#i will love these story bits until my dying days they're so silly
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i love you dream realisations, i love you shared dreams, i love you dream fights, i love you dreams that physically affect the dreamer, i love you dream people based on memories of lost loved ones <3
a trope being a trope isn't bad, it's how you use it to tell a story that defines it
#i will love these story bits until my dying days they're so silly#dreams are weird and funky like do you blame writers for doing these things?#don't even get me started if magic's involved so long as it's not massively op#but anyway my point is#do not feel ashamed for writing with 'bad' tropes- write what you want. take joy in writing fun silly things#because taking joy in the silly things is fundamental to keeping a cool head in this big world#writing#writeblr#writing positivity
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for the ask game - W Q P and as many OOOOO’s as u want!
Hi, thanks for the ask! (game)
Sorry this took so long! I started to type and it ran away from me. It's VERY long. The rest is under the cut.
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).
Hmm... this is hard HAHA I can't think of any atm! I always love Pokémon au's, so anything I love in the Pokémon universe will be fun! Oh, and the other day I watched Death Note right before I went to sleep and had a Light Yagami!Hemlock dream which was...an experience. Not sure how a Death Note Star Wars universe would work, a lot of stuff would need to be changed, but it would be funny as hell.
Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why?
Another hard one, I don't really abandon fandoms, I just...stop liking shows as much and don't feel the "need" to interact with them anymore. I guess I still really enjoy Gravity Falls, but don't engage with the fandom at all anymore except when I'm feeling nostalgic. I didn't even know about the current countdown on the website until last night! I used to be ALL on top of that!
W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom
I'm not sure if the question means fanfic tropes or au's or what. So I'll just list some stuff in general fandom spaces I don't like bc I'm a hater. If you like these, MORE POWER TO YOU! I'm sure there's HEAPS of stuff I like that you don't! Live laugh love <3
I don't like coffee shop au's, florist au's, the "omg they turned into a baby and the other/s have to look after them!" trope, honestly not a huge fan of soulmate au's, dont like a/b/o at all sorry.
I HATE it when certain characters (COUGH COUGH WRECKER, COUGH COUGH PINKIE PIE) get get infantilised/woobiefied despite being grown adults just because they're a bit silly. I DO NOT LIKE IT when grown adults are reduced to The Mum Of The Group™ for...no reason. Yes, that last point is about fanon Echo. I do not like fanon Echo and I am not in the mood to talk about why rn HAHA.
Anon, honestly there are more but saying the real heavy-hitting will get me assassinated by the fandom secret service.
Again, if you like these, I do not care. I'm so glad you do, honestly.
O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?
I don't really think of pre-existing characters or ships when I listen to music, to be honest! When I listen to music, I primarily see if it can remind me of one of my oc's. And you know, if I actually enjoy the song or not. So I won't be able to answer this question, either!
That being said, Brutus by The Buttress (I LIKED THE SONG BEFORE TIKTOK FOUND IT!) reminds me of Captain Rex. Not because of the "My name is Brutus, but the people will call me Rex" line, but because the theme and story of the song matches up with my personal headcanon of the clones secretly holding grudges against the Jedi for always, even if unintentionally, being famed and loved throughout the galaxy for being peacekeepers and fighting the war while it was actually the clones on the front line dying, with lifespans too short for the senate to seriously consider actually giving rights to. For most clones, it was a mild annoyance. For others, it was a real grievance.
I like to think, in my interpretation, the line "I don't want want you have, I want to be you" has two meanings. The first: Those jealous clones maybe didn't mind carrying out Order 66. Of course, it's wrong. The Jedi did their best. But if I were a clone...yeah. I might harbour some ill feelings towards the sect of people using me like that. I would want to be appreciated as more than a solider, I'd want the right to choose. I'd want to be them.
The other meaning I have relates more to Rex himself. I wonder how much pain and guilt he's felt since the ship went down with Jesse and the others still in it. He is one of few left to pick up the scraps and continue fighting what seems to be a hopeless battle without resources or assurance. He's the one people turn to, now. How often does he think of Jesse, or Cody, or Fives, or Kix? How many times has he remembered the total lack he had when he was trying to kill Ahsoka, and ordering his men to do the same? Watching his own body and voice act unable to stop it... I think it eats away at him. I think he has major survivors guilt. I think he sometimes, privately, secretly, wishes he were Jesse or Ridge or Fives. I think he wishes he were dead. "I don't want what you have, I want to be you". He wouldn't feel as horrible. He wouldn't feel anything. He'd see them again.
I know neither of these headcanons are popular, nor well-thought out atm HAHA but that's what I feel!
On a lighter not, Lynchmob by KMFDM reminds me of Wrecker <3
Thanks for the ask!
