#i went trick or treating once when i was like 12

[no-thanks-im-stuffed]

I have a Gravity Falls Theory I've been meaning to write down for a WHILE so here goes:

Stanford Pines is no genius and I'm gonna pick apart every single one of "Ford's" scientific inventions/accomplishments to prove it.

Grab a beverage, this is gonna be a long one

[Gravity Falls spoilers, a little bit of The Book of Bill]

Contents:

Ford's "Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness"

Codes and Secrets

Inventions

Ford's Tragic Backstory

McGucket

Why Would He Do This??

After Weirdmageddon

TLDR

1. Ford's "Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness"

I can support most of my claims with the help of Journal 3. Unless Ford had actual, scientific research papers, this is the only research we have from him and it's... not scientific in the slightest. Ford treats his "research notes" like a personal diary. I get that they had to design the Journal to be entertaining to kids, but from a scientific lense (which is what he wants to be perceived through), most of Ford's discoveries are very surface level and sometimes (especially later on) border on paranoid conspiracy theorist rambling.

His Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness is the reason he came to Gravity Falls in the first place. His goal is clear:

but, on the very next page, the ramblings start.

It gets worse once he finds the invisible ink.

"The pyramids were built to appease Bill!" sure, buddy.

(And yes, Bill confirms most of these ramblings about his history in The Book of Bill, but a) he too could be lying about this and b) I don't think he had a nice chat with Ford about who he tricked and tormented to build his portal. It wouldn't really fit into the timeline.)

The one bit of "science" I found him doing was his experimentation with the Bottomless Pit. He threw objects in the hole and only saw some stuff coming back while other stuff went missing. Ford hypothesizes it might be a "Möbius Pit" and even spends enough time experimenting on it that he found out "nothing ever seems to get lost on Friday the Thirteenth". Credit where credit is due.

Anyway, he's documenting all kinds of fantastical creatures in the Journal - adding his whimsical commentary and making random assumptions about stuff without any scientific basis. As he admits himself later on, this is getting him nowhere to actually start his Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness, let alone finish it. It's been SIX YEARS.

BUDDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

It took a spark of "divine intervention" to even start doing any meaningful research and it was just Bill telling him "hey there's a weirdness dimension btw".

Ford even admits that he didn't come up with it himself. The next pages are the first actually scientific looking ones so far, but more on that in the Inventions section.

He doesn't really advance on his Weirdness Theory for a while (see McGucket chapter for more), but later in the Journal, Ford has a little adventure with Dipper, talking about "The True Theory of Weirdness". He drops a "weird" jelly bean on the floor and watches it roll uphill towards Gravity Falls. He then states that Gravity Falls is a "Weirdness Magnet" and every oddity is eventually drawn to this place. Which is not a theory scientifically speaking, more like an unproven hypothesis. He didn't develop a model to, let's say, predict which oddity will find its way to Gravity Falls next or when it will happen.

"I explained that I felt in my bones that my arrival at this town, and perhaps Dipper's, too, was not an accident. That we were part of some greater fate the town had in store for us." Very scientific.

2. Codes and Secrets

The Journal has several hidden messages from a good handful of characters, some more encoded than others.

We all know about the Map leading to the secrets of Nathaniel Northwest's fraud from the show. Ford found it somewhere in the library.

It just needed to be folded. Layton ass puzzle. A 12 year old figured it out. Ford couldn't do it. Even Mabel is poking fun at him.

Now on to the ciphers.

One of them is a letter from Blendin, encrypted with the Vigenère cipher. To this, Stanford "aced cryptology" Pines says the following:

He was given the key and still couldn't make sense of it. Of course a cool puzzle for people reading the Journal, but not really helping Ford with upholding his image of being an undeniable genius.

Ford himself mainly uses the Atbash and Caesar ciphers, both being a) literally thousands of years old, b) incredibly simple and c) not his own invention.

Bill uses two symbol substition ciphers.

Now I don't know about you, but if a divine being chose me as the genius of the century to inspire me and said being left tiny hidden messages in my diary, I would stop at nothing to try and decipher what they're trying to tell me. For some reason, Ford did not do this. The first message Bill leaves says "I'VE BEEN INSIDE YOUR MIND SIXER, I KNOW YOUR SECRETS". He could have seen all of this coming wayyy earlier (or just had yet another red flag to ignore).

Anyway, I accidentally solved the code before finishing the Journal just to discover that Bill is literally handing him the solution on a silver platter towards the end.

Girl, what do you mean "???" ??

Now, I know Ford at this point is incredibly sleep deprived, paranoid and traumatized. But come on. If I can solve it 6 coffees in while dissociating, our genius can find the solution to Bill's alphabet using the A1Z26 cipher that he put in the journal himself. Plus, as mentioned, he could have deciphered his alphabet way before The Betrayal when his mind was still sound.

So again, not a good look for Ford in the whole genius department.

3. Inventions

Now let's take a look a the inventions which are most commonly associated with Stanford:

The Portal

The Bunker

The Magnet Gun

The Quantum Destabilizer

The Perpetual Motion Machine

The Portal is not one of Ford's inventions, that much is pretty clear. He "comes up with the idea" after Bill told him about some kind of "weirdness dimension".

Now maybe Ford built the portal. Or McGucket built it (which I find more likely due to his tendency to build large scale metal structures) and Ford helped him. We can't really say for sure.

What we CAN say for sure is that McGucket left the day before the big test, which means the portal was basically finished at that point. So if there was still any work left to be done, it would have been minimal and "even Stanley" could figure it out without help, so Ford probably could have, too.

The Bunker. Designed and built by McGucket (and possibly the lumberjacks before zapping them with the Memory Gun), including the death trap of a security system.

Notice the wording. McGucket insisted he could do it on HIS own. But then went out of his way to ask the lumberjacks and not Ford to help excavate the whole thing.

Why? Why not include Ford? Maybe because McGucket could tell Ford was overworked. Maybe because he thought even with Ford's help, they wouldn't have been able to do it in a timely manner and he didn't want to memory zap more people than neccessary, I'm not sure.

Anyway, the Bunker consists of the Bunker itself, a Security Room, an Observation Room and a Storage Room. On top of that, a Temperature Control Apparatus, a Cooling System and a Cryogenic Tube.

Again with the phrasing. "HIS skill for construction". "telephone HE built". "my assistant really topped HIMSELF with the security precautions". "once F starts inventing, HE can't stop".

A man like Ford wouldn't pass up on an opportunity to tell the world about his own accomplishments, yet they are strangely missing in these pages. However, the sketches documenting McGucket's work have become more technical than they've ever been. They even have small annotations that seem as if Ford asked McGucket what he was currently building.

"F has explained" implies McGucket was once again doing this on his own. Why else would he need to explain anything to Ford if they were doing this together? Plus, again, surely Ford would have mentioned something, anything, if he had participated in any way.

The things he DID mention is that he found a mole man skeleton and "Shifty", the shapeshifting creature. And he saved McGucket once Shifty broke out of their cage (Remember this for later, it'll come in handy). And he conducts tests on Shifty (remember this as well).

On to the Magnet Gun.

Again, passive form. If Ford had modified the gun himself, he would have told us. Chances are it was once again McGucket. Or it was just taken from Crash Site Omega as Ford says in the show that he and McGucket came down there often to loot the UFO for tech.

Lastly: The Quantum Destabilizer.

He actually admits he worked on it. However, he spent 30 years between dimensions. In these 30 years he couldn't find anyone (including himself) to get the Destabilizer working. The Other McGucket, however, was able to do it in less than a week.

Ford claims he was missing a suitable power source which The Other McGucket found, but there's no way of knowing if there was more to those "minor adjustments" to Ford's blaster than Ford would like to admit.

The only invention left is the Perpetual Motion Machine which I will save for the "Tragic Backstory" section.

Honorable mentions:

The Hyperdrive needed to power the portal:

"F's mechanical know-how" vs. "my keen intuition." implying Ford merely found the Hyperdrive, but McGucket extracted it safely.

So the Hyperdrive was looted from Crash Site Omega. Plus, McGucket was the one to realize it was even needed in the first place.

While between dimensions, he was given a Dimensional Translator. Also not his own invention.

The metal plate in his head? Not his invention. Not even his idea. The Oracle did that for him.

The Book of Bill has another example that Ford can't invent for shit: He found the blueprint of Abigale Blackwing's Anti-Bill-Suit in the library (once again, not even his own invention) and drafted a more modern blueprint. And either he completely failed to build it or it didn't work because we never hear from it again. Instead, he installs a retina scanner to keep Bill out of the lab. Which he (probably) ALSO didn't build himself.

In summary:

Portal: blueprint by Bill, (probably) built by McGucket.

Bunker: designed and built by McGucket (probably with the help of the lumberjacks).

Magnet Gun: likely looted from Crash Site Omega.

Quantum Destabilizer: a mess before McGucket fixed it overnight

Perpetual Motion Machine: see below.

Dimensional Translator: Not Ford's invention.

Metal Plate: thought of and installed by The Oracle.

Anti-Bill-Suit: invented by Abigale Blackwing.

In fact, he mostly doesn't even say that he did any of this. He openly admits whenever he took something or McGucket built stuff, and barely calls any of the inventions his own. We just assumed that he can (on account of him being a genius), so we assumed he did.

4. Ford's Tragic Backstory

would only make sense if he ACTUALLY couldn't get the Perpetual Motion Machine to work. We already know Ford is an unreliable narrator and I'm probably not the first one to point out that it doesn't make sense that Stan supposedly cost Ford his entire scholarship by breaking his Perpetual Motion Machine (accident or not).

Think about it from a college's point of view: You hear about a young man who apparently built a machine that violates the laws of thermodynamics. You don't just pass up on something like that just because it didn't work the ONE TIME you came to visit. That would be an exceedingly stupid thing to do. I think they would have given him that scholarship if he even got close to achieving such a feat.

Now let's briefly assume Ford IS a genius whose invention got sabotaged. Ford could have easily fixed it and asked for a second appointment with the judges. This did not happen. And even if he didn't get into his dream school, he could have used this perpetual motion machine for the good of humanity. He didn't do that. If the Machine had ever worked, it would have made international news. It didn't. He would have been world famous. He isn't.

What does that tell us?

Does he even have 12 PHDs as he keeps claiming? In what? For what reason? Wouldn't he get a scholarship for his dream school at some point given his seemingly endless potential? It all seems like overcompensation to me. Reminds me of Tommy Tallarico and his ever-increasing number of Guinness World Records.

However, there is a reason Ford is like this. It is connected to his tragic backstory, but I will include this in the final chapter for narrative reasons.

Also note how even in A Better World, he did not go do his dream college. The science center was built around the Shack that he went to later in life:

And even there, he only manages to make a name of himself with McGucket's cooperation. We already established he couldn't build the portal on his own. My guess that McGucket once again did the heavy lifting and didn't mind Ford taking the credit (as you will see in the McGucket chapter).

5. McGucket

At this point we've already gone over how McGucket built (probably) most of the Portal, the Bunker and everything in it, and got the Quantum Stabilizer to work. We also know that in his free time, he loves to tinker. He canonically built a laptop (with extra keys for Fords fingers), a cellphone, the Memory Gun, several killer robots, the Shack-O-Tron and started an entire ass cult along the way.

And that's just what I picked up on from skimming the Journal.

We only see McGucket make stuff on screen. All this time he's welding together contraptions, piloting giant killer robots, having a blast.

We never see Ford tinkering ONCE. Still, he constantly praises McGucket for his "brilliant mind", "mechanical knowledge" and "skill in construction".

I think Ford was McGucket's assistant. He didn't get ANYTHING done before he called McGucket over for help. In the bunker, all he did was find a skeleton and conduct "experiments" on Shifty (by showing them pictures of creatures and documenting what happens). He led McGucket to the UFO crash site, McGucket was the one to actually extract the Hyperdrive. All of the stuff Ford does sounds more like an assistant's job to me.

I'm also pretty sure McGucket knows that Ford isn't the genius he claims to be. Upon seeing Bill's blueprints, he immediately gets suspicious:

Why would he say this to a fellow genius?

And he's the one who recognizes something is wrong with the portal earlier than anyone else.

The day before the test, he meets Ford at the diner to warn him cause he knows something is deeply wrong - and offers him a thesis paper.

Now here is where things get interesting.

Ford gets angry. But instead of saying something like "How dare you insult my scientific integrity / intelligence", he thinks McGucket wants the Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness to himself, which obviously couldn't be further from the truth. But Ford is too insecure about his intelligence and too curious about the portal to care.

This makes me wonder if McGucket had done this before. They went to college together. What if McGucket wrote Ford's final assignment as well? What if he'd seen him have a meltdown over the introduction and whipped up a fantastic final thesis in an afternoon?

We know McGucket cares deeply for Ford, and we can tell his intentions at the diner were sincere. He doesn't really want or need any credit - meanwhile Ford is starved for it. This is probably also why he's fine being "Ford's assistant" even though he's the one putting in most of the work.

6. Why Would He Do This??

Before we talk about Ford's plans after Weirdmageddon, I have to mention that there's a good reason Ford is pretending to be a genius. This is pretty speculative territory, but I think it makes sense given what we know about the Pines family.

When you're a twin, at least in the Stan Bro's case, you're constantly being compared to one another. Once it has been established that Ford is the "smarter" of the two (true or not), their father latches onto that and soon Ford's intelligence becomes his entire identity. I think just like Stan was looked down upon and neglected for being the "stupid" twin, Ford was burdened with expectations for being the "smart" twin. "You're gonna go far, kid. You're gonna make us so much money, you're gonna get us out of this dump." An INSANE thing to burden a child with.

This goes well for a while - Ford gets straight As and is the pride of the family. His ego inflates. But then something strange happens which I'm sure many "gifted kids" can relate to - he hits a wall. At some point he can no longer brute force things with his intelligence and he has trouble keeping up with his family's expectations. His massive ego gets damaged beyond repair.

Soon, he starts questioning everything. "If I'm not the smart guy, who am I? What's left?" He's been living like this his entire life. It's way too late to turn back so he moves forward. And if intelligence can't get him there, at least he can use the smarts he does have to make sure nobody else ever finds out. It's not unlikely for him to develop this attitude and it's the same kind of mindset he brings to taking the Hyperdrive from Crash Site Omega:

In a way, this makes him a con artist like Stanley. Which, after everything that's happened between the two, must feel like such an insult to Ford that he'd rather live in denial than face reality. The reality being that he is about as intelligent as Stanley, too. This doesn't mean that Stan is dumb (he managed to get the portal to work with barely any help, after all) - just that Ford is not as intelligent as he (and everyone else) thought / expected of him. AND that Stanley isn't as dumb as everyone always told him he was.

