#i went back to take a screenshot but my feed refreshed

[vicsy]

it's not something limited to f1 rpf or others but this is basically saying that you have to force yourself into writing something you don't personally find enjoyable because it is loved by the majority or by a certain group of people that have """""fandom fame"""""

for fucks sake man.....

saw a take so bad i had to pace around the room to calm down

[luxrayz64]

(SORRY FOR THE ANON im too coward to pm u and the acc we’re moots on isnt my main bfhshfh this is kienuim!!)

i saw this on my insta feed and it made me think of u!!

it is sterling silver crucified shadow the hedgehog necklace for like $30 if that helps nsjahfjsj https://www.instagram.com/reel/C66sAyCRbeX/

(i was gonna take a screenshot of it so the link wouldnt be terrifying but as soon as i went back to insta my feed refreshed im so sorry mootie </3 also u dont have to respond if u dont want to)

waaa this is so sweet??? 🥺🥺 thank you!! I think im only not following yr main bc it was (?) abandoned but i would still recognise you!!!

the necklaces r absolutely incredible. a must especially for that price but it looks like he's totally sold out all the shadows 🥲 even the 3d printed ones lmao. I will keep an eye out though!! <333

[crackheadgeminibby]

Could you write something 'bout Chris congratulating yn in public and privately 'cause it's mother's day and she's dodger's mom? 🥺

mother's day

pairing: chris evans x female!black!reader

warnings: age gap, language, fluff

word count: 1.5k

a/n: i love this idea so much, thanks for giving me the opportunity to write it🤍

i do not consent to my work being copied in any way, shape or form or reposted on any other platform

picture credit: @chrisevans on instagram

You groan softly, before turning around and stopping your alarm.

It’s Sunday, which normally meant no alarm and sleeping in, but you had plans. Today is Mother’s Day. You normally spent it with your mother going out for brunch, shopping, going to the movies, etc. but in the last year, you had moved in with Chris and he lived really far away from your parents’ house. You had told your mom that you were going to call her, first thing this morning, to make up for not being able to be with her.

Since you were in Boston with Chris, you were going to be spending Mother’s Day at his mom’s house. This meant a big dinner, but it also meant you had to make some food to take it there.

Every single time you went to Lisa’s house, you always brought something whether it was a meal, dessert, wine or a gift. And every single time you brought something, she said you didn’t have to do that. You couldn’t help it though; it was just how you were raised. Your parents always told you to never show up empty-handed when someone invited you to their home and that’s exactly what you did.

Today, you were making apple pie for dessert which meant fresh apples and going to the grocery store right at the opening.

Rubbing your eyes, you push the covers off your body and walk to the ensuite bathroom. While brushing your teeth, you take your phone and open Instagram. The first post you see is one that Scott posted a couple of minutes ago. The first picture is a collage of a bunch of pictures of him and his mom. You smile softly at their smiles in the pictures. Sliding, you see other collages with pictures of Scott’s friends and their kids. You double-click on the post, leaving a like, and slide down to the second post. Of course, it’s Chris’ post to his mom. The first picture is an old picture of them holding each other and smiling. You slide and see that the second picture is from when he took her to the Winter Soldier premiere. You double-click again, liking the post. You’re about to put your phone down to take a shower but see a bunch of notifications appearing on your screen.

Confused, you refresh your Instagram feed and see a new post by Chris appearing at the top. You frown, seeing yourself from the back in the first picture. You slide down to the caption and gasp softly as you read it: “Also, happy Mother’s Day to this beautiful woman! We may not have any babies but you sure as hell are Dodger’s mom. Kinda hate that he likes you more than me now but it’s okay because I love you💙”

You smile as you go through the pictures he posted. The first one is a picture you didn’t even know he had taken from when Dodger, Chris and you had gone on a picnic a couple of days ago. The second is a pretty dark and blurry picture that he obviously hid to take. You recognize the angle being from the entrance of the living room. You were laying on the couch, engulfed in a fluffy blanket, with Dodger laying in front of you, his head resting on your stomach. You smile softly, remembering that day.

It was a couple of months ago and you were on your period. You normally didn’t have really big cramps but the stress you were feeling had intensified them and you were almost unable to move. When Chris had come back from work, seeing you laying on the couch in pain, he had gone right back out to get you a bunch of food to satisfy your cravings and half a dozen hot compresses because he wasn’t sure which one you would like.

Chuckling softly, you slide to the last picture, slightly cringing at your appearance. It was a screenshot from a FaceTime call, right after you had moved in with Chris. He had to leave for a few weeks to film and you were alone with Dodger, who always wanted to see Chris before you hung up. In the picture, you had clearly just woken up and were laughing, probably at something Chris said, with half of Dodger’s face mid-bark in the frame.

You like the post and scroll through a couple of comments, some nice, others not so much, before putting your phone down.

While in the shower, your mind goes back to a conversation you had with Chris recently. It was after your first big fight.

Everyone knew Chris wanted kids and you obviously did too. But he had brought it up accusingly when you were exhausted and anxious and you had blurted out that you didn’t want kids. It wasn’t really the truth because you did want kids. And you wanted them with Chris, but you weren’t ready. After you had said that, you had a screaming match with Chris that ended up with you sleeping in the guest room, not that much sleeping was done. Halfway through the night, Chris had knocked on the door, asking if you were awake, and you talked to each other, explaining both of your viewpoints: you felt like you weren’t ready to be a good mom to a child because you were still dealing with trauma from when you were younger, and Chris felt like his clock was running out. After talking to each other, you had settled on kids in the near future, but not right now.

Getting dressed after your shower, you think about the fact that you hadn’t heard a peep from Chris since you had woken up. Considering it was Sunday and Mother’s Day, you knew he couldn’t have scheduled a meeting today. He sometimes ran or worked out on Sundays, but you had been up for almost 2 hours now.

Walking to the kitchen, you open your Messages app, ready to send him a text asking where he is when you hear, “Dodge, stop, let it go.”

Frowning, you start deleting the message when you hear, “Happy Mother’s Day!”

You shriek, startled, before letting out, “Holy shit!”

You look up at the dining room that is completely decorated. There are colorful banners all around the walls and the table is filled with food from waffles and pancakes to fruits and drinks. Finally, Chris and Dodger are standing in the corner of the room in front of balloons that spell out “MMO❤️”. You frown, tilting your head. Chris’s smile falters as he turns around, groaning, “Dodger, I told you to stop moving the balloons.”

He turns around completely, arranging the balloons to say “MOM❤️” and turns back around, saying, “Ta-da!”

You laugh loudly before walking to Chris, hugging him.

“When did you have time to do all this?”

Chris smiles, holding your waist, before yawning and saying, “I got up at like 6 to make all the food and then I got the balloons when the mall opened at 8.”

You wrap your arms around Chris before kissing his cheek.

“Well, thank you, I love it. And I love you.”

You bite your bottom lip, flicking your eyes down to his lips, before leaning towards him. Chris smirks, letting his hand slide to your butt cheek, softly squeezing it before you hear a small whine. You stop moving, slowly looking down. Dodger looks up at you with his big brown eyes, rubbing his snout on your leg.

You smile softly, letting go of Chris before bending down and petting his head.

“You want some love too, huh, Dodge?”

You rub the back of Dodger’s ears, hearing a click sound. You turn around, seeing Chris with his phone in his hand. You smile, saying, “Did you just take a picture?”

Chris smiles softly, “No?”

You chuckle, sitting down and gesturing at Chris to join you. Chris takes one of your hands in his and pets Dodger with the other. You alternate looking at Chris and Dodger before sighing and cupping Chris’ face in your hands. You kiss him softly, leaning back and saying, “I love you, baby.”

Chris smiles softly, replying, “I love you too.”

You look down, sighing softly. Chris lifts your head up, giving you a knowing look, “What’s wrong, baby?”

