#i went a little while not drawing them so time to relearn it lol

[baalzebufo]

gettin back into the swing of doodling them video game men I like

[haljathefangirlcat]

MOR mozalieri angst and galadred jb 👀

OH MY GOD ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU’RE INTO MOR TOO SDFGHJKLSDFGHJKLK

... ahem. These are both really short because I jotted them down as a spur of the moment thing  and I have absolutely no idea when or if I’ll actually make something out of them. So I’m just gonna post everything I wrote for them since it counts as “a little snippet” anyway, lol.

The first one is angsty af and entirely the fault of that part of L'Assasymphonie where Salieri is playing with the knife while ranting about his impostor syndrome and his inferiority complex. Uh, and Le Bien Qui Fait Mal, too, but that goes without saying. If it ever went anywhere, it would probably include very pained love/professional admiration confessions, a idiots in love/mutual pining “wait, no, I’m pining for you but you wouldn’t even look at me!” “are you kidding me, I’m the one pining but I thought you hated me!” moment, and PLENTY of hurt/comfort. I have absolutely no idea about anything else, though, because I don’t even know where or when even the scene I came up with is set... which would be a pretty important thing to know, from a practical standpoint, tbh.

TW FOR SELF-HARM AND VIOLENT IMAGERY

He’d only ever thought of what it was like to love like that. To feel the bright-bladed knife plunge and twist and dig inside his chest, tenderly cut through quivering flesh and sinew, saw his ribcage open to open up his heart to the burning beauty and white-hot light streaming in from above. To seek that pain and hide away from that pleasure, and curse the man who was the cause of both while cursing himself for letting him hold such power over him, for loving him and for hating him, for always failing to live up to him, to be like him.

He’d never spared one thought to consider what it might be like to be loved like that. To be made aware that your very existence was a spring of endless suffering for one who claimed to feel an ever-growing affection for you, to be made into an obsession in the black of night and an ivory idol bathed in golden sunrises, to become an inescapable curse. To have that much power, and not rejoice in it or even want it. To not be cruel enough to stomach it.

Mozart didn’t need to mock him with his brash laugh or hurl cold words at him. It was the softness in his voice that made guilt well up in his gut like pouring venom into a bowl until it overflowed; it was the sadness in his gaze that cooled his heart until he shivered. It was his own shame at himself, washing over him once again in new, sudden, crashing waves for new, sudden, piercing reasons, that brought him down on his knees, brought his head in his hands.

And Mozart, he came down to him. He lowered himself and crouched on the floor to reach him. Put his arms around his shoulders for a moment, then drew back and took Salieri’s wrists in his hands, holding them gently, gingerly. Scared, or disgusted, or perhaps just careful not to stain himself with his blood. It was starting to cool. It felt sticky, dirty.

«Come with me,» Mozart said, and drew Salieri’s hands away from his face. Some distant part of Salieri’s mind felt he should not allow that so easily, but the rest of him just felt tired, so he did. How strange that even though he was the one shaking, his breath ragged and hitching, it should be Mozart to cry. He wanted to laugh at the sight, but found he couldn’t. He could only let himself be dragged up to his feet, and then into a chair when he started feeling lightheaded.

He even obediently raised his hand and stayed put as Mozart ran to fetch warm water, soap, and clean cloth.

The second one is, once again, inspired by one of your fics. ;) Remember when you wrote that artist!Jaime/tattoo artist!Brienne fic where they bonded over Arthurian characters and I was like, “someone should introduce both of them to the concept of Galahad/Mordred because they’d love it so much for their own different reasons?” Ideally, this should be the fic where they actually get introduced to it... if it ever went somewhere.