I think while yes, Stan broke the Machine, Ford couldn't fix it. Or it was never even a Perpetual Motion Machine to begin with. Yes, Ford couldn't go to his "dream college", but was that really his dream? Or his father's? Remember when McGucket offered him the Weirdness Thesis on a silver platter, saying with this he can finally "get his life back", and Ford still refused it? Maybe he didn't want his old life back. Because his old life SUCKED without Stanley in it.

7. After Weirdmageddon

Now that we established what Ford's dad wanted him to be, let's explore what Ford actually likes doing.

Obviously journaling and sketching what he sees, but what else?

Ford loves exploring. He goes on hikes, climbs mountains, visits caves, goes ham on Crash Site Omega. In the Bunker he looks around and discovers a mole man skeleton and Shifty while McGucket did the inventing/building.

He's also great at action hero stuff. He saves McGucket from the Gremloblin, and later from Shifty, he's jumping around the UFO with a magnet gun as if it's the only thing he's ever done, and saving Dipper from the security system, just to name a few.

He even says this in the episode: "I need to train an apprentice to help me fight monsters, solve mysteries, and protect this town." This doesn't really sound like science stuff to me.

So yeah I think Ford lied about being a genius to compensate for his (self perceived) lack of other qualities, he lied about his 12 PHDs, his scientific accomplishments, maybe even some inventions. He sucks at decoding things despite claiming to have "aced cryptology". Instead, he spends most of his time exploring, fighting monsters, stealing shit and getting in all kinds of dangerous situations. Truth is, he is much more similar to Stan than he'd like anyone to find out.

He also doesn't even WANT to do science. He likes the idea of science, like in Sci Fi movies, but not the actual labor that comes with it. Ford has been travelling between dimensions for 30 years. He probably is the only human to ever have done that in his dimension. Surely he spent these 30 years on research? Well...

There's only a single line mentioned in the Journal about doing anything scientific and he didn't even dedicate the entire sentence to it.

He "compared notes with scholars". That's it.

But surely he has so many papers and theories he can finally publish to fulfil his initial goal to "join the ranks of Newton, Tesla, & Einstein in the pantheon of science"?

Nope. He goes treasure hunting with Stanley. Ford seems to have forgotten all about his research. And I think that's not just because he wants to make up for lost time, but also because this is what he truly wanted to do in the first place, before he was forced into the "genius" mold.

To go adventuring, to be creative, to spend time with the family that matters.

8. TLDR

Ford didn't manage to write his Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness.

His Journal is entertaining, but ultimately full of unscientific ramblings.

He didn't build the portal, bunker, magnet gun, quantum destabilizer, or any other invention I could find.

All of his accomplishments can be traced back to either Bill, the town library, or McGucket.

He didn't write his own codes, he couldn't decipher any of the codes or secrets he found, including the ones he was given a solution to.

The Journal makes it look like Ford is McGucket's assistant and not the other way round.

McGucket is amazing and needs to be protected at all costs.

The tragicness of Ford's backstory makes no sense if he actually WAS a genius.

He needed to keep up the genius act because that's what his family expected of him and now he's con-artist level good at it.

He spent 30 years between dimensions committing crimes and preparing for revenge instead of doing science.

he seems to not even LIKE doing science. he prefers exploring, drawing, and getting into dangerous situations.

Once back in his home dimension, instead of doing anything science related, he goes adventuring with his brother.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against Ford, if anything this adds to his character cause I haven't seen anyone even so much as question his status as a genius yet. I just needed to get this out of my system cause this has been brewing in my brain since JULY.

This took me 10 hours to write. Thank you so much for making it this far, this post was brought to you by Autism™

[mads-is-tired]

Thoughts on halloween and spooky season in general?

i’m not super big on halloween tbh, it’s not really big in australia in general. like while it’s not for me, i can appreciate the spooky vibe people go for, but also spooky season goes hand in hand with autumn while it’s spring here lol

however my other internet “identity” is ghost_socks and i love cute little ghosts!

thanks for the ask!!!

[daughterofapollo-official]

Halloween.

Believe it or not Nico loves Halloween. Cabin 13 has the best decorations (half are actual skeletons and spirts, but Dw. He got permission from Hades)

He loves the holiday because his the best at it. The boy will be shadow traveling all night, just little trips from corner to corner of camp and scaring the absolute shit out of everyone. Will he feel dead the next day? Yes but that’s day of the dead so, it’s all in good spirits! He looks freaky as hell… so not much different than usual.

If he is not jump scaring someone he has a huge smile on his face, because he and Will went as a couple’s costume. It’s adorable.

However for that Day Nico had to sever the attachment at the hip. Only for some portions of the night. You know how hard it is to jump scare or catch people off guard if you’re right next to your boyfriend who naturally glows? Impossible.

Children of Aphrodite also love the Holiday. Not for the scares but for the romance! Couples costumes, binging scary movies until you end up crawling in your lovers lap and making out. Drinking and showing off how hot you look in your costume, waiting for the compliments on how beautiful you are to come flooding in. It’s the best.

Some will go in a pretty costume, some in a slutty costume. Piper herself went as Marida from brave. Because all the girls wanted to go as Disney princess and they begged her to join. She gave in, but instead on Marida. Leo presided to make fun on her the whole night for how the red wig clashed with her skin color until she took said wig off and slapped him with it. The son of Hephaestus was coughing fake red hair for at least two days afterwards.

Children of Apollo also enjoy the holiday, but for different reasons. They like the artistry of it. They like dissecting horror, movies, and thrillers and slashers seeing what the recipe is and whether or not the movie was good in terms of writing and acting. They like the songs that are played thought the night. Every Halloween you can spot at least two children of Apollo at any time mumbling to themselves or out right singing “I always feel like somebody is watching meeeeee!” Nothing makes them happier than you joining in “and I got no privacy” it will make them insanely happy.

They love how creative people can get with costumes and also love how people reference art peace’s in their costumes. And buy that: any movie or book character costume is an art reference.

They love how creative the food is too. Those homemade Halloween themed food that is just normal food but is served and decorated in a way it doesn’t look it with a fake name like ‘brains’ instead of pasta.

Children of Dionysus live for Halloween. In the early hours of night when the sun is just starting to set, the younger campers had arrived when they were little or I still 12 and under go trick-or-treating from cabin to cabin and get candy from counselors or teenage campers. It’s a very adorable part of Halloween especially for the little kids that live at camp have blood that don’t have a home to go back to or parents trick-or-treat with.

But after all the little trick-or-treaters are done, they all go to a chosen cabin and they have a sleepover and they’re allowed to watch Halloween movies and eat their candy for the rest of the night.

But the big kids all head over to the Dionysus cabin once the kids are done trick-or-treating, and the Dionysus cabin throws the biggest Rager of the year on Halloween. Red Wine everywhere but they call it blood. Costume contest, party party party. In any detection you look there’s at least one couple sucking face. Drinking games. Spin the bottle. It’s absolutely crazy.

Trick-or-treat! Hermes children pick trick! They will TP every cabin they can, scare the little ones instead of give candy. There will be a prank or jump scare every day leading up to Halloween and on Halloween the tricks just intensify.

Children of Hephaestus are traders. They build the machinery needed for Hermes Cabin trickery in exchange of immunity. They also have some of the best decorations in camp because they have steam and glowing red eyes!!! They make all the decorations themselves. Cue evil laugh. It’s all mechanical dummies designed to be as scary as possible. All the robots movements are planes and calculated to scare. Voice boxes in all of them and everything. In fact there’s this whole campaign of teens that want Chiron to allow the Hephaestus cabin to make a haunted house every year. Chiron said he’d allow it if the found a building to host it. So far they haven’t. But Leo is insistent that Bunker 9 is all they need.

Almost everyone enjoys and love Halloween, except for Hunters of Artemis. The hunters of Artemis hate Halloween becuase they think the kids in costumes are targets half the time and they’ve injured multiple children in the past. They got in trouble for this so many times that Chiron forbid them from visiting on Halloween for the rest of time.

“Boo!”

Shoots arrow

“Ahhhhh! Chiron!”

“Shit that wasn’t the real madusa?!”

Children of Hades playlist 👇

Children of Aphrodite playlist 👇

Children of Apollo playlist 👇

Children of Dionysus playlist 👇

Children of Hermes playlist 👇

Children of Hephaestus playlist 👇

Hunters of Artemis playlist 👇

[connabeth]

i have to say, as cute as the percabeth heart to heart in the intro was (although upsetting that it didn’t happen in the zoo truck and percy doesn’t find out about how athenian reproduction works mid-labyrinth), r*ck is once again giving frederick FAR too much credit and diverting all the blame to annabeth’s stepmom. ‘my father treated me like a gift until he met a woman who saw me as a problem so i ran away’ like first off, she IS a gift, and secondly, only a father who never made his daughter his number one priority in the first place would be complacent in the emotional abuse inflicted by his wife. his full heart was never in it because, at the end of the day, a baby he didn’t consent to showed up in a golden cradle on his doorstep. both frederick and his wife are awful, neglectful parents and with the way annabeth does understand that her father loved her (in his own kind of detached, antithesis of sally jackson way) and was maybe decent enough pre-stepmom, i feel like the way the conversation is set up is to give percy the room to later on encourage annabeth to reconnect with her dad, however undeserved. it always rubbed me the wrong way how much her home situation was undermined at points in the book and how annabeth went back to being close with her dad by the post-hoo era despite years of neglect. BUT…

percy hearing all this and later understanding why annabeth places as much faith in her mother as she does, and not belittling her for it, was very sweet and shined a light on the kind, empathetic part of percy we’ve been missing thus far. annabeth HAS to believe that athena will protect her because who else does she have? percy, on the other hand, doesn’t believe for a single second poseidon will protect him because he knows his mother as his protector and when has poseidon ever protected her? and to see the distraught expression on annabeth’s face and the guilt on percy’s face when she realizes percy sending medusa’s head to olympus embarrassed athena enough to punish her 12 year old favored daughter to a likely death…i’m losing my mind!! athena abandoning annabeth despite her unwavering faith juxtaposed with poseidon showing up for percy despite his complete lack of it…insanity!! and the way percy was so ready to throw himself in harm’s way thinking ‘there’s no way my dad will help but idc i’m not letting annabeth die for me’ by tricking her and pushing her down the stairs without hesitation like the reason he initially picked her on the quest for…true cinema. annabeth being willing to do the same so percy and grover could escape despite knowing she’d lost her mother’s support…so true to her character. her teasing him about asking dumb questions and having friendly banter and him saying he’d rather fight by her side than his dad’s as a parallel to what annabeth will hopefully tell him on in the zoo truck and then annabeth warning him he’s about to call her a friend…i will say this episode was short as hell and the action sequences are still not as extensive or climactic as i hoped, but i believe it did more justice to percy and annabeth’s and the larger trio’s dynamic a lot more than past episodes.

[irishfa]

The usual morning

You wake up at 12 in the morning, belly rounded from a late night binge, to the side you see various boxes, likely from the takeaways you had that night. Was it pizza this time? A Chinese spice box?, burgers or maybe all 3 it's hard to keep track at this stage.

You heaved yourself from the bed, the bloated middle making it harder than before, you can't recall when this struggle began, was it when you met your partner, when you began to work in the office, or was it during your time at college or perhaps even before then. Regardless of when it happened it's only been getting harder and harder as the days stroll by. What was once the size of a full belly is now how you look empty, your chest looking softer too, you truly went up a few cup sizes but did you even wear a bra in the first place?

The usual routine for the morning that is most consistent is dealing with your eternal enemy, your hunger. It's been growing lately, more and more does it knaw at you begging you to deal with it. Buttered toast, bacon, eggs some litres of milk with a few pancakes should do the trick but was breakfast always that big? Was it big enough now? Maybe you should see if Just Eat has anything for breakfast.

This has been your life for months now or even years, you eat and eat and eat and each time more and more food is on the plate, somedays you wonder if you need to change, you felt winded just leaving the bed this morning and the creaking on the bed has been getting out of hand but didn't you break your bed last week when you went to sit on it?

All these thoughts for your morning routine but with each bite you take and each knock on that door for more food these thoughts fade away. It's so much easier not to worry about all these small things, you're better off treating yourself you think.

A touch to your underbelly really shows how great this routine treats you, each bite leaves a soft moan that gets louder and louder as you fill up. At this stage you're packed tight but you keep eating more and more. That hunger is your desire, your desire to be fed and fattened, that creak by your bed is your progress to fully outgrow it. Those boxes are the victories you achieved on your fattening journey.

Now love be a good piggy and do it all over again for me but at this stage I don't even have to ask you just do it.

[bluepotion85]

The Golden Ratio - Chapter 12

(The following story contains male weight gain, food play, BDSM, kidnap, encouragement, and feeder/feedee scenarios. If that's not for you, then go to church or something vanilla dude.

This takes place during and after the events of the One-Piece film GOLD. For a better experience see the film on your local streaming service.

This story is written in collaboration with @bee-wg)

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Zoro

The run to the merry was the hardest thing I have done in half a year. My body was drenched in sweat by the time I boarded, 

I try not to make it that obvious. They haven't seen me in months, and I can't imagine their reactions when they see the five hundred and fifty pounds of mass in front of them.

The only point of reference I have is Nami and Luffy.

Luffy didn't react at all to my weight, but he has never been the brightest at “spotting the difference.” 

“Why are you acting all funny, Zoro? Haha. Quit playing; we have to get out,” He said while we ran back to the ship, and I huffed like a hippo with every step I took.

Nami, on the other hand, was more concerned. She was shocked beyond belief when she broke into Tesoro’s quarters to find me. I had to explain that my weight wasn't a devil fruit power or trick from Tesoro.

She sighed in defeat and took my word for it. I noticed her worried look with every wince and huff I gave. It's not like her breasts didn't double in size during the two years we were training; this is a pretty similar situation when you think about it.

Once on board, the first thing I see is a ball of fur latching itself to my face. 

“Zoro!!!” Chopper said, hugging me with all his tiny raccoon body.

Luffy saw the opportunity and wrapped his arms around me as well. They both squeezed like I was the rubber man in the crew. These idiots will kill me after saving me; how I missed them. 

Holding my breath, I let them have all the time they need to welcome me back.

 “We’ve been so worried about you!” Chopper said, wiping his tears and dropping from my face.

“I'm so happy to have you back, Zoro,” Luffi said, still strangling me.

His arms sank into my flesh while I started to turn blue.

“Luffy! That's enough; let go of him,” Nami said.

After beating Luffy away from me, the rest of the gang got to see me. Except for Chopper, they all looked just like Nami did. They were shocked, worried, puzzled, and one that seemed so amazed.

“What happened to the moss head? Did they try to feed you to death?” Sanji said, laughing historically.

My cheeks turn red while my teeth grind. 

“What do you mean? He looks the same as always,” said Chopper.

“Come on, Chopper. Don’t you see? He looks just like the cheap knockoff moss head in Sabaody archipelago,” Sanji replied.

Chopper looks at me with all his attention and gasps.

