving with each breath and his shoulders slumped.

"Okay, guys that will be all. Remember to do your jobs in your free periods and stay back after college." Ryujin says, clasping her hands together to symbolize the dismissal of today's student body meeting( more like a group stress out session).

You pick up your books and swing your bag across your shoulders while Ryujin pokes Jungwoo's cheeks with the sole purpose of annoying him but he flicks her fingers right away.

As you reach the exit of the auditorium, laughing at the bickering duo beside you and your hands reaching out to open the door , you see Johnny jogging up to you hastily and pushing the door open before you could.

"Ladies first." he says as he gestures for you to walk out , a sweet smile plastered on his lips.

Your heart hammers against your chest.

"Thank you." You murmur , avoiding his gaze as you walk out of the comfortable, air conditioned auditorium and into the scorching hot campus of your college.

You've always been this nervous around him, you realize, ever since you guys met in the first year of college - despite being a part of the same friend circle.

And how could you not? There are no books, no tutorials, no classes to teach you how to behave in front of your crush.

The student apartments are a good thirty minutes away from the college campus, and with the increasing velocity of Lia's car, your desire to flop down on your soft, cozy bed increases too.

"Yo ,anyone up for a girls night out tomorrow night? " Ryujin asks from the passenger's seat,not looking up from her phone. You see her fingers scrolling through the various new resto bars in town.

"Count me in. I am bored of eating Yeji's horrible food. " Chaeryong replies ,earning a punch from Yeji.

"If you're so good at cooking ,why don't you get your ass out of bed and cook?" Yeji spits back,rolling her eyes.

You laugh at your flatmates' childish tactics.

"Anyway, I'm in too." Yeji sighs, resting her head on your shoulder,sleepily.

"Yeah, me too!" Yuna chimes in.

"What about you ,Lia?" Ryujin asks her friend in the driver's seat.

Lia narrows her eyes at the road in front of her ,but you know for sure her mind is going over the pros and cons of going out tomorrow night. You've been her roommate for three years now ; you know her basically like the back of your own hand.

"I guess so,yeah." Lia says , changing the gear and turning over the corner into your appartment street.

"Okay ,that makes five out of six. Y/n?" Ryujin looks back at you , her pleading eyes drilling into yours.

As much as you want to relax and go out tomorrow night ,you have a busy schedule. Swimming practice for the sport events in the morning ,classes throughout the day, helping out with the organization and a study date with Yuta late at night. You are packed tomorrow.

That and you didn't want to get drunk on a week day.

"I'm sorry guys,I don't think I'll make it. I promised Yuta I'd study with him. " you say . Your flatmates groan out loud,throwing you dirty looks for ditching them for a stupid study date.

"Why does Yuta want to study with you anyway ? Your majors are like poles apart." Yuna mumbles.

Frankly, you didn't know why he wanted to study with you either. You were a computer science engineering student and his major was performing arts. But it's been a tradition between you two for quite a while now. Maybe you've gotten used to comfortable silence with him when you study , like music playing in background, not loud enough to distract you but loud enough to help you focus.

"Maybe it's not a study date with Yuta after all. Maybe it's just an excuse to see his roommate,right ,y/n?" Yeji teases ,nudging your ribs with her elbows.

You blush for the nth time today. "No. I'm going to have a normal study session with my best friend. Can y'all please not make everything about Johnny?" You huff.

You regret telling them about your fat ass crush on Johnny that one eventful night when you had so much alcohol that you couldn't even recognize your friends' faces as they carried you home. You should have just had apple juice or something.

Thankfully before the conversation could go on further , Lia pulls over in front of your apartment and you sigh in relief. "Yayy Home!" Ryujin chimes with fake enthusiasm as everyone gets down from the car.

Your shared bedroom with Lia is a little smaller than the bedroom that Yeji, Ryujin and Chaeryong share but you've never had a problem with that. It's cute and warm and it reminds you of your room in your parents' house .

"I'll shower first." Lia declares as she grabs her towel and walks straight into the bathroom. You sigh,too tired to compete with her for a bath. You drop on your bed, nuzzling your face into the soft pillow ,feet dangling by the edge of your bed.

And by the time Yeji walks into your room to ask what you want for dinner, you are already passed out ,with the image of Johnny's breathtakingly gorgeous grin on your mind.

Have you ever watched those cheesy rom com movies where the male lead lives in a dorm with five other boys and their rooms are so clean you wouldn't find a single piece of clothing out of place?

Well, reality is a bit different from that.

You stand in front of Yuta's apartment door which he shares with Johnny , Mark, Taeyong and Taeil , after your flatmates drop you off and make their way for their night out . You shiver as the cool night air kisses your bare arms and you can only hope someone let's you into the apartment before you freeze to death.

"Oh,hey y/n! " Taeil opens door with a welcoming smile , gesturing you to walk inside.

"Hi, Taeil. Took you guys long enough. " you say shivering , narrowing your eyes at the boy in front of you.

The smell of burnt pancakes hits your nose the moment Taeil locks the door behind you and your gaze immediately shifts to the kitchen where Mark and Taeyong are trying to desperately save some burnt pancakes.

"Well can you blame me? " Taeil shrugs , eyeing the two boys .

"Figured. " You say as you make your way towards Yuta 's bedroom . You hear Mark and Taeyong yell a few ' Hi's ' and 'wassup's ' in your direction and you reply to them without looking back at their sorry faces.

Yuta's ( and Johnny's) room is like a second home for you. You don't often hang out here but there's a homely feeling in the warm colored curtains and the smell of Johnny's favorite perfume and Yuta's anime posters.

"Wrong room. Johnny is in the other room." Yuta comments when you enter the room and you throw your notes at him,earning a fake groan in response.

You sit on the edge of his chair , putting out your books and notes on his study table, while he sits in a far corner of his bed , his study material spread out in front of him.

Studying with Yuta is always turns out to be productive for you. You both rarely talk while studying , your minds completley immersed in the hastily written notes and the only sound in the room being the scratching of pens against paper.

Maybe this was one of the many reasons why you preferred to study with him in his room (and totally not beacuse of Johnny who you are yet to meet).

After two and a half hours of being knee deep into your books ,you finally slam the books shut and stretch your limbs,relief flushing over you after looking at the many topics you covered tonight. You mentally pat yourself in the back.

"You done?" Yuta asks when he sees you scrolling through your phone, humming a song you'd heard on radio the other night.

You nod,not looking up at him.

He's about to add something when you hear the sound of shuffling feet outside the door , followed by a series of soft knocks. There is only one man in this apartment who could knock on a door as tenderly as that.

"What do you want ,dickwad?" Yuta yells as he falls onto his pillows. You glare at him. He's taking away your chances of seeing Johnny tonight. "Y/n is busy!"

Johnny peeks in through the door , his jet black hair messy and damp as if he'd just walked out of a shower. He wears a grey hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants yet he manages to look like he'd walked straight out of a sportswear advertisement. God really has his favorites, doesn't he?

"Hey, y/n. " he says ,completely ignoring Yuta's less than appropriate remarks. You feel a warm feeling spread in your entire body , adrenaline coursing through your veins. He sends a soft smile in your direction , his eyes turning into crescent moons ,and it is enough to make you feel weak in the knees.

"Hi, Johnny. " you manage to reply and smile back , unlike most days.

Johnny's heart leaps at your response ,not expecting you to be any different from other days when you would reply his enthusiastic greetings with a cold shoulder. Guess today is his lucky day.

"I didn't mean to disturb you guys ,sorry. I just wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner with us. We're getting Sushi. " he asks ,rubbing the back of his neck.

Your eyes fall on the sunflower tattoo on his forearm and you have this sudden urge to wrap your arms around his slim waist and bury your face in his chest.

"Yes,sure,I guess. " you say with a slight chuckle.

"Aren't you gonna ask me,too ,Johnny?" Yuta chimes in ,pouting and batting his eyes at him. Johnny rolls his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up ,Nakamoto. " he huffs.

Johnny looks over at you again and in a tone very different from the one he just used on Yuta, he asks, "Are you okay with sushi? We can order something else if you want."

"Oh,I love sushi! Don't worry about it. "

Lies. You hate sushi more than anything else in the entire universe.

The sushi is a lot more digestible today than those million times when Jaehyun and Yuta took you out to eat (forcefully) sushi.

It still doesn't suit your taste buds but you could eat it without wanting to throw up,thanks to the company you have .

You and Johnny sit face to face on the dining table while Yuta sits beside Johnny and Taeil ,Mark and Taeyong are in front of the television, watching a game of football.

"Hmm..this is really so good." Yuta exclaims as he takes the last piece and stuffs it inside his mouth . Fat ass.

"I know right. How are you liking it, y/n?" Johnny asks , his eyes shifting to you. You feel as if you're melting under his gaze. As if his eyes were the sun and you were ice.

"It's good. Really good. " you reply with a chuckle, forcing the last piece down your throat with a sip of water.

An achievement.

You hear Yuta's phone go off ,vibrating in his pockets along with that annoying ringtone of his.

"Yeah,what?" He speaks into the phone. You figure out it's one of his classmates by the careless tone of his voice.

"What the fuck? Are you serious?" Yuta screams , his voice now laced with urgency. His eyes widen, "We have a class test tomorrow? How did I not know about this?"

You look over at your panic stricken best friend and so does Johnny . Your gazes meet and the two of you burst into giggles.

Yuta rolls his eyes at the both of you but doesn't say anything. He gets up from his seat ,his phone still attached to his ear.

"Johnny,my dude,please walk my best friend home. I can't trust the others. Please. " Yuta says to Johnny and disappears off to his room , and you know for sure that he's going to cram his notes till the next morning.

Yuta's words lingers in the air between you and Johnny and you find a sudden interest in the hem of the table cloth in front of you. You rub the cloth between your thumb and forefinger ,the muslin cloth's soft texture distracting you from Johnny's intimidating gaze.

"So,um..when would you like to go back home?" He asks , not being able to muster up the courage to look into your eyes.

You chuckle- you didn't mean to but the bubbling laughter erupted from your throat and reached your lips before you could even stop it.

"Why? Do you want me out of your abode so bad? " you tease.

You never tease Johnny. You never even joke around with him. You don't smile at him ,you don't chuckle at him. Yet here we are.

You were being very brave today and you hated to admit it , but you liked it.

Johnny's eyes widen at your unexpected response as you once again surprise him by not giving him a cold, careless response. His heart does a backflip.

You have your lips curved up in a smile and your eyes focused on him.

This feels like a dream, to both of you.

"No, no ,of course not. You can stay for as long as you like." He replies nervously.

You shake your head with a soft giggle, " Thank you for the offer but it's very late now. All of us have a busy day tomorrow so we should get going now. "

The night air is cooler now than it had been when you arrived at the boys apartment and you regret not wearing warmer clothes.

Johnny walks along with you on the sidewalk, his eyes drifting to look over you once in a while. He carries your bag in his because he insisted that a lady shouldn't have to carry so many things when he's right there.

"Why do you never talk to me unless I talk to you first? " Johnny asks in a small voice after a few minutes of leaving their apartment.

Your body stiffens at the question, your mind desperately trying to come up with a proper reply. You want to answer him , with all honesty , that you can't do many things that you want to because of your never ending fears. You want to go bungee jumping but you're afraid of heights , you want to talk to him first but you're afraid he won't share the same enthusiasm as you.

You were afraid of attachments and afraid of the unknown, both of which were complete opposites of the other.

"That's not true." You reply,trying to laugh it off.

He looks at you with sorrowful eyes, not quite returning your laugh. You feel your heart clench.

"Have I done anything to offend you ,y/n? If yes ,then please let me know because I really care about you and I would hate to disappoint you. " he says.

The streets are quite and calm and for a moment, it is only you and Johnny in this vast universe - his beautiful black eyes and your warm cheeks , his tousled hair and your nervous hands.

"No ,you haven't disappointed me. It's just...that we're in a big friend circle and it's not possible to ,you know ,be close with everyone. "

That is a pathetic excuse, y/n, you tell yourself.

His lips curve up in a small smile now, the worried wrinkles from the corner of his eyes disappearing.

"We can be, y /n. Of course we can. Shall we start from now on then?" He replies , enthusiastically, thrusting his hand in your direction.

Your heart thumps at a speed faster than the speed of light as you decide whether or not to shake his perfectly shaped, veiny,soft hand.

You're afraid of attachments.

But you're also madly in love with Johnny Suh.

You take his hand.

It is late in the evening at your college and you know for sure that you'll be bashed the moment you step into the auditorium .

After classes got over ,you had promised Lia that you'd help with the food stalls allotation and decoration but you ended up staying back with your swim team ,discussing strategies for the final competition day , hence causing your delay.

You look over at Johnny who stands outside the auditorium door , helping the decorating team with some posters and flyers.

"Mark is mad." he says when he sees you rushing towards the door, struggling with all the books and posters and ribbons in your hands.

You sigh, " I know, goddamn it."

He opens the door without saying anything and walks behind you into the auditorium, much to your surprise.

You see Mark standing by the stage , letting out frustrated noises and pointing at random decorations which didn't need fixing but according to him they did. Oh , boy,was he mad.

"Mark, " you jog towards him, trying to get a proper hold of things you are carrying before you find a table to dump them on.

"Gosh,y/n! You are an hour and a half late! We have so much to do and only ten days are left!" He yells at you,pointing at his wrist watch.

You squeeze your eyes shut to lessen the impact of his annoyingly loud voice.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I was with the team and well..we lost track of time. I'm so sorry again ,okay? I'll get to work right now. " you say,standing in front of the angry,tiny man in front of you.

You arch your back, trying to hold on to the things in your arms without letting anything fall onto the ground. You had one too many things to carry and sadly only two hands.

"I'll get that for you." You feel two hands grab your things from behind,the arms going over your shoulders and taking the chart papers and ribbons from your hold.

And you don't even have to look back to know that it is Johnny. You have him memorised by heart - from the color of his eyes to the softness of his fingertips, from his soothing, honey like voice to his smell. He's like a book you've read a fair amount of times yet ,you never seem to get tired of it.

"Thank you. " you manage to reply through the loud sound of your heartbeat and gushing of blood in your ears.

You almost miss the warmth of his body when he walks away to put your things on the table .

You know what , " Mark starts. He looks like he's about to throw up. On you. "Just get back to work. Ew. Fuck. Y'all really getting handsy in front of my innocent eyes."

You look at him with wide eyes. "Hey, we were not - "

And if Ryujin had not interrupted you at that moment, you'd have beaten the hell out Mark Lee ; not because he had accused you of doing something you didn't do but because he had triggered a part of your imagination you didn't even know you had.

It is on the same night that Yeji makes you sit on the auditorium floor and color the huge college logo they had been outlining since the morning , while half of the squad goes out to buy some cheap dinner and cold drinks and the other half is working outside the auditorium.

"I can't believe you are leaving me alone in this huge auditorium. " you mutter when Yeji jogs towards the door to join the others. So much for being friends since childhood.

"We'll be back in fifteen to twenty minutes, y/n. " she replies. " or do you want me to call Johnny to keep you company in this huge ,empty auditorium?"

You roll your eyes at her,hoping she's joking about it. But apparently not because within two minutes , you see Johnny walking up towards you.

His presence as if automatically puts a smile on your face ,like flipping on a light switch. You usually tense up on seeing him but from the last few days, things have been different, better even.

"Woah,this looks so cool." He says as he sits across from you, a pen and notepad in his hands. He smiles at you with so much sincerity that it takes everything in you to not throw yourself at him and press a kiss to his dimples.

"I know. But I'm afraid my poor coloring skills are going to ruin it. " you comment. You dip the brush in your hands into the bowl of water sitting beside you.

"I'm sure it'll be good. It looks good already." He replies, his voice laced with fascination. You giggle at his words , as you stretch your hands and back, groaning from all the pent up tension in your joints. Something you wouldn't have dared to do in front of him a few weeks ago.

Johnny laughs. " I can help you if you want . You can rest till the others come back. " You don't even think twice before agreeing.

As long as he's near you , it doesn't matter.

He comes up to sit by your side ,grabbing the paint brush and starting to fill colors into the blank spaces. With his eyes focused on the picture , you sit back and take in the view in front of you. The long sleeves of his tshirt are rolled upto the elbow, exposing the veins on his forearm. There is dirt and dust on his pants from all the work he's been doing today and then your eyes fall on his face, absorbing the handsome features god had bestowed him with. You notice a few strands of longer hair falling over his forehead, covering his eyes as he struggles to remove them with his non dominant hand. And before you can stop yourself , your fingers find their way to his forehead, pushing his hair away softly.

"Thanks,y/n." He says with a shy smile, the undeniable shine in his eyes almost makes you see a ray of hope - that Johnny Suh might be harboring the same feelings for you that you do for him. Your heart swells with excitement.

And without even realizing it, you feel yourself find comfort in his warm presence.

Your middle school maths teacher had once told you that time passes in the blink of an eye when there's an imminent danger at the end of the line and truly so ,the next few days fly pass by like wind and you soon find yourself running from place to place to make sure all finishing touches are done.

"Did you check out the pool areas and basketball bleachers? " Jaehyun asks, as you two make your way to the auditorium where Mark and Ryunin were to hold a last group meeting before tomorrow's big day. "Yeah. I did. Twice." You reply, stressing on the last word. Jaehyun heaves a tired sigh and you two turn a corner to walk toward the auditorium.

Your heart rate picks up when you see a familiar face standing in front of the door, leaning against a pillar. And you find your lips automatically stretching into a smile. "What is he doing outside ? Is the meeting over? " Jaehyun asks when he notices Johnny.

You shrug , "Don't know."

Oh,but you do know why he's outside ; this has now become an unsaid tradition between you two to wait for the other during group meetings. Johnny didn't acknowledge it,neither did you, but it was there, as distinct as Mark Lee's voice.

He sees you and his face breaks into a grin, his cheeks flushed and heart racing just like yours. And it makes the light at the end of the tunnel shine brighter.

"Is the meeting over yet?" Jaehyun asks Johnny, you following close behind.

"No,not even started." Johnny replies and then turns to you, his eyes burning into yours. " And Y/n and I have been instructed to buy tonight's dinner so we I'll borrow her for a while."

Your eyes widen at the new information but you see Jaehyun shrug and walk inside as if it weren't a big deal - but it was, you will be out alone with Johnny and it was making you feel sick , in a good way.

"Shall we get going?" He asks you ,cocking his eyebrows playfully.

You nod ,trying to hide your red cheeks. And he sees them.

You've been into his car only a a few times , most of which you don't remember because either you were too drunk or too sleepy to register what was happening around you. This is the first time you are actually inside his car,mind and body, sitting in the passenger's seat and taking in Johnny's smell that lingers in every corner of the car.

You notice how tidy the car looks,the clean seats and windows, no extra tissues lying here and there, no money receipts crushed into seat pockets, his car is everything Lia's isn't. The drive to the convenient store is short and silent - except for a few glances you both steal at each other without the other knowing.

"What should we get? Instant noodles or something else?" He asks you as you two look around the different aisles, walking close together that you didn't even realise your shoulder was pressed to his arm till he stopped abruptly in front of the fridge.

You clear your throat, "Let's get instant noodles. That's what they eat always anyway."

He nods and you grab enough instant noodles and drinks for your entire squad and soon find yourself back in the car with him.

You settle yourself into the seat as he climbs into the driver's seat,looking apparently angry, his eyebrows knitted and mouth turned into a frown.