The basic plot would be: “Jaime was overjoyed when he found out he could pour his old love for all things Arthurian AND his passion for drawing into fandom. His first fanart were all very dramatic, very romantic Mists of Avalon -inspired Arthur/Morgana pieces because he identified with that due to his ‘fated’ relationship with C., but as that started to go sour, he branched out into edgy, purposefully badwrong Arthur/Morgause stuff. Eventually, he found out about Galahad/Mordred and got really into the whole ‘doomed man on the path to making all the wrong choices finds redemption through connecting with another misfit with a high moral drive and noble nature who may have his own issues but believes there’s something good in him for some reason’ aspect of it. That’s when Brienne, budding fanwriter mostly into gen stuff due to romance bringing back bad memories, found his art and unexpectedly got hooked to the whole ‘noble-hearted and justice-loving misfit can’t really connect with anyone on a deeper level until he meets snarky, sad not-so-doomed man who actually sees HIM beyond both the brave knight thing and the ‘will never fit in anyway’ thing’ aspect. Now, they regularly chat through comments and tags and the occasional message. But things get more complicated when Jaime, who actually lost a hand in an incident years ago and had to relearn to draw after that while suffering the ableism of the usual suspects, finds the courage to post selfies on his blog both with and without his prosthetic hand to show the world and himself that the hardships he had to overcome don’t mean he’s less of a person or less of an artist or less in any way. That’s when Brienne goes from finding him interesting and funny and actually pretty charming to finding him HOT. Which scares her a whole lot due to her past experiences. But that’s okay because they’ll never see each other irl anyway, right? Unless they find out they actually live in the same city and Jaime asks her to meet to work on a collaboration they’ve been thinking of for a while but never really got to work on until now...”

And here’s what I currently have:

But then Mordred is staring at him again with those too-green eyes of his, except that this time there’s no mockery or coldness in them, and Galahad’s been warned again and again not to get too close to him and he’s been told over and over that he can’t trust him, but now he thinks that maybe, maybe he really does understand –

 Brienne stares at her screen. She actually described Mordred’s eyes as gray. Didn’t she? Usually, she picks dark gray, or dark brown, or dark. And yet, in this one story, they’re suddenly green.

Okay, time to take a break from revising. She gets up from her chair, rolls back her shoulders, and goes to grab a snack and a glass of water. She tries not to wonder what’s gotten into her – but she doesn’t really need to anyway, because she has a feeling she already knows.

Not that there’s anything bad about it. In a way, it only makes sense. He’s the artist who got her into the ship in the first place, and they’ve had a few pleasant conversations in the notes to his posts and, eventually, in the comments to her fics. So, it’s not that big of a deal if she associates him with these characters. And… well, recently he’s started posting selfies on his tumblr. And fine, she might have some sort of pathetic little celebrity crush – is that even the right term? Is he a Tumblr celebrity? – on him. Truth to be told, it’s not even as pathetic as the crushes she’s had when she was still in school, because at least he’s never insulted her or made fun of her looks, and she’s reasonably sure he wouldn’t even if he ever had the chance to. Which he won’t get, but anyway…

Anyway.

Apparently, the lines might blur when she’s distracted. Big deal.

[ss-trashboat]

5, 12, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 22, 27, 29, 30 ~ (for the artist asks!)

5. What’s your favorite thing to draw? people definitely, big lean towards bois right now. i just really love drawing muscles and anatomy and the like. we don't have the name of "trashboat" for nothing lol

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process? absolutely! i don't know how much i could explain it, but i'm always game to try! so yeah anyone please feel free to ask away if you're curious about anything ~

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete? oof this is so hard for me to answer, cause i never sit right down and do something in one go. it mostly depends on how much time i have and how focused/inspired i am to finish something. i take a long time i will say that tho lol

16. Do you draw more today than you did in the past, or do you draw less? it really depends on how far in the past we mean. like during school/college i drew a fuckton so less now compared to then. but comparing to last year i feel like i've done a lot more this year. definitely blaming on my refound love for wrasslin as i've been doing a lot of fan art lately and oc sketches

18. What are you currently trying to improve on? perspectives is the main thing currently, which is why i'm trying out different views and poses lately, but also definitely backgrounds. whether it's scenery or just something to give it a little more personality

19. What is the most difficult thing for you to draw? scenery, animals, and backgrounds are the main. for people it's legs and feet

20. What is the easiest thing for you to draw? i don't really know. i don't really find anything easy honestly. everything can have some difficulty once in a while

22. Are you confident that you’re improving steadily? if you asked me this last year i would've laughed and said no. now tho? absolutely. especially with doing fan art lately of subjects i've drawn before (not recently but i did a redraw for a con art) it's showing a ton with improvements. and just. trying out new subjects and actually having them look like them is still holy shit to me. and me a few years back wouldn't have been able to do that. it's so surreal still but very much riding the high and looking forward to what we do next

