#i went to school counsellors and that basically put me off therapy forever

[cosmossystem]

hi I saw your post on what you meant by therapy ain't shit (shortest way to put it) and I (someone who considers themselves to not be pro psych) have a question regarding this

do you think it's hypocritical for me to still want to try to get help through just going to therapy despite me not really caring for alot of things that therapists do. because in my head it's like I have a genuine hatred and fear for some of the "practices" I've heard from other people who've gone to therapy and I'm also kinda of wary of going anyway because I'm a black person in southern america and we don't get shit like ever but I feel like it might be better for me to go than sitting here letting my emotions and poor mental health just ferment in my brain until I physically can't take it anymore. and also I'm going because my old pediatrician thought I should be put on antidepressants . so. there's also that

but anyway before that gets too rant-y. this is probably just a moral dilemma that I have because it feels weird for me to actively want to try therapy even though my mom (or my family in general) is one of those people who's like "just go outside" and I've seen alot of people who talk about how therapy is pretty much pointless because you can just get better on your own if you look for the correct resources. so. thoughts

ok hello beloved mutual. so sorry i have a LOT to say here. it boils down to this: personally i wouldn't really find it hypocritical. i think if you are introspective and self-aware enough to know what issues exactly you deal with, and you have some idea of how you'd like to treat those issues, and therapy is one of those ideas, then i think therapy is worth a try.

those are all genuine concerns, especially wrt potential racism (if i'm interpreting that right) but i do think if you believe there's even a chance that therapy can help your specific situation, you should at least give it a shot. if you are someone who will really benefit from the possible outcomes of therapy, then i don't think it would be hypocritical nor do i think it'd be a waste of time at all to at least try.

i'm in a similar position i think. i've spoken about it here a bit, but my guardian is one of those "sickness is all invented by Big Pharma to sell Drugs and you can get better if you just Believe Hard Enough" and……….. eugh. a lot of the people who are generally speaking "anti-therapy", or really just anti-medicine in general, are… may be right in some ways, but their underlying motivations are wrong and they ultimately just want to shame everyone who relies on treatment. it's one of those things that sort of trancends politics tbh. like yes, they might be right that therapy doesn't work, BUT it's not for the reasons they claim. there's an asterisk after it. therapy doesn't work*, *in some cases because of various differing factors. you know what i mean? it's more of a gray area than anything else. the overarching anti-psych movement is less about how it 'doesn't' work, and more about how, like everything else, 1. it has mixed results and 2. is propaganda by the government to further oppress minorities. (if anyone feels so inclined, ask me about that latter part some other time. this post is long enough.)

therapy COULD make things worse. or, it COULD make things better. it COULD really help you, depending on your specific circumstances. for instance someone who is experiencing extreme psychotic episodes COULD benefit from seeing a therapist, provided that therapist is familiar with psychosis and doesn't actively make their patient's psychosis worse, but they could also make it worse or involuntarily admit someone.

i believe in a lot of ways your mileage wrt any sort of treatment is based on how well you can self-advocate… but also, considering that the people who turn to treatment are the ones who are the most vulnerable, they shouldn't have to learn to self-advocate. but it is necessary.

like, i am a disabled person. i go to doctors knowing they may or may not understand my disability. they COULD find something and help me treat it, or they COULD talk down to me and ignore my symptoms and ultimately set my progress back. the best i (and anyone in a situation like this, whether it's a physical doctor or a therapist, etc) is to do a bit of research on who it is i'm seeing to prevent any potential conflicts if possible, advocate for myself and my treatment, and be informed on what treatments i think would work or what i would like to try. if i'm going to a physical therapist, i'm not going to let them tell me that i need to Just Walk More.

similarly, if you're going to a therapist, you should know what you need from therapy--whether it's someone to lend you a shoulder and an ear and gently discuss your problems, or if you need them to be emotionless and simply give advice--or, at least, you should have an idea of what you're visiting for and where you'd like to start. i try to phrase it with symptoms instead of general disorders. such as: "ok, i have trouble with executive dysfunction in these various ways. i'd like someone who is familiar with executive dysfunction to help me finds ways to manage it." make sense? you'll have a lot easier of a time navigating treatment that way.