#pudge answers#Anonymous#i have this whole thing with brutus and rex like i thought of it after doing shots one time a few months ago and its been in my mind since#like drunk me was more coherent about it somehow but maybe one day i'll make a post abt all the lyrics and relate it to the clones#ask games
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Content warning: If you don't want to read somewhat direct/blunt discussion of death, grief, loss, etc skip this. :)
Something I wasn't anticipating with my dad dying was how I'd see traces of him everywhere once he was gone.
For most of us, of course we grow up with our parents metaphorical fingerprints all over our lives...but somehow, I didn't connect every little thing to him until he was gone. Like, the fact that I eat mayo because he loved mayo and introduced it to me as a baby. Had I been born into a family where mayo wasn't much of a thing, I never would have been able to eat it once I realized it was made of eggs. So now everytime I eat mayo I think about him.
And everytime I go to the grocery store. We only have two in town so everyone goes to the same two. I've lived here my whole life. In no way shape or form is either grocery store exclusive to something I ev er did with him. But because I sometimes did go with him, now it's a reminder of him. I couldn't even begin to guess how many things I associate with him now, it feels endless. And he's been gone over a year and a half. And what makes it even more weird, is that while my brain has shifted to seeing little reminders of him everywhere, most people hesitate to bring up a dead person. They don't want to 'remind you' or upset you. And I 100% get it, I was always the same way with other people's deaths. But the thing is..I'm thinking about it several times a day everyday. I am still living my life and I'm not depressed, I'm doing quite well, actually - but I live with the fact that he's dead 24/7, and will for the rest of my life. So the idea of someone else 'reminding me' being a bad thing is such a silly concept to me now. And honestly, for the first bit, I was kinda glad that people didn't ask me how I was doing or bring it up. Because it was too raw and I didn't want to be vulnerable. And there are a couple of people who I still kinda worry about talking about him with because I know they get really emotional and that makes me emotional and we all grew up in this stupid society where vulnerability feels bad. But for the most part...it feels GOOD when someone else brings my dad up. Because he crosses my mind so much, but it often feels weird or awkward or sad to bring it up to most people. Like they want to change the subject. And again I get it. But damn, it feels like my whole world changed and then the default expectation seems to be to just not talk about him. I get why people don't get it. If you haven't lost a parent yet you can't get it, I don't think. We knew he was dying for years and I had time to prepare but you just don't realize how much you can't possibly know what the world is like without your parent in it, when all you've known is the world with them in it. It's a really weird thing to still be someone's daughter but they're no longer your father. They're still baked into who you are, but they don't exist. I don't know. But it makes me feel a little better when someone else says his name or says they had a dream about him or tell a story about him.
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the set up for season 2 is SO STRONG and theres a lot of potential and then the season just kind of. fizzles out.#i think the character problems are most evident with Seven imo but it follows with everyone else#that everyone is given like. one or two character traits in the last few episodes#i feel like if the season went for more of a direct time travel plot without the soong side plot and childhood flashbacks we could yknow#actually write the characters well#there are good moments it just. irks me.
See. This is why having two showrunners with different plans for the season and anthology style series DOESN’T work.
Terry Matalas worked on the first 4 episodes of Picard season 2, before he was told to split off and start working on season 3 and then Akiva Goldsman, who has different sensibilities than Terry took over, and quite frankly, I’m not really a fan of Akiva’s storytelling style.
Time travel is Terry’s thing — its how he built 12 Monkeys, going back to move forward is one of the important themes from his previous show.
Also, 10 episodes is not enough for the kind of plot they wanted to do, with the number of characters.
Plus, I’m disappointed after episode 3, Seven barely interacted with the Borg Queen.
The Borg Queen who is particularly possessive of Seven, in any reality. Just… doesn’t do anything with Seven until the penultimate episode.
Imagine if they at least had 13-14 episodes what they have time to do and explore with the characters!
continuing from this post
oh that's interesting! i didn't know Matalas worked as showrunner on the first few episodes of s2 but in retrospect it makes a lot of sense. i do still enjoy season two but yikes it really feels like it was four stories Frankensteined into one season and it makes sense that there wasn't a single showrunner. and yeah i've said it before too but i also just really hope that future Trek shows fade out the anthology season model because it just does not work to create a consistent audience when the characters and tone keep changing (and judging by snw they're thankfully taking the more episodic path). serialization can work well you just have to be confident about where you're going because usually the endings just get convoluted (Discovery also has a big problem with this imo). i also now have a suspicion that since the two seasons were being written at the same time that the reason why Agnes, Soji, Rios, and Agnes/Borgurati weren't in s3 (which is my main criticism of the season) is that none of the writers knew exactly where those characters would end s2. which. hm. i get that the pandemic work was rough but sometimes forward planning is important.
i would have loved a s2 of Picard that:
cemented where the characters were a little bit more in the beginning and deal with the fallout of s1 and implications for the world at large especially following up with Soji a bit since that was her only (and possibly last) episode.