"What's wrong? " you ask him ,concerned.

He looks over at you , with a small, guilty smile on his lips. He shakes his head , "Nothing. It's a ridiculous thought I had suddenly. "

"Come on ,tell me ." You whine , hitting his arm softly, "I'm sure its not a ridiculous thought. "

His smile widens but he doesn't answer ,instead he just leans toward you, Your faces just inches apart. If you were nervous before now you are completely sure you're about to lose your mind. You had imagined these scenarios in your head many times before ,but if truth be told, it feels way better in real life. The close proximity of your bodies , mixed breathings and his intense eyes staring at you like you're his favorite pizza, like you're a sunday morning after a very tiring week , like you're a beautiful flower in the middle of a field of weeds.

"W-what?" You stutter nervously. He chuckles , stretching his hand out to reach for the seatbelt and pull it across your body and then locks it tightly.

"It is a very , very ridiculous thought,y/n." he whispers. He is still leaning so close to you and you know for sure that if you weren't sitting already ,your knees would have given up below you.

"I'm sure it's not." You mumble but you're not sure if he hears you.

When you reach the auditorium, you find your friends sprawled on the floor, some playing with their phones and some having a mid college existential crisis.

"Guys,we're back. " Johnny announces enthusiastically as he runs towards the group, all of their faces lighting up when they see the food your hands.

But you feel far away from them, like you are there but your heart is not,like your heart has been left behind in Johnny's car,covered in his scent and his intoxicating gaze.

"Y/n, why do you look like you've seen a ghost? " Lia points out that night , lying on her bed with her blanket wrapped around her body. You shrug and let out a fake ass shit giggle, "No, I'm just nervous...for tomorrow, you know."

"Don't be. I'm sure you'll do great and even if you don't, we have an after party to wash all your sorrows away. " she says with an excited smile.

"Oh wow,that's great. " you reply with another fake chuckle.

Oh wow, you'll have to be around Johnny the whole day tomorrow. You are not sure if you are ready to see him yet.

Lia narrows her eyes at you but let's it slip,and you're thankful for that ,for you wouldn't know what to tell her when she insists on knowing your thoughts.

Could anyone blame you though, you'd had an almost moment with your crush. How could anyone expect you to be okay right now?

The weather prediction for today was sunny with a few clouds , but if only anyone could have prepared you for what you were going to see the moment you stepped into the college campus.

You'd felt jealous before , no lie there. You remember the time you saw Johnny hanging out with Yeri, one of your juniors, and laughing with her like there's no tomorrow and you had never wanted to annihilate a human so bad . You hate being jealous. You hate the burning of your heart in your chest ,the accumulation of sweat on your palms, the warm,angry breaths you push out from your nostrils.

"Who is that?" You sound like a bad , jealous female character from a drama when you ask that question but you cannot help yourself anymore. Not when you see a girl from another college running into your Johnny's arms ,giggling like a little girl .

"I-I honestly don't know. He never told us about any girl ." Taeyong says as he looks at your exasperated expression and then at Johnny's excited face. Taeyong is almost angry at Johnny for hurting his friend.

"Yea,he only ever talked about you ." Jaehyun adds from beside you.

But it didn't seem like that from where you stood. You see Johnny wrap his arm around the girl and crush her in his embrace, just how he'd crushed your heart into a million pieces. Something as fragile and previous as your heart and he decided to play with it? Why did he act all nice and sweet to you when he already had another woman in his life? Why did he give you hope only to leave you in the dark?

"Come on , y/n. Don't overthink about it. I'm sure she's just a friend." Taeyong says ,softly tugging at your arm to move you away from that scene.

Taeyong and Jaehyun, in reality, were shocked too. They had never heard Johnny talk about any girl in that way but you. They were sure one day or other,you'd end up together. They were as surprised (and disappointed) as you were.

"Has he ever told you that he liked me? Even once?" Your voice cracks as you feel your eyes fill with tears. "Maybe she's not just a friend. "

Jaehyun rubs your back comfortingly, worried about how he'll have to handle Yuta when he finds out Johnny broke his best friend's heart. Gosh,its going to be a world war.

"He has never openly said anything about liking you ,but he did talk about you a lot. Even until yesterday...we were sure he liked you,dude." Taeyong says .

You shake your head, "If he did like me ,he'd have told you guys. He doesn't and that's the end of it."

And although it shatters your ego , you look away from the pair and walk toward the swimming pool complex where your team awaits you.

When you enter the pool area, Taeyong and Jaehyun immediately run toward the audience to be with the others.

And you find your gang-sans Johnny- waving at you from the audience as you walk up to the registration desk and put in your name.

Your heart feels so heavy ,like those dumbbells that Yuta uses ,but a thousand times more heavier. You have no desire or energy to swim anymore. You just want to lie in bed and cry your heart out.

But sadly you didn't have much of an option..

"Good luck, y/l/n. Go easy on the opponents." Your coach tells you with a chuckle. You force a smile as you nod. Talk about overestimating one's skills.

You enter the changing room and quickly strip off all your clothes ,leaving you in your tight Speedo swimsuit . You tie your hair in a ponytail and are about to head out when someone bumps into you ,quite roughly to be frank.

"Watch out ,girl,jeez. " you mutter to her,rubbing your sides.

The jealousy from a few minutes ago comes back but this time not in the form of drizzle, this time it's a whole storm.

It's the same girl from before, the one with Johnny.

"I'm so sorry. " the girl says ,looking back at you with an apologetic look.

She's pretty,you realize. Long black hair and a mole under her eye ,she looks like she could be a model in training somewhere. Long eyelashes , a slim waist and perfectly smooth looking skin ,she has everything you ever wanted ,including Johnny Suh. She's pretty ,prettier than you at least.

"What's your name?" You don't want to know that name ,yet those words spill out of your mouth.

"I'm Joy. From the performing arts college." She thrusts her hand towards you for a handshake. " and you?"

"I'm y/n. " you reply ,the frown on your lips never once leaving .

"You're swimming too ,right? It's going to be great!" She says.

"Yeah,its going to be really great. " you take her hand.

You can't have Johnny ,but at least you can have the trophy.

The four basic stroke races get over within the first one hour of the competition and needless to say ,by the time the relay race was announced , you had three gold medals already in your possession.

"Relax your body." Your coach tells your team of girls while you stand in line,ready for the relay race to begin. "Y/n, since you're going last , put in all your energy. We need to win this last round to get the grand trophy."

Directly in front of you, you see your two other teammates stand and stretch their arms by the pool’s edge , their faces bright with a hint of excitement and nervousness. Beside them ,you see Joy and her other pretty friend getting for the race too. With her tight red swimsuit and perfectly done forearm tattoo , she has everyone's attention on her. And you bet that everyone in the audience was rooting for her.

You nod at your coach's words while he turns around to speak with your partner as you once again look at your new mortal enemy, your teeth gritting unconsciously and your gaze turning more into a glare.

"Yayyy!!! Y/n,let's get it!" You hear your friends cheer from and you giggle for the first since this stupid day began. Mark ,Yuta and Taeyong are cheering for you on top of their lungs while the girls are holding posters with your name written on them . You wonder when they had the time to make them. And the rest of the guys are clapping their hands like there's no tomorrow.

Everyone except Johnny.

He sits in between Mark and Haechan, his eyes practically glued to your frame and your eyes meet his for an annoyingly long second, he smiles at you and mouths 'best of luck .'

You look away from him ,your body burning with rage. So now he's going to pretend to know you? Or maybe he wasn't waving at you at all,maybe he is just looking at Joy and your self absorbed mind assumed that he was looking at you? Possibilities are infinite but time is not; time is very precious.

"You guys have to win okay?" You hear the coach say one last time , before patting you on your heads and walking away.

Somewhere behind you ,you hear a stand by whistle go off and your team mates on the opposite side immediately walk up on the platform.

"On your marks."

Thump.

"Get , set."

Thump.

"Go!"

The race starts off pretty smoothly, your teammate cutting through the water as if this is everything she'd ever known ,her speed unmatched with anyone else's. And when she reaches your side,your partner immediately jumps off into the water , the steady speed still maintained.

The next few seconds pass fleet away in the blink of an eye and soon your turn comes up ,you realize, as you climb up to the platform ,bending over to take a diving position.

And when your body hits the water ,you feel all the anger ,rage, sadness, envy being channeled into strength and energy. Your body moves against the waves like that it what it was meant to be doing ; not running, not walking but swimming.

Your ears block out all noises around you,your mind focusing on nothing but the finish line.

And the very second your hand touches the wall on the opposite side , your body relaxes and your head pops out of the water like a cork. The audience erupts into claps and cheers and whistles and your name being repeated on everyone's tongue.

Panting and smiling and fist pumping together at the same time is tiring but you do it anyway.

After all,you'd just won your team the swimming trophy.

You feel a little light headed but it doesn't affect you at all ; you had proven yourself in front of your friends and teachers once again .

Johnny and His lovely Joy can go eat shit for all you care. ( you do care about Johnny , you're just being stupid rn)

"I'm so proud of you , baby !" Ryujin helps you up from the pool while the other girls engulf you in a hug ,not minding the fact that your entire body is dripping wet with the chlorinated pool water.

The guys arrive shortly after and Yuta presses a loving kiss on your head, "Congratulations, bitch."

But amongst the crowd of people surrounding you, the pats on your back and side hugs,the happy faces congratulating you, you feel almost empty. Like something was missing. Like the last piece of an almost completed puzzle .

Your eyes scan the people around you , looking for none other than Johnny and when you finally spot him, your heart breaks even more as if it already wasn't completely smashed into tiny pieces .

Joy has tears of failure running down her face and Johnny brushes them away with his thumbs, her head finding a comfortable place on his shoulders.

You'd always wondered what it must feel like to be in such an intimate situation with Johnny. You had wanted to experience it ,first hand , but by the looks of it, that might never happen.

Beacuse you winning the competition is not more important than Joy losing it.

Beacuse you are not more important than Joy.

"What do you mean you don't want to go to the after party? " Yuta has been hanging out with Mark way too much, you think. His voice is almost,if not more, as loud and annoying as Mark's now.

"I don't feel very good. Can you please drop me home? Then you guys can go and have fun." You reply, not quite looking at your best friend. You're afraid he'd be able to read through you , just how he always does.

"This is not about you , is it? It's about Johnny. Taeyong and Jaehyun told me." There he goes.

"Think whatever you want. I just want to be alone for a while, please." You say.

He pauses the music playing in the car, tugging at the sleeve of your tshirt.

The image of Johnny and Joy flash in your mind ,still fresh even though it happened a almost five hours ago. You remember how tenderly Johnny had held her and how lovingly Joy had stared at him.

“I really thought he liked me ,you know. I don’t even blame him right now. I should have known better than to get attached,break my oath of forever maintaining distance from him. “ you speak in a hoarse voice, the lump in your throat growing painfully.

Yuta stares at you for a few seconds,then shakes his head with his eyes on the car dashboard, “Its not your fault either, y/n. All of us thought he liked you too.”

You see Yuta take out the keys from his pocket and the pretty,yellow flower keychain attached with it.Johnny had given him that on his last birthday,you recall.

Your eyes drift to various places in the car, from the blue heart sticker on the mirror, to the bills stacked into the pockets, the empty cold drink bottles and the smell of lavender spray in the air, everything reminds you of the man you were trying so hard not to think about.

You start softly crying.

"Y/n, goddamnit, you won the completion! You are our swimming champion. And you helped us organize this event too. You're today's star. Would you really let that asshole ruin it?" Yuta demands,passing over a tissue to you.

The words ' that asshole ' stick with you , stinging your heart which was still in love with Johnny but you don’t say anything. Yuta was only trying to make you feel better.

Not earning a reply from you,he groans,"I don't care what you want ,y/n. We're going to the after party at Haechan's family farm house and staying there tonight. That's Final. " he declares , turning the key and you hear the car engine revving.

"I'll cry if I see him. " you pout,sniffing.

"Don't worry, if he makes you cry,I'll kill him.." Yuta replies as you drive off to Haechan's farm house.

The entire drive, your mind keeps playing the moments you were trying so hard to forget and you hated it. So,so much. You felt like a prisoner in your own mind.

Yesterday night , in the car,when Johnny leaned down towards you, you could have sworn that he was in love with you.

But now, not as much.

You wonder if Joy had felt special when he comforted her ,because you sure as hell would have. You would have held him like the earth was ending today and he was only thing that could keep you alive.

"We're here. " Yuta announces as you pull over in front of the huge mansion just a little away from your college campus.

You have been here many times before so the beauty of the house doesn't baffle you anymore but your eyes do go wide in realization of how rich Haechan's family really is. Every damn time.

As you step out of the car , your sneakers squeaking against the ground beneath you, you can already hear the loud music coming from the lawn and the smell of barbecued food and alcohol makes you almost want to enjoy the party.

"You're late,y/n!" A very drunk Doyoung walks towards you ,Taeil waddling behind him with two glasses of vodka shots in his hands.

"I know I'm sorry. I hope I didn't miss much." you say ,slightly embarrassed at the fact that you almost skipped the party.

They both hug you tightly as you wince from the strong smell of alcohol, "Congratulations ,sweetheart!" Taeil slurs while Doyoung sings, " we are the champion ~" on the top of his lungs.

"Gosh,yeah,thanks guys." you push their intoxicated bodies away with Yuta's help and make your way towards the lawn where your friends sit around a bonfire , dancing ,singing ,talking ,having the time of their lives. You find yourself smiling a little on seeing at their happy faces. Your eyes roam around the group until they find Johnny , eating roasted marshmallows from a small plate and your first instinct is almost to say ' hi ' but you remember Joy and how painfully sweet they were with each other and you revert your eyes from him the moment he looks in your direction. Your heart paces rapidly, yearning for his attention but you know you wouldn't get it ,no matter what, so you walk inside the house, into the kitchen to grab something for yourself.

"That piece of shit Yeji burnt the meat." Chaeryong complains to you as she volunteers to fill your plate with food. You wonder how many more such swimming competitions you'd have to win for your friends to be this generous with you everyday. "Thank god Taeil saved it before he got horribly drunk." , she adds.

You giggle a little.

All of a sudden, you feel a tap on your shoulder and when you turn around , you are filled with dread. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect this.

" Hey,y/n. Congratulations on winning the trophy!" Johnny says with a bright smile.

As if you give two shits about it, you find yourself thinking for a split second. You look up at the tall man towering over you,smiling like he didn't butcher your heart earlier. He wears a warm grey hoodie with his favorite and probably only pair of blue jeans. His hair is slicked backwards ,exposing the forehead you'd often wait so eagerly to see. His signature cologne makes you feel weak , and if you weren't sober ,you knew things would have gone down pretty quick.

But you can't be rude to him - you could never be rude to him even if you wanted to.

"Thanks." You mutter in a small voice,taking the plate from Chaeryong.

Johnny furrows his eyebrows at your dull reaction and then eyes Chaeryong as if to ask what happened. She shrugs and awkwardly walks away from you two.

Brilliant. Now you have to face Johhny alone.

"Is something wrong,y/n?" He asks ,his concerned voice sending shivers down your body.

You shake your head, "No. Why do you ask?" You look around the place to look for your best friend. Where's he when you need him the most?

Johnny leans over closer to you. "You were ignoring me during the competition but I shrugged it off. And now you're acting like that again. " he says ,his breath fanning for against the side of your face, "I must have done something. "

You want to push him away but as shameless as it sounds , you were enjoying this attention he was giving you and even more than that, you were enjoying how physically close he was to you.

But it didn't mean you would forgive him. Or Joy for that matter.

"Why should you care," you chuckle sarcastically , "I'm not Joy. So don't bother."

Change of mind - maybe you could be rude to him if you tried really,really hard.

His face twists in further confusion.

" How do you know her? And why is she in this conversation again?" He asks,now softly pushing you against the kitchen counter , his hands on either side of you. He has you trapped ,literally.

You sigh, trying to hide the burning of your cheeks and the drying of your throat. You can't let your guard down. "I saw you...with her in the morning. Hugging, staring at each other like you saw the galaxy in each other's eyes. " you huff , your heart heavy from the pain that memory brings.

Johnny laughs , a deep, genuine laughter,erupting from his throat fills the kitchen. You feel like you were walking in the same tunnel again, Johnny waiting for you at the end with a source of light in his hands.

"Are you perhaps ," he leans in closer to your face, just like last night in the car ,"jealous?"

Of course you were jealous. You had always been jealous of anyone who was privileged enough to enjoy Johnny's extremely pleasant company ,especially in your absence.

" No. " Liar.

He presses his lips together in a line ,as if trying to suppress a smile.

"Then why are you turning red like a tomato?" He asks.

You turn your face away from him ,trying to move away from his grasp but he gently puts his index finger under your chin and makes you look at him.

"Y/n, Joy is my cousin." he says. Guilt punches you in the stomach like your stomach were a punching bag and the guilt was a boxer,strong and determined. You feel the blood pulsating in your ears ,in your throat ,in your temples. "I am not dating her or seeing her or whatever you think I'm doing with her. "

You look down at your feet but he makes you look at him again "I'm sorry." You mutter

"Do you remember last night I told you I had some useless thoughts?" He asks you ,his right hand now wrapping around your waist.

You nod your head ,the shame and guilt of falsely accusing him and Joy of something they never did not allowing you to look directly into his eyes.

"This is what I wanted to do. " he pulls your chin closer ,as you stand on your tip toes. Your faces were just so close ,you could feel his lips brush past yours, "May I?" He breathes.

You only find a small whisper to reply him with, "Yes. "

The feeling of his lips pressing against yours was something even your imagination couldn't have prepared you for. His soft, tender touch mixed with the urgency of the kiss made it feel even more surreal than it already was. Your noses glide against each other as he presses you closer and closer till there was no ' closer ' left. He held you firmly by the waist and your hands found their way around his neck as you depended the kiss,your tongues touching and breaths matching each other. You could feel the taste of the marshmallows from earlier and your stomach feels all giddy and excited.

And by the time you both pull away, you are panting, struggling to catch your breath as he supports your body against the counter.

"I like you ,y/n. I always have. I just didn't know how to approach you. " he says , brushing a few hair strands away from your forehead, "And I'm so sorry for making you upset today."

You giggle a little, confused whether to reply to his confession or accept his apology.

You decide to do both. " I like you ,too,Johnny Suh. So much. " you lean your forehead on his ," and it's fine. You didn't mean to make me feel bad ,I was being paranoid. I'm sorry too. "

Johnny pulls away to look at you ,his swollen lips curved into a heartwarming smile.

"I bet you looked cute while being jealous." He says , pecking your nose softly.

You don't reply ; instead you stare at his eyes, your heart pumping out these overwhelming emotions that you couldn't quite understand yet but liked it nevertheless. Your eyes shine like the sky on a cloudless night,making his knees feel like jelly and butterflies erupting in his stomach. At that moment , you realise that it was your eyes wherein he found his galaxy , his sun and stars - not Joy, not any other woman - it was always been you.

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pars-ley · 4 years ago

Text

Until Tomorrow | Part one

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Genre: Romance / friendship/ comedy

Rating: M (mentions of sex)

Word Count: 7158

Summary: You’re a happily single magazine editor in London, that is, until you’re set up with a handsome musician, who’s not exactly forthcoming about being in the biggest boy group in the world. But with your days together numbered, will this blossom into something more or crash land, leaving your heart broken.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you OK?” I ask mortified, eyes raking over him to assess any damage I might have caused from shoving into him. I put my hand out to help him up, he takes it; jumping quickly from the ground and putting a hand out stopping his friends from interfering, both of them fussing over him. “I’m fine, I'm fine, honestly, no harm done.” He says smiling, dimples appearing in both his cheeks as he dusts himself off.