if you are at a point where your emotions and mental state are out of control (and i heavily empathize bc i was there not too long ago and was only saved through slow change) then i would say give therapy a try, at least. if it doesn't help, try reaching out to other people who have been through what you've been through. you don't need a degree to empathize with someone, and often that empathy works better than workbooks and cold offices.

i should also say that i do think there is a lot of genuine fearmongering and stigma around going to therapy, especially from older generations. like you've said, plenty of people talk about various, how should i say um, Not Good methods that therapists could use. but, (and i say this as someone who thinks there are Plenty of bad therapists out there) that shouldn't stop you from at least trying if you genuinely think it will help you. please don't let the strong opinions of anyone (including me even!) stop you from attempting treatment that could very much help you.

basically TLDR: i don't think it's hypocritical. there's nuance, the truth lies somewhere between all of the arguing from all the different sides. if you want to try therapy, go in open-minded but informed. remember that it is collaborative. if you want to get better, that is the most important step to getting better. if it helps, great! if it doesn't, keep in mind that therapy is not the only treatment, and plenty of people around you are here to support you.

💙 cass

[worldtopnewsoftheday]

Only once Meghan has merged from the post birth fog, will she discover quite what a good move she has made to Windsor. She might be sleep deprived and sore and living in a building site but within a few miles of Frogmore, her newly renovated “forever home” is everything a new mother could need from organic supermarkets and luxury spas to Buggy Fit classes and cafes serving proper coffee. “New mums want to stay in touch with reality and get back into their favourite dresses and round here there are loads of stylish, outdoorsy ways of doing it,” explains Sue Barnes of Lavender Green Flowers, a Windsor local who regularly does the flowers at events at the Royal palaces. Plus, Heathrow is only a short drive away – easy for when granny Doria flies in to help and, in case of emergencies, the Peter Jones nursery department is only 22 miles up the M4.  There will presumably be times when Meghan will crave the bustle of city life but Barnes insists Windsor is a playground for new mums. “I can imagine them taking the baby on a slipper boat down the Thames with a picnic,” she says.  “Or he will play polo at Coworth Park while she relaxes in the spa and the baby sleeps in the crèche. Round here you can also attend society events such as the Royal Windsor Horse Show with your baby in tow, which Meghan will appreciate.” If the Duchess is open to making new friends there will also be plenty of kindred spirits to hang out with, says local mother and parenting blogger Jodie Humphries. “It’s so easy for new mums to make friends around here as many have, like Meghan, moved out of the Royal Borough for a better quality of life,” she says. “We arrive as strangers but form strong friendships through local baby and toddler groups. It’s really helpful to have a set of friends who are all experiencing similar things at the same time.”  The question is: will Meghan flit between Frogmore and five-star spa hotels  – or brave the Windsor playgroups?   Windsor's Buggy Fit crowd meets weekly on the Long Walk - but will Meghan join them? Meghan’s guide to being a new mum in Windsor  The post birth boot camp Meghan has installed a gym and yoga studio at Frogmore, and will presumably ship in private trainers to come to the house – maybe Chloe Hodgson, who takes the pilates classes at Soho Farmhouse, or Notting Hill-based postnatal yoga guru Tara Lee. She might also take ballet barre and legs, bums and tums classes at the Cliveden Club, the private members club and gym attached to the five-star hotel where she stayed the night before her wedding. And then there are Her Majesty’s horses to canter around the Great Park – great for toning the post birth core. She would do well, though, according to Humphries, to pull down her baseball cap and mingle in with the Buggy Fit crowd, which meets weekly on the Long Walk, a few minutes from Frogmore. For this she will need to ditch the traditional royal pram in favour of a sporty buggy such as a BOB Revolution Flex or, if it’s twins, a Bugaboo Donkey. The new mum friends  Her friends the Clooneys live 20 minutes away at Sonning – Amal’s twins are now nearly two, so she can teach Meg the basics – and Elton John and his two children live in Old Windsor. Anna Friel is also a local Windsor mum and over at Henley-on Thames, mother-of-four Sascha Wrottesley, whose father Urs Schwarzenbach is a local polo patron and is a great mate of Prince Charles, will be able to introduce Meghan to the local polo mums. Meanwhile in Virginia Water are pop star Jessica Taylor, who is married to Kevin Pietersen, and TV presenter Kirstie Gallagher both with two children.  