27. For digital artists: how many layers does a typical piece require? so many layers LOL. there's always three: sketch, line, and the darker color backdrop so i can do lighter colors, but all in all it's usually around 25-40 layers depending on the piece, as i do every color block and shading separately

29. For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc) light sketch. just start with some lighter shapes to play around with features and then we head dive in. darken the sketch as i get confident it's working and go from there ~

30. What inspires you to not just make art, but to be a better artist? oof. i don't really know. like, this is something i've always wanted to do. it's something i've always done. hell i went to college for this shit lol. but i always had big dreams with art, whether it's character design or illustrating or whatever. after my mom passed art hit the backburner with my depression. did a lot of things for other people, didn't really draw a whole lot for me. now i think a big part of the stride of this year is relearning to draw for me, and refinding my love of wrestling helped that. a lot of me lately has been "fuck responsibilities, i wanna draw babes" and i've done that. and lately, they've been incredible. it's been a boost to my confidence and then i share them like a silly and some babes have actually seen them. which is fucking surreal. i follow some other fan artists and they're doing such great things that where i'm at again it feels like this is possible, like maybe some dream can come true. and of course i've fallen into the hole of the boi sammy and his encouraging words in vlogs have made me want to do all the things cause i'll make you proud my emotional support boi. so i guess, short answer cause fuck i rambled, it's just. getting closer to my dreams inspires me to be a better artist. whether it be trying out new subjects or just drawing for me and refinding my confidence. and having faves actually see my art that helps a lot lol

artist asks ~

[queen-of-jerusalem]

❄️ 📘 finals prep 📘❄️

- stock up on your fuel of choice.

Gisela (my roommate) can't live without coffee, and I know a lot of people feel the same way. I personally like tea and hot chocolate, since it's winter, so I made myself hot chocolate mix and have my own tea kettle. I also went to the store and bought myself a bunch of green juices that I like. Get a few of your favorite healthy snacks, too (I got apples) so that you won't have to leave your studyspace every time you're hungry.

** I'm in a dorm. If your kitchen is downstairs, that's obviously different lol.

- clean up your space

I hate, hate, hate working in a messy room. It's just awful. I feel disorganized and stressed out. To combat this on the daily level, after getting back from my 9-11am classes, I make my bed, open the curtains, and clear my desk. Today I swept some pine needles from my little Christmas tree off the floor, and washed my desk with a washcloth, as well as sprayed some lavender water on my sheets and pillowcases (which are fresh). Just clean up your dorm/room! If you're in college, you have to do it anyway before leaving for Christmas break. And if you're like 'messy rooms don't bother me at all' just try it once, seriously.

- do all your mundane tasks

Do laundry so the hamper will be empty once you're studying. Get the stuff your mom wants you to do out of the way. Write the thank you note you've been meaning to get done. Finish the layout for next week's bullet journal. Whatever isn't related to studying, get it done now.

- make a schedule

I actually don't make a time-slot style schedule to study for finals until that day. But I do make a list of my priorities: I actually list all my finals, and label them with either a green, yellow, or red dot. As you can imagine, green means super easy. I might only go over the information the night before. Yellow means I have a lot to go over, but there's nothing new I need to understand or learn or relearn, i just need a refresher. I usually study for yellow every other day until the final (depending on when it is). Red means that this is a super hard subject, and I need to go over it in depth and really re-learn the course so I can be sure to get a good grade. I will study for red every day for a few hours.

- plan your relaxation!

This sounds counterintuitive, but how many times do you schedule half an hour of a break in between a few hours of studying, and when it comes, have no idea what to do with it, spend it scrolling through instagram still sitting at your desk, and then when it's over, not feel refreshed or relaxed at all? Know when you're going to take a break, and know what you're going to do then. Take a nap? Watch an episode of your show (a cliffhangery soap opera or thriller is not recommended)? Draw? Even if you are going to scroll through instagram, if you make the conscious choice that this is your relaxation time you will probably feel more recharged when it's over.

- wear face masks while studying!

This isn't really a study tip. It just makes sense since you're not going to be leaving the house anyway. Unless you study at coffee shops, but hey, you could wear a face mask to Starbucks if you really, really wanted to.

