#i went to see the druid healer woman and she just straight up tried to kill me

[beaft]

started a new playthrough of BG3 alongside my main one (because i realised i rushed through the first act really quick and missed a ton of content). i'm playing as a drow this time and everyone is being so so rude to me

[everything-you-mist]

Breaking Point

Let me get a few things straight here. If anyone ever tells you that loving someone is easy, kick them in the teeth because that is the worst lie I’ve ever been told. And I’ve heard it dozens of times. They don't know shit. It took years to even let the word exist and it only exists in one context. I love my dad. I do. He’s an asshole, and I get pissed at him constantly, but I don't want to deal with the idea that he’s not gonna be around someday. I don't want to be Thane if it means going on without him. But that’s the only place I’m using that word. I love him.

I really like Ricky, but I ain't touching much more than that for a while. Being close is hard, and I won't lie, when he kissed my cheek, I shut down. You ever been in a situation where your only thought is just screaming? Because that was me. I still have no friggin clue if it was awesome or horrifying.

I don't do touch. I don't like being hugged by most people, I don't like pats on the back or anything like that. Kinda goes along with having a hard time with affection. I have to fight, you got me? If my best friend wants to hug me, all my focus is on not freezing up. Somebody touches my shoulder, all my focus is on keeping still and not flying away. It’s hard, and it’s tiring, so I only fight for the people I like. Everyone else can piss right off.

Especially my mom. Israva is a pain in the ass. She’s tried dozens of time to sit down with me, have a heart-to-heart. And I’ll try, seriously, I will. A lot of people think I should give her a chance. She’ll drop down from whatever roof she’s perched on, ask about my life in some way or another. She’ll try to talk boys, or ask about me, or tell a story..

“Kaleala? Are you listening?” I’d been trying really hard not to, but damn woman is hard to tune out.

“It’s Aly.”

“Fine, so then..?”

“Then what?”

Israva threw her arms up in frustration. “So you weren't listening.”

“Nope.” Not that it stops her.

Israva sighed, almost a growl. “All I wanted to know was how you’re doing. With your father hurt and everything, it must be a lot.”

“You’re always on the roof, why don't you tell me?”

“Believe it or not, I do have to work occasionally. Moreso lately. You know very well I’ve let you be. Besides, I thought you disliked having me nearby?”

“I hate it.”

“So how else am I supposed to know how you’re doing besides asking?”

My hand twitched involuntarily as my temper rose. Nosy demon, always getting after me. Can't take a damn hint.

“I’m fine. Dad’s fine.”

“You don't seem fine. You’re even moodier than usual, you rarely leave the house, it’s not healthy.”

“Screw you, I’m looking after dad.”

“Even with healers already tending to him?”

“I thought you said you weren't on the roof.”

“I’m not, I only check in from time to time.”

“Piss off.”

“You know I won't.” Israva reached for my hand and I jolted it back. “Please Aly, all I want to do is talk. That’s all I ask. I want to be a part of this, even a little.”

Look, I admit it. I’m a violent person. I’ve gone after co-workers, friends, even took a few swipes at my dad. I’m working on it. My patience is getting way better, I'm getting a lot better at talking before taking a swing at someone. But all that progress means absolute shit when it comes to my demon mom. When she reached for me again, I made sure she regretted it. Shifting forms is second nature for me, I can go from my natural shape to a tiger or owlcat in moments. And once I’m wearing paws, I’m deadly. My claws were out and raking Israva’s arm in an instant, and she drew back just as fast, crying out. I could smell the fel in her blood, it burned my nose like an onion and just ticked me off more. As she blindly stared at me, I let out a warning growl rolling in the back of my throat.

Any other day, Israva was easy to predict. She’d try to talk, she’d piss me off, I’d take a swing and she’d run away. Then I’d get privacy for a few hours while she ran off to cry or some shit. But Israva sat there a little longer this time, lowering her head as though she even could stare at the wound I had inflicted. A little too long, even, why wasn't she running off? I gripped the log we’d been sitting on with my claws, turning to leave when she spoke, the sound as low and dangerous as my growls.

“Is that really the only response you have? You don't like what’s happening so you attack?”

I froze, and I felt my feathers bristling instinctually. She’d never talked like this before. She sounded too angry, like a completely different person. Each syllable was spit and didn’t sound quite right. I dared to look back at her.

“And you think I’m the monster..” Israva rose slowly, her teeth grit and bared. From where she’d left them on the frozen river below us, her shields or fist guards or whatever they were, sprung to her hands. “If that’s the only language you speak, then so be it.”

She leapt forward, shoving one of the large shields in my face and pushing me off the log. I tried to dig my claws in to stay put but felt nothing but air beneath them as I was thrown a good few yards. I slid when I landed, the thick ice of the frozen lake protesting the new weight on it. As Israva approached at a slow walk, the air around us grew dry and hot and before I could get to my feet, the shores around us ignited. With the heat just behind me, I could tell there was fire on all sides, an inferno arena keeping me in with the demon hunter.