I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes out; I suddenly notice how handsome he is and I'm slightly taken aback by it. And not the usual type of handsome either; when you see a good looking guy and once he’s walked past you turn to sneak another look at him. No, this is much more than that. He is almost ‘break your neck to turn and stare until he’s completely out of your sight’ handsome. For a moment I wonder if perhaps he’s a model.

“Are you OK?” He asks snapping me out of my train of thought.

“Yes, sorry.” I reply, shaking my head. “That guy walked straight into me and I just couldn’t steady myself in time.” The man in question was half way down the street, almost out of sight, no apology or even a glance in our direction after bowling me over and into this guy.

He puts his hands up towards me. “Hey, don’t worry. I saw what happened, I know it wasn’t your fault, you don’t have to explain.”

I breathe out relieved. Smoothing down my trouser suit and gaining my composure back, I have a thought. “Please, can I buy you guys coffee to apologise? They do pretty good ones here.” I point to the shop this had all happened outside.

He shakes his head. “No, no that’s not necessary.” He pauses for a moment. “How about I buy you a coffee to apologise on behalf of that rude man.”

I frown, that didn’t seem fair. “Oh no, I couldn’t.”

“Please, I insist.” He pushes with a gentle smile.

For some reason I found myself too polite to turn him down again. Even though I only asked out of being polite and genuinely wanting to do something by way of an apology. But there were worse ways to spend the morning than having a drink with a handsome stranger. I return his smile and nod. “If you insist, i’ll have tea please.”

To my surprise his two friends don’t join us; sitting at a separate table, which then has me worrying they all believe this to be a date. I hadn’t thought of it that way at all, but am now wondering if that’s how I came across.

“So, you don’t sound like you’re local to here?” I ask, taking a sip of my strong tea. “Your accent is slightly American, no?”

He laughs, dimples deepening. “No, I’m from South Korea but I taught myself English by watching American TV shows.”

“Seriously?” I chuckle, leaning back in my chair with surprise.. “That’s quite impressive, any I might know?”

“Thank you. Um, friends?”

I nod enthusiastically. “I love that show, could it be any funnier.” I quote Chandler's character, hoping he gets the reference. He does thankfully and laughs.

“Chandlers the best.”

I agree. “So, what’s it like in South Korea? I’ve heard some parts are beautiful. It’s on my list of places to travel to.”

He nods, swallowing a gulp of his coffee. “You should definitely go. I mean, I think it’s pretty amazing but I’m biased.”

“True. Are you on holiday over here then?”

“No, I’m here for work actually.” He doesn’t elaborate and so I'm intrigued what this handsome stranger could do for work.

“And what is work exactly, if you don’t mind my asking?”

He hesitates for a moment and stares at me, searching my face for something. “I’m a musician.”

“Ah,” It all makes sense, someone as good looking as him would of course be in the entertainment industry. “That must be exciting.”

He gives me a one sided smile. “It’s a lot of hard work but it’s very rewarding, the travelling is a plus too. What do you do for work?”

“I’m an Editor at a magazine. Not as glamorous as your job, but i enjoy it.” I take another long sip of my tea.

“That must be interesting, do you get to see lots of celebrities?”

I shrug. “Not really, I’m more behind the scenes, telling people what to do. I’m mainly in charge of what goes in the magazine and making sure my team has done their part. Occasionally, I might get to attend a photo shoot or an interview but it’s rare.”

“Is that the job you always wanted to do?” He asks curiously.

I smile. “No. When I was little I wanted to be a singer actually,” I laugh, “but unfortunately I wasn’t blessed with that talent. Then I actually wanted to be an artist.”

“Oh really?” He perks up, eyes on me, focused on my answers. “That’s interesting. So how did you end up being an Editor?”

“I couldn’t afford art school and I needed a job. I had an English degree and I started off as an assistant straight out of college. I proofread my way up to Editor, so to speak. Luckily, I still get to be quite creative so it keeps me satisfied.”

He nods, understanding. He studies me with avid interest.

“So are you sightseeing at the moment?” I ask, looking away from his curious gaze.

He nods, “Yes, we were just exploring. It’s not the first time we’ve been here but there’s so much to see in London.”

“That is so true. I’ve lived here my whole life but there’s always new things to be discovered. Museums, galleries, art exhibitions, if you’re into that kind of stuff.”

He sits up a little straighter, eyes eager. “Actually I am. Is there anywhere you could recommend?”

I think for a moment before inspiration strikes me; slightly unsure if this is a good idea but willing to give it a shot. “There’s an art exhibition happening, it starts this evening actually and it goes on for two weeks. I have a membership to the gallery so I get in regardless and two of my friends were supposed to come tonight, they can’t make it unfortunately but they gave me their tickets to try and find someone else to take their place... if you’re interested that is?” I offer.

Doubt creeps into my mind when I see his impassive expression and after staring at me blankly for a few moments, he then says, “Interested in what?”

I smile, amused. “Coming to the art exhibition?”

He laughs and shakes his head, as if at his own stupidity. “Oh, of course! I would love to and I have just the friend that would appreciate it also. Please, let us know how much to give you for the tickets.”

“Nothing. My friends got a deal on the tickets and they weren’t expensive so they don’t want anything, don’t worry.”

He looks at me quizzically and then raises an eyebrow. “I’m sure I’ll think of some way to repay you.”

“Why don’t we just call it even for me bumping into you and knocking you over. And then you buying me coffee.” I laugh. “Sound fair?”

He thinks about it, pursing his lips, then nods.

“Good.” I give him a run down of where the exhibition is so we can meet up there later. “If you give me your number, that way I can let you know when I’m on my way and where to meet me?”

He nods and types it into my phone as well as his name. Realising only then that I hadn’t even asked for it.

I read it from my phone. “Kim Namjoon?” I ask, making sure I've pronounced it correctly.

He smiles and nods. “Namjoon is fine.”

“I’m Y/N.” I say standing up and pulling my handbag over my shoulder. We shake hands; my grip much firmer than his.”I’ll see you there later, nice to meet you.”

He smiles and bows to me. “You too, Y/N. And thank you again, you’ve been very kind.”

We gave each other one last wave as I left, continuing on my journey to work.

Luckily, I only had a late morning meeting to attend, getting to leave work early on a Monday is a reason to get up and face the day if ever I heard one.

After two hours of sitting there listening, making notes and nodding, the meeting was done and so was I. I head out to the local shops uptown, running a few errands like picking up two new trouser suits for work. I opt for a pale blue one and concrete grey, cooler tones or black have always been my preference. I then pick up a new pair of black heeled sandals which I saw advertised in our own magazine and instantly loved. I grab some more of my face wash, moisturiser and some shampoo; everything running out at once and my shopping spree is done. As I stroll down the streets of Central London, I look around at the tall buildings, the lines of shops and the crowds of busy people and a feeling of appreciation swells inside me, living in such a thriving city. There’s so much beauty to see whether it be in the buildings, or the views, or the entertainment that scattered the streets. There’s nowhere like London and I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I walk past a young woman busking, playing her guitar and singing, I pause and listen to her for a moment. Her voice is pretty incredible; she had a very soothing tone. I watch the emotion in her eyes as the song she’s singing about love and loss clearly resonates and means something to her. For a moment it resonates with me too but I push it away, not delving into the memories. I take what change I have in my purse and place it in her guitar case, she smiles at me and nods thanks, i return it before continuing on my travels.

Freedom on a Monday, just who did i think i am; gallivanting around town instead of being at work. If I’m being honest, my workload is so huge I probably should have stayed in my office, or at least been heading home to attempt to do some work. But the idea of being swamped for the next couple of weeks while my colleague, Amy, is away on bereavement leave, had me wanting to enjoy it the best I could. I felt awful for Amy; losing a parent is devastating but I hate instead of getting someone to temporarily replace her, it’s split between myself and Chris, an assistant Editor. It must be harder for him however as he typically has a lot of work bumped down to him from more senior members. Who knows, maybe there’ll be a promotion in it for him.

I’d missed lunch so I decided to pop into my friend's Japanese restaurant which is only a couple of tube stations away. He’s the head chef in the small, family run business and always accommodating. He greeted me with his usual warm smile as I entered. I head over towards the stools at the counter where he’s cooking in plain view.

“Y/n! And to what do I owe the pleasure of the most beautiful girl in town?” He calls loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear.

I wink. “Lunch, with the biggest flirt and the best chef in town, obviously Yoshi.” I beam at him taking a seat directly in front of him.

I’d met Yoshi at college; I was studying Art and English and he had been studying hospitality and catering. We hung out nearly everyday on campus and with one of the most wicked sense of humours he had quickly become my best friend. There was a time, at the start of our friendship, where he had tried his luck like a typical teenage boy and asked me out on a date but thankfully, my refusal had not affected our blossoming camaraderie, thankfully and he’s flirted with me for laughs ever since.

Since starting work we’d seen less of each other but still made sure to talk frequently.

“I sincerely hope you’re not using and abusing me?” He asks feigning shock. “On second thoughts, I sincerely hope you will.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively as he leans over the counter, making me chuckle.

“In your dreams lover boy.” I slap him playfully on the arm.

“You’re usual, petal?” He asks, preparing ingredients to cook my favourite dish.

I nod. “Yes please. So how have things been?” I ask glancing over the menu anyway.

“Pretty good. We’re getting steady customers, busy afternoons and evenings and we’re making all our payments on time, things are improving and looking up.” He hesitates. “...And did i mention i’m seeing someone?”

My head snaps up at this information. “As in a singular person? Just one?”

He pulls a face at me. “Yes just one, it’s not a big deal y/n.”

“On the contrary.” I cut him off. “This is huge news. My little slut of a friend actually liking someone and becoming...dare i even say it...monogamous.” I gasp, placing the back of my hand across my forehead, mock fainting.

He grimaces. “Alright, I wouldn’t go that far, we’re just taking it slow and seeing how things go. But yes...i do like her...at the moment.”

I laugh at that. “And how long have you been seeing her?”

He shrugs, “About a month.”

My mouth pops open and makes a silent ‘wow’. “How is she? You know....in the sack?” I tease.

His cheeks blush. “What’s with all the questions, am i under interrogation?”

He is and he knew full well this was our usual back and forth when one of us mentioned a date. The fact he’s dodging my question completely means this is a lot more than he’s letting on. My jaw practically hit the counter. “You haven’t slept with her yet!? In a month? That’s very uncharacteristic of you.”

“Yea well, it just hasn't happened yet, OK?” He sighs giving into my questioning.

“Hey Yoyo, stop being so steely.”I give him a playful glare. “It’s OK to have feelings for someone, it’s bloody normal. So don’t be embarrassed, at least not with me.”

“You’re right.” He relents, sighing. “I just really like her and I don’t want to mess it up. I’m in uncharted territory right now, some advice would be appreciated.”

I look up at him. “My advice? It’s not complicated, just be yourself, who wouldn’t love you.”

He rolls his eyes at me and laughs.

“Hey, I'm being serious. Just be honest, women appreciate that. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with who you are, so don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I know you do that a lot.”

He nods slowly, agreeing. “That I do, OK you got me there. Be myself, OK. I can do that.”

“Does this mystical lady have a name?” I ask.

He smiles to himself. “Jenna.”

I nod. “And...is there a picture?”

He looks up at me and pauses, I raise my eyebrows expectantly. He sighs again, relenting, shoulders slumping as he takes his phone from behind the counter. He places it down in front of me, taps a few buttons then turns it round to face me. He washes his hands and continues cooking my meal whilst I look at the illuminated picture on the screen. She is gorgeous; tanned, freckles, with shoulder length, dark curls and perfect soft features. She had a nose stud and what looked like no makeup, she’s a natural beauty.

“She’s beautiful, Yoyo.”

He grins proudly. “She’s fun too. You’d really like her.”

“Well then I hope to meet her soon.” I reply as he hands me a glass of water. “And I can give her the best friend ‘don’t you hurt him’ chat.” I put my fist up in warning and he laughs.

“God, please no. So what about you? Seeing anybody?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

I roll my eyes. “No. Next question please.”

He shakes his head at me but doesn’t argue, as he hands over the steaming bowl of Pad Thai. “Fine. How’s work?”

I shrug, tucking into my perfectly presented meal. “Same as usual, except busier. I’m covering for Amy for the next two weeks, so I have double the workload. “I pull a face. “So my social life is going to take an immediate dive.”

He laughs. “What social life?” He steals a bit of chicken off my plate and throws it into his mouth. I glare at him, unamused.

“That exhibition tonight is going to be my last bit of fun for a couple of weeks.”

“And not everyone would call that fun. Interesting, definitely. Educational, for sure. Compelling even...but fun? No.” He retorts.

I stick my tongue out at him.

“Oh speaking of,” he says, grabbing another piece of chicken while I swat him away with my chopsticks. “Did you find someone to have those tickets?”

“Actually I did, this morning as a matter of fact.” I chew what’s in my mouth and swallow. “I met a guy, quite literally bumped into him and we got chatting over coffee. He’s a tourist and asked about any recommendations for museums and art so I offered the tickets to him.”

Yoshi looks at me, suspiciously. “That sounds a lot like a date y/n.” Raising an eyebrow at me, he leans his elbow on the counter, resting his face in his palm.

“I can assure you, it wasn’t. We just had a friendly chat, over a friendly beverage, that’s all. Nothing more to it. He’s bringing a mate with him tonight, so it’s just going to be a very friendly evening.” I accentuate the words on purpose hoping he’ll back off.

He raises his hands in surrender. “OK, if you say so, let's just hope mystery man is on the same page you are.”

I roll my eyes. We continue catching up for a little while after I finish my meal. We make plans for the coming weekend to hang out at his place for a movie night, to give me a break from my work. We say goodbye and I'm off home thinking about what to wear tonight.

I remove my jacket as soon as I'm on the tube, the summer heat sweltering underground. I stand by the window at the back of the carriage, welcoming the slight breeze I feel. I truly hated being on the underground, the hot sweaty bodies packed tight in each compartment, it was unbearable sometimes and we weren’t even at the height of summer yet. Luckily, I only had a few stops to go before exiting as quickly as I could, back on the streets.

It’s only a short walk from the station before I’m climbing up the steps to my apartment, wiping the sweat from the back of my neck. The summer evening air is muggy making wearing work attire quite uncomfortable. As soon as I’m in and the door shuts behind me, I strip out of my trouser suit completely.

I turn on my laptop to check my emails before starting some of the workload. Once I’d sent a few urgent emails and documents off, I opt for a nice, cool shower, hating to admit the nerves that were creeping in at the idea of meeting two strangers tonight. My stomach was in knots. I was mostly a confident, friendly person; engaging with people is something I had no problem with, especially in a work environment but in this kind of meeting it was easy for me to get nervous and clam up. I can sometimes struggle to keep conversation flowing with new people which was the main reason I hated dating so much. I just find it all so awkward; the conversation, getting to know each other, asking the same mundane questions. Let alone the first kisses, first time you have sex, first time meeting the parents, it was all just a little overwhelming for me nowadays.

I quickly dry myself off, the cool air on my damp skin feels welcoming but I don't have time this evening to relax and enjoy it. I dress in a thin, black maxi dress; something light and comfortable. I add my silver moon necklace and my little silver studs that decorate my numerous ear piercings. I quickly brush my teeth, add a touch of mascara and a sweep of lip gloss. I pull on my converse, chuck my phone in my handbag and grab my denim jacket and keys before heading out the door. I double check I still have the tickets in my bag and I decide to send a quick text to Namjoon just to check if they’re still coming.

Unknown [18.34]: Hey Namjoon, just checking we’re still OK to meet tonight at the museum?

Realising I didn't give him my number, I quickly type out another message.

Unknown [18.34]: It’s Y/n btw. In case anyone else is giving away free tickets to a museum today

I cringe at myself and how not smooth I am, then remember this isn’t a date so i shouldn’t be worried. As I walk toward the tube station I feel my phone vibrate in my bag, my stomach turns as I pull it out and read the message.

Namjoon [18.37]: LOL! Of course, we are on our way. See you soon

I breathe a sigh of relief that they are coming, then my shoulders get tense and my stomach knots again. I’m meeting up with two strangers in a museum...this won’t be awkward at all.

I walk along the back streets I know so well to get to the museum. When I’m around the corner from it, I take a few gulps of water from the bottle I brought with me and return it to my bag. I use these few moments to take a breather, wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. Taking a few deep breaths I head to the entrance of the museum and scan the small crowd outside. I spot Namjoon a mile off. He stands out slightly, not only because he’s handsome but also because he’s so tall. One might even use the word gangly; all limbs but in an endearing sort of way.

I start to head over as my eyes sweep the faces of the men he’s with. The two men I saw him with outside the coffee shop this morning are here and I wonder how they’re expecting to get into the exhibition. I start replaying the conversation I had with Namjoon about the tickets. I did say I only had two, right? I’m sure I did. Just like I was sure he had only mentioned bringing one friend with him tonight. I can see he has someone else with him, a third person with dark, slightly dishevelled hair and wearing a long brown coat but he has his back to me.

Namjoon spots me and waves me over. As I begin to close the distance between us his friend turns to face me and it takes everything I have not to stumble as I walk. I thought Namjoon was handsome but his friend...his friend looks like an Adonis. He had the type of face that should be carved into a statue. His features; smooth, straight and perfect. When he looks away from me and back at Namjoon I feel slight heat in my cheeks as I approach them. He turns around and stands next to Namjoon, watching me as I approach.

“Glad you guys could make it.” I say, surprised my voice actually works. My mouth feels so dry suddenly, it’s hard to swallow.

“Glad you invited us.” Namjoon replies.

I look at the two friends who were with him this morning and give them a polite wave. They smile and nod.

“Don’t worry, they’re not joining us, they’re just our ride home.” Namjoon says as if he’s reading my mind, or perhaps my worried expression. “Y/n this is my friend Taehyung.” He looks at his friend. “This is Y/n.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” I say, the back of my neck prickling with heat and not just from the weather.

He stares at me long enough for me to start to feel embarrassed, until Namjoon nudges him in his side. That seems to snap him out of it, as he quickly bows, spluttering an apology. “It’s nice to meet you.” He says softly with a deeper voice than i was expecting.

I smile but look away as I feel a flush of crimson creep up my cheeks. I could feel his gaze on me which didn’t help. Never had I seen a man who’s looks and aura alone could hold my interest.

“Thank you for inviting us.” He spoke slowly.

I meet his gaze again. “You’re welcome, it’s actually nice to be able to share this place with someone for a change.” I instantly want to tell myself to shut up and stop rambling.

Taehyung’s eyebrows rise, seeming surprised. “It would be a great place to bring a date, no?”

I chew my bottom lip. “I don’t really date much to be honest.”

“Why not?” He frowns. His cheeks flush slightly as Namjoon nudges him in his side and he averts his eyes away from mine.

I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to sound any more pathetic than I feel. “I...I just don’t find that many people interesting. So many men I meet seem to be the same.” I shrug and play with the fabric on the skirt of my dress.

He nods, processing my words. “I understand.” He continues to stare at me, making my heart race a mile a minute.

“Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places.” Namjoon cuts in. I tear my gaze away from Taehyung to meet Namjoon’s amused expression. He raises an eyebrow at me, then darts his eyes between me and Taehyung, being about as subtle as a machine gun. I instantly feel hot at his implication, as I realise why he was so interested in bringing his friend here. I hate blind dates, hell, I hated dates so this was going to be nothing short of disaster.

“Shall we?” Namjoon gestures his palm towards the museum. I nod and lead the way. The two drivers stay where they are, as we walk up the large stone steps to the glass doors.

I show my membership card to the receptionist; Judy, and give her the pair of tickets. After our usual pleasantries she waves us in and we turn into the exhibition. Every wall had at least one piece of art whether it be paintings, photos, projectors. There are statues in the centre of the rooms, people surrounding them and studying them intently. I hang back a bit, letting Taehyung go ahead, ensuring he was out of ear shot as I slow my pace to meet Namjoon’s.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to set me up with your friend.” I ask side eyeing him.

He smirks. “See, pretty and smart.” He jokes, walking with both his hands held behind his back. “Go easy on him, he doesn’t date much either nowadays and he’s a little shy around women.”

“Wait,” I cut him off. “What makes you think he’s even going to be interested in me?” I wonder out loud.

He stops in front of me, his face serious. “One, I can’t see any reason why most men wouldn’t be interested, you've already caught the attention of quite a few men in here.”

I glance around, suddenly feeling self conscious, feeling as though all eyes in the room are on me.

“Two, I’ve known Taehyung for a long time, I know his type and I know what he likes and you are it. And three, you seem like a genuinely nice woman and I think you’ll be kind to him.” He shrugs.

I could feel my ears pink with embarrassment at everything he just said and I’m not sure what to say or do in response.

“I don’t know much about you or your type,” He continues, “but I can already tell that you are attracted to him, so I’m checking that off the list. What I can tell you about him is even though he’s a little shy at first, once he opens up, he’s kind, gentle, funny, caring, fun, artistic and pure hearted. Any of those qualities unappealing to you?”

I shake my head unable to say anything; my mouth so dry from nerves I could hardly swallow, let alone speak.

“Good, so you should go and talk to him and i’m going to look at this painting right over there.” He quickly disappears, walking backwards off through the crowd with a dimpled smile on his face.

What on earth just happened? Was I just part of a drive by set up? I glance at Taehyung over by a set of photos, our eyes meet for a moment before he quickly looks away and focuses back on the portraits. Feeling awkward just standing here, I take a few deep breaths and stroll over to him. I fix my attention to the images in front of me, letting my eyes roam over each of them, before glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.

We stand there quietly before I’m the one to break the silence. “So, have you also been to London before?” I roll my eyes at my own mundane question.

He nods. “Yes, this is my second time here.”

“Are you enjoying it so far?”

“Yes,I love London. I love the fashion, the art and the architecture. There’s so much to see.”

“Yea, that’s true.” I fiddle with the hem of my dress. “Are you here for work also?”

He nods. “Yes, we don’t get much time to enjoy it though. I want to come back as a proper tourist someday.”

“Good idea, you probably still wouldn’t get to see everything you want; I’m still finding things all the time.” I smile and he mirrors it.

“Yes I can imagine, it’s a big place.” He leads me to another piece of artwork, a sculpture of a female face this time.

“Are you a musician like Namjoon?”

I see him tense up slightly from the corner of my eye. “Yes I am.”

“That’s pretty cool.” I can tell, like Namjoon, it’s something he doesn’t wish to divulge any more about.

“Yea it is, I guess. Namjoon tells me you work for a magazine?” He asks as we wander over to a projector piece, hundreds of images of faces flashing in a story like a flip book.

“Yes, I’m an editor. Not as exciting as your profession but i enjoy it.”

He turns his attention to me more. “That must be a lot of hard work?”

I nod slowly. “Yes, it can be very stressful at times but there’s something quite satisfying in it. Knowing that i’m putting together a form of entertainment and knowledge for people, I like that.”

He looks off thoughtful for a moment, “I’ve never thought of a magazine like that before but that’s a nice way to look at it.”

“Let me guess, you usually think of the celebrity tabloid gossip mags?” I ask, raising a questioning eyebrow.

He smirks, “OK you got me there, i was.”

I laugh and tut at him. “I’m offended.” I mock, clutching my chest. He laughs at me, the breathy sound pleasing to the ear, distracting me to the way the veins in his neck bulge slightly as he does.

“OK, my apologies.” He bows, teasing.

“You’re forgiven, you may rise.” I laugh at his serious expression, unable to stop myself.

We continue to stroll around the exhibition, Namjoon trailing behind, allowing us to talk. The conversation flowed easily, mostly random chat and art talk. I learned that like me he’s quite interested in art, he enjoys photography and Van Gogh’s starry night is his favourite painting.

“Have you been to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam? That was my favourite part of my trip there.” I recap.

He nods eagerly. “Yes! I went last year, it was my favourite part too. I did a lot of photography in Amsterdam actually, the views and structure of the place make it very easy to get good shots.”

“I’d love to see some of them sometime.” I say, my cheeks feeling warm as I fiddle with one of my fingernails

He turns to me, surprised and hopeful. “Does that mean you’d like to see me again?”

I thought about making a joke and teasing him but didn’t know him well enough to know how he could react, so i decided against it.

“I would, yes.”

He has a boxy grin that spreads across his face and I can't help but let my gaze rake over him, taking in every detail. The way his dark, hooded eyes shrunk when he laughs, or how they looked around with so much awe and innocence any other time. The way his nose was perfectly straight and just a little bit shiny. The moles on the end of his nose and one on the edge of his bottom lip; the thought of kissing that mole on those flawless, angular lips crosses my mind but I push it away. I needed some air...and some holy water.

Once we’d looked at all the pieces, we make our way to the exit.

“I really enjoyed this exhibition, this museum is nice too.” Taehyung says as he rakes a hand through his dishevelled brown locks.

“Yea, I come here a lot. It’s where I come to think. Looking at the art helps me to clear my head. Helps me figure out my next move.”

“Next move to what?”

I shrug. “Just in life, you know, what i’m going to do next.”

“So what is your next move?” He raises an eyebrow at me and my stomach clenches at the sight. How can he make something so simple look so sexy?

“That was supposed to be my task for tonight.” I say unable to stop myself from smiling.

“And I'm distracting you from that?” He asks, smirking clearly knowing the answer.

I swallow nervously before saying. “You’re a welcome distraction.” I can hardly hear myself over my thundering heartbeat. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m about ready to run to the bathroom and flush my head down the toilet out of sheer embarrassment when I can feel his gaze on my face and I catch a glimpse of a smile and flushed cheeks as he turns his face away from me.

Once outside the cooler air hits and I slip on my jacket whilst we wait for Namjoon.

“It’s a nice night.” Taehyung says as he leans on the wall, looking up at the now inky sky that mirrors in the river stretching out in front of us.

“Yes, it is lovely.” I sigh after taking a deep breath of the cool night air. I hear a shutter sound in the silence, my eyes flicker over to him as I see his phone aimed at me.

He smiles, looking bashful. “I’m sorry, do you mind?”

I shake my head, feeling my cheeks turn crimson and look back out over the still waters.

A few more shutter sounds as he continues to take pictures of me. I’ve never been a model for anyone, in any way, shape or form so this concept is hard for me to grasp and not feel like a complete idiot.

“The light is so perfect here, and you look very beautiful. I couldn’t not take the opportunity.” He says quietly as he leans across showing me his phone screen. His arm touches mine, the scent of him swirls around me, woody and yet floral. I focus back on the phone. I have to double take, the photo is breathtaking, it looks like it was from a professional photo shoot. The way the lighting touches my face, the reflection of the sky and the buildings in the river, it was the perfect portrait and something I'd gladly have hanging on my wall.

“Wow, that looks incredible.” I gasp. “You’ve made me look gorgeous.”

“No, you do that on your own. Nothing to do with me I promise you. I just wish I had my proper camera with me.” He says quietly to me, only inches away from my face. I stare up at him, our eyes lock and I feel myself getting lost in his ebony pools. His fingers reach up and tuck a stray strand of my hair, blowing in the gentle breeze, behind my ear. I almost mechanically reach into his touch but manage to stop myself. What is it about him that makes me feel like I’m losing control over myself? I could feel the walls I've spent years building, falling down around me. What is it about this stranger?

“Can i see you tomorrow?” He says almost a whisper. His eyes still not leaving mine and his face still within reaching distance of my lips.

It takes me a moment to realise what he’s said and as I think about his question, I can already feel like tomorrow is too long to wait. “Yes.” I let out a breathy reply, my heart pounding from his proximity.

“Would you like to go out for dinner?” He asks hesitantly.

My stomach flutters with excitement. “Yes I would.” Unable to stop the smile spreading across my face I force my eyes away from his and down to the ground. He takes a step back, giving me a little more clarity.

Namjoon comes bouncing down the steps outside the museum and over to us. “That was incredible. Thank you, y/n. You must let us do something to repay your kindness.”

I shake my head. “Absolutely not. It was my apology for knocking into you this morning. You agreed we were even.”

“Namjoon, I’m going to make sure Y/n gets home safe.” Taehyung cuts in.

“OK, sure, let’s go.” He replies looking over at they’re two escorts.

My heart drops, as lovely as Namjoon is, I was looking forward to the alone time with Taehyung. The two of them look out over the river, there seems to be a quiet exchange between them both, then Namjoon says into the silence, “You know, I'm actually feeling really tired.” He does an incredibly obvious fake yawn. “I’m just going to go back to the hotel, you guys go on. I’m really jet lagged.” He does a big noisy stretch; definitely over acting.

“Rest up Namjoon.” Taehyung says patting him on the shoulder.

“What about the car?” He asks.

“You take it. Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.” He replies and Namjoon nods, worry creasing his brow.

“Lovely to see you again, Namjoon. Maybe I’ll see you soon.” I say my goodbye.

“Yes, I hope so. Get home safe.” He smiles, dimples deepening.

“Sure thing.” I wave as I turn to Taehyung, who seems eager to get moving; his eyes wide and glistening. We head off to the main road and hail a cab. Once we’re in I give the driver my address and we set off.

“So where would you like to go tomorrow?” I ask.

He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not well versed in food over here. Is there anywhere you’d recommend?”

One place instantly comes to mind. Could I bring myself to take a date there knowing the embarrassment I would suffer? I thought of Yoshi and his delicious food, I thought of his annoying flirtatious personality and knew his cooking talent would outweigh anything negative about the experience.

“Yea, I know a place.”

He smiles. “OK good. Shall I meet you there or come and pick you up?”

I think about the route from work and it would definitely be quicker for me to go from there. “I’ll send you the address later and meet you there, if that’s OK?”

He nods. “Sure. I...don’t have any way of reaching you though.”

I smirk at his hesitant way of asking for my number. We exchange numbers and before I know it, we’re pulling up outside my apartment all too soon. He asks the driver to wait as he gets out and escorts me up the stone steps.

“Thank you for tonight, I had a really lovely time.” He says into the quiet, his eyes burning into mine.

“So did I, thank you for coming.” I reply slowly, unable to hold his intense gaze for long.

A large part of me was hoping that he’d kiss me but I had to remind myself that this was only a first meeting, could I even call it a date? It felt like a date but we weren’t the only ones on it. A small part of me wanted to invite him inside and see where the night took us but I scowled at that and ignored that part.

“Until tomorrow.” He says as he takes my hand in his and slowly brings it up to his mouth, eyes never once leaving mine. He gently presses his soft lips firmly onto the back of my fingers. My heart hammers in my chest and I have to control my breathing so not to embarrass myself and reveal the effect he has on me.

With that, he turns and he walks back to the cab and climbs in, as I stand there watching until the car is completely out of sight. I could still feel the heat from his lips on my hand, the breeze highlighting the slight wet mark that was left behind. I couldn’t stop the grin plastered on my face as I walk into my apartment, locking up behind me. In a daze, I hang up my coat and bag, taking out my phone and bringing it with me to where I collapse onto the sofa, clutching it to my chest.

I already couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow, the thought of seeing him again bubbled in my stomach. I felt like a silly teenager. It had certainly been a long time since I had felt anything like this for anyone and did not intend for it to pass me by. Who knows how long he was over here for, it was a question I had avoided purposefully, but I planned to make the most of it, however long it may be.

Note: I do not own the photos. Credit: BTS Twitter and visitlondon.com

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owlespresso · 4 years ago

Text

Tremble, Duck and Weave / 4

7,000+ words! I’m proud of myself for going this far. If you like what I do, consider commissioning me or donating to my ko-fi, which can be found here: https://ko-fi.com/owlespresso Thank you to TenkeyLess, Neila_Nuruodo, WickedWiles and Nidvaller on ao3 for beta reading this chapter! I could not have done this without them.

The fresh, frigid air pulls in and out of your weary lungs, a refreshing change from the stifling coziness of Urianger’s abode.

Despite not being accustomed to it, you appreciate the way the cold settles against your skin. It’s a better wake up call than any tea could ever be. Haurchefant shields you from the harshest of the chill; the weight of his arm is a welcome warmth, a reassurance that you are not alone. Whilst you traverse the emptying streets, he takes the time to point out various locations and landmarks.

He chatters like a child eager to show their parents an art project.

“And just over there is the Jeweled Crozier—where you can find anything and everything your heart so desires. It’s also home to an array of restaurants should you grow peckish while on a shopping spree. Emmanellain, my younger brother, idles there often, much to my eldest sibling’s, Artoirel, dismay.” The swell of fondness in his voice is heart-warming. You should have expected someone as delightful and devoted as he to cherish his family like this.

“I look forward to meeting them.” If they’re related to Haurchefant, they must be almost as wonderful as he… and even if they aren’t, you owe them a great debt for sheltering you. If they hadn’t extended that kindness, you would have been forced to fend for yourself, left to hide in whatever decrepit crevice you could find. Still, you can’t help but want to know more. All he’s given you thus far are brief summaries, which, to be fair, is likely all you have time for.

Artoirel must be the responsible type, you assume, from both his position as the eldest brother and his apparent dismay over Emmanelain’s troublemaking. Is he as kind as Haurchefant? Or is he colder, more devout to his responsibilities than he is compassionate?

“They will adore you,” Haurchefant insists all the way up the stone stairs. For as much as Ishgard has gone through, the noble district seems untouched by war. “If Emmanellain gets fresh with you, I apologize on his behalf. As the youngest, he is perhaps… a bit spoiled.”

“The kind of person who doesn’t know how to take ‘no’ for an answer?” You raise an eyebrow. As close as you are to Haurchefant, you know next to nothing about his family or life prior to meeting you. What shaped the man you knew and treasured? What were his parents like? Had he always aspired to be a knight?

“A bright young man with an unfortunate tendency to philander and act recklessly.” Haurchefant clears his throat and corrects you sheepishly, sparing you a smile. “He means well, I assure you.”

The conversation flows slow and steadily as you walk through the fragile veil of the night. Street lamps shed bright light onto the concrete paths. It’s eerie, almost ethereal in comparison to Ul’dah’s bustling nightlife. No vendors, no street performers, no crowds. Simply sheer silence against a dull grey backdrop.

Eventually, you reach Fortemps Manor. It’s a tall, elegant building much like every other you’ve seen. Two armored guards are posted out front, their steel halberds at the ready. They give a low, courteous nod as you pass, opening the doors to reveal the interior of your new home.

The marble floors are so shiny you can see your reflection. A circular bench rests atop an elegant throw rug in the center of the lobby, the middle of the bench decorated with an immense floral display. Embroidered curtains hug either side of the wide windows. You don’t even want to try and gauge the price of even one set; artisan goods like that sell for thousands of gil a pop, far beyond your price range.

“It’s incredible,” you breathe. A warm flame crackles, nestled in a well-stocked fireplace. It extends its warmth graciously to you, thawing you from the dry cold. This is their living room? They get to return to this luxury at the end of every long day? “I’m kind of envious. Even the Rising Stones wasn’t this nice… and we had a bar out front.” Customers would stumble out drunk or worse, and piss in the nearby street after a night of hard drinking.

“Well, there won’t be a need for you to feel that way a moment longer,” he assures you. When you glance up at him, he’s smiling, gaze unmistakably tender. “This is your home now as much as it is mine.”

He’s so utterly devout that you can’t not believe him.

Your home. A place you can always come back to without fear or betrayal. When you were driven from the rank sewers of Ul’dah, you had given up on calling anywhere home. It seemed impossible, malms away, ripped from your bloodied fingers with no warning.

Tears burn at the corners of your eyes, threatening to roll down your cheeks.

“Ser Haurchefant,” a new voice cuts through the air, ripping you from your train of thought. Probably for the better. You’ve cried enough today.

A tall, blond man strides into the living room from one of the branched hallways, clad in gleaming white armor. You’re not sure what grabs your attention the most, the incredible pauldrons which adorn his shoulders or the stripe of pale gold that slopes over his chest plate. Blond hair sweeps to the side, framing his angular face, his stern expression. His vivid white armor’s shape contrasts with the shadows at his back.

“Pardon the intrusion.” He glances from Haurchefant and then to you, recognition brimming in his blue gaze. “Ah. The Warrior of Light. Tis good to see you’ve arrived safe and sound. I am Zephirin de Valhourdin of the Heavens Ward. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” His torso dips in a polite bow, sparing you the slightest of smiles before turning his gaze back to Haurchefant. Hurried, hasty. “Archbishop Aymeric has need for us. I was sent to retrieve you.”

“Can this not wait ‘till morning?” Haurchefant’s tone oozes exasperation in a way you’ve never quite heard before. A glance at his expression reveals a foreign neutrality. His lips are set in a firm line, an eyebrow raised in slight inquiry.

“Once more, I apologize,” Zephirin’s breath leaves him in a sigh. “It will take less than a bell, I’m told.”

“If we must. I expect you to treat me to a fresh tankard of ale tomorrow.” Haurchefant’s lips curl into a mischievous smile. His arm drops back to his side. The warmth he’s cocooned you in is torn away with little preamble. Despite the crackling hearth, you immediately feel a new kind of cold settle over you.

“Right.” Zephirin follows Haurchefant from the room and back out into the cold, leaving you alone. Again. You clutch the Fortemps lordling’s jacket tight to yourself and shut your eyes, feeling exhaustion pull at your weary consciousness.

You haven’t done much but sit around all day, yet you still feel fatigue clutch you close, sinking its devilish claws into your aching muscles. It’s agonizing, to be this tired from doing so little.

Had you not risen to acclaim through slaying gods and monsters, perhaps you would be less bitter about your new weakness, about the time you need to recover. Urianger had asked you to take a moon away from strenuous activity, but you don’t know if your sanity will let you.

The injuries that mercilessly litter your body ensure those responsible for the banquet can roam free and unpunished. That thought makes your blood curdle, the very fabric of your being rearing up and howling refrain at your helplessness, at the unkindness of this reality.

“Oh! Good evening.” Yet another new voice rings out across the spacious living room, rich and soft in quality. Your gaze sweeps in its direction, coming to rest on the tall, slender form of another elezen. Adorned with a thick, elegant alpine coat, the new arrival’s hair is as black as coal. It’s long and wavy, swept beautifully above his forehead to crest over the left side of his face. He’s handsome, sharp facial features and intent gaze unlike the soft gentility you’ve come to know and expect from Haurchefant. “I assume you’re the Warrior of Light?”

