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auror-lovie · 4 years ago

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I Loved You, Mr. Scamander; Chapter 2

━━━•✦.✧. Author’s Note.✧.✦•━

Chapter 2 is O U T!

GOSH THE AMOUNT OF RESEARCH I DID JUST TO MAKE THIS CHAPTER.

Besides the point, I had a lot of fun doing the research. (Where was this version of me in high school-)

I hope you guys enjoy it! This chapter is a bit longer than I anticipated. It was a mix of research, personal experiences, and listening to the same song for hours-

You can find the playlist and the taglist form link in my bio! (Or you can just comment, send an ask, or PM- whichever feels comfortable)

━━━━━•✦.✧. Summary .✧.✦•━

After Hogwarts, (Y/N) and Victoria become the MOM’s Investigation Department’s secret weapon. While celebrating the completion of a recent case, she meets someone new. Who knew that this someone is related to her first love?

━━━━━•✦.✧. Add-Ons .✧.✦•━

A little back story of what happened during their last year at Hogwarts

Theseus~! ( Gosh, I hope I didn’t write him too out of character. Then again, in this chapter, he’s fresh out of WWI )

Victoria and (Y/N)’s friendship is solely based on the friendship I have with my fellow RavenPuff best friend. ( If she ever finds this fic, though I doubt it, I love you~! )

Fluff! (Hopefully)

Theseus and Reader being oblivious to these coincidences.

CLICHE ROMANCE STUFF. I’M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC, OKAY???

Hilarity ensues

Blood, but it’s a short scene

Slight angst at the end

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

Before Newt left, he promised to owl them. He was set on working for the Ministry to work with magical creatures in some way. Though his letters always came at odd hours- stupid time zones.

The day after Newt's expulsion, (Y/N) and Victoria had cut ties with Leta. They couldn’t trust her after what had happened. Despite all that, (Y/N) wished Leta the best in life.

For once the roles reversed, Victoria wanted to hex the hell out of Leta, but (Y/N) talked her out of it. Told her that it wasn’t worth it. Instead of spending all that energy on hating someone, it was better to wish them the best and let them go.

Sixth year had come to an end. On the day everyone was set to go back home for the summer holiday, Headmaster Dippet had summoned Victoria to his office.

“Headmaster Dippet,” She said as she stepped into his office. “What can I do for you?”

“You can take this, Miss Howard.” He replied, his hand gesturing to a small, yet elegant metal box that sat near her side of the desk.

Puzzled, Victoria walked closer. She hesitantly grabbed the box and opened it. On the small cushion, laid a navy blue pin, with the words HEAD GIRL in bronze.

“T-This is an honor, sir.” She stumbled, picking it up. It was funny how valuable a small badge would be. How much weight and responsibility it held while being almost as light as a feather.

“I want you to wear it on the first day back.” He gave a small smile.

“I understand, Professor. I can’t thank you enough-“

“Hush child. Come next year, you’ll curse me out for giving you the responsibilities.”

In their final year at Hogwarts, they made it their best year yet. They went to all the Quidditch games and Hogsmeade trips. They studied their hardest and gave it their all. When they graduated, they both got “Exceeds Expectations” and “Outstanding” in all the subjects needed to apply for the Auror Training Program. These subjects were Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Charms.

~*~*~

Auror training required strenuous work to complete, but nothing they couldn’t handle. It was mandatory to undergo a rigorous series of character and aptitude tests. These tests showcased how well they reacted under pressure. They trained extensively in advanced magical combat, other elements of practical defense, and methods of criminal investigation.

Other training courses were Concealment and Disguise, Stealth and Tracking, Battle Instinct, Best-Laid Plans, Duelling in the Dark, Field Training, History of the Dark Arts, Method in the Mad-Eye, Resilience Training, and The Auror Advantage; while poisons and antidotes were also essential studies. Their training lasted for three years and was difficult work.

(Y/N) excelled in courses like Battle Instinct and Dueling in the Dark. Victoria showed her prowess in courses like Stealth and Tracking and Best-Laid Plans. Their personalities complimented each other. Apart, they had their successes, but together? They were a force not to be reckoned with. You’ve heard of power couples, but they were a powerful dynamic duo.

The Ministry of Magic in the Investigation Department is where they started. They were the department’s secret weapon. The only people who knew of them were those also in the Investigation Department. If they left the department due to any reason, they would be obliviated of their memory of (Y/N) and Victoria.

•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•

Another report was finalized and another dark wizard in Azkaban. In celebration, Victoria had convinced (Y/N) to go out to a pub with her. Coincidentally, the muggle world was celebrating a victory of their own.

At the pub, (Y/N) and Victoria was sitting at the bar, both on their second glass of Sidecar cocktail. Their work clothes were more wrinkled than usual as they relaxed on the stools.

The place was hot (despite it being winter), loud, and reeked of perfume and alcohol. People were celebrating the victory of “The War to End All Wars”. Men in uniforms were all around. Some were at home with loved ones. Others were kissing random strangers at the pub or hanging around with their mates. Then there were a couple of groups raising a glass to their fallen comrades.

“I’m headed to the restroom. You coming?” Victoria asked after finishing her glass.

(Y/N) swished her drink in her glass. “I’m good. I’ll wait here for you.”

Victoria nodded, “Alright, dear. Remember no boys, and if one won’t leave you alone- hex him or punch him.”

(Y/N) gave her a look.

Victoria laughed. “Be alert.” She said before leaving.

She nodded, “I will, Vi. I always am.” (Y/N) let out a sigh as she watched Victoria walk towards the restroom.

Her train of thought started with work but soon drifted to Newt. Over the years, she and Newt continued to stay in touch. Since she graduated, Newt had served on the Eastern Front- not in the war, no. He was there to wrangle some Ukrainian Ironbellys. That year, Augustus Worme commissioned him to write a book about magical creatures.

“Of course he took the job. It’s the perfect job for him…” She mumbled before taking another sip.

If there was anything (Y/N) wanted to do right now, it would be to go home. Being at a pub wasn’t her thing- neither was it Victoria’s, but she let it slide this time. ‘To whatever God or higher celestial being up there, please keep Newt safe.’ She thought, staring at the remaining liquid.

“Hey, what’s a pretty little lady like you doing in a place like this all by herself?” A male voice cooed as he sat on the barstool to her left.

Snapping out of her thoughts, (Y/N) turned to face a man in uniform. He had short blonde hair (but if it were any longer, it would break regulation) and light brown eyes. Attractive? Yes. Her type? Definitely not.

“I’m not here by myself,” (Y/N) eyed the single chevron patch sewn on the upper half of his uniform’s sleeve. “-Private.” She said before meeting his gaze. “I’m here with a friend.”

“Private Keaton Williams.” He said as he took one of her hands in his, bringing it up to kiss her knuckles.

‘Merlin’s beard. Where’s Victoria?’ She thought as she saw the satisfaction on his face. (Y/N) slowly retracted her hand, holding it close to her chest.

“Thank you, Private- er, Williams. But I should be looking for my friend.” She said, getting ready to stand.

He held onto her wrist, preventing her from leaving. “Come on. We both know it’s a lie. You’re not really here with anyone.” Keaton teased.

She tried to think of a way to turn him down. She couldn’t hex him- he was a muggle. There were rules about using magic in the presence of muggles! And she couldn’t punch him. How could she punch a man who had fought for the country she called home?

“She’s with me.” said another male’s voice. This time, it came from behind her.

Keaton looked past (Y/N) to see another man in uniform. “Oh wow. I’m another bloke in a uniform. What makes you so special?” He mocked.

“I don’t condone men flaunting their uniform as a way to catch a woman’s heart.” The one behind her replied. “I’ve dealt with idiots like him. Play along.” He whispered in her ear. (Y/N) nodded, before taking back her wrist.

“I know how to get what I want 's all,” Keaton boasted, then turned his attention back to (Y/N). “Let’s go, love. Let this soldier show you a good time.”

(Y/N) turned to get a look at her savior. Oh great. Yet she stared for a second longer- he looked so familiar.

Shaking her head from her thoughts, she leaned into his chest. “I’m sorry, Private Williams. You had no chance from the start. This soldier had already caught my attention.”

The man looked shocked for a split second before playing along with her little skit. “Ah yes. I’m glad I was able to return home to the love of my life all in one piece.” He said before wrapping an arm around (Y/N)’s shoulder.

She blushed. ‘Love of his life? No- stop it. It’s a ruse.’

Keaton looked at the other, eyeing his rank. “What’s a Sergeant got that I don’t?”

The man shifted, a crimson ribbon pinned to the pocket flap of his left breast pocket revealing itself. “I have the right mind to back off when a woman says no.”

Keaton looked again, seeing the ribbon, and gasped. The Victoria Cross Award. “Y-You’re him. T-That Theseus guy… The War Hero.”

Theseus. The name of her saviour was revealed!

Theseus rolled his eyes. “It’s Sergeant to you. Now scram before I report you to your commanding officer.”

“Y-Yes Sergeant,” Keaton said before walking away from the pair.

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief as she relaxed her shoulders. “Thank you… Theseus, was it?”

Theseus hummed in agreement, removing his arm from her shoulder. “It’s no problem…” He trailed off, running his hand through his hair.

She turned in her chair to face him. His hair now slightly messed up due to his recent action. His uniform suited him- good and squared away. But his face. It was so damn familiar. It was as if she’d seen those blue eyes somewhere before.

“Uh… Like what you see?” Theseus joked.

(Y/N) blushed. “I-I didn’t mean to stare…” A small pause before sticking her hand out, “I’m (Y/N).”

Theseus gently took her hand, bringing it to his lips, and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. “Theseus. Charmed to meet you.”

‘Did… Did he just…?’ (Y/N) giggled, taking her hand back and interlocking her fingers together. “So what’s a wizard like you serving in the military?”

He sighed, sitting on the seat that was once Victoria’s, “The military part was a cover-up to get me on the front lines. Even if the muggles were at war, that didn’t mean dark wizards would stop their heinous crimes. I was working double time. A field agent for the Ministry and a Sergeant for the British Armed Forces.”

(Y/N) nodded. “Thank you for your service… For our world and theirs.” She smiled at him.

The silence was deafening between them, but it wasn’t awkward in any way. It was more comforting.

(Y/N) brought herself to look at his eyes again, her pupils dilating. His eyes made her heart swell with love- the type of love she reserved only for Newt. Though, she couldn’t help but spill a little bit of that to Theseus. Love at first sight?

Theseus returned the smile. How could someone, let alone a stranger he met, be this beautiful? His mind drifted to a small montage of made-up scenarios. He could see a growing relationship with her- a family even. Would his mother approve? Would Newt approve? She’d make a great addition to the Scamander family.

“Sorry I took too long. Ready to- Merlin, (Y/N)! I leave for five minutes!” Victoria’s voice yelled from behind Theseus.

“Sorry about that.” (Y/N) mumbled.

He turned in his seat to face Victoria. “I-I’m sure you’d like an explanation, but first, hello.” He stuttered.

(Y/N) emerged from behind him, walking over to her friend. “Vi! This is Theseus. Theseus this is my best friend, Victoria.”

‘He looks so familiar. I’ve seen his face somewhere before.’ Victoria thought.

•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•

On Theseus and (Y/N)’s first date, they went to a coffee shop.

“So you’re part of the law enforcement? Are you sure you retired from your military work?” She joked.

Theseus chuckled softly before sipping on his tea- he was never a coffee person. “First, yes. I’m retired. And yes, I work within law enforcement. I’m what you call “well respected”. And what about you, love?”

She blushed. “I work in the field then do some paperwork. That’s all. Nothing that special.”

“Hm…” He thought for a moment before an idea popped into his head. “Ever thought about working for the Ministry? They could use a couple of recruits in the Auror Department. I’m sure Victoria would join as well. Training is only about three years and with your skills, I’m sure you two would be a great Aurors.”

(Y/N) smiled before sipping on her cup of coffee. ‘Only if you knew…’

~*~*~

For their next date, they went out for a walk in the park. It was cold out, so they wore their long coats and their house scarves.

“No way! You were a Hufflepuff? I thought you were a Gryffindor!” (Y/N) exclaimed as he neared their meeting spot.

Theseus smiled, “Well, hello to you too.” He then stood in front of her, ruffling her hair. “Well then, Little Miss Ravenclaw, aren’t you full of surprises?” He teased.

She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “What house did you think I was in…?”

He gestured to his Hufflepuff scarf.

“If the Sorting Hat sorted me again, I’m pretty sure I’d be in Hufflepuff. If Victoria got sorted again… She’d definitely be a Slytherin.”

“Then again, you’re the feistiest Ravenclaw I’ve ever met.” Theseus teased, poking her cheek softly.

(Y/N) swatted his hand away from her face, “W-Well you’re the cockiest Hufflepuff I’ve ever met.

~*~*~

The third time they went out, they went to a fancy restaurant.

“Theseus… Where are we going?” She asked as they walked hand in hand.

“Somewhere special. I’ve been dying to take you out here for months.”

“Oh?” She asked. “What did I do to deserve this?”

He smiled as they turned the corner. “Ah, here we are!”

(Y/N) looked at the building and gasped. “Theseus… The Ritz?! This must've cost you a fortune!”

He kissed her cheek, “Anything for you.”

~*~*~

Then came their fourth date. Theseus had decided on that night, he’d make their relationship official. He would’ve done it sooner, but he’d only met her a year ago. He wanted time to get to know her and make sure it wasn’t an impulse decision. To his surprise, she agreed. So after a year-long wait, he took his chance. Nothing to lose… right?

After dinner, they decided to take a walk in the park. A last-minute plan she was not dressed for.

“You know, despite its kleptomania for shiny things, I always wanted a Niffler. They’re such interesting creatures.” She admitted.

Theseus chuckled- a sound that was now music to (Y/N)’s ears. “You sound like my brother. He’s into all that care of magical creatures stuff. Me? Not so much.”

She hummed, “I’d like to meet your brother sometime…”

“I’ll set up a date for all us to have tea when he comes back from his travels.”

“C-Can’t wait!” She stuttered as she rubbed her upper arms for warmth.

He noticed this and nonchalantly removed his coat. He draped it over her shoulders, “Sorry. It’s my fault you’re cold.”

She held the lapels of his coat, “But now you’ll get cold!”

“It looks better on you than it did me.” He gave her a playful wink.

(Y/N) gasped as she remembered a moment like that. All those years ago at Hogwarts- with Newt. Though she dismissed the thoughts of her first love. Newt wasn’t there with her. Theseus was. Newt hadn’t taken her out on those wonderful dates. Theseus had. Newt didn’t love her. Theseus did- or so she hoped.

Theseus had stopped them in front of a water fountain. The sound of trickling water and the echoes of the city filled the silence. He shoved his hands into his pockets. Were his hands always this sweaty? He took a deep breath and exhaled. It was now or never.

“Theseus, darling, A-Are you alright?” She asked, one of her hands cupping his cheek.

He hummed and leaned into her touch. Despite the cold, her hand was radiating so much warmth. He looked at her lovingly, “Yes, dear. Everything is fine.”

“(Y/N)… During my Hogwarts years, I never gave dating a second thought. And after I graduated, I immediately started working for the Ministry. Then I got sent to war. Merlin- I never want to step foot in a muggle war ever again.” He paused to make sure she was paying attention.

