#i wear 34-waist pants??? that's not big by any means

[novemberheart]

{overview} You and your pack navigate through your heat

{warnings} fem reader, poly 141, a/b/o dynamics, MDNI, sexual content, mating & marking, p in v sex, multiple partners, cursing

Chapter 32 <- Chapter 33 -> Chapter 34

You weren't quite sure if you had even been so well cared for in your life. If you had- it felt minuscule compared to this.

Your alpha and betas had set up John's bedroom to accommodate you. They moved your bed into John’s room, pushing your bed with his to make one large one.

You weren't even sure if you needed the pills to spur on your heat. They were doing a good job with that already.

You could tell Kyle was livid. While he was in better physical condition- out of a sling and cast, he still wasn't cleared to lift heavy objects or do anything too strenuous. He settled for stocking the bedroom up with your favorite snacks, and drinks, while also helping you collect items around the house to build your nest with. To him, it felt small, but to you, it meant the world.

The pill looked big even in Kyle’s large hand.

“What if it doesn't work? I'm not good with heats anywa”-

“‘Nough of that, my love,” Kyle cut you off. You were perched on his good knee, his arms holding you as close to him as possible. He brushed some stray hairs away from your face. “Being a bit irregular with your heats means absolutely nothing and I wish we could get that through your pretty head,” Kyle sighed, his lips pressing against your temple in emphasis. John hummed in agreement, emerging from the kitchen with a glass of orange juice. You would need all the nutrients you could get.

“He’s right, sweet girl,” John sighed. He handed you the glass, bending over the couch, his lips pecking yours. “Bloody perfect,” he mumbled. You maintained eye contact when he pulled away, the look in your eyes making him groan. “Save that for Simon.”

“I want you to mark me too,” you whined. He clenched his jaw, his knuckles white against the couch.

“Can’t say no to that, John,” Kyle begged softly, his own brown eyes pleading. “The doctor said it would be alright if you stayed with her,” Kyle reminded. “The smell of you will help. You're both their alphas,” Kyle continued, referencing you and Simon.

“He snapped at me earlier”- John began to remind.

“Because you tried to take her from me,” Simon spoke, causing you to jump. “I don't mind sharing, as long as it’s an equal give and take,” Simon kept his eyes on you as he spoke. You whined softly, shifting on Kyle’s knee. You took a deep breath and grabbed the pill from Kyle’s hand, popping it into your mouth with one fluid motion.

“Are betas invited to this?” Johnny breathed from the doorway.

That would only be fair.

You would think eight hands would be enough. Yet not one of them seemed to dull the fire in your belly.

“How ya’ doing, pet?” Simon hummed. His mouth hadn't left your shoulder, trying to find where his mark would look best on you. He made sure to avoid John’s spot, the alpha grumbling when he even came close to it. You were sprawled out on top of Kyle- a panting and whiny mess.

“I’m hot,” you whined. Johnny's hands were the first to reach you, preferring to yank at your shorts than the tank top you were wearing. Kyle chuckled beneath you, his hands moving gently up your sides, pinching the hem between his fingers.

“This alright, lovie?” he hummed softly. You nodded quickly, sitting up so you were straddling his waist.

“Go slow,” Simon groaned, his hands expanding over every inch of skin Kyle uncovered as he pulled your tank top over your head. “Fuckin’ hell,” he cursed softly. The others had hardly any time to enjoy the sight before Simon was pushing you back against Kyle, hovering over both of you. John stopped Johnny from pressing himself between the two of you, by rolling atop the excited hound.

“Just enjoy the show,” John murmured against his heated cheek. “Yes?”

“Yes, alpha,” Johnny agreed, his eyes already narrowing on you. John rolled onto his side, Johnny's ass pressed firmly against the growing bulge in his pants. You clawed at Kyle’s shirt, the fabric tearing under your nails. You kept the torn shirt in bed, the soft fabric making decent nesting material. His warm skin still felt cold against you, your omega purring softly at the contact.

Simon's hand gripping the waistband of your shorts caught your attention. He paused, waiting for the go-ahead. You wiggled your hips in response, pushing back hoping to catch any sort of friction. He grumbled something low in his throat, pushing you back down against Kyle. He finished what Johnny had started, pulling your shorts down your legs. His hands massaged their way back up your legs, his thumbs digging into the sore flesh. His hand dipped between your legs giving your inner thigh a rough squeeze.

“My mark have to go on ‘er shoulder?” Simon hummed, bending down just enough for his teeth to graze over your bottom.

“Nobody’ll see it there,” Kyle hummed a lazy smirk across his face. His fingers ran up and down your sides, making you erupt in goosebumps.

“Cannae have that,” Johnny mumbled. Johnny's hands had twisted themselves in John's shirt to stop himself from digging into your softness. Simon's fingers brushed over your clothed heat, a small gasp escaping you. You buried your face in Kyle's neck, your thighs twitching around Simon’s hand.

“Soaked through the fabric,” He mumbled, his thumb swirling experimentally. Johnny groaned loudly, John pressing him further into the mattress. Your scent had already switched a flip in the beta's brains, their breathing syncing with yours, the room filling with soft, needy pants. You whined, your hips raising away from Kyle's, your ass high in the air. “That’s it, sweet girl,” Simon muttered. His thumb pressed down, finally giving you the pressure you were chasing. A breathy moan left your lips, Kyle's hips shifting below you at the noise.

Simon pulled his hand away.

“No,” you grumbled, your hand catching his wrist. He pulled away quickly, his hands pushing yours back down towards Kyle.

“Be a good girl,” Simon warned, his hand heading back between your thighs. Simon's finger wrapped around your panties beginning to pull them down your legs. Slow enough to torture you, but fast enough to give you hope. Kyle's hand collided with your bottom made you jolt, your shriek being cut off with a moan. His hands pressed against you, stopping the sting before it had even arrived.

“Couldn’t help it,” Kyle apologized against your ear. “Should see my bloody view,” he grumbled, his teeth catching your ear. His hands flung to your thighs, spreading them apart for Simon. The sudden movement leaves you completely exposed. Johnny ran his fingers over Kyles, his mouth watering at the way you pooled around Kyles fingers due to his strong grip.

A large hand rested on Johnny’s lower stomach, making his breath hitch. His hips instinctively rolled upwards, the tightness in his boxers bordering on painful.

“Doing so good, hound,” John murmured in his ear, his hand finally dipping below his waistband. He made no move to wrap around his cock, instead favoring scratching up Johnny’s thighs.

Simon's thumb slipped between your folds. His thumb running up and down your bundle of nerves slowly, applying more pressure than your body may have been ready for. You gasped out a moan, your hips trying to pull away. You would've succeeded had Kyle not held you in place.

“Too much,” you whined. You bit down on Kyle’s shoulder, growling against his skin.

“So sensitive,” Kyle groaned, against your cheek. He raised his head, biting you back.

“Simon,” you whimpered out. You were torn. One second you were pushing yourself back against his hand, the next moment you were trying to squirm out of Kyle’s grasp. “Kyle,” you added. The beta groaned underneath you, giving your thighs a squeeze.

“What do you want me to do, lovie?” he hummed,

“Make him slow down,” you panted, your eyes nearly in the back of your head.

“Just take what your alpha has to give you, love,” Kyle whispered against your head. Your mouth fell open at his words, the pressure in your lower stomach building at a rapid pace.

“I’m not ready to cum,” you babbled. That made Simon stop. You could feel him before you could see him, his large body draping over you and Kyle.

“Not ready?” he mumbled. His lips pressed against your heated cheek, breathing in your scent deeply. You quickly nodded your head. “How about comin’ around a cock?” he mumbled. His words affected everyone, each of them letting out a groan or a gasp. You could only manage a nod. “Words, sweet girl,” He grumbled.

“Yes, please,” you panted.

“Might know someone who could help you with that,” Simon mumbled, his scruff rubbing against your shoulder as he pulled you up by wrapping a strong arm around your middle. One of his hands rested against your stomach, your thighs shaking around Kyle’s hips. Simon's other grabbed yours, guiding them to the band of Kyle’s sweats. Kyle's breathing picked up, his chest rising and falling quickly. Your hands ran over the dark curly hair on his lower stomach, your fingers curling into the fabric of his pants. Kyle groaned as he was finally set free, the tip of his cock resting against his belly button. Your mouth fell open again. He was intimidatingly long. While he didn't match John or Johnny in girth, no spots inside you would go untouched after him.

“Kyky,” you whined, growing nervous. He shushed you gently, leaning up to hold you against his chest. Hands were on you in an instant, rubbing soothing circles against your soft skin.

“We’ll go as slow as you need to, princess,” Kyle murmured, brushing your hair away from your heated cheeks. “If you still want to,” he added, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. You nodded your head. You did want to continue, you just didn't want to make a fool out of yourself.

“Slow?” you mumbled back.

“Slow,” he affirmed. You rested your head against his shoulder, your eyes meeting Johnny’s. He leaned forward, his lips capturing yours. Kyle whined when Simon wrapped a large hand around his cock, tapping his tip against your soaked folds making you gasp. Johnny let go of you, settling back against John, both men watching you for any signs of discomfort- or pleasure. Kyle's hands remained on you, keeping you grounded and soothed. Simon guided him to your entrance, precum already staining your pretty folds. He pushed in gently, both of you gasping as he pushed past your tight seal.

“Fuck,” Kyle grumbled, his lips pressing against yours to distract him from the warmth enveloping his tip. You moaned against him, your hips pushing themselves down. You don't know what you were worried about. Every inch was pure bliss as he rolled his hips against yours, slowly splitting you open. You pulled away, sitting up suddenly. The new angle giving everyone a perfect view of his throbbing cock losing itself inside you. You whined, your claws scratching against his hips, trying not to break skin. Your eyes trained between your thighs, Simon's hands holding your hips steady. You were nearly there, just a few more inches. “Fuckin’ perfect,” Kyle growled, his thumb running over your clit, using the same movement Simon had. You tightened even more around him, the action making him stop. “Open up for me baby,” he purred, taking all the power away from you as he rested his hands on your side, pushing you down further on his cock.

You were praised when you finally sunk down, your cunt nestled against his sparse curly hair.

“So deep,” you whined, your knees already beginning to give up.

“So deep,” Kyle repeated. If he wasn't so enamored with the sight before him, his eyes would be in the back of his skull. You fit him like a fucking glove, every inch and vein finding the perfect home in your suffocating heat. He couldn't stop himself anymore. He sat up, strong arms wrapping around your middle, using the leverage to pull you down against his chest, his hips rolling out of you in one fluid motion. You didn't have time to dwell on the suddenly empty feeling, because he rolled back into you making your vision go spotty. You cursed, your nails digging into his arms causing the skin to break. Neither one of you could care. You joined his rhythm quickly, the two of you panting and whining like animals. Your hands pressed against his chest, pushing his back down against the mattress, fucking yourself on his cock.

The room was silent besides the two of you, everyone too enraptured to even move.

“Just like that, lovie,” Kyled encouraged, using his hips to guide you when you lost your rhythm. You were begging now. Physically and verbally.

“Please, Ky,” you nearly sobbed. “I need”-

You cut yourself off with a moan, not able to focus on anything other than the drag of his cock against your walls. Your lower half had given out, your forehead resting against his shoulder. He didn't seem to mind though, his hips picking up right where you left off- better actually. Simon's hand rested on your stomach, slowly traveling lower like he was trying to please you without interrupting. His middle finger rolling over your clit was the final nail in your coffin.

You came hard- all of your senses shutting off. Pleasure coursing through your veins with such relentlessness you couldn't do anything but sob out.

“No, no, no,” Kyle growled as your hips tried to escape his grasp, he held you down, his own hips leaving the bed with how deep he buried himself inside you. The only thing you could feel was sudden warmth unloading itself inside you. It wasn't a knot, but it was enough to satiate the clawing urge inside you, your cunt absorbing as much as it could from him. He flopped against the bed, holding you close. He had never felt so lifeless yet alive at the same time. His own body quivered at the intense high.

You couldn't feel anything except Kyle. You couldn't quite tell where you ended and he started. Every twitch, groan, and mumble felt like it could be yours. You could feel lips against you. A pair on the back of your arms, a pair on your shoulder, and a pair on your forehead. You could instantly recognize John’s hand on your lower back, your omega purring happily deep within the chamber of your chest. His hand rested against your cheek, his thumb running under your wet eyes.

“You both did so good,” he murmured, making both of you preen. They were shocked actually, that Kyle was able to perform as well as he had, given the condition he was in just a couple of weeks ago. Simon rested against the two of you, half on his side, half draped over you.

A lazy smile etched your face when Johnny began to kiss against your jaw.

“Mac,” you mumbled. Your leg extended forward, wanting to be near him. Instead, your leg skimmed against a wet spot in his boxers. He grumbled quietly, a hazy look in his eyes. You peered down, coming in contact with the mess he had made in his boxers. Wasn't his fault John was stroking him in time with Kyle’s thrusts. You whined at the loss, pulling at his boxers, thick, white ropes staining his skin and the red fabric.

“Why’re you whining?” he questioned, teeth nipping just below your ear.

“Could’ve come in me,” you whined, looking at him through your wet lashes. He groaned, his forehead bumping against yours.

“You were a bit full at the moment, peaches,” he reminded, his lips quirking. Kyle’s chest rumbled with a chuckle. “I can give ya’ more if you stop pouting,” Johnny soothed, his hand flattening over your back. “As long as it’s alright with the alphas,” Johnny smirked, rubbing his cheek against yours, coming face to face with Simon.

Simon's eyes scanned over to John like it was a decision that needed discussing.

“She needs all the prep she can get for you,” John hummed. Simon grinned like a shark. You were too high for the words to even register.

“Have at it, pup,” Simon sighed. Johnny breathed in relief, grabbing you by your thighs and maneuvering you to spot he had previously occupied. He rested over you, peeling off his shirt, which you quickly stole out of his hands, rubbing your cheek against. He smiled down at you, kicking his boxers to the floor. He pressed your knees together, kissing each of them before hooking your legs onto his arms. You giggled, the stretch actually feeling quite nice on your achy legs.

He ran the head of his cock through your folds, Kyle's spend already beginning to seep out of you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he began to bully himself inside of you.

“Steamin’ hell, you even open her up Garrick?” Johnny groaned through gritted teeth. You accepted him greedily, your walls clamping around him like a vice. Kyle was too blissed out to be mad, Simon speaking for him when his hand collided with Johnny’s ass. His hips stuttered, a not-so-surprising groan escaping his lips. If he wasn't spreading you out in all the right places you would've laughed. “Fuckin’”- Johnny cut himself off, his mouth attaching to your neck and chest, leaving teeth marks and slobber in his path. “Mine,” he growled against your ear, your head being pushed into the soft pillows. His hips were harsh, the force of it making the headboard collide with the wall. Simon's hand rested on Johnny’s neck, pulling the eager mouth away from you.

It was then he saw it. The perfect spot for his mark. It was across from where John wanted to put his. High enough on your neck where it could be seen with almost any shirt and had just enough room so the mark could be seen from behind and front. His mouth watered at the sight. Must've been why John picked a similar place.

“Don’t stop,” Simon growled against Johnny’s temple. Simon leaned over his teeth nipping at the skin. You had an immediate reaction judging by the way Johnny groaned.

“Alpha,” you gasped, your hands not being able to decide between gripping onto him or Johnny. You settled for both, throwing your head as far back as you could to allow him the space he needed.

He ran his tongue over the sensitive spot, taking a deep breath.

His fangs sunk into the skin with ease.

Hi friends! Hope you enjoyed! SIMON FINALLY DID IT! See you 🫵 in four days for chapter 34! 🧡

[dollsonmain]

Yeah that’s not going to work for me.

...

Neither is this (tale as old as time), but I appreciate the thigh measurement segment. That’s something that’s often been a problem for me trying to order pants. I’ll get a pair that’s supposed to fit my hips at least and can’t pull them up past my knees because the legs are so tight.

Both pair of pants would have about 6 inches too much waist and there isn’t even a measurement for thighs on the men’s cut.

I might be able to get away with a 14 (uh... if they had any 14s in stock...), but it would be, like always, too tight in one spot and way too loose everywhere else.

Right now I’m wearing a US 12 from 5.11 and it’s MUCH too tight in the thigh and across my butt. I’ve been wearing these pants since I was at my lightest and was comfortable with how loose they were.

If I had Many Monies I could get the 16 (I’d probably be more comfortable in the 18 in the thigh really... I prefer a loose fit) and get them tailored.

Maybe an 18 would work after all... Other than falling off of my butt constantly.

I don’t know. I hate shopping for pants but can’t fit into my 5.11s anymore and need new ones.

-

I hadn’t measured my thighs since I gained a bunch of weight and it’s funny how my weight distribution has drastically changed.

I mean, I knew it was going to happen. Every woman on both sides of my family did the same thing (other than my younger aunt who’s always been very heavy). Relatively small until 40 and then BLOOP suddenly rather heavy and mostly around the middle.

Up until the sudden weight gain I was 36-28-38 with a thigh measurement of 28 inches, and now I’m 35 (I have a shirt and a soft bra on so this may be a 34 actually)-32-42 with a 26 inch thigh. I’m all butt and gut now. It’s also funny that my bust measurement has gone down but my boobs are a lot bigger. I have cleavage now!! It’s all upper body fat and muscle that’s gone. Migrated to my bingo wings.

-

I was thinking about just yesterday how I’ve gotten too big for all of my favorite clothes and I would be angry about that if they weren’t also falling to rags because I’ve worn them for years and years.

I’ve already replaced my favorite pajamas but maybe should have looked for an XL instead of an L, and I bought some new pajamas but need to get more and let go of the smaller ones that are falling apart.

