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searchingwardrobes · 4 years

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First of all, I know it seems like I have abandoned my fanfic writing, but I promise you, that isn’t true. I was actually working on I Promise to Kiss You the other night, and I am SO close to posting that final chapter! BUT, I must confess that Josiah and Kate from my book The One Who Sees Me have just been invading my muse. Tuesday night, this story just poured out of me.

I talked about this on my Facebook Live, but one part of Josiah’s personality that was really important to me was that he is safe. A man being safe is almost a bad word in rom-coms and romance novels, but it shouldn’t be. Men should absolutely be safe. Women should feel safe in their arms, safe sharing their hearts, safe enough to completely be themselves. So here is a story told from Josiah’s point of view in which he ponders how important it is to him that his wife feel safe. Oh, and some fluffy marital bliss and domesticity.

Rated: M for a married couple being open and free about sex, I guess, just to be safe, but it’s only discussed, not portrayed

Words: 1,300 and some change

Oh, and you can get a copy of The One Who Sees Me here , if you’re interested.

Tagging some who might be interested or at least humor me when it comes to my babies from Lightport : @snowbellewells @teamhook @xhookswenchx @kmomof4 @hookedonapirate @ilovemesomekillianjones @reynoldsreads @whimsicallyenchantedrose @welllpthisishappening @wellhellotragic @optomisticgirl @spartanguard @ekr032-blog-blog @jrob64 @ultraluckycatnd @superchocovian @bethacaciakay @distant-rose @klynn-stormz @carpedzem @cheerynoir

Josiah Barrett was distracted. Not because he didn’t want to hear his wife tell him about her day. On the contrary, he looked forward to reconnecting over dinner. Or reconnecting as much as a one year old flinging peas on the floor allowed. He honestly didn’t understand men who complained about their wives always wanting to talk. There was no one he enjoyed having a conversation with more than Kate. It had always been that way.

No, he was distracted because his head was full of plans for Valentine’s Day. A few months ago, he and Kate had purchased a “rekindle the romance kit” recommended in a couple’s devotional they were reading together. Not that he felt in the least that the spark was gone. Kate turned him on just walking into the room at times. It was just that ever since Haley was born, they found they had to be more intentional when it came to their relationship. Hence scheduled date nights, the couple’s devotional . . .

And the romance “kit.”

The rule of the kit was simple - open an envelope and follow the instructions to create a romantic moment with your spouse. No excuses, no skipping cards, no matter how awkward it made you feel. The pink cards were for the husband to do for his wife while the red cards were for the wife to do for her husband. They usually took turns planning their dates using the cards, but for Valentine’s Day, they had both opened one. That’s what had Josiah so distracted.

He couldn’t stop mulling over his plans for the next evening. While he and Kate shared dinner at a restaurant, his brother was going to decorate their car like he had on their wedding day. Only, instead of “just married,” Micah was going to write “happily married.” On the way home, Josiah was going to take a detour to Founder’s Park, where he had proposed all those years ago and dance with Kate just like he had then to “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias - their song.

Kate was going to love it, and he was giddy with excitement.

A loud, clattering sound startled him out of his reverie. Haley squealed loudly and slapped the tray of her high chair. Josiah laughed.

“She threw her sippy cup. Again.”

He glanced at Kate as he bent to retrieve the cup. She was staring nervously at her plate, pushing peas around with her fork.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I haven’t been listening, have I?”

She gave him a wane smile. “It’s not that. I know teething isn’t exactly a riveting topic.”

Haley took the cup from his hand and started sucking down the water inside. Good - maybe they had a minute or two reprieve from the cup throwing game.

“What is it then?”

Kate bit her lip and blinked as if holding back tears. After a long pause, she blurted out, “I can’t do it!”

He frowned with concern. “Do what?”

She dropped her fork with a clatter and pressed both hands to her face. “The card,” she mumbled behind her fingers, “for Valentine’s Day.”

He said nothing, trying to process her words. Haley fussed, and on auto-pilot, he sprinkled some snack puffs onto the high chair tray to distract her.

Kate ran her hands through her hair as she looked up at him. “I know it says not to skip cards, but I can’t, Josiah. I just can’t.”

Now he was alarmed. He was always careful to be a patient and tender lover with Kate, knowing she had been victimized in her young, innocent years. The cards for wives were always sexual in nature, but it was a Christian product, so nothing had been inappropriate. So far, anyway. Kate had been emboldened by the cards to get past her shyness: dancing for him, initiating sex, making love in unique places around the house, but none of it ever seemed to upset her. She would blush and giggle, and he would assure her that he found her incredibly sexy, but he had never seen her afraid.