If she’s prepared to brave the local baby classes, however (see below), she will meet a raft of other local mums, and can bond over coffee and cake in the cafe at the Windsor Farmshop or on breezy walks in the Great Park. We’d say unlikely, but the option is at least there. The baby classes  There is so much on offer for babies around Windsor that Meghan could risk over stimulating Baby Sussex: baby massage in Maidenhead , Hartbeeps sensory sessions in Windsor and two soft plays, the Jelly Lounge and the Little Gym in Windsor. For older babies Humphries recommends Concertini, live concerts for babies at Norden Farm Centre for the Arts in Maidenhead. “My little boy went to his first concert when he was around six months,” she says. Perhaps most appropriate for Meghan will be Yoga Babes at the Positivity Centre next to Cliveden. “It’s postnatal exercises for mum and groovy moves to nursery rhymes for baby,” Humphries explains.  Me time When Meghan wants to escape the house for some ‘me time’, she should stroll to the Savill garden in Windsor Great Park, says Humphries, which has a great café and stunning scenery. Cliveden will undoubtedly become another favourite with its spa café serving healthy meals and tranquil sitting areas. There is no shortage of baby classes in Windsor  Credit: Paul Edwards/PA Wire Not only do they do lovely afternoon teas and two-hour restorative flotation therapies (£185),  there is also a playground in the National Trust estate for when the baby gets a bit older too. She might bump in to Cliveden regulars Poppy Delevigne and Gabby Logan. Date night Once they feel up to it they will be able book a discreet table at numerous fancy restaurants near Frogmore – the Fat Duck and Royal Oak are 15 minutes away at Bray and both the Waterside Inn and Skindles can be accessed by boat. “Or the Barn at Coworth Park, is relaxed chic and serves amazing food and is out of the spotlight,” says local parenting blogger Melanie Kentish. Brad Pitt has stayed at Coworth and it was where former Dr Who star Matt Smith introduced his girlfriend Lily James to polo. The Sussexes also have a sentimental connection as Harry stayed here on the eve of their wedding.  Family outings There will surely be family picnics on the lawns at Guards Polo, where Harry regularly plays and cream teas at the Royal Windsor Horse Show, a favourite with the Pony Club set including dressage star Laura Tomlinson, Harry’s cousins Lady Louise Windsor and Zara Tindall – her youngest, Lena, will be a partner in crime for Baby Sussex – and Jessica Springsteen, Bruce’s champion showjumper daughter.  “It’s smart but also very family orientated,” Barnes says. And then there’s Henley Royal Regatta, where Harry can catch up with his “wet bob” school chums. Harry might also suggest they go Carters Steam Fair, a traditional fairground, where he rode on the dodgems as a child. “It’s a great place to go if he wanted to show Meghan some British traditions,” Humphries says.  School stress It may feel like much too soon to be talking schools but places are coveted at Asquith Nursery  - one of the best nurseries in Windsor, according to Kentish, while Puddleduck Preschool, which has a similar vibe to Westacre Montessori, the small nursery on the Sandringham Estate where Prince George began his school days is also highly sought after. Another Montessori option is Children of the World Montessori School, which has small class sizes and a large playground.   Royal baby Sussex | Read more Little Sussex might go on to Upton House where Fergie and Andrew sent their girls or Bishopsgate prep, at the entrance to Windsor Park, which is popular with local yummy mummies. Perhaps the most obvious choice, though, is St George’s, at the foot of Windsor Castle, founded in 1348 to educate the choristers of the chapel where the Sussexes were married. And then of course there’s Harry’s alma mater, Eton, just across the river – although Meghan might put her foot down at that.  Mothers help If Baby Sussex starts making her life difficult she could call up Hummingbird Home Staff, which provides local maternity nurses, night nannies and sleep trainers. Of course leading baby experts from across Britain will also be on hand to dash to the Duchesses side: miracle breastfeeding consultant Clare Byam Cook, for example, and Magic Sleep Fairy Alison Scott-Wright. Lady Sophie Windsor, who is married to Harry’s cousin Lord Fredrick Windsor, might suggest she consults sleep counsellor Andrea Grace, who helped with her children’s sleep issues.  Newsletter Promotion - Royal Appointment - in article Beating the baby blues  Even for new mums like Meghan, with a luxury home and an entourage, motherhood can be lonely. “The key is to have realistic expectations and to surround yourself with people that make you feel confident,” Humphries says. Parenting podcasts are a good way to feel connected during solitary night feeds or lonely days at home; Marina Fogle’s Parenthood is a good one, as is Motherkind – or Scummy Mummies if Meghan is feeling less than perfect. And there’s nothing like a good catch up with an old friend – or a new one. “Thankfully there is a great sense of community within Windsor,” Kentish says. “Which wards off the loneliness that being a new mum can bring.”

from Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines https://yhoo.it/2DWKShP

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Only once Meghan has merged from the post birth fog, will she discover quite what a good move she has made to Windsor. She might be sleep deprived and sore and living in a building site but within a few miles of Frogmore, her newly renovated “forever home” is everything a new mother could need from organic supermarkets and luxury spas to Buggy Fit classes and cafes serving proper coffee. “New mums want to stay in touch with reality and get back into their favourite dresses and round here there are loads of stylish, outdoorsy ways of doing it,” explains Sue Barnes of Lavender Green Flowers, a Windsor local who regularly does the flowers at events at the Royal palaces. Plus, Heathrow is only a short drive away – easy for when granny Doria flies in to help and, in case of emergencies, the Peter Jones nursery department is only 22 miles up the M4.  There will presumably be times when Meghan will crave the bustle of city life but Barnes insists Windsor is a playground for new mums. “I can imagine them taking the baby on a slipper boat down the Thames with a picnic,” she says.  “Or he will play polo at Coworth Park while she relaxes in the spa and the baby sleeps in the crèche. Round here you can also attend society events such as the Royal Windsor Horse Show with your baby in tow, which Meghan will appreciate.” If the Duchess is open to making new friends there will also be plenty of kindred spirits to hang out with, says local mother and parenting blogger Jodie Humphries. “It’s so easy for new mums to make friends around here as many have, like Meghan, moved out of the Royal Borough for a better quality of life,” she says. “We arrive as strangers but form strong friendships through local baby and toddler groups. It’s really helpful to have a set of friends who are all experiencing similar things at the same time.”  The question is: will Meghan flit between Frogmore and five-star spa hotels  – or brave the Windsor playgroups?   Windsor's Buggy Fit crowd meets weekly on the Long Walk - but will Meghan join them? Meghan’s guide to being a new mum in Windsor  The post birth boot camp Meghan has installed a gym and yoga studio at Frogmore, and will presumably ship in private trainers to come to the house – maybe Chloe Hodgson, who takes the pilates classes at Soho Farmhouse, or Notting Hill-based postnatal yoga guru Tara Lee. She might also take ballet barre and legs, bums and tums classes at the Cliveden Club, the private members club and gym attached to the five-star hotel where she stayed the night before her wedding. And then there are Her Majesty’s horses to canter around the Great Park – great for toning the post birth core. She would do well, though, according to Humphries, to pull down her baseball cap and mingle in with the Buggy Fit crowd, which meets weekly on the Long Walk, a few minutes from Frogmore. For this she will need to ditch the traditional royal pram in favour of a sporty buggy such as a BOB Revolution Flex or, if it’s twins, a Bugaboo Donkey. The new mum friends  Her friends the Clooneys live 20 minutes away at Sonning – Amal’s twins are now nearly two, so she can teach Meg the basics – and Elton John and his two children live in Old Windsor. Anna Friel is also a local Windsor mum and over at Henley-on Thames, mother-of-four Sascha Wrottesley, whose father Urs Schwarzenbach is a local polo patron and is a great mate of Prince Charles, will be able to introduce Meghan to the local polo mums. Meanwhile in Virginia Water are pop star Jessica Taylor, who is married to Kevin Pietersen, and TV presenter Kirstie Gallagher both with two children.  If she’s prepared to brave the local baby classes, however (see below), she will meet a raft of other local mums, and can bond over coffee and cake in the cafe at the Windsor Farmshop or on breezy walks in the Great Park. We’d say unlikely, but the option is at least there. The baby classes  There is so much on offer for babies around Windsor that Meghan could risk over stimulating Baby Sussex: baby massage in Maidenhead , Hartbeeps sensory sessions in Windsor and two soft plays, the Jelly Lounge and the Little Gym in Windsor. For older babies Humphries recommends Concertini, live concerts for babies at Norden Farm Centre for the Arts in Maidenhead. “My little boy went to his first concert when he was around six months,” she says. Perhaps most appropriate for Meghan will be Yoga Babes at the Positivity Centre next to Cliveden. “It’s postnatal exercises for mum and groovy moves to nursery rhymes for baby,” Humphries explains.  