You chuckle at how perfectly he knows you.

“I know I said I wasn’t ready, but I think maybe I am.”

Chris’ smile widens slowly before he says, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

You nod your head excitedly and Chris lunges at you, tackling you to the ground, planting kisses all over your face. You laugh softly, hearing Dodger bark, before he excitedly starts jumping around Chris and you.

Chris leans back slightly before whispering, “You’re gonna be the best mom, I just know it.”

You smile softly, kissing his cheek and wrapping your arms around him.

[that-bookworm-guy]

2-week Hiatus Post

I've written, rewritten and deleted this post more times than I can count.

If this has posted it means that I'm still not back.

The only things I've come online for are to top up my queue and to write and queue book review posts. On my Twitter the only things that should be posting are the automatic posts from Netgalley as I review books. My Instagram has been silent.

I've just written my post about my 1 week hiatus, which as I stated in the post, is a safety net I like. It makes me feel like I'm not abandoning everything and hopefully it gives extra notice to those who may not have sewn my original break post. So although these posts are a week apart for you, it's been literally minutes for me.

I don't think I've ever written a 2 week post. I've had breaks that have been longer than 2 weeks, but I've always had a rough idea of when I'll be back. I don't know this time. I really don't. I didn't tell anyone directly that I was going on a break. Because I didn't know how to explain things. I just kinda posted the posts and went silent.

So this post is going to be long.

Tw: Hate (and assault??)

If you've been following me for over a month, you may remember I took a break from social media because of the vast amount of hate I was getting on twitter and here. I shouldn't have come back from that so soon, because honestly, the hate on the internet hasn't stopped. It's all over my Twitter feed, hate directed at trans people and even if I block certain words, screenshots keep appearing of things people have said.

Before my last break, I woke up one day to my Twitter inbox full of vile hate. Towards trans people in general and towards me. I mean vile, horrible messages with vivid descriptions of things. In my half asleep crying state I didn't block or screenshot any of them. I just deleted them. I wanted them gone. It took me hours because every time I thought I got to the end, I refreshed and there were more. I was a mess.

I was getting hate on here too. I had to step back.

I came back a week or two later feeling a bit better. But fully aware that i was pushing myself to regain some kind of normality.

Then everything kicked off again, but this time just on my Twitter feed. If you've been on twitter you may know what I'm on about. I've unfollowed people, blocked others but screen shots kept appearing on my dash and people were replying to hate messages which put them on my feed.

Then I got a hate message on here and something in my snapped. I cried and cried and wrote an impulsive rant on twitter about I'm going on another break.

I haven't reread the thread but I wrote that I'll delete it when I got back, so it's still there. I also wrote about the fact I've been a terrible friend to people because I've been isolating myself. It's something I do when I know I'm getting bad again. In a way, I want no one to notice what's happening. In another, I'm afraid that if they see me in this state, I'll be rejected. So I isolate. 

So I went on a break.

In March I started running to help with my mental health. In May I had to stop due to injury and something else, which I won't discuss. But it meant going back to running was going to be hard for me.

But I decided i needed to go for a walk at least because I hadn't left the house since early May.

I had been out for half an hour when I noticed 3 men behind me. They had been behind me for a few minutes but I thought nothing of it because I was walking down the back streets (I live in a village/ small town. The back streets are just road with houses either side but it's not a proper road. It's mostly used by walkers). I know these streets very well.

But then the men started to comment on what I was wearing (gym clothing, that are men’s wear, which I know isn't important but I thought of wearing something else but didn’t) and commenting on my body. Then they started to question if I was a boy or girl. Things got nasty quickly. I didn't reply, didn't turn around and didn't run. I was taught to do these things. I was playing pokemon go and the men had commented on this so I was scared to try and take their photo or call someone.

Because I didn't answer and i can only assume they saw my beard and nail varnish or maybe my body shape, they started to yell transaphobic things at me as well as sexual comments on my body, guessing what I had under my clothing. I keep telling myself that there is no way they could have known that I was trans, that they were just hoping to get a reaction, and when they didn't, they tried harder.

They threw rocks at me. I have cuts and bruises over my back, legs, arms and something hit me in the back of the head. But I didn't run because I couldn't risk them chasing me. So instead I continued walking like nothing was happening. I tried to show no fear as I could feel a panic attack building. But I didn't know how they would react if I reacted.

They yelled things calling me scum, an abomination, that I should kill myself or they could do that for me. They told me no one would miss me. Tr*nny waste of space. They followed me for a while until I turned onto a main road. Then one of them said that I wasn't worth it and they turned back on themselves.

Mum says there is no way they could have known I was trans, that I look masculine.But I don't think my body does. I had my hood up and was dressed all in black. But my clothing was actually my size instead of being 3 sizes too big. I don't know. I keep thinking what I did wrong. Why I didn't blend in.... Why I didn't pass as a cis male. What I did to be a target when I didn't say a single word to them.

 My dad keeps telling me I was assaulted and that it's a hate crime. I'm not sure what it was....

But mixed with the online hate and whatever it was with the 3 men, I want to do nothing but lay in bed, read and cry, as pathetic as that sounds. But right now, everything is a little bit too much.

I know I need to do something other than hide. But right now that’s all I want to do. I have no energy to be bright and bold and to be proud of who I am.

I know I have to deal with this sooner or later. But right now I pick later.

I don't know when I'll feel okay talking to people, even those close to me. I love and adore you, you all know who you are, but I'm sorry, I can't hold a conversation right now.

Honestly, I want to pretend I don't exist right now. That I'm not real. Which is why I'm reading a lot, because at least then I'm not me.

I love this blog. I love the people I’ve met. I work hard to create content and i genuinely adore what I do here, even if no one else does. Which is why I want to explain why I need to step back right now. Because I don't know, something in my head is telling me that if I didn't write a reason, then I'm abandoning this blog, which I know is stupid. A few weeks or months away isn't going to mean my blog disappears. But this blog and the people on here means a lot to me.

I'm keeping my queue going and I've been writing book reviews to post so it won't even feel like I've gone. I'm sorry I'm not replying to messages or asks, but right now, I can't. I will as soon as I come back properly (not just to update queue). I really hope you all understand.

I'll be back at some point. Maybe a few days after this has posted, or a few weeks, but I just don't know how long. I'm sorry.

I'll be okay, I just need to work through this and some other stuff so I'm not constantly having a breakdown.

[kujo1597]

Another day where I played Disc Creatures instead of taking my second nap. But that’s okay! 

So, I wandered through the forest some more and burning more Noizum and Ampords to discs which is a great source of cash. And I ended up in a new area.

The creatures in this mess teleport around a lot, and this is a maze too. But it wasn’t the hardest maze ever. These woods are pretty uneventful overall so I don’t have much to talk about. I eventually made it to a safe area with a Tomatee and a Quaverpole. 

This guy got a little philosophical. 

And then gave me a hint.

I already knew this because I read the discussion threads but it’s nice to meet the guy who tells you.

And this Quaverpole heals you up.

So I walked north after getting nice and refreshed. 

Good message by the way. Too bad that UFO didn’t follow it.

You’d think that path would go straight to the boss fight, but no, there’s a straight path with a bunch of creatures first. They zoom around really fast and got a couple sneak attacks on me.

Then I made it to this weird spot with a ton of screws in the ground. And I got ready!

And even more ready! I thought that was coming from the UFO! 

But no!

It was the Clud Brothers! :D I’m so happy they’re recurring characters. 

Anyway! Big Clud was ready to fight whoever is in this UFO, but Lil Clud decided that it might be better to try to reason with them. So Big Clud started to compliment the UFO's shape... and shape... ...and shape.

It worked!

But the alien doesn’t speak the language of the Disc Creatures world...

But Big Clud can speak alien?

Lil Clud didn’t expect this either and asked how that’s even possible.

And of course this was the explanation. 