Was she afraid? That was one thing he never, ever wanted her to feel with him.

He realized he had been quiet for too long when she started speaking again in a hurried, nervous tone. “It just grosses me out. I mean, the thought of doing it makes me physically repulsed. Can I please pick another card? Or just do my own thing?”

Good Lord above, what was on this card?

“What does it want you to do?” he whispered, then he inwardly berated himself.

It shouldn’t matter, you idiot! She clearly doesn’t feel comfortable doing it!

“It wants me to let you . . . “ she hesitated for a beat, then blurted out, “eat fruit off my

body!”

At first, he was rendered speechless. That had not been what he had expected. Well, he wasn’t really sure what he’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t fruit.

“It’s just so . . . sticky,” she added, wrinkling her nose in an adorable way.

Then he couldn’t help it - he burst out laughing. Haley startled, dropped her cup again, then joined her Daddy with gleeful belly laughs despite having no clue what was so funny. At first Kate gaped at him, which only made him laugh more. Soon, she was chuckling too. They laughed and laughed until tears rolled down their cheeks and they could scarcely breathe.

“Fruit?” he finally gasped. “You had me so worried, and then it’s all about fruit?”

“Don’t laugh,” she giggled. She rolled her eyes at him and tossed a wadded up napkin at his head. “You know how I feel about food fights.”

He did. Every time they saw one on TV or in a movie, it grossed her out. The thought of ketchup in her hair or mashed potatoes down her shirt made her shiver with revulsion. “You know somebody has to clean that up,” she would always say.

“Come here,” he told her, opening up his arms. She blushed sheepishly as she rose from her chair and rounded the kitchen table. She curled up on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Kate,” he told her, brushing her hair off her forehead and tucking it behind her ear, “all I need is you to be perfectly satisfied. If anything - anything at all - makes you feel uncomfortable, please tell me. I never want you to feel that way when we’re intimate, even if it’s just something like sticky fruit.”

She smiled down at him, cupping his jaw with one hand, a picture of perfect contentment. Just as he longed for her to feel with him.

“I love you,” she lowered her lips to his and kissed him thoroughly, running her fingers through his hair.

“I love you too,” he replied huskily when she finally pulled away.

“My alternate plan is to feed you chocolate covered strawberries.”

“I like that plan.”

She kissed him again, but then they were interrupted by Haley’s squeals. The sight of their daughter had them both laughing again.

“Sweetheart,” Josiah told his wife, “I don’t think our daughter shares your opinion on food fights.”

Their one year old had mashed up her peas and then rubbed it into her hair. With a half chuckle, half groan, Kate got off Josiah’s lap and went to unbuckle their daughter from her high chair.

“Which would you rather clean?” he asked his wife. “The chair or the baby?”

“The baby, definitely.”

He watched his wife, her strawberry blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head, no makeup, clad in yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt. She balanced their daughter on her hip as she wiped tiny hands and cheeks with a baby wipe. Her smile was bright and her eyes sparkled as she spoke lovingly to their child. Despite the messy peas still in the tiny girl’s fine hair, Kate pressed a sloppy kiss to the baby’s freshly wiped, chubby cheek, making Haley giggle. Josiah’s heart swelled with love for this woman: his best friend, his wife, the mother of his child. He stepped forward and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

“What was that for?” she asked him.

“Like I said, I just need you.”

#my writing #my original writing #the one who sees me #the front row series #josiah and kate

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

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Heya Steph! I was wondering, you have so many fic rec lists and read so many, do you have on or a few johnlock fics you could always reread? Like, they are that good you can read them over and over...

Hi Lovely!!

AHHHHHH ACTUALLY, I’ve made a list for this before, but you know what? IT NEEDS A PART TWO because I actually pulled a lot of fics off of it to keep it shorter, so WHEE THANK YOU for giving me a reason to share even more of the fics I ALWAYS go back and never tire of!!

Top 30 Read-Again Fics (March 2019)

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Ten Fave Short Johnlock Fics (Easy Reads April 2018)

25 Fave Johnlock One Shots (April 2018)

Top 10 Fave Fics (September 2018)

Another Top 10 Fave Fics (June 2019)

Two To Tango (The Cold Hands, Warm Heart Remix) by igrockspock (T, 1,207 w., 1 Ch. || Domestics, John Whump, Worried Sherlock) – When John is wounded while pursuing a suspect, Sherlock refuses to leave his side.

Take My Hand, Knot Your Fingers Through Mine by patster223 (K+, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || H/C & Friendship, Whump) - "I know this is an inconvenience for you, but I would really rather you were awake right now, John." John is unconscious, and Sherlock decides to talk to him anyway. Sherlock/John pre-slash.