Her hand returned to the warmth of his coat. She nodded, giving him the okay to continue.

“And when I returned home, I was so set on returning to my duties at the Ministry. Then I met you. You wonderful, beautiful, intelligent woman. I couldn’t believe that I caught your attention. I know I’m rambling and your feet must be in pain for standing for so long, so let me ask you this.” He paused for a second. “Will you allow me to date you properly? To make this- us, official?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Theseus… I never thought you’d ask. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

Full of joy, Theseus wrapped his arms around her and spun around. Their laughs mixed, composing a duet that harmonized with each other perfectly.

When he set her down, she sighed in content. “Oh, Theseus…”

He cupped her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. “Can… Can I kiss you?”

She nodded. “Yes-”

He cut her response short, closing the gap between their lips.

•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•

The New Year’s season came to pass and it was the start of the 1920s. Victoria and (Y/N) transferred to the Aurors Department. Effective immediately. They loved the Investigation Department and everyone there. Must've been something serious if their transfer was immediate.

Little did they know, Theseus was the Head of the Auror department.

On the way to the meeting room, (Y/N) was ranting about the sudden change. Victoria was saying her thoughts about the matter but listened to her friend’s distress. They walked past an office and Victoria caught the nameplate on the door that read “Theseus Scamander”

Scamander? Oh-

Before Victoria could ask questions, they had gotten to the meeting room. There were other Aurors in the department. Everyone there knew each other, so Victoria and (Y/N) were the “newbies”.

Victoria turned to (Y/N), “Hey… You know that boyfriend of yours, did you by any chance get his last name?” She whispered.

(Y/N) shrugged, “No. I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Well, let me tell you-”

The Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Torquil Travers, entered the room from the back entrance. “Fellow Aurors! As you all know, Grindelwald is gathering up recruits for his “For the Greater Good” revolution. All of you are here today to form up a special task force in bringing him and his organization down. Leading you in this endeavor is the new Head of Auror Office and retired War Hero, Theseus Scamander.”

A round of applause erupted, welcoming the new Head of Auror Office.

Turning towards Travers, Victoria clapped along. “I’m sure it’s not your Theseus-”

“Oh shit.” (Y/N) cursed as she saw her beloved walk through the doors.

Theseus nodded as he walked towards his new task force.

Travers patted his back, “You’ll need to choose an assistant and a communications liaison, but take your time.”

Theseus scanned the room. He knew all of the people, some he trusted, and some he didn’t. Then he saw a pair he knew all too well- but he only saw them outside of work- (Y/N) and Victoria.

(Y/N) gave a shy smile, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Victoria smirked, “You’re screwed.”

As the applause died down, Theseus announced, “I’ve already chosen the people for the positions. For my assistant, I’ll be having Miss (Y/N) (L/N).”

She blushed as she felt everyone’s eyes on her. Though slightly confused, the other Aurors in the room applauded.

Victoria leaned down again, “Try not to make too much noise in his office, eh?”

(Y/N) opened her mouth to gasp, but nothing came out. “I would never!”

“And my Communications Liaison will be Miss Victoria Howard.”

(Y/N) nudged her friend, “You’re stuck with us now.”

Victoria laughed nervously, waving at everyone. “Brilliant…”

~*~*~

The three of them were in Theseus’ office. (Y/N) was pacing back and forth as Theseus was sitting at his desk and Victoria leaning against the bookshelf.

“Why me? Why another Scamander?” She groaned in agony. “How did I not know!” She muttered.

“Love, what’s the problem?” Theseus asked, slightly worried.

“You wouldn’t by any chance have a brother would you?” Victoria asked, looking at him.

“Yeah.” He replied, his attention still towards (Y/N), who was still pacing back and forth.

“About this tall?” She said, extending her arm to its highest point.

“Around there.”

“Loves magical creatures?” She asked, now crossing her arms over her chest.

“More than life itself.”

“Got expelled from Hogwarts in his sixth year?”

“Yes. Wait, how did you-”

“I figured.” She gave a curt nod before looking at her distressed friend. “Honey, you need to calm down.”

(Y/N) stopped in her tracks and faced Victoria. Her eyes were on the verge of tears.

Victoria's expression softened as she shoved aside the blunt responses she had prepared in her mind. “Hey… Come here…” She cooed as she walked over to her with arms wide open.

(Y/N) quickly ran into Victoria’s embrace, letting the tears fall. She mumbled something into her shoulder.

“What was that, dear?” She asked softly.

(Y/N) pulled away, “I said, what am I going to tell Newt? I’ve told him that I recently got a boyfriend. How is he going to react when it’s his brother?”

Victoria rolled her eyes. “What’s it to him? He’s your best friend.” She said, emphasizing the fact that Newt was just her friend. “If it’s his brother or not, who you date is not his business.”

Theseus stood from his seat and walked over to the pair. “If it makes you feel better, we can invite him over for tea and tell him.”

(Y/N) moves from Victoria’s arms and walks over to Theseus. “I… I think I’d like that.”

•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•

Despite Theseus and (Y/N)’s relationship, they never let it get in the way of their work. (Y/N) had the same workload and deadlines as the others in the task force.

Victoria was still expected to represent the Ministry’s Auror department, write news releases, and coordinate the distribution of information along with her fieldwork.

Theseus randomly assigned partners in every stakeout or raid- mostly because he’d feel like he’d protect the hell out of (Y/N) if she was paired up with him all the time. (Y/N) was capable, and he knew that.

Though there are sometimes where one of them got hurt and the other can’t help but care for them.

(Y/N) had made Theseus take off his blazer and rolled up the sleeve of his left arm. Blood dripped from the wound caused by one of Grindelwald’s recruits. She sat on a short stool with a bucket of warm water off to the side, just within arms reach.

Theseus slouched in the chair, flinching at the slightest touches (Y/N) made with the towel. She had wiped off all the dried blood surrounding the wound. Then she started dabbing the towel ever so gently on top of it. The towel was damp and warm, but it didn’t make the pain any softer.

He grimaced as he inhaled sharply, jerking his arm away from her.

“I need to clean your wound, love” (Y/N) said, reaching over to where he moved his arm.

“But (Y/N) it hurts!” He whined.

“You’re being childish.” She replied.

“W-Well you’re not the one on the receiving end!”

“Honey, you were a soldier. I’m sure you’ve dealt with more serious wounds than this…”

“That’s because I didn’t have someone as cute as you cleaning me up.”

“Flattery won’t get your wound cleaned up.”

“Can’t you just use a spell?”

“Unlike most wizards, I like to do some things without the use of magic.”

He huffed childishly, not looking at her.

“If you didn’t move, it wouldn’t hurt as much.”

Theseus grumbled, still moving his arm away.

“Theseus Scamander, hold still or so help me I will hex you!”

“I thought we didn’t allow magic in the bedroom~” He teased.

“Theseus! We’re at work!”

•✦.✧.🔎.✧.✦•

After months of asking and asking, Theseus had finally convinced Newt to come and visit him- to finally meet his girlfriend. (Y/N) had already decided on the tea so they were waiting for Newt to arrive.

As they waited, Theseus was looking over some reports as (Y/N) was leaning on his bookshelf, doing some light reading.

He sighed, setting the papers in his hand back down on his desk. Glancing over to (Y/N), he smiled, ‘She’s beautiful even when she’s reading…’

Theseus looked at her ensemble. A white long-sleeved button-up, a grey vest with a matching blazer, and dress pants. He looked at his suit- the same color scheme. Were they always matching?

He looked at her again and noticed that this time, she wore a tie with her suit, but not just any tie. A yellow and black tie- His Hufflepuff tie. Theseus smiled, “Hey (L/N), nice tie.”

(Y/N) nodded, turning the page of her book. “Yeah? I put it on this morning.” She said nonchalantly.

Theseus stood and made his way over. When he stood in front of her, he took the book from her hands and set it to the side. “Where’d you get it?”

She looked up at him. Was he always this tall? “Hogwarts. From when I went there. Duh.”

“Really? Because I remember you telling me that you were a Ravenclaw,” He said untucking the tie from under her vest. “This is clearly a Hufflepuff tie.” He held up the end of the tie in her line of view.

(Y/N) gasped. “I swear, it was an honest mistake!”

“Hmm…” He trailed off. “I kind of like seeing you in my ties. It’s cute.” He said, leaning in close.

“Thes… We’re at work… A-And your brother could walk in any minute-”

His fingers slid up the material, finally wrapping around the knot. “Yeah… But I haven’t kissed you since we left my flat…” He whispered, tugging softly as if to bring her closer.

She could feel herself leaning in close. Her lip mere millimeters away-

“Here we are! Head of Aurors Office!” Victoria said, opening the door to Theseus’ office. She and Newt walked in.

(Y/N) quickly pushed Theseus away, shoving the tie back under her vest.

“Newt!” (Y/N) exclaimed, shoving herself off the bookshelf.

“Brother!” Theseus said happily as he walked over to Newt.

There, Newt stood in a nice suit, a mustard yellow vest, and a blue overcoat. In his hand was a suitcase. The enchanted suitcase that (Y/N) had read so much about in his letters.

“Wait, when you told me in your letter that you had a boyfriend, you never told me it was my brother,” Newt said, slightly hurt.

“We meant to tell you!” Theseus said defensively.

“When? When I catch you almost snogging each other?” Newt retorted, glaring at his brother

“No! It would be over tea! Which we would be having right now…” She pouted.

“I think… I think I’d like a rain check on that…” He said as he started to back away.

“Newt! Don’t do this!” Victoria pleaded.

He finally turned around and walked to the door. When he got there, he stopped in Victoria’s line of view. Newt didn’t face her. He looked straight ahead, grip tightening on the handle of his case. “You knew and didn’t tell me?” Newt asked bitterly.

Victoria placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She opened her mouth to say something and for once, she didn’t have a blunt response or snarky remark. “It wasn’t my position to say…”

Newt scoffed. “It would’ve been nice to know beforehand,” He said before shoving her hand off and walking away from Theseus’ office. Away from his brother. Away from his friend. Away from her. Newt hadn’t seen then in so long and now that he had the chance… He just left…?

(Y/N) quickly ran after him, “Newt, wait!”

Victoria leaned against the door frame, banging the back of her head against the wood. “It’s always a Scamander…”

Theseus looked at Victoria. “Did… Did they have something?”

Victoria sighed, stopping from her current action to look at Theseus. “It’s not my position to say…”

~*~*~

In the hallway, (Y/N) finally caught up to Newt. She held onto the material of his sleeve.

“Back there,” She panted. “What was that about?”

“You… You’re dating my brother?” He asked. Stupid question, but he needed to hear it again to make sure he wasn’t imagining it.

“Yeah, what’s it to you?” (Y/N) said, but her tone made it sound rude.

“Didn’t think he’d be your type…” Newt mumbled.

“And you know what my type is?” She replied, slightly offended.

“I…” Newt paused. ‘I was hoping that it’d be me.’ He thought.

(Y/N) sighed, finally letting go of his sleeve. “Look, you’re my best friend and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’ll admit that it was my fault, but I don’t want to lose you just because I’m dating your brother. I-”

“What?” Newt interrupted. “One Scamander isn’t enough? You need both of us in your life, do you? Why do you need me? You already have Theseus wrapped around your fingers.” He snapped.

“What is up with you, Newton?” She groaned in frustration. “You know what? Now is not the time. I’ll give you all the time and space you need. When you’re ready to talk about this, I’m only an owl away.” She turned to leave, but not before saying something that made Newt realize how he felt about his best friend.

“Just know that before Theseus,” She paused. “It was always you.”

#fbawtft #fbtcog #theseus scamander x reader #theseus scamander #fantastic beasts fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #Series: ILYMS

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larryfanficwriter98 · 4 years ago

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Chapter Eleven

*Fake It Until You Make It Real*

**I've been asked and here it is! This story has a playlist on Spotify under the same title as the story made by Kelly with the same profile picture! If you have any trouble let me know. There will also be one for my other story Falling In Love Through The Phone**

*playlist link (I think)*

Louis walked into the kitchen confused as he looked around the house. Harry was only in the Halloween sleep pants he had slipped on after they decided to get out of bed.

"Where is everyone?" Louis asked walking up behind Harry and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Oh, Liam and Niall offered to take the dogs on a walk and Freddie asked if he could go too. I told them I didn't know how you'd feel considering you just met them, and Zayn and Amy offered to go along so I agreed. And before you worry, they completely understood and were not offended at all. They left about ten minutes ago. Freddie has taken to Niall though; Niall was showing him my guitars and how to play them. Niall has already promised a kid guitar as a Christmas gift for both the kids."

"Anyway, we can convince him to take it back and claim he couldn't find any?" Louis asked.

"Afraid not. Freddie was too excitedly about it and I don't break little hearts."

"Only little ones?" Louis teased.

"Well, you are little- Ow! Not the nipples." Harry said turning to face Louis and wrap his own arms around him, "come on I have a surprise for you."

"Oh, you do. What is it?" Harry didn't answer just kept his arms around him as he led them towards the second living room making Louis walk backwards. Louis tried to look but Harry turned him around and covered his eyes, "what? Harold!"

"Relax you'll be fine." Suddenly he was stopped and shifted around then the hands were removed. When he looked, he noticed they were in the small sunroof with breakfast laid out on a blanket and candles that filled the room with a beachy scent and a record player playing at a low volume.

"What is this?" Louis asked.

"It's breakfast silly. Don't mind the half-eaten waffle Freddie demanded it." Louis laughed as he watched Harry grabbed the plain half eaten waggle off a plate and toss it into the main hall as if it never was there, "I really hope that wasn't in the photos I took."

"It adds character." Louis said grinning as he kissed Harry's cheek, "thank you this is great if with the decor Freddie added makes more special."

"Look I'm trying to impress you I don't need Freddie to show me up with his talents." Louis shook his head as he led Harry into the room by his hand making him sit down first then he slotted himself between his legs leaning back against his chest, "look I even dug out my fancy tea set." Harry said excitedly as he showed off his baby blue floral teacups and saucers.

"Very fancy. I practically feel like royalty." Louis said grinning widely, "since I'm royalty i absolutely cannot pour my own tea you'll have to simply do it for me."

"Ah yes how dare I make you lift a single finger." Harry said kissing his hand that he was holding while the other hand poured the tea carefully. Louis absolutely refused to admit he giggled when Harry maybe a clinking sound on accident, "Shhh it didn't happen."

"Oh yes my mistake." Louis said grabbing a chocolate drizzled fruit kabob, "I heard not a thing."

"Exactly." Harry said pressing a kiss against his cheek as he grabbed his own kabob, "who says romance is dead with kids."

"The half-eaten waffle decor definitely says something." Breakfast was finished between laughter and sips of tea, but that apparently wasn't all Harry had planned. He was up and changing the record to something else. When the vinyl was in and the needle was moved Harry pulled Louis up to his feet.

"Dance with me."

"Dance with you to what?" Louis asked skeptically even if he did wrap an arm around Harry and slide his hand in his free one. Before Harry had a chance to respond Shania Twin filled the room and Louis grinned, "I knew I was marrying a man with good taste. Though I must say I'm shocked it's not Abba."

"Oh, don't worry they're in the list of potential wedding songs. After all we do have quite the story to tell with our first dance. Who knows maybe Abba tells it better than Shania. Hard to believe I know, but it's possible." Louis didn't even deem that worthy of a response especially when the introduction ended, and the first words started to play.