I hope you guys all do great on your finals, and aren't too stressed! Study hard!

[kangaracharacha]

To Do List

Tagged by @rebelcolumbia and @winter-is-ending (squee)

Do This: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, arts, gifsets, whatever.

I do a lot of stuff and I like to talk about it a lot so I’ll be nice and put a cut. Read at your own risk. Ask about stuff at even further risk (I never shut up gl).

1. Write Flicker and rewrite Sparrow, the first two books in my MCU series

I’ve lost the plot with Flicker again (literally lol), but I’m gonna get it done this time, I swear. This series is all about Imogen Haylock, a high school dropout and almost failed SHIELD recruit, who went on an adventure across the US with Hawkeye in Sparrow. The sequel, Flicker, is a bit of a left turn from that - Imogen’s struggling to figure out where she fits now; just like I’m struggling to figure out how this plot gets from point A to point B in a way that makes sense :| 

2. Write Pulse and Heart, my Supernatural apocalypse AU.

The Shoreline series has been a bit of a harebrained scheme for a while now - it runs from season 5 of the show all the way to season 11 and beyond and is about a woman who is technically dead. I’ve got 50k words...I just need the other 50 000 or so.

3. Write one of my original novels.

There’s about five on the go - there’s the survival of four brothers in an alien invasion in Apocalypse Boys, an adventure into deep space with Cass in Above Sky; there’s Pan, a foray into the world of lost things and forgotten beasts. There’s also two novels I made up on the fly three days ago - The House Of Broken Mirrors, featuring amnesia and an Incident that sets the government on the trail of Maya Simmons, who doesn’t remember what she knows; and Affliction, where superpowers are a disease. 

If any of these sound like something you want to read by the way, feel free to tell me which one I should focus on because I’m terrible at chosing one thing.

4. Actually finish reading the Obernewtyn Chronicles.

I always say Obernewtyn is my favourite book series, but there’s a whole book and a half I haven’t read yet. You can’t judge me though - this series is pretty hard to get through, not to mention the like 7 billion years between each book being released. I’m halfway through book 4 right now. I’m gonna read all 7. I promise.

5. Level out my dressage arena and steal borrow some more fenceposts and stuff for better showjumps.

If you don’t know, I ride horses. And while my dad is happy to build a stable for me, and dig the holes for the arena fence, I get to do everything else. My dressage arena is coming along pretty well so far - I pulled 4 and a half trailer loads of weeds and bushes out of it one afternoon a while ago so you can ride in it now, but it’s still got a lot of mounds and ditches in it which make it hard to work a horse properly in there. I’m also going to put up some old mirrors so I can practise lateral work properly, as soon as I figure out how to put them up.

As for the showjumps, I’ve been stealing borrowing posts from dad for ages but I need mORE and also today I found three good 44 drums to use as wings which is a score because my horse lowkey hates the tiny bucket things I’ve been using so far (he can’t see them properly I think, and if they’re stacked on top of each other the whole thing falls down when he knocks it). My current course has a swedish oxer, a bounce, a corner/apex (he hates these too), and probably like 4 straight bars, and I’m gonna try make a skinny too. (this description was long but I don’t care no one else will listen to me go on about horses lol)

6. Memorise three dressage tests.

Pony club competition coming up and I have two horses going - Wizard will be doing the beginners test because he gets flustered really easily and honestly that will be an achievement. And Charlie, my boy, my love, the best horse ever, will hopefully smash a prelim test out of the park and I think we’re gonna have a go at the novice test too because why the hell not (we’re gonna fail lol). Charlie’s also gonna jump the 60-80cm and 80-1m showjumping grades because according to our Pony Club instructor, that would be impressive for our club lol.

7. Buy horse. Train horse. Sell horse.

I gotta ring a man about a horse, and hopefully it’ll be here in a couple weeks, and then I’ll spend 10 weeks trying to bring it from unhandled to green horse with good basics established and then I’ll either spend some more time training or try to sell for a profit. In theory, anyway.

8. Practise guitar. Relearn violin.

Self explanatory. I don’t have time for this if I’m honest.

9. Learn to draw.

Particularly horses. Again, I don’t actually have time lol.