spent another episode in the Confederation universe! evil universes are so much fun and i think can unravel a lot of characters' fears and insecurities by having them see the worst versions of themselves and we really only saw pieces of that with Seven & Picard, not Raffi, Rios, Agnes, & Elnor
have Elnor stay alive for the 2024 episodes! i get that Raffi's guilt around Elnor dying was her big s2 character arc but exploring the way she manipulated him into Starfleet and kept being overprotective of him could have been equally well explored if he was alive. he also could have added a bit of needed lightness to the season and we would have another classic 'Vulcan/Romulan has to disguise themself in present day by wearing a silly hat' moment
cut the whole Soong plot. sorry. i was just not a fan and it took so much time away from the actual main characters.
also without the Soong plot, the Renee plot would have been simplified a bit and left room for slower character scenes instead of just action-action-action
i did like Rios's story (and the way the season grappled with modern politics) but him staying in the past... eh sorry i just don't really see it and i think 'staying behind and leaving my friends for true love!' is a pretty tired trope even if Teresa is very cool.
the Agnes/Borg Queen story is VERY tasty and the concept of there being an ethical(ish) Borg Collective out there is really good but as you said... it really felt like Seven should have been a more active participant in that. her and Agnes could have made great foils of Agnes slowly being drawn in to the Queen's influence while Seven for the first time in her life is free of her. maybe just spending more time building up the Borg Queen as a threat (and without Soong, the main threat) of the season would have been better.
i mean also the complaint that started this conversation with the idea of Seven's arc being really good but then just not being executed all that well specifically wrt how her implants were written out and then written back in and her just never using her science skills.
i do like the vibes of having Picard confront his childhood trauma and explore the reasons why he has difficulty connecting with people but i'm just not convinced by the execution and i still don't exactly understand why Tallinn had to be there (and why she had to look like Laris? thinking about it i'm imagining that she might have been the Confederation universe's version of Laris who joined the Time Lords Travelers but it still doesn't really make sense and it's not really discussed in the text)
we might very well get something exploring this but i would like to know why the Q are dying. it didn't bother me as much as it bothered others but it would have been nice to get something more.
oh no i didn't realize how long this got. sorry you did not ask for my fix-it of s2 but once i got thinking... alas Picard has a great combination of good ideas, great characters, and less than great execution that makes my brain tick.
#if i think about her (star trek picard) then i can fix her#i have a few fic ideas circulating but dang i need to finish my s1 fic first#star trek picard#asks
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kinda love the idea of that one post about vickie being like the home/port in the storm.
and like I've seen some fics with steve taking on that role, at like the end of it, and it can be sweet, but i also feel like it's a bit of a tragic ending for steve, like him being left behind in a way, and i think i feel that way bc it's feels like it wouldn't be his choice, that it would be the consequence of him not being able to move on, him being stuck, at least if it's in hawkins. if it's in another city it feels less like that, but still.
but with vickie i feel like it could work in s5, like actually. and we could have robin/stobin going to her for like a break, or food or just comfort, before going back out in the chaos, and then at the end of it all, (with stobin both alive, i refuse to entertain any other notion, sorry, i just can't deal with either of them dying rn lol) coming back to vickie and just like being able to exhale, finally, (would be p delicious if one of them (steve) did d*e and they break down in vickies arms, BUT I'm NOt thinking about that! NO!)
also i have this view in my head of steve's house being destroyed at the end of s5, idk why exactly, i just do, and i think he would be wherever robin is after that.
and then i have a scene of Something happening so like vickie Knows shit is going down, and when it's over she's out looking for robin, and she sees stobin looking all dusty and bloody/banged up, also they're holding hands (we get a shot at some point of their hands clutched together like in s3, but its a close up and also their hands are like dirty lol), but they're like looking in another direction, and vickie like starts running towards them and they look up and see her, like a parallel to the war zone scene almost, except vickie keeps running and we get a running slam into a reunion first* kiss between robin and vickie, and vickie is like holding robin's face, and robin's one hand is like holding vickie and the other is still holding steve's (bc she can't let go yet) so he's just there, awkwardly looking away to give them privacy, but with that silly little pleased happy smile on his face!
*tbh i would love for their first kiss to be somewhere quiet and sweet in the story, but i can't deny the draw of a dramatic declaration "it was almost too late" kiss yk, but i would love if they kissed before the last episode, and had a moment of peace together in the chaos, (a little bit like willow and tara's first kiss in buffy the vampire slayer, but with a little bit more focus on it)
but i also feel like vickie would work as a port in the storm even after it ends, like she cares for robin (and by extension steve) and she's there for nightmares and panic attacks, and flashbacks. and she was there for all of it, but she wasn't involved, and she's their one safe piece of hawkins, and she Knows but also she doesn't, and that gives them both peace, like here's one person we know who we managed to save, we managed to spare the horror. but also she's there afterwards to enjoy the stobin shenanigans <3 and every time either of them do anything wild/insane/silly they go home (where they all live together, or they call her if stobin lives in another apartment together) and tell vickie about it, and when things happen they go "just wait until i tell vickie!"&"i can't wait to tell vickie!" i just feel like stobin would go on adventures (both Adventures, but also like getting lost in a city and other more every day adventures), maybe not on purpose all the time lol, and I think sometimes vickie would be there, but also sometimes she's not and it's just stobin time <3 idk if i'm explaining my thoughts v well, but i hope u get the vibe.