“Zoro, you are having an allergic reaction! We have to get you treated right away,” Chopper said, running to my side and trying to pull me to the infirmary.

“Don't worry, Chopper. I'm fine,” I replied. 

He looked up at me, and his face was filled with a relieved smile, followed by widened eyes. His hooves poked at my leg, feeling the softer flesh. He understands the situation now. 

“Don't listen to curly eyebrows. He is just jealous that the cooks there made better food than him,” I replied mockingly.

Sanji looks at me angrily. He dashes towards me until our foreheads clash.

“And what would you know of good food? I'm sure they serve you slop, and you eat it up, cactus head,” He spat at me.

“There's no time for this; we have to get out of here. Sanji, get the sails ready,” Nami said.

“Yes, Nuami—chuan!” the idiot cook said before gliding to work. If everyone is the same, it's no surprise this horndog hasn't changed either.

“Where is everyone else?” I asked, looking around.

“Franky, Robin, and Usopp went ahead of us and infiltrated Wano. Trafalgar and the others are waiting for us there,” Brook said, handing me a handkerchief.

“To wipe up the sweat, you look exhausted. Besides, I don't need it. I can't sweat as a skeleton, yohohoho,” Brook added.

Putting on my best smile, I use the handkerchief and bite my tongue. 

Everyone runs to positions to get the ship out on the sea as soon as possible. What can I do that won't let me look like a huffing pig halfway through?

I dread moving beyond this point; my legs are killing me from the walk. But I knew this day would come, and my journey back to normalcy would be challenging, so I might just get started.

“Zoro, you better take a break with Luffy. You both have been through enough,” Nami said.

Luffy deflated from his gear four form and had been huffing for air since his battle with Tesoro ended. He used the last of his energy just to hug me on board. He is now sleeping on the floor with the softest of smiles. He seems confident in our victory even when we are not out of danger.

“Okay,” I replied, sitting beside Luffy.

At least the awkward explanation of why I ended up like this will wait until we are off enemy fire. By the night's end, everyone was too exhausted to seek answers, so we went to bed. 

The feeling of the bunk bed under my skin was the biggest victory in the world. I was back home.

With a sigh, I entered the kitchen for breakfast the following day. Everyone was already there getting their servings. They looked at me briefly before continuing with their food, but I could tell they wanted to ask.

I was about to break the silence and tell them what happened with Tesoro when the idiot cook opened his mouth.

“So, will you tell us how you ended up bigger than Big Mom?” he said mockingly.

“Sanji, we agreed not to ask right away!” Nami shouted back.

“Yeah, besides, he is not that big!” Chopper said.

“I'm also curious to know what happened,” Luffy said nonchalantly.

Our doctor and navigator both glared at him; while they battered our captain, I cleared my throat and took a seat at the table.

“While you were all risking your life, Tesoro took his time getting me like this as a joke. You all struggled through hell while I sat on my ass doing nothing,” I said.

The kitchen falls silent; Nami lets go of Luffy as she embraces me in a hug. 

“You were trapped; you didn't have a choice. We would have saved you regardless of what happened while you were there,” She said.

Chopper followed her lead and hugged me as tightly as his tiny body could afford.

“It doesn't matter how much you grew; we will help you lose the weight in no time,”

Brook came from behind me and wrapped us in his arms.

“Don't worry, my brother of thick bones; we are happy to have you back no matter what,” he said, tears rolling out of his eye sockets.

“I like the new look. It makes you look more intimidating; I bet none of the emperors have a swordsman, even half your size! Hahaha,” Luffy said proudly.

Sanji just shrugged and placed a plate in front of me. Onigiri and freshly made miso soup.

“Eat up, we still have things to do besides getting your fat ass in shape,” he said.

The rest of the crew lets go of me, and we all dig in. The food was good, but I was still hungry by the time I finished everything. 

It was Sanji and Luffy’s turn to wash the dishes, so we left the kitchen and got busy with other tasks on the ship.

Brook is helping Nami steer the ship while Chopper and I clean. 

Chopper must notice my sweating ass struggling to keep up because the next thing I see is him turning into a bigger version of himself, taking a second broom and rushing to clean in record time.

“Dot exert yourself too much, Zoro. You are just getting back into the rhythm of things. Follow your big bro's lead, and you will be back in shape in no time,” He said, swiping the floors. 

“Thanks, Chopper,” I said.

“The newspapers arrived; they have the story!” Nami said.

We stopped what we were doing and gathered around Nami as she read the article about the raid at the Grand Tesoro. Those guys got the news fast. It hasn't been a day, and the report is out.

According to the Marines, after Donquijote tipped them off, they went straight to Tesoro’s Island to capture him. It's not like they have been dealing with him for years or anything.

The rest of the article is garnished with bullshit about how heroic they were in releasing Tesoro’s prisoners and how Carina took control of the ship's operations after the raid.

The article didn't even mention us. Of course, they wouldn't want to admit that we did most of the work and escaped to add insult to injury.

“Against all odds, Guild Tesoro stays at large, in big help to the interference of the revolutionary army during the raid efforts,” Nami read.

“So he managed to escape anyway? What a monster,” Brook said, looking at the newspaper. 

“He doesn’t give up easily,” I said, looking at Tesoro's freshly printed wanted poster.

He hated to be paired with pirates, and now he has a bounty like the rest of us. 

“I'm still unsure what Tesoro was doing out at sea. Was he crazy enough to go out of his territory just to kill us?” Nami asked.

“It wouldn't be the first time someone goes as far just for us,” the idiot cook said.

“You saw that laser attack he used on the marine fleet? If he wanted to sink us, he could have tried,” Nami replied.

The color drained from her face as the prospect dawned on her.

“Maybe he wanted us alive, capture us to make a show once we were back on the ship,” Brook added.

“I don't know which one would be worse, but okay enough of this. What matters is that we escaped that situation, and we can move on,” Nami said, folding the newspaper.

Or maybe he just wanted to recapture me. What Brook said sounds more like him, but the more I think about it, the less wild my idea sounds. After fooling around with him for weeks, could he grow that attached?

My new ability may be stronger than I imagined. 

“Are you okay, Zoro?” Chopper asked.

“Yeah, I'm just glad to be back,” I said.

Regardless of what made Tesoro leave his ship and attack the Marines. One thing is accurate, and it's that his little stunt saved our asses. 

To begin with, he might be the person responsible for getting us into that chaos. But at least he went away doing one good thing. 

I can finally enjoy the sea breeze against my face without the boundaries of his quarters.

“Great! Oh, Before I forget, are you ready for your physical examination?” Chopper said.

“Well, I wanted to train today. Can we do it tomorrow?” I asked to test my luck.

“Come on, Zoro. It's going to be fast. Besides, What if you got any weird sickness under that maniac's care? I need to make sure you are well,” he replied.

Chopper looked at Nami for backup, and she sighed. 

“For every extra day you miss your medical exam, I will add a thousand berries to your debt,” She said.

“Wait, what? Why?” I asked.

“Just take the exam, Zoro. That's final,” she said, folding the newspaper and walking inside.

That woman is the devil.

“And take a shower already, you reek. Wait for me, Nami-chan,” Sanji said, following Nami inside.

Brook got close to me and sniffed the air around me.

“I don't notice anything, but what do I know? I don't have a nose, yohoho,” he said.

“Come on, Chopper. Let's get this over with,” I said, walking to the infirmary. 

He followed along and quickly got my measurements once we got inside. We called it a day after taking some blood and running some exams.

“I will have your results in no time. In the meantime, why don't you go to the training room and try to get back in action? Talksaid eagerly.

I saved myself from an even bigger debt. But I have a raccoon -dog as my trainer. 

Having the rest of the day by myself, I went up to the training room. Damn it, why did Franky put that room so high up? This ladder is killing me. This may count as my workout already. 

It takes me ten minutes to pant on the floor like a dog. It's my first day back; this is enough for now. As my body drifted into sleep, I wished the two months it would take us to reach Wano would go quickly.

My weight would return to normal by then. 

That thought is mixed with dread; what if I'm still fat by then?

What can I do to help against Kaido if I'm getting winded climbing a ladder?

I keep that in mind as my motivation for the next week as I try to keep my workout routine stable and cut down on food. 

Sadly, it was easier said than done. Trying to curve my appetite has only made things worse. The longer I try to cut down, the wilder my hunger gets. 

The thought of stuffing my face with food becomes constant, and it seems like I am losing my mind, especially with this heat going unchecked.

My need for release is still as strong as ever, especially during and after a meal. But with everyone around, it's been a pain to try and get off. 

It feels like I'm in the cage again, with the wildest hunger of my life. Food is at my grasp, but there is no way of having enough, or at least not without getting myself in more trouble.

That's why I'm trying to fall asleep and not go to the kitchen. But the hunger is killing me. My stomach rumbles so loudly I'm sure everyone could hear it if not for Luffy’s snores.

My brain tries to focus on why I shouldn’t leave the quarters. 

But- I need just a piece of Neptunian meat or an onigiri, and that's all. 

I can do it quickly. 

Nobody would care if a single onigiri was missing.

Drool runs down my chin as I imagine all the “single snacks” I could have. My body almost moves on its own as I make my way out of the quarters.

Once in the kitchen, I go to the fridge; the idea of eating just one thing goes out the window immediately. If I'm already risking it, I'll go all the way.

By the end of my raid, the kitchen was half empty, but at least my stomach was satisfied for the first time in days. 

I clean up as best as possible and hurry back to my bed, hoping nobody notices. 

Things turned out fine.

The following day, things were as usual on the ship. Everyone tried to keep themselves busy, not daring to take another fee from Nami.

Chopper is keeping up with his studies of medicine.

Nami updates her maps based on where the crew traveled under Tesoro's command.

I can't be bothered to check what the stupid cook is doing. He’s been avoiding me harder than usual, not that I mind.

Brook composes new music while Luffy dances to the beat inside a cage.

Everyone assumed he was the one who raided the kitchen last night, so they grounded him for the rest of the day. He doesn't seem to mind, so I let it slide, promising myself I won't do this again.

The days passed, and the results of my exams came in. Chopper read my blood values for a while before asking me to step on the scale.

My eyes grew wide as he looked at me happily. 

560 pounds. Instead of losing any weight, I gained ten pounds in a week or so.

“So, Zorro. Would you like to try a new diet?” he asked.

“Chopper, I appreciate the effort, but I'm eating as much as everyone. I'm sure I’ll lose this weight in no time,“ I replied, ignoring the obvious problem.

“I know it's you who steals from the kitchen at night,” he said, side-eyeing me.

All color drained from my body for good. 

“Okay, I might be having a little snack here and there. But-“ 

“We had to stop at port for an emergency refill since the pantry was emptied out yesterday,” he said worried.

“Maybe I've been hungrier than I imagined. Look, this bigger body requires more food to function. I'm just listening to what it's asking of me,” I replied.

“I get it, Zoro. I only want to help you.” 

 “I appreciate it, but trust me, I can deal with it. Besides, I can always count on the best doctor in the world to look after me,” I said with a smile.

“Your compliment won't work with me, you asshole!” He said with the biggest smile in the world. Our doctor is weak to compliments, as always.

My test results came back normal, and with his worries gone, Chopper smiled and jumped off his chair.

That was a close call. I need to cover my tracks better the next time I go to the kitchen. 

What am I saying? I shouldn't be going at all.

With a sigh of defeat, I plop my back on the floor mat as I enter the training room.

My belly roars like an engine, and my dick rises under my belly after I have caught my breath. Fuck, they are never satisfied.

After the rescue mission, I used seawater to remove the dick cage and nipple clamps from my body. The gold breaks into flakes after contact with the water. It was helpful to pay back some of my debt to Nami. Of course, she doesn't need to know where the gold came from.  

But weirdly enough, the golden plug came off of me without having to use the seawater. I momentarily thought about melting it with the rest of the golden flakes. But I'm already desperate for ways to deal with my hunger to start worrying about my leaking ass. 

So, I kept it. It keeps some of my juices in check, and it has been helping me to get just enough stimulation to get off. 

I've been trying to relieve myself in the training room more often than working out. Nobody comes up here anymore, so I play with myself for as long as needed. 

Butt instead of helping me get my mind out of the kitchen, it has only made things worst. I crave food every time I cum, and the longer I try to starve myself, the harder it is for me to cum. 

It goes so bad I'm only managing to cum when I have food in my mouth. The day passes with me trying desperately to cum, but I simply can't seem to push myself beyond the point I need. 

The idea of sneaking into the kitchen again to rub one off is too tempting, but if anyone finds me in one of my nightly binges, I won't be able to show my face again. Not to mention, Nami will charge me for every extra detour we take to restock the pantries.

I try to resist the craving, but the more I try to stay put, the more my head is filled with cured meat, pastries, jam, cheese, bread, and everything in between. 

Okay, I'm doing this quickly, one last time, and afterward, there will be no more nightly escapes.

My feet rush to the kitchen, my mind getting hazy as soon as I open the fridge door. I make a mess of myself eating without a care in the world. My dick tent in my pants at the cheer feeling of fullness, and for a second, I feel back in my element. 

Yes, this is what I needed. It would be better with some sake, but I can fetch some after I'm done with this takoyaki.

“Not even Luffy eats like this,” 

My blood froze as I turned and saw the idiot cook looking down at me with murderous intent. 

“Wait, I can explain it,” I said, stepping away from the fridge. 

“You mean how you emptied us out? again!” He said.

“Be quiet, you idiot. You will wake up the entire ship,” I plead.

“So what? You don't want them seeing you eating our rations like a selfish pig?” He said.

“Maybe I wouldn't be raiding the fridge if you served decent portions, twirl eyebrows,” I said.

Even when I have no ground to stand on, I bite back. His face makes me enrage like no other.

“Don't even try that shit with me, moss ball. You are Lucky Luffy has taken the blame, or else I would have kicked your fat ass already,” He said.

“You wish; I can still bend you like a twig any day,” I say with a smug grin, stepping closer to him.

“I doubt it, fat monkey. The only thing you can bend now is the pizzas at dinner,” He replied.

“At least one of us has an ass; no wonder you are still single,” I replied with a laugh.

At that point, we are clashing foreheads, looking straight into each other's eyes. 

“As if you had any more luck, no woman would look at your flabby arms or- Your man tits and give you a minute of their day,” he said.

“Unlike you, my focus is on getting stronger. And all of this mass is just more power to push around,” I said, pushing my belly against him.

In the crash, I felt something poking against me. As Sanji stepped back, I tried to look down and pinpoint what it was, but he spun around and walked towards the door.

His face turned red as he noticed the situation in his pants.

“Forget it, you are too dumb to get shit. Just don't enter my kitchen again,” he said before exiting the kitchen.

I didn't stop him, taking the free space to finish my meal. He will tell Nami about my nightly fridge raids tomorrow, so I’m ending my binge routine with a bang. 

