#i will never stop being annoying about living in gion

[crrows]

Afternoon walk

[overdrivels]

Free as a bird

“How’d a guy like you get a name like ‘Sparrow’ anyways?” 

The question doesn’t come as a surprise to Genji, especially not after the latest fight he had with his brother. The memory of the fight is not as raw as he anticipated. It’s almost laughable now. 

In just ten years Genji nearly forgot just how childish Hanzo could be sometimes. No, he never forgot--he just never noticed it in the first place, too focused on living his life and getting away from the stifling control of his family. 

Hanzo has always been like that, getting hung up over the stupidest things like the perceived favoritism in the form of a single word. Sometimes he can't believe he had such anger toward someone as petty as his brother. (Though anyone would be angry at nearly losing their life.) 

Genji turns away from McCree, staring out past the balcony of the seedy hotel. 

Yes, the same type of seedy hotels that Genji would have found himself getting dragged out of by his angry brother. 

Going back home is always a bit of a spectacle. The morning would still be gray and the streets filled with the elderly and people who have to walk their dogs or other pets in the morning. Very few people dare look the racoon-eyed Hanzo in the face (especially if he had a fist curled in Genji's shirt collar--if he was lucky enough to have one on), subtly making way for the two Shimada heirs and the occasional guard who trails along, pretending to do their job. 

It’s a routine almost as old as his puberty. 

Genji would fuck off in the middle of the night after training, hanging out with whatever ‘friends’ were fearless enough to accompany the second Shimada heir to a club or bar or whatever he felt like doing that night. It would be near dawn before Hanzo would bust in, signalling the end of his fun. Genji never really knew how Hanzo found him--he was so sure to destroy any tracking devices he found on his belongings (sometimes dumping everything but his underwear and pants into the river all together, sometimes putting it on a stray dog or a bird, always checking and making sure his fun cannot end early). Genji chalked it up to ‘mysterious older brother senses’. Either way, Hanzo would drag him back home to their father. 

This time was no different than any other. 

The two of them stood in his father’s office, Hanzo at attention and Genji still yawning with his pants unbuttoned and Y-shirt crumpled from people grabbing at it. Without even a greeting, their father waved his hand at Hanzo in dismissal.

「You may go.」

Obediently, Hanzo bowed, taking his leave with a deep scowl. The grinding of his jaw echoed in the room and Genji could even swear he heard Hanzo’s fists tightening. Genji didn’t really care that his brother was annoyed or lacking sleep--it was Hanzo’s decision to come after him instead of sleeping. If only they’d leave him alone, maybe neither of them would have to suffer so much. 

The door shut quietly behind Hanzo, allowing silence to settle between Sojiro and his youngest son. 

Sojiro put both his arms into the sleeves of his happi.「Out late again, young dragon?」

Genji put his arms behind his heads and grinned despite the glare his father was giving him.

「You know it, old man.」

「What caught your fancy this time?」

「Hah. There was this great DJ playing over the net at the club owned by Yashiro. He looks like he’s twelve, but he’s good! He’s going to be big one day. 」

Genji rambled on and on about the club and DJ with reckless abandon. It wasn’t as though his father was curious about Genji’s night--he just wanted Genji to feel bad and say that he was ‘sorry for being irresponsible and he’ll be more prudent in the future’ or some bullshit. 

He held up a hand.「Genji. A dragon does not indulge in such frivolous activities or mingle so easily with...those people. When will you learn to be responsible?」

‘Those people’ was Sojiro-talk for ‘plebians’. He was still adamant that their blood was superior because they supposedly descended from ‘dragons’. It’s a well-practiced and well-learned speech that Genji has heard enough that he could probably recite it by heart and would probably find it carved into his gravestone if he happened to die before their father. (Not that he’ll let that happen.)

Rolling his eyes, he decided he no longer wanted to listen and put up a middle finger. "Kiss my ass, old man.”

One of his English speaking friends taught him that. A useful phrase if only for the imagery. Genji could feel a little proud of himself for rendering his father speechless. Sojiro’s eyes widened and breath deepened, a sure sign that he did not expect whatever Genji said. 

The swell of victory is accompanied by the song of birds outside the wooden window sill. 

A sparrow. Common in these parts. 

But Genji could see the light in his father's eyes. He curled a hand beneath his jaw, settling a little deeper into his seat and Genji almost wanted to roll his eyes. His father only ever did that when he thinks he's thought of something clever. (It's almost never clever and usually spelled out humiliation for many people.)

"...Sparrow."

Father never used English if he didn’t have to. Or any other language. Of course, he was perfectly fluent in English (and Mandarin, and Cantonese, and Korean, and Taiwanese, and a little bit of Tagalog, and at least four very different dialects of Japanese--all standard in this household), but he preferred to keep his cards close, skillfully showing one at a time when the situation calls for it. (Watching the blood drain out of the face of a rival gang's leader after Sojiro laughed at a snide comment delivered in Tohoku-dialect was extremely satisfying.)

‘Everything a Shimada does must be done with purpose’ is what his father taught him when he was young. His father calling him ‘Sparrow’ in English is no coincidence. 