Let Go by thisisforyou (G, 2,743 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Fluff, Anxious / Worried Sherlock) – In the end, separating John's things from Sherlock's in the chaos of their sitting room is like pulling a limpet from a wet rock. Especially when the rock is clinging on for dear life, because Sherlock doesn't want to let go. Short, fluffy h/c Johnlock oneshot.

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

Measuring Damage With the Fujita Scale by teahigh (T, 3,548 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Vacation / Holidays, Friends to Lovers, Bed-Sharing, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Angsty Fluff, Scars, Awkward Talks) – John goes back into town, into the storm, and Sherlock realises he forgot to say, “I just want to be alone with you.”

Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still.

Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddles, Kissing, First Kiss, Requited Love, Pining Sherlock) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he's pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.

In Which "John" Becomes a Synonym for "Help" by asignoftwo (T, 7,391 w., 1 Ch. || Injured John, Worried Sherlock, Fluff) – After the fall Sherlock returns to Baker Street and is reunited with John. When John is injured on a case Sherlock is faced with the reality that he could lose John again, and it tears him apart.

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

I can’t pretend by Salambo06 (E, 7,692 w., 1 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Victor Trevor, Jealous John, Miscommunications, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Anal, BJs) – They had arrived more than a hour ago, and the moment they had walked inside the hotel reception, John had understood why Sherlock hadn’t wanted to come. Two men, posh suits and expensive watches on their wrists, had come to greet them with sharp remarks and badly hidden mockery, and John had seen red. Sherlock hadn’t said anything, mostly ignoring the two men entirely, and without thinking twice about it, John had slid an arm around Sherlock’s waist and introduced himself as his husband.

Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson By Jessa7 (T, 8,085 w., 1 Ch. || Romance / Humour) – Mycroft is just as much of a genius as Sherlock is. He keeps randomly kidnapping John for chats, and the locations get better. Cue Sherlock’s younger sibling complex rearing up and jealousy ensues.

High Tide by stardust_made (T, 8,540 w., 1 Ch. || Jealousy, Angst, First Kiss) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, affluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it. Part 1 of The High Tide Series

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, 9,020 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Rel., Friends to Lovers, Humour, Romance, Smut) – What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game. Of course it's for a case. Of course it doesn't stay that way. Part 8 of I Blame Tumblr

The Devil You Know by PipMer (T, 9,300 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Romance, Holmes Brothers, Jealous Sherlock) – The Holmes brothers are behaving oddly. John is dazed and confused. In other words, it's business as usual at 221B Baker Street. Except when it’s not.

Drive by lifeonmars (M, 9,537 w., 1 Ch. || Virginity, Awkward First Times, Minor Injuries) – John and Sherlock are stranded by the roadside, and John is injured. They need to spend the night in the back of a humvee. Sherlock is confused. John is understanding.

Their Great Reward by BeautifulFiction (T, 10,095 w., 1 Ch. || UST, First Kiss, Fluff) – Boxing day, in John's opinions, is the worst day of the year. Christmas is over, the tree is wilting and stripped of gifts, and there's a week of dead-time until the clean slate of the new year. However the combination of a blizzard, a power-cut and Sherlock might just make it a day to remember.

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii (T, 11,052 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock || Angels / Demons, Supernatural Elements, Occult) – Where Mycroft is an angel, Sherlock is a demon, and John is still John.

The River Variations by withoutawish (T, 11,619 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmates, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Three Garridebs, Romance, Light Case Fic, Near Death Experience, Angst and Fluff, Dark Humour) – John Watson never knew that he wanted a ‘no toast in the mornings’ normal until he realized what an honor it is to be destroyed by Sherlock Holmes.

Pleasure to Burn by scullyseviltwin (E, 17,863 w., 1 Ch. || Firefighter AU, Firefighter John / Arson Investigator Sherlock, Slow Burn, Pining, Case Fic-ish) – “If you’d kindly stop knocking about in there and destroying all of my evidence, it would be most appreciated!” John groaned and for a moment rested his head against the side of the truck. Of course he was the only captain left on the scene, which meant he would have to be the one to deal with the arson investigator.

Checkmate to a Castled King by LaSuen (T, 18,290 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt / Comfort, Sick Sherlock, Rev. Reich.) - John dies. Or at least everyone thinks he does.