After some more talking, and Big Clud asking Rogk to stop spreading scrap everywhere. And Rogk got mad. 

I took 20 screenshots of this whole exchange and I’m not going to post them all. So, Rogk is from a distant planet and he’s been spreading all that scrap as a gift. 

And Big Clud made things worse by saying that this resource just looks like regular old scrap. 

So the Clud Brothers did what they do best, shapeshift.

And try to sell me out. Rogk said that they’ll deal with the human first. Which relieved the Clud Brothers, but Rpgk clarified that they meant that they’ll be dealing with the brothers LATER.

Boss time!

I’M SO FREAKING GLAD I HAVE HELMSPLITTER

Okay! So here’s how this boss works. Those two Metwol take turns using Cover. The creature that uses Cover takes all the hits for that round. It’s Follow Me in Pokémon. I don’t know if I touched on this in a previous post, but refreshers are always nice. Metwol has ridiculously high defense and Helm Splitter greatly lowers it.

While being protected by these Metwol Rogk keeps upping their Mind and Barrier stats. So you need to take out the Metwol as quickly as possible. 

After finishing them off Rogk pops their arms off and uses Rock Blast. And that’s all they used at that point in my fight.

Rogk can also sometimes redirect attacks back to you. Chiba fell victim to this, sadly. But other than that, it was an easy boss fight.

All because of my Monoxe having a defense debuff. 

I think Rogk took their loss well.

Don’t give them any ideas!

And with a show of maturity, Rogk flew away.

Then the Clud Brothers left to do more cleaning. After they apologized to me for selling me out. They claimed it was part of a plan to throw Rogk off guard but I have my doubts. 

Anyway...

I can make my own alien now! I need a Puzz for this though...

So I went north and finally found it! The fabled tree!

I actually forgot the fruit was the goal for this episode...

But before going back home I decided to check out the creatures of the deep forest and found this guy! One of the poachers used one of these. 

And I tried the creature lottery and got something fitting.

I walked around town some more because I remembered that hint from earlier.

And a year ago when I first started this game I went to the deepest part of Junglan Woods to get this recipe. Turns out I didn’t need to do that. ;_;

So after cleaning up here I used fast travel to get to Pista Port to feed a fruit to a whale. 

I wandered around lost for a little while because it’s been a year. Eventually I found my way.

First off, I did not expect the Porka to look like this. That’s more of a narwhal than a whale. 

Secondly, who is this pink guy?

Well, I ignored pink guy and spoke to the fisherman.

And was offered a ride, but was told the Porka is sick. Thankfully I read the bulletin board and knew this so I had just what it needed. 

Teehee hee, look at this cutie. :3

Little guy was jumping for joy, which was an unusually high amount of energy for it according to the fisherman. 

Yes! A free ride to Mt. Azel!

If I ever need it.

You know where this is going.

Phangon sounds pretty awesome so I want to see this. After some talking Karl decided that he’ll be going to Mt. Azel with me. Also, pretty sure he’s supposed to be gay. There’s a lot of “Me oh my”s in his dialogue. And he’s pink. 

But whatever, as long as things stay in the fun campy gay department I think this character’s fine. 

Anyway, he went on ahead.

Apparently??? He ran off towards town, and not the Porka. But whatever.

LOOK AT THIS HAPPY FELLA! 

And I’m going to stop here because this post is very long. I also need to grind up some money. A 500 Pico item is required to get everything on Mt. Azel and I only have enough discs I’m willing to sell to get 375. So I need to grind in the lava tubes.

I also need 70 Pico for the next page of the Creaturepedia. 

[craniumhurricane]

sometimes you have to break a few

Based on a Tumblr post I saw like forever ago and thought I took a screenshot of but can’t find:

I was in Publix and saw this woman buying a shit ton of eggs in front of me, she turned and looked at me and said “I don’t actually like eggs, my daughter’s boyfriend cheated on her and I’m going to egg his car.”

Because Clarke would be that mom.

On AO3!

It's later in the night than Bellamy would usually be doing his grocery shopping but it's the only time he was able to carve out during his busy week. The Ark High Spring Fling dance was tomorrow and somehow he was roped into signing up to help on the party committee. (Scratch that, he knows how, it's because he can't say no to Miss. Vie.)

There's only two registers open and since one is reserved for customers with 10 items or less, Bellamy opts for the other. He's zoning out and going over his mental checklist for the next day when the golden hair of the woman in front of him comes into focus. He watches her as she attempts to juggle about a dozen cartons of eggs from her hands to the conveyor belt. There's something familiar about her hair…

And then he hears her cursing and mumbling under her breath and all at once it clicks.

“Clarke?”

She startles and Bellamy is honestly shocked she doesn’t drop any of her eggs. She turns around, eyes widening as she takes him in, “Bellamy?”

He smiles, can't help it, “Holy shit, it is you. What's it been? Six years?”

She's smiling too, “Give or take but who's counting.”

He hasn't been counting, not really, but Bellamy knows he hasn't seen Clarke Griffin since she and his little sister graduated high school. She went off to some prestigious college and Bellamy stayed in Arkadia. He tried to keep in contact with her but she must have gotten a new number and then his Facebook was hacked and he didn't see a reason to set up a new one. Basically, it just seemed like they naturally drifted apart.

Except here she is. Standing in front of him in line at his supermarket at 9:30 at night purchasing approximately 144 eggs.

He feels like he's been staring too long, all his thoughts and questions jumbling together, so he asks the first thing his brain sends to his mouth...

“Come here often?” and cringes immediately but Clarke snorts out a laugh so maybe it didn't sound as bad as he thinks it did. 

“Wow, that was awful,” she answers for him, but she's smirking. “Is that your way of asking if I've moved back to town?”

“Yeah, that's the appropriate way to word that question.”

She chuckles, “I've been back almost 2 years now. I got a job over at the physical therapy and rehab facility on Second.”

He tries not to let it show but he's surprised she's been back that long and he didn't know about it. Clarke was the same age as his sister but the two of them were always closer. He always thought that if she ever did come back that she would reach out. She must see something on his face though because she continues.

“I didn't know you were still in town, though!” she says in a rush. “I follow Octavia on Instagram and she seems to be as far from Arkadia as she can get. I assumed you'd be with her."

He shrugs, “Arkadia was always more my home than it was her’s.”

She ducks her head and tucks some hair behind her ear, "Yeah that seems right."

The cashier is done ringing up the eggs and calls for Clarke's attention; the poor woman only looks mildly alarmed by the purchase. Now, Bellamy’s seen enough movies to know that the cool thing to do in this situation would be to tell the cashier to ring up everything together and he’d pay for all of it… But that's a lot of fucking eggs.

Clarke pays and then to his surprise she waits for him at the end of the checkout line.

“I would ask if you were baking enough cakes to feed an army,” he says on the way out to the parking lot, “but for the Senior Year bake sale you definitely brought store bought brownies.”

She purses her lips at him for a second before exhaling in a huff, “No, these aren’t for baking. My daughter’s boyfriend cheated on her and I’m going to egg his car.”

The first thing he registers from that sentence is that she has a daughter. It’s only been six years so if she had a kid right after she left for college then at most they’d be in Elementary School. Egging a 5 year old’s car seems a bit excessive. And then the rest of the sentence hits him and he laughs.

“Finn Collins?”

"Old habits?” she smirks. “Clearly I haven't matured with age… and to be fair, that time it was Raven's idea."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "So you got a kid?"

He can see Clarke's face visibly light up at the question, despite the fact that it’s growing dark out.

“Madi, yeah," she says, "I fostered her for about a year and it was rough at first but we got through it and I think we both realized just how much we needed each other. I started the adoption process after that and then moved back here once it was finalized.” She pauses for a breath, thinks about it, and then adds, “She goes to Ark High actually."

He stops walking which makes her stop too. 