Clothes I’d bought extra big on me now fit and that’s both amusing and distressing.

I would like my body to stay about one size please. Pick one and stick with it.

[dragongirltitties]

shoutout to my mom for telling me to lose weight literally at least once a week because one (1) pair of pants doesn't fit

[rreyie]

𝟯𝟰+𝟯𝟱

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: jean wants to add a little bit of spice to the bedroom. that means a new position, hence the title.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: smut! big ol 69, horse cock jean ofc

𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: smut/nsfw

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨: jean kirstein, reader insert

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: someone requested something along the lines of 34+35 by queen ari herself, and asked me if i could have jean be involved, so anyways, *cracks knuckles* here we gO

request submitted by: @i-am-so-strange

——————————————————————————

you laid on the bed with a novel in hand, all curled up while the fireplace radiated its warmth onto your almost bare body. you wore one of jeans old t-shirts he had said you looked sexy in, and a pair of panties. nothing too fancy, you valued comfort more than looks tonight.

in walked jean, wearing absolutely nothing. you look up from your novel, and your eyes widen as soon as you make contact with his length, already half hard for some reason.

“what’s this for?” you asked him, closing your book and placing it to the side.

jean smirks. “oh nothing, just thought i would let myself breathe down there tonight.”

“that’s bullshit, jean”, you say. “you always do this when you’re horny. then you want me to suck you off.”

“well, i do, but i also want to make you feel good.” he says as he lays down next to you on the bed as his cock stands up freely.

you were lucky that jean was well endowed. he could never hide a boner easily, due to the massive size he possessed. as he sat there waiting for some sort of action, you couldn’t help but wonder, what exactly was he talking about.

“jean, honey, what are you talking about?” you ask. he rubs his stubble, amber eyes glowing in the warm light of the room.

“i’m talking about a new position”, he said. “doggy and missionary are lovely but i want to eat you out too.”

picturing his slick tongue running in between your folds while your mouth was occupied with his cock made your stomach bubble with arousal. “know what? let’s do it.”

jean turns over to grab your waist, and yanks you onto his lap. he smashed his lips into yours, feeling the slight taste of alcohol on his tongue. his tongue explored your mouth, gliding along the roof of your mouth and any other place he could get himself into.

“mmh”, he says. “you taste lovely.” you giggle. jean never took the bedroom too seriously, he always liked a good laugh once in a while. though most of the time, you were too overstimulated to crack a joke or say anything.

continuing to kiss his lips, your hand moves down to his exposed cock, jerking it loosely. jean moans into your mouth, his tongue going limp as you continue to kiss him passionately.

jean pulls away as your hand begins to slow, a string of saliva connecting your lips as he asks you to turn over so you’re facing his length. you eagerly comply and turn your body over so your ass is in his face while his cock, now fully hard, is only an inch or so away from your mouth.

a slimy organ caresses your folds, and presses upon your clit, sucking the warm bud gently.

“h-holy shit, jean...” you hiss, and to pay him back, you wrap your mouth around his length, now fully hard in your mouth.

you bob your head up and down, feeling your mouth glide around his sturdy cock. jean moans into your pussy, pressing his lips into you harder as you continue to blow him. jeans arms travel to your head, and give you a slight push down upon his length so you could take in more. you cough at the sudden movement, but nonetheless keep going, eager to provide him some sort of pleasure.

jean continues to lick your folds as if he was a kitten and you were a bowl of milk. his tongue enters you, swirling around like it had a mind of its own.

upon giving him a particularly nice suck, his hips buck upwards as he grunts, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat.

“y/n... you feel so good... oh~” his voice coming out a bit muffled since his mouth was buried inside of you.

you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge as jean added two fingers into your soaking hole. pushing them against your sweet spot that lined your walls, was your breaking point. before you knew it, you creamed on his wide fingers. as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, riding the wave of your orgasm, jean had also reached his climax as spurts of hot cum flew into your mouth. his dick pulsated as you lap up all of his cum while winding down from your last orgasm. you roll over onto your back, panting as jean looks over to you and grins.

“we’ve gotta do this more often, babe”, he says confidently, putting his arms behind his head, attempting to smoothe down his now messy hair.

“y-yeah, that could be nice.” you turn yourself so you were laying on your stomach facing jean, who’s cheeks were red, eyes nearly shut. he looked visibly tired.

“you look so pretty when your all fucked out like that”, jean grins as you lay your head on his bare chest.

you drift off to sleep feeling jeans heartbeat through his chest. before you fall into a deep sleep, you hear a gentle “i love you” come from jeans mouth as he wrapped an arm around you and turned off the lights.

——————————————————————————

damn sorry i got lazy on the last part, i wasn’t quite sure how to end this without it being awkward 😃

[imaginedisish]

Devil’s Advocate (Tenet) Neil x Reader

Chapter 3: North American Scum

A/N: Hi guys! Here is chapter 3!!! I feel like it could have been better, but I really started feeling it at the end (and I think you can tell) Enjoy ahhh!! (and yes, the title of this is one big LCD Sound System Reference :))

Summary: You and Neil are sent on your first mission, but things get incredibly messy, as they always do. 

Warnings: Guns, gun wounds, death, cursing, angst, and that’s about it!

Word Count: 5,765... If anyone wants to teach ya girl how to do the “read more” thing that would be fantastic...

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2

Sunlight pours through the small crack in the curtains. Your stomach is pressed up against the mattress. You shift around underneath the sheets, but an arm is wrapped around your body, keeping you in place. You inhale deeply, and the smell of his cologne fills your lungs.

Neil. You keep your eyes shut, reveling in his touch. He rustles a bit, and you feel yourself being pulled in closer to his chest. You maneuver onto your side, allowing him to bring your chest up against his. 

His lips brush against your left ear. 

He has to be awake, You think to yourself. A light kiss presses softly against your ear, and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks. There is absolutely no way he’s still asleep. 

“(Y/N)?” Neil whispers, as if to ask if you were still next to him. 

Your eyes flutter open. “Good morning,” You mutter. Your voice is hoarse from a full night of sleep, the first full night of sleep you had gotten in what felt like ages. 

The light catches Neil’s blue eyes, causing them to sparkle and glow in the rays of sun. His blonde hair was a ruffled mess. Still, he’s undeniably attractive. It didn’t matter how unkempt he appeared to be, there was still something about him; something about him that made your heart pound out of your chest, something about him that made it impossible and yet easier to breathe all at the same time. His presences was overwhelming and yet so calming. 

He clears his throat. “Did you sleep well?” He asks, his arms still pulling you tightly against his chest. 

Besides all the other times we’ve shared a bed, You think to yourself before saying, “That was probably the best sleep I’ve gotten in years.” 

You remember that just yesterday he had said you two were “friends.” 

But friends don’t do these kinds of things. 

Neil smiles back at you, his nose less than a centimeter away from yours. “I’m glad,” He responds. You can feel his breath on your lips. 

The last thing you want to do is get up. You silently hope that Neil won’t move. Eventually, the time would come to do the very thing you came here to do, unfortunately. But for now, you wanted to enjoy laying in bed with Neil, regardless of what it meant for him. 

You watch as Neil sighs and furrows his brows. There’s something on his mind, and it’s very clearly bothering him. You always hated seeing him like this, and you couldn’t let it go unnoticed. 

“Neil?” You ask. “Are you alright?”

He smiles sheepishly. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” Neil reassures, but you know there’s something wrong.

“If there’s something on your mind, you can always talk to me,” You say, bringing your left hand to rest on the side of his upper thigh. 

You’re shocked to feel his exposed skin and not his boxers. They had scrunched up into his crotch. 

You retract your hand immediately, feeling as though you had overstepped some unspoken boundary. “I-I’m sorry about that.” Your voice is distraught and shaky in the wake of your embarrassment.

“No,” Neil says. His voice is calm and a smile reappears on his face. “It felt nice.” You nod, allowing your hand to travel back to where it was. 

You decide to start over and try again. “But really Neil, you can always talk to me, about anything,” You pause, choosing to go the confrontational route. “I know something is wrong with you. I can just tell.”

Neil’s arm tightens around you. You didn’t think it could be possible to get closer to him, and yet suddenly you were. “Well, last night…” Neil trails off. You can feel his heart beat grow louder in his chest. “I was going to talk to you about something.”

“Well, what is it?” You ask. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the moment Neil would tell you how he felt about you. 

Neil inhales sharply through his nose. “(Y/N), it’s just that-,”

The sound of Neil’s phone roughly vibrating against the bedside table next to him cuts him off. He lets go of you and turns over to pick up the phone. You stuff your face into your pillow in absolute agony. 

Another moment stolen, You think. 

“Shit,” He mutters under his breath. “Hello?” He answers the call. “Already?” There’s a pause. “What do you mean it’s half past twelve?” Another pause. “I’m sorry we must’ve slept through the alarm I-,” Whoever is on the other line interrupts him immediately. “Alright, thanks. We’ll start getting ready now.”

You lift your face off of the pillow. Neil hangs up and puts the phone back onto the nightstand. 

“It’s time already?” You ask. You feel your anxiety growing in the pit of your stomach. You know what’s coming next. You can feel it on the tip of your tongue. You can feel the uncertainty. You can already hear the gunshots, the screams, the cries for help. 

Neil turns back over towards you, his arm wrapping tightly around your body yet again. “Yeah, it’s time,” He says, pressing a kiss against your forehead. His lips are warm and soft, reassuring even. But you didn’t want to go, not yet. Being with Neil was too good. For the first time in a long time, you were finally feeling normal. You had finally felt safe. And now, as you always did, you were going to risk it all.

I can’t do this, You think to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut. 

“Neil,” You feel yourself tremble a bit, “I-I can’t d-do this,” You stutter, tripping over your words at the mere thought of getting out of bed. 

“I’m so sorry, love,” Neil says, pulling you closer to him. “But I don’t think we have a choice.”

A choice? You hated the idea that anyone had a lack of “choice,” especially when it came to the organization. You hated the idea that nothing could be changed or altered to make something better. What’s happened, happened. And yet, you believed none of that. 

Of course I have a choice. I’m an autonomous woman with agency and independence. You think to yourself. “And what the fuck is stopping me from saying no, Neil?” Your sudden fury causes him to jump back a bit. His grip on you loosens. 

Neil’s shocked expression takes you aback. “I didn’t mean to make you-,”

You cut him off, feeling guilty for jumping down his throat so abruptly. “No, it’s not your fault Neil. It’s me,” You roll onto your back and Neil’s arms slide off of you. “This is so overwhelming. I’m a mess.” 

Neil shifts closer to you. He’s laying on his side. He brings his hand across your body and onto your shoulder, drawing light circles with his index finger. You sigh, his touch leaving goosebumps on your exposed skin. “It’s going to be okay, I promise,” He says. He lets you sit in silence for a few minutes. He somehow knows it's exactly what you need. 

He always does. 

You look over to the alarm clock on your bedside table. 

12:34

“We should probably get up now,” You say apprehensively. 

Neil nods, lifting his hand from your shoulder. He presses a kiss against your cheek before hopping off the bed. “Just for good measure,” He says with a wink. 

Neil had been stealing kisses from you far more recently than he had in the past, and you certainly recognized it. You weren’t complaining, but it was confusing. You weren’t sure what he wanted. You knew there was at least a slight chance that Neil saw you as more than a friend. That was a natural occurrence of life. After all, you had fallen for him. 

Who’s to say he couldn’t fall for you too. You immediately shake the thought off. Thinking like this could ruin the mission. You were too distracted for your own good. Now was not the time to be wondering how Neil felt about you, regardless of how puzzling the situation was. 

Neil had shuffled off into the bathroom. You could hear the shower turn on and the glass door of the shower close behind Neil. You stifle any further thoughts in the back of your head, and swing your legs over the side of the bed. You walk over to your duffle bag and begin to rummage through your clothes. You were always incredibly indecisive when it came to what to wear. 

After a few minutes, you finally decide on a pair of baggy, black menswear dress pants, similar to the ones you were still wearing. You grab an oversized white t-shirt to go with it. You pull your black high top converse out of the bag as well, letting them fall to the floor. 

The door to the bathroom opens, and Neil comes out with just a fuzzy white towel wrapped around his waist. You stare too far down for far too long, and Neil is quick to notice. 

“If you’re going to look at me like that, you should really buy me dinner first,” He jokes. He walks over to you and stops when he reaches his suitcase. 

You feel the heat rising to your cheeks and you smirk a bit. “I-I just didn’t expect you to be-,”

“To be what? Practically naked?”

“Well, yes, to be honest,” You say, your smirk turning into a wide smile. Neil smiles back, and nudges you playfully with his elbow. You shut your eyes and shake your head. “I’m getting in the shower now.”

Neil chuckles as you walk away. “Can I have the same show you got? It’s only fair!” 

How you wished he wasn’t just kidding around with you. 

You step into the bathroom and shut the door behind you. 

The shower is incredibly refreshing. The hot water almost puts you to sleep again, but it’s a welcomed feeling. Things seemed peaceful. But there’s always a calm before the storm. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. 

“(Y/N)?” Neil calls. 

His voice catches you off guard. You almost slip on the water below. “Yeah?” You call back, catching yourself and regaining your balance. 

“I think I left my boxers in there,” He says. Your face reddens as you predict his next words. “Is it alright if I pop in and grab them? I won’t peak, I promise!” You hear his muffled chuckle through the door. 

You swallow hard. “Yeah, sure I don’t mind,” You say back. Your heart races in your chest. The glass of the shower door was completely fogged up, and Neil wouldn’t see a thing, or at least he probably wouldn’t. But part of you of wanted him to…

Your thoughts are interrupted as the door creeks open, and Neil enters the bathroom. There’s some shuffling around and you can hear Neil moving some things. 

“Where the bloody hell did they go?” Neil whispers to himself. A giggle escapes your lips. “What’s so funny about this, love?” Neil’s sarcastic tone only makes you laugh more. 

“I mean where could they have possibly-,” You say, cutting yourself off as you look up to see Neil’s boxers hanging over the top of the shower. “How did they even end up there?”

Neil chuckles now too. “I must’ve put them up there with my pants. I didn’t think I’d have time to iron my clothes, so I just threw everything over the top to get some steam on it,” He explains between laughs. Of course he was worried about how wrinkly his clothes would be, You think to yourself, letting another giggle out. 

The shape of Neil’s body becomes more prominent as he walks over towards the shower. You feel yourself growing nervous upon the realization that Neil can most likely see a better outline of what you look like too. His hand grabs the boxers and he yanks them down. 

“I promised no peaking, so I’ll get out of your hair now,” Neil laughs and you watch as he walks over to the door. You almost wanted to tell him to stay. 

Almost. 

Before you can say a word, Neil opens the door and steps back out. Flustered beyond belief, you force yourself to finish the shower. 

You brush your teeth and put your stringy, wet hair in a clip to at least make it look presentable. You grab your clothes and slip them on, tucking your t-shirt into your pants and lacing a black, square buckle belt through your belt loops. 

You take a look at yourself in the mirror and you can’t help but feel at least a tiny bit proud of what you were able to accomplish in such a short time, that is, until you open the door. 

Neil is standing on the other side of the room, his left arm holding his weight up as he leans against the window, looking down at the city streets below. His grey suit jacket hangs below his hips and fits him perfectly. His white dress shirt is crisp, and a little green scarf serves as his neck tie. His pants are the exact same color as the suit jacket, and at the bottom are a pair of black dress shoes. He didn’t bother to gel his hair back, but it looked better when he let it be a little messy. When he gelled it he looked too uptight, too posh, too much like a tory. 

You still remember the day Neil had taught you that word. You didn’t have a clue about British politics, and despite Neil’s well-off appearance, he was always adamant about not being a tory. 

“But you’re as posh as anything Neil,” You said, breathing absurdly hard in between laughs. 

Neil shakes his head erratically. “I’m posh in a cool, secret agent way!” He exclaims in his defense. “I’m not a tory, come on! I shouldn’t have ever taught you that word. You’re just going to hang it over my head forever.” He sighs dramatically, shoving his head in his hands for extra effect. 

You rest your hand on his shoulder, reassuring him sardonically. “Oh Neil, fine. You’re not a tory.” 

The rest of the flashback, the playful banter and the stolen, sneaky touches are quickly shut down by the buzzing of Neil’s phone. He breaks his stare from the streets below and picks it up, carefully reading the message he just received. 

“It’s time, they gave us the location,” He says, still looking down at the message. You freeze instantly, as if you’ve become paralyzed. “(Y/N)?” Neil calls, walking over to you. He places his hands on your shoulders. 

“I just,” You trail off, searching for the right words. “I just thought I’d have more time to prepare, I guess.” 

Neil loosens his hold on your shoulders and wraps his arms all the way around you, pulling you tightly into his chest. “I know love, I know,” He whispers. You take a deep breath. 

Maybe I could do this, You force yourself to think. I have to. 

You untangle yourself from Neil and walk over to the chair to put your converse on. Neil studies you from afar, seemingly watching your every move. You don’t feel uncomfortable at all. You know he’s watching you to make sure you’re okay. Normally you wouldn’t want Neil to worry about you so much, but now his worry was welcomed. It made you feel safe. It made you feel validated. He truly wanted nothing but the best for you, and he made that abundantly clear. 

You finish tying your shoes and stand up, lightly brushing away the creases in your pants. You grab your long, tweed, dark grey trench coat and throw it over your shoulders. You grab the pistol at the bottom of your suit case, and slip it into the inside pocket on the right side of the coat.

“I’m ready,” You say, looking over at Neil. 

Neil nods, and walks back over to you. “Are you sure?”

You nod back. “No, but that’s okay.”