Looks like we made it Look how far we've come, my baby We mighta took the long way We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on We're still together, still going strong

You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of You're still the one I kiss goodnight

Louis grinned as he and Harry sang along with the lyrics, Harry's voice mending with his perfectly as they did a simple step and sway slow dance. His hand slid in Harry's hair pulling him down for a soft slow kiss and neither of them noticed when the others came back and stood in the doorway. Louis pulled away and gently guided Harry into a spin making them both laugh before their lips met again then it was Louis' turn to spin. As the last words were sung, they're lips touched again with emotion that seemed too strong with how little they knew each other, but Louis pushed it aside jumping when their friends 'awww'd loudly causing both of them to turn and see them standing there. Liam had Freddie on his shoulders and Niall had his phone out recording them.

"You two are so cute. I'm sending this to your mother Harry." Niall said as he walked away typing something on his phone, "don't worry I'm sending it to you two as well."

"We should get dressed. Busy day today, you go ahead, and I'll clean up."

"You sure?" Louis asked.

"Yes, now leave." Harry said gently pushing Louis towards the door.

"Alright come on Freddie let's get you ready as well mister Jammies." Louis said taking Freddie groaning slightly, "You're getting big kid."

"Liam says I'm light."

"Yeah, for him he has biceps the size of China. We don't listen to him." Louis grumbled hearing the lads laugh as he walked away.

****

Shopping was Harry was different than he expected or imagined. Since Harry didn't worry about money Louis had assumed Harry just tossed things in without much thought process and just swiped his card without worry. Turns out he was very wrong. Everything Harry bought he had a purpose for which really shouldn't have surprised Louis now that he thought about it. Though Harry also pretended not to notice when Freddie snuck snacks into the cart and buried them under things and Louis didn't say anything wishing for Harry to stop him when it was enough. Freddie was currently on his tenth box and Harry was reading the back of a noodle box as if it weren’t just a box of noodles that he had in his cupboards at the house. When Freddie had successfully hidden it only then did Harry coincidentally finish as well and put it in the cart pretending to not notice the junk food in his cart.

"What?" Harry asked innocently when Louis continued to stare at him, "I was reading the ingredients making sure they hadn't changed it."

"Uh huh. I'm not saying anything. It’s all on you this time." Harry looked betrayed but then he sniffed and turned away from Louis.

"Fine. I can totally say no when I need to." Harry said grabbing a few different boxes of pasta before he pushed the cart down a different aisle.

"Papa." Freddie whispered tugging on Louis' hand.

"Yes?"

"Harry needs cookies."

"Oh, he does?" Louis asked looking at Harry who was humming as he quickly grabbed two of the same jams and read the backs of them as if they were different.

"Yeah, but we have to be sneaky about it. I am a break hider with Harry because he reads a lot unlike you so we can sneak in a lot I bet."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, and I reckon if we guess his favorite, he won't say no no matter how many we bring back, so I think we being back one of each."

"Wow you thought this one through. One of each you said." Louis said looking at Harry who started pushing the cart forward, "hey Haz."

"Yes, my darling?" Harry asked innocently as he looked back at them.

"Freddie and I are going to go look around you uh...have anything to say to us?"

"Have fun. Make smart choices." Harry said before he hurried down the aisle, Louis shook his head as he grabbed Freddie's hand and followed him down to the correct isle.

Harry didn't question it when Freddie practically begged that he and Louis unload the cart while Harry stood with his back to the belt. Louis shook his head glad he had sneakily snuck out the snacks he knew Freddie wouldn't miss or have eaten while Freddie and Harry had been picking fruits and vegetables. Harry didn't even question why there was ten boxes of random snacks in the produce section as he kept Freddie distracted by letting him push the cart.

"You're welcome." Louis had whispered.

"No idea what you are talking about."

"Uh huh." Harry grinned turning to peck him on his lips but never admitted to anything.

"Papa I think some things fell out but that’s okay. I think he would have noticed if we had too much." Freddie whispered.

"I think you're right. It must have fallen out when we helped rearrange the cart." Louis whispered back.

"Yeah, I think so too."

The cashier was grinned as she swiped the junk food boxes after having swiped the things Harry and Louis had picked out for dinners and lunches. The last fifteen items were obviously picked by a child and was obviously a 'secret'. She even played along by double bagging the items and sneakily handing them over the belt with a wink. Louis then pushed the cart ahead and started putting the bags in the cart while Harry paid for the groceries grinning. When everything was packed Louis moved ahead out of the way and helped Freddie put on his jacket. When Harry came over shoving his wallet and receipt into his pocket Freddie was ready to go out to the chilly October weather. When they got to the Murano Louis got Freddie into the booster first then went around and helped Harry finished packing everything. When they were back in the Murano Louis made sure Freddie was strapped in correctly before he buckled himself.

The drive to the apartment building was short and when Harry parked, he kept the Murano running and leaned over to kiss Louis on the lips.

"I'll be back."

"Okay we'll be here." Harry got out and hurried inside the building to escape the chilly breeze that accompanied the end of October. He hurried inside the elevator and pressed the fifth-floor button and then to room 409, He pulled out his phone and went to the camera app pressing the record button then he put the phone in his shirt pocket, so the camera was visible. His lawyer told him never to talk to her about Maddie without recording the conversation whenever possible and make sure to get her face so they could prove it was her. When it was situated, he knocked on the red door and waited only a few seconds before it was opened revealing Hannah dressed in a very revealing dress that Harry quickly averted his eyes upon seeing.

"Where's Maddie?" Harry asked stepping inside the apartment when she widen the door for him to enter.

"She's in her room." Harry tensed when Hannah's hand touched his shoulder. He quickly moved away from it and looked at her, "oh come on Harry...Danny isn't here, and Maddie doesn't have to know."

"I'm not interested. I'm also not available as you know. I'm engaged. I'm just here for my daughter. Maddie!"

"Daddy!" Harry grinned turning when a door opened and Maddie came out with a small suitcase making him frown slightly, "I'm ready."

"That's great princess what all did you pack? You look like you're ready to run away." Harry teased assuming she had packed toys or something.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you you're getting her for a week because Dan and I are leaving to look at a few homes in America where his transfer will be."

"A week? That would have been nice to know before today."

"It's a week or nothing. We leave tonight and we don't have a ticket for her, so we'd drop her off as Dan's parents’ place tonight otherwise.”

“Well, no I want her. Of course, I want her I just wish you would have told me. But thank you anyway for letting me keep her for the week.”

“You could thank me in another way.” She suggested.

“Not interested. Ready to go Mads?”

“She already ate so there’s no need to feed her dinner tonight.” Hannah said stepping closer, Harry immediately stepped back and opened the door.

“Goodbye Hannah.”

“Bye Harry.” She said slowly smiling as she wiggled her fingers. Harry ignored her and hurried out of the apartment with Maddie’s hand in his and her suitcase in the other hand.

“Daddy why does mom want me to you about you two getting back together upfront of Louis?” Harry pulled his eyebrows together and looked at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Mom said I had to ask you about you and her getting back together as soon as we got in the car if Louis was in the passenger seat. I asked her why and she told me it doesn’t matter to just do it.”

“Oh well I’m not sure, but I would prefer it if you didn’t. It can cause some tension that I really would rather not have inside the car. Your mother and I are not getting back together and there is no reason to ask that, okay? I’m marrying Louis and we are planning to stay together for a very very very long time.”

“like a Happily Ever After long time?”

“Yes, just like that. You’re going to be at the wedding and Freddie will be there. He’s going to be the ring bearer and you’re the flower girl. You’ll have a sort of baby aunt to help walk down as well. She’s only a baby you like that idea?”

“Yes, I can help her walk and help her throw petals on the ground, right?”

“Right. But don’t tell Louis I’ve already got it all planned out he has to feel included too.” Harry said jokingly making her giggle as he tickled her, “Promise?”

“I promise it’s our little secret daddy.” Harry grinned before he noticed something.

“Where’s your coat?”

“I don’t have one…well I have one, but it stops here.” She said pointing to her mid forearm, “and it’s tight and I don’t like it.”

“I gave your mother fifty pounds last week to get you a new one.”

“She spent it on the jacket, but it doesn’t fit, and I told her it didn’t fit but it was the only one the thrift store had.”

“The thrift store I gave her fifty pounds for a winter coat. She didn’t have to- it’s fine we’ll get you two one for me and one you’ll keep at your mothers, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, daddy.”

“You don’t need to thank me for getting you essential items like coats, but you’re welcome.” Harry pulled his phone out and ended the video making sure it had recorded the entire time before shoving it in his pocket. Once they got to the front doors, he made sure to have a good grip on her suitcase and her body as he lifted her up before he ran out into the cold making her squeal with laughter, “RUN RUN RUN RUN.” Harry said laughing as he got to the Murano and pulled it open as she giggled, “There we go all toasty. Get in your booster and buckle up.” Harry told her closing the door then hurrying to the driver seat.

“I told you to put a coat on.” Louis told him as he rubbed his arm.

“Tell me you were right later.” Harry grumbled as he pulled his phone out and set it in the little cubicle, “We have to go to a department store for Maddie to get her a coat. Does Freddie need one for winter?”

“No, I go shopping for the after-winter sales and get him a size up for the next winter. He has a coat and gloves and a hate. He’s all set for winter.”

“Smart man. I knew I was marrying you for a reason.” Louis rolled his eyes with a grin, but he leaned into the kiss Harry pressed against his cheek, “we need to talk when we get home for a few minutes about Hannah.” Harry whispered against his ear before pressing another kiss there to disguise it. Louis nodded letting him know he heard him, so Harry pulled back but kept one of his hands intertwined with Louis’ as he pulled out of the parking space.

********

Two hours later Harry and Louis were finally finished putting everything away and the kids were successfully distracted with each other and the toys, so Harry pulled Louis into his home office and pulled out his phone.

“My lawyer has always told me to record every conversation I have with Hannah as much as possible so that’s what I did. Anyway, I’m not worried about what happened inside the apartment for obvious reason what I want you to really focus on is inside the elevator, but I’ll let you see whole the video anyway.” Harry said handing the phone to Louis as he sat in the desk chair and Louis sat on his desk, his legs in his arm rest holes pulling the chair in closer making Harry grin at how cute he was. Harry didn’t pay much attention to the video, but he knew when Louis got to the part where Hannah started coming on to him more and more. He’d make a face and his hand in Harry’s hair would tighten briefly but then came to the part where Maddie asked about Hannah tell her to ask the question upfront of Louis. His eyebrows rose and he grinned as if he found it amusing and when the video ended Louis laughed sliding down to straddle Harry’s lap.

“Even if Maddison had asked that it wouldn’t have bothered me.” Louis said.

“You got upset with the florist commented about my eyes sparkling with artificial bluebells.”

“Yeah, because she was wrong.” Louis said with an eye roll, “Your eyes sparkled with the purple Ranunculus.”

“Right the flowers we never even went near.” Louis rolled his eyes with a grin as he stood up, “How could I have forgotten those.”

“Someone’s sarcastic today and I don’t know if I like it, Harold.” Louis said with his arms folded, “It might hurt my feelings.”

��No not your feelings!” Harry said in fake outrage before he quickly wrapped his arms around Louis and kissed his face multiple times until he was pushing him away and running out of the room. Harry grinned as he grabbed his phone and hurried after him only to see he had teamed up with Freddie and Maddie in the matter of three seconds and all three of them had nerf guns points at him.

“CHARGE!” Louis shouted as he ran up the stairs and they ran after him shooting at him.

#Larry Stylinson #larry shippers #larries #larry stylinson fanfiction #larry fanfiction #fake marriage #nonfamous au #larry fake marraige au #doctor harry styles #teacher louis #parents au #Wattpad #archive of our own

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strawberries-n-sugar · 4 years ago

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FUNKY FLAVORS & OLD TUNES

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Short! "Skinny"! White reader (please don't be offended and if you are then don't read? I can only find specifically x black reader, x plus size reader, x tall reader for every character and I enjoy reading all of those things because I have a imagination but I am none of those things so just something from the other perspective and it isn't meant to offend anyone :), hope you ALL enjoy. This isn't meant to show hate to anyone, just show some love to people who arent those three things)

Warnings: maybe some 18+ (I write straight from my head), old music, old funk and groove music, horniness, corniness, puns, sarcasm, innuendos, maybe some old doo wop, maybe some 90s, a plethera of music in a variety of forms, nerdiness, uhm, thats it? Oh, Daddy! Sam at the end and not the kinky kind XD, interracial relationship (I dont know why that is a warning but some people get offended so I thought I would play it safe), bad dancing my a short bitch who think she has the skills of Tom Hiddles, maybe some sad talk, Steve and Buck being matchmakers

Summary: Things have been rough for Sam and the whole Avengers gang actually since losing Tony but Sam finds a little escape every now and then. A new little hole in the wall juice and homemade icecream joint. The owner might be stealing his heart but she can't see it, good things come in small packages, or was it dynamite? For Sam, it's both, the joint is always thumpin' and so is his heart

“Funky Flavors, that’s new?” Sam comes to a slow jog from his run as he is about to stop noticing a new business had opened just off the route he runs when he runs around the Lincoln Memorial. “I could go for some juice,” he shrugs talking to himself as he goes in, removing his earbuds from his ears. Upon walking in the first thing he notices is the music, She’s A Bad Mama Jamma by Carl Carlton blared through the small system. “Okay,” he raises a brow and looks around, the small place was empty at the moment. Figuring that the owner was in the back he let’s himself dance.

“Hey~!” He gets a little too into it as you walk out from the back. You don’t say anything and just watch smiling and trying not to laugh, being your size came in handy, quite often you go unnoticed. After a minute you decide to butt in. “Hey Shug, what can I getcha?”

“Oh shit! Huh?” He stops suddenly, caught of guard he jumps a little. “How long you been there?” “About a minute and a half, smooth moves.” “Thanks,” he rubs the back of his neck, “Wait, Shug?” “Sorry, habit, daddy called me and momma that so it stuck and now I say it.” “That’s sweet,” he smiles. “Thanks, and thankyou for stopping by.” “Yeah, noticed the new place, decided to stop by. Thirsty after the run, uh, what do you have? You ain’t from around here are you?” “No,” you giggle and hand him the menu, “I’ve got homemade icecreams and original beverages”

He looks the menu over and reads it off

Mango Mornin’ Sunrise- mango and pineapple orange juice slushie (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options)

Momma I’m Messed Up- vodka, Redbull, rum. Blueberries, blackberries, and tequila

Wet- (icecream flavor and drink; drink comes with dish of sugar dipped strawberries, homemade) starwberries, red wine; 19 Crimes

Classic Homemade Butter Pecan Icecream (optional served with homemade pecan pie)

The I’m Sorry Miss Jackson (icecream flavor and drink)- Jack Daniels, coconut and chocolate

Moonshine Milkyway- homemade icecream with Milkyway and moonshine flavor

The Send Help- Irish Trashcan with a scoop of I’m Sorry Miss Jackson on top

Pantie Dropper- (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options) smoothie with pineapple, orange, lemon, pineapple and grapefruit

Soaking Thighs- (alcoholic and non-alcoholic options) smoothie with blackberries, red grape juice, and pineapple

Thigh Rider- Red’s Apple ale with apple cider

Summer Heat- blackberry sprite beverage

F*** Me, Now- house-made strawberry juice (alcoholic and non alcoholic options)

Sam rubbed his neck and cleared his throat, “Jesus girl,” he laughs. “So what’ll it be Mr?” You ask, leaning over the counter as Let’s Get It On by Marvin Gaye comes on. “Shit, I’ll have a Fuck Me Now”

“One Fuck Me Now comin’ right now Shug,” you say shocking yourself with how you kept a straight face and not noticing how he was watching you as you made it. “Alcoholic or regular?” You glance at him.