thanks for listening to me ramble<3
Hii yeah i feel like vickie gets shit on a lot for being boring or something like rn we dont know a huge amount about her but she seems like a kind and non-violent person. So i don’t really see her becoming a monster hunter and maybe that will change in s5! But i dont really think so and im honestly fine with that. It’s like not everyone can be a gryffindor or dauntless..to use silly YA “factions” lol so in the same vein im thinking okay she doesn’t need to be a fighter even if that means she won’t have as much screentime
The reunion scene ur imagining is so sweet im in love with it!! I do like it when he’s just there for robin moments lol like he’s looking over his wlw with pride lol and goddd i so want another stobin hand holding scene i feel like we don’t get them being physically affectionate in canon bc the ST directors are like ummm do friends hold hands?? Lol sucks that the only stobin hand holding was when we were getting straightbaited bc i think they love holding hands <3 besides that i am a big fan of stobin maybe not being the biggest into physical affection but always in each others space anyway parallel play stobin real
Also i’ve definitely imagined steve robin and vickie leading the ppl at the volunteer spot to safety and then like steve dramatically sacrificing himself so that the girls can get out…a robin breakdown in vickie’s arms would work so well there <3
Tbh idk how i would like vickie and robin’s first kiss to go…i’ve mentioned them doing an action hero kiss like right before robin is about to jump into some action, vickie plants one on her but that doesn’t necessarily have to be their first kiss…but im pretty sure we’ll only get one robin/vickie kiss in s5 (cowardssss) so idk which i would prefer…a kiss when they’re alone, finally safe, sounds nice. Mostly just want them to kiss a lot lol
I really really like the idea of steve, robin, and vickie becoming a little trio. Like literally steve and his gang of wlw lol i don’t know what steve will wind up doing in s5 (sooo nervous for the potential stoncy storyline like the thought is giving me stress ulcers lol) but i am hoping he’ll survive. I try not to do too much speculation about s5 tbh because it’s fun to think about but i dont want to get too excited bc i just know the duffers will go a different direction and it will inevitably be a direction i think is stupid rip….idk at this point i really just hope my favourite characters dont have to go through too many stupid storylines lol. I feel confident about robin and vickie getting a couple scenes tho - maybe not as much as i want but i trust that at least. Anyway lol yeah stobickie agenda real i think all three of them will get into some fun adventures <333
When i think somewhat realistically i dont see robin and vickie being super long term just bc im not the biggest fan of high school sweethearts staying together forever. Like it is very sweet but i think the chance of you growing in different directions is very likely and im honestly quite attached to my headcanon of stobin being romantic disasters for decades. But i think the show will at most do a flashforward to them in their 20s or a small timeskip. So both can exist lol
It was fun to read ur rambling <3333
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Hiii sorry to be annoying in the notes but I do have a couple of cents here from the POV of an (aspiring, RIP) author who HATES advertising their work and thinks it should speak for itself.
It's a huge pain in the ass to advertise original work online. On one hand I get how booktok turns everything into fanfiction and how it absolutely makes no sense to apply the same, uh, "marketing strat" to original fiction.
On the other hand, good luck keeping anyone's attention unless you lay out the tropes for them like they're a baby. People, especially on tumblr and maybe youtube, don't realize that authors do it because it works, particularly on the less uhhhhh shall we say discerning reader. A lot of people nowadays only look for predictable and safe tropes, or they just really enjoy certain plots and want more of them, which is fine. And those people often bring in the cash, even if they're not the most cerebral audience. (Not saying stupid, just that they might not read to analyze character arcs and symbolism but just for mindless fun.) There's a reason tropey garbage that everyone clowns on is successful, and it's because most readers are truly in it for the same three tropes over and over (and porn, but that's self-explanatory I think).
So on those people, this type of marketing works.
It seems braindead and silly to people who do have enough time and interest in seeking out new media, to actually pause and read about new original works and premises, but we need to remember that not everyone is the same.
"Give me a reason to love these characters!", but look at it from the other side. A lot of people may not say it, but it is evident in how they interact with original content, which is often "Why should I care about these randos? Tell me what they'll be getting up to so I know what to expect and can decide whether to invest my attention." For many, they do not care about characters until they've read the work, and I get that, because it's hard to care about names on a screen. But the only way I can give you a reason to love my characters is either through telling you about them using descriptions, spoilers, and yes, tropes, or by letting you read the work itself. People generally only love characters once they've become invested in the story, aka read the book. And how do you get people to read the book? You advertise.
