#i will never forget the greif i felt visiting the graves and memorial

[phobic-human]

Never forget the Wounded Knee Massacre of December 29, 1890. One of the most heinous atrocities ever committed on the soil of Turtle Island. Over 300 women, children and men, including Cheif Uŋpȟáŋ Glešká or " Big Foot", were annihilated in the deadliest mass shooting in "u.s." history.

"I did not know then how much was ended. When I look back now from this high hill of my old age, I can still see the butchered women and children lying heaped and scattered all along the crooked gulch as plain as when I saw them with eyes still young. And I can see that something else died there in the bloody mud, and was buried in the blizzard. A people's dream died there. It was a beautiful dream. And I, to whom so great a vision was given in my youth, — you see me now a pitiful old man who has done nothing, for the nation's hoop is broken and scattered. There is no center any longer, and the sacred tree is dead.

— Heȟáka Sápa " Black Elk" (1863–1950), medicine man, Oglala Lakota

[ducknotinarow]

Me and @/madamkezzie were taking some angst and they brought up a what if situation first response was quick the send was more a drabble They also did one for thier charater Bailey (WHICH BROKE MY HEART THANKS)  These what ifs are  1. If bailey died before Richard got to admit his feelings, I did a more quick answer for that 2. If Bailey died and they were in their relationship this one was more a drabble response since it gave more emotional depth  

What if Bailey died and Richard never got to say he loved them

Richard never got to tell Bailey how he felt and now its too late, he can't change that and he'll never understand why Bailey ran, blame himself thinking it was his fault. He caused Bailey to do this.

He was right he would have only hurt Bailey, and he has no one to really turn because well he's kind of isolated yeah there's Val but she's never seen him emotional and he never wants her too

Just mentally breaking down and grows even more isolated than before, cause now Bailey is this love he can never really get over. He likes to visit baileys grave and everytime he dose he stays all day and even cries because he's filled with so much remorse so much regret. Thinking if he had just said those words would things be different? Bailey did feel the same in the end, those words may have been something Bailey needed to hear. But all Richard has is what ifs and maybes because he'll never be able to find out

What if Bailey died while in a relationship with them

In a relationship richard was happy, actually happy. Bailey brought this light into his life that he didnt know he was missing. Everyday with Bailey was the best, the flirting the affection even just having bailey sitting in his lap well he worked he didnt mind because bailey was his world and he loved him.

But then Bailey was gone. Richard's world was gone. But everything else kept going on as if Bailey never existed, but richard only sees the evidence of that roosters existence. Everywhere he gose, at home, at work everything thing reminds richard of his lost love.

He has all thier text messages save, and old voice mails. Hell listen to them every night before bed but his sleeping habits got bad, since Bailey wasn't there anymore, because he sees the rooster in his dreams every night only to have to wake up in a word where he's gone.

Its sad but his phone holds all he has left of bailey. Photos too that he'll look over and smile at his last bit of joy. Even outdated he keeps it just for all those memories.

Hes clouded and lost in his griff just going on automode he stopped making coffee, hired more staff and just manges now.

One day a worker accidently gets his phone wet and it won't turn on. He lost that last thing that he had to physically feel as if Bailey was still there and now that is gone, he snaps and yells and hollers at the worker. Val has to step him and send him home.

Things go back to normal the next day but he dosent wanna speak to any one, as time gose on he slowly lets all the pent up greif get to him because he starting to forget what baileys voice sounded like. He starts working from home on days its too hard, but soon can't bring himself to leave home at all, reduced to becoming a shut in again because he can't live in world with out Bailey, not when it took it from him like it did.