“Wait, Madi Griffin?” he asks and when all she does is tilt her head in confusion he clarifies, “I teach freshman at Ark High.”

She gapes at him. “You’re Mr. Blake!? Madi talks about you all the time.”

“She’s never had a class with me," he says, dubious.

“Yeah well, you’ve always been able to make an impression.”

And suddenly it feels like old times. Clarke saying something nice about him and him not quite knowing how to accept it. She used to do it often, and adamantly, and he never felt like he deserved the praise but it never stopped her from giving it. Just like before, he feels warmth spread through his chest.

“So,” she shrugs, “you want to come with me? For old time’s sake?”

He doesn’t normally believe in signs but it feels like the universe is definitely trying to tell him something. He wants to keep hanging out, wants to catch up on the last 6 years and see if any of those lingering feelings are still there. He considers her offer for probably a bit longer than he should before reasoning finally sets in.

“Tempting but unfortunately it’s a school night,” he says, mostly as a joke but it's true. “Besides, I don’t think it would look good if a teacher gets caught egging one of his student’s cars.”

“You don’t even know if he’s one of your students.”

“And if I’m not an accomplice to vandalism then I’ll never have to know.”

“Wow, look at Bellamy Blake all grown up.”

“Well, one of us had to,” he teases and then before he can chicken out, “Let me give you my number though. In case you need bail money.” 

“Wow. Smooth,” she smirks but she starts juggling her bags so she can take his phone.

“The smoothest,” he says when she hands it back. He sends her a quick text so she has his number and after that there's nothing left to do but leave.

“I'd give you a hug but,” she lifts her hands, laden with bags. And then he suddenly feels the weight of his own bags digging into his wrists.

“Next time,” he promises with a smile. “It was good to see you, Clarke.”

“You too. Bye, Bellamy.”

He almost makes it all the way to his car before he has to turn around and take one more look at her. It might be wishful thinking, but he thinks she's just turned back around from doing the same.

*

He contemplated texting Clarke all night but figured that would be creepy and make him seem eager, which he wasn’t. She texted him a thumbs up emoji while he was putting away his groceries, which he assumed meant she made it home alright. He hadn’t known how to respond to it last night any more then he knew how to respond to it the next morning.

So he just ignores it, or at least tries to. He has work and then the dance, so in theory plenty to keep him occupied.

Apparently, he had no reason to worry about social norms and the proper etiquette for responding to an emoji because Clarke shows up to the Spring Fling dance that night. She doesn't notice him so he avoids her and asks Maya about it instead, like an adult. Apparently she signed up to chaperone. He really should have paid more attention to this thing.

He’s about to go over and talk to her but Maya stops him and requests his help rehanging some decorations that fell down. After that she sends him off to his position at the refreshments table for the night and he completely loses sight of Clarke. He wants to go look for her but that would require abandoning his post and he doesn't trust these kids not to spike the punch bowl.

He’s not sure how much time has passed since time seems to speed up and yet stand still at these things. He also gets absorbed in his job and even chats with a few of his students as they stop by. He’s just confiscated a flask from Ethan Hardy when there’s a commotion over to his left.

“I know it was you!”

When Bellamy turns, he finally finds Clarke again. Unfortunately, it looks like she’s pissed off Nia Winters.

Nia Winters, or Queen Nia as many teachers call her behind her back due to the fact that she constantly gives this “I’m better than you and I have the attitude and money to prove it” vibe, is a long time parent of Ark High and tries to get her hands in every committee. Her eldest already graduated years ago, but now she has two more that go to the school. Bellamy will honestly be happy when they’re done with her and her overbearing “my child can do no wrong” parenting.

“I know it was you that threw eggs at my son's car!” she’s yelling at Clarke now and it doesn’t take long for Bellamy to connect the dots.

It must have been Nia’s son that cheated on Madi. Now that he thinks about it, he vaguely remembers hearing about them dating.

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Clarke replies, expression completely cool and unreadable.

“The hell you don't!” Nia gets right up in Clarke’s face. They’re starting to draw a little bit of attention so Bellamy slowly makes his way over, ushering kids to get back to the party as he goes.

“I wasn't near your son's car last night,” Clarke says, complete with a straight face that even Bellamy would believe if he didn’t know otherwise. And then she looks Nia right in the eyes and adds, “Though whoever did do it was probably justified.”

Nia rears back like she’s been slapped before settling into a position that Bellamy can only describe as a predator ready to pounce. “How dare-”

“Sorry to interrupt,” he says as he closes the distance with two long strides. There’s still a few students looking but at least they’re trying to be discreet about it. “Can I help with anything?”

Nia whirls around to look at him and thrusts a finger out a Clarke, manicured nail just inches from her chest. “I want this woman to admit what she's done and be removed from the premises so I can press charges.”

Clarke looks like she's about to say something but Bellamy cuts her off. “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid she's telling the truth.”

Both women turn to look at him, each with their own look of bewilderment and shock.

Nia looks from Bellamy to Clarke and back. “And how would you know that?” she asks defensively.

Clarke’s looking at him with that quizzical head tilt again. He meets her eyes for a second, hoping they’re still able to communicate without speaking and then turns his attention back to the other woman. “Because she was on a date with me last night.”

Nia’s jaw drops and out of the corner of his eye he can tell Clarke is biting the inside of her cheek to try and suppress a grin.

“W-Well,” the woman stutters.

“Maybe check with one of his other girlfriends,” Clarke says as she steps forward and puts her hand on Bellamy's arm. “From what I understand, it's a pretty extensive list. You might want to get started.”

And with that Clarke leads him back over to the drinks table, leaving Nia absolutely fuming. He’s afraid she’s going to try and follow them but she just stands there for a few minutes before marching towards the doors of the gym.

When they reach the table Clarke doesn’t remove her hand from his arm. “Thanks for the save,” she says, looking at the dancefloor, purposefully not meeting his eyes.

“Anytime,” he half shrugs. “But if you had told me that Madi was dating Queen Nia’s son last night then I probably would have helped you out.”

She finally turns and smiles up at him, “You got to help me out tonight though.”

There’s a pause again as they lull into a slightly awkward silence. Or maybe he just thinks it’s awkward. He’s afraid if he doesn’t fill it then she’s going to leave and then he’s right back where he started with a stupid thumbs up emoji.

“You know,” he starts to say and she looks back up at him. “Maybe we should grab dinner sometime. To make this whole dating thing more believable.”

“Wow, smooth,” she teases, but the effect is lost by how bright her smile is.

“We already established last night that I was smooth.”

She laughs and moves her arm to lace it properly through his. “Dinner sounds great.”

[allhailkingrooker51]

Sooo, I got Rookered again...

Soooo, I got Rookered again.  This time at Geek’d Con in Shreveport, La.  And just like the 1st time I saw Rooker, this time was just as amazing.  I went up to see him several times each day resulting in some pretty epic Rooker moments, and I'm gonna try my hardest to remember every detail.  So, without further ado, here’s the story of my 2nd adventure with the Rooker.   

A little intro before I get to the good stuff. 

First off, y’all have no idea how stoked I was that Rooker was coming to Shreveport!  I was afraid I wasn’t gonna get to see him this year.  He wasn’t coming to a con anywhere near me, and it’s an act of Congress for me to take off work to be able to travel to him.  Geek’d Con was pretty much my last chance.   

I had been watching Geek’d Con’s Facebook like a hawk hoping there might be a slim chance they would announce Rooker.  Then they started hinting and dropping clues for about a month that they had their biggest guest so far coming this year.  And every hint pointed directly to Rooker.  I knew it had to be him.   

One night, Geek’d Con posted on their Facebook page the last clue and that they would be announcing the guest at 8 am the next morning.  I hardly slept a wink that night.  I was too excited and failing miserably at trying not to get my hopes up.  Geek’d Con is not a big con, and even though Rooker likes Shreveport, I was afraid that it might be too small of a con for him to come to.    