“Uhm, yes.” The sudden, unexpected social interaction causes the cogs in your brain to very suddenly knock back into place. To tell the truth, you’re not really sure how to respond here. So you tell him your name, do your best to act naturally, act cool despite being a stranger in a strange land.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” His heels click against the marble floor as he approaches, thin lips curling into a welcoming smile. He’s the perfect picture of a noble gentleman, right down to the eloquent way in which he bows at the waist. “I must thank you for your service. Had you not led our defenses at the Steps of Faith, we likely would have met crushing defeat. It is truly an honor to have you.”

“It’s no problem. I should be thanking you for letting me stay,” You manage a small smile, cheeks growing warm under his unfiltered praise. “I don’t know where I’d be if you hadn’t extended the invitation... speaking of, is Alphinaud here? And Tataru? They came in with me, right?”

“Yes. They arrived with you, in admittedly much better condition. No harm has been done to Alphinaud beyond a few bruises and thoughts fraught with worry. He went to sleep half a bell ago, but I’m sure he will be delighted to see you safe and sound,” the noble replies. “Miss Tataru is completely unscathed, but has opted to head to The Forgotten Knight, a local tavern, to speak with the locals and attempt to gather information on your companions’ whereabouts.”

Your shoulders slump with relief. Had either of them been severely injured or—Hydaelyn forbid—killed, you never would have forgiven yourself. It’s tempting to ask to see Alphinaud now, but you know he needs his rest. Tataru is enough of a grown woman to take care of herself, and you don’t know if you can manage another long walk, so she’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

“Good, thank you again. That’s such a relief. If he had—uh, never mind.” You’re exhausted and emotionally wrung out, but you still have enough good sense to not unload your innermost feelings on a man you’ve just met, on a noble kind enough to shelter you and your allies despite the target painted on your back. “Haurchefant left with, uh—”

“Lord Zephirin? I had assumed so. In the meantime, I can show you to your room. You must be exhausted after the ordeal you’ve been put through,” Artoirel offers, every bit as kind and polite as you expected him to be, given Haurchefant’s unfailing cheerfulness. His expression softens with sympathy. You glance back at the arched double doors leading outside. It feels wrong to head to bed without giving Haurchefant a proper goodnight, but you don’t know when he’ll return. Turning back to Artoirel, you acquiesce to the siren’s call of your fatigue.

Your stomach snarls and immediately you are reminded that Haurchefant whisked you away from Urianger’s humble abode before he had the chance to prepare dinner.

“...Did you miss dinner?” Artoirel inquires and your cheeks flame with warmth.

“I did, but it’s no trouble,” You try to wave it off. You can wait until tomorrow morning to eat. It won’t be the first time you crawled into bed on an empty stomach. “I can wait, really—”

“Nonsense. We ate only a bell ago and the chefs won’t be leaving for another two. Come,” he gives you no room to argue, a hand gracing the small of your back. You jolt at the touch, wide eyes staring up at his handsome profile as he steers you alone. “You can sit in the kitchen whilst you wait—you there!” he calls to a passing servant woman, listing out a small order before continuing to lead you back across the living room. The extravagant furniture vanishes as the structure siphons into a slender hallway that lies in the back.

“Thank you,” It wouldn’t do to argue with him, and you would be a fool to turn down a fresh, hot meal. “So, you’re Haurchefant’s older brother?”

“That I am,” He sends you another smile, leading you into a wide dining room. An oval-shaped table sits in the middle surrounded by eight, elegant chairs resting around it, all positioned with perfect symmetry. A golden chandelier hangs from the ceiling. Several crystals affixed to the ends of its curving, twining arms emit a vibrant, illuminating light.

“I am quite fortunate to have him as a brother. He’s been incredibly dependable since our father stepped down.” A solemn smile graces his lips as he speaks, as though recalling better times long past.

“The count stepped down?” You settle into one of the chairs, allowing your weary muscles to relax into the firm frame.

“Yes, it’s quite common for house leaders to step down as they reach their twilight years, often to prevent reckless decisions due to their old age. Our father fortunately isn’t in that position. He was simply ready to retire and pursue other passions… I shall let him disclose those details himself—”

The next half-bell passes in quiet, mild conversation. It’s simple and surface level in a way that puts you at ease. He pointedly avoids any mention of the banquet or your injuries. It makes you feel coddled the longer you speak, but the food arrives before you get truly miffed at being handled with kid gloves. It’s a delicious dinner, a meal that fills and warms you from the inside. The meat is thick and tender, the vegetables expertly cooked and spiced. You barely manage to not scarf it all down like a monster, reminding yourself that the nobleman who’s so generously sheltering you is sitting mere fulms away.

After dinner, he escorts you to your room. From the dining room, you head back across the lobby and in a hall that branches off the left side. Heading further into the house, you walk up a steep case of stairs and down another wide corridor. Artoirel leaves you in front of a polished wooden door, bidding you a polite farewell alongside an offer to show you the city proper tomorrow. If Haurchefant is busy, you may just take him up on that.

You enter the room and let your back thunk against it, eyes shutting as the day’s events wash over you in their entirety. Your eyes fall shut, the wooden surface cool against the back of your head.

It… it would be a good idea to get some sleep.

Yet, a pair of feminine voices reach you through the door.

“Lord Zephirin was… in his chambers…” As they come closer you guess they’re a pair of maid servants. Over your time of bumping elbows with nobility, you have learned that the help are by far the most knowledgeable when it comes to the inner workings of any noble house. They cook the food, personally serve each member of the family, have access to every room on the property.

They most definitely have access to a wealth of knowledge about House Fortemps and all its occupants.

“I could hear them, plain as day! You’d think someone so high ranking would attempt to keep their affairs quieter…”

“Be quiet!” a second voice hisses. “Imagine what they’d do to you if they heard you gossiping so!”

“Well, they should at least keep it down. Imagine how I felt, having to hear them carrying on while cleaning ser Artoirel’s study!” the first voice acquiesces into a quieter grumble.

“I’m sure they don’t really give a damn about our comfort.” You can practically hear the second woman roll her eyes.

“Ser Haurchefant should at least care about his good House’s reputation! Think, if the court heard he was gallivanting around with—”

Their voices lapse into quiet little grousing until you can no longer hear them, which is probably for the best. You already have enough to think about to keep you up at night. It’s likely nothing more than idle gossip, you tell yourself. But then again, what reason would they have to lie?

You sigh, shoving the matter to the furthest reaches of your mind.

You lay Haurchefant’s jacket across a luxurious, cushioned arm chair facing an elegant coffee table. You nearly stumble out of your trousers and rip your shirt in haste, clambering over to the tall wardrobe. It sits proudly next to a dresser-vanity combination.

This is nicer than any room you’ve ever stayed in, you realize, from the lush weave of the throw carpet to the very grain of the wooden furniture.

A decadent robe rests on a silver hanger inside the wardrobe, just as nice as the one Urianger lent you earlier. It chases the cold from your weary muscles as you tumble onto the bed, ignoring the pain that jostles your entire body upon impact. You barely have enough energy to burrow underneath the bundled blankets, much less decipher anything you just heard.

The best thing you can do for yourself is fall asleep and get some rest. So, you toss and turn among the sea of blankets, until you descend into the velvety embrace of sleep.

- - -

Lantern light spreads over the concrete in spaced out lines as the knights traverse the holy steps. They venture towards the apex of the Holy See, yet Haurchefant’s thoughts cannot be further from the man who requires their presence. Archbishop Aymeric is a man he’s spoken with countless times, who he’s gotten to know in a shockingly intimate way. A bond old, yet pale in comparison to what he feels for you.

His thoughts return to you constantly, a grandiose girandole of scenarios in which he gets to know you deeply and intimately. He cannot help but recall how his jacket dwarved your precious form, could only imagine the sweet curves and planes of your body, the sanguine siren call of your raw fragility threatening to drive him from his good senses.

Never had he wished to see you under such duress, yet the helpless gaze you leveled him with whilst caged in Urianger’s abode still sent thrill after thrill down his spine. It haunted him to this very moment.

“I anticipated her to at the very least be an Elezen.” Zephirin’s baleful grousing disguises itself as a genuinely thoughtful statement, his tone shockingly level. His voice interrupts Haurchefant’s musings, ripping through the pristine portrait memory crafted of your image.

Ah, is that… envy in his fellow commander’s voice? How unseemly for someone held in such high regard by the general populace! Haurchefant isn’t sure whether to be flattered or mildly aggravated. so he settles for ignoring the other. He barely spares the other man a glance as they come to stand before Ishgard’s mightiest cathedral, lit tall by ever-burning touches, stone smothered by flamelight.

“I don’t see how species matters in this situation,” He raises an eyebrow steeply, making sure to emphasize his skepticism, for shame is a powerful tool and socking Zephirin in the face would surely cause a stir. “Especially when she seamlessly led our defenses in order to protect the Steps of Faith.”

Zephirin has been a good friend to him, but he will not stand to hear your grand name slandered even the slightest bit. The man at his side has rested upon his silken sheets in nights past, but even that treasured intimacy pales in comparison to his unadulterated passion.

He will not have Zephirin sow seeds of doubt and discontent in regards to you. Not when you are soft with injury and so perfectly pliable to him, not when you are finally within arm’s reach.

“‘Twas not my intent to offend you.” Zephirin makes the wise decision to rein himself in, a stiffness in his voice that speaks to unpreparedness for Haurchefant’s push back. It makes sense. Never has Haurchefant dared to be so stern with any of his fellow Heavens’ Ward. Not when he was so young and green, so recently inducted into its vaunted ranks. “The Warrior of Light has my utmost respect. I think it’s simply… novel that you’ve chosen to fawn over someone so decidedly different than anyone in Ishgard.”

Statues frame either side of the grand hall they enter, heroes memorialized in carefully crafted effigies that watch in silence as they traverse the stairs. The sound of Zephirin’s gleaming platemail clanging echoes up and down the hollowed corridor, somehow making it feel emptier.

“Then again, you have made a habit of walking to the beat of your own drum,” Zephirin continues knowingly, pensive, observant rather than judgmental.

“The Holy See will always have my sword at their service and my undying loyalty, but the people of our fine city have a habit of stubbornly clinging to useless tradition. It would be narrow-minded of me to limit my romantic interests by species.” Haurchefant shrugs as they reach the top of the staircase, continuing down the hallowed halls. The distinct lack of moonlight makes the halls seem older and dingier than usual.

“I apologize if I offended you,” Zephirin says. “I have your best interests at heart when I advise you keep some of your more outlandish beliefs close to your chest. You know how the nobility likes to gossip.”

Hah! Haurchefant barely stops himself from barking a laugh, both from disbelief and genuine amusement. To think, the bastard child of the Fortemps has gained the favor of the Heavens’ Ward’s most vaunted! Distantly, he wonders how his fool of a step-mother would react. To think, both children born in wedlock would be passed up in favor of him, the reminder that her husband had strayed!

“The nobility cannot rob me of the position I have worked endlessly for. Let them gossip.” Haurchefant brushes off the other man’s warning with an unintended note of disdain in his voice, left over from the memory of the witch his father once called a wife.

He blinks a moment later. Ah. Being rude to Zephirin certainly isn’t in his best interests. Best mend any potential rift between them before it even forms.

“My apologies. The hour is late and the day’s fatigue is getting the better of me,” he says, voice softening at the edges like the sweetened edge of an apple pastry. His gaze is honey, his expression tender as he smiles in his fellow’s direction. “I appreciate your concern, ser Zephirin. It is truly an honor to serve at your side.”

“It’s no trouble. However, it would be in your best interests to make sure you don’t allow your tongue to slip in the archbishop’s presence.” His fellow Heavens’ Ward acquiesces, likely deciding the conversation not worth continuing.

“Duly noted.” Haurchefant idly assures him, gaze drawn out one of the steep windows, towards the moonless sky. Silence settles between the both of them, the empty space filled only by the sharp sound of Zephirin’s greaves against the marble tile.

- - -

“Full glad am I to see you in one piece,” is the first thing Alphinaud says to you as you wrap your arms tight around him. You ignore the way your wounds ache and groan in protest, because oh god, you’re so utterly relieved to see him alive and safe—the admittedly bratty child whose tailed you so long, through a seemingly endless cycle of hardships.

Knowing he was more or less alright was comforting; actually seeing him put all your worries at rest.

“Thank the gods you’re alright.” You press your cheek to his temple and give him another loving squeeze. He gasps and jolts under the sudden pressure, noises devolving to a delighted, nervous little giggle. Hesitant fingers curl in the dense fabric of your robe. He’s so warm, so soft and alive. He’s one of the two people you have left in this cold world and you’re not going to let him anywhere near potential danger anytime soon.

“After all that happened, you’re concerned for my well-being?” he inquires incredulously. He shakes his head, but cannot hide his weary, fond smile as he steps back. He looks you up and down, gaze softening with sympathy as he looks you up and down. The smile he adorns turns into a guilt-ridden frown. “I must apologize. What happened with the Crystal Braves was utterly and completely my fault. I should have—”

He cuts himself off as a line of servants flows into the kitchen. The light from the chandelier glints off the extravagant, silver platters they carry.

Fresh steam rolls off the mounds of food as they set each one down, arranging them artfully down the long table’s center.

“You don’t have to apologize,” you reassure him over the sound of silverware and fine porcelain and hushed chattering. “It’s not your fault. You’re too young to be leading any kind of organization and Minfilia should have known that.”

“I should have known that. It’s because of my recklessness that—” His voice cracks with his agony and you once more reach for him, grasping him his hand warm and tight, attempting to convey all the love and passion and forgiveness you can manage with a simple, physical gesture.

Are you disappointed in him? Had such terrible tragedy not stolen your friends from you, perhaps you would have been. But all you can feel right now is overwhelming relief.

“There’s no way you could have known, Alphinaud. Because you’re young and no amount of education could have changed what happened.” Your voice is hurried and rushed and desperate, more of a plea than a statement. “Happened. Because it’s in the past, and we can’t go back and fix it. All we can do is go on and grow from this. It’s not your fault, Alphinaud. Please believe me.”

He’s just a boy. Despite his past arrogance, he didn’t deserve to be humbled like this. He’s not even eighteen and he’s already been exposed to the horrors of war, already had some of his closest friends stolen from him in a single night.

He’s just a boy. A boy with no home, no present parents, and no more political power. Just a boy, but most importantly, he is now your boy.

“I...” he gives a small, sputtering laugh, a hand coming up to wipe away a spare teardrop. “When you insist with such ardent passion, I cannot help but want to believe you. In any case, you’re right. Wallowing in my own self-pity will get us nowhere… and it will not bring anyone back,” he ended with a soft sigh, staring blankly at a plate stacked high with pancakes and fruits. “It wouldn’t do for our new allies to see me in such a crestfallen state.”

“You’re allowed to cry and grieve.” Your expression softens. You press your hand gently to his shoulder. “You just have to know it isn’t your fault.”

You’re not entirely sure if he believes you, but you aren’t given any time to reassure him further. Artoirel strolls in with two other men, who are introduced to you as former Count Edmont Fortemps and Emmanellain.

To make a good impression, you’re forced to shove your Alphinaud-related worries to the back of your mind. After a pleasant breakfast, Haurchefant at last makes his return, sweeping you into one of the more private lounges whilst Alphinaud opts to head to the study at Artoirel’s side, hoping to learn more about Ishgard’s political climate and resources he can use to locate the Scions.

“Good morning, my lady,” Haurchefant openly fawns, mischief gleaming like flint and steel in his eyes. “I hope you had a good rest, last night? I specifically made sure they gave you the softest mattress we have to offer!”

His shameless affection makes your cheeks grow warm. No matter how much time you spend with him, his unabashed affection never fails to astonish you.

He sits next to you, his side pressed right up against your own.

“I slept fine,” you assure, promptly ignoring the gossip you overheard last night. Even if what the maids said happens to be true, it’s none of your business, despite how curious you are.

Prior to all this recent chaos, you dismissed his affection as mere friendliness, denied the idea that he could be romantically interested in you, someone so constantly occupied with your work.

He merely supports the Scions and their mission statement, you had attempted to reason.

I don’t have time for romance, you convinced yourself. Before you knew it, you had crafted excuse after excuse, each one growing more elaborate in nature.

“You spoil me too much, really. You haven’t eaten breakfast and here you are, asking after me.” You try to sound indignant, despite the way your heart thrums so wildly in your chest.

“I’ll have you know I purchased one fine bowl of stew from a trustworthy vendor on my way home! Though, I am touched by your concern. It’s simply riveting to know you keep me so close in your thoughts.” He sends you an impish grin, the weight of his hand warm on your shoulder. “Forgive me, though.” His voice dips into something genuinely solemn, gaze shifting downcast with sudden guilt. “T’was my intent to dine with you this morning. However, the archbishop required my services and it is not my place to deny His Holiness.”

“Don’t apologize.” You level him with an incredulous stare. Are all Ishgardians prone to such melodrama? With how deeply he pouted, any passerby could easily assume his mother had just passed. “You had work. It’s not a big deal. I just wanted to make sure you had something to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know.”

“Ahh, how could I forget!” He seems to ignore your reassurances, hanging his head low. “Allow me to make up for this transgression by taking you to the Jeweled Cozier. Surely a veritable sea of gifts, including the realm’s finest garments, would be an acceptable appeasement?” he drawls, his charitable intent near knocking you flat.

“Haurchefant, that’s so sweet, but I couldn’t possibly—”

“You arrived in our fine city with naught but the clothes on your back, correct?” He cuts you off in a way that makes your ears burn hot. Your gaze dives to the floor, unable to look him in the eyes.

He’s not wrong, but did he really have to bring that up?

“Yes, but—”

“And—pardon my well-intentioned assumption—would you say you have not a single possession to your name?” His gloved fingers find your chin and delicately coax your face upwards, the sudden gesture shocking you still. After a moment of attempting to gather your frayed nerves, you swallow and nod.

That quaint, smug smile widens.

“Then allow me to treat you. Please. Hardly ever do I spend my coin, and my pockets are so heavy that they encumber my every move. It would be a delight, nay, a relief to spend some on you.” His dramatics practically fill the room, and you’re suddenly grateful as he releases your chin… only to slide off the couch and onto his knees. He clasps his hands together, fingers intertwining, head dipping to mimic prayer.

“Stop!” You raise your hands to push at his clenched fists, protesting before he can wax any more flowery poetic. “I get it! I get it! We can go shopping together!”

“Ah! There’s that brilliant common sense you are so well-known for!” His smile turns a touch smug as you acquiesce, pushing himself to his feet. “Wonderful, simply wonderful. I’ll go get you a coat. We don’t have many, so you’ll have to settle for one of mine.”

With that, he scurries off, asking you to stay put whilst he retrieves it for you.

It’s plush and fur-lined, multiple sizes too large for you. It buries you, coated in his soft scent, cocoa and faint spice, a familiar comfort in a strange, new city.

The Jeweled Crozier wasn’t a market filled with glitz and glamour as much as a series of shops, restaurants and vendor stalls among the sea of grey stonework. It’s the most you’ve seen of the lower and upper class mingling. It’s elezen as far as you can see, dotted with the occasional hyur. Despite being clothed in Ishgardian garb, you stick out like a sore thumb—and those in the crowd have no problem with making you really feel it.

Countless gazes glue to you, making your ears hot with shame. You’re out of place, away from every home you’ve ever known.