How many of the people who complain about tropes being used as marketing have actually gone and read the blurbs of the books? Cuz I can guarantee that those books that are "the same" will have differences once you actually read about them, in execution if not in premise. I get that the marketing itself is probably off-putting, so this isn't an accusation, just an observation. Tropes are meant to draw in new people, and then get them to read further, to click on a link, to follow an account, to check out a website and preorder.
I can promise you most authors (those not chasing a paycheck, anyway) would love nothing more than to gush about their OCs and lore and intricate plots. But nobody will give a damn. Because until you're established, those are just some random asshole's random OCs in a sea of random assholes with random OCs. So authors are forced to reduce their works into tropes that are quick to spit out, at an audience with a short attention span, with a promise of good things they already enjoy if they only give the author a bit of their time and money.
Basically I think it's a little reductive to only blame this on authors, because at the end of the day, they're probably just trying to make a living. They do this shit because it works, even if it doesn't work on you in particular or seems to be really embarrassing and unecessary. Even cringebait gets hateclicks.
That being said, I'm happy with the backlash this seems to be getting lately and I hope that means the trend will be dying down soon and publishers will get a hint. I just wish that people would realize that those awful booktok books keep coming out because people keep buying them. Those tropey descriptions keep getting more and more reductive because audiences can't be bothered with anything else, and people need to make money.
Publishers picking up on and pushing this can and should also be blamed, IMO. I'm sure there's plenty of authors who hate having to do PR and seeing/making those tropey promos of their creations, but they can't do anything because it's just how you're supposed to draw in new readers nowadays.
It's a shitstorm all around, is what I'm trying to say.
Sorry it’s early but you really can’t use fanfiction terms in a non fanfiction context like if someone is trying to sell me a book to read and they tell me there’s an enemy to lovers I would be annoyed because why are you spoiling the story lol
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Stay With Me (Pt. 08 of 09)
Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader
Word count: 3 K
Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.
Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.
<- Previous part (07)
Next part (09)->
{The Walking Dead Masterlist}
I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22, who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!
×
Nightmare
It's amazing to know you're excited about the party. Luke is two months old, and since you had a welcome party in-store, you turned it into a birthday party. It'll happen later tonight, by nightfall, and you're enjoying the last moments before you have to leave the bedroom and start organizing things.
After brushing your teeth and hair, you leave the bathroom, smiling to see Daryl still lied in bed. He seems peaceful, eyes closed, so handsome in the morning light. You've been wanting to tell him something, it's been a while... But you never get the right time. Or maybe you're just a little scared...
But looking at him now, it just fades away. You and Daryl have been in a solid relationship, and despite the short time, things have been amazing. Perfect. Carol is even talking about moving out, so you and Daryl can have your own space, but you don't want to push her to it. In the privacy of your bedroom, you're fine. And living with Carol is nice.
“Hey, D.” You say in a soft voice, going to the bed and climbing on top of him. Daryl grunts something, his eyes opening, hands coming to your hips and waist. “Are you awake?”
“I am now that a kitten came to lie down on me.” He mumbles as you move up until your face is at the same level as his. You place your legs around his hips, hands sustaining your weight on each side of his head.
“Sorry.” You mutter, moving to stand up. But Daryl's grip gets tighter, and you let yourself fall, collapsing against his chest, giggling. “Alright, alright. But listen up now...”
“What is it?” He brings a hand to your face, fingers caressing your chin.
“Uhm...” Blushing a little, you clear your throat. “I... I think... No, I do.”
Daryl raises an eyebrow, and you can tell he's trying to figure it out on his own. “Ya wanna break apart?” He bursts out suddenly. “ ‘Cause if that's what ya want, I–”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” You say in a sarcastic tone, rolling your eyes. “I'm literally on top of you, Daryl Dixon. How can you possibly think I want to end things?” Moving to sit up, straddling his hips, you cross your arms. “What do you have in this pretty head of yours? Only hunting skills?”
“Yer very funny.” In a sudden motion, Daryl pulls you down again, switching positions so he's on top of you instead. “What is it then?” He asks, his face way too close.
“Can I kiss you first?”
“Nah. Ya got me curious.”
“Alright...” Taking a deep breath, you gather up some courage to push the words out. “I want a baby.” Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle at Daryl's funny face. “What?”
“Don't ya have one already?”
“Yeah...” Mumbling, you wrap your arms around his neck. “Daryl?”
“Huh?”
“I want another baby.” Smirking, you place a kiss on his lips. He's fast to kiss you back, a hand cupping your cheek. “So. What do you think?” You ask when you pull away.
“How are ya plannin’ to get one?”
You're not sure if his intention was to make you blush, but you're blushing anyway. “Uhm... First I need to get married.”