Vena Cava by SilentAuror (E, 27,452 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix-It, Romance, H/C, Angst, Infidelity) – Sherlock has been shot in the chest; John has been shot in the heart. Though everything is broken, they do their best to heal the wounds that Mary left on them both.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

There's Someone On Your Shoulder by halloa_what_is_this (NR, 41,215 w., 6 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Daydreams, Sherlock Loves John So Much it Hurts) – Sherlock trips and falls head over heels in love, makes a lot of lists and stares, stares, stares.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || Established, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis, Happy-ish Ending) –After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #fave fics #e-rated fics #astudyinconsultingdetective #long post

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deckerstarwrites · 5 years

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wanted plots for my 1x1 blog @mostpxculiar as well as fcs I’d like to play/play opposite to. please like this post, or dm me if you’d like to discuss any of these plots further! tw: nsfw/smut plots cheating, pregnancy, murder/blood, under the cut.

plots i want, but also please come at me with plots YOU want!

a plot based off of fleabag/hot priest from fleabag

someone should give me a plot with this big bad gang leader and his super soft and cute girlfriend that has him wrapped around her finger. like he’s a feared man, which she doesn’t really care about. and she’s there to patch him up and while he usually tries to hide her away from the cruel world he’s in whenever he isn’t there with her, she just patiently waits for him when he’s out and about doing his business and he’s so fascinated by her and no matter how much of a bad guy he is, he’s just so soft for her and he’d do anything for her!!! and then his most precious possession gets kidnaped and shit goes down snsnsns (m/f, f/f)

f/f plot where a snobby, graceful, poised and rich prima ballerina falls in love with a reckless pole dancer who is super hot with a 6 pack and colourful hair and the girls are total polar opposites pls hmu

a plot where muse a just needs to get away from everything so she packs up everything into her small shitty car that barley runs and just drives. she loses count of the boarders she crossed until she lands right into the middle of a small town where the population is like 2 thousand and her car breaks down. so she goes into a diner that she sees is open and she asks about a mechanic so the lady in the diner calls up her friend who happens to be muse b, the local mechanic. so muse b comes over and tells her that he wont be able to check her car out until morning bc its like 10 pm now so muse a is going to check into a motel or smth but muse b offers to put her up for the night and bc shes broke she says yeah and basically they end up banging with the intention that after tomorrow they are never gonna see each other again - wrong. muse b goes down to his shop and looks at the engine and a really important parts gone in it and its going to take a couple weeks for it to come in and basically muse a has to stay in this shitty small town for the next couple of weeks AND THEY FALL FOR EACH OTHER AND WE CAN FIGURE THE REST OUT! (m/f, f/f)

I really want a one night stand where she snuck out before he woke up and he tried looking her up but he didn’t even know her full name, so he moved on. Move on years down the road and he’s just gotten engaged and at the engagement part he’s introduced to her sister that’s been living overseas for the past few days, but who is it, that girl from all those years ago. Better yet, meet her child, wait, why do they his eyes.

modern hades and persephone where persephone is a tired college student and when she finds out the god of the underworld wants to make her his bride she’s like “become queen of the dead AND never have to go to an 8 AM lecture again, not to mention watch with popcorn as my ex dies and finds out my new boyfriend is his new king? YES PLZ” and just fucking swandives down into the underworld and hades is like “…i had a carriage prepared but okay that works too”

plot three. six months ago he let the nanny give him head. he has been avoiding talking to her since, and is really flustered. she is a full time, live in nanny in their giant mansion. i’m getting a ‘living in england’ vibe, but i’m not sure. he has 3-4 kids running around with his wife of years. the nanny can’t stand the wife, but is obviously polite. his wife is bitchy, whiny, and all she cares is about appearances. who cares if you’re actually happy? just play happy. pretend to be happy. the nanny loves to fluster him when the wife isn’t home. she’ll wear short outfits, lean over, not wear underwear, forget to wear a bra. it was a holiday. so they invited the nanny to eat dinner with them. she starts rubbing him under the table. later on that day, he pulls the nanny to the side into the bathroom or something to tell her that she had to cut it out and that it was a one time thing. out of the blue - he kisses her hard. just give me lots of behind the wives back, and maybe she gets pregnant down the line?

ok but i need a plot where there’s these two idiots who are roommates, and they bicker and act like a married couple constantly, and can hang out like bros but they’re completely platonic, no we’re not in love that’s preposterous!! and it’s so evident that they’re into each other like whenever one goes out on a date, the other is all bitter like ‘no i’m definitely not jealous’. and they like leave bars together at some stupidly early hour and their friends tease them and they just go home and get drunk together instead. and like domestic washing the dishes and fighting over who does what and flinging soap at each other. and then one day it kind of just clicks, you know, like wow you’re my best friend but i think i might love you as more this is so difficult and just, give this to me now. (m/f, f/f)