“Pay them no mind.” Haurchefant breaks you from your train of thought, sparing you a kind smile. “Hardly ever do outsiders venture inside the city walls. They’re just curious.”

And ignore them you eventually do, once Haurchefant tugs you inside a spacious store. It becomes impossible to think about the public’s general public opinion of you when you’re face-to-face with racks of fine garments, overwhelming you instantly. Where are you supposed to start? You desperately look over the blouses and skirts and pants and dresses, suddenly losing the mental checklist you had come up with.

“I’ll apologize now for taking too long,” you say with a nervous chortle. “I’m not really sure where to start.”

“Allow me, then. Surely with our powers combined, we can assemble you a new wardrobe—aha! What about this one? The color suits you.” He plucks a fresh blouse from one of the high racks, holding it up next to you.

Much of the next hour passes similarly. You roam the aisles with your devout “helper” in tow. He plucks garment after garment—

“As much as I love it, I don’t think wearing a skirt that short is a good idea—”

—from the aisles—

“Haurchefant, I am not looking for swimwear.”

—And shelves. Some are genuinely helpful, while others…

“I am not shopping for lingerie today!” You finally lose your temper and scold him.

“Ah, so you will one day?” He falls into step next to you, your chosen garments rested across his arms. He refused to let you carry them yourself. “You must let me accompany you when the time comes ‘round. I know the most delightful boutique—”

“Please, just focus on what we’re doing now!” You rub your temples wearily and use it as an excuse to not look at him, taking the moment to try and cool down. Your cheeks are much too hot underneath his unyielding, devoted attention. Aren’t Ishgardians supposed to be rigid and uptight? You’ve long known about Haurchefant’s more… affectionate tendencies, but never can you pretend to be immune to them.

“As my lovely lady wishes.” He heaves out a dramatic sigh and keeps his teasing to a minimum, resigned to his status as a practical coat rack. After grabbing a new bunch of socks, he accompanies you to the counter, stunning you with the absolutely swollen wallet he brings out.

He makes no attempt to be subtle about his wealth as he ferries you from store-to-store, purchasing everything from necessities like new shampoo to frivolous luxury candles and rose petal pastries.

“You really have money to burn, don’t you?” You eye the crepe he’s shoved into your hand incredulously, the pastry wrapping covered in sugar crystals and cinnamon, stacked high with fruits and cream.

“A man of my position and status would never lie about something so important,” he says with humorous firmness.

“I thought you might have been exaggerating.” You lean forward to take a heaping bite of the pastry. It’s just as rich and delicious as you expected.

“Me? Exaggerate? Impossible,” he declares.

The bags nestled in the crook of his arm bump against each other with each long step. It’s somewhat easier to ignore the prodding gazes of nosy passerby whilst locked in conversation with him.

“If you say so,” you shrug with a small smile, not bothering to bring up his tendency for ridiculous dramatics.

You’re barely given another moment to savor another bite of your pastry before your leg suddenly locks, the jostle of the sore muscle forcing a pained little cry from your chapped lips. Fuck, fuck! It was clear one of your wounds doesn’t agree with how much walking you’ve been doing.

“What’s wrong!?” Haurchefant is looming over you in an instant, concern clear as day in his deep, blue eyes. One of his hands finds your shoulder, the other arm wrapping around your back to pull you close, away from the Crozier’s foot traffic. “What’s troubling you, my friend?”

“Just one of the cuts on my leg, I think,” you admit with a small sigh, before shooting him a reassuring smile. “It’s nothing. Really.” Weak, you realize. You’re still weak. The pain brewing in your body suddenly renews the heavy grief settled in your heart. You’re weak, too weak to even enjoy a shopping trip with one of your best friends.

“Perhaps it’s best we head home for the time being. I think our trip was quite successful!” He lightly shook a few of the bags on his arm as if to emphasize his point.

“I’m fine,” you insist, lips curling in the beginnings of a soft frown. Perhaps it would be best to retire to the manor and get some rest, but… “We can keep shopping. You wanted to pick up some groceries, didn’t you?”

“That can wait, I assure you.” Haurchefant’s expression curls to match your own, mirroring your displeasure with a touch of worry. He doesn’t relinquish his grasp on you, lest you topple over the moment he let go. While you appreciate the concern, you can’t help but feel deep frustration boiling underneath your heated skin. “Urianger prescribed you the best painkillers Ishgard has to offer and extensive bedrest until you’re well on your way to being fully recovered.”

“I’ve been bed-resting for the past day and all this morning. I can last a trip to the grocery store,” you insist, voice growing more fervent. You may be injured, sure, but you’re also an adult who can make your own decisions!

He says your name as an exasperated inhale, a hand perched on his hip.

“My dearest friend, I understand your pain and your frustration, but the more you rest, the faster you’ll recover.” Haurchefant’s voice slows and softens, any potential exasperation brewing on his expression melting away into the tranquil joy you’ve come to associate him with. “Please. Even if you insist that you’ll be fine, come home with me and rest for the sake of my own sanity. It worries me when you push yourself. Long have I been forced to watch you plow onto the battlefield, thrown against opponents no other mortal can face only for you to return injured.”

A sudden gust of wind wails through the area, slipping between the streets and alleyways to reach you. Yet, you hardly feel its effects, shielded by his steep body.

“When you came back from your victory against Shiva, I was so relieved… but also regretful. Regretful that I could not be by your side and help you.” The sudden onslaught of genuine tenderness completely throws you off your train of thought. The rage you feel dissolves in a near instant. A single, gloved hand comes to rest against your cheek, gaze impossibly tender.

He’s right. You know this. The more you rest, the fast you’ll recover. No matter how upset you are now, you can’t be illogical if you want to return to full health as quickly as possible.

“...Okay. Alright.” You shut your eyes and suck in a deep breath, reaching a hand up to pinch the bridge of your nose, attempting to soothe an upcoming headache. “Let’s go back.”

“Let’s go home,” Haurchefant corrects gently. His eyelids dip low, his smile sanguine and delighted at your easy compliance. His hold on you adjusts, an arm steady around your shoulder. By now, it felt natural to be attached at the hip to him, held close to his side. Close enough to feel his body warmth.

It does wonder to soothe your mental and physical aches. He continues to speak in quiet, gentle tones as he escorts you back to the manor, sheltering you from the frosty, curious gazes of the Ishgardian passerby. He smells nice, his clothes interwoven with the rich scent of mocha and freshly cleaned linen. It’s a familiarity you’re able to cling to and bury yourself in, a deep-seated comfort you can’t place a name to until you’re at the manor doors.

He smells like home.

- - -

The veil of night settles over his skin like a soothing balm.

This is the time of day where Estinien feels most at ease. It is the blessed dark that shrouded his draconic features, gave him more cover should the glamor that shielded him from prying eyes begin to falter.

It keeps him tucked away, as he pries open the one window Urianger leaves unlocked for him.

The building’s interior does precious little to shield him from the cold. The small orbs of light that float freely around the room don’t carry any warmth with them.

No matter. He’s long grown used to the cold.

His greaves land heavy on the wooden floor. The boards creak underneath his each step as he makes his way to the door, sliding into the hall. He picks up on the book man’s scent within a mere few seconds, old books and rich spice.

He makes his way down the narrow hallway, retracing a path long grown familiar to him.

It’s a new smell that causes him to pause and divert from his chosen path, grasping one of the doorknobs to tug it open. Blood, he realizes, blood and a familiar, rich scent that is uniquely yours.

The globes of light, when combined with his enhanced vision, allow him to see as if it were day. His gaze falls upon a tousled bathrobe. He knows that bathrobe is too large for you. It is Urianger’s, yet you cling to it, yet—

Ah. He understands now.

He exits and shuts the door, continuing towards his intended destination.

A ray of gentle, warm light slips through a crack in one of the doors. He curls his armored fingers around the door to pull it open.

Urianger is hunched over his humorously large desk, long fingers wrapped around a long quill. He glances up, amber gaze softening at the sight of him.

Estinien doesn’t like it. Doesn’t like the sympathy he is so freely afforded by this man. He is not a creature to be pitied.

“Good evening, my friend. ‘Tis good to see thee.” Urianger rests his quill and stands, looking him over.

“Likewise,” Estinien grunts, more out of obligation than anything.

“I imagine thou hast come with the intention of brevity in mind, as per usual.” Urianger wanders away from his desk and towards the door, towards Estinien.

Estinien steels himself at the approach, smothers the cacophony of singing, screaming voices that claws and rises at the back of his mind. Sparks of pain dance down his spine and he exhales, firm and long. He listens to the sound of Urianger’s footsteps across the floorboards, allows the noise to ground him.

“You had a guest,” he says as the man passes him. He practically feels Urianger stiffen beside him, the tendons and muscles tightening rigidly. The broad set of his shoulders grows stonelike with newfound tension, and Estinien can instantly tell he has hit a nerve.

“I did. The Warrior of Light wast dropped into my waiting lap yestermorn. I was gifted with the pleasure of treating her,” Urianger informs him.

“...Did you do more than treat her?” Estinien inquires. He knows this is not his business, knows he has no place prying into these affairs. But the sight of the astrologian hunched over your bloodied, battered form has been ingrained into the fine corners of his memory. It settles uneasily in his stomach.

“Of course not. My duties laid in administering care and that alone. Art thou casting doubt upon my good intentions?” The astrologian assured and inquired with an arch of his elegant brow.

Ah. There are the melodramatics he’s come to know and expect.

“Of course not,” Estinien parrots, deadpan. “I was simply curious about why her scent clings so deeply to the robe in one of your guest rooms.”

“Thou… wandered into one of my guest quarters?” Urianger looks to him with a vaguely betrayed expression. His eyes have widened, blinking several times as though he cannot believe what Estinien just admitted.

“Her scent saturates the entire house, Urianger.” Estinien shrugs. “It is merely strongest in one of the guest bedrooms.”

“So in an attempt to satisfy thy curiosity, thou intruded—” His voice is getting faster, more agitated. Seldom does Estinien ever see or hear the bookman lose his temper, but he is coming dangerously close.

“Wasn’t it you who assured me that your home is my home? Or are you attempting to retract that claim?” Estinien raises an eyebrow. “Regardless, if it makes you uncomfortable to disclose such information, I shalln’t pry.”

“That would be best. As much as I appreciate thy companionship, I would enjoy it if thou did not pry into my personal affairs.” The tension did not dissipate from Urianger’s posture or his tone, but Estinien could feel him beginning to loosen up. Interesting.

Someone who did not know Urianger as well as he might not even be able to tell how nervous he was. But hardly did anything escape Estinien. Not when his nose was so sharp, not when his ears were so open, not when his carnal instinct was akin to a flail and a mace.

Still, he lays underneath Urianger’s capable hands, receives hundreds of small needles pried into his aching muscles and head. Never would he have discovered how acupuncture benefits the symptoms of his condition without Urianger. For that, he will always be grateful.

He savors the gentle draw of Urianger’s fingertips across his shoulders and back and sides. Small strokes and touches that make stars dance behind his eyelids as he melts.

For an hour, he is not the Azure Dragoon. He is not the foolish child who fell into temptation and stole the Eye for himself. He is a mere elezen, a humble creature allowed through Eden’s gates.

When the treatment is done, he indulges in the way Urianger helps him off the table with a hand. His solitude has made him appreciate even the slightest of contact. He allows himself to drink in the feeling of humanity and compassion for a meager few moments, before his hand falls back to his side.

When he climbs out the window, he is a beast once again, seeing, smelling and hearing what he should never be privy to.

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #haurchefant #estinien #artoirel #haurchefant greystone #estinien wyrmblood #urianger #urianger augurelt

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spacegirlinorbit · 5 years ago

Text

Fooling You? Series

Fooling You? Chapter 4: For when two are gone the third will speak

Warnings: swearing

Taglist: @treestarrrrrrrr

Fooling you Masterlist

A/N: so I changed Marlene’s story a little in this story to her transferring to hogwarts the summer before her 5th year not six for something later on in the story. Also for the sake of the story and something that will appear more important later we are going to assume that Grindelwald’s patronus is a phoenix like Dumbledore.

(All rights to HP universe belong to JK Rowling)

I do not own the gifs (found edit on google)

Song: A Sweeter Place by Selena Gomez ft. Kid Cudi

Chapter 4: For when two are gone the third will speak

———————————————————————

“Sorry about Marlene. She’s usually worked up after Quidditch practice.” Says Dorcas.

“Oh that’s okay.” I get out before Lily who also steps in to diffuse the tension Marlene left in her wake.

“She’s going through some stuff as well, but she also transferred here last summer so she knows what its like to be in your position. She was excited to hear we were getting a new roommate.”

“Oh, that’s a bit of relief.”

“Yeah, should we head down to the common room? Maybe meet some of the students?” Lily suggests.

“Um would it be alright if I just rest for a minute?” I ask feeling slightly tired and uncomfortable at my new dynamic in life.

“Oh sure! Why don’t we, Dorcas, go get snacks and drinks and we can hang out here for the night?” Lily suggest to me and Dorcas.

“Sounds good to me, thank you Lily.” I reply. She seems nice enough maybe I won’t have to convince too hard on my story.

“Of course.” Lily smiles.

“We want you to feel welcome. I’m sure its all a lot to take in right now.” Dorcas chimes in with a smile. I return her smile and Lily and Dorcas leave. I sit on my bed and lie back as I put my arm over my eyes.

“Hey, you’re the new roommate right?” I hear the door squeak open and sit up to see Marlene drying her hair in a towel with her fluffy bathrobe on.

“Yes. I’m y/n.”

“Marlene. Nice to meet you. Sorry about earlier quidditch takes out the worst in me sometimes. It’s those slimy Slytherins.” Marlene explains.

“Oh, well I, um, might I ask what is quidditch?” I stammer.

“Darling you don’t know what quidditch is?”

“..no...” I say nervously. Am I supposed to just know this?

“Well, darling,” she starts and has a seat next to me. “It’s a vigorous sport that is kind of like lacrosse but on broomsticks and there’s this special ball called the golden snitch to which if the seeker catches it earns the team 150 points and therefore wins the game.” She rambles on. I’m still slightly confused at the explanation and she must see it on my face because she says next, “You’ll understand once you see it in person.”

“What else does Hogwarts have?” I ask.

“Well besides the one sport and the triwizard cup, the school works on a point system by the houses. Did Dumbledore explain any of this?” She asks.

“Not a thing.” I reply with a sigh.

“Oh hey it’s okay. I was new too and it’s a weird adjustment but you got the best roommates and just wait til you meet the boys.” She says getting up at the end with a big smile on her face. She gets her clothes and heads to the bathroom but leaves the door slightly cracked to keep talking to me.

“They are just the craziest motherfuckers you’ll ever meet here. Troublemakers they are, but nonetheless the best Hogwarts has to offer. Don’t even get me started on how they look! All of them are handsome in their own way. Oh but stay away from-“ she cuts short as we both hear the room door open. I sit up from the bed on my elbows to see Lily and Dorcas come in.

“Lily Fire is that you?” Marlene calls.

“Yes.” Lily replies and smiles at me. Dorcas comes over with a drinks in hand and lets me choose what I want. I go for a grape soda and thank her.

“I was just about to tell our new roomie about the boys!” She calls a bit louder as she turns on the blow dryer.

“Oh.” Lily looks over at me. “What did she say?”

“Handsome troublemakers.” I breathe after taking a sip of my drink.

Lily chuckles at this and nods agreeing with the statement. “That they are. Maybe you’ll meet them tomorrow.”

“Isn’t there a-” Dorcas tries to say, but Marlene quickly and loudly chimes in as she exits the bathroom, “PARTY!”

“Oh! You came just in time for the party!” Marlene squeals out while the bottle cap makes a ‘pop’ as she opens it. That I did. I wonder if I can get my hands on that sweet drug again here, probably best I don’t since I was left passed out for a day… I think.

“Do you like parties?” Dorcas asks me drawing me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah. Parties are like my sweeter place.”

“HAhaha oh I like you.” Marlene laughs out.

“We should take you to hogsmeade tomorrow with us to gather some supplies for the party and not to mention your school things as well.” Lily suggests.

“Sounds great. I am low on ink and paper.”

“Excellent. I’ll wake you tomorrow then.”

“Sure.” I replied with a smile.

“We ought to get new party clothes. I’m tired of my old ones.” Dorcas whines.

“Good thinking Dorcas! You guys get the supplies and me and Dorcas will get us party outfits.” Marlene shares.

“Oh that’s okay I don’t-”

“Don’t you dare say you don’t need any, because you can never have enough party clothes.” Marlene points an accusing finger at me. I decide to not challenge it and let her be in her bliss. They really are a cool group of friends. I look at Lily who is laughing at Marlene who exaggerates how she’s going to make us all look hot and Dorcas tries to hide her giggling. I think we’ll get along fine. I hope that we can. I would hate to be alone in my last two years of school since after I graduate I will be all alone.

I finally feel like I can flourish here and be a little more honest. I am so close to home now and I can feel the darkness in me wanting to seep out. I have to be careful around here for the next couple weeks until I can find a place to keep up my practice in the dark arts. I saw a woods right outside of school. I could go there. It's called the forbidden forest right? So I shouldn’t have to worry about being spotted.

We all talk amongst each other, and they mostly ask if I'm comfortable. I appreciate their concern and hope I can adjust quickly to the change. Soon time flies by and its shortly past midnight. We all get ready for bed and I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and change quickly while I'm in there. I take a look at my right hip side and there my tattoo lays in all its glory. A phoenix representing my patronus. How odd that me, Grindelwald, and Dumbledore all share the same patronus. Fate must know something I don’t.

I head to bed saying my goodnight to the others and let the covers envelop me softly and I quickly draw my eyes close and sleep overtakes me.

Marauders POV

“Y/n.” Lily calls softly after a few minutes y/n goes to bed.

“Y/n!” Marlene calls out a bit louder and lily quickly shoots her a glare and a shush.

“What? You were never going to find out if you whispered it.” She shrugs. Lily shakes her and gets out of bed putting on her slippers.

“Let’s just go.” She whispers into the dark and the other girls shuffle out of bed quietly as they put on their slippers and robes to leave the bedroom.

They descend the stairs from their dorm quietly and quickly to meet the others in the common room. There they were in all their disastrous glory. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. James sat on the couch as Remus sat on the armchair of the couch on the other side. Sirius stood by the fireplace that is ablaze warming the room nicely while having a smoke. Peter sat on the floor hugging his knees near the fireplace.

“Well hello ladies. Glad you could join us.” James announced making all the other boys turn their attention to them.

“Let’s make this quick then.” Lily strikes back. James can’t help but smirk at her snarkiness. Lily and Dorcas both take a seat on the couch and Marlene pushes her way past Sirius to get to the chair across the room. You could say a cold lightning bolt struck between them leaving the room with a bit a tension no one asked for but got anyway.

James commences the meeting. “Dumbledore sends his regards for not being able to host our meeting tonight seeing as he matters to attend to regarding our new student. He would like a report from you ladies soon about her behavior and what she tells you.”

“Of course.” Lily reassured.

“Have you guys managed to find anything?” Remus questions.

“No. She barely had anything with her when she came to hogwarts. Just some clothes and books. There is a picture of her and her mom. Nothing suspicious though. We already know about that.” Lily answered.

“She does like parties though.” Marlene speaks up. “We are actually taking her out to Hogsmeade tomorrow.”