The following morning came and went, but nothing happened. Nami didn't charge me for the missing food, nor did the idiot cook. 

The most significant change was if the cook had avoided me before. He is downright hiding from me now. Of course, I didn't mind; time without twirling eyebrows is always a blessing. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by his reaction that night. 

I tried to avoid the kitchen, giving him the space he wanted, but also in an ill attempt to stick to one of the diets Chopper offered. 

A single restless night with my belly begging for substance is all it took for me to get back to the kitchen at night.

“How long will you keep this up?” he asked, entering the kitchen while I ate.

I didn't even bother turning back to look at him; I was too busy biting a chunk of cheese.

“I thought that if I didn't rat you out with the rest of the crew, you would stop. But if anything, you just double down,” He said

“Come on, we both know why you haven't said anything. It's for the same reason you have been avoiding me,” I said after stifling a belch and closing the fridge behind me.

“I- I always avoid you, you fat-bound ape,” He replied nervously. 

“Cut the crap, you know what I mean,”

“What do you want me to say? Yes, I'm avoiding you. Ever since you came back, it's been weird. Are you happy now?!” He said.

I thought he would run away again, but he stayed in place, looking at me.

“I don't know what's going on, okay? It's just- you are driving me up the walls harder than before. I'm trying not to make anything of it, but I get like- like that night, whenever you are close. And that goddamn foul smell of yours, would it kill you to shower daily?” he said, holding his temple. 

“I know how you feel; it happened to me as well. Before I mean,” I reply.

He looks puzzled at me like he wants to ask when, but he never does.

“Well, it doesn't matter. Whatever is going on, there is nothing we can do about it. Just don't ransack the kitchen again, for fuck sake,” He said. 

He rubbed his head, looking down and waiting for my next move. I can bet he is as desperate as me for action but won't ask for it. 

I'm not any better, though. Even with the need for release driving me insane, just the idea of messing around with this idiot makes my stomach turn. 

But let's be honest, I already got fucked by a gold-obsessed egocentric maniac. My standards can only improve from here. 

Gathering all my determination, I swallowed my hatred for this prick and asked:

“What if there is something we could do about it?”

Taking a step forward, I waited for him to reply. He looks at me weirdly but stays in place while I grab his shoulder. 

“You are the most irritating, distracted pervert I have met in my life,” I said.

“How is that supposed to help, Moss ball?” he replied, squinting his eyes at me.

“Let me finish. You might be the most idiotic of virgins, but as men, only we can help each other in this situation,” I added.

He looked at me with a shocked expression as I continued.

“I scratch your back, and you scratch mine,” I said.

“You are no Nami-chwan! Why would I do something like that with you?!” he said, stepping forward.

“Is anybody else offering shit to you? Pfft, I do not know why I'm bothering trying with you. You are such a pervert; you mighty just bust a nut by rubbing my ass,” I said mockingly, stepping closer.

 “While you stuff your face, I learned every technique to please a woman. Your lazy ass wouldn't stand a chance,” he replied.

“Learn how? by reading some magazines? Yeah, you must have learned a lot,” I said, pushing my belly against him. 

We stayed in silence for a second; I could hear my heartbeat as he looked at me, and for a second, I doubted myself for doing this. But I could feel him poking the base of my belly like clockwork; this fuckling pervert never changes. 

“Once. We can do this just once, and when I show you how things are done. We go back to hating one another,” he said.

“I wouldn't have it any other way,” I replied.

At first, the idiot cook looks at me nervously as he slowly removes his clothes. His face is red when I let my pants drop to the floor, and he sees my whole body naked.

And just like that, the floodgates were open; his hands went for my body without hesitation. He plays with them, mesmerized, stopping just to flicker my nips.

“You are so soft, and these are so plump,” he said before teasing my nipples.

“Want a taste?” I asked.

With a grin, I grab his head and push it towards my chest. He struggles for a second, but when his face touches my skin, he stops fighting it. His tongue grasps my nipple, and I hold a whimper. 

I can feel his fingers sink against my butt cheeks while his mouth teases my chest. His tiny body struggles to wrap around me, and I think the sheer power of this size.

The enormity of my body blinds anything that he is doing under my chest. Every touch and grasp runs electricity through my spine, and that feeling strengthens with every pound I gain. Even now, trying to lose weight, I can't deny how much I have grown fond of what it feels like to carry all this. 

“Let's go to the main course; you had enough fun there,” I said, pushing him off my chest. 

“What are you-?” 

my pants drop to the floor, and I see him lose more blood from his nose. 

“I thought you wanted to show me how it's done? Don't tell me you thought I would be satisfied with some tit play and call it a night. I need more than that,” I said, turning around and mashing my ass against his groin. 

He lets out a low moan as he grinds against my ass, his body trapped between the kitchen wall and my body.

“Fuck, my pants are ruined; why are you leaking so much from there?” he said, pushing me away to remove his clothes. 

“You haven't seen half of it,” I said, taking out the golden plug. 

The smell of the liquid hits him even at a distance, and he moves closer with a longing look. 

He grabs my asscheeks and spreads them apart, letting the flow of juice grow. His fingers tease around my hole before bringing them to his face. The freaky bastard wanted to act all stuffy, and now he can't get enough of my scent.

For a minute, he continues to tease my entrance, and while I enjoy the low current it sent, I need a dick in me, and I need it now. 

“Come on, are you waiting for an invitation?” I said.

“Don't hurry me. This is the weirdest thing I have done,” he replied.

“I have seen you doing worse, but if you are too cold feet to do it, I will take the lead,” I said, pushing back on him. 

He moans while I grind my butt against him, finally getting his dick in line with my hole. 

“You are a brute!” he said.

“You are the one moaning like a virgin, so I wouldn't be complaining if I were you,” I said before pushing back and getting his full size in. 

The pure pleasure of being filled gets me blinded. It's not as big as that golden fucker, but I can make it work. 

The pervert cook stands still, his dick hard as steel, and I start to move. 

“Wait, don't move yet,” he begged.

“I thought this was the weirdest thing you have done. Or are you double-guessing now?”

“I’m close,”

“What? You just got in. What an amateur. No wonder you are still single,” I said, pulling back and smashing back on him. 

“Wait!” he begged before he cums inside of me.

He pants, looking to the floor in pure embarrassment while I take a laugh. 

“Were you looking to do more of this with me, then? Don't worry. I won't be satisfied with your early shot. We are not finishing until I am drained,” I said.

I move in front of the fridge, and he silently follows me. 

“While you get the hang of things, be helpful and get me a snack,” I said, sitting on the floor beside the fridge. 

He looked reluctantly at the fridge and me for a solid minute before his hands fetched an apple and shoved it in my mouth.

“That's what I’m talking about, now get in. We don't have all night,” I said between mouthfuls of apple. 

He grabbed my legs and slowly got inside of me. His movements were slow and erratic, like a wild animal taking its first steps. The attempt was cute, but I needed something powerful to enjoy it. 

“Come on, is that all you have?” I teased him.

His eyes fired up, and his bucking sped up slightly as he got used to the motion. My body jiggles with each pump of his dick; my belly smashes between my legs and chest like a pendulum driving us both into a deeper heat. 

The pervert cook got the hang of things, grabbing everything in the fridge and feeding it to me without care for speed or quantities. 

A whole bowl of pasta, chicken drumsticks, custard for pastries—everything was fair game while we continued our session.

My ass makes a puddle that splashes as we move; the sound is low and quick like the slaps of my belly against my legs or chest. 

I let out a satisfying belch when my belly is packed to the brim. 

“Yes, I'm close. Keep going, twirly eyebrows. I know you can do more than that!” I said.

The feeling of a full belly takes me back; it's an overwhelming sensation I can't shake off my memory or get enough of. Rivaled only by the spot his dick is hitting, having these two forces wrecking me is all I wanted for the last few days. 

I need to lose all of this weight, so I better enjoy the pleasure the extra pounds give me now. 

Sanji drives into me one last time, his dick hits that gold spot inside me, and I feel my ass clench around him. A flash of pleasure floods my brain, and my ass cums like there is no tomorrow. 

I collapse on the kitchen floor, and we try to catch our breath. 

“Am I just into big tits and plum ass?” he said to himself. 

“Don't think so much about it. You like what you like, and that's that,” I said.

We stayed there basking in the afterglow, but then I remembered who lay beside me.

“Okay, enough of this; I'm going back to bed,” I said.

“Please shower before going to the quarters,” he replied, standing up.

“Fine, but you better make a good breakfast tomorrow to pay me for this.”

I tried to stand up on my own, but it was taking too long.

“Give me a hand; I don't feel my legs,” I said.

Yes, needing the help of the no-longer-a-virgin cook is embarrassing, but we just had sex in the kitchen floor. Embarrassment with him has a different threshold.

After Sanji helped me get back on my feet, we closed the fridge and slowly left the kitchen. 

“I will lead the way. I know you will get lost even on the way to the shower,” he said.

“I can find my way to the showers,” I said, walking away.

“That's the wrong way. Just follow me, you muscle brain,”

I reluctantly agreed.

“Let's never do this again, please,” he said.

“Of course,” I replied.

We kept fucking on a nightly basis. 

We became worried that someone would find us in the kitchen mid-session, so early on, we decided to carry the loot up to the training room and fuck there for hours on end. 

I realized our deal seemed to affect the pervert cook as the days went on.

“You know, I think something is going on with Sanji,” Nami said.

“How so?” I replied.

Sanji climbed the stairs to the garden, where we were talking. He had a big smile painted on his face as he placed two dishes in front of us.

“Nami-chwan, here is my famous parfait recipe, just for you,” Sanji said.

I took the second parfait and tasted the sweet treat melt in my mouth. He just looked at me. 

“I had some leftovers. I'm just giving them to you; don't throw them away, okay?!” he said.

I couldn't care less for a reason; I was happy to have something to munch on. 

“This is good. Bringing more next time,” I replied. 

He ignored my reply and moved downstairs, most likely to cook dinner.

“See?” Nami said.

“What? he brought dessert,” I replied, finishing my treat.

“And since when did Sanji make treats for anyone but Robin and me?” She added.

“Maybe he is in a good mood?” I replied.

“Maybe, but I can't shake the feeling that something is going on. He’s been acting more- normal,” she said.

“Shouldn't you be happy he is not asking to marry you at every hour?” I added.

“Its been a delightful upgrade, but just to be sure, I will get Chopper to check on him; a parasite or something could infect him,”

“Your choice. I wouldn't find a solution to a good thing,” I thought.

Later the same day, Sanji returned with another snack before dinner. Like Tesoro, twirl eyebrows slowly became more agreeable to my requests.

“You are an eating machine, you know, right? Luffy eats enough for fifteen people on a regular day, but somehow, you manage to eat sufficient for twenty when you are not so hungry,” He said while cooking dinner. 

I spend more time in the kitchen now, so I can taste-test whatever the pervert is doing. I also have easy access to the pantry. 

“When I'm not so hungry? By the way, all this food talk has opened my appetite. Can you get me something going?” I replied, rubbing my belly.

“At least be useful and help me with something,” he said. 

“Why do I have to help? Just give him a sandwich or something,” I replied.

He sighed and started on a sandwich with lots of everything. He is a quick learner and realizes that a grilled cheese won't do for my third snack of the day. 

“You are running me dry,” the cook said after cumming on me for the third time that night. 

“What, running out of stamina already?” I laughed.

“No, idiot. I’m talking about the pantry. We are a day away from the next port, but you ate way more than I anticipated. We might run out before that,” he said.

Our nightly sessions left a big dent in the pantry. Sanji eased the damage by buying extra provisions with his money, but my appetite has been growing to match the extra food supply. 

“I guess tomorrow will be a fishing day with the crew,” I said.

We are ready to gather our things and clean up when something moves outside. 

Sanji looks at me before rushing to his feet and looking outside. 

“Did someone see us?” I asked.

“I can't tell; there is a lot of fog outside. Cleanup, we have to get out of here,” 

“Who was that?” I asked.

“How would I know you dumbass? Anyone could find us here,” he replied, leaving the room.

“What was I thinking? What if it was Nami-chwan? Please, my angel, forgive me,” He said as we climbed down the ladder from the training room. 

“Shut up,” I hissed at him. 

Once we both got down, he took the lead and walked towards the quarters. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, and I crashed against his back. 

“What the matter? Keep going,” I said. 

“Get down; we are getting raided,” he said.

Looking up through the fog, I finally noticed a massive ship beside ours. Pirates climbed down from the ship and onto our deck in ropes. 

“We have to stop them before the rest of the crew wakes up and finds us like this. I'm not looking forward to explaining how the fridge emptied itself again,” Sanji said.

“Right, let's kick their asses,” I said, cracking my knuckles.

“Wait, you are a brute. Your fighting will wake everyone up. I will subdue the pirates that are on our deck, and you should get in their ship and-”

“And raid them back; that way, we can restock our kitchen. What's your first good idea, stupid prince,” I replied.

“I mean, yes, but that's not what you should focus on. Whatever, just get rid of them,” Sanji said before rushing to the main deck.

Grabbing a rope, I climb the enemy ship arduously. I'm getting exhausted, and I'm not even halfway through, but if I let go, I would have to start up from scratch, and I would rather die. So, I focus on all the food these bastards must have and muster the energy to keep going. 

Once on their deck, I reach for my swords. Thankfully, I could take them with me during the rescue mission. 

A group of grunts walk around the ship's main deck a few meters in front of me. I am about to ambush them, but I'm still struggling to reach for my swords. Since when are they so far away? 

When I finally get a hold of them, I rush to attack, but I get winded, and I know my slash will be weaker. Damn it, I should have practiced before. In my tired state, I slump forward, and I lose balance. I try to steady myself, and in that moment, an idea comes to me. 

I might be slower, and my legs quickly tire, but this body has advantages. It carries a lot of momentum as it moves.

Grounding myself and putting all my weight into my next move, I swing my hips to fire my attack.

“Sanjuroku Pound Ho,” I say under my breath.

A massive air slash flies towards the man on the deck and knocks them out. Yes, I still have it. After that, I lazily made my way through a hoard of pirates using my newfound power. Either throwing air slashes their way or smashing them against walls with my weight. 

I can't stop smiling, knowing these little shrimp are the first to taste my new and improved skills. Some of them try to warn me before moving forward, but my belly or sword crashes against them before I learn anything relevant. 

I made my way to the captain's room. Like the rest of his crew, the man was a little runt. 

“How did you get here? My guards should have stopped you!” he said.

“They were easy to deal with now; where is the kitchen? Pipsqueak,” I said, pushing myself against him.  

The man trembles in fear and guides me to their pantry. Once we get there, I knock him out cold and inspect the bounty. 

After all that exercise, my belly rumbles. I should send this back to the Sunny, but with most of the enemy ship out of commission, I can sit back, relax, and eat to my heart's content. After all, I only have to restock the fridge.