Morning finally came, and I was awake way before my alarm.  I decided to get up and go into work early to wait for the announcement.  It’s not like I was sleeping anyways.  This next part might be a little too much info and a little weird, but I’m gonna tell it anyway.  While using my body wash in the shower that morning, a little bubble came out of the bottle and floated up in front of my face.  I blew on it a couple of times, just playing around, and watched the bubble drift higher in the air.  Then I followed it as it came back down again in front of my face, made a quick turn to my left, went around to my side, and landed smack dab on the cheek of my Rooker Skillset portrait tattoo on my left arm.  That bubble was like a Rooker heat-seeking missile, making a bee-line straight for him.  I took that as a sign.  It had to be Rooker. 

I finished getting ready for work and at 8 am on the dot, I checked Facebook.  No announcement yet.  I kept refreshing Geek’d Con’s page over and over again like a lunatic.  I swear it felt like an eternity.  Then at 8:03, I refreshed the page once again, and I saw Yondu.  My heart flipped, and I damn near dropped my phone.  Rooker was coming to Geek’d Con! 

I immediately took a screenshot, and with my hands shaking like crazy, told the Rooker Hookers first.  Then I texted my sister, my mom, my best friend, hell anyone that I could that Rooker was coming to Shreveport.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  For once, I was actually excited going to work.   

When I got to work, I showed my boss, who is also one of my best friends and who has to put up with my Rooker obsession more than anyone.  He was excited for me, and I convinced him to come meet him, too.  

So for the next 4 months, I waited and waited and waited for Geek’d Con to get here.  I ordered Rooker’s gifts, designed a special shirt to wear that Saturday, printed out some goofy Rooker pictures for him to sign, even had Rooker socks made.  When August 16th, finally arrived, I was ready. 

Friday, August 16th, 2019 

Geek’d Con was only open from 6 pm to 9 pm that Friday, but I had been told that Rooker would be there all 3 days, which meant I would be there all 3 days. So I took off work early and drove the almost 2 hours to my parent’s house, who live just outside of Shreveport.  I had been a nervous wreck all week.  I guess I was a little nervous about seeing Rooker again, but mostly I was nervous about getting all the gifts I had planned on giving him through security.   

I had to get into town early because I had a few errands to run before I picked up my friend, who had also gone with me to see Rooker in Houston last year.  One of the errands was picking up some dark chocolate-covered pretzels that I had ordered just for Rooker at a local chocolate store in town.  I hadn’t planned on bringing him pretzels since he gets those at cons all the time, but these were dark chocolate which I knew he liked the best.  And, boy, am I glad I decided to get them! 

I picked my friend up a little later, and we headed up to the convention center.  I wore one of my Rowdy Burns shirts and one of the pairs of socks I had made with Rooker’s face all over them (I had 4 pair, and I mixed and matched them each day, and of course, forgot to show Rooker any of them...AARRGH.)  That line getting in couldn’t go fast enough.  I was so excited to see him again! 

Again, my only worry was getting through security with Rooker's gift.  I’ll get to what the gift was a little later on, but the closer we got to bag check, the more anxious I got.  Luckily, we made it through without any problems. 

We headed inside and walked towards the back and found Rooker’s table.  He wasn’t out yet.  No biggie.  The doors had only been open about 30 minutes or so.  We walked around a little, and then found a table near Rooker’s booth.  We decided to just sit and wait until he came out.  Seven o’clock came.  No Rooker.  Eight o’clock came.  Still no Rooker.  At 8:40, they announced there were 20 minutes left before closing.  We headed out after that.  I admit I was bummed that he wasn’t there, but that just meant I’d have to go see him extra the next day. 

Saturday, August 17, 2019

Saturday morning, I was up and at ‘em early again.  My racing brain wouldn’t let me sleep.  But, I had to be up early anyway to go pick up the rest of Rooker’s gift for that day before the con opened at 10 am.

I had decided a while back that on the Saturday morning of the con, I was going to bring him a bunch of snacks, some from local places around town.  The pretzels and a bag of Zapp's Voodoo chips were a part of that, but I still had two more things to get.

I picked up my friend again and headed to a bakery that I swear makes the best cakes in the world and picked up the little, mini red velvet cake I had ordered for him.  We left there and drove alllll the way across town to get Rooker some donuts from Southern Maid (if you ever get the chance, definitely get donuts from there - they're not fancy but seriously they’re the best ever).  

When we got to the convention center, I put all of his snacks in a gift bag (with the no outside food/drink rule, I figured there was a better chance getting it all through security if it looked like an actual gift).  And it worked!  The snacks and the other gift made it through!  My nerves instantly calmed, and I was home free to finally see the Rooker.  

We immediately went towards the back to his booth, but he wasn’t out yet.  There were a good many people already waiting for him, but I didn’t want to get in line just yet.  I was hoping the crowd would kind of lessen just a little first so I would have some time to explain all the stuff I brought him.  We sat down at the same table as the night before and waited.  About 30 minutes later, there he was!

Omg, I was so excited to see him!  He was wearing black jeans, a black shirt, and his Atlanta Metro Studios cap.  And no shades!  Which is very important when one of your favorite things about Rooker is those damn eyes of his.

We waited about 10 more minutes, but the line never got smaller.  I decided it was now or never and went to get in line.  

While we were waiting in line, there was a person in an inflatable T-Rex costume nearby that had a sign for “Free Hugs".  You probably already know what happened when Rooker saw it.  He escaped from his table and hugged that T-Rex so hard his cap fell off.  

When we finally got to his helper, she noticed the shirt I was wearing and busted out laughing and took a picture of it.  I was hoping Rooker would have the same reaction.

The person in front of me finally got through, and it..was..my..turn.  Surprisingly, I was still very calm.  I walked up to Rooker and said, “Hey, Rooker, you remember me?”  He said, “I do!” I put the gift bag of snacks and his other gift on the table in front of him and he busted out laughing.

“What is all this?!”  

“I brought you a bunch of snacks in case they don't feed you good here.”

I started to tell him what was in the bag and that's when he noticed my shirt.  Awhile back when Rooker had first started growing his hair out again, Sean Gunn had posted a picture of Rooker with his hair all crazy and called him an “international sex symbol” in the caption.  So, naturally, I had that same picture printed on a shirt with the same caption.  He laughed when he saw it and said, “Ya' know, not many men can pull off that look.”  He took his cap off and started pulling his hair in all directions.  His curls were a little wild.  I said, “I know, but you pull it off really well.”  He was still playing with his curls and I wanted to touch his hair so bad.  So I went for it.  I said, “Can I touch ‘em, I gotta touch ‘em, Rooker.”  He leaned over and I grabbed a handful of his hair.  It's so soft, y'all!

After the hair touching moment, we went back to discussing his snacks. I said, “I brought you some of the best donuts in the world and…”  That’s when he saw a fork in the bag and asked what it was for.  “For this.”  I pulled out the little mini cake and told him it was red velvet (which I had read a long time ago was his favorite).  Y'all he smiled and laughed the whole time.

He immediately came around the table and gave me a huge hug and said I was too sweet always bringing him stuff.  Then it just kind of slipped out of my mouth.  I didn’t even realize I had said it ‘til it was too late.  As he's still hugging me and telling me how nice I am and that I don't have to bring him stuff, I said “Well, I love you, Rooker.  You’re my favorite person in the world.”  Good God, I told Michael Rooker I loved him to his face.  And I don’t really say that to anybody.  Looking back now, though, I'm glad I did.  That man makes my world go round, and I want him to know that.  

After he hugged me and still laughing, he walked over to my friend, grabbed her face in his hands, and said “She always like this?  Bringing presents and stuff?”  She said yes and Rooker laughed again.

I went over to the bag and pulled out the little box of chocolate covered pretzels.  I said,” Look, Rooker, I wasn’t gonna bring you pretzels ‘cause I know you get them all the time, but these are dark chocolate ones I had made especially for you."