“You’re what?” Sirius perks up at this.

“Open your ears, black.” Marlene spits out with a roll of her eyes.

“You don’t even know her.” He comments. He holds a deadly cold stare towards Marlene who pretends to not notice his existence.

“That’s why we are taking her, dumbass. It’s our mission to get to know her and trying to do that by cooping her up in the room is not going to help.” Marlene claimed as she now returned his stare with a cold one of her own. Hell could freeze over with the look they are giving each other now.

“She’s right, Sirius.” Lily starts. “Taking her to Hogsmeade can get her to trust us and she needs supplies.” Marlene gets a ‘hmph’ in triumph as Lily finishes. Black sighs and looks towards James. James shrugs knowing they are right.

“Maybe we should go with you guys?” Sirius suggest.

“Ugh no we don’t need you guys. We are going girl shopping.”

“Like i care about your shopping spree, but we could hang in the back.” Sirius and Marlene start to argue and as they go back and forth on the distaste for each other everyone else is already sighing and tryng to block out of the two, but they keep getting louder and louder and Lily just snaps, “ENOUGH!”

“Me and the girls can handle y/n. You guys need to set up the party or did you forget?”

“How can you say that? We know she’s powerful and don't forget who got you the entail on her. If they want her, who's to say they won’t come after her there? Who is to say she isn’t already in contact with them and it’s a trap? She could hurt you guys.” Black responds in a single breath of all the things that could be wrong with the situation.

“Sirius, we appreciate your concern.” Lily speaks. Marlene scoffs at this. “But we can handle whatever comes. We are strong together and if she is as powerful as you think who is to say she isn't just as perceptive. She could catch on to the four boys who are following us around a small market area. If something is wrong we will call for you guys.” Dorcas nods in agreement which reassures Remus who finds himself nodding a little as well and then quickly stops with a slight blush realizing what he was doing.

“That’s my girl.” James boasts and Lily hits him on the shoulder. “Not your girl.”

“I don’t like it, but fine. Goodnight everyone, except Muddy.” Sirius says using the ugly nickname towards Marlene who sticks her tongue out towards him as he throws his cigarette in the fire and walks towards the descending stairs to the boys dorm.

Everyone says their goodnight to each other and walk away to their respective dorms. Little does y/n know about the meeting that took place as she has a vivid dream where she sees Grindelwald in his small cell.

“Gell.” She whispers in her sleep before the others enter and fall asleep as well unbeknownst to her dream and her of their secret meeting.

#young sirius black x reader #fooling you? sirius black fanfic #marauders au #marauders x reader #sirius x reader fanfic #sirius black x reader #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #hogwarts fanficton #grindelwald x reader #dumbledore x grindelwald

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magicalgirlpropaganda · 3 years ago

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Things that are hot and sexy (because i do them)

• being unable to cite sources no matter how long you spend on it or how long you try

• getting a boost of motivation to work but on the wrong thing

• actually don't mind doing school work and have a thirst for knowledge but hate failure and not having time to finish assignments

• "wow i can't believe i finished all my assignments for the week! So fast. I have time to study and actually perfect my work and get better grades" *gets more assignments* *cries*

• i can't meet my own high standards

• being so stressed because of mom that i have horrible mood swings and im in a constant state of rage and anxiety

• being relieved when my friends invite me to do things because then i see it as an obligation and im "forced" to go (even though they'd understand if i said no, i see it as an obligation for my own mental wellbeing)

• wanting desperately to help others but struggling to even take care of yourself

• i can do the work, i can handle the workload. But i can't handle the pressure of my mom checking my grades

• i know that I'm smart and i know that I can do it. Ive been working so hard and my work is paying off but i need my mom to trust me

• overeating due to stress and went on an etsy shopping spree. Had to force myself to stop "stress buying" stuff and "stress eating"

• my dumb little passion project went on hiatus because im busy. Which is fine but a bit dissapointing

• i love it here. I don't want to leave. I love the art program. The work is a lot but i love my classes and my friends and my life here. What if one day something horrible happens and i have to leave because its too expensive?

• everything in my life is going good but my mom stresses me out so much that it's no longer going good

• I'm sorry for being incompetent... Even on my medicine. I am much better off than before and i can actually think but. I can't focus and i often miss intructions on assignments unless i write down absolutely everything. Why am i like this?

• my high empathy problems are coming up again because im so emotional.

• i am fine on 6 hours of sleep a night now but i wonder how long that will last. I don't have enough time to sleep for 8 hours every night. And maybe its because i take too many breaks but if i dont take breaks, i can't focus and everything just because thoughts that don't make sense

• im so stressed. Please just let me get my work done. All i ask is to be able to just sit down, relax, get my work done. I want to do so well on the exam later this week that I bump my B to an A or just even a high B.

• at least i enjoy school. High school and before was... Much worse. I don't enjoy spending hours trying to find out how to cite very specific topics and i dislike that one of my professors is a big perfectionist and so i often lose points on assignments (everyone does) no matter how hard i try to make it perfect. And i dislike having to check canvas so often because its difficult to navigate and i swear they try to hide assignments from us. And i hate that i have so much work that some weeks i wonder if i can possibly get it all done. And i hate group projects and i hate writing boring essays. But i love my classes at least. And i want to do well. I will do well. I am going to make all A's if it kills me. I was a B/C student in high school with occasional A's. If i just studied more (i never studied), i could have been one of the best students there, i believe. I didn't study, but I'm glad I didn't because it didn't matter as long as I got ok grades and I passed. I enjoyed my youth (not that im not still young...not that those years weren't the worst). But now i have to make A's or at least high B's because I know i can and I have to prove to my mom that I can do it. Maybe if i get good enough grades, she will back off some. Then I can prove to her that i really don't need her "help".

• this is way too specific of a list

• i want a job. If only i had time for a job. I have a strong work ethic. Im a good little capitalist slave. Please give me mone- i mean. Work. Yeah... Work...

But I dont have time for a job. Im very thankful that i dont need one. But I need to grow up and get a job because it will help me in the future

• speaking of which....a job i applied for months ago just called today... A lite late, buddy. Im 2 hours away now.

• but god... I so want to work there. I hear its a great place to work and the owner is gay (aka, not going to be homophobic to me)

• i wish i had my suitemate/neighbor's life. Like loudly talking on the phone and slamming doors as loud as possible all day long? And she's an RA so she gets paid.

• im calling my mom soon and getting this shit over with. Also i have somewhere to go with friends tonight so we can kidna- i mean recruit ppl for the theatre club. Im no theatre person but i am there for my friend and to make props.

• i can't do it.

• but if i do this, ill be free....

• maybe a quick meditation beforehand. Maybe self hypnosis so i can emotionally numb myself for a few minutes... Idk if im experienced enough to do that yet... But I've been doing it for years so might as well give it a try

• have i really resorted to self hypnosis to deal with the stress of calling my own mother?

• am i really so weak that even though everything is going well, something as simple as my mom calling to check my grades once a week makes me so upset that I cry almost every day about it?

• i know what she is doing is not legal. But what can I do about it?

• my mom thinks that im incompetent as well. That's why she checks my grades. She thinks I can't do it. She didn't even think that I had the ability to live by myself. I proved her wrong there.

• im working so hard partly because of her. So why does me working hard and thus not having time to call make her upset?

• it will all be over by tomorrow.

• perhaps calling her on the phone in a public space would be better. Maybe if she realizes that im not just in my dorm....

Luckily, my mom cares a little too much about social norms. She's used against me this all my life but perhaps it could be beneficial to me.

•thats right. I can just pack my stuff i need for my work. Then ill meditate for a bit and take a tea break. Ill go take everything to a public place with lots of people and call her then.

• i don't want to bring my friends into this, it wouldn't be right. But i wish that they would just sit next to me while I was on the phone. For emotional support at least. But i wouldn't ask them to do that, especially since we haven't known each other long. But i think it would make everything better if i had someone else to back me up

• people must be sick and tired of these posts. Im sorry.

• my mom says she's proud of me, but she doesnt act like it. She used to trust me. When i was 16/17, she would say that its up to me, my responsibility, that I knew what I was doing. Now, im 18. Why does she no longer trust me? I am an adult now. It doesn't make sense. I'm more responsible than I was at that age and im an adult now. It doesn't make sense at all, shouldn't she trust me more?

• i check my own grades religiously. Why is it necessary for her to do so too? What does that accomplish?

• i have an A, 2 almost A's, 2 low B's (but i know i can get the grade up and im studying hard to do so) and one C (it was an assignment that everyone did poorly on and another homework assignment that i did poorly on because I was exhausted). I know a C is bad but it's my drawing class. My favorite class. I do well in there and i think I'm probably one of the better peforming students in there. The C was just a small mistake and since we have more work in there now, getting that grade up will not be difficult. But i feel like all of my hard work just doesn't matter anymore. It will not satisfy her either way. Even if I had all A's, she would probably still be upset that I didn't have high enough A's. One of my professors says that she doesn't give A's on projects because "mistakes happen in art and you have to accept it".

• heavy workload... Im fine doing it but... I can't do it well with the amount of time I'm given. If i just had the weekend as well and not just the rest of the week. If i had just one full day more.

• this weekend will probably be dedicated to next week's work if i can do it early

• i can't call her. It's too stressful.

• im lightheaded just thinking about it

• i have every right to be angry. I have every fucking right to be angry.

• my day should revolve around schoolwork and studying. My weekends should revolve around taking breaks and light workloads. But every moment of every day revolved around my mom instead.

• and to think... If i lived in a place where college wasnt so expensive... Perhaps she would leave me be. Perhaps my grades would be so much better and perhaps I would be happy.

#vent post #rambles #long post #rambling

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stumbling-while-balancing · 7 years ago

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Hi all, I'm back! I am so, so sorry; burnout, depression, anxiety, RL issues, and some simple distraction drew me away from awhile, but I'll try to be better about sticking around this time. At the very least, I'll warn before I go next time? Anyway, I bring with me fic! One for my OTP Sheith, and one for the Heith pairing (I just have to give Hunk some love sometimes, too). I'll probably go on a reblog spree of the tags of the Keith pairs that I have sometime tomorrow (maybe tonight?) Fics are being posted tonight. (Right after I post this, actually.)

Reminder for the tag reblog spree: I ship Keith primarily with Shiro, Hunk, Lotor, and Allura, but I'm really open to all Keith pairs so different ones may pop up. If you don't want to be spammed with art you've probably already seen of these pairs you might want to unfollow. But hopefully you won't mind seeing the pretty art of these pairs again.

It's good to be back in this fandom!

#Sheith #Heith #Keith Kogane

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weekendwarriorblog · 5 years ago

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND May 25, 2019 - ALADDIN, BOOKSMART, BRIGHTBURN

It’s the Memorial Day weekend of one-word-titled movies, because yes, “Booksmart” and “Brightburn” are indeed single words, as much as I want to make them two words each. Sadly, I’m still running behind on stuff, and I’ve only seen a few movies, so we’ll see how I do this week. (Sadly, it’s looking more and more like this column is going to have to be put on hiatus so I can focus on paying work.)

Hey, look, it’s another Disney movie I haven’t seen yet for reasons I won’t get into. Anyway, I have a ticket to see Guy Ritchie’s ALADDIN (Walt Disney Pictures) on Friday, not because I necessarily need to see Will Smith as the Genie. In fact, I’ve never even seen the original animated movie or the musical, but I am a fan of Ritchie and his work and want to give it a look.

Fortunately, I have seen Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut, the raunchy R-rated comedy BOOKSMART, being released by U.A. Releasing moderately wide, and I have to say that it’s pretty effin’ funny with a really talented young cast, led by Beanie Feldstein (Ladybird) and Kaitlyn Dever (Detroit), who could very well be the Jonah Hill and Michael Cera for a new generation. While I hate to outright call the movie Superbad for women, it’s definitely a movie in that vein but this one from a teen girl’s point of view. It also has some amazing side characters, particularly the one played by Billie Lourde, who is quite hilarious (and isn’t even in any of the trailers!). While I saw the movie too long ago to write a full-on review, this is the movie of the weekend I recommend more than any other movie, regardless of your age and gender. Its 99% on Rotten Tomatoes is no fluke!

Lastly, there’s Screen Gems’ BRIGHTBURN, which is a dark take on superheroes from one of James Gunn’s brothers and one of his cousins, and of course, James Gunn produced it. It’s directed by David Yarovesky, who has done some shorts and music videos, and it stars Gunn regular Elizabeth Banks, who appeared in Slitherway back in the day, as well as David Denman, plus Jackson Dunn as Brandon Breyer, the young kid with superpowers. Since I’ve seen this one more recently, here’s my….

MINI-REVIEW: Anyone who reads a lot of comics might be aware of the concept of “Elseworlds,” essentially DC’s version of a “What If?.” If you consider yourself a connoisseur of good comics than you probably have read Alan Moore’s “Miracleman” comics. The general idea was to look at what happens when someone with superpowers allows the powers to go to their head, and they use those powers for evil purposes. It’s even more interesting when said person is still a child without the maturity needed to handle having such power.

In that sense, Brightburn isn’t a completely original idea, though it is for the world movies where there haven’t been that many alternate superhero films, let alone ones treated like horror. It takes the mythos of DC Comics’ Superman, of a baby from another alien taken in by a kindly Kansas couple, then twists it into a gory horror movie. It also deals with something I’ve always found interesting in what a kid might do if they discover they have superpowers and whether they would use them to get revenge on their oppressors, even if it’s their parents. Going by this film written by James Gunn’s brother and cousin, then the answer is “Yes.”

Brightburn begins with Elizabeth Banks and David Denman as a young couple trying to have a kid when a meteor lands nearby. We then see a montage of young Brandon Breyer growing from a baby to a pre-teen boy, and we see that he’s been having difficulty adjusting to school and life in Kansas

The results aren’t perfect and some of my issues might be due to how much is given away in the trailers, but in terms of combining things I like – superheroes and creepy kids who go on a wanton killing spree – it’s a high concept that keeps you entertained for all 90 minutes without a dull moment. That has much to do with David Yarovesky’s direction, as he has all the faculties needed to make a solid horror film, including some highly disturbing gory scenes, but also his small but capable cast.

Kind of the ultimate Richard Donner mash-up – part-Superman,part-The Omen– Brightburn isn’t perfect, but it’s a conceit that actually works to create a fun and gory time that’s more horror than superheroics.

RATING:7/10

You can read what I think of the above’s box office prospects over at The Beat.

LIMITED RELEASES

I wish I could say that I’ve seen more of this weekend’s limited release, but I’ve only watched a couple of them.

Opening at the Metrograph Friday is Gabriel Abrantes and Daniel Schmidt’s surrealist comedy DIAMANTINO (Kino Lorber), an odd Portugal-set film about a world-famous soccer superstar, Carloto Cotta, who gets caught up in a controversy over statements made about refugees. He has some evil twin sisters who like glomming onto their brother’s fame and fortune, as well as a government conspiracy. It’s a rather amusing and entertaining film for sure, which reminded me of some of the stranger films of Jean-Pierre Jeunet or Terry Gilliam, but it won’t be for everyone.

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Opening on Wednesday i.e. today is Noble Jones’ THE TOMORROW MAN (Bleecker Street), starring John Lithgow as a cranky survivalist Ed Hemsler who meets Blythe Danner’s Ronnie Meisner, who he sees as a like-minded individual. This is another boring romance movie geared towards the over-50s (that me)that doesn’t really go anywhere, and I couldn’t even enjoy it for the performances by the two leads because the material just wasn’t up to snuff.

Jill Magid’s doc THE PROPOSAL (Oscilloscope) is about architect Luis Barragan, whose work was locked away in a Swiss bunker on his death in 1988, which the filmmaker has tried to bring to light as she negotiates with those keeping charge of it. Opening in L.A. at the Landmark as well as the Quad Cinemathis weekend is Frédéric Tcheng’s doc HALSTON (1091) about designer Roy Halston Frowick, who rose to fame in the ‘70s.

Next up is a trio of music docs beginning with the one I’ve seen, Barak Goodman’s Woodstock: Three Days That Defined A Generation (PBS Distribution / American Experience FIlms), which premiered at Tribeca and will get a nominal theatrical release before airing on PBS. (It will be celebrating is 50thAnniversary in August, too!) As someone who admired the more famous 1970 Woodstock concert film by Michael Wadleigh – it even won the Oscar for documentary that year! – but Goodman’s movie finds new avenues into the 1969 music and art festlval by showing its development and the lead-up to the festival as well as all the problems it faced along the way. Probably the more interesting aspect of the movie is Wavy Gravy’s contribution to the festival security with his commune of artists who actually end up saving the day more than once. (This doc will also premiere at the Quad this weekend with special guests.)

Having special shows across the country tonight and again on May 29 is Tom Jones’Asbury Park: Riot, Redemption, Rock n’ Roll (Trafalgar Releasing) about how the power of music and musicians like Steven Van Zandt, Southside Johnny Lyon, and of course, Bruce Springsteen, helped save the troubled Jersey town. You can get tickets for these special shows at the official site.

Another neighborhood music community is being honored in Andrew Slater’s Echo in the Canyon (Greenwich), which celebrates the music coming out of Laurel Canyon in the mid-60s including the Byrds, the Beach Boys, Buffalo Sprinfield and the Mamas and the Papes aka the California Sound.It opens in L.A. Friday and then in New York on May 31.

If you happened to see Paul Rudd in the film The Catcher Was a Spy last year, then you might be interested in learning more about his character Moe Berg, Aviva Kempner’s’s doc The Spy Behind Home Plate, which opens in Washington, DC this Friday and then In New York, Philly and other markets on May 31.

Gotta start wrapping up here but there’s also Rob Heydon’s thriller Isabelle (Vertical Entertainment), starring Adam Brody and Amanda Crew; as well as the Scott Adkins action-thriller Avengement (Samuel Goldwyn), directed by Jesse V. Johnson.