not to be dramatic or anything but i really want a sugar daddy/sugar baby plot where the muse a is “ happily ” married ceo of a big company with shit tons of money and muse a goes out to a local bar just to chill when they meet muse b. ofc they hit it off and go in muse a’s car and fuck all night and in the morning muse a offers muse b a proposition, if muse b agrees to be muse a’s mistress then muse a will give muse b anything they want starting their sugar baby/sugar daddy relationship. it’s all good until muse a sees muse b all over another guy and looses it and gets into a huge fight with muse b that ends with muse a fucking muse b up against his car and yea gimmie this smut i need sneaky around and sexting while around his wife nd getting him riled up like yes pls thank

bloody , murderous & psychotic couples who love killing people for the thrill and make out with bloody lips and high five each other by the mountains of dead bodies they made . fuckyeah ? give me this crazy shit . serial killer couples . vampire couples . dark romeo & juliet couples . modern au persephone & hades couples . couples who compete to see who kills the most or the most gruesome . give me gore . give me bloodshed . GIVE IT TO ME ! (m/f, f/f) (focusing a lot on hades/persephone, vampires but willing to go the bonnie and clyde or serial killer route)

no offense but i need a messy exes plot where they can’t get over one another no matter what they do and they always tell themselves they’re not gonna go back to them yet every time they get done with a date they end up knocking on the other person’s door and just jealousy and angst and heartbreak and crying because they don’t know if this is ever going to work out but they can’t walk away because this person is still their whole fucking world and they don’t know how to move on (m/f, f/f)

faceclaims I’d like to play and play against or both but also literally come at me with your fcs!!!

Inbar Lavi

Tom Ellis

Lauren German

Sophia Bush

Trevante Rhodes

Zoe Saldana

Madelaine Petsch

Camila Mendes

Lesley Ann Brandt

Manny Montana

Diane Guerrero

Adria Arjona

Ana De Arms

Aisha Dee

Chris Evans

Ryan Gosling

John Krazinski

Matt Czuchry

Lana Condor

Elizabeth Lail

Anya Charlotra

Victoria Pedretti

Zazie Beetz

Shay Mitchell

Candice Patton

Margot Robbie

Florence Pugh

Lucy Liu

Jodie Comer

Katie Mcgrath

Justin Baldoni

Indya Moore

Oscar Isaac

Matthew Daddario

Tessa Thompson

#[[wanted plot]]#[[wanted opposite]]#[[wanted fc]]#1x1 rp #1x1

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postmodernismruinedme · 6 years

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As we’re coming up to the two year anniversary of the post that made me famous and led to the new favourite characterization of Legolas as a “baby gay dudebro redneck of the elves”, I feel I should write a follow up based on my flippant agreement to this adorable phrase.

So, I have come to answer a question that has sort of floated in tags since then. Is Legolas actually gay?

And the answer, my friends, is “well, he’s not not gay.”

If Tolkien had the words to describe it today, I would bet good money on him dubbing Legolas as an aromantic asexual, which would be fitting as him being an aro-ace...you know, because of the archery? Ha ha? Please clap.

My argument for this is mostly literary analysis, an understanding of Catholic theology at the time, and a question of demographics. Now of course, the minute I say this, I’m going to have a bunch of people jumping in saying that Legolas is a lesser Glorfindel or a recycled version of the Second Age hero with the same name. For those who say this, a very small part of me might slightly concede but the rest of me says HOW DARE YOU SPEAK THAT WAY ABOUT MY BOY.

So, the literary analysis or as I like to call it “There’s Something About Legolas.” For one thing, Legolas’ lineage is surprisingly empty considering Tolkien wrote the family trees of like everyone ever. We get Oropher - Thranduil - Legolas. That’s it. Now many would argue it’s unlikely he’s Thranduil’s only son as he basically spends his time...well, being Legolas. The other thing that is super weird here is that A) No spouses/wives are known and B) Legolas isn’t married. The first can be explained with Tolkien just never filling it in because women do sometimes go missing in his stuff, sure. The second is a bit weirder because the vast majority of elves do get married and get married before 200. And our boy is a baby, but he’s at least 500. Usually when we get a character like this, there are three possible explanations A) they have no interest in being married or B) Their spouse is significantly younger than them (like my homegirl Arwen being her hot cougar self) or C) they’re going to get killed off. But Legolas never gets married, not even when a large majority of the Fellowship spends their Happily Ever After in happy domestic bliss. Besides Gandalf being well exempt from the whole mortal thing, we have exactly three who do not get married.

1) Frodo - like, I could write a whole other thing on his romantic life and I’m not the expert in our good good boy so I’ll let someone else do that

2) Gimli - demographically, my main man had less than a 33% chance of getting married to a nice dwarven girl. This is not a cultural norm for him so it’s really not weird for this to have worked out the way it did.