He grabbed the box, opened it, held it out for the people in line to see and said, “Aww, look everyone.”  That's when one of the best things that's ever happened to me happened.

Rooker took one of the pretzels and held it up to my mouth for me to take a bite.  Unfortunately, I had just gotten a piece of mint gum from my friend not 10 minutes earlier.

I said, “Ew, Rooker, no I have gum.”

I shoulda known Rooker wasn’t gonna take ‘no' for an answer.

He grinned and pushed the pretzel further towards my mouth, "Take a bite.”

So I did.

As soon as my mouth touched that pretzel, he leaned in and took a bite out of the other side at the same time.  We ‘Lady and the Tramp'd’ that pretzel.  His mouth was like inches away from mine.  Gotta admit, I was a little shocked, but I laughed, he laughed, hell his whole line was laughing.  I'm sure my face was redder than a tomato.

As I’m still chewing the now disgusting combination of chocolate pretzel and mint gum growing into an oddly textured rubbery substance in my mouth, he says “Here, lemme have it" and he holds his hand out for me to..spit..my..gum..out..in..his..hand.  

I said, “Ew, Rooker, I'm not gonna do that …it’s ok, I'll suffer.”  He laughed again.

Still trying to recover from that moment, I realized I still hadn’t shown him his other gift.  We walked closer to the table, and he said, “What is this?”   I said, “You remember last year I gave you the shot glass?”  He said yes.  I opened the box and said, “Well, I got you these to kind of go with it.”  This time I had gotten him two whiskey glasses made with .45 caliber bullets molded into the side (hence the reason I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get them through security).  On one glass, I had “I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!” etched, and the other with an ‘R' and ‘Rooker’.  He loved them.  He said they were beautiful and took each one out and showed it to everybody.  He looked at me and said, “At least they’re .45s.  That's the only thing that'll stop a Jack and Coke.”  He made himself giggle.  It was great.  

He ended up giving me like a gazillion hugs the whole time and then told me that I got to pick out a picture for him to sign.

I laughed and said, “No, it's ok, Rooker.  I don't bring you stuff to get free autographs.  I have some stuff for you to sign in my bag anyway so I'll be back in a little while.  You know you gotta put up with me all weekend.”  

He laughed again and before I walked away, I lifted up my sleeve and asked him if he remembered my “Sexy Thanos" tattoo as he called it last time.  He said, “Yeah, I remember and that ain’t sexy Thanos, that's sexy Rooker.”

I don’t think I could have smiled any bigger than I was when I walked away from his table. 

A little while later was photo ops.  I had bought one for Saturday and Sunday.  His line stretched almost the entire length of the convention center.  You could definitely tell that Rooker was the star of Geek'd Con.  

The whole time we were waiting in line, Rooker would periodically stick his head out of the curtain and pull the curtain up tight around his face to where his face was all that was showing.  I tried to get a picture cause it was adorable as hell, but as soon as I would get my phone out, he would disappear behind the curtain again.

When it was my turn to take the picture, I went up to Rooker and he put his arm around me and I did the same to him.  Here's where it gets really good.

Usually, photo ops go by insanely fast.  Like seconds fast.  But for some reason, there was a delay between my photo and the one before.  Rooker's event manager was talking to the photographer about something so that left me and Rooker to ourselves for a moment.

If y'all don't know yet, Rooker in a backwards baseball cap is THE sexiest thing on the planet to me.  Last year, he wore one of his Penman hats so I didn’t get to ask him this.  This year, I said ‘fuck it’ and went for it.

With him standing right next to me with his arm still around me, I leaned over and said, “Rooker, will you do me a favor?”

He turned towards me, his face inches away from mine, and looked right in my eyes and said, “What's that baby?”

I..could..have..died..right..then..and..there.  The feeling of Rooker that close to you.  His eyes staring right into your soul.  Lawd help me.

I said, “Will you turn your hat around backwards?”

He gave me a slow grin and said, “Yeah, baby.”  He turned his cap around but kind of looked a little confused.

I said, “I like it better that way.  It's hotter like that.”  Yeah, I still can’t believe I said that, too.  But I felt I needed to explain why I asked him.

He laughed and grabbed me in a big bear hug, the kind that almost knocked both of us over.  He said,” Oh, that gets you all hot, huh?”  I said, “Uh, yeaaah."  Fuck it.  I was being honest.  He busted out laughing again, but it was time to take the photo.  So we straightened up and I said, “Now you gonna have me blushing.”  He grinned and said, “I know, it's great.”

We took the photo and he hugged me again and then held my hand and said ‘thank you, baby’.  His event manager asked if he had seen my shirt.  He laughed and said yes, and held my hand ‘til I really had to walk away.  

We immediately got back in his line so I could get my first autograph.  This time, I had him sign one of his old headshots which was him as Zeedo from The Replacement Killers.  

Time for a little backstory.  A couple of years ago, I got a new dog and named him Rooker.  Last year I showed Rooker a meme I had made with him and my dog.  He got a kick out of it.  Well, almost two months ago, I rescued another dog that had been living in horrendous conditions at a puppy mill in south Louisiana.  From the first time I saw this dog, I knew he was supposed to be mine.  I got approved for his adoption, named him Zeedo, and he became one of my pack.

Now back to Rooker.  When it was my turn, I went up to him and gave him the Zeedo headshot to sign.  I pulled out my phone and said, “Rooker, you remember last year I showed you my dog, Rooker?  Well, I adopted another dog last month and named him Zeedo.”  I showed him a picture of him.

He said, “Aww.” He looked back down at the headshot and said, “Zeedo frommm?”  He couldn’t think of the name of the movie. I said,” The Replacement Killers.”

He laughed,” Yes! The Replacement Killers! You know when I grow a goatee like that now, it’s definitely not that color anymore.”

He then noticed the packet of headshots and other pictures I was holding in my hand.  He grabbed them and started flipping through them saying he was gonna sign another.  I said, “No, you signed all those last time.”  He said, “I'm not gonna sign all of them, just my favorite one.”  He pulled out the hot young headshot and signed it again and then said something about his resume on the back.  And I still forgot to ask him about clown training!  I’m so mad at myself!

Another backstory - I need to mention that earlier one of my mom's old co-workers had found us at Geek'd Con.  She knew I loved Rooker and had been messaging me about him a couple of months before Geek'd Con.  She stood with us in line during the Zeedo headshot signing.  Before we got to Rooker, we were talking about going to his panel which was in a couple of hours.  She had never met Rooker before or been to one of his panels.  I told her how Rooker doesn’t play by the rules, and there was no way he was gonna sit at the table on the stage.  I don’t think the Geek'd Con folks really had any idea what they were getting themselves into with Rooker, and I was super curious to see how his panel would be.

While Rooker was signing his old headshot, my mom’s co-worker asked him how old he was in that photo.  He figured he was in his early to mid-20s.  That original 1991 press photo I have of Rooker with his soda and popcorn at a movie premiere was also in the stack of headshots.  He saw it and I said, “Aww, lookit that baby.”  He laughed, “Yeah, that young, hot baby.”  I said, “Oh, Rooker, you’re still hot.”  

He gave me a tight, squishy sideways hug and we said our goodbyes for the moment.

We snuck in late to the panel before his to try to get a good seat.  My boss had also texted me in the meantime that he and his wife were on their way.  They weren’t sure they would be able to come that particular day, but they ended up making it just in time for his panel.  

Rooker’s panel was full of typical Rooker shenanigans.  And just as I had expected, Rooker never sat down at the table and lasted about 7 minutes pacing on the stage before he jumped off and ran out into the audience taking questions.