STREAMING AND CABLE

The movie I’m most excited about this weekend is for people to see Richard Shepard’s THE PERFECTION, streaming on Netflix Friday. It stars Allison Williams from Get Outand Logan Browning (Dear White People), and I’m not really sure what I can say about it, since I don’t want to spoil your experience. I can say that Williams plays a cello prodigy who has been off the circuit for a few years. When she returns, Browning’s character has kind of taken her place, but the two become close… and then stuff happens. Crazy stuff… stuff that you’re not going to forget anytime soon. But if you liked Get Out and Us and last year’s Hereditary, you’re probably going to like this movie that premiered at Fantastic Fest, as well. I’ve loved Shepard’s dark sense of humor from movies like The Matador and Dom Hemingway, and he has two terrific stars in this one, who seem to be up for whatever is thrown their way… and a LOT is thrown their way. I also got to interview Richard for the fourth time recently, which you can read over at The Beat.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

This year’s 26th New York African Film Festival begins on Thursday at the BAMCinematek in Brooklyn with FilmAfrica, a series of fairly recent films from a continent that just doesn’t get enough attention in the cinematic world. The opening night of the BAM leg is Jahmil X.T. Qubeka’sSew the Winter to my Sky, a Western-inspired heist film about South African bandit John Kepe. On Saturday, you can see Raoul (I Am Not Your Negro) Peck’s 2005 film Sometimes in April starring Idris Elba about the Rwandan genocide. The movie will then move next week to Film at Lincon Center, as the program continues through June 4, so I’ll write more about their offerings next week. The festival wraps up its last few days from June 5 to June 9 at the Maysles Cinema in Harlem. I honestly wish I had more time to see some of this series because it looks fantastic and many of the films may never get U.S. distribution, but I just have too much on my plate right now.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This weekend’s Late Nites at Metrograph is Katsuhiro Otomo’s Akira (1988) while the Playtime: Family Matinees is Jacques Perrin award-winning doc Winged Migration (2001) on Saturday and Sunday morning. New York Times critic Glenn Kenny is presenting Elia Kazan’s 1969 film The Arrangement, starring Kirk Douglas and Fay Dunaway, on Saturday while poet and novelist Barry Gifford is showing a double feature of Samuel Fuller’s Pickup on South Street (1953) and Jack Garfein’s The Strange One (1957) on Sunday.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Tarantino is in Cannes presenting his new movie (to absolute raves) but his rep theater is showing Vincente Minnelli’s 1953 film The Band Wagon starring Fred Astaire on Weds. afternoon. The week’s upcoming double features are Barbra Streisand’s Yentl (1983) and Crossing Delancey (1988) on Weds and Thurs., Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation (2003) and Somewhere (2010) on Friday/Saturday, and Honor Among Lovers (1931), Craig’s Wife (1936) and Sarah and Son (1930) in a Dorothy Arzner triple feature Sunday and Monday. The weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is the Tom Hanks-Penny Marshall movie Big (1988) and the midnight movies are the doc Full-Tilt Boogie (about the making of From Dusk til Dawn)on Friday and once again, The Love Witch, on Saturday. Next Monday’s matinee is the ensemble drama Now and Then (1995) and then Tuesday’s GRINDHOUSE double feature is Kao Pao-Shu’s Blood of the Dragon (1971) and The Master Strikes (1980).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

This weekend’s Film Forum Jr. is Penny Marshall’s A League of Their Own (1992), also starring Tom Hanks. Film Forum is also starting a new three-week 40-film (!) series called The Hour of Liberation: Decolonizing Cinema, 1966 – 1981, which includes screenings of The Battle of Algiers (1966), Ousmane Sembène’s Black Girl (1966) and other films imported from “Third World” countries with support from the Academ of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Concurrently, Film Forum is kicking off The Jewish Soul: Classics of Yiddish Cinema, which begins this weekend with the 1937 film The Dybbuk with a few other films running through June.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Cassavetes/Scorsese: Love is Strangecontinues with After Hours (1985) with Rosanna Arquette (!) and Gloria (1983) on Thursday and Raging Bull (1980) and The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (1976) on Friday. Personally, I wish I could be in L.A. Saturday for a six-film Godzilla-Thon that includes some of my favorite films from Toho including the original 1954 Gojira. Then Sunday, there’s a double feature of the Uganda-set Bad Black (2016) and Who Killed Captain Alex? (2010).

AERO (LA):

Not to be outdone by the Egyptian, the AERO presents a Memorial Day in 70mm with Hook (1991) on Thursday, a double feature of The Thing and Starmanon Friday, 2001: A Space Odyssey on Saturday and Lawrence of Arabia (1962) on Sunday. Have I mentioned how I’d love to live in L.A. this weekend?

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Back in New York, Fighting Mad: German Genre Films from the Marginscontinues through Thursday as well as the doc Doomed Love: A Journey Through German Genre Film.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

This week, the Roxy is showing Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette(2006) in 35mm, as well as a screening of Joanna Hogg’s Exhibition(2013). They’re also showing Patrick Wang’s recent A Bread Factory, Part One (Friday) and Part Two (Saturday).

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Waverly Midnights: Parental Guidance screens Rosemary’s Baby and Serial Mom on Memorial Day weekend, while Weekend Classics: LoveMom and Dad shows Ozu’s Late Spring (1949) and Late Night Favorites: Spring continues withDavid Fincher’sFight Club, Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

FILM OF LINCOLN CENTER(NYC):

This weekend, Lincoln Center begins its own Czech New Wave series with Ester Krumbachova: Unknown Master of the Czechoslovakia New Wave, running from May 24 through May 29. I still don’t know anything about the Czech New Wave then I knew a few months back, although apparently, she was a writer, director and costume designer and the series includes examples of all three.

MOMA (NYC):

It looks like Abel Ferrara: Unrated will run for the rest of the month, and this week, we get R’ Xmas (2001) on Wednesday, The Funeral (1996) on Thursday, 1989’s Cat Chaser on Friday and Saturday as well as Napoli (2009) on Saturday. Sunday sees Mary (2005) and Crime Story (1986). The Jean-Claude Carrière series continues with Luis Buñuel’s The Phantom of Liberty (1974) on Thursday, Milos Forman’s Valmont (1989) on Friday and Saturday, Cyrano de Bergerac on Friday and Sunday as well as Andrzej Wajda’s Danton (1983) plus more over the weekend. Basically, lots of interesting movie options.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

See It Big! Action is going full-throttle on Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible series, showing ALL SIX movies between Friday and Sunday. What a perfect Memorial Day treat! I wish I lived closer to Astoria, Queens.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

This Friday’s Midnight Movie is Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo(1958).

I also want to quickly add that the Maysles Cinema is having a Manfred Kirschheimer retrospective of sorts, in that it’s premiering his new movie Dream of a City, showing it with some of his earlier documentary works, both short and long format. Just another example of the amazing cinema that you can see in New York on any given day of the week.

#Aladdin Brightburn Booksmart MOvies Reviews limitedreleases repertory

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rudimentaryrecollections · 7 years ago

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Berlin 2 September – 10 September 2017

I really like this place straight off. I walk from the coach terminal to the nearby Grinewald forest. The path takes me through a large area of communal housing, small cottages which look mostly self-sustained, with large gardens.

The forest relaxes me. I climb a hill with what looks like a street art exhibition at the top, with some rundown cold war thing in the middle. I want to enter but I have no Euros, only Swekish Kronas. It is 8E for a ticket.

I later find out the place is called Tefulesburg. It is the remains of an NSA listening station from the cold war. The hill is artificial, having been built out of the debris from WW2. I decide I will go some other day.

I walk to a train station and buy a weekly ticket, as I will be here for this long. I go to the city centre and explore the museum area and canals. I book a cheap hostel nearby for the night, and a good vibes looking one in East Berlin for the rest of the week.

Not much to say for the first evening. I check into the hostel. Have some beer in the park. Socialise in the room with my roomates. More beer in the hostel bar, read my book and go to bed.

In the morning I explore the city centre a bit more. I see more museums from the outside, an old cathedral with some bullet marks in the stonework from the war and some other landmarks I take nothing more than a passing interest in.

I notice there are more exposed pipes in here. I find out from a German friend later that this is because the ground underneath the cities is very boggy, and is not stable enough to hold the pipes reliably in their place underground.

I catch a tram to the hostel. It is nice, with a large open garden, blooming with tall sunflowers and marigolds, and a common room and kitchen which has large doors that open into the garden. The owner checks me in and seems like a cool guy. I rest in my room. A man is passed out on the couch in there. He wakes up and introduces himself as Peter, and apologises as he has been partying for 24 hours straight, so cannot offer more in conversation. I tell him I understand and it is important to rest after such a party.

I leave the hostel. I’ve noticed there are lots of abandoned buildings in the city, and found a website called abandoned Berlin. I like taking photos at such locations, so I find one nearby, and abandoned children’s hospital, and head towards it. I walk past a brewery, with crates of recycled bottle standing tall outside. Eventually I come to the hospital, and it is

I spend hours there, carefully treading through the dilapidated building. I explore it thoroughly, trying to imagine what it was once like. There is much graffiti here, and evidence of squatters and parties in the wreckage. Arsons have tried to burn raze the place from the ceiling down. The basement sections have stale air and are pitch black. I explore them with my flashlight. There is next to no graffiti here, the street artists perhaps being too spooked by it. There is some writing on the walls though. “Welcome to hell.” “I died here.” “Help me, I am in hell.” “This way to the portal.” “You have reached the point of no return.” “Don’t look at the sky because that’s when the hell creeps in.”

All this with arrows to follow. I follow the trail through narrow pipe passageways and holes in brick walls, half indulging myself in the horror fantasy and half being amused imagining myself as the author of these messages – a youth with a can of spray paint. I bump into a group of three young explorers who are friendly, and a lone man, about my age exploring, who I am friendly towards. The sun is starting to set when I leave. I have a couple of hundred more photos on my phone and camera.

If you are interested in the hospital’s history, or even to compare some of my photos with those from a few years ago, I recommend the Abandoned Berlin page for it - http://www.abandonedberlin.com/2013/08/abandoned-childrens-hospital-zombies.html

I catch a tram back to the hostel and get a falafel and some beers. I befriend a man from Arizona in the kitchen who I share some musical tastes with. A fire is lit outdoors and it becomes a social hub. I sip beer and chat. It is a Monday evening so most of us retire at midnight.

The next day is aimless. I catch trams and just ride them around. I explore some parks. I explore the city centre once again, and find a good falafel joint. I have some beers to ease my headache. I do not want to socialise so I stay out until it’s dark, reading my book in random places. Then I go straight to bed when I get back, passing by the group around the fire, giving nothing but a head nod to those I know, too exhausted to talk.

The next day I go to the nearby Stasi prison. The Stasi being the East German Soviet police. It is a scary place. I hear about the psychological torture and cruel punishments for being a so called enemy of the state. It is depressing, like 1984 by George Orwell. It is also very bleak, grey walls, grey sky. Many prisoners were innocent, and often locked up if it was thought someone in the west would pay a ransom for their release. Essentially state kidnapping was a source of revenue. The cells were purposefully made too hot or cold to ensure discomfort. The light remained on all night. You could not lie on the bed during the day, you had to stand up. They would deprive you of sleep and make you go mad so that your just wanted it to stop and would confess to anything they wanted you to. They would interrogate you at night. It would all continue until you sign some bizarre confession of crimes being a spy and implicate your friends and family and then they would send you to other prisons or to labour camps. It helped me understand life in the DDR. Thank fuck that’s over.

I buy some groceries on the way back. Back at the hostel I switch rooms from the nine bed dorm to a tent in the back garden, where chickens roam free. There are two beds in here, I have it for two nights, and I have it alone. Other people have their own tents pitched out here too. There is an apple tree where I pick a fresh apple for later. Then it buckets down with rain and I rest and relax in the tent for the afternoon. At night I cook some roast cauliflower and potato for dinner. Then I sip beers on the couches in the common room. Other people join me, some come and go. Australian, Glasweigian, English, German, Danish, Irish, Canadian, Israeli, Brazilian, Argentinian – the usual assortment of nationalities. All good people, as this place seems to attract.

The next day I sleep in late. Then I catch random trams and trains again. I walk through a long pedestrianised street lined with shops. I end up at the Oberbaum Bridge, where the East side Gallery starts – a long stretch of the preserved Berlin wall with street art and history painted on it. I walk along it. I follow it slowly sipping beer until it ends. Then I follow the Spree river back to the town centre and jump on a tram back.

I cook some potato and cauliflower curry for dinner, and am thinking to have a quiet night in the tent, but Peter invites me to a night on the town with him. As a gay man he wants to go to some gay bars I like to think of myself as open minded, so I’m fine with going along to witness this new experience. Why not? I think, when in Berlin. The nightlife here is famous, and I’d been meaning to check it out.

I knew I would have to get very drunk in an effort to get into the spirit of things. I had some sad news at the start of the evening, which my mind tends to turn back to. I had been trying to contact a friend, Marija, in Serbia at the start of my trip. I had never met them before, they were someone I befriended through the internet some way or another, and we used to have a pen pal type relationship, but through instant messenger. She had a genetic disease, some form of muscular dystrophy and I had thought it would be nice to visit her and bring her a gift. At the start of the night I got a reply:

Hey Mark,

this is Marijas sister, I turned on her phone today after a while

She passed away in January on Christmas

Got very sick in a short time and doctors couldn’t do much, we didn’t see it coming that fast

It put me in a reflective mood. I could not help but feel sorrow for her. Yes it would pass and I would feel thankful that I am a healthy, educated Australian.

But I had to grieve for her first. She spent most of her life in a wheelchair in pain, and in a country with not the greatest medical facilities. She was intelligent, but could not go to university, as Serbian infrastructure does not readily accommodate disabled access as Australian cities do. She suffered then she died.

So there I was, gloomy and withdrawn, drinking with Peter, bubbly and gay.

We go to Kreuzberg, an area with many bars and nightclubs. We go to a supermarket and drink prosecco and energy drinks purchased from a convenience store outside a bar with coloured lights. We go to a quiet bar and have another energy drink. We go to an energetic gay bar which I am entertained and uplifted by. We go to a convenience store and buy some peppermint schnapps which I throw back greedily. I am finding it hard to get out of my shell.

Peter is a regular at these places, and sometimes knows some people. I do my best to be open and friendly, and perhaps I also feel a degree uncomfortable.

I hardly remember the last bar, Roses, with it’s red lighting, leather seats and fur on the walls. But I become very sleepy and at some point I left the bar of my own accord and caught a train home.

In the morning I could not find my wallet. Oh well. It’s either pickpocketed, dropped on the train home, or back at the bar. Bank card, UK ID, Aussie driver’s licence. Nothing I can’t replace. Nothing in comparison to the news about Marija. I cancel one tomorrow night’s booking at the hostel, and switch to the 12 bed dorm I had had booked. I catch a tram to town. I go to the lost property office but it is closed. I message Laura asking her if she can buy me some phone credit, as I cannot recharge without a UK bank card. I want to call the bar we were last at to see if they have the wallet.

I exchange my Czech and Swedish cash (which had been in my backpack) for Euros so I have money to pay for the next night at the hostel. I walk back to the hostel since I have lost my tram ticket. I explore a large park for some time, and am lucky enough to see a native red squirrel. Apparently these are becoming rare, as a large North American grey squirrel has pushed them out.

It is dark when I return to the hostel. I rest for a while. Then I make some food and sit brooding in the corner of the common room.

It is Friday night so things are a bit more lively. Peter appears. I ask him how the rest of his night was. He said a Finnish lady kept buying him drinks, as she had been promoted. Then he went home with a guy and was just getting back. He says he was confused by my disappearance, I explained I had been very drunk and I just leave when that happens. He wondered if something was wrong, as I had seemed to keep my distance from him. I explained my aloofness was due to grief. He said he did not think I got a kiss last night. I agreed. He said, well perhaps tonight!

I tell him about my wallet and he says we should go back, he was going to do it all over again tonight. Laura has not had time to recharge my phone yet, which is fair enough. So although it’s the last thing I want to do, I have no choice but to come along. However we are to have some friends join us this time. I quickly become friends with Georgie the west coast badass style American, and ratify my friendships with Peter, Jessie who I had talked with a few time over the last week and Anna, a Canadian who works at the hostel.

We follow the same route as the night before, and it feels a little like deja vu. We return to the spot with coloured lights, however this time I split a bottle of rum and some grapefruit juice with Georgie. This makes me quite drunk, and the next thing I know is we are back at Roses. They have my wallet at the bar. I become ecstatic and buy a round of drinks for my friends, tipping the bartender generously. Anna and I magnetise toward each other and spend much time dancing and talking together. Peter was right, I would get a kiss tonight.

As a group we were in the bar chatting to other people, then on the street at a night store drinking Club Mate, an energy drink, and then back in Roses. Around 5am in the morning the bar closes. It has been a crazy fun night, with too much happening to describe.

Anna and I catch a cab back as she is worried about getting back for work in the morning. She cannot find the keys to her room however so I keep her company in the common room until the sun rises and then I crawl to my bed.

Tonas, the owner of the hostel awakes me. It is past checkout time and he needs to collect my bed linen, unless I want to rebook the night I cancelled. I choose to rebook and sleep a bit more. I get up and have a shower. I’m meant to meet Maxine (my German friend from Ghent and Luxembourg) today in Potsdam and then hangout with Anna tonight.

I get the train to Potsdam. Maxine is as exhausted as I am – however her fatigue comes from work and study. She gives me a brief and informative tour of the place. We meet outside a large church, and are allowed to climb to the top for free as she knows the staff. It is an impressive view, and she points and describes landmarks to me. It was a DDR town, so she explains how they widened the main streets for military parades. The hollywood of Germany is here, and we discuss the few German films I have seen. We can hear loud men on loud speakers, and see many police cars at a square in the distance. Maxine explains that the German election is in three weeks. A populist party has emerged and is tipped to get the third most votes. There is a rally today for the populist party, and an anti-populist counter-rally. Thus the loud speakers and police cars.

As we descend the narrow staircase, we pause in the main room where a choir rehearses for the night’s performance. They will perform pop songs that evening. I have never heard anything quite like it in the tall, acoustic hall. A mini orchestra backs them up, and it is at first a relaxing, ambient sound, but unexpectedly it turns into an uplifting chorus. Maxine says she was thinking of going tonight, and later I am to find out she had hoped I would visit in the evening rather than the afternoon.

She takes me to her work, a liquorice store, and she chats with her friends in German who are working. They give me some liquorice, and although I do not like liquorice, this piece ain’t so bad. Sabine was a midwife, but grew tired of it, so now she studies art and culture and works at the liquorice store, which she prefers. We go for coffee and a cupcake and the conversation flows easily. We speak of her travels. She spend many months in Israel. As we leave the woman at the counter who has a heart-warming smile inquires if we are Jewish, as we spoke of Israel and the Sabbath.

Next we walk to Sansoucci, the palace of Fredrick the Great. It is spoken of as a rival to Versailles, albeit it is smaller. It is very pretty, and I absorb myself in the moment rather than pausing for photos. At Fredrick’s grave there are potatoes placed on top of it. Sabine explains this is because he introduced the potato to Prussia, during a great famine. The people were slow to adopt it, and were eating the leaves as they did not understand what to eat. But the way Fredrick made people want to learn how to grow it, was by planting a great field of them, and having it guarded. Once the people saw it was guarded, they decided it was valuable and started growing it themselves.

After this I am too tired to do much more but return to the hostel. So we catch a bus to the train station and say our farewells as the train arrives. I hope to see her in the UK, or in Europe again one day.

I have some beers on the tram ride home in a hair of the dog approach to my own well being. Johnny, a quiet guy from Bristol who is in my room at the hostel is on the tram. He came here for an engineering job interview. I compare cities in the UK to live in, and he confirms Bristol is a creative place, but not the cheapest. Best head north if I want the cheaper rent.

Anna is working at reception when I get back. She tells me Tonas said she had been too drunk for the morning shift, so he let her off it and in return she’s doing the night shift. We agree to have some beers in the common room later.

I rest in bed for some time and get up later for a shower and some food. It is eerily quiet in the hostel for a Saturday night. I later find it is because many guests went to Lollapalooza, a music festival nearby. I head out with my book for a falafel and some more beer. I desperately need some sleep but have had so much caffeine that day it won’t come.

I return at 10pm. Michael has let Anna shut reception two hours early since it is so quiet. She got her keys back, Jessie had them for a reason neither of them recall. The hostel sells a Potsdam beer Sabine had recommended me, and we split many of these. We share conversation with others who come and go on the couches – some drinking, some smoking spliffs. Eventually we go to bed.

The next day I loaf around the hostel until midday. Then I say farewell to Anna, agreeing to meet up with her sometime in October, and I bid adieu to any other friends basking in the garden’s sun.

It was great place to stay, Sandino World Improvement Network hostel.

But I had to leave. Prague is calling me, there is work I want to do.

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