————

You and Neil make it down to the parking garage, but the Porsche is nowhere to be seen. Neil pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and presses a button. 

“Can’t repeat the same ride twice,” Neil jokes as the lights of a black BMW flash in your face, just as the Porsche had done last night. You let a small smile break your furrowed brows and tightened face as you get into the car. Neil puts the keys into the ignition and drives off. 

Neil explains the mission to you on the way there. The plan was to continue posing as Ophelia and Atlas Ryan, two newlyweds traveling the world together. 

“But you’re from London,” You retort, posing a potential problem about the cover. 

“You’re not,” Neil grins back at you. “Besides, who says I can’t show you around a bit?” 

You grin back at him, finally accepting the plan. 

“So we’ll be pretending to shop in this clothing store,” Neil starts, but you quickly interrupt him, knowing exactly what’s coming next.

“What’s it a front for?” Anxiety sits in your stomach like a rock. You couldn’t help but blurt out the question. 

Neil swallows harshly. “There’s a Turnstile in the back,” He says, keeping his eyes on the road. “And some inverted weapons, although some may be an understatement.”

Of course there’s a fucking Turnstile, You think to yourself.  You grip the handle on the side of the door as the GPS shouts directions. 

Suddenly, the bombs in Neil’s suitcase all make sense now. 

“And we have to stick a bomb…” You trail off, flabbergasted by the danger of the mission. 

“We have to stick a bomb somewhere inside the store, and detonate it the second we leave,” Neil finishes your thought. 

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down, but it doesn’t work very well. You look back to the GPS on the screen, searching for your ETA. 

1:35PM. 

That’s when you look down at your phone and realize that it’s already that time. Neil slides into an open parking spot a few doors down from the store. 

He looks over at you once last time. 

“Are you sure you can do this? Because maybe I could find a way to do this by mys-,”

“No,” You state firmly, refusing to let Neil finish. “We’re in this together.” You put a hand on his thigh and look longingly into his eyes. “I’d never leave you, Neil.” Your eyes flicker down to his lips. 

Neil smiles, and you can feel your heart burst in your chest. He grabs you and pulls you against him in a tight embrace. It wasn’t exactly what you were aiming for, but it most definitely wasn’t a miss. He lets go and you nod at each other subtly. 

It was time. 

Neil opens his door and hops out. You go to open your door, but Neil quickly walks over to your side, opening it for you. He grins, knowing that you aren’t allowed to complain. You were married now, after all. Neil grabs your hand, and helps you out of the car. 

You walk along the street past a few cars before finally finding an opening to get onto the sidewalk. You and Neil stop in front of the boutique.

Through the Looking Glass

A far too perfect name, You think to yourself.

Neil’s hand is still holding yours. He squeezes tightly, and you squeeze back. 

Neil takes the first step and opens the door. A bell rings. The white walls of the store are decorated with fairy lights and some posters. 

“Good afternoon! Welcome in,” A tall, black haired woman says cheerfully from the behind the register. “Is there anything I could help you find today?"

Shit, You think to yourself. Her questions were simple. They were completely normal questions, and yet you were frozen again. 

“We’re just taking a look around. It’s only my wife’s second time here in London,” Neil starts, developing a story, a reason to be here. “She came to meet my parents a few years ago, but she never really got the London experience, you know?”

The woman nods from behind the counter. “That’s wonderful!” She says ecstatically. You were amazed at Neil’s ability to keep his cool. You could tell he had her convinced. It was like a superpower or something. “Well, if you need anything at all, let me know!” 

“Thank you so much,” You say, finally having the courage to participate in the conversation. 

You and Neil begin to shift through racks, picking a top or skirt out every few pieces or so. You carried a few fake conversations: where to eat dinner, where to go next, what landmark to see first. Neil casually slips the bomb in your pocket in the midst of discussion.

Finally, after collecting a few pieces, you and Neil head back over to the woman behind the register. 

“Do you think I could try these on in the fitting room?” You ask politely, a smile spreading across your face. 

The woman smiles back. “Of course, right this way!” She leads you and Neil over to the back of the store and into a smaller room. There’s a row of doors connected to cubicles on the right side, and a set of pink tufted armchairs along the left. There’s a few doors along the wall ahead, and that’s where you assume the turnstile and weapons are kept. She unlocks one of the rooms, and guides you inside. “Thank you so much,” You say pleasantly, trying to keep your cool despite how terribly you want to start trembling. You head into the room and shut the door behind you. 

There’s a long mirror in front of you, and a small, tufted white armchair in the corner. The bomb would fit best behind the armchair, and could go relatively unnoticed. You decide that you should actually give some semblance of a fashion show before placing the bomb. Otherwise, you might blow your cover. 

You carefully place your coat on the armchair, making sure that your gun isn’t exposed. You grab your first outfit, a navy blue turtleneck sweater and a plaid skirt. You slip into the clothes and open the door. 

Neil’s gaze immediately settles on your exposed legs. “Wow,” He mumbles, looking you up and down. 

You smile widely and blush. “Oh stop it,” You playfully say back, forgetting all about the mission for a split second. 

“You look fantastic, really, (Y/N).” At first, you want to revel in his comment, but your eyes widen, quickly realizing what Neil had just done. 

“Atlas, I don’t think that’s my name,” You whisper, hoping the women behind the counter hadn’t heard Neil call you by your name instead of Ophelia. 

Neil gulps, and a slight smile appears on his face. “Ophelia darling,” He says louder this time, “You look incredible.”

You try to keep the show going, and you smile back. “Well then I guess I’ll just have to get this outfit, won’t I?” You say back, glancing over at the woman behind the counter. Her eyes were locked on yours, and she quickly breaks her stare. She grabs the phone on the counter and dials a number.

“Atlas,” You whisper, getting closer to Neil. “I think we’re a bit fucked.” 

Neil turns around quietly, and watches the woman on the phone. She looks like she knows what she’s doing. 

She looks like she knows who you are. 

“What should we do?” You ask, whispering even softer now. 

Neil remains in the chair, and turns back to face you. “Put on the next outfit. I’ll keep an eye out.” You nod, and head back into the room. 

You take off the skirt, and grab the light beige menswear dress pants off their hanger. You put them on, one leg at a time, trying to listen to what was going on outside the room. You slip the navy sweater off and grab a turtleneck in a darker shade of beige to put on. 

You step outside, and luckily, Neil is sitting exactly where he was sitting before. 

“I like that one a lot too,” He says, looking you up and down just as he did before. “I meant what I said before, you really do look fan-,”

Neil is cut off by the opening of one of the doors. A tall, brown haired man steps out of the door and walks over to the woman by the counter. You keep your smile on your face in an attempt to salvage whatever is left of the mission. Neil does the same. 

“You know, we should probably get going now if we want to make it to our lunch reservations,” You say as the idea pops into your head. This was your way out. 

Neil grins at your cleverness. “Oh wow, I can’t believe it’s time already. Still feels like the day just started!” 

“Time flies when you’re having fun, my love,” You say as you head back into the room. 

You’re overdoing it, dumbass! You mentally yell at yourself. You knew your cover was blown. You take the clothes off, and go to put yours back on. In all your shuffling and panic, you forget one crucial thing. 

The bomb is in the pocket of your pants. 

The second you take your pants off the armchair, the bomb falls out and crashes to the floor. It slides under the door all the way to Neil’s feet. 

“Shit,” You hear Neil curse. 

BANG!

A gunshot rings out in the store. 

You grab your gun from the pocket of your trench coat, force your pants on and run out of the room. 

The man is collapsed on the floor and Neil’s gun is aimed at the woman. You cock your gun and aim as well. 

“I should’ve fucking known from the start,” The woman says, shaking her head. “North American scum, you’re all the same. Slimey little-,”

“Shut the fuck up!” You shout. “You’re going to call whoever you just called, and tell them that you don’t need any further assistance, do you understand?”

She cackles. “No. Why the bloody hell would I do that? There’s at least twenty men on their way down here.” Before you can respond, she reaches for something behind the counter. 

BANG!

You feel a wetness in your right shoulder. It’s an odd, numbing sort of feeling. Everything appears to be fuzzy for a split second. You can’t hear properly, you can’t see properly, it’s like static on a television set. 

BANG!

Everything begins to come back as Neil rushes over to you. He crouches down. You hadn’t even realize that you had fallen over. You look down to your right shoulder, and notice the blood pooling underneath your shirt. You take a deep breath, knowing that this wasn’t the end. You had to push through the mission.

“(Y/N)?” There’s nothing but panic in his eyes. “Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine,” You say, standing up. Neil grabs your arm, helping you. “I mean it, I’m okay. I can do this.” 

Another man bursts into the store through one of the back doors. He brandishes a gun. You hold your pistol up and shoot. 

BANG! 

You hit him in the center of his chest, but the knock back causes you to fall to the ground. “Sh-shit,” You mumble. The pain is too intense for you to say more than that. You take a few deep breaths, trying hard to put yourself back together. 

Another man enters the room, and he grabs the bomb off the floor. 

“We need to go, I can’t have you here like this,” Neil says. He kneels down next to you and scoops you up in his arms. He frees his right hand ever so slightly, aims his gun at the man, shoots, and misses. 

Then, the man aims his gun towards you and Neil. 

There’s another bang, followed by the sound of shattering glass echoing in the store and down the street. 

“N-no, we can’t go. I’ll just shoot with my left hand, I can do it.” But before you could protest any more, Neil had already ran out of the boutique and towards the car. He secures you in the BMW, only for you to unbuckle and attempt to get out. 

But it’s too late. Neil slides in, turns the ignition, and presses down on the gas. 

“No!” You scream. You turn around and watch the boutique disappear behind you. “Neil! What the fuck?” You look over to him. His eyes are locked on the road. 

“What? You wanted to stay back there and die?” He asks, anger growing in his voice. 

“If it meant the mission succeeded and you got to live, then yes, I would have happily died,” You say, turning behind to see if anyone was on your tail. 

Sure enough, three black SUVs were following close behind. Neil looks into the rearview mirror. 

“Shit,” He curses, pressing his foot down onto the gas pedal as hard as he possibly can. He weaves through traffic, turning down a few streets rather erratically before finally hitting the highway. 

“We need to get to the safe house,” Neil explains. “TP said he had the directions to one programmed in the car before we got it. It should be the only directions in the system.” 

You nod, reaching over to the screen and selecting the navigation app. There’s one pre-programmed destination. You click the destination, and the directions load in immediately. 

“I’m going to get them off our ass, okay?” You say, opening your window and grabbing your gun. 

Neil frantically looks over to you, and then back at the road. “What? No! Get the fuck back inside!” He commands, but you ignore him and unbuckle. You carefully slide out the window and sit down on the thin edge. 

You aim your gun at the windshield of the closest SUV and fire. The windshield barely dents. It’s bulletproof. 

“Get inside!” Neil shouts again, shifting lanes quickly and strategically. 

You ignore him again, and aim towards the SUV’s forward right tire. You shoot, and the tire deflates immediately. The car looses control and crashes into the center divider.

“Fuck yeah!” The exhilaration is like a high. You forgot what it felt like to be back in the field and actually doing well at your job.

The other SUVs are close behind, and you aim once again, this time of the back left wheel of one of the vehicles. You pull the trigger, sending the car off into the grass, crashing against a tree on the side of the road. 

“Be careful, alright?” Neil shouts his reminder, hoping that it will have some effect on you. 

There’s one SUV left. Just as you take aim, a man lets himself out of the passenger window and sits in the same position as you. You take a deep breath, and switch your aim to the man instead of the tire. 

“Hey fuckass!” You scream, diverting his attention from the wheels of the BMW to you. “Over here!” You shout. 

“(Y/N)!” Neil shouts angrily. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

BANG!

“(Y/N)!” Neil screams, making sure that you’re still right next to him. 

You take a deep breath. “I-I’m fine. He missed,” You say, but you’re not entirely sure that he did. The burning pain on the right side of your stomach tells you otherwise. 

The man goes to aim towards you again, but before he can shoot, you pull the trigger, hitting him directly in the head. He topples out of the car, giving you the space to shoot the back wheels of the car. The SUV spins out into a nearby street light. 

You slump back into the car, and close the window. Neil takes a quick glance into the rearview mirror to make sure no new SUVs appeared,

“Are they gone?” You ask, silently hoping that Neil would say yes. 

“Yeah, for now,” Neil says, shifting his focus over to you. “Holy fuck, (Y/N), you said he missed!” Neil exclaims. “This is exactly why I fucking took you back to the car in the first place.”

You shake your head. “I didn’t ask you to do that. That was your choice. I make my own choices,” You pause, trying to catch your breath. “I’m an adult, you know. I’m not some kid for you to babysit.” 

You look down at your side, and notice that you’re bleeding out onto the seat. “Oh sh-shit.”

Neil’s gaze focuses off the road and onto your wound for a quick second. “Jesus Christ what the fuck happened, (Y/N)? What did you do?” 

“I saved the mission, what did you do?” You say, frustration heavy in your voice. “I didn’t ask for you to save me. If we just stayed in the boutique another second we could’ve blown the whole place up and-,” 

But you can’t finish. An immense stabbing pain pulses strongly at your side. Your eyes begin to well up. There’s so much pain that you can’t even scream. 

Neil is too focused on the road again to notice what’s happening with you. “Don’t blame this on me! What did you expect me to do? Leave you there? Fuck no,” Neil doesn’t realize that you’re dipping in and out of consciousness. “You don’t understand how much I care about you. You don’t understand what my life would be like if you died. It would be hell (Y/N), absolute hell.” 

Neil stops his rant and looks over to you. “Oh God, I’m so sorry,” Neil’s voice is filled with worry. “Say something (Y/N), or at least try to stay awake.”

You’ve already lost so much blood. It was too hard to concentrate on what Neil was saying, you were too concerned with simply keeping your eyes open.

“N-Neil, a-am I going to make it?” You whimper earnestly. In truth, you were thankful for what Neil had done, you had just been beyond angry that your first mission back was a failure. 

Neil nods, and places a hand on your thigh. “You’re not going anywhere, I promise. I’ve got you,” Neil says. He pushes the gas pedal into the floor. “Just stay awake for me, please.”

But you can’t. Your eyes shut, and suddenly the world goes dark. 

>>>>Chapter 4

tags: 

@kmcedric11​ @annasdani​ @mellifluous-cosmos​

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 40 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 7th, 2018

It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."

I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.

"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."

I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.

"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.

"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."

"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.

I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.

"Noooo! Niall stop!"

I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.

"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.

His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.

I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.

His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.

May 8th, 2018

We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.

I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"

"Are all the rumors true?"

We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.

"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.

I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.

"Do you want us to be?"

His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."

I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."

"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.

He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.

"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.

If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.

                                                          ---

We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.

I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.

"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."

I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.

I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.

"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"

I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.

"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."

This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.

"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."

I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."

"Damn right."

After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.

He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.

"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.

"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."

"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."

I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.

"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"

"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.

"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"

This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.

"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.

"How many do you want?"

"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.

"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.

"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."

I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"

"Bali?" he suggested.

"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.

"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."

"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.

"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"

"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"

"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.

I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.

"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."

I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.

"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.

His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.

"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.

"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"

He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.

"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."

I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.

"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.

My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.

"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.

"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"

"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."

He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.

"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."

My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.

"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.

"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"

I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."

May 9th, 2018

I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.

"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.

"The video?"

"Of you two at the airport!"

I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.

"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"

Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.

"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.

"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."

Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.

"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"

"Sure, we'll do that."

She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.

"For?"

"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”

I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."

"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."

I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."

Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."

[doberbutts]

 Okay so this is going to get long and more than a little bit tmi but it’s a post summing up some strides I’ve made regarding my own transgender journey and I wanted a place to talk about it and maybe help some BabyTrans figure themselves out along the way so I’m putting it under the cut but it’ll go here >:V

Anyway long story short my insurance settlement from my car accident finally figured itself out and I found myself suddenly $30k richer and immediately spent about $10k of that digging myself out of a very deep debt hole I’ve been wallowing in for a while so now I have some actual financial stability plus have some money to throw at some things that would probably make my life a bit better.

And since I have the money to throw at some things, I bought myself a few new binders and also a packer. Binders because my old one was literally disintegrating- part of that is my fault, washing binders in an industrial machine on high heat plus throwing it in the dryer means your binder falls apart faster than it should. Remember I’m from the very end of Ye Olden Days of transmasc products, which means previously most binders lasted a year at most. My binder made it 2.5 years before giving up and becoming a sports bra instead. I’ve learned from my mistakes and treat my binder(s) much more gently now, plus I have more than one so I can rotate them out and not wear the same binder 8-12 hours daily for 2.5 years and kill it doing exactly the same shit.

For reference sake, I’m 5′10′’, 180lbs, 36C bust, and fit a XL from gc2b. Which is who I bought both my previous binder and my current set from. They are low cost, lightweight, well made, and LGBT-owned and operated which makes me super into buying from them instead of some of the other companies offering something similar.

Being that I am biracial and finding something my skintone is always somewhat... interesting... I followed the internet’s suggestion and went with PeeCock for the packer. I’d bought a zip binder from them a few years ago and actually found that to be the most comfortable binder I’ve ever used in the history of ever, but I will say the durability of zip binders is low compared to pull-over binders in my experience, as the zipper exploded one day when I bent down to pick up a small dropped item. I’d had the binder and was rotating its use with my pullover gc2b for about 6 months when this happened, and was in public when I went from flat chested to big uncontained tiddies in the span of seconds. Not great. I’ve been told that probably means it was a little too small for me, but PeeCock is a company based in Singapore, and their sizes like most East Asian clothing do run quite a bit small (I was a XXL in PeeCock sizes when I wore a size L gc2b binder) so there’s not really a lot of wiggle room for me to go up in size. Additionally their sizing taps out at XXXL so anyone who’s bigger than me in the chest/torso is a bit out of luck for their binders. A shame, because that zip binder was so comfortable I fell asleep in it forgetting I even had it on more than once.