After his panel, we rushed back to Rooker’s booth one last time before he left for the day.  I couldn’t wait for my boss to meet Rooker.  You know how Rooker and James Gunn are together?  Best friends who are constantly bullshitting one another?  That’s exactly how me and my boss are.  And for the longest time, I’ve been telling my boss every time he fucks with me that someday I would get Rooker to beat him up.  Now, they would both be in the same room, and I could finally get Rooker to ‘beat him up’.  

I had Rooker sign that goofy picture of him behind the scenes of “Super”.  He said, “Hey, it’s Super!  I was just talking about Super!  Lookit that expression!”, talking about the silly face he was making.  After he signed the picture, I pointed to my boss and said, “Rooker, I need you to beat him up for me.”

“Whhhhy?”

“Because he’s my boss and he’s mean to me and I always tell him that I’m gonna get you to beat him up.”

Rooker told my boss to give him his hand.  My boss thought he was asking to shake his hand, but instead, Rooker takes my boss’s hand and starts smacking the back of it while saying ‘Bad! Bad! Bad!’ like he was scolding a little kid.  

We said goodbye after that and I told him that I’d be back tomorrow to see him again.  I also said, “I have some more things to give you.”  He misheard me and said, “WHAT?  You have more things to do?!” like he was upset or sad I wasn’t coming to see him.  I busted out laughing and said, “Noooo, more things to give you.”  He smiled really big and said “Ohhh..omg more stuff?" and called me a doll and said I was too sweet.   And that was the end of the epic first day.

Sunday, August 18th, 2019 

My friend couldn’t come with me to Geek'd Con on Sunday due to work so I drug my 10-year-old niece along.   She didn’t mind though.  She loves superhero movies and she knows who Rooker is because of me.   Plus, I bribed her by telling her I would buy her something while we were there. 

We got to the convention center right when the doors opened at 11 that morning, and after going through security, went straight to Rooker’s booth.  He was already out and there weren’t that many people in line at that time, so I decided to go ahead and go see him.  I had my Bud Melks poster for him to sign and another gift to give him. 

As soon as we got to Rooker, someone brought him another cup of coffee.  I had to wait for him to pour his new coffee into his old cup, laughing and watching him almost spill coffee all over the place.  When he was done, he asked, “Whatcha got?” talking about the poster I had in my hand.  I unrolled my Bud poster out in front of him and said, “You remember I have your Bud coveralls?  I’m gonna frame this to hang up, too.”   

“Yes, you do.  Oooh, this looks nice.”  He held the poster up for everyone to see, and then asked everyone in line if they had seen Belko.  I don’t think anyone said yes.  He laughed and joked, “Well don’t, it’s terrible!”  The line had gotten somewhat longer behind me so I decided to give him his gift a little while later so I wouldn’t take up any more time. 

My niece and I walked around some, and I made good on my promise of buying her something.  When we came back around, there were only like 2 or 3 people in Rooker’s line so I went up to give him a gift.  This one needed a little explaining. 

I went up to Rooker and gave him one of those Yondu car air fresheners I had posted to my tumblr and Rooker Facebook pages awhile back.  He said, “Aww, what is this?”  I told him how I had found these Yondu air fresheners a couple of months ago and that I had posted them to FB and IG.  I almost didn’t want to tell him that I had a Rooker FB page, but I kinda had to.  I said, “I have a Rooker FB page called All Hail King Rooker.” 

He said, “All hail what?” 

“King Rooker.” 

He busted out laughing.  “Ahh, King Rooker. Okay.” 

“Ok, so, I posted these on my Rooker FB, and Kim (who runs the Rookerholics FB page) commented on the picture saying that you needed some for your Airstream.  So, I was like ‘yesss, he needs some for his Airstream!’  So, I go to buy you some, but they were sold out.  And they’ve been sold out ever since.  Soooooo, I’m giving you my extra one.” 

He loved it and said, “Awww.  Thank you, baby.”  He took it out of the package and put it together. 

I then told him that I had taken out the air freshener thingy ‘cause it was shit and never worked but the little Yondu still looks cool. 

We talked a little more and he came around the table to give me another hug.  He then asked my niece her name and held out his hand for her to shake it.  He teased her a little bit about not shaking his hand hard enough so he taught her how to shake hands properly but not too hard that it would break his hand.  I explained to him that she was my niece and that I didn’t have any adult supervision anymore.  He laughed and told my niece not to let me get in any trouble.  I told him, “You know the only trouble I’d be getting into is over here with you, Rooker.”  He laughed again and gave me another hug, telling me how sweet how I was.  And I did it again, y’all.  While he still had his arms around me, I said, “I love you, Rooker.  And, I’ll be back later to give you more stuff.”  He said, “Dammit, woman!” as he pulled away and I left his line again smiling like an idiot. 

I had another photo op a little later, but not much happened during that one.  I mean other than the fact that I got to stand close to him again with his arm around me and he held my hand as I walked away, but... 

It was nearing the end of the afternoon and Rooker had another round of photo ops at 3 pm.  The con closed at 5 and I was afraid he might be leaving after his photo ops.  I decided to go get in his line one last time and do the thing I had been dreading all weekend, saying goodbye. 

I had him sign a couple more pictures, one being a photo of him from Thief, which he filmed in Shreveport.  He was like ‘Oooh, Thief.”  I said, “Yep, you signed my Super (which was also filmed in Shreveport) pic yesterday and Thief today.”  He told me he still has the suspenders he wore in that photo.  I asked if he remembered me telling him that my stepdad was a cop and that he had been working on the set of Thief and met Rooker years ago.  He said yeah, and I explained to him that my stepdad had just retired from the force after like 30 years or so and that his retirement party was in a couple of weeks and it was being held at the same place that he filmed his last scene in Thief.  (The place is actually an event hall and my sister works there now.)  He thought that was pretty cool.  I also had him sign the crazy-haired “International Sex Symbol” picture, too.   

His line started to get really long and I felt like I needed to hurry, so I gave him the last few things I had for him, a Shreveport Police Dept. patch, a Shreveport Fire Dept. patch, and a Matchbox car of a Shreveport Police cruiser.  I explained the stuff really quick and said, “This is it, Rooker.  I gotta go.  This is all I got.  I won’t be coming back anymore.”  He grabbed me up in another tight hug that nearly knocked us off balance, and said, “Me neither!”  I said, “Noooo, Rooker, you have to come back.  Please!”  He laughed and said he would.  He then pointed to my niece and said that she’d be full-grown next year when he’s here.  I told him goodbye and walked away one last time.  

I swear it was like instant depression walking away from his table knowing that I wouldn’t be seeing him again.  And I know he calls a lot of people ‘baby’ or ‘sexy’ or any of his other pet names and gives hugs to everybody, but damn if he doesn’t make you feel special.  It’s like no one else exists but the two of you when he’s talking to you.  He makes me forget, if just for a moment, all the negative thoughts that I have about myself, the depression, the way I’ll never be good enough for anyone.  He makes me truly..happy, and no one else on earth makes me feel the way that he does.  And I hope that he knows that.  Walking away from him is seriously one of the hardest things to do. 

So, again, that’s it.  That’s my second adventure with the Rooker, the most beautiful person inside and out in the entire world.  I’m not sure when I’ll get to see him next, but if it’s up to me and written in the stars, there will be a next time.  I already have some more gift ideas (gotta keep up my sugar mama ways) and another pretty epic shirt design that I think he’ll get a kick out of.  So, until next time, farewell y’all! :) 

[ebiyoru]

second of january, 0102

woke up empty.

met tine and nives @ rob around 2 pm (saw lester on the way to rob) 

ate at bonchon with them.

forgot to give the red ribbon i bought for nives.