“It’s 10 in the morning girl” “And?” “Regular, this time,” he laughs.

“Alright here you go,” you finish up and pass it to him, making your way over to the register. “I like the station, which one is it?”

You laugh, “that ain’t the radio, it’s my playlist”

“Say what?” He raises a brow like he doesn’t believe you.

“What?” You ask seriously as you ring him up.

“It’s just-”

“Just?” You shake your head and stretch your eyes.

“Well-”

“Well?”

“You’re wearing a Asking Alexandria t-shirt for one thing”

“Yeah, nice ain’t it? Soft too,” You smirk as you know the next song will address the elephant in the room as Play That Funky Music White Boy comes on and you both laugh.

“3.45″

“oh, right,” he pays you already sipping at it.

“You said this time, so, you’re coming back?”

“Maybe,” he smirks.

“Alright, I’ll hold ya to it,” you say, thinking about how you’d like him to hold you to a wall and chewing your bottom lip. You quickly remind yourself that that won’t ever happen. Guys don’t really want your type, you aren’t thicc, or super curvy, there’s no meat with your potatoes and nothing for them to hang on to, you have to have a little something to work with because thicc thighs save lives and no man wants to cuddle a stick, you aren’t a snow-bunny. All things you have heard before, and that was just about your weight and all things you have heard before, the short jokes didn’t end either much less would anyone take you seriously as a woman.

“I’ll see you later Lil Juicy,” he smiles as he leaves.

“Lil Juicy?”

“You’re little and you make juice”

“Bye,” you both laugh and you watch him walk away.

“I’ll bring some friends next time,” he calls.

“Wait!”

“Yeah?��

“I’m looking for help so if you know anyone-”

“I’ll spread the word” “Thanks, bye”

Stepping outside once the door shut behind him and the door closed behind him, “I think the new Captain America has found his Miss America,first lady? She is damn cute,” he smiles and chuckles making his way.

Days go by, and then a week, and a week and a half where Sam can’t get you out of his head and you hadn’t stopped thinking about him either but you hadn’t seen him again yet. He did spread the word because the next day his friend Wanda show’s up and she started working for you. You liked her, she was nice and a giant help but working with her became hard sometimes when customers would go googly eyed over her. You couldn’t blame them, she wasn’t thicc but she but she was you could still understand why, she was gorgeous.

“So, have you heard from Sam?” You ask her while it is slow.

“Yes, he said he was bringing Steve and Bucky today”

“Really?” Okay, that was overzealous, it didn’t help when the trio came in. Sam, and ofcourse you recognized the other two based on them being the Avengers, and through talking with Wanda.

“Alright, Steveo, you first,” Sam gets his phone out to record the old man’s reaction.

“Hello,” Steve says friendly, “Hi, what’ll it be?”

“The uh,” he clears his throat with a blush, “No need to be shy,” you encourage him. “The strawberry one”

“No, you’ve gotta say the name,” Sam teases him. “the fuck me now....” “That is a bad language word!” Sam teases and you make Steve’s drink as Bucky looks over the menu and he and Steve watch Sam watching you, glancing to each other knowingly. Well, it was obvious with how happy he was and how he chewed his bottom lip as you bent over to grab things not paying attention.

“Alright, and you Shug?” You give Steve his drink and ask Bucky what he would like

“I’ll have the Summer Heat, add vodka. Thanks,doll”

“You’re welcome,” you start making it and it was quiet except for Stand By Me by The Drifters was on and you sang along and harmonizing, Sam hums along as well harmonizing with you. “This one or Ben E King?” He asks, “this one, obviously” “Alright, :Lean On Me, Club Nouveau or the original?” “The original sucks, doesn’t flow,” you answer as you make the drink and the guys just watch the two of you as they sit with their drinks.

“You have good taste-”

“Bet you think she tastes good too,” Buck says casually and you all turn to look at him shocked.

“What?” He shrugs, “I’m 103, and I was bagging bitches in the 40′s”

You all shrug and make the touche face. Steve on the other hand was about to implode trying to remain a gentleman and not laugh. “He wants to eat strawberries from your tits,” Buck continues sipping his drink.

“Okay Pal, thanks,” Sam leans over to take it and Buck smacks his hand.

“I wouldn’t mind,” you joke honestly

“We approve,” the two old men say in unison looking at Sam.

“Ask her,” Buck edges him on and points to you with his head while you aren’t looking.

“Ask who what?” Wanda asks confused as you rise from what you were doing behind the counter.

“Y/N,” Buck answers her.

“Ask me what?”

“Would-would you maybe uhm-would you like to come record shopping with me?”

“Sure, just message me,” you exchange numbers, thinking it was meant to be a casual friend thing.

The next week after texting him almost constantly and him texting you you make arrangements. He picked you up, opened the door for you, and the day was amazing. You wandered through the record store browsing only for him to sneak up behind you and put his arms around you at some point to look in the same crate and look down to read your face to see if it was okay only to find you blushing again. He smiles feeling a sudden little boost in confidence, the pointers that Steve and Buck had given him were working. He swallows a lump in his throat, hoping you don’t notice before speaking softly by your ear.

“Want to do this again next Friday?” “S-ure, but Sam...” “Hmm?”

“Can we not do this?” “Yeah,” he pulls away, “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.....I just, well, I really-I don’t want to get the wrong idea”

“What is that?” he tilts his head.

You choose not to answer, you weren’t really allowed to answer that question as you look around gauging the room and seeing a few women who may get offended just by you telling the truth. They would probably attack you, call you a liar, mock you, definitely laugh. “I can’t answer that, I need jeans...can we swing by American Eagle-wai-,” you check your wallet to see if you will have enough. “i think I have enough for one pair,” he nods and you buy the records you want and you both leave. His hand in the middle of your back holding the door for you. “Thankyou” “You’re welcome....”

He walks to American Eagle with you as you find a assistant to help you find the one section of the store that is a half of a table that will have your petite sizes. She walks you over and Sam watches as you look through the very small section of the large store where the pants short enough in length and small enough in waist for you are and buy a pair and he looks at the other sections, pretty much the entirety of the ladies section of the store with the other jeans.

“Ready?” You come over to him with your bag. “Yeah, hang on, let me see that?”

You hand him your bag and he looks at the receipt, “Why did yours cost twice as much?”

You shrug, “this is the only place that has anything to fit me at all other than the kids section at Walmart, lets go. I’m just happy i am thicker than I used to be in high school and I can eat now and it ain’t much but I’m proud of my little booty I do have some days,” you laugh.

“So, next week?”

“Yeah, I love hanging out with you”

Sam takes you home and gets the door, it was a silent drive home. He walks you to your door.

“Thanks Sam, I had fun,” you start to hug him but can only reach his waist so to make it less awkward you make it quick. “Night,” you smile and start to go inside.

“Night Y/N....,” he grabs your arm and turns you, he lifts you enough to be face to face with you which honestly made you feel like a child as your feet dangles so high off the ground, “Thanks, I needed this on jean shopping day,” you say sarcastically to play off that it actually hurts because you really like Sam.

“Y/N,” he sits you on the railing and holds your waist so you won’t fall.

“Hmm?” You ask, looking at your thighs, thinking about how they are thick compared to when people complimented your thigh gap and you hated it but had to smile because you couldn’t eat for a year due to being sick but you had to smile and say thankyou, and how now you had improved a lot and it has taken you years to do so but you still weren’t thicc enough to be good enough.

“Look at me,” he lifts your chin and you glance at him, trying to have eye contact but you look so pathetic right now.

“I like being able to pick you up,” he starts and smiles, you start to cut him off and hop down but he grabs your thighs to hold you there and he cuts you short. “I’m not finished.”

That stern voice made the heat pool between your legs, you knew you loved this man.

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I watch you walk away and I stare at your ass every time you bend over or squat for somethin’-” you can’t stop the blush in your ears and your face. “Really?” “yes, and I like being able to pick you up, it’s cute. if you would have hugged me a second ago instead of flinging your arms around me and moving away I would have wrapped my arms around you and taken a second to just enjoy your head against me.....I think you are a beautiful lady, and you are interesting, and intelligent, I can talk to you and I love that. Please, go out with me next week on another date?”

“Another?”

“Yes, I thought this was a date until you got sad....”

“I didn’t know, I thought you just saw me as a friend and wanted to hang out; that’s usually how it goes...”

“Alright, my fault. I should have been more clear,” he puts a hand to his chest, still holding you so you don’t fall. “Please, may I take you out to dinner, next Friday? I’ll pick you up at the same time, it’s a date...please,” he looks up at you as he kisses your knuckles. “You don’t have to beg little old me, I’d love to,” you answer honestly and he kisses the side of your lip almost your cheek. “I’ll get my real kiss next time,” he helps you down and that was how it all started. That is how you became Mrs. Sam Wilson a year later, and now here you were almost three years later lying down and watching him pace back and forth in front of the bed with your new son.

“Sam, I have a idea”

“To get him to sleep?”

You nod and go to your playlist and press play letting the soft shoo doo shooby doo~ shoo doo dooby doo~ In the still of the night~ fill the room.

Sam see’s his eyes drift closed and carefully lays him in his crib and crawls up over you on the bed slowly before swiftly flipping the situation so you’re straddling him. He grips and caresses your thighs and chews on his lip before pulling your neck in for a kiss, “I’ll have a Fuck Me Now please” “Coming right up”

#marvel #sam wilson #sam wilson x reader

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sophieakatz · 5 years ago

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Thursday Thoughts: Writing Advice (Part 1 of 3)

I recently stumbled across this writer ask meme about pieces of writing advice, and I was having so much fun thinking about it that I decided to just respond to them all!

1. Nothing is perfect

This is one of those truths that can be used for good or ill.

It’s easy to see the flaws in your own work, to hold your own writing to a higher standard than literally anyone else would. It’s good to say “nothing is perfect” to assure yourself that your work is good enough.

But if someone has called you out for using racist stereotypes in your writing, and your response is, “Well, nothing is perfect! So leave me alone and don’t tell me to fix it!” That’s bad!

Allow me to misquote the Talmud and tell you to keep two pieces of paper in your pocket, and take each out as you need it. The first says “nothing is perfect.” The second says “I can, and should, always do better.”

2. Don’t use adverbs

Adverbs are tools. Understand their purpose and use them wisely.

To prove my own point, I could not have written that second sentence without an adverb – “wisely.” The purpose of an adverb is to modify a verb or an adjective. It wouldn’t be enough for me to just say, “use them.” How should one use them? Wisely!

The best advice I ever got about adverbs is that they should be used when they are necessary for clarity.

If I write, “Sophie smiled happily,” that is not a necessary adverb. It is already obvious from the fact that I am smiling that I am happy. Using “happily” is redundant and uninteresting.

If I write, “Sophie smiled sadly,” on the other hand – that is necessary. The adverb changes the picture that you make in your head, and the sentence is more interesting as a result.

3. Write what you know

I get why people use this as advice. I’m much more a fan of saying “know what you write.”

Feel free to go beyond your own individual experience when you write – but for god’s sake, do your research. Expand what you know, so that you can write.

4. Avoid repetition

Like adverbs, repetition is a tool. Use it wisely.

What can repetition accomplish?

Emphasis – highlighting something as important.

Memorability – helping the audience remember.

Familiarity – we tend to like and believe what we hear over and over.

Musicians understand this. Listen to the Hadestown soundtrack and keep a tally of how many times Orpheus is referred to as “a poor boy” or Eurydice as “a hungry young girl.” Listen to the Hamilton soundtrack and count how many times Burr opens a song with “How does a –?” Think back on all the times you heard the new hit song of the year and you shrugged it off, but a couple weeks later, after you heard it on every radio station, on everyone’s Spotify playlist, in every YouTube ad – it “grew on you.”

The trick is using repetition just enough that it provides a useful structure, but not so much that it’s noticed to the point of instilling boredom.

5. Write every day

Sure, why not. If you write just ten words every day for a year, you’ll have nearly 4,000 words at the end of it – a short story. If you write a hundred words every day for a year, that’s almost 40,000 words – a decent novella. Writing every day is a good way to end up with something written.

But don’t beat yourself up if you don’t or can’t write every day. Writing takes effort. You have other things to devote energy to – work, school, groceries, cleaning, socializing, confronting your own mortality, finding out how season seven of Clone Wars ends.

I encourage you to notice all the things that you do every day which isn’t officially “writing” but is still a part of being a writer.

Now, this is something I struggle with. I go months without touching my novel, and it’s easy for me to dismiss that time as “not writing.”

But I send emails. And I write essays for school. And I jot down thoughts and dreams in my journal. And I read – you have to read in order to write. And I spend time on my walks and in the shower imagining dialogue and figuring out character paths and themes for my novel, all things that will help me when I do get back to writing it. And I have all the smaller projects I gave myself – this weekly blog post, my weekly poem or quote, my fanfiction.

If you’re a writer, then you’re a writer, whether or not you write every day.

6. Good writers borrow from other writers, great writers steal from them outright

I’m not sure what the distinction is here between “borrowing” and “stealing.”

Stealing is definitely a part of writing, though. I’ve written about this before – check out my old article on stealing bicycles as a writing metaphor.

7. Just write

Oh I am a BIG fan of this one. Even if you don’t know what to write, just write. So many pages of my journal open with the line “I have no idea what to write about.” Eventually, as you ramble, you start writing about what you wished you would be writing about. And then you find yourself actually writing.

8. There’s nothing new under the sun

Sure, but the art is in making something familiar feel new. I wrote about this a couple weeks ago in this Thursday Thoughts.

9. Read

Yes, yes, yes! Read to find out what’s out there. Read to learn the conventions of your genre. Read to ignite your love of the craft. Read to discover your people. Read to add tools to your toolbox (or pieces to your bicycle). Read to find agents and editors and publishing imprints. Read to learn what stories are not being told. Read to be a writer.

10. Don’t think!

Thinking is a tool. Use it wisely.

The best parts of my writing I’ve discovered not while writing, but while thinking about writing.

Just don’t think yourself out of writing altogether.

11. Write what you love

You’ll certainly be happier writing something you love than something you don’t love. You won’t love everything you write, though. It can still be good and valuable even if you don’t love it. But if you love it, or if you can remember why you loved it, you will come back and finish it.

12. Never use a long word where a short one will do

Forget the length of the word. Is it the right word?

To paraphrase Mark Twain and Josh Billings, the difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

If you do find yourself needing to choose between two words with identical definitions, and the only difference between them is their length, then think about the effect of the word on your reader. Read the sentence aloud a few times with either option. Different words have different connotations; they evoke different moods. It may in the end just come down to which word feels right for this moment.

13. Less is more

No, it definitionally is not. See my above thoughts about adverbs, repetition, and long words vs short words.

All words are tools. All words have a purpose. Is it the right word for this moment?