My mind gets so focused on glutting myself out that I don't feel the passing of time. I would have taken everything in their pantry without Sanji coming onto the ship to wake me from my hunger-induced stupor. 

Against my demanding gut, we moved the rest of their food and treasure to the ship and tied them up to prevent them from following us. 

“That was the last box. I think we will be covered for a few days with this,” Sanji said, wiping sweat from his face.

“Yeah, thankfully, nobody woke up either,” I replied. 

After that night, Sanji made an extra effort to ensure I didn't eat the entire ship's stock in a single night, and our feasts continued. 

While my need for food and sex was covered, there were people less than thrilled with the effect it had on my waistline. 

“Why did you make those mochi’s for Zoro?” Nami asked.

“It was an exciting challenge; I’ve never heard of mochi that could last a whole day. But don't worry, my darling; you do not have to be jealous of that moss-ball. I will make a whole batch just for you,” Sanji replied.

I was taking a nap on deck for a change when their banter upstairs woke me up. 

“No thanks, and that's not the problem! You know he is trying to lose the weight Tesoro forced on him, but you keep enabling his overeating,” Nami said. 

“I'm sorry, you are right. I don't know why I keep doing that,” Sanji replied.

“Please, don’t spoil him any further. And if you do that, I could reward you with a little kiss,” Nami said.

I can hear that perverted idiot melting from here. I guess that will be the end of my supply of food. Thankfully, we are halfway through the trip to Wano. After just one more month of waiting, I will be able to eat whatever I want in a new country.

To my surprise, that night, Sanji was right at my bedside, asking me to hook up again with the regular stop in the kitchen. 

“I didn't like training here. It always smelled of a muscled-brained monkey, but I don't mind as much now,” he said as we entered the training room with our loot of food.

“I wonder why,” I said with a laugh.

Not many people used the training room even before my kidnapping. Brook used to come to meditate with me, which was just another excuse to nap together. 

After he saw Sanji dropping some sandwiches at the training room, he’s been showing up now and then to hang out. He doesn't seem to mind my lack of training and constant eating, so I let him stay.

“I don't see the problem. You just have big bones, Yohohoho,” he would say.

He also lies to cover my ass every so often. That's the type of man our musician is.

“Ha, I thought you would cut me off with what Nami told you today,” I said, taking a bite from a pastry.

“She and Chopper have been telling me to put you on a diet for a while now,” he replied.

“I assumed this was the first time it happened; why haven't you?”

“If you wanted to lose weight, you would have already done it,” he said, looking at me teasingly. 

“Hey, I'm trying to-” 

“Cut me that crap; I know you don't want to talk about whatever got you like this in the first place. Regardless, you seem to like it enough to come here with me every night. Who cares if you are bigger? As long as you keep doing your job, nobody can tell you shit,” He said, lighting a cigarette. 

I only nod and continue to gather food for our session.

The following week passed, and my mind stayed on what Sanji said that night. He made it seem as if I had already made up my mind. 

For a long time, I blamed Tesoro for my current body. I couldn't wait to get out of his clutches and finally lose all this weight. But a month after leaving him, I kept doing the same things that had brought me to this size. 

The thing is, I don't regret those moments. Eating to the point of feeling like blowing up, having so much sex I can't think straight for an hour afterward, and playing with my belly while nobody looks. Is it too weird that I find this appealing? 

The more I think about it, the more I accept that I enjoy it. That life is better now as a fatass. But that comes with the bitter taste of knowing he made something, anything really, better.  

I push the idea out of my head and focus on what's in front of me now. 

We are less than a month away from getting into Wano, so I have to figure out a way to be useful to the team before that. 

The following day, Nami tends to her garden of tangerine trees.

Sanji is in the kitchen making Lunch.

Chopper Luffy and Brook are fishing on the other end of the deck.

Meanwhile, I bask in the sun, enjoying another calm, serene day. Something grabs me by the waist, and I feel my body being lifted off the floor. Opening my eyes, I see a set of golden hands the size of my full body flying across the ocean, carrying me god knows where at a horrifying speed.

When they stop, the Sunnyy is still in view. The next thing I see is a ship a bit smaller than ours, decorated in golden decorations from top to bottom. And without touching the damn thing, I know who is responsible for this.

In the middle of the ship is Tesoro, standing tall with a wide smile.

“Welcome back, Zoro; I've been looking forward to seeing you again,” He said happily.

There goes my calm and serene day.

<< First Chapter / <Previous Chapter /

[waty-art]

Stranger Danger

Before you read this I would just like to let you know that this more of a modern au fanfic. Also small disclaimer, this contains a scene with attempted kidnapping just in case you are uncomfortable with that, but please know this is entirely fictional! thank you so much.

Halloween was always a holiday that the brothers looked forward to, but as they got older of course the idea of ​​​​walking around a dark neighborhood on a night where no one could tell who was who, became less exciting.

An incident happened on this holiday night that made the Hardy boy's not look forward for the next time Halloween came around. Joe was only 10 years old and Frank was 12, and the two were currently walking down their neighborhood's street with their father Fenton Hardy.

It was a chilly night in Bay port, but it wasn't too cold. The Boys had refused to wear a jacket, too determined to show off their costumes.

Frank's costume resembled a doctor with his oversized lab coat, and he even had a fake stethoscope to make it more realistic.

Joe's costume was bound to be one of his favorite things from him to watch on tv, a cowboy. He had the signature hat for all western heroes, a brown leather vest and a plastic gun hanging on his hip, which did not come out of its holster, due to it being one piece.

“I bet I can get more candy than you can tonight!” Joe challenged cheerfully as he swung his candy bag and strode down the sidewalk with his brother and father. "Why does everything have to be a competition with you?" Frank sighed.

“Because, I'm good at winning!” Joe shot back with a teasing grin.

Frank only frowned at him in response. The first house they went to was their friend Chet Morton's house.

Chet's father opened the door to find the three Hardys and laughed.

“Your costumes suit you.” Chet's father chuckled as he held out a bowl of candy to the brothers.

Frank and Joe's eyes sparkled when they looked into the bowl, but their awe ended when Chet's father stated they could only take one.

Fenton laughed heartily as he conversed with Chet's father, the two were just as good friends as their boy's were with each other.

While they conversed tricker treaters came and passed, but Frank and Joe were stuck listening to the two men jaw away. The two tried to ask their father to leave without being rude but whenever Joe would tap his father, Fenton would tell him to be patient and polite.

“We're never gonna get out of here!” Joe exclaimed under his breath. “It'll be our bedtime and we'll only have one measly piece of candy to show for it!”

Frank was just as disappointed, but he remained quiet. “C'mon, we're getting outta here.” Joe ordered as he grabbed his brother's hand and began to sneakily drag him away from the front porch.

Frank suddenly protested once they reached the sidewalk. “Wait! Aren't we not supposed to go out alone?“ Frank asked hesitantly.

Joe only rolled his eyes and retorted. “We aren't toddlers any more, and I'm pretty sure we'll be fine. Plus if dad gets mad I'll take all the blame.”

“you better.” Frank warned seriously.

Joe laughed and pulled his brother with him to go to the next house

“Trick or treat!” Frank and Joe said in unison as the door to the house opened slowly.

There stood a man in his early 40s with messy brownish-grey hair and stubble on his face. He stood there for a few seconds, just staring at the two boys, causing Frank to drop his small smile in confusion. Joe on the other hand narrowed his eyes, looking the man up in down with suspicion.

“Ah- hello boys, don’t you two look nice tonight.” The man complimented, but it somehow sounded off to the brothers. “Um, my candy is in the kitchen, why don’t you come inside and get it?”

Now, that was a big red flag. Frank’s eyes widened, while Joe glared at the man.

The middle aged man suddenly realized the kids were a lot smarter than they looked.

“Damn it!” The man growled under his breath, his expression changing in an instant into anger and desperation.

Joe quickly grasped Frank’s hand in his and tried to race down the porch steps, but it was too late. The man held Frank’s arm in a death grip, pulling him towards the open door.

Joe was screaming and panicking, trying to think what his father would do in this situation. That’s when he just decided to just do something, anything! Joe screamed and shouted at the top of his lungs for help while he and Frank were being dragged into the man’s house.

Joe and Frank fought, kicking, biting, and screaming, but the man would not let go. Joe and Frank knew the second the door to this house closed, they would never be found again. This is why when The man kicked the door shut, tears were forming in Frank’s and Joe’s frightened eyes, but both refused to let them spill. Joe couldn’t take it anymore, he had to find a way out of here!

“Let us go you bastard!” Joe spat vehemently. If they weren’t in the situation they were in Frank would’ve scolded Joe for his vocabulary, but instead Frank was determined to pull himself free from the man’s grasp.

“Neither of you are leaving this place!” The man shot back, yanking the boys towards what Joe assumed was the basement door.

Frank was on the verge of sobbing and Joe was panicking like crazy, as the two to struggled in vain. Suddenly someone was pounding rapidly on the front door. “Bam, bam, bam!” Everyone in the room froze.

“Open up you damned bastard! If you so much as touch my boys I’ll-“ came a furious and familiar voice from behind the door, it was muffled, but they still heard it.

The boys began screaming for their father, knowing he was on the other side of the door, but unfortunately this caused the man to snap. He impulsively smacked a screaming Frank in the face hard.

Joe stopped struggling and stared at his brother’s now red cheek, the tears in Frank’s eyes finally spilling down his face as he tried to hold back a choked sob. Joe saw red, and lost it. The blonde lunged at the man scratching hand biting the arm that held him in an iron grip.

The man let out shouts of pain as he tried to shake a feral Joe off, completely letting go of Frank in the process. Frank took this opportunity to rush to the front door of the house and yank it open, while Joe raised his leg and kicked the man where it hurts.

The man let out a gasp of pain and fell to the floor, only to have a fist smash into his face roughly. There stood Fenton Hardy, who had just given him a black eye that would definitely form on his face soon.

Fenton pierced the man with a murderous glare as he gripped the messy-haired man by the collar of his shirt. “I will kill you you son of a bitch!” Fenton growled, raising his fist to strike the man in the face again, but just then, a hand tugged violently on his trench coat.

It was Joe, who stood next to him with a furious expression, and what he said surprised Fenton.

“Dad, not now!” Joe demanded angrily. Fenton looked behind him to see Frank staring at the scene in fright, his tear stained face etched with horror. Fenton suddenly realized that Frank was not able to handle much more. Just then four officers came rushing into the house, squad car blaring it’s sirens loudly outside.

“Hardy! We’re here! Is everyone ok?” One officer asked in concern, while the others raced towards Fenton and the man in pain.

Fenton let go of the man, letting him fall to the floor and allowing the cops to drag the man out of the house to the awaiting squad car. Fenton then looked down to say something to Joe, but he was missing from where he was a second ago. Fenton turned around to find Joe hugging Frank tightly in his arms, and Frank trying his best not to let anyone see that he was crying. Frank had always been more sensitive than his younger sibling, but hated to show it.

Of course Joe knew this, so Fenton watched as Joe took off his cowboy hat, which had by now fallen off his head and only stayed on him because of the draw string, and placed it on Franks head.

Joe pulled it down enough to hide his brother’s face, and once he was satisfied he looked to Fenton. “Dad, when can we go home?” Fenton was shocked first of all that Joe was acting so calm for what had just happened, but he knew that his youngest was most likely shaken to his core and refused to show it. Unfortunately, Fenton was so overcome with emotions that he decided to scold his children before anything else.

“What on earth were you two thinking? How could you two just leave? Of all the horrible ideas!” Fenton ranted, his voice growing in volume as he made his way over to the boys. “Frank! What is wrong with you? You should know better, you’re the oldest! I’m holding you responsible for this!” Fenton hadn’t noticed, but he directed his shouting at Frank, who was most likely already blaming himself for the whole thing. Fenton then reached his hands out to grab Frank in frustration, overtaken by the anxiety and fear he had felt when he heard their screams before they were pulled in the house.

Instantly Joe stepped in between his father and brother, stretching his arms out on either side to let Fenton know that he wasn’t going to let his father get any closer to Frank.

Fenton stared incredulously at Joe who only glowered angrily up at his dad, keeping his protective stance in front of his brother who was looking at his father with a terrified expression.

“Leave him alone dad, it’s not Frank’s fault!” Joe yelled harshly. “It was my fault, I told him it was ok to leave! Yell at me. Punish me!”

Frank could only look up at his father in fear from behind his brother, which is when Fenton noticed the large red mark on Frank’s face that was beginning to swell.

Fenton Hardy suddenly realized he had frightened his already traumatized child and knelt down to Frank and Joe’s level with a remorseful expression.

“I-I’m sorry boys, I wasn’t thinking straight…” Fenton apologized, but didn’t try and push his luck by trying to reach for Frank again, even though he was going to do it in a more gentle way.

The anger in Joe’s face didn’t leave when Fenton apologized, but he relaxed his stance, turning to look at Frank, his eyes slightly softening. “It’s ok Frank, we’re safe now.” Joe smiled softly as he patted his brother’s head, being more gentle than Fenton had ever seen Joe.

Frank only nodded firmly in response, quickly drying the tears he had shed so he could regain some dignity. Fenton quietly ushered the boys out of the house that they might not have ever left, and was met with a couple of police officers for questioning. Fenton answered questions as well as Frank and Joe while the black-haired Hardy was getting checked over by the EMT “Lastly, which one of you, um gave the attacker the injuries?” The Officer questioned Fenton who stood next to his boys.

Frank sat on the edge of the back of the ambulance with Joe watching over the way the EMT examined Frank’s cheek which had now swelled a bit. “Well I gave him a solid punch but…” Fenton started, but was interrupted by the youngest Hardy.

“I did.” Joe admitted seriously, then turned to stare at the officer. “was that man in a lot of pain?”

“Yes, why do you ask?” The officer replied in confusion.

“I just wanted to make sure I really hurt him.” Joe spat sharply, then turned back to watching over Frank.

Fenton stared at his son, a little stunned and still not able to believe how protective Joe had become despite being the younger sibling.

“I’m sorry, is that all?” Fenton asked the officer politely, but he couldn’t bring himself to add a smile, not after what had happened.

The officer excused himself and Fenton knew it was time to bring the boys home.

Once Fenton and the boy’s arrived at their home, their mother came bounding out the door. Apparently the officers had let her know by phone what had happened. The boys were fussed over by their mother who cried as she held them close to her.

Finally, the boys were in their bedroom as the parents talked about the night’s happenings. Fenton explained the situation to Laura, while Joe and Frank were supposed to be asleep.

Joe lay wide awake, laying on his side and watching his brother who was turned away from him on his own bed. Joe couldn’t go to sleep like his father ordered, so he quietly slipped out from under his covers , let his feet hit the floor gently, and stealthily crossed the space between him and his brother who faced away from him laying on his side.