Anyway. Since I did like that binder even though we had the wardrobe mishap, and the internet had pretty good reviews on the PeeCock packers because they are multifunctional and actually make correct skin tones for black dudes, I got one. Since money wasn’t an issue I did get the most recent model which was not cheap (~$300) and so far I like it a lot. I got so used to wearing it that when I take it off to clean it, it actually really bothers me. The weight of it is... comforting, in a way.

HOWEVER I did see a bunch of reviews about how I would be super likely to pee on myself the first time using it and then used it and went “wow I don’t have any idea what you guys are talking about this is easy” aaaaand... then peed on myself by accident. Gotta control your stream or things are going to overflow and you’re going to be really sad. And wet. And stinky. Thankfully I had the forethought to practice at home before actually doing this at work/public restrooms but be warned. Being that this is my first one I can’t say if this is common with all packers however I told several of my transmasc friends that do pack and use STP about this experience and they all assured me they did the exact same thing on and off for the first couple weeks and most of them do not have the same brand. We’ve yet to have a repeat at least?

Plus there’s a little attachment rod so I can use it for sexy times with the boyf and also feel what I’m doing to him so there’s that too. 10/10 A+ experience would recommend. The packaging warns you to be careful how you pack because of the way the silicone works, and your partner cannot be on top or ride you, so keep that in mind if you’re considering it. Cleaning is pretty straightforward however and packing feels correct and natural as long as you follow a few rules:

I’ve discovered that whatever size you consider a perfect fit? Unless you like really relaxed fit for your pants, you’ll need to go a size up. I wear tighter clothing and usually skinny jeans at that, and my exact perfect size has been 34/32 for some time now. When packing I need to go up to 36/32 because otherwise wow that crotch is way too tight. I can’t sit down in one of my pairs of jeans and I’m legit sad about it. I also can’t have anything in the pockets of a different pair of jeans or else I have the same tight crotch problem. I went up a size in underwear and that was more comfortable, so I ordered new pants from online and I’ll see if that helps as much as I’m expecting it too.

Speaking of underwear, ymmv, but I genuinely did not expect this. Jockstraps? Super comfy, super durable, and super convenient. Additionally unlike boxers or even briefs, I don’t need a special packing-specific design to be comfortable in one. I never wore one before and honestly this doesn’t even feel like wearing underwear. They’re really just a banana hammock anyway so that’s probably a large part of it, but honestly I would definitely recommend trying them if you haven’t yet. I do have a few pairs of packing briefs and boxers, as well as normal briefs and boxers, and I’ve been alternating between the various types of undies to see which ones I prefer, but I already know my decision so I bought several because I can. One word of advice, though... if your pants ride down understand that your entire butt will be out. I don’t wear low rise pants because they draw too much attention to my waistline and make me super dysphoric, but those that do, watch out.

Jockmail is highly rated and multiple transmasc websites recommend them for packing and I can absolutely see why. Usually the waistband of my underwear irritates my skin and so I was dubious because Jockmail stuff- being that it’s for athletic wear- has a minimum waistband of about 2in... but it’s actually more comfortable and less irritating, rather than the other way around. They also have briefs, boxers (more like short shorts), and boxer briefs, which I also have of the same brand, but... not as comfy. Once again Jockmail is a Hong Kong company so like all East Asian clothes, they run small. I’m a M in most men’s clothing sizes... I am XXL in Jockmail. I also had purchased a brief harness from PeeCock (goes by inches for waist) as well. (Also where I discovered you need to go a size up- I bought a 34in waist brief from PeeCock and it’s a tad tight. I bought a 36in waist brief from Jockmail and it’s perfect. I have been buying 34in waist things for the past few years now- I didn’t suddenly gain 2 inches at the waist, I did suddenly gain a need for a deeper crotch)

If you look down your body from above it will be super obvious that there is a dick there and you will go “oh god I look like I have an erection”. I have been reliably informed that it is actually not true and if you pack correctly a bulge will be there but not so obvious that it looks like you have a raging hardon the whole time. Better to look in the mirror, rather than down your tummy.

(Additionally I voiced my doubts to my boyf who immediately reminded me that most people don’t spend their time staring at someone’s crotch and as long as I wasn’t constantly messing with mine, no one was likely to notice even if I did have an obnoxiously obvious bulge. He then gave me some tips on how to let it hang if I wanted a “natural” look, and when we walked around while I had it on he made sure to check in on my mental health. He’s cute y’all.)

Some (cis) guys will have a specific leg they like to let things hang against. Some switch it up. Some are okay with it hanging straight down provided there’s not a lot of squish happening. Find what feel comfortable and needs the least amount of adjustment for you, and then stick with that. For me, I’ve found straight down or off to the left feels better- a friend of mine prefers off to the right, another straight down only, etc. Also can depend on the size- some (cis) guys I know are a bit smaller down below and are more comfortable with straight down than those with larger weiners.

If you pack you probably need to shave. I was very uncomfortable until I shaved. Now I feel much better packing. So trim that jungle or else you might feel a pinch every few minutes when a hair gets pulled.

And there you have me this morning before I got dressed. As you can see, both fit very nicely. I’m not particularly happy with my stomach or feminine hip set but eh, I cover those with layers and no one bats an eye.

At this point it’s figuring out the whole hormones thing, yelling at my insurance to cover certain surgeries, and... fixing some minor details with my wardrobe... and I’m feeling way more confident than I was a few years ago.

Anyway if anyone has questions feel free to hit me up

[welllpthisishappening]

Of Hockey Thighs and Poorly-Sized Jeans

Hello, hi, hey there internet. I was casually scrolling Twitter this afternoon when I came upon this ESPN story, which is, honestly, the pinnacle of sports journalism. I promptly told everyone I could about it and @distant-rose was like “please write about Killian Jones’ hockey thighs.” And I was like, well, today is my day off and I can’t say no to Ro, so...here’s 2K’ish of Killian Jones’ hockey thighs and Emma Swan being super into that. 

Based almost entirely on real-world experience because my husband buys jeans from one of the companies mentioned in that story. Also because we should all be way more into hockey thighs. Case in point:

“You are a marvel of the human body.”

Killian scowled at her, but Emma simply smiled in response, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands and it wasn’t really funny. It was bordering dangerously close to ridiculous.

“You keep making jokes love and I won’t show up.”

“I know you think that sounds threatening, but I promise it’s not,” Emma argued, not even bothering to shake her head. “I know where you live.”

That got him to change his expression.

And Emma couldn’t really help the smile that spread across her own face, not quite slow and certainly not measured. It was, she assumed, because everything was still so new and exciting and sharing a space with someone was not nearly as intimidating as she thought it was going to be.

It was, occasionally, a little frustrating – she hated drying dishes and Killian hated letting dishes air dry, something about spots or another word she’d only been half listening to because there was no point in drying dishes when the air was more than willing to do just that – but it wasn’t the overwhelming horror some dark, nervous corner of Emma’s brain was, still, certain it had to be.

It was nice.

It was comfortable.

It was an arrangement that led, rather quickly, to her discovering that Killian owned one pair of jeans.

And they were ripped.

She’d found that out less than twenty-four hours before a season tickets event that would not only require him to show up, but to wear casual clothes, an attempt at being relatable that probably wouldn’t work with an absolutely massive hole in the bottom of his jeans.

Because his goddamn thighs were too goddamn big from playing too many goddamn hockey games. Ass too. It was…ridiculous. There was no other word for it. Emma could not possibly be expected to come up with another word for it when she was having such a difficult time coming to terms with the overall circumference of Killian’s lower body.

“That’s true,” Killian admitted, leaning back against the wall in Macy’s. It was a miracle that no one had spotted them yet, a last-ditch effort with only a few hours to spare and Emma’s phone had been ringing nearly non-stop the entire time they’d been pacing the few feet of men’s section in the back corner of the building.

“But?”

“Why do you think there’s a but?”

“Isn’t that the crux of our problem here?”

He rolled his eyes, although Emma counted the quick quirk of his lips as some kind of victory. “That wasn’t even clever, Swan. That was—“

“—Hysterical. I know it was.”

“Awfully confident in your own humor. I’m going to show up pants-less to your event.”

“Regina would kill you.”

“You’re not worried about me showing up pants-less?”

“Eh,” Emma shrugged, the smile on her face threatening to make some of the muscles in that same face ache. Ridiculous. “How has this not been a problem for you before? You literally owned one pair of jeans?”

“I wasn’t really going a lot of places that required me to wear jeans that were casual while still being the face of the franchise,” Killian said. He huffed, a put-upon sound that only served to make the entire situation drift even closer to farce, particularly when he was wearing team-branded sweatpants. “And,” he continued, “if unpacking memory serves, you own no pairs of jeans.”

Emma’s smile disappeared almost immediately.

“That’s different.”

Killian quirked an eyebrow, the hint of a smirk full-blown as he tugged on several pairs of Levi’s they’d already decided were the world’s ugliest color. “Is it just?” he drawled, and it only took half a moment for him to move into Emma’s space, crowding against her front and they were going to draw a crowd for a reason totally unrelated to the team-branded sweats.

“If you get us kicked out of this Macy’s, I swear I will make you sleep on the couch later,” Emma warned.

“I don’t think that’s true at all.”

“You want to play that game?”

“I’d love to play several games with you, love,” Killian muttered, ducking his head to press the words against her jaw, “but I’m afraid we don’t have time before you have to impress the season tickets.”

“You have to impress season tickets,” Emma corrected. “And I don’t own jeans because they’re the worst and it’s impossible to find any that fit.”

“You see my problem then.”

Emma groaned, letting her head thump into his collarbone and she didn’t think she imagined his lips ghosting over the top of her hair. Her phone rang again. “Maybe we should ask somebody? Or you could just try on more horrible washes.”

“The pants-less thing isn’t an option then?”

She didn’t lift her head up. She laughed. He definitely kissed her hair. “I really do think Regina would kill you. Plus the fine. Detrimental to the team or something.”

“You think there are specific words for that?”

“I don’t think there are specific words for any of this,” Emma muttered, nipping at the bit of skin not covered by his t-shirt. The arm she hadn’t realized had snuck around her waist tightened. “What did you do when you were a kid?”

Killian hummed in confusion, leaning back with slightly twisted eyebrows and that same, far too distracting smirk. “Wore baggier jeans.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no. I was there, Swan, I promise that’s what happened. They fit my thighs and—“

“—What, fell off your hips?”

“Ok, my thighs are not that big.”

“Your ass though,” Emma mumbled, yelping far too loudly when he tugged her flush against his chest. She did her best to swat at his arms, twisting and turning, but that was almost as distracting as the smirk and they were definitely going to get kicked out of Macy’s.

That would also probably scandalize the season tickets.

And Regina.

“I think that means you’ve been staring at my ass quite a bit,” Killian said, chuckling against her when Emma almost visibly shivered.

Ridiculous.

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

Emma shook her head, a feat she was particularly proud of considering the rather constricting limbs still wrapped around her. “You heard me. Plus, you’ve got all that padding when you’re playing and that’s probably warping my perception and—“

She didn’t finish.

Killian ducked his head again, her knees bending on instinct and back twisting on something that she wasn’t sure her spine particularly appreciated, but the laugh seemed to bubble out of Emma anyway and the kisses pressed along her neck sent a shockwave of something through every inch of her.

Something good.

Wonderful.

Indefinite.

That was a better word. Longer lasting than the one pair of jeans the two of them had previously owned, at least.

“Oh my God,” she said, voice still shaking and the nearest Macy’s employee kept casting them furtive glances. “You are a menace.”

“You’ve just spent the last three minutes waxing poetic about several of my body parts, love, I think I’m going to have to disagree with you.”

Her phone rang again. Or was still ringing.

Emma scoffed, still doing her best to take a step back, which didn’t really make any sense when that was the absolute, last thing she wanted to be doing, but they needed to be a few blocks further west nearly ten minutes before and—

“We’ve got to buy something,” she said.

Killian kissed her cheek. “Maybe I’ll just show up in uniform pants. Then you can continue whatever science experiment you’re running with me and the parts you’re obviously very attracted to.”

“Presumptuous.”

“And you, love, have far too many opinions,” he said, moving back into Emma’s eye line only to catch her lips with his before she was entirely prepared for it.

That may have been the most ridiculous thing that had happened all day.

Emma sighed against him, letting her forehead rest against his and she’d pressed up on her toes to reach him easier at some point. The arm around her waist was still there as well, fingers tracing over the base of her spine, and maybe she should have worn heels if they were going to be doing so much kissing.

They couldn’t kiss that much in front of the season tickets.

That was disappointing.

“What size is your waist?” she asked, doing her best to keep whatever conversation they were having on, relative, track. Killian grinned.

“34.”

“Which makes your thighs…”

“Bigger than that.”

“That’s no help at all.”

Killian chuckled, leaning around Emma to grab a pair of dark-washed jeans that didn’t proclaim themselves to be anything except fitted, like that was an actual size and maybe they should actually be having some kind of conversation about the inconsistencies in sizing across brands and stores.

That seemed more difficult than another Cup run.

“Let me try these on,” he said, pulling Emma along with him towards the changing room they’d only recently left.

And it took, exactly, four minutes, several pointed expletives and a few words that were absolutely, positively, not English for Emma to kick her foot lightly agains the door.

“You’re not exactly doing much to inspire confidence out here, Cap.”

He groaned. “That’s because—God, fucking hell.”

“Not much better, honestly.”

The door swung open, jeans tugged three-quarters of the way up his legs and it wasn’t funny. It wasn’t. Emma’s…whatever was in charge of controlling laughter did not care.

She tugged her lips back behind her teeth, biting down to try and silence the noise. It didn’t work. And Killian looked vaguely scandalized, standing there with jeans that didn’t fit and briefs that were distracting in their own right and several pieces of hair at the back of his head were sticking up.

“Oh my—“

“—Do not, laugh at this, Swan. This is—“

“—Not funny.”

“It’s not.”

“I know.”

“It’s not.”

Emma nodded seriously, a bit of blood in her mouth from chewing so tightly on her lower lip. Killian sighed, shoulders shifting and a noise that may have almost been an attempt at a laugh.

“Totally not funny,” she said again.

“Absurd.”

“That’s a good word for it.”

His eyebrows shifted. Which, honestly, combined with the questionable amount of clothes he was wearing did something very particular to Emma’s pulse. “Were you having a difficult time coming up with appropriate terminology, Swan?”

“You spend too much time on the ice.”

“I think you like me on the ice.”

“I think we should get one size up, buy a belt and hope neither one of us is embarrassed in the next four hours or so.”

Killian didn’t move, but his lips twitched slightly – far too confident, despite the battle against designer-name jeans. The briefs were red. Emma’s eyes kept flickering towards them. “Only tailored dress pants from now on,” he said. “And I’m taking the jeans off as soon as we get home.”

“I mean, maybe wait until we get back in the apartment. You’ll scandalize the night security guy.”

“His name is Robert.”

“It does not surprise me that you know that. You going to be able to get out of those jeans or—“

His eyebrows did not make sense. And the tip of his tongue pressed into the corner of his mouth was downright offensive. “That sounds suspiciously like you’re offering to help me out of my jeans, Swan.”

“I didn’t say that at all,” Emma argued. “Must be losing blood flow to your brain or something.”

“Hmmmm.”

“You can take the pants off as soon as we lock the door.”

Killian grinned and made sure to do just that as soon the click echoed in the air around them, hands darting towards his belt at the same time he toed out of his shoes and Emma kept laughing.

That was nice. That was happy. She was happy.

His jeans were way too big.

He kept having to tug at the waist all night.

“Never again,” Killian mumbled, nearly tripping over the fabric as he tried to shake his leg out. Emma’s head bumped agains the door she suddenly found herself pressed against, but she barely felt it, far too preoccupied with those red briefs and whatever his hands were doing and she was regretting wearing heels again.

That changed rather quickly – as soon as Killian’s arm worked its way back around her waist, tugging her up and pressing his lips against hers. And her cheek. And her jaw. And the side of her neck.

They both nearly tripped over the goddamn jeans while stumbling down the hallway.

She woke up to find Killian already in the shower the next morning, padding into the kitchen with the jeans still in the same spot on the floor. Emma kicked at them, certain she’d pick them up on the way to her own shower, but something caught her eye as soon as her toes landed on fabric.

“Oh my God,” she mumbled, crouching down and the morning security guy probably heard whatever sound she made.

It might have been a guffaw. That was a good word.

Because the inside of the jeans were already a different color than they’d been on the Macy’s rack, rubbed together for several consistent hours of talking to season tickets and posing for photos and moving around the room because Emma and Merida had come up with a pretty detailed schedule and—

There was a hole in them.

It wasn’t big, but there was enough room that Emma’s finger pushed through relatively easily and she didn’t bother moving when she heard the footsteps behind her.

“You’re a jeans goon,” Emma accused, glancing over her shoulder to find a still-damp and clearly amused Killian.

“I think the jeans challenged me to a fight, I won and you’re still incredibly attracted to my thighs.”

“And your ass.”

“I knew it.”

Emma made a face, sticking her tongue out. “I’m throwing these away.”

“You’ll get no argument from me,” he said, squeezing her shoulder when she stood up. “What if we just never bought another pair of jeans again?”

She ignored whatever happened in the pit of her stomach at that, a hint of want in the words and even more when his eyes flickered up towards her, and Emma found herself nodding almost immediately.

“Dress it is then.”

Killian grinned. “Even better.”