14. Never use the passive when you can use the active voice

Again, active voice and passive voice are tools! They have purposes!

The simplest way to differentiate between the two is that active voice is “the girl threw the ball” and passive voice is “the ball was thrown by the girl.” Both make sense. Both describe the same action. But one places the emphasis on the girl – the subject – while the other places the emphasis on the ball – the object.

Are you trying to create a sense of immediacy, to immerse the reader in the moment? Use active voice. He did this! She did that! Bam! Pow! It’s happening right now, and we know exactly who did it!

Are you trying to create distance between the reader and something in the moment? Use passive voice. He was being followed – by who, we don’t know. Passive voice adds a touch of mystery or disassociation.

15. Show don’t tell

How do you show? How do you tell? There are engaging ways to do both, and boring ways to do both. Do what the moment needs.

In prose, I recommend setting up with showing and then hitting your reader with a tell. Say your protagonist is standing alone in a room. Then, a woman enters. Show the protagonist’s reaction to that woman – their heart pounds, they tear up, they grab a chair for support…

And then, in the narration: “Her mother had been dead for five years, and yet there she stood.” Bam! A well-placed tell which contextualizes the reaction.

Plays and screenplays come down on different sides of the “show vs tell” debate. Film usually does more “showing,” while a stage play usually has more “telling.”

This comes from writers leaning into the limitations of the mediums. The first few lines of any scene in a Shakespeare play lets you know the location and time of day, because they didn’t have the scenic or lighting elements available to show it.

While a film can cut to different places and times quickly and easily, many plays are set in just one or two locations to remove the need for frequent scene changes. A play will capitalize on the characters’ reactions to and conversations about unseen offstage events, while a film will show these offstage events.

These are not hard and fast rules, of course. Plenty of films stay in one location, and plenty of plays jump around from place to place. It’s worth noting that standard formatting for plays and screenplays highlight this typical difference. In a stage play script, the dialogue (what we’re told) is left-aligned while the action (what we’re shown) is indented. In a screenplay, the action is left-aligned and the dialogue is indented.

Neither showing nor telling is superior. They are both tools. Use them wisely.

To be continued...

#writing #advice #writing advice #writblr #writers #writers of tumblr #show don't tell #thursday thoughts #listicles #shakespeare #active voice #passive voice #word choice #just write #write what you know #adverbs #write what you love

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wahoo-stomp · 6 years ago

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I’ve never really been a big listener to One Direction.

Okay. That’s a lie. I literally don’t listen to One Direction. Got nothing against them – just never really had any interest, and my music tastes are…limited. So I was more than a little surprised when my Spotify playlist led to a 1D song in the Year of Our Lord 2019. I know Spotify can sometimes select a song that it thinks you’ll like based on what you listen to – but the artist I’d been listening to wasn’t even in the same genre. So imagine my surprise when I’m greeted with—

You're insecure Don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the door.

Okay first of all, what?

This is roughly when I reached for my phone to change the song, but then my brain did that thing where it went “eh what the heck” and I let it play a little longer. It didn’t take long for me to see that this is one of many songs with a theme of the singer talking to someone and telling them they’re more attractive than they realize. It’s not the most original concept, but there was nothing particularly offensive to me about this iteration of it, so I let the song continue further. I admit I like pop styled tunes, probably because of a whole bunch of stuff a music theorist could better explain than I can, so it was fun to listen to – and then suddenly something jumped out at me.

I hardly believe I’m saying this, but I’m going to recommend listening to the song to see what I’m talking about if you don’t know it, and NO, this isn’t a plug for a defunct boy band.

Okay, you’ve listened to the point where they go “If only you saw what I can see—” you can pause it there.

So far the artists have stuck to what I would call pleasant but superficial comments. Hair flicking is…not really anything that stands out to me, since frankly I care more about eyes and anyways we’re talking from the perspective of a guy who might be asexual and aromantic (can I say that? I’m still trying to figure it out, so I’m not sure I’m right anyway and hopefully I didn’t irk anyone just now). Lighting up the world, yada yada yada. Heard it all before, will hear it again. But then, when the line mentioned above played, my attention was instantly grabbed.

Now before I explain why that is the case, I’m gonna let ya’ll in on a little secret. I’m super, super duper, super duper duper insecure. I know, right? You never would have guessed*. Nah, but all joking aside, one of the things I struggle with most is a feeling of…worth. Now I do have people in my life who tell me they love me – I have friends who (I think) think pretty highly of me, and I have a job and am overall doing okay for a millennial trying to survive as a liberal arts major in this economic nightmare we call “capitalism.” But even all that granted, I struggle everyday with the idea that I’m really worthy of love or interest or anything along that line. This is largely because I am acutely aware of my faults, including the ones I (gasp) try to hide from others. Fact is, I have a scrolling list of ways in which I bungle things, sometimes daily, and it’s not all that easy to see myself as valuable when I have said list.

*You literally guessed after three seconds.

I can hear you saying “no one is perfect, Josh.” Yeah, I know. Heck, the characters in my other blogs are learning that as we speak (even though I think Rocky is pretty darn close). Still doesn’t keep me from berating myself. Sometimes, if we’re totally honest, the internal and external pressures I face are nearly enough to make me give up on myself as a lost cause.

“Okay, um, this is depressing. Does it get better?”

Well, I have one more thing to add. I’m a Christian.

*cue sirens*

Christians are a scary bunch to some folks, and, uh, I don’t always blame them. Some people claiming to represent Jesus suck immensely at it and there is an extensive list of people who do so that I wish I could just tell to shut up. But, with your permission, we’ll skip over the common stereotypes associated with radical Christianity and, for now, summarize my faith perspective as the following statement – I see God as my friend, and I believe the converse is true.

Good. We’ve got that out of the way.

Here’s the problem. If my faith is to be believed, God knows me inside and out – meaning God knows what an idiot I can be. That’s disconcerting. That’s unnerving. That’s freakin’ terrifying – not because I expect God to drop a bolt of lightning on my face (again, not that kind of “Christian”), but for the same reason I don’t tell all of YOU how messy I can be – I don’t want you to hate me or give up on me and decide I’m not worth it.

Okay. That’s a lot of laundry, but I promise I’m getting to a point.

When I say I see God as a friend, I recognize how that might sound. Many faith traditions not only disagree with that statement, but disagree on the nature of God, period. I’m not here to argue with those folks. Disagreement and respect are compatible. If you don’t mind hearing me out, though, perhaps my perspective on God in relation to a 1D song will provide you with either (a) some encouragement or (b) the final confirmation you need that I am in fact a lunatic. We shall see.

If only you saw what I can see You'll understand why I want you so desperately Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know You don't know you're beautiful!

Okay, that rolls off the tongue well. What does it have to do with what I mentioned above? Well, if I may be allowed to withdraw a sample (emphasis on sample, I strongly encourage reading the full context of this thing) from the pre-Christian writings of Scripture, more specifically the book of Psalms, chapter 139, verses 17 and 18:

“How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.”

“Okay, great. Where’s the connection?”

Well, although this particular piece doesn’t mention it, there are a variety of instances in scriptural writ where God’s thoughts towards people, be they individuals or nations, are referenced as positive. (Yes, there are negative examples too, often stated as part of a judgment passage, but I am not skilled in the subject of God’s judgment and will not attempt to go into depth on it right now). The chapter at large acknowledges God’s presence throughout the writers life, even predating birth. For the record, the writer of this particular Psalm, was, uh, messed up. David did some stuff right but whoa nelly he really did some screwball stuff (to put it incredibly lightly) – so we’re not looking at someone who’s perfect when he talks about God’s thoughts.

If we take this piece of writing, therefore, and slightly change the perspective of the speaker…we might end up with a (rather less cliché sounding) 1D song. Now before someone burns me at the proverbial stake, let me clarify what I mean. (NO, I’m not equating holy writ with pop music, promise.)

Let us assume, that these positive examples of God’s thoughts, can be applied to ourselves – or to you and me, to bring it home. If this is the case, when we regard ourselves as unworthy of love, or not valuable, or ugly (a struggle for me personally) or whatever else, is it entirely unreasonable that God’s reaction might be something along the lines of the chorus above?

I think that if we refer back even earlier to that venerable writ in the Torah known as Genesis, we can encounter God’s initial thought on the creation of humankind. Essentially, “It was very good (1:31).”

(For the record, it goes downhill from there as far as the whole “being good” thing goes, but for that moment, at least, God was pretty excited with the state of humankind.)

So let us now take the (limited) textual context and apply it to the, song, taking some creative license (and removing any romantic preconceptions).

Dear one I’d light up the world for nobody else To see a smile on your face makes me smile as well No matter what you may think it’s not hard to tell I still know, oh oh You are just so beautiful If only you saw what I can see You’ll understand why I care for you constantly Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe You don’t know – you are just so beautiful.

Okay, now here’s something I feel obligated to clarify. I’m not a fan of fluffy faith. I’m also not a fan of reducing suffering and emotional struggle to a single sentence. Band-aid solutions and glib encouragement irk me. So I am not pretending for a moment that I know what anyone reading this is going through. Really, I’m just writing something for myself and hoping that something in it provides encouragement for others.

Essentially, I believe God’s perception of our value is not tied to ours, and I’m encouraged by the idea that someone smarter than me knows just what I’m capable of, and loves me despite all my dirty laundry.

That doesn’t mean I recommend using 1D as a source of spiritual encouragement.

I do recommend considering the possibility that your favorite love song or the things that encourage you could very well be used by God to try to communicate God’s thoughts to you. Furthermore, I do recommend acknowledging your value is not caught up in only your perspective, and that there are so many ways in which you are valued…beautiful, that you may not even see.

After all, perfection isn’t attainable – but if you don’t dismiss something because it’s imperfect, why would God?

Everyone else in the room can see it, Maybe it’s time you did too.

#josh's journals #long post #faith?#1d #if that set of tags isn't strange i dunno what is lol #but i've had a week™#and this stuff just...came to me

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bookaddict24-7 · 6 years ago

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MUSIC MONDAYS...Negative review?!

A series where I read a book, review it, and create a short playlist to give a sense of what the book is about.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS BOOK: The mention of Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Self-harm, Eating Disorders.

If you don’t have a strong stomach, read this book with caution.

This review contains spoilers.

SPOILERS AHEAD.

I’m not kidding, spoilers.

(Had to remove the keep reading option because it doesn’t show up on my blog 😤)

Hey, look! It’s me! Writing a review. Wow, miracles, huh?

This is both intimidating and exciting (excuse me while I brush off the cobwebs).

Rin, the protagonist, is a war orphan who’s been promised to a much older man of power in her small village, prompting her to find a way out. Through self-torture and dedication, she achieves one of the highest honours a young student can receive: she is accepted into the best school in the country. But her troubles are only just beginning. While facing wealthy bullies and biases based on where she’s come from, Rin has to work just a bit harder than everyone else to be noticed. When war breaks out, Rin is forced to discover that she isn’t who she thought she was and her quest for power over the enemy might just lead her down roads she never thought were possible.

The Poppy War was, in my opinion, one of the most hyped up books of 2018. I was hearing only good things and every time a booktuber mentioned it, it was with a large dose of compliments. While I did, for the most part, enjoy this book, I don’t think it’s particular worth the amount of hype it received. The problem with hype is that it raises the bar for expectations and I am not a fan of raised expectations.

If I absolutely had to hype up a part of this novel, it would be the first part...and half of Part Two. Rin, while not perfect, was someone who strived for success. She saw a goal and reached for it. Though her methods were highly questionable and problematic (...and seemingly forgotten as the rest of the novel continued after Part Three?), her work ethic was commendable. Though Trigger Warning for eating disorders and self-harm.

Part One was her setting herself goals and crushing them. Part One was exciting and I found myself constantly rooting for her. Part One was a thrill because it had so many aspects of what I love about fantasy novels: excitement, kickass characters proving their enemies wrong, and a growth of character that gave the protagonist a reason for me to root for her.

Then came the second half of Part Two.

Okay, Rin changed. Or, better yet, I became aware of the person Rin was. I feel, even now, like I was catfished by part one. I saw the clues that Rin wasn’t who I thought she was, but I paid no attention. I had painted Rin in one way in my mind so really, it’s my fault.

And here’s the thing: this doesn’t make this a bad book. No, this is a really well-written book with a shit ton of setup for the rest of the series (which I will mention in a few paragraphs). I was just...disappointed that Rin wasn’t who I thought she was. Rin has a lot of growing to do and it wasn’t fair for me to expect her to grow to the point of changing her personality in only the first book. But this Rin I didn’t realize existed has made me question whether I want to read the rest of the series or not.

Anti-heroes exist and when done, they’re fantastic. Not every character is supposed to crap out rainbows. But the issue I had with Rin and the way Kuang presented her, which is the major reason why this book doesn’t get a higher star rating from me, is that she just becomes this awful person with such little prodding.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT, MY FRIENDS:

There is physical abuse in here and it is basically shrugged off by Rin. Shrugged off. Sure, she says F*ck You, but all is forgotten by the next couple of chapters.

The mention of periods is awesome but Rin makes a choice so quickly that it made me question who this character really was. Everyone has a right to their body, but to make such an incredible choice with barely a thought feels like it’s also an attack on those other female characters who chose not to do the same thing?

The decisions made by Rin have little to no thought behind them and contradict everything that the author had written and introduced beforehand--as if the prior two to three hundred pages of relationship growth meant nothing.

Also, friends who died are hardly mourned or mentioned after the fact. It’s just so heartless to see her be like this towards people we grew attached to (and who we assume she’s grown attached to as well)

Okay, I’m probably going too deep with this right now.

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT ENDS, FRIENDS.

One other negative thing I want to discuss is Part Three. To be honest, from the very beginning, The Poppy War was clearly a Fantasy novel with violence and abuse. I didn’t have a problem with that because in Rin’s world, that was just the way of life. But then Part Three happened.

Part Three.

There was gratuitous violence, abuse, and it just read like a completely different book. Look, I’m cool with books that have that sort of thing because war is disgusting and breeds monsters, but when a book suddenly mentions the killing of babies and how they were killed, or the overly descriptive way that women are abused, my stomach is officially done. I will forever refer to Part Three in capital letters when referring to this book. It was disgusting, a poor way of going about the cruelty portrayed in that situation, and honestly, it’s a missed opportunity to show us rather than telling us what the characters saw in such a detailed and detached manner.

To a certain degree, it almost felt like the author was going down a list of the awfully creative ways she could kill off people.

That whole Part made my interest in this book plummet. Not only did Rin become intolerable in this Part of the novel, but it felt like the writing style completely changed. In an attempt to be different, this book basically burned the connection I had previously formed with the story.

Okay, that massive topic of Rin put aside and the horribleness of Part Three behind me, there were things I quite enjoyed about The Poppy War. The plot is actually pretty interesting and well done. The ruling system, though at times confusing, is complex enough to create intrigue. Which leader is against which leader? Who’s kid is that? Which house does what?

The Gods and what they offer is another cool part of this story. I loved reading the mythology and seeing how Kuang drew from Asian history and culture to give her story more life.

Despite Rin and Part Three, the writing is masterful and I can see why there’s so much positive buzz over this book. The world and story is written in such a way that you know the small details in book one will affect the rest of the series. There were a few moments where I geeked out to my friends (who were doing a book club read with me) with my theories and what every little hint meant for Rin’s story.

