#i will also scream and cry if this new piece of old stationery has the same run in it .

[housefreak]

anyway i saw a pic of antique lace lookin a little green and i will scream and cry if that is true

literally begging people on instagram to not only tag the fabric dyer but SAY WHAT COLORRR theyre using so i can. stop being so scared and afraid and in the dark abt what im actually ordering .

[bellatrix-la-strange]

Neville’s After

There’s a silence hanging over the courtyard that Neville doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget. It’s the silence of past screams, cruel laughter and gushing wounds like the one soaking the side of his sweater and dripping to a puddle at his feet.

He sees Harry standing next to pile of rubble, then the pile moves and he realizes it’s Hagrid, felled sometime during the battle. Neville doesn’t think Hargrid’s dead, he might be toeing the line between both worlds but he hasn’t crossed over like so many before him.

His gran, Dobby, Fred, Lupin, Moody, Colin, Dumbledore…

An inconsolable wail rings in the courtyard.

Neville shifts on trembling legs to see the Parvati twins—no longer identical with the burn marks covering half of Padma’s face and the raised, fresh scars running down Parvati’s neck—carrying someone between them. Their legs give out as they trip on the head of one of Hogwart’s stone protectors and the body between them tumbles to the ground in a jumble of long, curly hair flying out of tattered clothes and patches of brown skin. Lavender.

The cries continue as the bodies of their dead friends, family and brave strangers are dug out and laid out on their backs in neat rows. Neville stays until the latest hours of the night and when not even the light from his wand can help him see in the billowing darkness, he retires to the tower.

He isn’t surprised when he finds a group of bodies huddled together on the common room floor. It’s too dark to see who they are and Neville doesn’t care who he sleeps next to as long as he’s not alone.

He finds an empty spot and lies down.

He doesn’t make it home until days after the battle. Madame Pomfrey had tended to his wounds as best she could and on the orders of her and the Saint Mungo’s volunteers who’d arrived to treat the worse of the wounded (and carry away the dead) he was going home to change into clean clothes and rest.

But there’s a silence in his house, too.

Neville studiously avoids the greenhouse and can’t bring himself to so much as step on the stairs leading to the second floor.

He sleeps on the sofa and doesn’t think about the room upstairs with an empty bed and a closet full of ridiculous hats.

I’m so sorry about your grandmother, Neville.

She was a great woman, that one. I didn’t expect anything less to take her down.

I know she could be a bit hard sometimes, but it was only because she loved you so much, dear.

You were there with the last of them, I heard, just like your parents. You’re a born fighter.

Your parents would be proud.

Your parents would be proud. Your parents would be proud. Yourparentswouldbeproud.

Neville glances down at his wand one morning. It looks different than the first time he got it over seven years ago. There’s a hardness to it that hadn’t been there before, that held no place in those first moments of wonder and magic.

He rolls it in his palm and thinks he might be able to feel the hearts of the people he killed beating against his skin.

But there’s a silence in there, too.

He finds it hard to believe his parents would be proud of this.

Diagon Alley is not as he remembers it. There are people milling around, going about completing their chores and running into people they know (he tries not to think how less likely that is, now).

He hears the clomp of their feet on cobblestones, the murmur of their words as they recite lists to themselves  and the crinkling of bags as they bump into strangers. There are children winding around the legs of adults but he doesn’t hear any laughter or whining or crying.

(There’s a silence everywhere he goes.)

He leaves without buying anything.

He reads the newspapers every day and finds charities, organizations and families who would benefit from an anonymous donation from a boy who lost everything and yet has too much.

He doesn’t extend his contact to the outside world further than that.

People drop by to see how he’s doing, from his grandmother’s friends to his own from Hogwarts, but it’s not until Harry comes by with a letter from the Ministry and a wailing infant in his arms with blue hair and green eyes that Neville hears some sound begin to pierce the silence.

He grasps the letter in his hands hard enough to crease the cream stationery.

That night, he steps into the greenhouse for the first time in a little under a year.

The memorial takes place a month later, just in time for Neville to apply the finishing touches.

It’s held on the edge of the Black Lake, a sea of tranquility on one side and the broken remains of Hogwarts castle on the other, slowly and painstakingly being built back up brick by brick.

Neville doesn’t think he could’ve picked a better place himself and from the looks of the people around him—some known to him, others not—they also agree.

A large stone, like a menhir, has been erected on the edge of the beach where the grass turns to sand. Etched on its surface are the names of every last person lost to the war. It takes a while for him to find his grandmother’s but when he does, Neville lets out a choked laugh which rouses the people around him.

Augusta Penelope Longbottom.

A. P. L.

Apple, because I was the apple of my father’s eye. It’s not even properly spelled—it essentially makes no sense—but your great-grandfather was so proud of his stroke of genius...