[thepenisparker]

hold it in ➻ tom holland x reader [SMUT]

@taytayfan10 said:

Heeyy! Can you do an imagine where Tom gets so drunk and confess his love for the reader and then they fuck like really intense? Thanks xoxo

warnings: "intense" smut, alcohol, lil bit of swearing

words: too fuckin many 3,397

hold it in.

You laid in bed, watching a Netflix comedy special instead of doing the homework you were supposed to be doing. Your friends all went to a big party that didn't seem to interest you tonight. You didn't feel like going out, getting all ready just to be disappointed when the guy you've had a crush on since you met him chose other girls to take home.

So, you decided to stay in. Be productive instead of disappointed. So far, productive wasn't the right word but you were better here than watching some girl grind on Tom and settling going home with some guy that you'd never normally go home with.

You were fine with that, fine with laying in bed with no makeup, natural hair, no pants just your giant t-shirt from middle school that you never really grew into. Your roommate was texting you all night, you two never really got along but still let each other know whether you were going to go to be home or where you were.

hey girllllllll, everyones kinda leaving but ive spotted a hottie w th a body im gunna see if hes gunnan eat this pu$$y

read 2:34 AM

ok have fun ;) let me know if you're coming home

delivered 2:35 AM

You wanted to turn in but you weren't tired enough. Trying to close your eyes but opting to dance around your studio apartment getting drunk off the homemade mimosa's. Only being cut off by a knocking at the door. Figuring it was a neighbor complaining about the noise, you lowered the volume and decided to just answer the door as is, just hiding your bottom half.

Upon opening the door, you were surprised at a boy's upper half that fell onto your floor.

"(Y/N)!" Tom muttered, rolling his head with his eyelids hooded and laughing at nothing. He was well dressed in a dark blue button up that sported adorable white flowers on it, dark jeans, and a leather jacket.

"Tom? What are you doing here?" You asked, still trying to hide your practically naked lower half.

"Harrison is getting laid.." he laughed, patting his stomach, "So I can't be in there."

"Ok, well. Come in." You said waving him in. He stood up but not very stable and he wouldn't stop looking at you. You tried your best to keep your shirt as low as possible.

"Ehe." You heard him laugh as you run to your chest of drawers.

"What?" You asked, grabbing a pair of leggings as quickly as possible and putting them on.

"You're not wearing pants." He pointed out.

"Well, I wasn't exactly expecting company." You said, trying to put hair in front of your face to cover up the fact you were all natural. He was your friend for a long time, but you still had a big crush on him as much as you said you gave up on it. You know you didn't.

"You didn't have to put on pants for me," Tom said, sitting down at the counter in your kitchen section. You were always nervous about him being in your apartment since his was the penthouse on the top floor with Harrison and yours was this tiny little-broken apartment. It was good enough for you and your roommate but with Tom, you felt embarrassed.

"Yeah, of course." You rolled your eyes as your drunk friend put his head against his palm. You grabbed him a water bottle and started making him a grilled cheese so he wouldn't have as bad a hangover the next day.

"It's hot in here." he complained, taking off his jacket and throwing it across the floor.

"How was the party?"

"You're so pretty." He mumbled, staring at you. He admired the side profile, thinking of how sweet you were to start caring for him when he showed up. You didn't have to but you did, "It sucked."

"Thanks, Tom." Knowing he was drunk and didn't want to get your hopes up too high. Still, your ears went hot as a blush crept across your cheeks. He had always had a flirty personality, sometimes him flirting didn't mean anything, "And why'd it suck?"

"Because!" He announced, not really knowing how loud he was, "You weren't there."

He kicked in his chair like a child.

"I'm sure it was still fun." You said, flipping the grilled cheese.

"But it wasn't as fun. Why didn't you come?" He asked standing up, not being able to contain his energy. "I just, uh, I didn't feel like going out tonight." You said, flattered that he cared so much.

"But I wanted you to come so badly tonight!" He whined, putting his hands on both the counter and the island blocking the exit to the kitchen.

"Yeah? Maybe next weekend." You said, plating the grilled cheese and putting it on the counter for him. Noticing he had drank all the water already. He looked at the sandwich and then you, "You need to eat that."

"I'd much rather eat something else." Tom said, low. His tone already giving you butterflies, your mouth started to water looking at his outspread arms.

"I have chips if you want that?" Your voice shook, ripping your eyes off him to turn around. He shook his head no.

"Why don't you get it?" He said, causing you to turn around.

"Get what?" You asked. He loved the expression on your face, the way your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." He walked fast up to you, grabbing your face and harshly putting his lips to yours, pushing those bits of hair away clutching it against the sides of your face. His body pushed you against the back counter. You didn't know what to do with your hands suddenly, you were so genuinely surprised by his frustrations with you. You'd seen him drunk before, he was always touchy and flirty but you took it as your drunk friend Tom even though you wished it had been more than that.

Tom didn't go any further than one kiss, knowing you were surprised by it. He had started thinking much clearer, he knew you were going to chastise him for doing that while he was drunk but he had to. If he was sober he wouldn't have had the courage to tell you how he felt let alone kiss you. He couldn't believe he had done it, regretting immediately how he acted at the party he was at. Convincing himself you were at your apartment fucking someone else again who didn't care the way he did. When he had planned to tell you there since he knew it was on the beach, he could take you out there and tell you but then you didn't come and he thought he was too late.

"Why'd you do that?" You asked when he stopped.

"Because I've liked you for a long time. And I'm tired of holding it in." He said, still holding your face, feeling if he let go you'd disappear.

"Tom, you're drunk. Don't do that to me." You begged with your eyes, pleading him not to tease you like this. You grabbed his hand but he wouldn't let go. Knowing he must know you like him, maybe in the way you acted or someone told him and didn't want this kind of game to be played with you.

"I'm not, I'm not messing with you." He panicked, sobering up fast, and moving his hands down to your sides "I wanted to tell you tonight, the party was on a beach and I was going to take you down there and-and stuff. You know to tell you how I felt."

"But- what?" You said, crossing your arms, slowly losing your mind "I just, me? You never- what? Like I don't know how to say it, I'm just blindsided right now. I don't-"

He kissed you again. This time you kissed him back, feeling your heart doing somersaults in your chest. His fingers dug into your waist, wanting to finally feel more of you. Begging to be believed.

"I'm sorry." He leaned his forehead into yours, "You were just so cute when you're cute. I mean confused. I've just been too scared, you're so beautiful and kind and smart. How you're everything I've always wanted, and more."

You laughed, wanting more of his lips. They were even softer than you thought, his body is warmer and his hands rougher. No longer tasting the lingering taste of alcohol on his lips, "I've waited so long for you to think of me like this. But you were always with other girls-"

"You were with other guys." Tom pointed out, leaning his head to nibble at your neck, "I only got so drunk thinking about what you were doing instead.. inviting some other guy over.. who doesn't know you the way I do.. who doesn't care about you the way I do.."

"What makes you think you know me so well?" You said, breathy, already writhing under his long awaited touch. He looked at your eyes for permission, "Prove it."

With that, Tom didn't hold back anymore. He picked you up by the thighs and dropped you on the counter. His fingertips dug harshly into your inner thighs, spreading them so he could get closer to you. Your lips fought each other, after waiting for too long there had been so much pent up between the two of you.

He tugged at the back of your hair, giving him easier access to your neck, nipping and rolling bits of skin between his teeth then kissing it over to soothe it. He didn't want another guy to take you home ever again, make sure people knew you were going to be his from now on. His left hand drifted up your side, his thumb just toying under your breast, waiting for permission. You removed your hands from massaging his shoulders down to his collar, beginning to unbutton his shirt as a sign of your permission.

Tom gladly accepted, finally separating your bodies only so you could help smoothe his shirt off his chest. You snuck your hands under his shirt, smoothing your hands over his chest, and shoulders. Your touch replacing what was once clothed. He watched you as you did it, for the first time slowing things down a bit, he was reminded of why he chose you. Seeing how slow and delicate you were, looking as if Tom was the most beautiful art exhibit in the world. Nobody had ever seen him like this, not when he saw them in the same way.

Grabbing your chin, he reconnected with you not able to stand to be away for too long. He snuck his hand under your t-shirt, desperate to show you that he was serious.

"Get this bloody thing off." He grunted, you lifted your hands up and he practically ripped it off you, throwing it across the apartment. He trailed his kisses down, landing just on your collarbone, holding your sides, gently slowing as he kissed over your breasts and began to pepper kisses around and onto your nipples. Worshipping them, tenderly rolling between his fingers and sucking which produced a moan from you. It was music to his ears.

He surprised you, picking you up off the counter to land you on your bed in the corner of the room. You grabbed onto the curls on the back of his neck, watching as he trailed down lower, feeling the coil prepare itself. You so desperately wanted him everywhere.

"Tom..." You muttered, rolling off your tongue knowing you didn't know what else to say.

"You want me down here, darling?" He asked in a husky tone, looking at his dancing fingers around our leggings waistband. Never had asking for consent sound so hot.

"Everywhere." You begged. He loved you begging.

He slowly grabbed them and trailed them down your legs, lifting them up to do so. With his other hand, he trailed them up your now bare thighs, kissing at the exposed flesh. Starting at your ankle, his kisses trailed up. Teasing your aching core, you already knew you were going to lose it when he finally got there. Soon enough, his hair tickled your inner thighs, his hot breath blowing against your wet center. You were so thankful you felt as though all your dreams were coming true.

He moved your panties to the side, getting his first glimpse of heaven, seeing you were already moist he pressed his thumb to your folds, rubbing back and forth until he dug himself to your clit. He started his motions slow, like an artist beginning strokes of a paintbrush. He put your leg on his shoulder, massaging your hips with both of his thumbs as his mouth finally made an appearance. He licked a long stipe up your core, tasting you finally, moaning as he did which send vibrations up you. He then began to suck and twirl expertly on your clit, holding down your hips as you shook beneath him, only turning him on further.

"Tom, oh my-" You let out, becoming a breathing mess. He then stuck a finger inside, curling it up to try and ready you, but it only added more pleasure to the equation. He continued to suck with his mouth, adding another finger. You gripped onto his hair tightly, the sheets balled in your other fist as the coil in you gave in for the first time.

"Oh my god, I'm cumming-" You let out, most guys can't do that. The surprise was genuine as shock and pleasure went up your spine, arching your back. Tom didn't let you rest though, grabbing the hands you had in his hair and on sheets and placing them above your head as he lowered himself over you. He kissed you roughly, allowing you to taste yourself but you wanted to taste him.

You trailed your hands up, down his chiseled abs and landing on his belt, he grabbed your hands and replaced them where they were.

"This about me proving to you, not the other way around." Tom reminded you, smirking into a kiss as he reached around you one hand under your back and arching your back and the other grazing your breasts.

"I just-" You spoke your best between kisses, "want to reciprocate."

"Maybe another night." He didn't allow, "What about.." he trailed his hand from your breast down into the home of your panties again, "What I can do for you?"

"Tom- Please." You forget how to speak as he leaves his hand down there without doing anything.

"Please what?" He hummed, sending shivers down your neck as he kissed and licked near your earlobe.

"I want you." Reaching for your nightstand drawer, he got into what you were saying and left you for a moment to grab the condoms you left in the drawer. You whimpered as he left, missing the weight of his body.

But an idea popped into your head, you started to undo his belt practically ripping it from the belt loops. After he had one in his hand you flipped him over, he laughed as you did. Allowing you to desperately take off his jeans, seeing the outline of his member in his tight boxers. With him below you, it allowed you to finally worship him, kissing around his waist, up his chest. He grabbed you up finally, lifting you from down there to straddle him face to face. He switched it again so that he was on top, feeling as though you were wrestling for it, but with you laying there, he was able to sit up taking off his boxers as his hard erection finally escaped from the confines of the tightness of his clothing. Your hands and eyes wandered it, thinking of all the things he could do to you.

"Right, this needs to come off too." He opted to rip off your panties.

"Did you just-?" You asked, but cut off by him

"I'll get you some new ones." He mumbled grabbing your legs and lifting your core up to his mouth. The only thing left of you touching the bed was your neck, his muscles holding your legs around his shoulders as he knelt on the bed. He returned his mouth to your clit, readying you again as if looking at him wasn't jarring enough for your sopping core.

"Please Tom, I need you." You begged. Tom couldn't bear hearing his name said like that by your voice any longer. He shoved you back down and up back to your regular position, holding your hands up with one hand.

He grabbed his cock with one hand sliding it up and down your folds, circling the stiffness around your aching pleasure point. Your back arched, and he removed his hand from holding your wrists to hold your back in an arch. And then finally, slowly, he entered you, stretched you in ways you didn't know were possible. Your breath was on his ear, only urging more of a moan from the sensation of being inside of you.

His hand flew up to your arm, harshly running it up until your fingers were intertwined. He began to move then, slowly at first, then picking up and not able to contain himself.

"Harder.." You practically whimpered in his ear, he granted your wish. His hips begging to smack into yours with more force, your hands flew to his back, scratching at it and pulling at his shoulders, you needed all of him. He lifted back up to his knees, keeping contact with you but his hands now deep into your thighs. You bit your lip and it drove him wild, putting a thumb to pressurize your clit while he pounded into you.

He then stopped altogether, feeling empty without him, you opened your eyes. His bottom lip sucked in, you yelped as he flipped you over to your stomach. Pulling you up to your knees, he wrapped his arm around to find your clit, kissing up your spine and you trembling in a way you never had before. He brought his throbbing cock to your core again, you breathed out in a gasp as you felt him enter again, walls clenching and hugging him as sweet lover. He groaned as you did.

"Fuck.." He cursed, knowing he was going to lose it like this. He went harder this time, giving a quick slap to your ass, he rubbed his hands up your sensitive back and pressing your shoulders to ask for more friction against him. His hands ran back down to your waist, arching it down with the palm of his hand and grabbing your hair with his other. You were feeling so much intense pleasure, feeling all of him, losing your mind by how insanely good you felt. Your legs shaking you didn't think you were going to last much longer.

He kept going until he heard your magic words, "I think I'm going to-"

"Me too.." He muttered, for the first time: weakly. His hand from your back reached your clit, urging you closer to the edge.

"I'm-" like that you dropped, and felt the most intense orgasm in months. He followed soon behind you his own cum filling the condom while still inside of you. Laying on our stomach, you shivered with waves of pleasure hitting you. You barely realized Tom had gotten up to throw away the condom and wipe off before he came back.

He jumped onto the bed, filling the cold spot next to you.

"Enjoy yourself?" He asked, proud of himself for when he touched your back, you shook and practically purred.

"Mmm.." You hummed, your eyes finally opening, and looking at him with the eyes he so adored.

"I proved how much I really, genuinely, adore you?" He pestered you, bringing you closer and rolling you off your stomach to be nearer to him again.

"I'd say yeah- I mean. Yes, I definitely believe you right now." You jumbled words, still feeling so loose and relaxed and happy. A few moments went by of cuddling before he spoke again.

"So.. I forgot to ask earlier.." He ran a hand through his sweaty curls, "You like me back right?"

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought by liking or reblogging or sending a message!

If you have a request, my message box is very open and I’d love to have more!

[ofheroesandheralds]

OC Interview Meme - Saarnos

Tagged by: No one. Saw it by coincidence on @seboostianillustrations‘ blog, and wanted to do it.

Tagging: @taerellavellan and/or @oceans-bleed-black, and perhaps @thereluctantinquisitor and @angrykittybarbarian if any of you are in the mood to do it! I’d also love to tag @chaitea09 but tumblr won’t let me. Also, anyone who’s not tagged but in the mood to do it shall feel free to do so, and tag me too so I can take a look at all your cool OCs!

1. What is your name?

“Saarnos Adaar. That translates to ‘raging flame’.”

2. What is your real name?

“That is my real name. Or are you asking for the name my parents gave me? That would be Junior. Well... Ramin, officially, but they’d never use that.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

”Yes, because my parents wanted me to choose my own name once I was... uh... mature enough. My father was Tal-Vashoth, and he valued freedom very highly. Especially the freedom to choose your own identity, which you couldn’t ever do under the Qun, so they called me by a neutral nickname so I wouldn’t grow too attached to the official one."

4. Are you single or taken?

He laughs.

”I wouldn’t call myself taken, but I’d lie if I said I was single, too. There is that one man I have... an affair with, whenever we both happen to be in the same place, but neither of us calls it a relationship, and we both see other people too when we’re in the mood.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

”Plenty of them! First of all I’m a mage. A fire mage, specifically, which was the main reason for the name I chose. I’m also a damn fine dancer, an acrobat, and I could kick an apple from the top of your head while balancing on one hand and having the other one tied to my back!”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

He gives a huge grin.

“How am I supposed to stop being perfect at everything when I’m just... perfect at everything?”

7. What’s your eye color?

“Some would say yellow, but I prefer to call it golden.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Black. Simple as that. No touch of blue or anything, not ‘just a very dark brown’ - just black. Silky and shiny, though!”

9. Have you any family members?

“Not anymore. At least none that I know of. My parents both already passed away, and I don’t have any siblings. There were also no more relatives on my mother’s side, but since my father used to live under the Qun, we never got to know if he had any other relatives.”

10. Oh? What about pets?

“Nah. I like animals, but I’m not really the type to keep any. Taking care of another creature would interfere with my lifestyle, so I’m sparing myself of that... as well as the animals.”

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

He groans.

“Cold weather. I hate it. I mean, I don’t have a big problem staying warm or anything, I’ll just make my own fire, but... I can’t quite explain it, there’s just something to it that I really, really don’t like. I try to stay away from cold or rainy places. Might just be my Antivan heart!”