You might be asking yourself, why did she not rate it lower? You might not be asking yourself that, but I want to explain anyway:

The first two and a half parts of the novel. Also, the foreshadowing was really well done...even if it didn’t really lead anywhere in this book, I have a feeling these hints will pop up in the future.

If the book had ended before Part Three, this would have been a 4-star read, easily. But my disappointment in where the story went just completely shattered this for me. It makes me sad that I can’t dance in the happiness that other readers seem to share for this book. I wish I could just enjoy Rin for who she is and not have formed some warped idea of who I thought she was so early on.

I wish I wasn’t in the unpopular opinions club of thinking this book was just okay, bordering on disturbing near the end.

To be honest, when I sat down to write this review, I didn’t expect to have so many negative things to say. I thought, maybe I’ll say a couple of negative things and continue to the playlist. But wow, no. I apparently had a lot on my mind.

The Poppy War isn’t an awful book. There are good reasons for why people love it. It just wasn’t a book for me and I’m okay with that.

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️.5/5

Age Recommendation: 17+

Genres: Fantasy, Historical Fiction

Add it to your Goodreads here.

See the playlist on Spotify here.

The Playlist:

Though I wasn’t a fan of the book, I still created a book playlist because I was initially going to write a more positive review. BUT it’s also fun to create playlists for books, whether I enjoyed the book or not.

A Lannister Always Pays His Debts by Ramin Djawadi

Heart of Courage by Thomas Bergersen

Immigration Song by Led Zeppelin

Light of the Seven by Ramin Djawadi

Requiem Mass in D Minor by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

I Give You Power--Instrumental by Arcade Fire

Omens in the Clouds by Brad Derrick

Have you read this book yet? Would you recommend it?

Happy reading!

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fmdjulien · 6 years ago

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update? update.

AYY. i’ve actually been following through on what i said i was going to do on my last post. i updated julien’s bio and made slight tweaks here and there (they’re completely minor and still doesn’t change his character or backstory much), and i’ve also cleaned up his plots page to remove inactive muses, rework some plots, and even add new plots.

next thing on the list is to clean up my drafts, which consists of a mix of replies (lengths ranging from ~200 to ~3,000+ word ones that are still incomplete), a couple headcanons / development paras i never got to finish (e.g. julien’s manager sehee, an idolized interview that i might just post for the heck of it, and an inbox meme reply or two), and even a playlist. i will try to get the shorter replies out this week, and will work on tackling the longer ones. i also had a list of open starter topics in my drafts, so i may write one or two of them up and post them.

anyway, for now, if you’d like to plot, i have my plots page up but have also pasted the open plots and thread ideas below. see under the cut for the plots!

nerds of a feather flock together. - open

even though julien is not in school at the moment, he still enjoys reading and can often be found with his nose buried in a book while waiting for his next schedule to occur. it’s because of his love for reading that he met his fellow bookworm, another person who enjoyed haruki murakami as much as he did and the first person to point it out to him. freshly debuted, julien had met them and they instantly hit it off, often speaking about books they’ve enjoyed and books they’ve yet to read. they’ve even gone so far to establish an unofficial idol bookclub. and when they need someone most, both of them can count on the other to be there for support, whether it be an ear to listen or a place to run off to. a fellow nerd, one who loves books just as much as julien does.

predebut posse. - open

birds of a feather tend to flock together, and the foreign trainees at gold star media were no different. for julien, having them around as fellow trainees and friends helped, as neither of them were even from korea and simply shared a dream of being a star. they had prayed and hoped that they could debut together, but the stars weren’t aligned in the way they wanted. after each debut that came out of gold star media, julien got more and more worried about them, but was confident they’d debut in time. despite being their senior in terms of debut, julien looks to them equals and close friends. the predebut posse, who all happen to be foreigners.

it should have been me. - open

julien was the first male act to debut under gold star media, and a soloist at that. your muse and julien had been trainees together at gold star media together, and your muse were vying to be the first act. both worked hard and aimed to please, but julien was ultimately chosen over your muse. five years later, and your muse is still just a bit bitter about it. it doesn’t help that julien is the golden boy and is in a favorable light with everyone. deep down, your muse feels that it should have been them in that position, but they still walk around with a smile on their face, even if it looks a little strained. male idol, must have been a trainee at gold star media prior to 2012.

i’m your number one jewel. - open

julien’s fans come from all walks of life, and some of his fans are actual idols in the industry. your muse, believe it or not, is a huge fan of julien’s and has been since he debuted. your muse owns every album and has every song saved on their spotify playlist and openly admires him, even going so far to gush about julien and his music during an interview or at a show. when julien hears about your muse’s adoration and approaches them to start a conversation, your muse nearly has a heart attack. julien tries to calm your muse down, and hilarity ensues.no requirements. let’s just have fun with it!

do it for the (pizza)gram. - open

a well-known secret about julien is that he runs an instagram account dedicated to pizza (@lepizzaprince) and complete with photos, reviews, and ratings. it’s one of those things that people assume is him but it hasn’t been confirmed or denied. your muse loves pizza almost as much as julien does and is an avid follower of the pizzagram but does not know he’s the person behind it. your muse follows and messages the pizzagram from their private account for recommendations and even just to talk. but imagine what happens when both realize who the other person behind the accounts? no requirements, just a muse who loves pizza.

classmates and classy mates. - open

after a seven year hiatus from his schooling, julien finally decided it was time to pick up where he left off and continue attending university. he’s recently been admitted to school at konkuk and intends to start in the fall term. your muse is either going to be attending the same time as julien or is already a current student at the university. cue the borrowing of notes when promotions are happening, study dates backstage during music bank, and bonding over the academic struggle. no requirements, just must be an idol attending school on the side.

the next door neighbor(s). - open

to anyone that has access to television or goes outside, your muse is seen as an idol with; for julien, they're simply the person he calls his neighbor. and despite the way the public is enamored with their on-stage personas, who they are off-stage is what julien sees more than anything. frankly, it’s because of them that there’s never a dull moment for him at home. whether it’s them losing julien’s pet cat while he’s in the studio, or even julien simply going over to her apartment for movie night, there’s always something going on at home that keeps things from getting too boring. neighbors, friends, people who stress him out but he adores to pieces. this can be open to more than one person in case two muses are roommates.

other various thread ideas.

+ that one time julien got super drunk and rented out a room at a noraebang for five hours to sing about his anguish and your muse was called to pick him up and take him home because he fell asleep and it’s closing time + that one time fans overanalyzed a moment between your muse and julien’s, looking into it a bit too hard and now there are fics between the pair and a small yet dedicated fanbase to the ship + your muse is trying to learn english and julien is more than happy to help your muse practice by having conversations in english + your muse starred in one of julien’s music videos and the pair didn’t vibe at all, and while things looked fine and dandy in the mv things look a bit odd when both are at an event.

#&&. typist;#( in other news jinyoung has gifted us with both littor and grazia photoshoots this summer )#( pepinators hearts and stomachs are full right now )#( also julien's theme reminds me of a creamsicle merp )

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alltheworldsrpg-blog · 7 years ago

Photo

WELCOME TO ROSWELL, KALAIS VITERI!!

ADMIN CAMERON: I’m always here for space hipsters, especially when they take the form of Kalais. They’ve got this perfect ‘hidden in plain sight’ sense about them, this watching sort of personality. Best be adding some cacti to their collection of plants.

You’ve been accepted as THE HEXADECIMAL with the faceclaim of STELLA MAEVE. Please follow all rules and regulations as laid out by the Roswell Town Council, especially concerning any non pre-approved biologic. All UFO’s outside of city limits must be stickered or will be towed. Enjoy your stay in the first city of extraterrestrials.

NAME/ALIAS + PRONOUNS:

Krys! + She/Her

AGE:

Twenty Eight

TIMEZONE + ACTIVITY:

CST , 8/10 - I work about 40 hours a week but I am at a computer all day so answers are still possible :3

TRIGGERS

Removed for privacy

ANYTHING ELSE?:

Hey I think we have met before! Okay no we totally have but I mean we all know there will be a lot of playlists and aesthetics coming from me so there is that. Also I freakin dig this rp. The colors are glorious and I have been stalking it for awhile so I am ready!!

IN CHARACTER.

SKELETON TITLE:

The Hexadecimal

FULL NAME:

Kalais [k AE - l ai ] Viteri [Viteri Kalais if they were back home]

Means ‘Changing Colors’’

GENDER + PRONOUNS:

Genderfluid + they/them/she/her [since arriving on earth they have gotten used to the different pronouns. in their own mind they tend to stay very neutral but don’t mind having others refer to them as she/her]

SEXUAL + ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:

Pansexual + Panromantic

DATE OF BIRTH + AGE:

Earth month: January 26th, 2030 + 30

OCCUPATION:

The Garden center of the Roswell Home Depot: It really is a basic job for them. Something easy that reminds them of their parents. Not to mention it makes it incredibly easy to get a hold of plants on sale. With the discount they can keep their walls stocked to the brim at their home. It also just lets them be in the daily hum of people. Allows them a semi familiar space to listen to the things going around them. A person would be surprised the sort of things a customer would tell the one helping them. Small family details to insane secrets they don’t tell their families. Apparently their quiet nature allows the customers to feel even more comfortable around them.

DIY blogger + Instagram influencer [or future equivalent]: This one was a bit of a surprise. It isn’t like they have the outward personality to get the interest of the world but apparently their ability to put things together and take a picture at the perfect angle was enough. Endorsements and shout outs were easy when all they had to do was make it happen in the private of their own space. Public appearances don’t happen but their presence on the internet can’t be denied. It took a little time to build their own site, save up for a decent camera and set everything up so anything too personal was kept out of view. Apparently earth people went wild for well kept plants and scenic views. The neon hue from the wall of signs in the little kitchen offered the perfect “aesthetic” to it all. Look, they don’t pretend to understand how it happened right away but they certainly know how to make it work.

In many ways being connected to the world that encompasses the online community has kept them aware of things that are going on. From the council forming to what life was like before ‘aliens’ came down. Just another way they can keep their ear to the ground so to speak.

FACECLAIM:

Stella Maeve

BIOGRAPHY:

It starts at the earliest memory. The soft song sung by their mother. So gentle in nature that it soothes the little one quickly. A scent coming through a window. A flower in bloom that would forever be associated with the one that held them. Over all of the years, they would look to their first memory burned into their mind with a gentle smile. A muted moment that would always find space in them. It set the tone for the early years of their life. Parents with soft words and encouraging smiles that said more than anything voices could. In the chaos the world became around them it would be a center to focus on.

In the year 2030 Viteri Kalais was born. A small little thing that came into the world. So silent it left their parents quaking that perhaps they wouldn’t get to keep the little one. There was nothing to fear. Their cries were muted when they finally opened their lips. Soft little things that were more like a mew than a scream. That would be their way. Soft sounds with a near purr like quality when it came to happiness. Never boisterous or loud. An easy little thing but it was their wide eyes watching that they noticed most. Dark eyes that seemed to take every tiny detail in. Of course it was the nature of their people to pay attention to things around them but Kalais’ hushed nature seemed to add to that fact. A little one made of details.

As they aged, Kalais stayed quiet. Whenever they did speak they tended to be low soft tones. More often than not an observation that could be nearly cruel in its honesty. Their parents found it refreshing. Someone that wasn’t afraid to speak their mind but in the world they lived in it was dangerous. Their family standing wasn’t the highest. Neither from a class of true note. The dirt under their nails spoke volumes. But it seemed they need not worry for their little one. Kalais wouldn’t speak to those their age and if they did there were little words and more facial movement. There was obvious dirt under their nails too. Still, in the quiet of the Viteri home, they fostered that nature. Parental words softening to suit their little one’s nature. It had taken years to have a child and they cherished every little quirk.

The quiet home was a sanctuary for the things happening around them. The people were changing. The way their world worked was changing and in their opinion it was none for the better. Maybe it was Kalais that helped them see it. Their low tones of how it was changing the other little ones around them. Maybe it was the things they saw happening to people they knew. It was no longer the world they had grew up in when they were young. Instead the government began to lead with an iron fist. The sort of fist the strangled people like them. Hand so tight around the lower stations throats they could barely breathe. Perhaps it was that that got them interested in politics.

Kalais noticed the change. They watched while their parents got involved in silent movements. A little over twelve, they saw them move about in the quiet nights. Whispered words of wanting a better future. Wanting to make the world safe again. Safe for them. In the moment, the memory would slip away in the night. Waking them to a world where their parents looked at them like they were the shimmering stars that hung around their planet. It would take weeks for the memory to settle, for it to explain certain behaviors they had noted since the change. Somewhere in Kalais’ mind they agreed with the change. The government above them, people around them, they were all dangerous in more ways than one. Maybe change was good. Maybe their parents were right.

Movements are only natural when things around people change for the worst. A part of them understood that but it would take days for their mind to add that there are consequences to those movements. People don’t always come back from their night time jaunts. They don’t always make it home for breakfast or to kiss someone on the forehead when they wake. There isn’t a soul to ease a phantom ache when the person can’t remember for a split second that the people they are waiting for will never be home again. Kalais was fifteen when there was that hole in their chest. Something like jagged edges gaping in such a way they can’t fix it. Another memory that would stick forever in their mind. The morning they would wake expecting to see them but seeing no one but themselves in a small home that wasn’t home. It was surprising what happened to someone that was connected to political activists.

When Kalais was twenty and looked back on it, they realized they were lucky. Death could have been the answer. Instead they continued to live their quiet life. Difference was that no one was there to listen to soft words when they were finally spoken after days. No, Kalais walked among people they knew more about than they perhaps knew about themselves. The little ways they moved to protect their belongings. Silent shifts in body language others of their kind would notice but were so caught up in their own thoughts at times they didn’t pay attention to. So, they made themselves small. It had become the normal for them. The first few years without their parents had been difficult. There had been others that disappeared and it seemed like the whole planet knew. Kalais hated whispered stares. They loathed silent curiosity. Kalais hated how they saw them. Which of course meant they would rather not be seen.

Kalais’ quiet nature made it easy to move into the background of all things. Slowly people forget one or two details about them. They would never forget that people never made it home to their families but when they forgot their face, it made them breathe a little easier. It made their silence more natural rather than forced. The things they saw. The things they knew were always on the tip of their tongue but there was danger in truth. There was pain in truth. Kalais knew that pain. They never wanted more memories of it lingering in their mind for when they got older. For years it was the same but the whispers of change where among them once more, but different. Technology of change. Change that offered opportunities. New planets to find that weren’t right next door. More options. More resources. There were a million reasons their government was interested but there was only one reason for them.

Home.

The world they lived in was no longer that. Just echoes of what they wanted splatter with the paint of lies Kalais had to hear. It was the sort of change they could get behind. A sort of change that wouldn’t mean they wouldn’t make it home one night. There was no one to go home to but it never changed the ringing silence in their ears. It was the one time in their life when they made sure to be in the right places at the right time. They weren’t of the higher houses or names. Kalais had to be tricky with how they got to the new world that was being offered. Time was all they needed. They didn’t have to be to persuasive or underhanded. Their worth was easy to gauge, their skills at blending in were natural. So natural even their own people let them through without so much as a second glance.