“Get married? People don't care about these things anymore.” He answers quickly, and you wonder if you went too far. Maybe it's way too early, and these thoughts should be kept inside your heart for a while longer.
“I know but... That's exactly why I care.” Sighing, you avoid his eyes. “I'm sorry, we haven't talked about this and I don't even know if–”
“Hey, calm down.” With his thumb and index finger on your chin, he makes you look at him again. You always appreciates Daryl's touch, it doesn't matter how small it is. It took a while for him to get comfortable enough to do this so easily, and you never take it for granted. He's always gentle as if you're a porcelain doll. He's never rough, never violent, not with you. Loving Daryl happened fast and strong, and it's a feeling that only grows, every passing day. “Ya wanna talk about it we'll talk about it.”
“It's just that... I-I love you. With all my heart and... It does feel like we already have this family thing going on and...” Daryl has fallen into this father role, and he's absolutely amazing with Luke. He can make him fall asleep in minutes, and you love to watch as he rocks the baby to sleep. And those moments always get your mind racing. He's already being such a good father so maybe he'd like a baby of his own... And you'd like to give him that. “...It got me thinking.”
“I love ya too, babygirl. But marriage... It would bound you with me on a whole different level.” Daryl sits up, and you follow his movement, your arms still around his neck, keeping him close. “I wanna make sure ya have the choice ta’ walk away when ya want to.”
“I won't walk away, Dixon. I love you.” He needs to be reassured of that from time to time, but you don't mind. You want to spend the rest of your life making sure Daryl knows he's loved. That he's desired and wanted. “I want to be with you for the rest of my life and if that's what you want too... You know, I'm a girlish girl, I'd like to get married someday, and honestly, if not with you then I won't marry anyone else.” Shrugging your shoulders, you look down, a shiver rolling down your spine, feeling his fingers caressing your bare thigh.
“Ya sure ya want this? With me? Are ya sure about what yer talking about?”
“I am.” You mutter in a low voice, blushing. “I am.” Repeating in a low voice, you kiss him, slowly at first, but soon enough his taste overcomes everything, and you think he feels the same since he deepens the kiss. Pulling him down again, you smile when his hand touches a ticklish spot on your side.
“Hey, you two!” Carol calls, knocking on the door. “Wake up. There's a lot to do today.”
Daryl grunts in response, not pulling away from the kiss.
But Carol is right. It'll be a long day and both you and Daryl have stuff to get ready for the party.
The day passes by quickly since you're helping everyone a little. The only thing you can't do is lift heavy stuff. Daryl forbade it, with Denise backing him up, you have no idea for how long. The party will happen at Rick's house since the living room is the biggest, and you spend hours there decorating everything. You try not to think too much about all the people who will be here tonight. You know them, you befriended them, they won't hurt you.
When it's finally time to go, you're impressed by how you feel. Happy, not scared, and actually excited. You never thought stuff like this would ever happen again. It's silly, but it keeps people sane, said Deanna. The sun is making its way to the horizon when you're getting dressed. You chose to wear a dress Daryl brought you from one of his runs. It's a light shade of blue, with thin straps and a nice cleavage in the back, reaching a few inches below the mid of your thighs. You never wear anything that will show the scar on your leg, you don't like it. Nor what it represents. You're putting on your flats when Daryl comes out of the bathroom, hair still damp, but completely dressed. He's wearing what he usually wears, always dark colors, but you don't mind. You really like it.
“Are you ready?” You ask, turning on your heels to face him. Daryl doesn't answer, eyes locked on you, lingering for so long it makes you blush. “D? Cat got your tongue?”
“Nah, it just...” He looks down at his feet before making his way over you. “Ya look beautiful, that's all.”
“Thanks.” Smiling shyly, you tiptoe to kiss him. “But I'll need a coat for when the night falls... Mind if I get one of yours?”
“Won't ya ever stop stealin’ my clothes?” Daryl fakes an annoyed tone, but it takes two seconds for his lips to break into a smile.
“Well, you stole my heart, Dixon. I'm just looking for revenge.” Winking at him, you search on the wardrobe for one of his jackets. “Now let's get going. Maggie and I baked this brownies and I'm dying for one.” Grabbing the jacket, you take his hand and leave the bedroom.
Carol is already there, so you just have to take little Luke and head out. He wants Daryl this time, so he's the one carrying him to Rick's place. As you walk there, the wind messes with your hair, and you try to keep it from your face.
“Who are the new residents, by the way?” You just remembered them. If the day wasn't so hectic, you'd ask Daryl to introduce you to them, just so you could know their faces before having to meet them at the party.
“Two men. Aaron found them starving to death a hundred miles Northwest. They're alright I guess. Since Deanna allowed them to stay.” Daryl reassures you, his free hand taking yours. “Ya ok?”