“Frank…” Joe called softly.

Frank didn’t answer, so Joe climbed into his brother’s bed. Once he was settled under the covers, he laid down and turned to wrap his arm around Frank. Joe felt Frank relax into the hold, until Frank turned onto his other side to face Joe. Frank’s face was tear stained and held sadness in its features as he looked at Joe with big brown eyes that made the blonde’s heart ache. “Joe…” Frank spoke, his voice a little groggy from crying so much.

“yeah?”

“I-I’m so sorry!” Frank cried in a whisper, latching onto Joe, hugging his brother as if he would float away if he let go.

Joe’s eyes widened for a second, then he relaxed and hugged his brother back.

“Don’t apologize you idiot, you did nothing wrong. It was my fault.” Joe scolded softly, but Frank wasn’t convinced. “B-but I’m supposed to be responsible because I’m the oldest, and I couldn’t do anythi-!” Frank countered woefully, but Joe was having none of it.

“Frank, is this because of what dad said? Because if it is than you should just forget about it. Dad didn’t realize what he was doing.” Joe stated while rolling his eyes.

Frank nodded and Joe sighed.

“Listen Frank, not all siblings are the same. We don’t always follow the “big brother little brother” stereotype that people expect. Some are different, because…well that’s just how it is. You’re definitely taller and bigger than I am, but you’re way more sensitive.” Joe explained, trying to sound as smart as he could so he could convince his brother.

“What?” Frank suddenly interjected indignantly, pushing himself up on his elbow. “I am not sensitive!”

Joe tried hard to hold in his laughter, he really did, but it all came tumbling out when Frank gave him a look that Frank had thought was intimidating. Joe giggled and wheezed at Frank who kept trying to prove that he wasn’t sensitive only to shut up when he couldn’t find any evidence in his own head.

Fenton and Laura had finally finished their loud “discussion” and went upstairs to check on the boys. When Fenton opened the door to the Boys’ shared bedroom, and saw the two cuddled against each other with Joe’s arm thrown over his brother’s side, he smiled. He knew the two of them were close ever since they were little toddlers, but it really hit him that night that the two were attached to one another and weren’t like other siblings…that’s because they were his sons, the Hardy boys.

There is a second part which is in the future, and I might post it if this one does well.

thank you all so much for reading! So sorry if this was confusing or just plain bad. This is my first time posting a fic🥲

[sunset-a-story]

I have so many nice messages and asks--thank you for that! they've been such bright moments to see those pop up and I'm going to finally get back to today as a treat because, y'all, the last couple of days have been a lot fighting to get my brother-in-law proper care. I just need to have a rant post. (cw: mental health, American healthcare bullshit, threats of harm/SI)

We spent the last few days trying to get several hospitals to take us seriously to take care of my BiL. He's presenting as psychotic and two hospitals dismissed it as mental health and sent him away. He has NEVER behaved this way. One hospital kept him because he was threatening to harm himself and others. They held him for 12 hours and then discharged him because the doctor said he'd been calm since her shift started: from 3am to 6am. I'm also pretty calm at 3am. wtf. This is a man who used to work hazmat for the us military, combat vet, he works at ROTC, he took on parenting his best friend's children when needed. He's goofy but he's competent. They discharged him despite him not being able to identify numbers or colors. when asked what season it was he said, "Monday." He was babbling nonsense, banging on things with nothing behind his eyes, and couldn't keep his tongue in his mouth. He wasn't the man I know. He was like a toddler. And he was dangerous. Tricking him into getting into the car and driving with him in the car 45min to get him across the border to another state with a better hospital system was terrifying. If he had an episode, we could have crashed. I had pepper spray in my pocket the whole ride. Here's the thing. He had spinal surgery 11 days ago during which there was a spinal fluid leak that the surgeons couldn't find to close. He went back to the hospital with headaches 3 times and they kept sending him home saying it would resolve on its own.

But when he presented to hospitals like this, no one would listen to us begging them to CT his brain, check intracranial pressure, or check for infection. We were brushed off.

Once we got to a neighboring state, between me not backing down and my husband throwing his mental health care license around in a way that made him super uncomfortable, they finally looked for a medical cause. (Mental health IS medical but the ERs don't treat it that way.) He's now being treated for what they believe is an infection that spread to his brain. But we spent 12 hours yesterday trying to keep calm even when he didn't know who we were and then listening to him scream and fight when we couldn't. My husband was a hero. There's so much more but I'm tired. We're exhausted, physically and emotionally. We're still worried sick, waiting to hear if the antibiotics are helping. I'm furious with the medical system. I just hope he will be okay and recover to someone I've known for 20 years.

So thanks for listening to me rant and for all the lovely unrelated messages. I'm so excited to answer things and get my mind off of this for a little while.

[glapplebloom]

Forever Filly for everyone else...

Rarity seems to be at her best. While the surprising return of Sassy Saddles is panicking, Rarity is calm and collected. That all changes when she finds an old picture of herself with Sweetie Belle having fun. She wonders how long it has been since the two just had fun together. While the show doesn’t give us an answer, the last time the two shared the screen together was 12 episodes ago in “The Fault in Our Cutie Marks”. And interacting was last seen in “The Cart Before the Ponies”, 17 episodes ago. So it’s been a while.

With Rarity realizing how long it has been since she hung out with Sweetie Belle, her midlife crisis begins. She breaks down and begins crying but thanks to Sassy Saddles’ encouragement she decides to go to Ponyville to hang out with Sweetie Belle once more. Don’t worry, according to Sassy most of the work is done. Which I guess leaves the stuff Saddy is solely responsible for. And looking it seems to mostly be cleaning up and relabeling all of her binder. And the Eternal Elegance Empire Silhouette evening gown, which I am pretty sure could wait or be transferred to fellow Fashionista who works for Rarity Coco.

So what is Sweetie doing while Rarity is panicking? She and the Crusaders are knocking their business out of the park! They just successfully gave a kid a Cutie Mark and are so on mark Sweetie predicted Zipporwhill was going to knock just on schedule. With the three of them, this should be an easy layup. But Rarity shows up saying she plans to spend the day with Sweetie. While Sweetie was reluctant, the other girls figured they could handle it. Spoilers, they can’t. Why is that? Because these two plots are one and the same.

Rarity/Zipporwhill wants to reconnect with her little sister/dog. They try to do that by doing all the old things they liked to do when they were younger. But Rarity/Zipporwhill don’t realize that Sweetie Belle/Ripley has grown older. They’re not the young thing they were so their interests and tastes change. And the more they keep trying to do the old stuff, the more they’re going to resent it. And this storyline breaks off when Sweetie Belle goes off on Rarity.

She couldn’t take it anymore so she gave Rarity a piece of her mind. Rarity is upset with this and wanted to give Sweetie a piece of her mind as well, but refused to do so when she was with the other. That’s because during her time with Rarity Sweetie figured out the problem: Zipporwhill is treating Ripley like a puppy when he’s a fully grown dog. Since he’s older, he can’t keep playing with the same stuff he did as a puppy.

You don't still play with the same toys from when you were a foal, do you?

Technically I don’t, but that’s because I was tricked into giving away my Construction Brick Toy collection. Made up for that over the years.

With Rarity overhearing Sweetie’s explanation, she realizes that the same thing was happening with her. She knew Sweetie grew but when the realization that the last time they did those things together was going to be the last time they were going to do those things together got to Rarity. Sweetie accepts the apology, Zipporwhill plays fetch with a stick making Ripley happy and with Sweetie’s suggestion the two enjoy a big sundae.

Overall, a great episode. Definitely showing the highlight of changes when you were young to when you’re older. And just because you couldn’t do the things you used to do together anymore doesn’t mean there are new things to do. And we’ll see the two interacting with each other one more time in Campfire Tales later this season. Speaking of which, I do think this is a great showing of just how far along Sweetie came.

When we first saw her, she was the annoying little sister who had good intentions and wanted to be like Rarity. But as the show went on we noticed Sweetie changing. She began to argue with Rarity. Became angry with Rarity. The more she showed up the more she wanted to become her own person. And after earning her Cutie Mark did so. And this episode is the culmination of her development from kid to young adult. Or possibly pre-teen. I’m terrible with age.

Click here for the original review and how it fits in GLAB Canon.

[mrevaunit42]

4. He is a playful prankster. He loves pulling tricks and pranks ala fae creature than any malicious intent.

5. He is an absolute showoff. He loves to have an audience and crowd whenever he solves a case and will absolutely fucking do it in the most dramatic way possible. Watson is on record having said that Holmes would’ve been a very talented actor.

6. He is not stingy. yes he will take cases from anywhere if they intrigue him and he’s more likely to help those down and out than rich people but if rich people offer a huge amount of money, he will not correct them. He will take the damn money with a smile.

7. He has unsolved cases, many of which are heavily implied supernatural in nature. Waston notes it was less his skill and more that there was no clues or there was no mundane reason behind the case. So yes you can and totally should give him supernatural cases and make it fun!

8. He is canonically the dumber Holmes. His brother Mycroft, who works for the government, is basically a supercomputer of the early 20th century. Sherlock has given him details of a case time and time again only for Mycroft, who has never even seen or heard of the crime scene, correctly and 100% accurately guessed what happened. Mycroft is just very lazy and hates the physical effort of detective work. 

9. On that note, Holmes is not a super genius, he is a selective genius. He believes people should specialize their knowledge. If it isn’t related to crime in anyway he doesn’t know it. No knowledge of the solar system, non poisonous plants *etc etc* That’s why Watson as a doctor is a perfect partner for him.

10. He is heavily coded as ace. While Watson routinely will be awestruck or admire a woman’s appearance, Holmes doesn’t care at all. He’s very much attracted to intelligence which is why Irene tends to be treated as his love interest because she is one of a handful of people to outsmart him and the only woman to do so.

11. To credit to the point above, he is more than likely to be ADHD. He only does drugs when he doesn’t have a case and when he feels his mind is “stagnating” AKA when he’s bored. He hyper-fixates on a case and all the little details often missed by everyone else.

12: Yes he is a misogynistic at the start but he’s not racist. Homeboy cares about character more than anything and literally is a little shit to anyone whose an ass or arrogant.

13: He is well versed in various combat arts: Boxing, single stick (defending yourself with a cane)  fencing, firearms and Japanese Sumo Wrestling (no joke this is what saved him vs Moriarty at the falls)

14: Sherlock is about justice, not the law. He has, and will, commit crimes and cover for other folks. He once went undercover for months to find a blackmailer’s stash and the night him and Watson were going to break in, they witness someone murder the blackmailer. Holmes knew who this person was but burned the stash and proceeded to keep his mouth shut about it. He also owned an up to date burglar’s kit.

15. He will keep secrets. The another reason people go to him is because he will not reveal anything about his clients. When a royal from another country tried to pry for information about another case, Holmes’s said the same secrecy  i gave to them will be given to you. 

16. Due to human nature, he not only makes mistakes but big ones. Because people are unpredictable. He once chose the same spot a sniper after him chose because it didn’t occur to him that the sniper’s personal grudge would led him to make irrational choices about his shooting perch.

17. Holmes’s is charming and smiles alot.

Okay I know that this had been said before but it is late and I cannot sleep so bear with me

Anyone who adapts Sherlock Holmes listen the fuck up!

1. Holmes is someone people went to when they were scared of or knew they would be dismissed by the police. That is why there are numerous stories where abused women come to him for help, the speckled band, the copper beeches, the solitary cyclist, and also stories about people from a lower social class coming to him for help because he wouldn't charge them for his investigations and he would treat them with the same respect, if not higher, that he would treat the upper class.

2. Yes he is misogynistic in the beginning but there is literally a story about him unlearning his bigotry because a woman outsmarts him. This is why in adaptations IRENE ADLER HAS TO OUTSMART HIM!!! It is a vital part of his character arc. (Looking at you Moffat) If you make Holmes outsmart her, not only are you incapable of letting a woman be smarter than a man, you would also fail high school English class because you don't understand how character development works.

3. Holmes is not an asshole to everyone! He is purposely an asshole to the police and to rich people. He is an asshole to people that think they are better than him, and sometimes his client, because of their wealth/social standing/gender/perceived intelligence. Yes, he is sometimes accidentally an asshole because he has a difficult time with social cues (also this man is neurodivergent) but he apologizes! Usually right after he says something and if not then, always when Watson calls him out!! There are also times when he gets a case wrong and he asks Watson to remind him of these cases in the future when he becomes too full of himself to remind him that he makes mistakes!!! He wants to be reminded that he is human and makes mistakes, he wants to learn from them!!

Anyway, I am angry at the modern misconceptions of Sherlock Holmes. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[invisiblegirl86]

Traitor

I've been struggling with wether or not i would write this because at frist i didn't knew what i could write than would describe how i feel about it, but i finally realized that whatever it was i would feel a little better once i let it out.

Turns out my BFF Kara just broke up with me, basically i invited her to bindge-watch a Netflix show i've been obsessed about because a new season was coming and i just wanted to have a friend who would watch it with me. And even though i was almost certain she would say no i though i should at least try, but as it turns out after she declined she told me than lately we're not on the same frecuancy and that is the reason why she lately has declined most of my invitations to do basically anything (when at the time she told me one excuse after another making me belive it was true). And that she would always be there for me emotionally but that we're adults now and we shouldn't get stuck with each other (more or less).

I admit after she told me i cried for a really long time, the truth is i have lost friendships before, it startes small with me suggesting we should get together and hang out or inviting them to watch a movie and one of them declining or all of them not responding at all, and at the end after many failed attemts i stop trying because ther's simply no point on keep trying. And all those other times they simply vanish without having the guts to tell me it's over, and i always thouth i would feel better it a friend ended things being hones with me, but now i feel even worse. Because after almost 12 years of friendship Kara simply decided it was over, after everything we've been through together: the firts time i went trick or treat was with her, we spent all of high school together, we had our frist drink together, we had sleepovers, car rides, baking, makeovers, birthday parties, my quinceañera, my mom's cancer, we cried together, thrugh all of college i helped her study for her english class, i even went to support her on her final college exam, we went to the movies a thousand times, we drank together, we went to the fair, she even took me to her grandmother's ranch. Hurt even more that she was my oldest friend, the one person who knew all of me and still accepted me for who i was, the one who i could tell everything without being afraid of being judged. I always knew we were so different from each other but that just made me love her more because despite all our differences she chose to be my friend.

And after all of that she just got tired of me!!!. Like the last 11 years didn't happen. Like i never really mattered. Nobody has ever hurt me like she did. And the worst part is that if it's really over i don't have anyone else. I'm all alone and if even the longest relationship i ever had failed, if the person who knew me the most doesn't want me anymore, Who else will? What chance i have that someone else will want me? I know i'm not easy, i've always been weird and i've never been good with people, and the few times i've come close to someone they end up leaving me. What's the point of even trying?