Maybe they should have been worried about how easy it had been. There was a part of them that wondered what it was like to be seen. Still they soothed their murmured worries and found a new planet. The arid wind of Roswell left their skin feeling warm and their eyes wide. Kalais could taste their new type of freedom on their tongue. Taking the family name and shoving it behind their given name was a breath of fresh air. Their people weren’t the first extraterrestrials to land on Earth and maybe they wouldn’t be the last. It took some time for their mind to acclimate to the change but once they did they knew there was a chance to finally have a home of their own once again.

Of course Kalais should have known problems didn’t go away with a change of scenery. Those issues came with people. People from various planets with various motives were wild and free among the ones of earth. They should have seen it coming. The whispers among people like them and those native to the planet. Still they listened. They watched. They noticed every little detail but if there was one thing they remembered, that vivid component etched in their mind, was how people wouldn’t come home the moment they got involved in such things as the change a government can bring. Kalais had finally found a home again. They didn’t want to lose it just as quickly.

MUSING + HEAD-CANONS.

HEAD-CANONS:

Losing Days || There are days between shifts when they had found themselves staring at the walls. The jarring colors would be a shock to most people but to them they are almost like background noise. A patch of sparkling leopard print in the bottom corner of the apartment is usually the thing that wakes them from their own mental dreams. Heat coming in from the windows they keep open nearly all year round simply washes them with warmth, but it is the twinkle of passing lights catching the plethora of items that made up the glimmering print. Kalais would see that food had been eaten, they took care of their needs in the daze that was the last few days but that never made the strange feeling welling in them any easier. No one looked for them. No one questioned their disappearance. They couldn’t tell if it was just short term memory loss or if there was something more. There are times when it scares them, how easy it is to disappear. Sure, that is their talent but there was something in being seen.

They have names || Okay, they own a few plants. By a few, the inside of their house has a string of them on various shelves. A little water delivery system, they took the time to put together. Some native to the area around them but many took a tender hand. It didn’t matter where they were from, each of them had a name. A baby book of names with a binding cracked and broken spoke volumes for how often they used it. The shelves would travel from the main room, into the hallway and further into Kalais’ bedroom. Colorful orchids resided there. Hibiscus with large blooming flowers. Earth plants had been different but over the last five years they had gotten very good at coaxing them into what they wanted. No, they weren’t a ‘plant whisperer’ like so many people said but they were similar to people in a way. Watching for the signs was just a second instinct.

You learn it young || Their knack for watching came when they were young. They were quiet. Just a natural thing for Kalais. They barely cried as a little one. Instead they just watched. It seemed only natural to keep the habit up the older they got. It became something that worked better for them than anything else. A sort of survival thing . It wasn’t like the world was the kindest the older they became. Not to mention, when they did open their mouth their words weren’t always the kindest and tended to have a little bit of a bite. When they came to earth, that didn’t change it, may have actually made it easier. The people there hadn’t seen what their home world had become, what the people had become. They saw. They saw it all. If there was one thing they were good at it was watching. A new planet wasn’t going to change that.

It’s only natural || Distrust runs deep in this one. Even making a few acquaintances on the new planet they had begun to call home, it is still a spark that guides them. Sometimes Kalais wonders if it is something so deep in their memory that they can’t shake. The new air of politics around them has done nothing to soothe that jagged tear in their soul. If anything it makes it easier to pull away. Lately they have to admit that things have been sticking with them. Not just all of the things they’ve heard before. New words that filter in and out of their mind like a record on repeat. Change was just as natural as not trusting anyone wasn’t it?

To barely like anyone || Their silence isn’t the most unnerving to the people she was raised with. No, it is the lack of facial movement. In order to have a true silence, a true hidden thought one would also have to keep their expressions to a minimum. If it is something they really need to keep to themselves, minimum turns into an absolute blank. Most wouldn’t pick up on it simply because they couldn’t see a reaction anyway. Among humans they can get away with a complete blankness. As they grew older they learned that a few movements, mostly in their eyebrows seemed to ease the people that would look for those things. Even the smallest thing like a head tilt put them at ease.

Something don’t feel right || Intimacy is something that is foreign to them. It isn’t that they haven’t tried. Matter of fact they have when they were a little younger. When the slight bit of loneliness tugged at them and just once they wanted to feel someone against them. It was strange, awkward and nothing that they wanted to do again. So of course tried tried another time. From awkward to needy. There was something about being close to another living being that made it seem like they had to open up. That they had to tell them things they wanted to hear and speak of all of the future they could have. There weren’t fucking there for that and got out of dodge real quick. Unfortunately their mind decided to burn the memory real deep. The feel of hands on theirs. Or the smell of someone else to wake up next to.

Angels of the Sea || Pets fascinate them to an extent. But it isn’t the furry variety that caught their attention. Instead it was the sort that could be put into tanks. More specifically they visited a pet store and saw fish. The fish themselves weren’t very interesting but it got them curious. What sort of sea pets could a person have. Of course the internet was helpful and quickly they found out about Moon Jellyfish. Before anyone could blink there was a tank and a whole set up with various appropriate lights for the tank. The Jellies are something they can lose themselves watching. Gently gliding through the water as if they have hidden wings. A reminder on their phone to feed them twice a day.

In Neon Hues || Like their collection of alien fashion items, they enjoy collecting neon signs. Some small, some large but they all go in the same place. A wall of their ‘efficient’ apartment, in the kitchen is covered in the things. More often than not they are kept turned off simply because of the power bill but still their fluorescents hum when they are lit. Barely any other lights in the home but an extra ones in the bathroom [outdoor rope light re purposed] and bedroom [a string of Christmas tree lights] respectively.

Do they call it kitschy || Ever since they landed on the planet, there has been a certain few collectible they enjoy going for. The old Roswell stuff. You know the ones. The stuff that has little aliens on it. The ‘believer’ shit. That is the stuff that they love. Sweaters, shorts, skirts, tank tops, hats, any and all things with that look they totally enjoy. Maybe it’s because there is a certain humor in the ‘believed 'about wearing the merch that they find silently funny but honestly, they can’t put their finger on it. They just like it.

Taste the rainbow || Like all the others from their planet or the sister planets they are naturally attracted to very bright, almost neon colors. Difference being that they tend to not wear clothing that matches that love or want. Instead just a choice or two that screams vibrancy but in their own home - it looks like the trix rabbit threw up all over the damn place. A wall of neon signs in the kitchen. A wall collage of magazine tear outs in the living room. Holographic type flooring to cover up the previous tile that had been there. Glitter leopard print in a few corners to catch the light of the moving cars.

They aren’t cartoons || there isn’t a tv in their apartment. The only thing they own that they get their entertainment from is the internet. That being said, some of Kalais’ favorite stuff to watch is old anime. There is just something about the outlandish style and garish colors that always seem fascinating to them. Some of their favorites include, Sailor Moon [Crystal], Tokyo Ghoul, No game No life. It isn’t always the stories that get them [especially for no game. The plot is atrocious]. Sometimes it is just the drawings and the color.

Not a bang but a fizzle || Their voice has never raised as loud as the music they listen to. They read something in a Magazine once that they proceeded to rip out and stick to the wall. ‘Music says the things a person can’t say out loud.’ With their more than quiet nature Kalais fills the silence in their personal space with various music they can find. Random music from earth and everywhere else. It helps that they enjoy collecting older earth items - records and record player included.

Maybe if I write it down || The forgetful nature of their people has never been their favorite. But over time they have learned how to adapt. The little pieces of technology they can get a whole of to either discreetly record conversations are easy enough. Their personal favorite is simply to use a mobile phone to jot down things. Of course it gets tricky in certain situations. That’s where turning them into a little bit of a sing song works really well. From Kalais’ understanding that is how many earth people teach their children the things they learn and it is something they have found to work.

Tins of all kinds || Stepping on Earth was an entirely new experience. Everything was something new and there was a bit of a learning curve to it. Really, it was learning what to do and what not to do. What to try and what not. All the little details that made earth life, well, just that. It became apparent rather quickly that Kalais enjoyed tea. The sort of tea they brewed themselves. Loose life and fragrant. The kind that they could dedicate a wall to in their little apartment. Over five years each tea they tried got a certain colored tin with how it made them feel. They weren’t the same in shape or size but the color mattered. The internet has told them that it is part of their ‘aesthetic’ but really that word is tossed at them so often if they didn’t have the dictionary definition they would be worried.

Quick HCs:

Has stuck with the pescatarian diet but after owning the Moon Jellies, feels a little bad for eating the fish from the area.

They like to get their nails done. Nothing too crazy long but cute little designs are fun.

Colored lip glosses are the bee’s knees. If they have a flavor, even better!

Mentally Kalais will refer to their self as a Space Bird. Sort of their own play on words for Snow bird.. You know the people that go south for the winter except they came from space… LOOK they thought it was pretty brilliant!

PLOTS + CONNECTIONS:

I’d love to see Kalais begin to enjoy the company of people. Like really enjoy it. All of their life they have kept to themselves. The sort of way that worked well for their quiet nature but that doesn’t meant they couldn’t begin to like to live among people instead of just living around them. The memories they hold to from the time with their parents could certainly help deepen a yearning for it. Like minded people are hard to come by and it could be nice. The Pulsar could be the catalyst to start them getting a taste of a different sort of life. Even the Quark could be as well.

I think another really cool thing to dig into would be them getting involved with an extraterrestrial resistance. Now, obvies the plot of the rp will move in shift but like that could be cool especially if they feel like they’re seeing moves like their old government in the details, i think for once they would be tempted to actually do something about it. While they are steadfast in not wanting to be one of the people that could just be gone with no one to look for them, they also wouldn’t want to see the new world, their new home turn into something that even resembles what their old one became. There is a bit of the tug from the Quark that could potentially get them thinking this way but it wouldn’t be an overnight process.

Okay let us talk about intimacy for a second. This quiet soul has delved into that world but came back with shaky memories and a weird taste in their mouth. I want to find something that pokes at those feelings. With them making friends at an incredible slow rate there is a chance that they could develop feelings for someone. I think it would be a little more than fun to explore the mental conflict they would have within themselves as they grappled with enjoying someone in that way. Wanting to let them into their world. Finally having someone see them in a manner that is different from how they normally want people to see them… as in not at all

One of smaller things I would like to start to see change for Kalais would be that they don’t express themselves to their full extent. More often than not even their facial features stay just as silent as they are. I think it would be good to see them get more comfortable with smaller smiles, the little things really.

Look to simplify the blabber, I want them to get friends, I want them to open up just a little bit, I want them to feel like they have a purpose other than to just listen. There is a reason they have so many details and take the time to remember them. I want them to find meaning. Because they deserve meaning when all they have done was made sure they didn’t make a blip in the worlds they have lived.

Really I will probably think of a million more the more I write Kalais but here is what I have for now.

WRITING SAMPLE:

Removed for privacy

ETC:

https://kalaismock.tumblr.com/ [here there be drabbles, playlists, inspo, answered memes, & aesthetics. also showcases the potential faces]

& lets be honest here —- Kalais is a freaking space hipster okay?

#accepted.#the hexadecimal.

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salamoonder · 6 years ago

Text

Dark Side | [ch. 10]

Virgil, Logan, Roman, and Patton are finally together. Things can only get better from here, right? Riiiiight?

Wordcount: 3.7k

Warnings: Eating disorder, brief mention of self harm

A/N: The gang's all here!! Which means the story can REALLY start. You guys may have noticed that I've started updating more, and that's because I originally intended to release chapters so that the fictional timeline actually lines up with real time...which means I should've had my Christmas chapter up by now, oops. Unfortunately I've had a whole lot of irl shit happen and for various reasons I've been unable, unwilling, or just plain unmotivated to keep updating. It's been a rough semester. A rough year, honestly. But I've discovered that working on this--revising it, adding more to it, working on the playlist--really helps me. So I'm trying to catch up, and I promise I'll do my best not to fall behind again. Every comment, every kudos, every hit...those give me life and I love and appreciate you guys so much. Thank you. Here's the link to the playlist. If anyone wants to know which song is for which character/relationship, I'm putting that on my youtube sideblog ( @octoberdear ).

|| Read it on AO3 ||

They end up going to one of the actual restaurants on campus instead of the dining hall, a sushi place across the river. Virgil is deeply uncomfortable. He’d much rather be having a quiet evening out with Patton; this is the first time in a while that Remy’s gone out with friends instead of sticking with them. And while Virgil can definitely say he’s gotten used to her, maybe even likes having her around, he had been very ready for some alone time with Patton. Socializing is exhausting.

The walk over in and of itself is super awkward. Patton is excitable and friendly, as always, and seems delighted that Virgil has made a “new friend” when he finds out that Logan is Virgil’s lab partner, and doubly delighted when he finds out that this new friend is Virgil’s roommate’s cousin.

“We’re not friends,” Virgil keeps saying. “We’re...acquaintances. And lab partners,” he adds, in case Logan is offended. But Logan doesn’t seem to be easily offended by anything, and Patton is circling around and through the three other boys and striking up conversations at random, prodding the others to join in, and so Virgil just draws his hood over his head and sinks back into it.

“This is so cool! Such a cool coincidence!” Patton squeals. “I feel like we were pulled together by fate. Do you guys feel that way? Ohh, do you think we’re going to be best friends?”

Virgil cringes further into his hoodie.

“I...can’t say I believe in the concept of fate,” says Logan. “And ironically Virgil and I seem to have bonded over the fact that we are both fairly bad at making friends. But,” he says, appearing to have reflected further, “I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea. As long as no one forces me to be friends with Roman.”

“Ditto,” Roman agrees grumpily. Determined as he is to remove himself from the situation, Virgil can’t help but be a bit curious, and a little amused, at how badly Roman and Logan seem to get along, seeing as they are indeed cousins.

Virgil doesn’t have cousins, but he’s met some of Patton’s and they all seem to be very close.

“What do you think, Virge?” Patton asks, breaking Virgil out of his reverie.

“I..think I’m getting pretty hungry,” says Virgil evasively, and Patton spends the rest of the walk pestering Roman and Logan.

Surprisingly Roman seems to somewhat take to Patton. Well, Virgil supposes it isn’t all surprising, but he’s used to Roman being stuck up and surly with him. He knows about the existence of Roman’s myriad of friends, but he’s never really seen him interact with a person positively for more than a couple minutes.

He hasn’t really seen him much at all, to be quite honest. He’d doubled his efforts to stay away from the room while Roman was around after the crying incident, and he’d almost stopped speaking to him altogether, afraid that he’d say the wrong thing but not willing to say the right thing, either.

Truth be told it was exhausting, and Virgil was still running up to housing to ask them if they could change his room to Patton’s whenever he had a chance. He was sure the staff was sick of him by now, but he didn’t care if it meant getting a room with Patton.

Finding the time to cut is exhausting as well. Virgil supposes that’s a good thing, but he can feel himself starting to unravel, to slowly come apart at the seams every time he goes too long without hurting himself. He needs it. Patton hasn’t noticed yet, he’s pretty sure, otherwise he would never leave him alone.

They finally arrive at the restaurant, and Patton picks a little corner booth near a window. Even from here they can see the river; sometimes Virgil feels that it’s omnipresent. Much to his chagrin, Roman slides in after him, and then Patton and Logan take the other side, in that order.

He spends ages deliberating over the menu. Virgil hates places with lots of items. He can never decide what he wants and he usually ends up asking Patton to order for him, which he always feels slightly ridiculous about. He can’t imagine doing that now, though, with Logan and Roman here. He’d probably look a lot more than slightly ridiculous.