“Yeah... I'm excited, actually.” As you climb the few steps to the porch, Luke giggles, you're not sure why. “Right, little one?” Stopping by the front door, you step closer to the baby in Daryl's arm. “Are you excited too? For your party? Two months old already, you're growing up so fast.” You're still baby-talking when the door is opened, a smiley Carl gesturing for you to get in.
“C'mon, let's get ya those brownies,” Daryl says as you step inside.
It takes no time for people to come to talk to Luke, him becoming the center of attention. He throws himself on Maggie's arms, who happily welcomes him.
“(Y/N),” Rick says and you turn on your heels to talk to him. Daryl remains close, and you know why. But you feel fine, comfortable around these people. “Judith said a funny word this morning. I wonder where she learned it.” He has his hands on his hips, and you innocently shrug your shoulders.
“What word?”
“Damn it,” Daryl answers, not a hint of doubt in his voice. Rick nods, raising his eyebrow.
“Oh my gosh. Where could she have heard such a thing?” She learned it from you because that's what you exclaim almost a hundred times a day and that's not really a secret anymore. “I'm sure she said something like ‘dang it’ so I don't see how that's my fault. ‘Dang it’ it's not that bad is it?”
“Well, I think–”
“(Y/N). Daryl.” Deanna calls, and you give Rick a smirk, meaning you're happy to be saved from this conversation. Turning around, you focus on Deanna. “Come, you're the only ones who haven't met Michael and Daniel yet.”
“Ok.” You can't help but feel a little anxious to meet new people, so you grab Daryl's arm as you follow Deanna through the living room.
“Over here.” She gestures, a kind smile on her lips. “This is Daniel, and Michael, they were found–”
Her words fade when both men turn to look at you. Their faces are unmistakable, and you feel yourself sinking, skin burning, head spinning as it all comes back.
Their voices, touches, and threats. You're suddenly back there, in the darkness, starving, freezing, waiting, wishing for death to come before they did. You're in the basement where your screams used to echo. All of your wounds start hurting, pulsing, as if they were reopened, all over again.
You never got the names, but you'll never forget the faces. One of them, the you thought looked like Rick, has a smile on his lips. The same sick, wicked smile, the same he had every time he went to see you, never failing to draw some blood.
“Hi, (Y/N).” He says, in the same tone he used to. Low, dark, more animal than human.
What happens next is a blur. There's yelling, and Daryl suddenly isn't by your side anymore. He's a blur, moving towards both men, drawing punches. You're pulled back by someone, you don't know where, but you know it isn't Daryl. You know his touch by heart, and it's the only touch you want.
“Let go of me!” You yell, pushing whoever that was, sinking, falling backward until you hit a wall. You want to disappear again, to vanish from existence. With both hands covering your ears, you push yourself into the wall, hoping it'll absorb you, hide you.
“Take them. Now.”
“The trial happens tomorrow.”
“Lock those assholes up.”
“Enjoy your last night on Earth.”
The words have no meaning, they just keep echoing. The low chattering, the many footsteps... Why are you still here? Why can't you be strong for once and just run? Run where? If they're here... Where else could you go?
“Babygirl,” his low, calming voice is like a beacon, lighting up the darkness, bringing you back, pulling you into consciousness again. Into life.
Moving just a little, hands off your ears and muscles relaxing, you look at him, immediately running to his arms. “They're here. They're here, they... They found me.”
“Alright, calm down now.” He holds you tight, a hand rubbing your back. “Let's get ya outta here.”
Nodding, you offer no resistance when he picks you up. You keep your eyes closed, face hidden on the crook of his neck as you float away. It feels like the first time, when he was carrying you from the infirmary into what's now your house.
You flinch a little when you're pulled down, suddenly recognizing your bed and curling up, pulling the blankets over your head.
“How is she?”
“I don't know.” Daryl sounds angry, furious. “I'll kill them right now.”
“No, Daryl. The trial will be tomorrow. You know they'll die for what they did”
“I don't care!”
“You need to stay with her now.”
You know it's Carol, but still, you want her to go. You need everyone to go away now, you just need Daryl. You need to... Go away. Alexandria isn't safe anymore. You rather face the dead.
Silently, moved by fear, you get up, taking the dress off, and struggling with the first pair of jeans you find.
“(Y/N),” Daryl calls, but you ignore him, sight blurred by the tears as you put a shirt on. “Hey, (Y/N).” You don't know what to take... You just need to leave. These walls won't keep you safe anymore. If you stay... You know they'll find you again.
“I'm leaving.” You mumble, looking around and finding the white sneakers you left by the edge of the bed and putting them on.