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

”I live for my artistry! I’ve made it into my profession, actually, it’s how I make my money most of the time. My favorite discipline is a... a mixture of dancing and fighting, I don’t know if there is a name for that specific style. But it looks quite spectacular, if I’m allowed the vanity! Especially when paired with fire.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Sure. When you live a life out travelling most of the time, at some point someone will try to rob you, and you gotta make sure they fail, right?”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“Not before I ran into the Inquisition. And I’m also not sure if those darkspawns count as ‘someone’.“

15. What kind of animal are you?

Again, a wide grin spreads across his face.

“If I was an animal, I’d be a tiger! Look at my vitaar, I’m on the best way there!”

16. Name your worst habits.

“Why does it have to be multiple? I can’t even think of a single bad habit I have. I guess that question is better answered by people who know me, and not myself."

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“I don’t think so, nah.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“A little bit of everything? Nah, honestly, as long as you’re an adult, and qunari like me, I couldn’t give less of a shit about what’s going on in your pants.”

19. Do you go to school?

“My father used to teach me some things when I was younger, but I’ve never been to an actual school.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Ahh, oh no, probably not. I mean, I cannot speak for what’ll be in the future, but at this point in my life, with children, it’s the same as with animals. I have nothing against them, they usually love me, but I couldn’t see myself having any. That sort of responsibility doesn’t fit into my life."

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

“Oh I bet I have, but so far there’s only one person of whom I know with certainty that he likes me.”

22. What are you most afraid of?

“Being made into a saarebas, probably. The entire idea of it is just horrible, I’d rather die than living like that.”

23. What do you usually wear?

He smirks.

“As little as possible. But when I travel, I wear some light plate, mostly around the arms and legs, as well as a shoulder piece. And a waist cloth, for some decency. Not that I gave a damn, but a lot of people seem to do.”

24. Do you love someone?

“Not romantically, if that’s what you’re asking.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“As a child. Why would you even ask that?”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“I am just fine, keep the questions coming!”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“I don’t know if I fit into any class. Back at home with my parents, I’d have said middle class, but now? I’ve got everything I need, so I don’t really care.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“Huh. That depends on how you define that. I've been to a lot of places, and I’ve gotten to know a lot of people, most of whom I’ve gotten along with, but if you’re talking about that ‘willing-to-die-for-each-other’ kind of friends, I... don’t think I’ve got any.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“I like it. I prefer savory over sweet, though. Filled with meat and some good spices! I like it spicy.”

30. Favourite drink?

“I don’t even think I have one. Anything that has some taste to it, I like my food and drinks with some intensity.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“Probably Antiva. And it’s not even some ‘back to the roots’ thing, it’s just nice there. I like the people, the mentality. And also it’s nice and warm.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“I am very easily interested in people, so most of the time, I could answer that question with ‘Yes’.”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

A smirk plays around his lips, while he narrows his eyes a little.

“You want me to show you? No, really! All I need to do is lift that cloth a little...! ... What? No? Hah, I thought so.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“I’m not that much of a swimmer. I can do it, but not all too well, so I guess I’d prefer a lake? At least those end somewhere.”

35. What’s your type?

“Other qunari. Apart from that, I don’t have a type. Attraction comes spontaneously, I can’t tell you what traits I find more attractive than others, it really is a matter of my mood.”

36. Any fetishes?

“I like to have sex on a big pile of gold? ... What did you expect, a serious answer? Well. I’m not sure if I’d call it a fetish, but I really am into gold, meaning I like jewelry on my partners. It makes looking at an attractive body even more interesting!”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“I can do whatever feels best in the current situation. I would, however, not call myself submissive, it’s more like... letting a dominant person be dominant if that’s the only way they feel comfortable. I prefer being on one level.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“I’m very used to both, so it’s really not one over the other.”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“Nah, I’m fine, I do like to talk about myself.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Aww, that was mean! Alright, it was fun to talk to you. Have a nice day!”

[hazinhoodies]

October part 4

A/N: i had this ready for so long and decided to rewrite it last night and i didn’t proofread to the best of my abilities so im sorry. all parts are tagged under october fic

Warnings: none

Word count: 2k (the longest chapter so far at least)

Emma and Hannah talked for the rest of the night about anything they could. When no one spoke, they sat in a comfortable silence until it was broken with one of them sarcastically threatening the other or speaking with no provocation.

“Cough one more time and I’ll throw you in the lake” -Emma 9:34

“What do you think our pets name us?” -Hannah 9:57

“Thanks, I hate it” -Emma 10:22

“How confused do you think a lion would be if it saw an octopus?” -Hannah 10:49

“Frankenstein is oddly symmetrical” -Also Hannah 

After the last one Emma finally looked up. “You know, it’s times like these when I wonder how we ever became friends’

“We were both lonely so we decided to be lonely together”

“Ah right, the greatest mistake of my life” Emma recalled. Hannah’s jaw dropped in shock

“Emma!”

“Okay okay i’m sorry” Emma couldn’t hold back her laughter “I should probably go, it’s getting late here” She glanced at the clock 11:52pm.

“Oh sure break my heart and run away why don’t you” Hannah spoke flatly before they said their goodbyes and hung up.

Emma hadn’t noticed how dark her room had actually become until Hannah had hung up. Her laptop providing the only light in the room. She quickly changed and got into bed, pulling the duvet up over her shoulders. She started to ponder the events of the day, almost definitely overthinking everything. How could you have already made him hate you.

Harrison lied awake in his bed, he’d been struggling to sleep for a while. The photo still etched into his brain. Did something happen? Was it just for a project?  He’d never craved answers so much. If he could actually talk to her without making a fool of himself then maybe he’d get them. After about another hour and a glass of water, sleep finally took over.

A few days had passed and went pretty well. Emma had already figured out how to get around set, at least to the important parts; Her trailer, Toms trailer, Z’s, Jacob’s. The important ones. Her first interview of the day was Tony, she had to wait an hour or so for Z and Jacob to finish their next scene so she stayed in Tony’s trailer and talked with him.

They asked each other an abundance of questions. By the end of it Tony could have probably written her biography. Emma could have answered any questions you had about him. Favourite food? Favourite colour? She knows it.

“You and Tony got real close huh?” Z asked after her interview.

Emma shrugged “I guess so. I mean, he’s really nice and we had an hour to kill so we just.. Talked. Things just flowed. It was a nice change honestly”

‘Change from what?” Z looked over at her as Emma sighed. “Come sit here, we’re gonna be awhile” she patted the seat next to her and Emma sat down.

“A change from from what?” Zendaya repeated

“Holland and co” Emma paused “They're all super nice don’t get me wrong, Sam and I constantly. Just whenever Harrison is there things get kinda awkward”

Zendayas features soften, her voice filled with sympathy “He’s just like that sometimes I guess. Tom and him have been friends for years already. Just don’t take it to heart Em.” Emma nodded “Good. Now tonight you’re coming back to my hotel with me and we’re gonna talk got it? Great”

Emma chuckled “I see that i get no say in this whatsoever”

Zendaya shook her head “None at all”

Once Z wrapped, her driver drove both of them back to her hotel, which was significantly larger than Emmas.

“Okay important stuff first” Zendaya starts as soon as the door shuts behind them. “Hogwarts house. Favourite musical. Favourite band or artist or whatever” she counts them off on her fingers as she speaks.

Emma smiled “Ravenclaw, les mis or grease, probably Bowie”

“Bowie, really?” Zendaya echoed as they sat down on the couch, Emma nodded

“Yeah or maybe the Beatles” Zendaya looked shocked “What do you think i only ever listen to orchestra music?”

“No just didn’t picture you as a classic rock fan”

“I’m just full of surprises” Emma spoke sarcastically.

“Okay well I still know nothing about you and that seems kind of unfair considering you could google everything about me. So tell me stuff” Z leaned in closer, whispering the last sentence

“How personal do you want me to get?” Emma asked

“As much as your comfortable with” Z explained.

“I mean if were going all the way back I lived with my mom growing up, bout an hour outside of Toronto, never really knew my dad. I have a few vague memories but he left when I was six so they aren’t much. I’ve always been pretty music-oriented and my family never knew where I got it from. They were all science and math people My best friend, Hannah, we met when we were 7 at a youth band thing and have been stuck together since. We did everything together. We actually both graduated early and applied to the same universities but she stayed in the city to do musical neuroscience and I moved six hours away for performance music and then switched into composition” Emma ended.

“What about like dating and stuff? There's no way you’ve never had a boyfriend” Z leaned back, resting her elbow on the back of the couch, holding her head up.

“I dated the same guy for all four years of high school and into uni” Zendaya’s eyes went wide “Yeah it was really good at first but around the end of my junior year it got ugly. But we’d been dating so long I was almost convinced that it was normal. Once I got into university it got really bad and that’s when I came to my senses” Emma spoke calmly. Something about Z made her easy to trust.

The rest of the night went by quickly. They talked, ordered food, and watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine for the rest of the night.

The next two weeks on set went by pretty much the same. When Emma wasn’t doing post-scene interviews, she was in either Toms, Zs or Tony’s trailer. She had become pretty close with some more of the cast, particularly Jacob and Remy, definitely the most comfortable with Tony though.  She’d grown pretty close with Sam and Harry. Even becoming closer with Harrison. To the point were the two of them plus Sam watched the dark knight rises in Tom’s trailer after Emma had admitted to never having seen it. Even still, it was always fleeting gazes or staring way too long with both of them, neither approaching the other unless someone else was there, and still, they were all stutters and flushed cheeks.  

Emma had not had a good morning so far. It was Michael’s last day on set for a while so it was going to be only her now. Of course the first day without Michael and she woke up late and couldn’t get her coffee maker to work and found that the pants she’d planned on wearing, she hadn’t packed. Instead opting for a black skirt and a yellow top with the same pair of ankle boots as always, her hair pulled into a ponytail. Michael had gone in early so the drive to set was just Iris and Emma. It was slightly awkward, normally Michael would be the one to speak up and start conversations but without him there it was silent. The only good part of her morning so far, had been Iris offering to stop and get coffee when Emma told her of her morning so far.

Once she was out of the car, Emma started towards her and Michaels trailer, coffee in hand and her bag on her back. She felt her phone start to ring and pulled it out of the waistband of her skirt and with one hand, answered it holding it up to her ear

“Oh perfect you answered” Michael started, not even giving emma time to say hello “I have some stuff for you to listen to once you get here. I’d really like your input”

“Okay. Iris just dropped me off I’ll be there in like two minutes” Emma found herself walking in between the abundance of trailers.

“Great. You remember which one right?”

“Yes of course I do Michael, it’s been two weeks. I’ll be fine. Bye”

“Okay well just text if you get lost. Bye now”

Emma pushed her phone back into her waistband. She looked up, but not soon enough to avoid the chest she walked straight into, the other person also on their phone.

Harrison

Emma stumbled back, dropping her pretty much full coffee on the ground. Harrisons hands immediately went to her waist to stabilize her, feeling her stiffen underneath his touch.

“Sorry about that, I should’ve been paying more attention” Emma looked up at Harrison. He was easily six inches taller than her. Everything she’d worried about during the very first interview had come true. She wasn’t able to look away now. She noticed the smallest details about him that she hadn’t before. Like the way his eyes got more green towards the outside, or the light stubble along his jaw, or how his cheeks seemed slightly more pink than normal.

“It’s alright darling, just watch out next time, yeah?” Harrison gave a small smile and Emma nodded. They were both lost in each other for a few moments. As if they were trying to memorize every detail of the other. Like the faint freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks.

Darling? It had rolled so easily off his lips, he hadn’t even noticed he said it.

It took a minute before Harrison realized how close they really were. He reluctantly pulled his hands away from her waist. As he did Emma broke their eye contact and took a step back, bending down to pick up the fallen cup.

“Ill uh.. I’ll buy you a new one” Harrison spoke, Emma looked up at him as she stood.

“No no you don’t have to really” She shook her head “It’s just a coffee. It’s not a big deal” They stood there for a moment, neither speaking, Harrisons hands in his pockets as Emma’s fiddled with the now empty cup “I should uh” Emma wet her lips quickly “I should get going” she barely looked up as the both nodded and she walked towards the trailer.

Once she was inside she threw out the cup and grabbed a paper towel to wipe off the  drops of coffee that had bounced up onto her legs. She placed her stuff on her desk and dragged her chair over to Michaels desk.

“You wanted me to listen to something?” she said as she sat down

“Yeah yeah give me one second” he said placing a few final notes in the composition program before hitting play on the theme he had written so far for the movie. After about four minutes, what he has so far ends. He looks towards Emma with a questioning glance “So?

“I uh It’s amazing obviously but.. I think it should have less to do with that triumphant superhero stuff you’ve got going on and more towards Peters loyalty and concern for his friends. I definitely wouldn’t scrap this though, maybe just not for the scene you’ve got it for” Michael nods as Emma speaks. Adding little “hm”s and “okay”s here and there.

“How about this. I want you to write it for this scene” Emma’s eyes widen in shock.

“Waitwaitwait you- I- you want me to write part of the score?” Emma barely stutters out

“Well yeah. Your name doesn’t get put in the credits unless you actually write something because technically you work for me not marvel and I want you name in there as badly as you probably do. So if you write something, you get credit.” Michael looks over at Emma, her jaw dropped. “I’ll take that as yes but Emma you’re going to catch flies. I have a meeting to go to now but you know what to do” Michael grabbed his bag and left.

Heres some writers that let me tag them :)

@cherryhollands @darlintom @starksparker @starksmile @hollandroos @marvelellie @dej-okay @h-osterfield @upsidedownparker

Taglist: @rainbow-marvel (thanks :))

[melonoverlord]

Turt’s ask meme for cecily (aka the better sibling)

1. What would be their favorite Disney (or other animated) movie?

Cecily has never seen a movie, but when she and the other first years binge watch Disney movies, she gets really into Peter Pan. Peter reminds her of herself and she gets that cartoon crush that we all got no matter our sexuality. She also likes Peter Pan because the song Second Star to the Right is one of the most beautiful songs she’s heard.

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Eggs and spicy sausage. She likes the full Turkish breakfast experience, and is glad that at Isladine she can still have a little piece of home. Though she has come to appreciate Eggo waffles.

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

Cecily’s almost as touch averse as Micah is in the sense that she won’t cuddle up to you unless you’re super close to her (which is why she’ll cuddle Micah), but she’s the type of person just to throw herself over you and rest her chin on the top of your head if you’re sitting down.

4. How do they say “I love you”?

Ce doesn’t like saying “I love you” if she can help it because that ruins her cool facade, but one ways she portrays it to Micah is helping him whenever he’s overwhelmed by sitting and singing with him to drown out outside noise, or doodling with him. Her version of saying “I love you” is learning about what makes you comfortable or calm down and trying to implement those when she sees that you’er struggling.

5. What kind of shoes do they wear?

She usually went barefoot when she lived with her clan, but otherwise she likes wearing either brown flats or gladiator style sandals. She hates closed toed shoes with a passion and if there is an opportunity to take her shoes off, she absolutely will.

6. What is their favorite accessory?

She has pink flower earrings she wears nearly every day and doesn’t feel her outfit is complete without them. She even sleeps with them in.

7. Are they more inclined towards fashion or comfort?

She always manages to find that middle line between fashion and comfort because she doesn’t want to be uncomfortable the entire day, but an outfit is not an outfit unless it is fashionable. If she had to lean towards one, though, it would be fashion. She will not allow herself to be frumpy.

8. What makes them laugh?

When Micah throws people off by being blunt as fuck, anything wild that Nat or Nadi do (especially when it involves flustering her brother), and whenever she can humiliate Reggie. Both she and Micah have a beautiful laugh.

9. Do they have a favorite flower?

Local yellow princess loves sunflowers.

10. Would they be the one to propose to their significant other?

Absolutely. She is always the one to make the first move in a relationship since she thinks that she missed out on having connections that weren’t people you knew since the womb.

11. What bad habits do they have?

Talking back to adults, sitting on top of things that shouldn’t be sat on (like the Headmistress’s desk), and egging people on.

12. What are their biggest insecurities?

Cecily is one of the rare cases of a character having high self esteem, and mixed with being a ten year old who thrives off humiliating her older brother, Cecily actually doesn’t have any insecurities... yet.

13. How do they wear their hair?

Mostly in pigtails in various hair colors, though her hair style changes day to day. Sometimes she’ll put it down, which brings her hair almost down to her waist, and other times she’ll put it in milkmaid brains and give herself a little hair crown. Cecily is the queen of hair game.

14. Are they an impulse shopper? If so, what would they buy?

Oh definitely. She’s never gotten to go shopping before, so the first time she goes to the mall and is allowed to get anything, she comes back with bags that are heavier than her just because she wants everything.

15. When do they usually sleep?

Micah still makes her have a bedtime of 9pm, but she’ll stay up til about 10pm watching Disney movies with the other first years.

16.What makes them worry?

Whether she’ll have to follow her grandmother’s orders if Micah doesn’t adjust to school the way her family wants to, whether she’ll be forced to return to their clan and not be able to experience human life, and if Micah will really fit in here.

17. Do they have any creative outlets?

She likes designing clothes, which is how she was the most fashionable five through nine year old in her clan. She designed her own clothes, then got her mother or grandmother to go get cloth to make them. Now that she can actually have access to a sewing kit, she likes making clothes for her squad (which consists of some first year followers and the poor saps who chose to befriend Micah).

18. How do they comfort an upset loved one?

She’s had to do it a lot with Micah, but usually since she pays attention to what makes her loved ones happy or feel safe, she’ll go sit next to them and try to take their mind off what’s bothering them or make them forget their worries.