“No more running, Kaleala, not for either of us.”

When did she grow a spine?! I kicked off hard, scratching against the ice as I sprinted full speed around to her back and leapt up toward it. If I could get my claws into her shoulders, she’d do damage for me. I’d done this a million times with the Watchers, it was my favorite technique. But I think Israva knew that. I was inches away from contact when I felt cold metal shoving into my side and cutting into it. She had turned on a dime and swatted me out of the air. I hit the ground on my shoulder, a sharp pain shooting through it as I landed, and the ice audibly cracking. Definitely was going to bruise.

“You’re my daughter, dammit! You were never supposed to be this way. You are so much more than this angry, bitter.. dwarf you’re growing into!” She charged forward again, but this time I was ready to leap clear, the whoosh of the metal right behind me. A smart Druid would stay on her paws, but she insulted my dad. I let myself slide a distance away as I stood, back at elven height and yelled in her face.

“You don't get to decide that! I am proud of being Wildhammer, you hear me asshat? Haldreth and the Watchers have done more for me than you’ll ever do!”

“But you’re not Wildhammer. You’re Kaldorei! You should be proud of your real heritage!”

“Oh yeah, this coming from the demon! You’re no Kaldorei, you don't get to tell me I am!”

With a rage-filled roar, Israva leapt at me again. I scampered to the right as I sprouted feathers again, this time taking to the sky in a wide swoop on stormcrow wings to get out of the way.

“I am Kaldorei! I made myself this way because I thought I could keep this world safe if I did. I thought I could keep you safe. I know I was wrong. I understand that! But I still love you, dammit! You’re still my world.. that never changed. I’m still me!”

I tilted my wings, twisting in a tight circle above her head. “Screw this,” I thought, “I’m out of here.” But as I beat my wings to fly over the flames they rose to meet me. Amid crackling fire, I could smell my feathers burning and I could hear Israva behind me.

“You’re not leaving until we’re done, Kaleala!” I felt her hand on me a split second before I was thrown to the ground. I could see her still floating where we’d been, violet leathery wings spread from her shoulders as she watched me fall. I hit the ice hard, the shock shoving me back into elf form. She landed nearby soon after me, and I felt cold water start to seep through all the cracks we’d made. I struggled to sit up, and could only watch as bluish-green runes carved themselves into the ground around me, forming some kind of circle. I started to shift back to owlcat, banking on speed to get out before anything happened, but before I could escape, the rune flashed. I felt myself revert to my normal form and without my claws to help, my hand slipped, sliced by the broken ice. I landed on my shoulder again and curled into a small ball, pain making me shudder involuntarily.

I felt a breeze, along with a distinct smell of fel and a low chiming noise as a whirl of light green began to swirl around me. Daring to look up, I found myself surrounded by rune stones, a strange ring floating above my head.

“What is this..?”

“A prison. I’d rather not hurt you worse than I already have, so hold still.” Israva threw her weapons aside, spikes I hadn’t noticed protruding from her back receded from wherever they’d come from, and she sat down. “I also dampened your magic. We are talking, whether you want to or not.”

I didn’t respond, though I did sit up, hugging my knees and hoping someone would come along and get me out.

“We’ve been at this for more than half a year.. I don’t know where the time went, but you’ve been angry the entire time. You’ve dismissed me, attacked me, insulted me.. I’ve given you space, I’ve answered every question you’ve ever asked me, and yet, every conversation is still a minefield. Only a matter of time before I say the wrong thing and I lose a chunk of my arm. Or my shoulder. Or my stomach. And I’ve put up with it. I’ve never fought back because the idea of hurting you was so repulsive to me. My heart has been in pieces for months over your treatment of me and the only reason I’m still here--” Israva made a weird choking sound, inhaling like she’d just said something terrible. “The only reason.. I’m still here is because I see Althallas in you. I see the loving man your father was when you’re with your friends and even with Haldreth sometimes. You could be just like him, you have every capability if you’d just try. And I want to see it happen so badly.”

I punched at the edges of my prison furiously. “I’m not changing for anyone, least of all you! I didn’t even know Althal-whatever, I don’t care that I’m like him!”

“No, you’re right.”  Her tone darkened. “I was wrong to think you could be like him. You delight in cruelty, striking at any opportunity. You no longer recognize your kin for who they are. You have every opportunity to be more than you are, but you refuse to let people get close to you, refuse to let people comfort you.” My prison dropped, and so did the fire on the shores. “You are foul, Kaleala. In speech, in attitude, in action. I see now what you are.” She reached down and grabbed me by my shirt, lifting me far easier than I thought she could. I struggled in her grip, but without my abilities, I was useless, unable to get into a shape I could work with. I was forced to stay put and hear what she thought of me.

“You’re as demon as I am.”

((I rolled a pair of 1s today ;_; Got to try some more first person, but dammit... @crazyprophet-box-o-plots for Hald and Ricky~))