3) LEGOLAS - what the heck? Heir to kingdom? Race who is so into marriage they can look at someone and know if they’ve been banging? What? How is this man still on the market?

So then the question becomes this: if Tolkien gave Legolas an exemption from the usual Happily Ever After of wife, babies, healthy happy home life, what is his good life after the war? For Frodo, we get mostly him being a happy uncle and just getting to live that sweet Hobbit life. For Gimli, he gets the best dang caves in the world and gets to make his own settlement and has like the best dwarven life ever. And my argument is that for Legolas, that happily ever after is Gimli. Even in an original draft, Galadriel’s message to Legolas was not warning him about hearing the sound of the sea but that he and Gimli were going on a road trip together post war. And of course we get the whole no greater love piece describing Gimli going with him to the undying lands. There are so many lines and references to them either going where the other goes or dying by the other’s side. Like, if you’ve made it this far, I’m preaching to the choir. Tolkien lays it out for us. This is one of the most important friendships and relationships of the Third/Fourth Age. They love each other and even the laws of mortality are not going to keep them apart because everyone gets a happy ending, gosh darn it. JRR doesn’t let his boys down.

Okay, I’m not saying they are canonically gay for each other. Well, I am a little, but not in the hypersexualized M/M smutty way you might be thinking. Tolkien was a huge fan of using romantic friendship in his work, which is a really old literary tradition and honestly a big thing in real life we should be giving more credit to because it’s the best. By that I mean that he did not view romantic love as being vastly superior to the love between friends. And like that makes sense? Tolkien’s life, in many ways, was inundated with this. As a soldier, Tolkien was part of a military culture that encouraged men to view each other as brothers. As a Catholic, same thing and his theology/philosophy even encouraged the study of the four different types of loves. And even his adult life was filled with close friendships between men. Heck, LOTR would not have been written if it weren’t for his bros just yelling at him to get ‘er done.

Now don’t get me wrong, Tolkien was head over heels in love with his wife. Like disgustingly, adorably in love with his wife. It was just that he had different types of loves in his life and he recognized that these relationships were all important. I honestly believe that Legolas’ and Gimli’s relationship was written with this in mind. I think if Tolkien was to have the words we have now, they would be in a queer platonic relationship because they are not in love in the same way as say Arwen and Aragorn. There is no pining, no lust, no need for romantic love and marriage and babies. But they are soulmates. They belong together. And clearly our boy Legolas has been waiting for him before he can sail off into the sunset.

tl;dr Legolas is a weird elf. The traditional elven narrative of a happy ending wouldn’t work for him so it makes complete sense that he would be in a QPR with Gimli. He’s definitely aro-ace. Tolkien didn’t have the words for this and was writing them in the literary tradition of romantic friendship but he would totally have my back. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#legolas #personal #ramblings #aromantic #asexual #queer platonic romance #gimli #gimli son of gloin #legolas greenleaf #lord of the rings #J.R.R. Tolkien #tolkien #buff legolas #gigolas #gimli x legolas

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relationshipadviser-blog · 5 years

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Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/

Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

For 19 years, the former Eternal star gave up everything to play housewife to her famous footballer husband. So what does it feel like to have walked out on that life and reinvented herself?

The night before I meet Louise Redknapp, I go to see her in her latest West End show, 9 to 5 The Musical. She plays Violet, the character made famous by Lili Tomlin in the classic 1980 film, and in many ways the most obviously feminist character in the story. Redknapp herself is very enjoyable to watch, stomping around the stage, furiously pointing out that men get promotions for laughing at the bosss jokes while she is not even thanked for making the coffee. But, not long ago, this casting would have seemed bizarre.

Redknapp has been in the public eye for a quarter of a century, but she has never exactly been associated with feminism. After studying at the Italia Conti stage school, Louise Nurding, as she was then known, shot to fame at the age of 18 in the early 90s girl group Eternal, and then cemented her celebrity status by achieving that ultimate 90s ambition, marrying a footballer Jamie Redknapp, the son of manager Harry. Their telegenic union the pretty pop star and equally pretty sports star predated the Beckhams, but the Redknapps were a less flashy proposition. When their first child was born, in 2004, she quit her by then solo music career to live in what she frequently described as domestic bliss. Redknapp came across as sweet, unthreatening and a bit bland, and seemed destined for a contented life as a Surrey housewife with her two sons, Charley, now 14, and Beau, 10, living among the footballing dynasty. But then, in 2017, Redknapp did something that no one expected: she walked out of her marriage.

