#i will now go downstairs and percieve her myself

[chasetrickery]

bellaposting

[veryfineday]

Monday 27 February 1832

7 55/..

1 1/2

Vc  Ͷ

very fine sunny morning Fahrenheit 60º. at 8 in my room and 44º. at 9 in the balcony - out at 9 1/4 - bought white lambs sstockings thinking to use them for my cousin - Letter from mrs. Ross (came yesterday) at mr. wooll’s - she will not do at all - walKed (reading) to the turnpike London road and bacK at 10 35/.. - dressed - breakfast at 10 50/.. - came upstairs at 11 50/.. -

wrote in answer to mrs. Ross - ‘mr. wooll is instructed to inform mrs. Ross that the situation in question will not suit her at all. Hastings 27 February 1832’ - went downstirs about 12 1/4 to looK at some cloth, and Lady Anne Scott called and staid 1/2 hour - went out with miss H-[Hobart] at 1 1/2 - put into the post myself my letter to ‘mrs. C. Ross, at captain Ross’s, BlacKheath Kent - postage paid’ and we then walKed to Saint Leonards - sauntered about there - and home again at 3 35.. -

came to my room at 3 40/.. - on returning from the P.O.[Post Office] found miss H-[Hobart] talKing to a mrs. [wquch] of Pett Rectory, and on coming home found the cards of mrs. and the miss Timperons, no. 10 crescent whose names miss H-[Hobart] had never heard of -

Miss H[obart] and I very good friends  she hoped I was happy now for she was  no said I not happy but comfortable  she said that was odd and tiresome  for when I was happy she was less than comfortable and liked me better now   some time after she said I d[o]  not need stifle all tenderness  ah said I that is not right of you  ‘the bird attempts the bush no more from which with pain he scaped before’  she asked me to repeat this which I did  explaining how birds were caught with birdlime  and here the subject dropped    she does not altogether relish the change in me tho I am now perfectly cheerful  she thinks me getting to care less about her and this she often says was not what she wanted   let things take their chance and let me suit my convenience - washing etc, had just wrote the above of today at 4 35/.. -

was ssitting musing whether to write to Lady Gordon or do accounts when she came and brought me some orangeade as she has done these last few afternoons   then said I had been thinking of writing to Lady G[ordon]  what do you mean to propose to go to Geneva  and will you send it without telling me   I promised not to do this she held down her forehead to my lips  I merely put them to it then withdrew and laughed  she offered me her forehead again  and I did the same  she had then percieved I had not really kissed her  she started just exclaimed  you did not do it!  turned and ran out of the room  I think she was hurt  but I have left her to herself and sat quietly writing the last seven and a half lines till  5 25/.. and till 6 3/4 maKing notes from volumes 7 and 8 Gibbon - dressed dinner at dinner at 7 20/.. in 40 minutes - music and I read 2 or 3 of Knox’s essay - coffee at 8 3/4 - 

she lay on the sofa  tired looked ill  I had been in good spirits and neither of us alluded to what passed before dinner  till at length on some little opportunity  I said how angry she had been with me  no said she  I was not angry but surprised I have not been angry lately  I took no more notice  talked of going too see Lady Hesther Stanhope and if I should turn mohammedan etc. etc. then  from 10 to 11 read aloud from 309 to end of page 353 end of chapter 50 volume 9 Gibbon - came upstairs at 11 10/.. and to my room at 11 1/4 - just shook hands very gently wished good night and came away  never offered a kiss  nor will she I think offer me her forehead again no notice was taken by either of us  she has looked ill and as if tears were often near her eyes  but I seemed not find it out  and she merely complained of being tired  but I think had she been more happy or less hurt or surprised  she would have looked better -

miss H-[Hobart] much tired - looKed pale, and ill - complained of pain in her left side which she said she never had before -  what in the world shall we make of it?   all these tiffs are very like lovers quarrels  or will she take serious huff this time  and we get really right again no more? -

wrote the whole of this page til 11 40/.. - very fine sunny day, but cold east wind - very cold at Saint Leonards - a coat colder than Hastings - Fahrenheit 61º. now at 11 40/.. in my room and 41º. at 12 1/4 in the balcony - went down at twelve and made up and stood ten minutes by the drawing room fire  nervously cold and fidgetty - went downstairs a 2nd time - restless - came up again in 1/4 hour - then till 12 3/4 reading over the crypt of my journal of Thursday and the following days up to this moment - this has done me good as usual - and I shall go to bed -