There is a pile of gifts and personal effects at the foot of the monument. Neville has no problem finding his grandmother’s hat (the most horrendous one he’d ever seen in his life which his gran somehow seemed to adore). He also saw a camera, a clock-hand, a pair of mismatched socks, a lighter, a plate with the imprint of a baby’s hands pressed into the middle, and photographs. So many photographs.

Many people had something to say and by the time the last speaker walked off the podium only a sliver of the sun could be seen peeking over the horizon. Neville holds his breath and waits for night to fall.

There’s a depression in the ground, a tremble of the earth which sets off panicked whispers, and then the vines sprout from the foot of the large stone. They wind around its edges, sprouting small flowers which let off a misty white glow and are joined back together at the top of the stone, producing a large, bell shaped flower with buttery petals and curled edges. The flower hangs over the top of the stone and shines a pulsing light on the words below.

It will only last for the one night, but every year on the same day, the anniversary of the battle, the plant will grow its vines and sprout its flowers and light up the names of the people they love.

Though many sounds follow the plant’s sudden appearance, they inevitably wind down and disappear altogether until there’s nothing but dozens of glowing names etched in stone.

It’s a different silence this time.

He goes back to what he’d always wanted to do: study Herbology. Once that’s done and he has his degree in hand he applies for a Teaching Assistant job at Hogwarts and it’s barely a day later when he receives Headmistress McGonagall’s positive response.

Five years later and he’s promoted to Herbology Professor. It’s been a long time since Professor Sprout has been able to get on her knees to check on her plants without struggle and she trusts no one else more than Neville to take over her post.

When he comes home that night it’s to the smell of homemade stew and strings of music played by an old radio.

He finds Hannah in the kitchen and hugs her from behind, arms winding around her small, round belly as he presses a kiss to her shoulder. He listens to her intently as she describes her day and rejoices with her when she tells him of the promising results she received in her latest Healer’s exam.

She nearly topples over the cooking pot in her rush to kiss the living daylights out of him when he tells her his own piece of news.

As Headmaster of Hogwarts, Neville doesn’t often have the time to sit down and reflect on the passing years so when a situation calls for doing just that, it always comes as a shock to see what time has changed.

His twin girls have grown like weeds over the years and now that they’re in their third year at Hogwarts they’re beginning to find it less and less cool to have their dad constantly aware of everything they’re doing. Hannah says it’s only natural for them to want to start their own lives but he’s caught her more than once staring longingly at the framed pictures of them as toddlers, hanging off their parents’ arms and legs with grass stains on their knees.

Their house is full of memories like that one, it’s what his girls have grown up with, what they’ve come to know. But they also know other things.

They know of the war their parents had to fight in, know of their pain and the scars they still carry in the nightmares that still wake them up in the middle of the night and the more physical ones marring their mum’s hands and slashed across their dad’s side.

They know that lives were lost (so many of them) and they dutifully attend the yearly memorial service held at the edge of their school grounds.

They have friends who lost family members and some who didn’t even get to know their parents (just like their dad). Those are the ones that, when summer vacation comes about, are guided off the train by a red-headed girl and her two raven-haired brothers and taken to their father’s Small Steps Orphanage: A Home for Kindred Souls.

There is a light back in the world. It has a music which fills the empty spaces left behind by those they lost and is joined by a temid, sweet melody resplendent with hope and new beginnings and though the silence isn’t completely gone (merely waiting in a secluded corner for the darkness to fall, the memories to creep in and the nightmares to take hold) it’s held back by his wife’s exasperated eye roll, his daughters’ pointless fights, his students’ mischievous pranks, the photos of his gran in her hideous hats…

The silence isn’t gone. It’s still there, waiting.

And when his time comes decades later, like an old friend, it folds him in its arms and embraces him.

[rdr-andtrash]

convenience store

thursday evening, 5 years old

amy and her babysitter nina just got back from the neighbourhood playground, after 2 hours of running around with other kids on grass longer than it should be. it's 'dengue season', amy saw posters of it and hear people talking about it on the radio, she remembered the timing where people should stay home or she will be in the hospital. but amy wants some candy.

amy neither scream nor cry, but she did change her expression and general energy as they walked home. nina isn't neurotic about dengue season, so nina changed directions and walked to the convenience store ran by a married couple.

'hi uncle,' amy greeted to uncle sal. uncle sal looks like he's in his 40s. that day, he wore a light grey shirt and did not button the whole shirt, so his gray chest hair was noticeable even at amy's low eye-level. amy is pretty scared of uncle sal, because he has a sharp gaze when he's talking, but she is less scared if she's there with someone else.