Me time When Meghan wants to escape the house for some ‘me time’, she should stroll to the Savill garden in Windsor Great Park, says Humphries, which has a great café and stunning scenery. Cliveden will undoubtedly become another favourite with its spa café serving healthy meals and tranquil sitting areas. There is no shortage of baby classes in Windsor  Credit: Paul Edwards/PA Wire Not only do they do lovely afternoon teas and two-hour restorative flotation therapies (£185),  there is also a playground in the National Trust estate for when the baby gets a bit older too. She might bump in to Cliveden regulars Poppy Delevigne and Gabby Logan. Date night Once they feel up to it they will be able book a discreet table at numerous fancy restaurants near Frogmore – the Fat Duck and Royal Oak are 15 minutes away at Bray and both the Waterside Inn and Skindles can be accessed by boat. “Or the Barn at Coworth Park, is relaxed chic and serves amazing food and is out of the spotlight,” says local parenting blogger Melanie Kentish. Brad Pitt has stayed at Coworth and it was where former Dr Who star Matt Smith introduced his girlfriend Lily James to polo. The Sussexes also have a sentimental connection as Harry stayed here on the eve of their wedding.  Family outings There will surely be family picnics on the lawns at Guards Polo, where Harry regularly plays and cream teas at the Royal Windsor Horse Show, a favourite with the Pony Club set including dressage star Laura Tomlinson, Harry’s cousins Lady Louise Windsor and Zara Tindall – her youngest, Lena, will be a partner in crime for Baby Sussex – and Jessica Springsteen, Bruce’s champion showjumper daughter.  “It’s smart but also very family orientated,” Barnes says. And then there’s Henley Royal Regatta, where Harry can catch up with his “wet bob” school chums. Harry might also suggest they go Carters Steam Fair, a traditional fairground, where he rode on the dodgems as a child. “It’s a great place to go if he wanted to show Meghan some British traditions,” Humphries says.  School stress It may feel like much too soon to be talking schools but places are coveted at Asquith Nursery  - one of the best nurseries in Windsor, according to Kentish, while Puddleduck Preschool, which has a similar vibe to Westacre Montessori, the small nursery on the Sandringham Estate where Prince George began his school days is also highly sought after. Another Montessori option is Children of the World Montessori School, which has small class sizes and a large playground.   Royal baby Sussex | Read more Little Sussex might go on to Upton House where Fergie and Andrew sent their girls or Bishopsgate prep, at the entrance to Windsor Park, which is popular with local yummy mummies. Perhaps the most obvious choice, though, is St George’s, at the foot of Windsor Castle, founded in 1348 to educate the choristers of the chapel where the Sussexes were married. And then of course there’s Harry’s alma mater, Eton, just across the river – although Meghan might put her foot down at that.  Mothers help If Baby Sussex starts making her life difficult she could call up Hummingbird Home Staff, which provides local maternity nurses, night nannies and sleep trainers. Of course leading baby experts from across Britain will also be on hand to dash to the Duchesses side: miracle breastfeeding consultant Clare Byam Cook, for example, and Magic Sleep Fairy Alison Scott-Wright. Lady Sophie Windsor, who is married to Harry’s cousin Lord Fredrick Windsor, might suggest she consults sleep counsellor Andrea Grace, who helped with her children’s sleep issues.  Newsletter Promotion - Royal Appointment - in article Beating the baby blues  Even for new mums like Meghan, with a luxury home and an entourage, motherhood can be lonely. “The key is to have realistic expectations and to surround yourself with people that make you feel confident,” Humphries says. Parenting podcasts are a good way to feel connected during solitary night feeds or lonely days at home; Marina Fogle’s Parenthood is a good one, as is Motherkind – or Scummy Mummies if Meghan is feeling less than perfect. And there’s nothing like a good catch up with an old friend – or a new one. “Thankfully there is a great sense of community within Windsor,” Kentish says. “Which wards off the loneliness that being a new mum can bring.”