[suckitsurveys]

How did it feel outside today? Ughh its so nice right now. In the 60s and a tad rainy. I wish it would stay like this for the rest of the month, because apparently Halloween is predicted to be in the freaking low 40s, maybe even 30s by the time we Trick or Treat.

Are there any animals in the room with you? Nope.

How did you spend yesterday afternoon? I stayed home from work because I was TIRED and had way too much human interaction the past week lol. I did end up going to the store to get some pumpkins and firewood for our pumpkin carving party tonight, and some fake blood and makeup for my niece’s Eleven costume

Are any of your siblings taller than you? Yes, she is.

Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: Anything by Interpol.

When did you last have a nightmare? I don’t remember.

What’s the goriest thing you’ve ever seen? I don’t know.

Have you or do you attend pep rallies regularly? I mean, in high school, we had to.

Have you ever seen a building on fire in real life? Yes.

Have you kissed anyone and their first name started with an F, D, or L? L.

Have you ever been in therapy for anything? I definitely should be.

Do you think clowns are creepy? Not really.

If you had to write an essay about a popular song… what would that song be? Probably something Lana Del Rey.

When did you last have some fruit? I’m eating a banana right now.

What’s something you have to look forward to? Halloween, and then the holidays.

Is there any part of your sexual/romantic history that you have not told your current significant other about or that you will not tell future partners about? I mean, I haven’t told him every detail, but not because it’s a secret or anything, it’s just not relevant to our relationship.

Have you ever developed feelings for someone whose sexual orientation was incompatible with yours? Nah.

How many relationships have you been in that actually got sexual? Most of them have, in one way or another.

Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know? I don’t know.

Are any of your pets “overweight”? Sake might be, but I honestly think she’s just bulky and like 80% fur. Her mom was a big cat too.

Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? My husband.

Last person to tell you that you smell good? My friend Lolly.

Last person you told that they smell good? My husband.

What shows do you watch? Um, a lot? Mostly sitcoms, some adult animation, and HGTV shows lol. Right now I am watching seasons 30-40 of SNL because I haven’t seen all the episodes between those seasons.

Is there anything you are craving right now? Sushi, always.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? More times than I can count. We laugh together every day.

What are five Halloween costumes that you’d like to wear in the future? Billie Eilish from the WTPO video (which I am being this weekend), Tanya from The White Lotus, Pete Davidson’s character from the YEET SKRRT SNL sketch, Louise Belcher from Bob’s Burgers, April Ludgate from Parks and Rec.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what color his/her eyes were? Some kid on our block when I was 12, if that counts And yeah.

Whose Facebook timeline did you post on most recently? Probably for someone’s birthday recently but I can’t remember who.

Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? I haven’t and yeah, I’ll try any food once.

Which edible flowers have you tasted? I’ve had hibiscus and rose before.

Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? Someone who works downstairs.

What was the last video you added to your favorites on YouTube? I don’t do that..

Who was the last person that apologized to you? I don’t remember.

What comes to mind when you think of pregnancy? Abortion.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid.

Do any of your family members have an upcoming birthday? Uhhhhh not my immediate family.

What is your favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers? Watermelon.

Is your favorite animal endangered? Pandas are still, I believe.

Are you better at writing fiction or non-fiction? I don’t know, I don’t like writing in general.

Have you ever dated someone one grade/year above or below you? No.

What is the middle name of the last person you texted? Allen.

Have you ever come close to drowning? Yeah.

So… remember Girl Scout cookies? Any favorites you had/have? Remember? They haven’t gone away? My favorites are the tag-a-longs and the lemon ones.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? I just don’t want to hang out with her and her fucking boyfriend who knows my ex.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Snoopy or Garfield.

Do you like chocolate milk? Yes.

What is something you hate, but wish you loved? Not really “hate,” but sometimes I wish I was a Disney Adult who went to the parks because the looks people create (Disney-bounding) are so cute and I’d have so much fun with it, especially making themed Mickey ears to match. But I can never see myself spending that much money to go to any of the parks, and none of the rides interest me.

What’s the cutest thing your S/O does, but denies it’s cute in any way? This face he makes sometimes. I can’t explain it but it’s freaking adorable and he hates when I say it is lol.

Who have you hugged in the past month? I’ve hugged lots of people this month actually. All of my family, a couple friends, and a lot of Mark’s family.

Last bad news you heard? I mean, the world is bad news right now.

Have you ever dined alone at a restaurant? I have.

Have you seen a baby being born in real life? Yup, my older niece.

Do any of your exes know each other? Yes, two of them were friends oops.

What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? People claiming vaccines cause autism.

Have you ever changed in front of the last person you kissed? Yes, lots of times.

Do you have any goats? I don’t own any goats, no.

Do you hang out with your sibling’s friends? Not without my sister, no.

Have you experienced any severe side effects of medications? Sure.

On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Nope.

Have you lost any close family members to cancer? Close? No.

Do you know anyone who doesn’t have a middle name? Yes.

How often do you check your emails? For my personal email, at least once a day.

Would you want your kids to have your hair color? I wouldn’t want kids to begin with, so.

Have you ever had a big YouTuber reply to a comment you left on their video? Yeah, Grav3Yard girl replied once a million years ago.

Have you ever given a lap dance? Jokingly.

[fruitcoops]

Could you write something about Alex bonding with Logan and Leo, just hanging out and getting to know Finn’s partners? And maybe sharing stories about little brother Finn 😈 or something like that

Fic O'Ween Day 8: Ghost! Fluffy bonding, character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

TW mentioned alcohol (no drunkenness)

“Okay,” Alex laughed, setting his beer down on the coaster while Leo and Logan tried to catch their breath. “Alright, next q—stop it, we’re moving on!—next question: favorite Halloween costume of all time, and why.”

“Merde.” Logan wiped a hand under his eye. His stomach hurt from laughing for…he didn’t even know how long it had been at this point. Two hours? Four? The O’Haras had a way of making every minute magnetic. “D’accord, Knutty, you first.”

“Oh, god,” Leo laughed. He bit his lower lip and stole a fry from Logan’s basket, leaning back against the booth to sling an arm over his shoulders. “Favorite costume. That’s tough, my family goes all-out.”

“Mine, too!” Alex said with the cheerful grin that always made Logan feel at home.

Leo’s face lit up. “No shit?”

“Yeah, man, we used to spend days setting up. My ma once carved 13 pumpkins and they didn’t even fit on the porch.”

“Nah, we always had space.” His drawl was honey-thick, the way it only was when Leo was fully relaxed. Logan loved that sound. He loved how it swayed like a hammock and sweetened the very air—when he pressed a kiss to the corner of Leo’s mouth, he could taste it on the tip of his tongue. A pleased blush highlighted his freckles and Logan felt a squeeze on his shoulder. “NOLA porches are no joke.”

“I bet.”

“But costumes…” Leo drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “I went as a glow-in-the-dark skeleton when I was fourteen and quite literally scared the shit out of one of my teammates.”

“No!” Alex gasped at the same time Logan nearly snorted his rum and coke out his nose.

“Swear to God! I had just passed six feet and he came around the corner of the bathroom looking at his phone,” Leo snickered. “Ran right into my chest. Never heard a guy scream like that. Scared me, too, I thought there was a gotdamn chainsaw killer behind me.”

“How am I supposed to beat that?” Alex muttered, falling back into the soft leather seat. He spun his beer bottle between his fingers with a hum. “I dunno about a specific costume, but there was one Halloween where I convinced Finn that Hershey had started using coconut oil in their chocolate to make it shiny.”

Leo’s jaw dropped. “He’s allergic to coconut!”

“Indeed he is. I had a haul like you’ve never seen. Smartest 12-year-old on the block.”

“He was only eight?” Logan laughed. “Oh, that’s cruel.”

“Eight’s old enough to know better than to listen to your siblings about candy,” Alex corrected. “Finn was so fuckin’ gullible as a kid, you wouldn’t even believe it.”

“I bet he knew better the next year,” Leo snorted.

“You bet your ass he did. Still hasn’t forgiven me, either.” Alex tossed a fry and Logan angled to catch it, but missed—it bounced off his chin and into Leo’s lap, who snatched it right up with a lazy wink. “Batter up, Tremblay.”

“I’m going to win this one,” Logan informed them. “Because Noelle had a boyfriend when she was seventeen and wanted to do a couples’ costume, but she was still supposed to take the rest of us trick-or-treating, ouais? And of course Syd and Aubrey threw a fit when she tried to ditch for this guy from her math class.”

“Of course,” Alex agreed. “I would expect nothing less.”

“Well, anyway, our parents had to get involved and finally Noelle was allowed to bring her boyfriend with us, but Sydney wore her down into matching costumes as well. This is where it gets bad.”

“This is the bad part?” Leo asked, incredulous.

Logan leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Ouais. Shh. Noelle and her boyfriend had decided on going as the characters from that movie Ghost—”

“Oh, no,” Alex said gleefully.

“Oh, yes. All four of us went as different types of ghosts. Syd wore this creepy Victorian dress, Aubrey was a ghost goalie, and since I was ten—” Logan broke off to laugh for a moment. “—since I was ten, I was still their little dress-up doll and none of them could agree on who got to match with me, so they stuck a sheet over my head with the eyeholes cut in the wrong places—”

“Oh my god,” Leo gasped.

“—which meant I couldn’t see shit and Noelle had to hold my hand the entire night.”

Alex had given up on listening and had his face in his hands, elbows splayed on the table while his whole body shook with mirth. Leo planted a sloppy kiss to the top of Logan’s head through his snickering, but eventually buried his face in the curve of Logan’s neck to ride it out until he could take a full breath again. Logan’s whole body buzzed. Not only was he incandescently happy to spend time with two of his favorite people for hours on end, seeing Leo with a smile like that…it was beyond words.

He knew Leo was insecure about how long he and Finn had known each other, sometimes. He had brought it up once or twice—always quiet, always careful—but Logan could read it on his face clear as day. Alex was so entrenched in the bruised bones that made up one-third of their relationship that he would have been worried if Leo didn’t care about him. Even after six years, Logan still held Alex’s opinion in the highest regard.

But if their matching grins and rosy cheeks were any hint, there was nothing to worry about. Logan smiled to himself and leaned further into Leo’s side, sliding an arm around his waist while Leo’s thumb traced patterns by the collar of his shirt. “That settles it,” Alex said as he spread his hands. “Tremz, you win.”

“Oh, please,” Logan scoffed into his glass. “I always do.”

[pernillemagda]

From the danish podcast "bag om trøjen" with Pernille Harder an Katrine Veje

I have finally listed to the whole podcast, and have tried to translate most of the podcast, not word by word, but just overall what they said, I know it's a bit long 😅

It was recorded back in February

The things in this color is the best parts (at least what I think)

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Talking about club

03:52 - It's only in Denmark I'm called Harder, everywhere else I'm called P

04:20 - How much do the shirts mean for you Veje?

explains that she only wants to switch her NT jersey with "bigger" teams and not teams like Azerbaijan and Malta. They mean a lot to her. But she never says no.

10:30 - Pernille picks up Veje's Arsenal shirt "ew, I don't think I can do this"

05:20 How much do the shirts mean for you Pernille?

- "My shirts, or the one I swap to"

- They all bring up some good memories.

- It's often in the final rounds that I switch as there are some of the "better" teams

- The one I'm probably the happiest about is Marta da Silva, I think it was in 2012, she also wears number 10. She is one of my biggest idols as a kid.

17:45 - Talking about the FA Cup on 5 December 2021 winning over Veje

13:30 - How was your start in Chelsea

- There was a big pressure as I was the most expensive player and just was named UEFA player of the year, but I think it was pretty well

Talking about worst/toughest player

19:20 - Pernille is asked first, the host and Veje think she's thinking about Troelsgaard as she says it's a teammate, but then she says it's Millie Bright.

- She's just going 100 percent in the tackles no matter if she gets the ball or not. She trains like she plays games. So sometimes you get to feel what she’s capable of

Katrines time in Montpellier

20:10 - Veje is next

- Troelsgaard must be the thought, she also trains as the play's games but has become better over the years

Listeners questions

21:30 - Before we went to the euro's 2017 i signed with Montpellier. I had a good start, played well and came on the world's top 100 list. Then there is a meeting just after the summer where she is told that some English clubs are interested in her and then the club starts not to treat her well.

- At a time, she trained with the U19 team, which was low, she felt it was kind of a punishment.

- Today when she's thinking bad, she still has good memories and good friends. It's not only bad things, but of course they still are there.

- She remembers a friendly against Barcelona where she starts out, then come on the field to play 12 minutes and was taken out again

- She learned a lot in that time and how to handle it. It was a tough time mentally and she considered stopping her career as it wasn't fun at all.

- At the U19 team, she was in the matchday squad, bet then they just take her shirt in front of her and put it back in the bag.

- (Harder interrupts) I don't know how they can treat people like that, it's inhuman, just because they heard she might be interested in moving on in her career to a new club

28:00 - Which shirt would be the biggest to swap to

- Pernille: It's hard to say, in the club we don't have shirts to swap them away, we mostly only have one. But I have the one I want the most.

- 28:55 - I swapped once with Megan Rapinoe and that is the one, I'm the happiest about

Talking early days/debuts with the NT

29:40 - What is it like to experience the development women's football is undergoing

- Pernille, there has happened so much in the last five years, people have started to be more interested and especially the TV streams have become a lot better, in the past, the matches were only filmed with a hand-held camera from one angle and then it is clear that people found it boring to watch women's football. It is something that has irritated me a lot. So, I'm happy that, that part is becoming better.

32:35 - Do you remember your debuts

- Pernille, I think it was a good game to have a debut against, I scored a hat trick and there also was another debutant who did that as well

33:50 - Talking about shirt numbers at NT

33:20 - Pernille

- I played Right back in a pretty important Worldcup playoff match against Switzerland (host: how did what go) well I was put as an attacking midfielder in the second half, I think that says it all about my performance 😂 and i have never played back since

Euros 2017

36:20 Veje had a chance where she was totally alone in front of the goal, without the goalkeeper. She then shot over the goal, and one of the teammates just yells "what the h*ll are you doing"

24:30 - The semifinal was postponed

- Veje, when we were warming up the ball didn't move at all, we have to chip the ball to each other.

- We went down to the changing room and our clothes got tumble-dried, at this time the game wasn't postponed to the day after yet, just a later kickoff.