'hi amy, hi nina,' uncle then continue manning the cashier.

amy bought three pieces of sugus, all three pink of course, and a carton of soy milk. she saw aunt sally as well, so she said hi to her too. amy and nina walked home.

monday evening, 8 years old.

amy found out her neighbour sofia don't know how to ride a bike. amy taught someone else how to ride a bike before, so she was pretty confident that she could teach sofia. she called lisa, her other neighbour, and together they demonstrated how to ride a bike. it's been an hour, and sofia still can't make the pedals turn. exhausted, sofia walked home while amy and lisa cycled to the shop, despite the fact that the distance between their house to the store is a two-minute walk. today, only aunt sally runs the store. amy bought a packet of mamee while lisa bought a piece of bubblegum.

friday evening, 11 years old

it's friday, and amy saved enough lunch money to splurge. she has school in the evening, and there are vendors selling a variety of junk food, collectibles, and even comic books that attract primary school kids to buy, despite being warned by anxious mothers. today, she bought that barbeque flavored corn chips that are a bit more expensive than other chips, plus a chocolate snack with a surprise gift inside. today is a good day.

she came home, and she found out her aunt is inviting the family for dinner. that is good news, since the family can ride the new company car dad just got. the car is long and shiny, with car seats that smell like leather, just like the mercedes car amy's rich uncle drives. later, the car drove to the commercial part of the neighbourhood where the convenience store is.

mom and dad always say whatever that's on their mind out loud, so as they passed by the area, they talked about how there's always new business opening up there, to end up closed in a short time. there was a indian muslim restaurant amy and dad frequent every sunday morning, that closed down when amy was 9. there's that stationery store that's a bit too expensive for mom to buy the stuff amy wants. there's another huge restaurant that was going well, until it closes down for some reason. however, the convenience store remains.

sunday afternoon, 14 years old.

'amy, can you run by the store and get some garlic? take rm5 from my wallet', mom screamed from the kitchen so that amy can hear it loud and clear from her room.

amy was reading a dystopian fiction she borrowed from her friend. luckily, it was pretty boring at the part she was reading, so she shut it and got ready for the store.

the store has been around since forever. however, as amy grew older the visit to the store is reduced. as amy enters the store, she shyly greets the aunt by the cashier counter. she was mildly surprised when the uncle suddenly shows up from the storeroom.

'hi aunty, where's the garlic?'

'oh, it's over there', aunt sally points at the shelf next to the cashier counter. amy took a few bulbs, then realised she still has some money left. it's enough to buy a pack of instant noodles she wants to try, so she asked the aunt where is it.

amy noticed there's so much more than candy and fizzy drinks in the store. there's a stack of receipt books, note books, the 'examination' pencils, mosquito repellents, lottery numbers, batteries of all kinds. there's also a machine where people can get freshly shredded coconut. she realised there's so many stuff she remembered the house needs that they can buy just two minutes away. why do we go so far to buy it?

aunt sally and uncle sal looked older than she remembered. their hair is greyer and more unkempt. they noticed how much amy grew up too, and mentioned how little amy was when she was 5. amy blushed and felt embarrased eventhough she was the only person there. amy nods and smile, gave aunt the cash, and left the store.

wednesday afternoon, 17 years old.

amy is at home for her boarding school holiday break. she finished one part of the homework her math teacher gave. it's the holiday, and motivation to study is pretty low. amy's feeling peckish. she realised she has money in her pencil case, so she took it and head to the store to buy some fizzy drinks.

at school, she reads the newspaper every morning. as she reached the store, she grabbed one and looked for the drink she wanted. she hasn't visited the store in months, so a lot of things changed, but she wants to head home quick, so she quickens her pace and went to the cashier counter.

'ah, amy! you're so big now! how has it been?'

aunt sally is running the store today. amy wonders how old is she now.

'hi aunt, i'm okay, i'm in boarding school now. is uncle here today?'

right after she asked the question, amy noticed a framed photo of the uncle. uncle has a faint smile in the photo, wearing a shirt, unbuttoned at the top, showing some chest hair. she felt bad for asking.

'oh, he passed away, heart attack a year ago. now it's just me and sometimes my daughter.'

'oh, okay' amy is still new when it comes to dealing with death, and she never knows how to respond to this. but they paused for a while, talked a bit more about what has happened to them, then amy gently said aunt sally goodbye.

tuesday morning, 20 years old.

amy's back for the summer break. it is her first time she's home this year. she is still jet-lagged, and she is determined to ensure she's sleeping at 11:30pm. it's 8am, she's ready to head to mcdonald's for breakfast. her friend is picking her up.

they passed by the commercial area. the store's closed. it's early, so it makes sense it's closed.

breakfast date turned into accompanying her friend finishing her errands, so they drove home at around 5pm. amy noticed the store is still not open. coincidentally, mom just got back from work.

'mom, the store's closed today, what happened?'

'oh the store's closed for a long time. i'm pretty sure aunt _'s too old to run it herself, and i don't think the kids want to run the store.'

amy was pretty sad. the area's changed a lot. there's a few big brand stores, the restaurant amy's family and friends go for late-night cravings expanded by a lot. there's a driving license centre, a chapel, and so much more.

'wow, the store has been there forever. when's the last time you were there'

'honestly, it's been so long since i went there.'