「What, Father?」 Genji didn’t hesitate to throw the slight back. 「Forgetting how to use Japanese at your age? Unsightly.」

「Hmph.」 There was an amused twinkle to his father’s crinkled eyes. 「The words of foreigners are good enough for you, Sparrow. If you feel that you cannot be a dragon, then you are no better than a common bird.」In Genji’s ears, he only heard the sounds of a line being drawn. 

A sparrow is nimble. 

A sparrow is free. 

A sparrow can be crushed in one hand. 

Fine, if his father wanted to ridicule him with a word like ‘Sparrow’, then he shouldn't mind if Genji took one of his teacher's lessons to heart. 

The best way to disarm a weapon like that is to take it as his own and wear it as his armor. 

Sojiro called him ‘Sparrow’ at any chance he got. Genji wore the name with pride. 

‘I am my father’s cute, little sparrow.’ 

Not a fearsome, powerful dragon of legend, but a weak, common creature of insignificance. 

The imagery is powerful. 

Ever since the name became known, the notch between Hanzo's brows only grew deeper, the scowl almost permanent. It’s almost hilarious to see, and since Hanzo didn’t bother asking for an explanation, Genji never bothered clearing up the likely misunderstanding that was developing in Hanzo’s overactive mind. 

The name spread to the other employees within the Shimada’s employ. Without knowing the meaning behind it or the origin, they all parroted it, taking small pleasure in the seemingly cute nickname. Genji encouraged it, referring to himself as ‘Sparrow’ in place of his own name. 

It’s another thorn in his stern father’s side. 

Genji didn’t expect his father to put up with having his own jest thrown back in his face. He was always every bit proud of being ‘descendants of dragons’ as his brother was. 

So it came as no surprise when the daily morning routine shifted. 

「I was just in Kyoto. Did you know what I found in the stands there?」

There was only one real reason why his father would mention Kyoto if it’s not work-related.Genji shrugged, feigning ignorance. 

「Was it some cute maikos? You know, if you give them my name at the Gion Hatanaka ryokan--」

Sojiro ignored his son’s nonsense and produced a small take-out container with--he guessed it--a gnarly display of two perfectly grilled sparrows. Kyoto was the last prefecture to still sell skewered sparrows on sticks, after all. 

But the message is clear: Keep it up and you too will end up like that.

How unsubtle. 

Genji just took one and bit into it, the crunch reverberating in the room and he stared his father down. He’d love to see his father try. 

Luckily he didn't have to. 

Their father, Shimada Sojiro, died in his sleep not too long after--a more graceful death than anyone who acts like him deserves. 

(Flipping off his father's gravestone as he escaped the castle is almost a habit.)

As everyone expected, his brother was designated the new leader of the Shimada clan. 

Genji took to his namesake more than ever--disappearing and making a home out in town more often than he stopped by the castle. There was nothing tying him down. He could be free and live his life however he wanted and actually be a part of the present, a part of the world, not tied down by decrepit ‘traditions’ or the stories his father so desperately clung to even in his final moments. 

His brother did not take kindly to Genji’s absence, claiming the household is in shambles because of Genji’s flightiness. Apparently there were still some idiots left who clung onto the hope that Genji might still possibly lead the clan. A stupid thought that offends Genji as much as Hanzo. 

Each time Hanzo would grab Genji and bring him home, Genji would say, 「Don’t you know it’s illegal to keep wild animals like sparrows as pets? 」before slipping out again. Escaping was almost second nature to Genji by this point. Everything he’s learned in his training for assassination was being honed just so that Genji could finally leave. 

The final time before Hanzo’s attempt on Genji’s life, they sat down (well, Genji wasn’t there by choice) to talk. Hanzo was clearly fed up with the disrespect and overloaded with the responsibility and mocking whispers of his incompetence (“What sort of leader can be trusted to control a clan when he cannot even control one person?” “Maybe Hanzo is the wrong choice, maybe the position should go to someone else.” “Why does the leader let his brother debauch the Shimada name? Is he looking for the family to fall?”)

「When will you stop being a child? You have all that you could want here--power, respect, wealth--why leave? If you took your position seriously, we could rule all of Japan, we could have an empire.」

Hanzo was tired, Genji could see it in the way his tensed shoulders slumped, could hear it in his voice. He didn’t look like the proud dragon he’s always boasted himself to be. He looked like the shadow of their father. But only that--just a shadow. 

A dragon stays within its castle walls. Mighty as it is, it will only ever know its palace and the bottom of the sea. A sparrow, though small and insignificant, can make a home anywhere and fly anywhere, free of obligation. Though the name was supposed to make fun of Genji, he thinks it’s probably the best thing his father has ever said about him. 

「I don’t want any of that. I want to be a sparrow.」Hanzo snarled, a hateful look crossing his face.「And a sparrow does not belong in a crumbling castle.」

「This Shimada castle, crumbling? Foolish.」

「Which of us is really the foolish one, brother?」

It was one of the last things he said to his brother before the night Hanzo decided to end everything. In a way, Genji almost became a dragon again--consumed by hate and revenge, he was trapped in a crumbling castle known as his mind. 

But now, things are different. He is different.

Genji takes a thoughtful sip of his cider and waves the bottle at the scenery before them. 

“My father, Sojiro, called me that as an insult.” He meets McCree’s sudden incredulous look with a cheeky grin. “I’ve grown to like it.”