I meet Redknapp, 44, in a room in the Savoy hotel in London, just above the theatre where she is appearing in 9 to 5. As well as performing tonight, she will spend the afternoon finishing work on her upcoming album, Heavy Love, her first in 18 years, which will be released in October. Whatever emotional toll her divorce which was finalised in December 2017 has exacted on her, it has certainly motivated, or freed, her professionally.

Redknapp as Violet Newstead (centre) with Natalie McQueen and Amber Davies in 9 to 5 The Musical. Photograph: Simon Turtle

In tight black trousers, ankle boots and a loose dark top, her hair long and highlighted in various shades of gold and auburn, she looks almost identical to how she did in her pop heyday. She embraces me with the easy warmth of one who is very practised in the art of making strangers like her.

Did you see the show last night? Did you like it? Its fun, right? Oh good, Im so glad. You liked it, right? she says with more nervousness than I had expected: she was the one, after all, who chose a new storyline, and walked away.

We talk about the show, and Redknapp eagerly brings up how timely its revival is, off the back of the #MeToo movement. She insists she never experienced any sexual harassment when she was working as a 90s pop star and appearing in mens magazines: Maybe because I was so young, she suggests, which isnt the most credible reason. Or maybe because [Eternal] were so successful so quickly, so the record company cocooned us, she adds, which seems more plausible.

And yet she does feel a personal connection to 9 to 5: You know, its about female empowerment and I think Im at a stage of my life when I really need that, to stand up and be strong, she says.

Although Redknapp makes frequent references during our conversation to her gang of girlfriends, seeing her onstage the night before was the first time I had seen her surrounded by women since her Eternal days. For the past 20 years, whenever she was photographed she was invariably with her husband. I tell her it always surprised me that she was never part of the group of high-profile wives and girlfriends of other footballers, given how ready-made she seemed for that role. But she was never photographed out having a laugh with Colleen Rooney and Cheryl Cole. I think Jamie, being that slightly bit more old school, didnt want any of that. His sport is what comes first, no circus around it. So I just kept to myself, she says.

When Redknapp confirmed, in September 2017, that her seemingly perfect marriage was over, the circus around the two of them could hardly have been more hysterical. While the British public is very used to footballers leaving their wives, no one seemed to know what to make of the narrative being reversed.

It was more mutual than that but, yes, I moved out, she says, carefully, when I ask if she initiated the divorce. She was followed by battalions of paparazzi every night and the celebrity press tutted at her late nights on the town (to the theatre, where, at the time, she was starring in Cabaret).

With Jamie Redknapp in 2010, seven years before they split up. Photograph: Paul Grover/Rex/Shutterstock

At around the same time, Wayne Rooney was accused, again, of infidelity when he was caught drink driving with a young woman who was not his wife. But whereas Rooneys actions were treated with a benign just-Wayne-being-Wayne shrug by the public, Redknapp was nationally castigated for having a midlife crisis and abandoning her children. Did she notice the disparity between the coverage of the two stories?

I did. I felt it. And I felt really, really bullied. It made me want to scream. Just because I went back to work and my marriage wasnt working out doesnt mean I wasnt with my kids, she says with a rod of fury in her voice. And, yeah, when I was in Cabaret I wasnt putting them to bed every night, but its no different to a man in the City working late.

Or Jamie doing late-night football commentary? Yeah, on A League of Their Own. Jamie would then take the kids on holiday and the papers would say: Oh, what an amazing dad. And he is an amazing dad; I cannot say a bad word about Jamie when it comes to being a dad. But no one patted me on the back when Id taken the kids on Easter holiday on my own for the past 10 years. Jamie had to work doing the football, it was school holidays, so Id take them on holiday and never once did anyone say: What a great mum. It was really tough sitting back and not speaking up.

There was such widespread bafflement at Redknapps decision to leave her marriage that there was inevitable speculation about why. Many cited Strictly Come Dancing, on which Redknapp had appeared the previous year, and its record of ending relationships. Strictly put the fire back in my belly, but it didnt break up my relationship. After 20 years of marriage, it takes a lot more than that, scoffs Redknapp.

It was also suggested that Redknapp was having an affair with the model Daisy Lowe, who had appeared on Strictly with her. Redknapp reels back against the sofa when I mention this.

I really think the double standards were coming into play there, she says. Because people were adamant there had to be a specific reason for you leaving your husband? She nods: Yeah, and Daisy and I only went out together four times or something. So the idea [that I left my husband for Lowe] I remember my kids saying: Mum, are you going out with Daisy Lowe? And I had to say: Guys, no. I became peoples morning entertainment while they read their paper on the train and ate their croissant. I tried to laugh it off, but the damage these stories were doing to me and those around me was huge.