> decided to go back home.

drove ate bot jai nash back home.

stopped by starbucks on the way home.

met coach ichan.

the happy tomato i was.

hello.

i know, i’m really bad at maintaining this. maintaining anything. but hey, here i am, 7 days after, trying to relive the best moments i had for this blog’s day, with my oh-so-reliable short term memory.

i’ll try to remember. i swear i will.

so this is the day after the grand moving, right? well, the last day i was so drained and can barely even think so i plopped on the cushion right away. i woke up hours later to eat and watch a movie (Split; tldr it was a nice movie and p.s i watched it while looking at my phone for subs). my mom wasn’t with us that night. she stayed with my dad as they knew more about each others’ real feelings. i knew she was contemplating everything at that point. in the early morning, around sunrise, i can hear my mom and elder sister talking in the adjacent room. i was not in my right senses to listen intently in whatever topic they have, so i just unconsciously listened to their voices and slept some more.

so when i woke up the next morning, maybe around 9:00 a.m??, i stayed for a bit on the cushion, checking twitter updates on my phone because what else can a depressed and drained young adult do in these kinds of situation? later on, i found out my sister’s boyfriend is still with us. then i remember he didn’t have any work that day since it is a government holiday. and my younger sister is still beside me, sleeping.

i finally had the motivation to get up and wash myself when i remembered my plan in the afternoon with my close friend whom i haven’t seen for so long. i stayed inside the bathroom for an hour and so while scrolling through my twitter feed because again, i’m depressed and drained.

i....strangely found comfort in the groups i stan. it’s like they’re in a world free of all the drama, free of all these problems. with all the happy moments they’re showing on screen, it seems like they have a carefree life. it’s strangely comforting to think that such a world exists, although i know what they have off-screen might be the total opposite.

later on, my mom arrived at the apartment the moment i stepped out of the bathroom (apparently, they went to the market; “they” implying my mom went with my dad). i get dressed and prepped myself for my meeting. later on, i can hear ate bot, my mom and kuya adrian talking in the living room about my dad.

my mom feels sympathy towards my father who needs help. even after all the horrible things my dad has done, there’s no denying he’s still our family. we are the ones who can help him through this. through everything. ate bot and kuya adrian understands this as well, and they genuinely comfort my mom. 

for me, i’ve always seen my dad as someone who wants to be seen as a tough man, even though he really wanted to be a fun and reachable dad. he basically is someone who is bad at expressing himself. i myself believes he almost has no control on how he handles his emotions, and i’ve been patient with him as much as i can. but i know i’m also guilty of not properly conveying my thoughts to him. of not talking to him most of the time. and how much i thought i hated him when the worst of these past few days showed his worst sides.

but hearing their conversation brought back my beliefs on how my dad probably thinks. i’ve been in those tough times too, and it sucks. when a demon resides in your brain, sometimes all you can do is surrender. 

but in this case, we can be that helping hand to him. we can be someone who can shoo away the demon, who can keep our hold tight on his arm and get him away of that darkness.

so after that, i walked to the station with kuya adrian. he’s off to fetch my sister because apparently, she had an ulcer attack at work and needed to go home earlier. when i got off the jeepney and was walking to the overpass, i saw a familiar figure walking towards my direction. his tallness, physique, and face is something that i can never forget, i guess. 

i saw L, and he’s carrying bags in both his hands.

i walked past him and looked at him as i continued walking. he wasn’t looking. though maybe he noticed. 

some time later, i went on to meet tine. i brought my gifts for her and her son. i saw her with nives sitting beside a waffle stall in our local mall. when i saw her, i laughed as much as i can and eventually felt like not a single bad thing is happening to me that day. tine and nives were an instant mood booster that day.

when nives saw me, she immediately showed affection to me, as if he’d known me for so long. i grew attached to him that fast too.

we ate at bonchon and catched up with each other. we were supposed to meet with wayne a few days before but our plan didn’t see the light of day. so we were kinda disappointed. but the whole time, she told me all her worries at that time and i didn’t get a chance to tell mine. or maybe i really just didn’t want to. maybe this is something i can dwell inside of me alone.

i enjoyed my time with the both of them. i have this level of comfort with these close bestfriends of mine that i can’t quite explain. it’s as if we only met yesterday. it’s as if all those years were nothing and we just saw each other again like usual. i love that. i will treasure that.

i also love how nives was comfortable to play with me that day. i’ve only seen him maybe 3 times but that little boy is just really charming and lovable. i kinda thought that maybe i can work in a daycare someday. lol that’s a passing thought that i let pass by the way. 

i want to remember what i noticed are things nives like and dislike: he likes potato fries, cookies, yakult (yogurt drink), sweet drinks, balloon and toys and the color red. he dislikes sauces, any green stuff, meat (because of his still growing teeth), and her mommy going anywhere far from his sight.

he’s also a boy who’s great at making people laugh, he wants to sit on people’s laps and lean, and he likes feeding other people. i can vouch for the last one lol.

moments later, we parted ways and my stupid self forgot to give my other gift to them (the pasalubong bundle i bought from red ribbon so nives can eat them at home).

going back to the apartment, i received messages from my sister asking me if we wanted to go back home. for me, i’m okay with it. i mean, not to come clean or anything, i didn’t even propose anything about this whole moving agenda. i legit didn’t know about this plan not until they started sending screenshots of available apartments on the gc. not until we went there with ate leth and family. so of course, i’m okay with going back home. because i believe to resolve all this, we need to face it with all of our hearts.

after my mom’s long, unfiltered talk with ate bot and kuya a., and the humble approach of my elder sister, we all decided to come back home. if i can call it home after all these. when kuya a. came home with ate jmr that afternoon, and after i came back from my meeting with tine, we drove ate bot and her sons home. lj was also with us.

the long ride was hushed but joyful, with occasional laughter here and there. wonders of how the heck any of these happened. i can feel there’s something that changed, but it’s for a slowly changing and growing family. 

on the way home, we stopped by petron stopover to freshen up a bit. it was an early evening but we still opted to go to starbucks. remembering tine’s pasalubong for me, i took the box of chocolates with me to the cafe. (which later on was almost forgotten on a distant table near the queue, yikes). 

upon entering, and a few strides, i saw a familiar figure in my left peripheral vision. i can sense it. i turned my head and there i saw coach ichan. i was hesitant at first to check if it’s him when he immediately stood up from his seat when he saw me looking at him. remembering it now, i’m quite sure he’s the one who noticed first, and that fluttered my heart.

i was beaming with joy. i can’t believe someone from my childhood, from my early teenage, passionate years, still remembers me and my mom and my sister. i immediately called my mom to show her and he immediately hugged her. he asked me a few questions before returning back to his seat. we then proceeded looking for empty tables and waiting in queue. i was still smiling oh, so loudly. 

later my sister suggested i go take a picture with him. i was shy at first but he’s someone i adored when i was 10/11 so it would be a waste not to have a proof of this day, which at first was the worst to ever wake up to but really refreshing to end. i walked up to their table (he’s with friends) and asked for a picture which he gladly obliged. (we used my sister’s phone). again he asked me some questions, and one of those was “what’s your facebook again?” in which i answered, “oh, don’t worry. we’re already friends, [coach]”. 

“oh, avhi anganangan, right?” 

......i’m//

he.....

        remembered

  my

 last nn

ame 

name

BITHC

i was overwhelmed to know he REALLY remembered me after, what, 10 or so years and even so MY FORKING LAST NAME. that’s a big deal to me. and for it to come from someone in one of the most important parts of my pre-teenage years. 

i...kinda want to ask a few questions to him too. maybe catch up a bit. but he’s with his friends so i hesitated.

after we finished our drinks, we drove to the apartment again. we picked up the things we needed for the night. 

kuya a. asked to be dropped off the first gate. we drove back home after.

dad was waiting. he accepted us. we did too. i guess. though my elder sister was still quite stiff. 

a lot of sorry’s were exchanged. he ruffled my hair.

and it was a rough day. and a rather tiring night.

i just want to remember this as the day i get to see three of the people who made me extremely happy whenever i see them.

[see below for my photo with tine and baby nives also my photo with coach ichan hhhhhhh ]