19. What are they like when they’re sick?

She and Micah actually switch places when sick. When she’s sick, she becomes a blunt asshole who gets straight to the point because she just wants to get better.

20. Do they say what they’re thinking, or keep their thoughts to themselves?

She usually says what she’s thinking, she’s just more crafty about it than Micah is. She likes to form her words to fit whatever the person she’s talking to wants to hear so she can get on their good side.

21. What is the best gift they’ve ever received?

A chance to lead a normal life at Isladine.

22. Are they good at keeping track of time?

Absolutely not. Micah always has to act as her alarm clock. If she were left on her own, she’d be missing for two days and think she was only gone for like eight hours at most.

23. What is their favorite ice cream flavor?

Mocha Almond Fudge

24. What would they order from a fast food/take-out place?

Mushroom chicken, orange chicken, an ungodly amount of potstickers, and pineapple fried rice.

25. What is their favorite pizza topping(s)?

She finds that she really like BBQ Chicken pizza, so she’ll put chicken, basil, cilantro, and red onion.

26. What is their favorite type of cookie?

Double chocolate with peppermint bark.

27. Do they paint their nails?

It was one of the things they were able to smuggle into the clan, so she and Micah like panting their nails a bunch of different colors. She usually likes yellow and pink.

28. What is their favorite board game?

Never play Monopoly against her. You will lose all your money in a span of four turns. She has really good luck buying houses and hotels and rolls well enough to always skip the fees.

29. Are they more of a pants or skirts kind of person?

She loves wearing both, but usually opts for skirts. Especially the flow-y kind.

30. Do they dream often? What about?

Sometimes she’ll dream of women on horses with swords, which invigorates her even though she has no idea what they mean, other times she’ll have more worried dreams about actually having to carry out what her grandfather told her if Micah doesn’t adjust well to Isladine. On really bad nights, she’ll just dream that she’s standing in a field while a thunderstorm rages all around.

31. Do they have any phobias?

Dogs and thunderstorms. Both are a big no no and if she got in the presence of either, she would start crying on the spot.

32. If they were a pokemon, which would they be?

Slyveon, beautiful and powerful fairy child who’s beloved by everyone.

33. How well do they handle sea travel? Air travel?

She’s fine with both until there’s a storm involved. She hates thunderstorms and lightning more than anything so if there’s a chance of showers, she will stay on the comfort of land, thank you very much.

34. Which Disney character are they most like?

Gogo Tomago from Big Hero 6. Smart, sarcastic, and better than the main character. She’s also a bubblegum babe like Gogo is. 

35. What sort of parent would they be?

She’s the fun parent 100% of the way that lets her kids get away with whatever as long as they’re being for the most part safe. Bed time is never.

[huaxiangs]

Interview Question Galore: ★ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.

TAGGED BY: i stole it from @hcliosed​  bc it looked fun   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TAGGING: UHHHH @hypemanminami​ @lebenfxrseis​ @phaelautia​ (dont feel obligated to do it tho lol) and anyone else who wants to do this!

1. What is your name? “ji guanghong.”

2. What is your real name? "that... is my real name.”

3. Do you know why you’re called that? "my grandparents helped my parents choose it. my dad got his name from a fortuneteller, but he wanted me to... have a more personal name i guess? he didn’t want to just leave it up to a fortuneteller. so he left it up to my grandparents instead. (laughs)”

4. Are you single or taken? “single.”

5. What are your powers and abilities? “um, doing a quad toe loop? oh, and i’m pretty good at handling spicy food, if that counts.”

6. What color are your eyes? "brown... mostly. some kind of weird, purple-ish brown.”

7. Have you ever dyed your hair? “i got highlights once when i was younger. it, uh, looked pretty horrible. but i felt really cool at the time.”

8. Do you have any family members? "lots! i’m an only child, but i have a lot of relatives, many of which i’m in contact with-- through the insistence of my parents. i mostly just see them during big festivals though, since they live in my hometown. here in beijing i have my aunt, uncle and cousin.”

9. Do you have any pets? "no-- i think it’d be a bit difficult to care for one since i’m pretty busy. my parents have an old shih tzu though! i always make sure to cuddle her lots when i visit them.”

10. Tell me something you don’t like. “mm... hotpot?”

11. Do you have any hobbies or activities you do in your spare time? “i like watching movies. and if my internet connection is good enough i’ll stream some together with my friends. other than that, i like going for a jog, or a bike ride.”

12. Have you ever hurt anyone before? “i accidentally elbowed my cousin once... but in my defense he startled me! i swear it wasn’t intentional.”

13. Have you…ever killed anyone? “...no????”

14. What kind of animal are you? “like my zodiac sign? tiger.”

15. Name your worst habits. "...overthinking, probably. and sometimes i forget to answer people’s messages, even when they’re kind of urgent. it really annoys my friends, eheh...”

16. Do you look up to anyone? “i look up to lots of people-- like, pretty much every figure skater. viktor nikiforov, christophe giacometti... and leo of course, i admire how he choreographs his own programs-- oh, and phichit! he looks so confident on the ice, and in general too, really. oh and also--”

17. Gay, straight, bisexual? “...straight.”

18. Do you go to school? "i take online classes.” 

19. Do you ever want to marry and have kids someday? "someday, yes, but i’m not in a rush. i haven’t really thought about anything specific yet but-- i feel like that’s how my life will be one day. and i’d be very happy with that.”

20. Do you have any fans? "amazingly enough, i do! they’re really kind to me, they give me lots of teddy bears at competitions.”

21. What are you afraid of? “disappointing people.”

22. What do you usually wear? “usually something that’s easy to move around in... sadly, it doesn’t always look very fashionable. but in the off season i like to focus more on fashion! i usually try to follow western trends-- i think they look really cool. like sophisticated coats, ripped jeans, high waisted pants...”

23. Do you love someone? “my friends and family.”

24. What class are you? “like... my grade...? i’m about to enter college.”

25. How many friends do you have? "i don’t have a specific number or anything, but i have enough friends to be happy.”

26. What are your thoughts on pie? “i haven’t really eaten a lot of pie? they’re okay, i guess.”

27. Favorite drink "any kind of tea.”

29. What is your favorite place? “i don’t think i have one solid answer to that, it kind of depends on my mood. sometimes i just want to stay in bed, other times i want to be on the ice. oh, there’s this really nice restaurant in my hometown though, where they have the best tang yuan-- i guess that could count as one of my favorite places too?

30. Are you interested in someone? “um, like romantically? no.”

31. What’s your dick size? “!?”

32. Would you rather swim in the lake or ocean? "i actually can’t swim. swimming in the ocean seems nicer, but i don’t want to get knocked over by the waves, so maybe a lake would be better?”

33. What’s your ‘type’? "i... don’t think i have one. i’ve never really been in love, so it’s hard to say what i prefer and what i don’t like. as long as they make me happy, then i’m not very picky. ah, that probably sounds pretty cliche.”

34. Any fetishes? "n-no. no thank you.”

35. Top or bottom? Dominant or submissive? "...”

36. Camping, or indoors? “i’ve never gone camping before, so i’d like to try that someday!”

37. Are you waiting for this interview to be over? "um... i mean, i should probably get back to practice, so--”

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 34

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                        A/N: We’re so sorry for the insane delay. Deadlines and back to school for Ford’s kids is to blame. As soon as this posted, she’s diving back into edits, but she hopes you’ll enjoy the newest chapter. Don’t worry we’ve got plenty more to share with you guys and there’s no hiatus coming.

                                            Mo Astor Chapter 34

Lee

“Do you think she realizes this is slave labor?” I ask rotating my wrist as I seal up yet another bag.

“I think she’d counter by calling this family participation. You know the club has to keep up appearances and remind this town how much they need us,” Journee says in an eerie imitation of the reigning queen.

I giggle and shake my head. We’ve been holed up in the living room making toiletry pack after toiletry pack to donate to the church who was running low. They all like to talk about us behind our backs, but when they need something, they have no problem holding their hands out. It’s a delicate balance Gemma never lets them forget about. Without us, this town would have bankrupted a million times over when the hard times hit.

We also keep the small town, small, keeping away big business, unsavories, hardcore drugs, and anything else we deem harmful. That’s real power to create change and community. People miss that when they can’t get past the cuts, bikes, and rap sheets. Working with Charming’s wealthy, I’ve learned just how ruthless, cold, and uncaring they can be. There’s no loyalty. If they catch the faintest whiff of a scandal, they’ll cut and run, turn their backs and shun you.  Yet they think we’re the uncouth monsters.

“What’s sad is I prefer this to being at home.”

“Too quiet isn’t it?” Journee says.

I sigh. “Yes. It's funny what you get used to.”

“I know what you mean. There are no video games coming from any of the rooms and dinner is much smaller than I’ve become accustomed to cooking.”

“Look at Wifey missing her family,” I say with a light laugh.

“Please. Like Ms. We aren’t technically living together isn’t doing the same.”

I smile. “Technicalities are an important thing.”

“Screw your technicalities. He and the majority of his things are in your house. He never sleeps over at the clubhouse, and everyone’s started swinging by your house to find him. Would it be so bad to make things more official?”

“I don’t know.” I sigh and try to explain the overgrown jungle that is my brain. “Maybe I'm afraid I’ll jinx it. We’re doing so good, and with me, nothing great lasts.”

“You can’t think like that, Lee.”

“It’s hard not to. Nothing has ever mattered this much before.”

“That’s exactly why you need to be all in. I know you. You’ve always held part of yourself back.”

“Because if I give it all away, there’ll be nothing left. We’ve seen it time and time again.” I shake my head thinking about the soulless eyed old ladies and broken-hearted Crow chasers who’ve been in and out of the clubhouse over the years.

“You think Jax would ever do that to you?”

“No. Not on purpose.”

“Not ever. He’s no saint. He’ll fuck up eventually, but he’ll do whatever it takes to make it right, and he’ll never stray so far you can’t get over it. You two know each other well enough by now to know where the boundary lines lay.”

“I know you’re right, but the thought of it going wrong makes me sick to my stomach.”

“That’s called love, babe. Real honest to goodness, soul bonded. What we’ve had before was child’s play. We had watered down and in some cases warped and twisted versions of this. It’s why it feels so good, and yet horrifying at the same time.”

I turn to look at her. “You’re scared?”

“All the time. That I won’t be enough. That he’ll get bored, think he made a mistake tying himself down, or not come home. When what you have is worth losing, of course, you worry. It’s not the same as that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that tells you what you’re doing is wrong.”

“What do I do?” “Make the first move by dropping a hint. He won’t act otherwise. Not when he’s trying so hard to do it the way you need him to.”

“But how?” I whisper.

I shake my head.

“Jax Teller makes my damn head spin.” I take a shaky breath, and she laughs.

“It’s only fair. You’ve been doing the same to him for a long ass time. He was just too stubborn to admit to himself. Now he’s gung ho. A few pointed words and he’ll do all the work for you.”

“I can do dropped hints.”

“After dealing with Gemma, he should be a pro at interpreting them,” Journee mumbles.

The rumble of motorcycles coming makes my stomach flip.

“Speak of the devil,” I say.

We stand, pushing depleted pile of toothpaste, mouth wash, and other hygiene products aside. We exchange a glance before we stand.

“We have just enough time to slip into something more comfortable before they get home,” Journee says.

The giddy feeling that hits me, bubbles up and out my mouth in the form of a giggle. Suddenly were two school girls completely enamored with their men.

“So I’ll see you in a few days after you resurface then,” I say.

“Yes, ma’am.” We hurry out arm in arm. Mom won’t be made we left thing as is. Where the boys are concerned…she gets it.

Twenty minutes later, I’m wearing nothing but one of Jax’s t-shirts when the door opens. I lean against the wall and smirk.

“How’d you know I been dreaming bout this view?” he asks walking in with a brilliant white smile.

“Lucky guess,” I say as I crook my finger and back down the hall. He follows me, a jungle cat, stalking his prey. “I got something for you.” I tease.

“I bet you do.”

I laugh.  “It’s not that.”

I step into the bathroom, and he follows and freezes.  A bath filled to the brim with bubbles and the counters littered with lit candles set the mood. “I owe you for all the teasing we did.”

“Damn straight you do.” He darts forward lifting me off my feet as I squeal.

“I been hard since you sent those pictures. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I knew was under that soap.”

I smirk and run my hands through his damp hair.  He’s already showered. It’s his habit. But this is about comfort and reconnection. “That was the point.”

“You always were too smart for your own good.” He nips my bottom lip, and I cling to him, savoring the hard planes of his body and the scent of leather, man, and smoke. He traces the seam of my lips, and I part them , welcoming his tongue. I reacquaint myself with his taste, tilting my head to sample more as I rock my hips against the bulge in his pants. Suddenly the clothes between us are too much of a barrier.

I tug at his shirt, and we manage to undress each other between heated kisses. He steps into the tub holding out his hand for me. I follow, and we sink down into the heated, soapy water. He groans, resting against me.

“I know what you need,” I whisper as I settle my legs on either side of his body and begin a massage. Being on the road for long hours is harsh on the body no matter who you are. Muscles get stiff, and joints ache. I start at his shoulder blades, and work my way down, working out the knots as I turn him into putty.  

It’s intoxicating, feeling his mass relaxing against me. He’s a strong man capable of great destruction, and yet he yields to me. I kiss his neck as I continue to move lower. His groans have my nipples hard and my core achy. I reach around him to grasp his hard cock, and twist and stroke.

“Fuck, Lee.”

I nip at his neck as I find a steady rhythm. He thrusts up, and I move faster, leaving my mark as I bite down on his flesh and suck. It feels good to be the one in charge. HIs heavy breathing and moans have me on the edge of orgasm. Only he could do this to me. He grunts and his cock twitches. He’s close. A roar breaks free, reverberating through his entire body as he comes. I move my hand and make eye contact as I lick the milky drops from my hand.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he growls.

He wraps his arm around the back of my neck. “Now come here.”

I move from behind him, and he pulls me onto his lap facing him. The intensity of his gaze steals my breath. He’s still hard, and I whimper as he slides me over his length. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he holds his base as I lower myself down onto him. He grips my hips and drives up. I grasp his shoulders and lean back, holding onto his gaze.

“Always been you.” He hisses.

He’s a savage, unmerciful as he pumps inside me, filling me, driving me closer to the edge with each stroke that takes him deeper. I bury my nails in his flesh as the pressure builds. My body trembles and my heart threatens to leap from my chest. The tremors shake my tongue loose as I fly over the edge.

“I love you. Love you, love you.”

“Aaah fuck, Lee.” He explodes inside me, flooding me with his warmth as he buries his face in my neck. “Love you too. So fucking much.”

The words bring something to life inside me. This is like nothing I’ve experienced before. There’s no going back. My heart is no longer my own, and he knows it. His eyes are softer than I’ve ever seen them and in their depths, I swear I glimpse my future. I cup his face, unable to put into words the emotions swimming inside me. He nods his head as if he understands what I can’t say. I wrap my arms and legs around him, burrowing into his neck. This man has always been my safe place. My harbor, an unmovable anchor through every storm that’s blown through my life. I can do nothing other than trust that he’ll remain that center. This man who's never let me down.

“I want to take care of you Lee, but you have to let me. We’re done playing these games. I want to be home with my woman and later with my boy. It’s time we do this right. Ain’t no one else for either of us.” He snickers. “Hell, maybe Ma was right, and there never was. All I know is I’m not letting you go. You’re mine Harley, and this half-life we’re living, pretending it’s not that serious when it is, ain’t working for me.” He shakes his head. “I need you by my side where you belong. We keep going on like this, and I’m going to break some pretty boys neck for not knowing better.”

I snicker thinking of the time he scared the shit out of a client when he picked me up from a meeting, and the client got a little too close. Jax’s death glare had him high fiving me instead of our usual hug goodbye. Peter was harmless, not my type, and completely taken, but Jax didn’t know that.

“I think it’s time you put me out of misery darling.”

“When you’re delivering such a lucrative offer how can I say no?”

“You can’t obviously.”

“I don’t know. What am I getting out of this, Teller?

“A twenty-four hour all access pass to me.”

“Is that supposed to sell me?”

He flashes me an offended look, and I can’t stop my laughter.

“Mean.”  

My face and my belly hurt from laughing by the time I’ve settled down.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it.”

“I’m used to your abusive ways by now.” He sighs, and I shake my head. Why the hell did we wait so long to do this? It’s the best of both worlds. He’s my best friend and the man I love. What could be better than that?