- Pernille, when we were waiting for the game to start, I remember talking to a club teammate and the game was still not postponed

- Then we go out and warm up for a second time and after that warmup, we were told that the game had been moved to the day after, and I just thought "okay, then let's just go home and sleep" 😂

38:00 - Because of the later kickoff Denmark had packed their bags beforehand, and Germany hadn't

40:30 - After the tournament, my girlfriend and I went on vacation, I was mentally and physically exhausted and she told me I was the most boring to be on vacation with, we didn't do anything, and I just walked around in my own thoughts

38:30 - The final

- Pernille, the final was a special feeling. We were all exhausted, but still proud of what we had achieved

42:22 - Snoring

- Sofie Junge snores and we were roomies under the euro's 2017

- Pernille also sleeps with earplugs at home because Magda snores and takes very deep breaths, and it annoys her too much to not have them in. I think I have become addicted to them when I sleep alone today, I still sleep with earplugs

[specialagentlokitty]

Spencer x reader - miscommunication

If you would like to write it, scenerario 12 for Spencer (criminal minds). I have a little crush on him 🙃 - @nalabelievesindeagons💜

12: Person A is B's best friend and is always hanging up in their house. So when it is Halloween and the child of B neighbors goes trick or treating. The children thinks A is their partner,which later leads to a confession

Sitting on Spencer’s couch, you smiled as you looked at him as he came out of his room, dressed up as a zombie and you laughed a little bit.

“What? Do I look bad?” He asked, worried.

Shaking your head, you gestured him over and pointed to the table.

“No, you’ve just done your face paint wrong, let me fix it.”

“Oh, thank you.” He beamed.

He sat down and handed you the Halloween makeup kit he had tired to use.

Getting up, you grabbed a cloth and a bowl to clean his face, while fixing his makeup. You guys held a light conversation for a little bit before you finally finished.

Grabbing your phone, you took a picture of him and showed him.

“Woah, that’s so much better.”

“Now you look like a zombie, next year I’ll teach you.” You beamed.

“That’s great! Hey, where’s you costume?” He asked.

You shrugged a little.

“I forgot to pick on up and it’s too late now, and I don’t think you want me to use all your toilet paper to dress myself as a mummy.” You grinned.

“Preferably not.” He laughed.

You gestured to the kitchen and you followed behind him, helping him separate the candy.

He explained that he did this every year for the kids with allergies, it was the same ones that came by every year, so he knew who needed different candy.

Taking the bowls to the front door, you leant against the wall and crossed your arms over your chest.

“How about we play some games while we wait?” Spencer asked.

“Sure!”

You guys walked over and picked up the controllers, you played the first game that came up, and you were laughing as you kept beating Spencer.

“Bored games may be your thing, but video games are mine.” You grinned.

“Come on! You’ve gotta go easy on me!” He whined.

There was a knock on the door, and you both looked at each other before getting up to answer it.

“Trick or treat!” A few kids yelled.

You laughed and crouched down, balancing the bowl on your legs as you looked at them.

“A scary vampire, mummy and witch, how terrifying.” You whispered.

“They’re just costumes!” The girl giggled.

You laughed softly and watched as Spencer gave them some candy.

“Well it looks very real!” You beamed.

The three kids giggled to one another. You stood up and set your bowl aside.

“Spencer, why isn’t your girlfriend wearing a costume?” One of the boys asked.

“Yeah! Does she now like Halloween?“ the other asked.

Spencer blushed profusely and shook his head. You awkwardly looked away as well.

“She’s not.. we’re not..” he mumbled.

“I.. I love Halloween!” You rushed out.

The children giggled to themselves once more and whispered to one another.

“They love each other!” The girl yelled.

With that, they ran away and you guys closed the door.

You and Spencer didn’t say anything about it, but you kept looking at him. He didn’t say anything about it, and you weren’t sure if you should say something about it.

Throughout the rest of the night kids were commenting on you, saying you were pretty, asking why you weren’t in costume, and calling you his girlfriend.

At the end of the night, Spencer went to shower and you sat on the couch lost in thought.

Being called Spencer’s girlfriend brought up some feelings that you had been pushing down for a long while.

He was you friend, you didn’t want to loose that, and you couldn’t tell if he felt the same.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You snapped your head to the side to see Spencer sat next to you. He’d changed into some sweat pants and a sweater, a towel around his neck while he dried his hair.

“I was calling your name.”

“Oh sorry, lost in thought.” You smiled.

He nodded his head as he looked at you, and shuffled around so he could face you properly.

“I’m really sorry.. about the uh.. kids saying you’re my girlfriend…” he mumbled.

“It’s okay…” you whispered back.

Spencer took a deep breath looked away awkwardly.

“I.. understand it.. probably made you uncomfortable…”

You looked at him in shock.

“Spence look at me.” You said softly.

Spencer didn’t and you sighed.

Reaching out, you gently reached out, placing your hand on the side of his face as you turned it towards you.

“It didn’t make me uncomfortable Spence.” You spoke softly.

“It doesn’t..?” He asked gently.

You shook your head with a smile and took a deep breath, moving your hands to hold his.

“Spencer listen, I’m in love with you, okay? I didn’t want to say anything because you’re my best friend, and I didn’t want to mess that up. But hearing all those kids calling me your girlfriend, it brought the feelings back up.”

Spencer smiled a little back at you.

“To be honest, I was quietly wishing for it to be true.”

You smiled even brighter, and he leant forward, kissing you ever so gently before he pulled away.

“I love you too.” He whispered.

Laughing, you threw you arms around him a smile tackled him into a hug.

“So does this mean I can really call you my girlfriend?” He laughed.

“Yeah, it does.”

Spencer smiled and held you tightly, burying his face into your shoulder.

Who knew all that needed to happen for you two to get together was a few innocent miscommunications

[rek1s-headband]

Oh oh! Can we get some hedcanons about cherry adopting a girl who is around miya's age. Like how close would they be and how would others feel about her being his daughter now. Bonus points if uncel Joe and little missy mess with daddy blossom

Xoxo love your work so far, keep it up💙

➯ A/N: This was such an amazing request, I had so much fun writing it! Hope you enjoy :)

Also, i started watching Your Lie in April today, and its AMAZING! So much more than what I was expecting

➯ With a daughter

➯ Characters: Kaoru Sakurayashiki with a young daughter. Reki, Langa and co. are mentioned throughout!

➯ Warnings: none:)

Having a child had never crossed Kaoru’s mind before, but when Joe had teased him about how “you treat Carla better than you would a child!”, the idea kind of stuck with him. And so, he’d spent countless nights awake, wondering to himself if it was something he truly wanted?

He’d pass parks, seeing parents with spewing babies and toddlers throwing tantrums, wondering if he could actually put up with that? But as he passed the shops, he came across a mother and her daughter, who looked around 12. He watched them pass, a grin on the child’s face as she looked into her shopping bag, examining her haul for that day. And so it was settled

He wanted a baby girl he could spoil absolutely rotten

And the search for a child carried on, and this time instead of baby shops and websites, he was browsing the shelves of Claires and other tween clothing stores. It had only occurred to him over a bottle of wine with Joe, as they were discussing if Kaoru was truly ready for something like this. Instead of a crying baby or a messy toddler, he could simply adopt someone a bit older!

It made sense too. For a single parent, an older child seemed much more doable. Of course, he wouldn’t be alone. Joe was always telling him how he’d help out, yknow, if he actually went through with the damn thing.

Not to mention, the older you get, the more difficult it is to get adopted. Babies and young children will get adopted left right and centre, whereas the child he will take home will have been there for a while. Finally, they will have a place to call a home

He spent months trying to get the approval for adoption, and one fateful day he finally got the letter that yes he could go ahead and take one home. He was ecstatic, spending the next few days finding out the location of every orphanage around his area of Japan. He messaged every single one, asking when their next visiting day was

And so it was set: Kaoru would not rest until he had found his perfect little girl

He went through orphanage after orphanage, searching for someone he could call his own. However, none of the children were lighting that paternal flame inside him. It wasn’t their fault of course, they just didn’t click with him, staring at him any time he tried to talk to them. Visit after visit, he’d go to Joe’s, ready to tell him about his recent fail.

It wasn’t until Joe came up to him with a phone number, asking if he’d been to this particular orphanage yet. Apparently they had a few children aged 12 and up, and were available for visit that Saturday. And so there he was, packing a bag and getting ready to travel to the house. This time felt different, somehow. He could feel his palms sweat, as if he could sense he would take one of them home

When he finally made it to the house, he was a nervous wreck. The lady of the house let him in with a smile, telling him the children were in the backyard playing while she bounced a baby on her hip. Cherry winced as the baby gurgled at him, glad he opted for an older child

She led him outside, gesturing at the children who were sprinting around in the vast field, hiding behind trees and bushes. It was clear they were playing a game of hide and seek. He smiled as he scanned over them, but it quickly disappeared when he noticed one little girl sitting on the step, head in her lap while her shoulders gently shook with tears

He walked over to her, bending down with a soft smile. He didn’t know where this sudden calmness came from, but that was his last priority right now. A little gash sat on the girls knee, caked with blood as it trickled down her shin. He frowned, pulling out a tissue to gently wipe it. She jumped, wincing with shock from the fresh wave of pain, and surprise. Kaoru gently wiped at her knee once more before looking up at her to attempt a conversation

“Hello, is your knee alright?” She shook her head frantically, wiping a tear away from her face. A small breathy laugh escaped him as he watched the child stand, gesturing to her leg

“Nope, not at all. I think its broken, if you ask me. All cause of that stupid thing!” She threw her arm out, gesturing to a pink board Kaoru hadn’t noticed before. A skateboard.

That’s when Kaoru realised it: I want this one

Suddenly he felt a new sense of importance, like he had to make a good impression. He walked over to the board, tutting as he looked down at it. “This is what hurt you?” He looked at it with disdain as the little girl nodded her head violently. Kaoru could see how she hurt herself, the thing was massive, especially for someone her age. It looked around the size of a board he would use.

Grinning, he picked up the board. “Well, want to see something cool?” She watched in wonder as kaoru stood on it, pushing off and turning quickly, popping an ollie over a stray toy. The little girl jumped, throwing her arms up as she cheered Kaoru on. He finished with a flourish, coming back to stand beside her. “What did you think?” She was speechless, simply moving her hands, saying scattered “wows” and making various sound effects. Kaoru smiled, certain that he could teach her more.

When he realized visiting time was coming to a close, he proposed the idea to the girl, who’s name he had come to know was Lily: he’d come back next week, and he’d bring his board. He even promised to find her a smaller boar perfect for her to learn on, saying he knew a friend who could make her one. From there he would teach her the basics of skateboarding, even a couple of tricks once she got that down. She was delighted, bouncing up and down and declaring she couldn’t wait, all the energy of someone much younger than her. Kaoru found he couldn’t stop smiling himself either

He made his way back through the house, Lily skipping alongside him. He explained the plan to the Lady, that he would come back next week for another visit. Just as he was about to leave, he turned to the lady to request one final thing from her

“Make sure no one snatches her up from me while I’m gone, yeah?”

Needless to say a bottle of wine was opened at Joe’s that night in celebration of Lily, the potential daughter

And so the weeks turned into months, and Kaoru returned each week with his board and some sweets for her and the other children, teaching her everything she needed to know about skateboarding. After a month or so she could confidently ollie without bailing, and next time he visited she displayed it with delight, watching Kaoru’s face light up with pride.

She had taken a real liking to Kaoru, according to the Lady. She refused to pay any other visitors any notice, declaring they “simply weren’t Kaoru.” This is what finally made him realise that maybe it was time to ask if she’d like to live with him from now on, where she could practice with him every day.

When he asked her, Kaoru could’ve sworn he actually saw stars in her eyes. She simply lit up, throwing herself at Kaoru, tears streaming down her face as she shouted yes, of course she would. she wasn’t the only one crying, Kaoru could barely see from the tears in his own eyes, the lady dabbing at hers with a tissue

Once the paperwork was complete and Lily was his, he felt a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He had packed her a new change of clothes the day he went to collect her, bringing Joe along with him for emotional support. Lily came flying at him the second he got out of his car, wrinkling her nose at Joe

“You never told me you had a boyfriend, Kaoru” she stuck her tongue out at him from over his shoulder while they both tried to convince her that no, they weren’t a couple, before she ran upstairs to get changed. Joe turned to Kaoru, an almost offended look on his face

“Why were you so adamant that we weren’t together??” “I dont need her worrying she’s going home to a Gorrila” “HEY”

Once they all got home, they threw a little party at Joe’s who had closed a little early specially for it. Kaoru didn’t let her out of his sight, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable with all the new people. Of course, it was only Joe, Shadow, Reki, Langa and Miya, all of whom she would meet eventually, but he still worried in case she got overwhelmed.

She made quick friends with Reki, who was ecstatic from the moment he realised she could skate. The two bonded over it, talking about tricks they’d learned, Reki shouting over at Kaoru because why hadn’t he taught him anything??

Miya was a bit standoffish at first, but when she saw the switch in his hand, the two were instantly bonding over who had better villagers in Animal Crossing, and who had passed more levels in Mario with three stars

As the months went on, Lily really settled into her new life in Okinawa, starting at school in Miyas class. The two were joined at the hip, Miya often coming home to Kaoru’s so they could practice together, or simply study and watch some movies. Reki constantly teased the shit out of the two, talking about how he heard “wedding bells”. This comment earned him a swift whack into the skull from Kaoru, warning him not to tease his little girl

Soon enough Kaoru was making her own skateboard with built-in Carla, who helped her skating improve insanely. As Kaoru said, she was definitely a chip off the old block. Langa and Reki would take her to the skate park with them, helping her land new tricks and would take videos of her to send to Kaoru

Shadow was like a chill uncle to her, bringing her flowers for her room and taking her out to get some clothes and ice cream. Joe was like an uncle too, but a much more untrustworthy one. Would he take her to the park, or would he take her to parts of downtown she definitely shouldn’t have been? Who knows, certainly not Kaoru...

Poor Kaoru can never get a minutes peace. Every second of the day she’s plotting something, waiting for him to let his guard down so she can pounce, scaring the shit out of him. When the others are around its 10x worse, all of them ganging up on him to pull pranks

As well as skateboarding, Kaoru tried to teach her how to do calligraphy. She ended up being awful, blotting the ink and smearing it with her hand. But hey, it was a fun art project that made it onto the fridge

At S, she was watched like a hawk. When Kaoru was competing,the others would be like her bodyguard, making sure no one got within 5 feet of her. She’d watch her dad with wonder, the look of awe never leaving her face since the first day she saw him skate. She can’t wait for the day she can compete, maybe even beating her own dad

The first time Lily called Kaoru “dad” was when he won a race, showing off some amazing skills and winning the insanely close match by a hair. He picked up his board, looking around for Lily. He saw her in the crowd, throwing her arms up and cheering “THATS MY DAD!! LOOK, RIGHT THERE, THATS MY DAD!” When she spotted him, a large grin spread across her face. “Nice job out there dad! You did amazing!! D’you think I can do that one day?”

Everyone was staring at her, she hadn’t even realised she had said anything out of the ordinary. Soon enough Kaoru was lunging at her, picking her up in a hug so she didn’t see the tears quickly forming on his face. With a smile he pulled away, his voice dripping with pride

“Of course you could. You’re my daughter, aren’t you?”