By the time the waiter comes around he’s panicking slightly, but Patton leans across the booth and murmurs softly, “the yellow tuna sashimi looks pretty good, you might like that.”

Virgil nods, relieved, and orders that as the waitress gets around to him. Much to his surprise conversation picks up again almost immediately, mostly facilitated by Patton. He notices that Logan and Roman are mostly avoiding looking each other, but they’re still asking each other questions. Out of some feeling of obligation, he’s sure.

“Are you still going out with that girl?” Logan asks. “What was her name- uh- Isabella?”

“Ah. No,” says Roman, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Izzy and I...broke up.”

“Oh,” says Logan, looking surprised. “I’m. Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright,” says Roman, laughing so hollowly that Virgil’s sure not even Logan will buy it. Virgil stares at his napkin very hard, wondering if he can set it on fire with his eyes. That would at least be distracting enough to get the others to stop talking. He just wants peace, and quiet, and maybe some sushi, and then to go to bed.

Instead he suffers through several more minutes of awkward conversation before their food arrives. Fortunately, most of them know better than to talk with their mouths open.

Unfortunately, Roman is not one of those people.

“It just- it just wasn’t working,” he says across the table to Patton, a bit of avocado smeared on his lip. God, thinks Virgil, is he still talking about that girl?

Patton nods at him and makes sort of an encouraging gesture.

“I mean,” Roman continues, “we weren’t going to the same schools, we just...you know...we just kind of ended up together because we were each other’s opposites. I mean. We were acting opposite each other. That could happen to anyone, right? You just kind of go together because society-” he waves a chopstick dramatically- “has fooled you into thinking that you must be in a relationship to be happy, that naturally any reasonably attractive (or extremely attractive) guy and girl will end up together, it-” he pauses, and then suddenly stuffs a California roll in his mouth, swallowing hard.

Logan is nodding at him now too, seemingly oblivious to the somewhat emotional cutoff. “Compulsive heteronormativity is an extremely prevalent part of today’s culture, especially in high school.”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone you like even more,” says Patton earnestly, swirling his sushi in a pool of soy sauce. He then shoots a meaningful glance at Virgil, who sinks backward into his seat and slumps downward. No way is he going to say something encouraging and cheesy to his dumb roommate about his dumb ex girlfriend.

“Who says I ever even liked her?” says Roman with bravado, then seems to want to backpedal. “I mean, of course I liked her. But. Perhaps I didn’t like her as much as I thought I did.”

He shoves another California roll in his mouth, and Virgil is left feeling distinctly uncomfortable. For the first time since the subject’s come up, it’s occurred to him that maybe that day he walked in on Roman crying, it wasn’t actually his fault.

Maybe he was just wallowing in the misery of a breakup.

Maybe that’s why he’s so insufferable.

Virgil pushes the thought away: his hurt feelings really want to reject the idea of giving Roman a second chance. Plus, if Roman was crying over his girlfriend, then it means that Virgil wasn’t really at fault after all, and he can continue to be his usual miserable self.

Oddly, the thought doesn’t make him as happy as it normally would.

“You’ve been very quiet, Virgil,” says Logan curiously. Virgil starts guiltily and picks up his chopsticks and begins poking his tuna with them.

“Something on your mind?” Logan continues.

“Um...not really,” says Virgil, trying to make his voice go as quiet as possible without it being a whisper. He’s forgotten that Logan’s not used to seeing him how he usually is: quiet and surly. He’ll talk to Logan, sure, because Logan is interesting and doesn’t expect him to answer questions like “how are you?” (not okay) or “are your parents coming for family weekend?” (definitely not) or “where’d you get that shirt?” (hot topic). Instead, Logan asks questions like “What is your opinion on string theory?” or “Do you think people come up with quantum theories because they feel good about presenting an opinion that can neither be proved or disproved and is therefore somewhat immortal in the scientific community?” or “I’m fairly certain that there are several species of Cretaceous period aquatic wildlife that never died out, what do you think?”

Those questions are easy. Ironically.

This one, however, is veering dangerously close to concern. Virgil doesn’t like it when people are concerned for him, not even Patton.

“I’m just...hungry,” he tries, and adds, “I didn’t have lunch.” to make it more believable. He’s not sure if he’s had lunch or not.

Logan shrugs and returns to his own sushi. Virgil pokes at the tuna again, aware that he’s going to have to attempt to eat it now. Roman glances across at him sharply and he freezes, ready for an insult, but Roman merely says, “Virgil, you're killing me, you’re holding that all wrong,” and waves his own hand to demonstrate.

“Wh-what?” says Virgil, thoroughly bewildered that Roman would take any notice, or even care.

“Here,” he says in a tone that Virgil is sure is part sarcastic, part scornful--and then he reaches across and takes Virgil’s hand.

Virgil goes absolutely still.

“Hold your fingers like this--no, a little further down--that’s it, and use your index finger to control--there.” He lets go of Virgil’s hand, and Virgil barely halts the whooshing sigh of relief that had been about to leave him. "And pick it up from the other direction, so you're not cutting through the fat between the layers," Roman adds, almost as an afterthought.

Much as he hates to admit it, it is now much easier to pick up his sashimi, and he can get a good enough grip on it now that it doesn’t fall as soon as he brings it to his mouth. Roman goes back to lamenting about his ex as though nothing has happened.

The rest of dinner passes mostly uneventfully, except that Virgil notices Patton taking the sushi that no one wants when they’re all finished.

Everyone is still talking so it’s not like he’s holding them back, but everyone else has stopped eating. Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he does try to catch Patton’s eye. Patton either isn’t paying attention or is intentionally avoiding his eyes.

Logan somehow brings the conversation around to astronomy, which makes Virgil perk up a bit. He knows it’s one of Patton’s favorite topics, and he’s sort of absorbed a love for the stars from him.

“What’s your favorite constellation?” Patton asks through a mouthful of salmon.

“I...don’t know that I have a favorite,” says Logan. Virgil suspects that he’s somewhat perplexed at the concept of favorite. “Draco is fairly intricate and yet easy to spot, though. I suppose that could be a favorite.”

“Mine is Orion,” says Roman, looking half relieved that someone has turned him off the subject of his girlfriend and also somewhat bewildered.

“Mine’s Ursa Minor,” says Patton, mouth still full. “Virgil?”

Virgil startles again. He’s really not used to being addressed in a group this big. He supposes four isn’t that much but for a long time any more people than Patton was completely overwhelming.

“Uh...I guess I like Cygnus,” he mumbles.

“Fascinating,” murmurs Logan.

“What?” Virgil asks warily.

“I’ve never quite understood Cygnus. For all intents and purposes, it simply forms a cross. It’s incredible that it came to be regarded as a swan and that people still see it that way today.”

Virgil glances down at the table, folds his napkin. “I guess.”

Logan and Patton fall to talking about the observatory. Logan hasn’t had a chance to go up yet, and Patton offers to take him. Roman observes the scene in slightly sulky silence. For once Virgil feels as though the sulkiness is probably not directed at them.

They pay the bill and trail out of the restaurant in a loose group, Patton falling back to walk with Virgil. Virgil feels his heart warm and settle a little as Patton falls into step beside him. He’s missed him. It’s simply not the same, having to share Patton with a group.

“Doing okay, kiddo?” Patton asks softly. Virgil listens for a second to Roman and Logan’s conversation before replying. They seem to be awkwardly discussing their last family reunion. When he’s sure they’re not paying attention to him, he murmurs, “I’m okay. Been better.” He pulls his hand discreetly away from his arm. They’re a bit torn up today but so far he’s done a good job of not scratching. And Patton still doesn’t need to know.

“Good,” says Patton, eyes brightening. “I’m real glad Logan and Roman came out with us. It’s nice to see you in a group setting.”

Virgil shrugs, trying to appear indifferent. He doesn’t want Patton to see what an ordeal it truly is for him. Then he notices that Patton has an arm wrapped loosely around his stomach.

“You okay?” he asks, concerned. Patton tries to shrug but ends up wincing instead.

“I’ll be fine,” he says with a half smile. Virgil glares at him. Patton stares at the ground, then mumbles, “but my stomach really hurts right now.”

Virgil grunts in frustration. “Patton, you’re literally hurting yourself. It’s no different from me.”

“It is-!”

“It’s not. Are you ever going to talk to anyone?”

Patton whimpers and tightens his arms around his midsection. “Maybe.”

“Please?”

“Mmph. Okay.”

“Thank you,” Virgil breathes, more relieved than he wants to let on. Then, after the silence goes on a beat too long, he adds, “I just want you to be safe, Pat.”

“I just don’t want you to be like me,” he doesn’t say.

That evening, Virgil doesn’t sneak out to the commons to hide in a corner until Roman goes to sleep, which is what he usually does. Instead he slips on his noise canceling headphones and lies down on his bed, listening to MCR. Roman is sitting at his desk reading. If he’s surprised, he doesn’t say anything.

Virgil switches to a horror podcast, No Sleep, after the album finishes and he’s done brooding over Patton. The sun’s set long ago and Roman’s gone to bed by the time the first story ends. He listens to two episodes of the podcast, barely enjoying the edge of fear that makes his fingers clutch at the sheets and his eyes go wide. Then, when he’s thoroughly exhausted, he takes off his headphones and places them and his phone on the bedside table.

There’s a noise coming from somewhere in the room.

Virgil freezes, still somewhat spooked from the podcast. He stares into the dark, hardly able to see anything, eyes stretched huge until they adjust. The noise...it’s hard to identify, but if Virgil had to guess he’d say that it was being covered. By a blanket or a wall, or something. It sounds oddly familiar. He knows he’s heard this sound before.

Then it hits him. Crying. He’s hearing someone muffle their sobs with a pillow. Well...not just someone.

Virgil rolls over to look at Roman.

It’s not immediately apparent that he’s crying; it’s dark and Virgil’s vision is still blurry. But as he focuses he can see the outline of his lanky roommate lying face down across his bed, clutching the pillow and shaking. Virgil feels his heart crawl up into his throat. His anxiety is through the roof, but he can’t decide which is worse: lying here in the dark listening to Roman cry, trying to sneak out to the common room or the kitchen for some late night coffee and alerting Roman to his presence, or...saying something.

Saying something?

What would he say?

What do you say to a person who probably hurts you when you catch them in tears in the dead of night in your shared room?

Virgil isn’t sure, but there’s a little voice in the back of his head telling him that Patton wouldn’t run away from this. Patton would rather die than leave a person in need, even a person he deeply disliked. Not that Patton ever disliked people.

So Virgil takes a deep breath.

And another.

And another until he tells himself to stop being a wuss and just say something, count of three; one, two--

“Roman?”

The crying continues. Roman doesn’t even move. Virgil’s not sure he heard him at all. His voice pretty much came out as a squeak. He clears his throat and tries again, louder.

“Roman?”

There’s a hitch of breath and then the awful sort of choking sound that happens when someone is trying really hard to hold back tears and failing badly.

“Are...are you okay?”

Stupid. Stupid, stupid--clearly he’s not okay or he wouldn’t be crying into his pillow. Virgil takes another shaky breath. “I-I mean, is there anything I can do?”

There’s almost near silence for a second, and then Roman sits up so fast that it startles Virgil, who yelps and shoots straight up as well. The sit there in the dark, staring at each other, until Roman sniffles and mumbles, “sorry,” and Virgil awkwardly says “it’s...okay,” half towards the apology, half because he’s pretty sure that’s what you’re supposed to say to crying people.

“Ugh. Sorry,” says Roman again, louder this time, and now Virgil’s sure he’s looking directly at him. He pulls off the covers because it suddenly feels too hot in the room. They’ve started turning the heat on already but in Virgil’s opinion it’s not nearly cold enough for that.

“It’s just,” starts Roman, and shudders. “It’s. God, do you know how it feels to walk around as half of a person?”

Virgil stays silent. He has a feeling Roman has more to say. And he’s correct.

“Like, not even that part of you is missing, but that you’ve been literally ripped in half? Your heart just--rent in two? Can you imagine how painful that would actually be? I keep trying to come up with metaphors to describe it more accurately, but it’s like my creativity’s died.”

Roman looks down at the bedsheets, clutches them in both fists. Virgil’s eyes have adjusted enough now that he can actually see the tears streaming silently down his face, but Roman’s recovered enough to form words without stumbling.

“Not even that you’ve been ripped in half, no,” says Roman, and Virgil feels that he’s on a roll now. “No. Like half of you decided that it didn’t want to be that half of you anymore-that it didn’t even want to be a half--and it just straight up left.”

He gestures madly with one hand and Virgil tries to follow. He’s thoroughly bewildered and slightly frightened, but he tries to call on his empathy, tries to call on years of hanging out with Patton.

“I’m...sorry. That sounds. Uh. That sounds really rough.”

Virgil expects Roman to yell at him for using as mundane and small a word as “rough”, but instead he just sniffles.

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “It is.”

Then he completely breaks down again.

Virgil doesn’t think he would’ve done it if the covers weren’t thrown back, but seeing as his legs are exposed to the open air, it’s simple enough (even if his heart is pounding in his chest) to swing them over the edge of the bed, walk over to Roman’s bed, and sit down. Then (and he really thinks his heart might burst out of his chest now) all that’s left to do is reach out and settle a hand on the shoulder of his loathsome roommate. Roman’s shaking. Hard. It’s deeply unsettling, but Virgil keeps thinking what would Patton do what would Patton do, and that guides him to start rubbing slow, smooth circles into Roman’s back. He’s trying to imagine what a breakup must feel like. He’s never even kissed anyone, let alone been in a relationship as long as he assumes Roman’s was, done all of the things he assumes Roman’s done. Heck, that Patton’s done.

Roman’s metaphors are not making very much sense in his head, though, and so he just tells himself that it must feel very, very, bad, and focuses on rubbing Roman’s back.

“You’re gonna be okay,” he says, because it feels like the right thing to do and everything is so surreal and he’s not sure what else to say, and Patton always says it to him when he’s crying. Unfortunately that just seems to make Roman cry louder. And that would be the moment that Virgil absolutely panicked, except that it’s also the moment that Romand turns in toward him, sinks down, and rests his head on Virgil’s shoulder. So instead it’s the moment that he completely freezes, utterly terrified but somehow reassured that he must be doing something right. He’s not sure how long they stay there or how long it is before the thin t shirt he’s wearing as pajamas is soaked through in the shoulder, or how long it takes before Roman’s sobs fade to quiet sniffles, and then to snores.

He does know that he’s extremely startled the next morning when he wakes up with Roman tangled up in his arms, clutching at his shoulder. So startled, in fact, that he bolts upright yelping.

“Wh-” Roman rolls over, feeling around for a second as though clutching for a blanket, and then his eyes open and meets Virgil’s and understanding comes flooding back to him. “Oh. Oh GOD.”

Before Virgil can even say anything, Roman blurts, “Not a WORD, do you understand? Not a single word.”

Virgil nods mutely before scrambling off the bed, grabbing the first pair of clean clothes he finds on the floor, and running off to change in the bathroom.

When he comes back out, Roman’s gone.

#virgil #patton #logan #roman #sanders sides #thomas sanders #college au #tw: eating disorder #tw: self harm

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duganhoughton09-blog · 6 years ago

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