[huhnerhexen]

1-50 :D

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted. What would you say?- oh shit, what the fuck we're both ace2. What's going on with the last person you kissed?- we're dating3. Would you care if your girlfriend did/does drugs?- it honestly depends on the scenario. Like medical marijuana is one thing and smoking crack is a whole other can of worms.4. Is your last name longer than 6 letters?- no, it's 5 letters long5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?- drunk6. Have you ever wanted someone but messed it up?- I mean I guess?? But it was before I was out of the closet and he was smol and innocent so idk if it counts??7. What does your last received text say?- yaaaaassss8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?- gee man, I don't know, I haven't really been keeping track9. Where was your last kiss at?- the house I was staying at in August with my girlfriend10. When is the last time you saw your sister?- I saw my biological sister on Monday, and my half sister a couple weekends ago.11. What do you drink in the morning?- coffee12. Where did you sleep last night?- in a big ass hotel bed13. Do you think relationships are hard?- I think relationships take work to build a strong foundation, but if it's worth it to you, it really doesn't feel hard. It's work you don't mind doing.14. If you could go back and change something in the past five months, would you?- yea, I'd go see IT (2017) even more.15. You're locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?- not really, no.16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?- I love the rain, but it always makes me cold straight to my core, so out of comfort for outdoor activities I'd say sunny. But if I'm spending the day inside, I'd prefer the rain.17. Do you know someone with the same middle name as you?- no, but hmu my middle name is Pearl.18. Are you wearing jeans, sweatpants, or pajama pants?- sporting those good ol' high waisted jeans.19. Do you think you'll be in a relationship in 3 years from now?- yea I think so, and I'd hope it would still be the one I'm in now.20. Does anyone like you?- romantically, yes. Otherwise probably not.21. Have you kissed anyone with a name that starts with S?- I've kissed someone who's last name starts with S, does that count?22. Is the last person you kissed gay?- hella23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?- Jennifer Lawrence, the bitch.24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?- I've got 3 so far, and there are many more I plan on getting.25. In the past week have you cried?- I mean I yawned so much my eyes were tearing up like a mf, but not like emotionally??26. What breed was the last dog you saw?- shit man, idk, but it had little orange booties on?27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?- in the shower, my bare ass isn't getting out into that freezing bathroom without drying off first. Then I can jump into my clothes asap.28. Have you ever kissed a football player?- real football or american football? Also no to both.29. Do you think you're old?- I don't think I'm old (I'm 19), but my body cracks and my knees give out so much that I physically feel old. 30. Do you like text messaging?- I love it31. What kind of day are you having?- an absolutely amazing day!!32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?- I got my nose pierced when I was 16, but I've been toying with the idea of getting my septum pierced for like a year. I just get scar tissue so easy and I don't want to have to deal with it inside my nose.33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?- I love warm fall days, but I also really like -45°C days so I guess both?34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?- yea, my dads35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?- a relationship, I don't have the emotional capacity to just have a fling with somebody.36. Are you a simple or a complicated person?- I'm a complicated person who pretends to be simple for the ease of others.37. What song are you listening to?- where is my mind cover by CALPURNIA38. When you say sorry do you mean it?- ok so I'm Canadian and I say sorry for everything. But if I'm apologizing I damn well mean it. If I sat sorry while walking down the street, or on the bus, I really mean "excuse me"39. Is there a girl who knows everything, or almost everything about you?- yea, I'm dating her.40. What made you start liking the person you like now?- ho boy, settle in. She's as warm as the sun and as beautiful as the stars, and I swear she knows everything, she's the smartest person alive. When she listens to you, she listens to listen, not to talk. She's the softest person in the world and when you're with her, it feels like you're home. When you're with her all you can feel is love.41. When did you last receive a text?- this morning.42. What is wrong with you right now?- I'm hungry.43. How well do you know the last person you texted?- pretty well I'd like to think44. Does anyone disgust you?- Jennifer Lawrence, the bitch. Also Trump45. Would you date anyone right now, if they asked you?- no, I'm already dating someone.46. Are you in a good mood right now?- no, I'm in a Great™ mood.47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?- Cory, one of the folks at the same training meeting as me.48. What colour shirt are you wearing?- it's a blue, red, yellow, green, orange, and gray shirt that's all tiny stripes.49. Has someone recently told you something you didn't want to hear?- yes, "the Gorilla Perfume Gallery only takes credit cards"50. Anyone you're giving up on?- not recently, but like a year ago I gave up on my childhood best friend because we grew apart so fast and our relationship became toxic.

[my-one-love-is-music]

Be My Player 2? Ch. 34

Also on AO3!

Keith ran his hands over the shirt and flannel he was wearing. He bit his lip, trying to keep his nerves under control. He ruffled his hair again, feeling it wasn’t going to look good no matter what he did.

“Keith?” Shiro asked, appearing behind him in the mirror. He smiled and wrapped his arms around his waist, perching his chin on his shoulder.

He sighed and leaned back into the touch.

“You have nothing to worry about. You know that, right?” Shiro asked with a small smile.

Keith met his eyes in the mirror. “But what if they don’t like me?”

Shiro grinned and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “I think you’re forgetting about the number of times we played Voltron together. And then there was the whole drunk job application party that we had over Skype.”

“Yeah, but that was all over the computer. What if they don’t like me?”

“They’ll love you. You really don’t have anything to worry about, Keith. It’s going to be fine. We’re going to have a great night and I really think you’ll like the pub we’re going to. It’s mine, Lance, and Allura’s favorite spot.”

Keith bit his lip and ducked his head.

“Come on,” Shiro said, trying to tug him away from the mirror. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“Okay,” Keith mumbled. He straightened in Shiro’s hold and took a deep breath. He met his own gaze in the mirror and narrowed his eyes, nodding once before he turned to face Shiro who was smiling at him.

“You’re not going into battle, don’t worry.” Shiro held out his hand and Keith linked their fingers together, shutting off the bathroom light.

Shiro tugged him down the hall and opened the front door for him. Keith paused at the edge of the front step as Shiro locked the door and took a deep breath, enjoying the lingering warmth in the air as the sun sank closer to the horizon.

Shiro placed a warm palm at his lower back and Keith opened his eyes, giving him a smile as they descended the two steps to the sidewalk and crossed the small yard to Shiro’s car in the drive.

Keith climbed into the passenger seat and sank into the broken-in leather. He wiped his warm palms on his pants. Shiro started the car and backed out of the drive, turning down the street.

Keith bit his lip and stared out the window at the other houses they passed, trying not to focus too much on the night that was to come.

He stiffened when warmth slipped across his palm. He glanced down and found Shiro’s hand gripping his. He looked up and found Shiro staring straight ahead, a smile pulling the corner of his lips up.

Keith smiled and slipped his fingers between Shiro’s, giving his hand a squeeze. He relaxed back in his seat, looking at the houses they passed with less anxiety and a greater sense of calm radiating from his heart.

~~

Keith wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting when Shiro told him they were going to a pub, but the small location with minimal parking had Shiro written all over it.

“What do you think?” Shiro asked, locking the car behind them as he took Keith’s hand in his.

“It’s nice. Very you, if I do say so myself.”

Shiro chuckled. “Just wait until you see the inside,” he said happily, tugging Keith towards the narrow wooden door.

A few people standing outside smoking cigarettes gave them curious looks, but Keith didn’t think too much of it. Not until they stepped inside and a few people glanced their way, pausing their conversations or games of pool, sizing him up and down.

Shiro didn’t notice, waving at the bar and a few people as he made his way to the back corner, keeping Keith’s hand locked with his all the while.

“Shiro! Keith! Finally!” Lance proclaimed, jumping up from his seat in the booth.

“We’re not that late,” Shiro huffed, guiding Keith towards the booth and keeping an arm around his waist.

Keith glanced at the other patrons as they slowly resumed their conversations and games, glad the attention was drifting away from them.

“You know,” Lance murmured rubbing his chin as he looked Keith up and down. “I thought you’d be taller.”

“Lance,” Allura huffed. She shoved him to the side and got to her feet, holding out her hand to Keith. “I’m so glad we’re finally getting to meet in person, Keith.”

Keith smiled. “Me too. Thanks, Allura.”

“Why don’t we sit down and figure out what to order, I’m starved,” Shiro said, nudging Keith into one side of the booth before sliding in after him.

“If you’re so hungry you should’ve gotten here sooner,” Lance said, swiping the menu Shiro was reaching for.

“Come on Lance,” Shiro huffed, swiping the next two and handing one to Keith. “I was just giving you extra time to decide since it always takes you forever to order.”

“Only because I want to be certain of my choice,” he protested.

“You order the same thing every time,” Allura sighed and shook her head.

“Well maybe I just want to be extra sure I’m not in the mood for anything else,” Lance shot back, lifting his menu up to his face.

Keith smiled and flipped through the short list of menu items. Even though it wasn’t extensive everything sounded delicious.

“Who’s going to order anyway?” Shiro murmured, flipping to the back with the drinks list.

Keith glanced up and saw Lance and Allura share a look.

“I think it should be you,” Lance said, pointing his finger at Shiro.

Shiro glanced up and blinked when he saw Lance looking at him expectantly. “Why me?”

“Because you got here late,” Allura offered. “It’s only polite.”

“Keith got here late, too,” he stammered.

Allura sighed and shook her head, disappointed. “That would be rude of us to make Keith order when he’s our guest. No, it should be you.”

Shiro pursed his lips. “Fine,” he grumbled. “What do you want?”

Allura smiled and pulled a pen from her purse. She swiped one of the napkins from the holder and scribbled down her order before passing it to Lance who did the same. He slid the napkin over to Keith, who took it and wrote down his food and drink order.

“Are you sure you’re okay taking care of this yourself?” Keith asked, handing the napkin to Shiro.

“Of course he is,” Allura said. “We trade off taking the order all the time. And he’ll really just have to bring the drinks back for us since they have someone take care of the food and bring that around to our table.”

“Uh, huh…” Keith said, glancing between her and Shiro.

“I won’t be long. They’re usually pretty quick about getting orders in,” Shiro said, pressing a kiss to the side of the Keith’s head before he stood from the booth and headed towards the bar.

Keith watched Allura wave her hands at the bartender and make a quick hand sign. The man with bright orange hair and a mustache nodded and scurried to the opposite end of the bar, engaging in conversation with a couple of the patrons as Shiro approached the counter.

“I’m guessing this is your cue to threaten my life if I do anything to hurt Shiro,” Keith said.

Lance grinned and placed his palms on the table. “You bet it-”

“No,” Allura interrupted. “We’re not going to have any shovel talks.”

“But why not?” Lance whined. “Shiro got one from Pidge’s friends. It’s our turn.”

Allura huffed and turned back to Keith. “We’re not going to give you a shovel talk. I just wanted to tell you that I’m really glad you and Shiro are together and managed to find each other. It was completely by chance you found each other that night when you were gaming and I know how much happiness you’ve brought to Shiro’s life since you came into it.”

“He’s made me happy, too,” Keith murmured, glancing at Shiro who was still trying to wave down the man at the bar who was going everywhere but to him.

“I really hope you can both be together like you deserve. Shiro’s been looking forward to Spring Break for so long because it meant you’d be reunited with each other,” Allura added.

“I’ve been looking forward to it, too,” Keith said, scratching the back of his neck as he felt his cheeks heat up. “After being here for a few days already, I really can’t imagine being anywhere Shiro isn’t.”

He glanced up and found Allura smiling at him.

“I was really hoping you’d say something like that, because I have an idea.”

“Woah, wait. What do you mean you have an idea?” Lance asked, turning towards his friend scandalized. “Why didn’t you tell me about this idea?”

“Because I don’t think you would’ve been able to keep this idea to yourself if I told you about it earlier and I really want to make this a surprise for Shiro,” Allura huffed.

“Okay, fine,” Lance admitted. “Just tell us before Shiro gets back.”

They all glanced over at the counter where the bartender was finally taking down Shiro’s food and drink order.

“Okay, okay,” she sighed. “I was thinking—since we’re all getting ready to graduate and we’re already looking for jobs—that it might be a good idea for you to apply for jobs here in Florida.”

Keith blinked at her. “You want me to apply for jobs here?”

Allura bit her lip to try and stop her grin and nodded. “I think it would be amazing if you got a job down here because then you could be near Shiro. I’m not saying that you have to move in with him or anything, but the two of you have been through so much and I’d love to see you be closer after the months you’ve spent apart.”

Keith opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words to put to his tumultuous feelings. The idea wasn’t bad. He wasn’t against it at all and actually really liked the idea of moving down to Florida and getting a job and being close to Shiro.

“I…I really like that idea actually. And I think a part of me may have already been considering it. Being with Shiro these past few days…it’s been like a dream come true and I really can’t imagine being anywhere else.”

Allura beamed. “I’m so happy to hear that. And you don’t have to worry about this getting out to him. We’ll make sure to keep it a secret. Even with Lance’s big mouth,” she said with a soft chuckle.

“Hey, don’t expect me to let the cat out of the bag on this one. I’m going to keep this completely under the radar. Just you wait and see,” Lance huffed.

Keith and Allura chuckled.

“Thanks,” Keith said, looking between them. “I really appreciate you getting behind this idea and supporting us so much.”

“Of course!” Allura scoffed. “The two of you are clearly happy together and I don’t want anything to come between you. Not figuratively or literally.”

She glanced to the side and cleared her throat, leaning back against the booth cushion. Keith frowned, following where her gaze had been to Shiro approaching their table with four glasses in his hands.

“Well that took a lot longer than I expected,” Shiro muttered, gently setting the glasses in the middle of the table. “Usually Coran isn’t so flustered when he’s taking orders and managing the other patrons.”

Allura shrugged and grabbed her beer. “Maybe he just got behind on things. It seems a little busier than normal in here.”

Shiro raised and eyebrow and looked around the pub at the small groups at the bar and around the pool table. “I think you might be imagining things Allura.”

“If you say so,” she said voice light.

“Anyway, what did I miss? What were you talking about while I was gone?”

“Nothing really,” Allura said.

“We were just giving your boyfriend the shovel talk,” Lance said into his glass.

Allura elbowed him in the side, pulling a hiss from his lips.

“They didn’t grill you too much, did they?” Shiro asked, wrapping an arm around Keith’s shoulders.

He smiled and shook his head, snuggling further into his side.

“Good,” Shiro said, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“You know what we haven’t done in a while?” Lance asked, perking up. “We haven’t played much Voltron lately because of school and applications and everything else. We should do a round or two sometime this week.”

“Why not tonight after dinner?” Allura asked. “We’ve got plenty of time. As long as Keith brought his computer.”

“Of course I did,” Keith scoffed.

“Sounds like a plan,” Shiro said.

~~

“Come on, come on, come on,” Keith chanted, frantically pressing the spacebar on his computer as he fought the enemy they were facing.

“That’s not going to kill them any faster, Keith,” Allura huffed, swooping in to take out a new line of fighters and clearing the path for Lance’s Lion to burst through and shoot a laser blast at the soldiers farther back in ranks.

“This battle hasn’t been easy,” Shiro said from the opposite end of the couch. “But I know we can win this. We just have to be smart and make sure they don’t get any other serious attacks in.”

“Easy for you to say,” Keith quipped. “Your Lion is practically a tank.”

“There’s a difference between being smart and having a strong Lion,” Shiro huffed. “I’m just not as reckless as you are.”

Lance snickered over their headsets.

“Can we focus, please?” Allura said, barrel rolling across the screen before she dived and swiped through several lines of soldiers. “I don’t doubt that I could take all of these fighters out myself, but it would be nice to have at least a little help.”

Keith gunned his thrusters and raced forward, shooting past Allura for an attack. He dove under and around three enemy planes, dragging his claws along the sides to break their engines open and leave them as exploding masses in the sky.

“We’re almost there,” Shiro said, leaning forward. “We just have to get past the remainder of the troops and get the egg.”

“No problem,” Lance and Keith said together.

There was silence across the line before Allura sighed.

“I’m getting that first,” Lance snapped, taking off across the battlefield.

“You wish,” Keith scoffed, racing after him. “We both know who’s more skilled in getting past ranks of soldiers.”

“Guys,” Shiro said. He looked up and glared at Keith, but he ignored his gaze, more concerned with beating Lance to the prize.

He dived around the laser blasts, grinning as he pulled ahead of Lance.

“Not so fast,” Lance huffed, pulling up underneath him.

Keith swerved, barely avoiding a collision. He focused his gaze ahead, only caring about the rapidly closing distance between them and the egg.

He sucked in a breath when he saw one of the fighter planes, aiming for Lance.

“Shit,” he hissed, jerking his Lion to the left. He slammed into Lance’s Lion, forcing him off course.

“What the hell, Keith?!” Lance shouted.

Keith tried to force his Lion upward, but the laser blast from the fighter hit his right flank and sent him veering off course.

“Damn it, Keith,” Shiro said, voice tight.

“I’m fine,” he huffed. “Just get the egg. I’ll regroup in a second. It’s not that bad.”

He glanced at his stats. He wasn’t doing great and another hit like that would take him to the ground. He wasn’t sure what would happen to him if he crashed. It had never happened before. He just hoped they made it out of this before that could happen.

As the ship that attacked him readied another strike, Allura’s laser slammed into it, sending it spiraling to the ground to take out rows of soldiers.

“That’s how you do it,” she huffed.

“Thanks,” Keith said with a chuckle.

Allura flanked his right and Shiro came up on his left. Lance was already several miles ahead and Keith was relieved to watch him sweep up the egg from where it was sitting.

“Thank god,” Keith muttered as the scene dissolved around them and they were taken to the main base.

Something brushed up against his leg and he looked up to find Shiro watching him with a raised eyebrow. Keith grinned and Shiro narrowed his eyes at him.

“Just how close were you to dying?” Shiro asked.

Lance and Allura fell silent.

“Uhhhhh,” Keith said.

“Well, this has been fun guys,” Shiro said. “But I need to punish my boyfriend for being an idiot.”

Lance made a noise in the back of his throat while Allura cackled before they both signed off.

Keith pulled his headphones from his head and set them on the coffee table with his laptop. He stared at Shiro for a moment before bolting from the couch.

Shiro was after him in seconds. “Keith!”

Keith ducked around the corner into the kitchen and shoved the glass doors open to jump out onto the patio, avoiding Shiro’s first grab for his shirt. He wasn’t really sure where he was planning to go or if he thought he was going to jump the fence, but he wasn’t ready for whatever retribution Shiro had to offer.

He made it down the steps and halfway across the yard before arms wrapped around his stomach and pulled him against a solid chest.

“Got you,” Shiro gasped, trying to catch his breath.

Keith squirmed in his grip fighting to get away. “Let me go.”

“Nope,” Shiro said, finally getting himself under control. “I worked hard to catch you and I’m never letting you go.”

Keith’s heart skipped, feeling like Shiro was talking about so much more than just their chase around the house.

If you enjoy my work, please reblog or consider buying me a ko-fi!