“What–”
“I'm leaving! I can't stay here. If I stay here it'll happen all over again.” You're yelling, sitting on the bed, sobbing. “They're here, they'll take me again, they-they–”
“Shh, yer ok.” Daryl pulls you up, into his arms, and you melt. The sobs are muffled by this jacket, and your tears are certainly soaking the fabric. “Look at me, babygirl. Look at me.” Slowly, you raise your head, his blue eyes acting immediately, like a medicine made only for you. “There's a place I can take ya for the night. But ya need to be here tomorrow. To officialize their crime so I can kill those–”
“Take me away, please.” You beg, holding onto him as if he's the only thing keeping you sane. Alive. Because he is. “Please, if I stay here I'll–”
“Alright, alright.” He nods, a hand caressing your cheek. “Let's go then. C'mon.”
Everything happens in the background, you feel. Carol stays by your side in the porch, guiding you to the car Daryl took to drive you away. You barely feel your body now, out on the street, feeling their eyes on you... Their eyes, evil and disgusting, as they lust over you. You know they're not here, but still, you feel them. Wanting you to cave in, to agree to fulfill their needs in the most vile, degrading ways. You're hyperventilating when the gate opens, the woods before you suddenly looking far safer than these walls.
When Daryl crosses the gate, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, lungs burning. The sun is coming down, so there are a some shadows creeping in... But it's better out here. The wall will keep them inside, you hope.
“Babygirl,” Daryl says, getting your attention. “We're almost there, alright?”
“Ok.” You mumble, and Daryl puts a hand on your knee.
“Nothin’ will hurt ya. Never again. M’ gonna keep that promise.”
Holding his hand, your eyes meet his when he gives you a glance.
Around ten minutes later, Daryl stops the car. You haven't noticed before, but he parked in front of a small, wooden house. It looks like it was some kind of cabin in the woods since there are no other constructions around it. “C'mon.” He says when he opens the passenger door for you. Your legs feel a little weak, but you manage to stand up, immediately looking around. “There's nobody here, I promise ya.”
Nodding, you let him guide you inside, a flashlight on his hand. Daryl unlocks the door, and you wonder why he has the key to this thing. When you step in, the light coming from in between the planks on the windows helps you see the interior. There is a cough and a coffee table, you recognize it despite the dark plastic covering both things. Walking further in, you peak at the kitchen. Everything is clean and has a plastic placed over them. It kinda looks live someone used to live here not too long ago.
“I found this place a while ago.” Daryl starts, placing his backpack on the floor. “Was fixin’ it, cleanin’... So I could bring ya here every once in a while.” He gestures at the whole place in general, and you take another look around. He did say he'd try to find a place he could take you outside Alexandria, but you never thought it would be this good. “Still has a lot to do. Gonna put electricity, runnin’ water will be more complicated but I'll do it.”
“You're doing all that for me?” You whisper, hoping the dim light will hide your blushing cheeks.
“Yeah... Wanted to bring ya here under different circumstances but...” He takes the bag again, gesturing at the hall. “First door to the right it's our bedroom.”
Following his direction, you open the door to a small bedroom with a double bed, also covered with black plastic. The windows have wooden planks on it too, but there's enough space in between them so let some light come in.
“Here, lemme’–” Daryl drops the bag, walking over the bed and removing the plastic. Underneath, the light green sheets seem comfortable and you get it now why everything is covered up. To keep it clean. “Ya can lie down it ya want to. Brought some blankets.” As you move to the bed, Daryl searches in the bag, picking up two blankets and fixing them on the bed. “Ya hungry? Or thirsty? I brought–”
“I just need you, Daryl.” You whisper, drying off some tears that are still rolling down. “Can you come here?”
“Of course, babygirl.” Quickly, he leaves the bag behind and joins you in bed. Daryl pulls you close, you head on his chest as his arms hold you tightly, keeping you safe.
“I hope this is just a nightmare... That I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll all be gone.” Mumbling, you push yourself even closer to him, if that's even possible.
“I'll kill them myself, I swear.” There's a fire in his voice, hate. You've never heard him talking like that, his chest vibrating powerfully. “I'll wipe them off the face of Earth.”
Involuntary, your hand finds its way to your leg, to the scar. The pain is a vivid memory today, and for a moment you feel like you should lie down, as motionless as you can so it won't hurt. So the stitches won't rip again.
How is it possible that all the horrible memories came back all at once? On one second? “I-if I didn't have you, I... I'd die today, I know I would.”
“Nah, ya wouldn't.” Moving, he brings his index finger to your chin, making you look at him. “Yer stronger than ya give yourself credit for. Ya don't see it, but I do.” Then, he places a soft, sweet kiss on your lips, which is sadly, too brief. “But I will protect ya. Always, until my days are over.”
“Daryl, I–”
“I wanna marry ya.” He bursts out, his low voice burning through your head as you wonder if you heard him right. “When this is over and those monsters are dead... I wanna marry ya.”
Despite the terror, creeping through your skin, the darkness threatening to swallow you again, you smile. Everything fades away, and a different kind of happiness washes over you. A type of bliss you didn't even know existed. Unable to control yourself, you climb over him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you,” you mutter, not giving him the chance to answer, connecting your lips on his in a loving, passionate kiss.
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