Redknapp or Louise Nurding as she was then with her Eternal bandmates in 1994. Photograph: Tony Larkin/Rex/Shutterstock

In order to understand the end of a marriage it is necessary to understand its beginnings and, for all the lurid speculation, the path that led the Redknapps to divorce was all too prosaic. When they married in 1998, she was at least as big a star as him, but she happily gave up her music career to be a wife and mother: It took me so long to get pregnant the first time four years so I was just so in love with my little boy, she says. And, for the first seven or eight years, it was quite nice to not have to worry about where your records going, or if people like you. But as time went on, Id drop the kids off at school, go home, walk the dogs and then go home and think: I have five hours until school pick-up. Thats a long day. It was fine when they were young, because Id pick them up at 12. Then it changed; theyre at school and doing sport, Jamie was doing his thing, and there was pure panic. I was lonely and I felt like I had nothing to say.

Redknapp and her ex-husband have been careful in speaking only positively of one another throughout their divorce, but hints of other narratives shine through the cracks. She refers to him as a family man and their marriage as traditional, and while he grew up in a close, old-fashioned family, she was the daughter of a very independent working mum, and, yes, maybe subconsciously, she agrees, that might have created some problems between them. She was not a football fan (No, never, she says, firmly and proudly), so I ask if it was ever a tiny bit dull being ensconced with the Redknapps, given that her then husband, father-in-law and husbands cousin, Frank Lampard, are all football royalty. I think I just got used to it, she says with a winning smile.

Redknapps explanation about the split is that she had low self-esteem and didnt feel able to say she wanted to start working again, and in no way was that her ex-husbands fault. I wish Id spoken up and said how I felt, but I thought everyone would think I was nuts and say: Why are you low? Look at you, youre so lucky.

But if you had spoken up, would Jamie have been OK with you going back on the stage and in the studio? She pauses: I dont know. But at least Id have known I tried, she says.

So it was easier to leave than to say anything? Her voice drops: Maybe. We women dont make it easy for ourselves.

Given Strictlys record of ending relationships, I ask if she agreed to be on the show because she saw it as a way out of her marriage. You know, I like to think no. I like to think not at all. I think I just went into Strictly looking for something to do.

These days, Jamie still lives in the Surrey family home and Redknapp is a few minutes away and they share custody of their children. It is clear that she feels liberated by her divorce, so I ask if she plans to revert to her maiden name. She looks poleaxed by the suggestion. Ummm no. Its such a mum thing, but the thought of not having the same name as my kids, I could cry thinking about it. But maybe if Jamie gets married Id have to change it I dont know how that works, she says with an anxious giggle.

This leads us to talking about dating, and whereas Jamie has been photographed with several women, Redknapp has remained single. Its really hard for women. Im beginning to think Im never going to meet anyone Ive not been out for a meal, just me and a guy in a restaurant, in two years. That makes me sound really sad, doesnt it?

It takes a while to get over a 19-year marriage. Yeah, I think its easier for men, she says.

With her dance partner Kevin Clifton on Strictly Come Dancing in 2016. Photograph: PA/Guy Levy/BBC

It doesnt upset her when she sees her ex-husband out with other women (But, yes, of course, its hard for the boys. I tell them, Dads a single man and hes doing nothing wrong, she says). Sometimes, though, it is a bit strange. The day before we meet, he was photographed with the British model Lizzie Bowden, who was widely described in the press as a Louise Redknapp lookalike. It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, Do they look like me? But hes got his taste, she says with a shrug.

I like Redknapp. Yes, she has that tendency, common to graduates of stage school, of affecting immediate intimacy, but there is an emotional honesty to her that is almost certainly born from the ordeal of the past two years. It is impossible not to cheer for a woman who for so long was defined in relation to others first a pop group, then a husband taking the risk to strike out on her own. And although many were surprised when she left her high-profile marriage, there has long been a more independent streak in her than her hotter-than-average girl-next-door image suggested. She did, after all, leave Eternal in 1995 after their hugely successful debut album to launch her solo career.

Id just had enough, she says. We were very different and had different directions. We werent harmonised. Girl bands are tough.

Does she mean they were fighting? Not fighting, just, um, different, she says, diplomatically.

She talks excitedly about her plans for the next decade: more albums, more musicals, and, of course, bringing up two teenagers.

But what Id really like to do is buy the rights to a movie and produce a stage show from it, she says.

Any in particular? Thelma and Louise, she replies, and smiles.

Louise Redknapps new single, Stretch, is out now. She appears in 9 to 5 The Musical until 29 June

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog · 5 years

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Louise Redknapp: Strictly put the fire back in my belly but it didnt break up my relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/must-see/louise-redknapp-strictly-put-the-fire-back-in-my-belly-but-it-didnt-break-up-my-relationship/