#i watched two hours of bonus features so you don’t have to

[brokenmenswhore]

Omg sooooo true about all the Jace fics being so soft!! But did you see that man this season! The sass, the angriness, the hatred for his enemies. He finally had a voice and it was so fucking hot!! Please give me more rough sex with Jace!! Bonus points for choking pretty please!!

don’t gotta ask me twice, this isn’t super long but i think you’ll still enjoy it ;) i also have another ask that just says more mean rough jace so here ya go

if you don’t leave soon | jacaerys velaryon

pairing: jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader

warnings: choking, smut (MDNI 18+), wax play

────── ☾ ──────

Jacaerys was always handsome to you, but lately, he was hot. Like really, really, hot.

When you were present at council meetings, you noticed that Jacaerys would actually speak up and make his voice heard. He was becoming more vocal toward his mother as well, and was truly asserting himself as heir to the throne. Ever since his business in Winterfell, he wore his hair down, his natural dark curls framing his exquisite bone structure perfectly.

He was always frustrated as of late, and the veins on the hand that rested on the hilt of his sword would tense and flex as he gripped it tighter and tighter. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away.

You couldn’t get him out of your head.

Even just being in the same room as him turned you on, your legs clenching together in your seat as your body instinctively turned toward him.

He was consuming your every thought, every move, and every dream. It became unbearable. Your desire for Jacaerys was controlling your entire life.

You needed air. You needed to spend the hours in the dead of night distracted, rather than in your chambers with your hand between your legs and Jacaerys on your mind.

You tied your robe closed around your nightdress, taking a deep breath as you snuck out of your chambers and headed toward the outdoor overlook, in desperate need of the nighttime air on your face to calm your desires down.

You slowly creaked open the door to the council room, intent on just passing through to arrive at your destination, when you saw Jacaerys seated at the council table.

He was slouched in his chair, an elbow resting on the table as leverage for him to rest his head in his palm. He was inspecting the table, deep in thought. So deep, in fact, that he didn’t even hear you come in.

You were a mere few feet behind him when you broke the silence. “Jace?”

Jace’s body jolted slightly when you spoke, violently snapping him out of his trance. “Hey.”

“Are you alright? It’s rather late,” you asked.

“Just thinking,” he answered, his eyes still transfixed to the table in front of him.

“I do not wish to disturb you,” you said, unsure of what else to say, but you didn’t make an effort to leave.

Jacaerys lifted his head and finally turned toward you. “You are not disturbing me.”

You gave him a small smile in response. The air was thick between you two, the silence awkward and deafening. The flames from the candles on the table flickered, illuminating his features as they danced. He looked so pretty. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t speak, and most importantly, you couldn’t look away.

You had to say something. You couldn’t just awkwardly stand somewhat behind him and stare at him forever, but you desperately didn’t want to leave. “Want some company?”

Jacaerys smiled at you. “Sure.”

You sat down in the chair closest to him. He was at the head of the table, and you were seated beside him, slightly around the bend. You were turned toward him, allowing you to watch him even more.

You sat in silence for several minutes. You were in awe of his beauty, his appearance in the late hour driving your hormones wild.

Jacaerys finally spoke first. “I secured a partnership in the Riverlands today.”

It was not at all what you expected him to say, but you were happy that he was finally speaking to you. “On your own?”

“Mhm,” he responded, toying with one of the model towers on the table, “I didn’t alert my mother I was leaving. I just went and did it.”

“She must have been very pleased with your initiative,” you told him.

“And yet she still refuses to utilize my talents,” he sighed, knocking over the piece he was toying with, his voice slightly raising at the end of his sentence as his frustrations made themselves known.

You looked to the piece rolling around the table, and then to him. “I’m sure she only wants to keep you safe.”

Jacaerys threw his head back, leaning on the chair and letting out a frustrated sigh. “She needs me if she wants to win this war.”

“I agree,” you said, the words coming out before you could think them through.

Jacaerys tilted his head down just enough to see you. “You do?”

You adjusted your robe in your lap. “Of course.”

Jace stayed looking at you for what felt like forever. “What are you doing up at this hour?” he asked you.

“I could not sleep,” you admitted, and it was the truth.

“Neither could I,” he reciprocated, “I have not been sleeping much as of late.”

“If you need to speak of what troubles you, I believe myself to be a rather good listener.”

You exchanged yet another look in a moment of silence before Jacaerys sighed, asking, “Do you think me capable of ruling?”

The question caught you off guard. “What?”

“As it is now, do you think I could rule?”

You swallowed nervously. You didn’t understand why he was asking you, and you were worried that you would give him the wrong answer. You figured the truth was always best. “I think we are much too young to assume such positions, but if you continue to grow the way you have as of late, I think you will make a wonderful ruler.”

Jacaerys leaned forward and placed a hand on your knee. You flinched in surprise, and your breathing caught in the back of your throat.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Of course, Jacaerys. You know I’ll always stand behind you.”

Jacaerys looked at you through hooded eyes. The moonlight was streaking into the room, and the only sound was the flickering of the candle wicks.

You did not expect him to speak, and if he did, you expected it to be about more insecurities regarding his position as the queen’s son. What he said was the very last thing you expected, but along the lines of the very first thing you often dreamed of.

“I’m quite pleased to have you in front of me.”

You blinked, expecting yourself to snap out of this dream and see where you truly were soon, but nothing changed. He was in front of you, and this was reality. You shuddered as Jacaerys began to rub your leg with his thumb.

“I-“

Words completely escaped you.

“May I be candid with you?” he asked, his voice gentle.

“Of course,” you said, your voice shaky.

“If you don’t leave soon, I won’t be able to stop myself from fucking you.”

You inhaled a sharp gasp. You didn’t intend to make noise, but you couldn’t help yourself. Your cheeks flushed as you stared into his eyes, searching for any sense that this was a joke or a test, but to no avail.

“W-what?”

“You have to leave, or I’m going to fuck you.”

“Jace-“ your voice trailed off.

“Get up.”

You stood immediately, your chair shifting slightly backward from the urgency of the move, your body responding to his demands as if it was second nature. He followed suit, stepping toward you so that your bodies were touching as he gazed down at you, his body looming over you.

He pushed your hair behind your shoulder, his fingers grazing against the nape of your neck as they moved to the back of your head. He gripped your hair and yanked your head backward.

“I don’t think I can control myself anymore,” he nearly whispered, dipping his head into the crook of your neck.

He fought with all of his self-control not to touch you, nervous he would overstep if you didn’t consent. He simply inhaled your scent, watching you swallow in anticipation and nervousness.

“Tell me to stop,” he said.

Your lips parted, but no words came out.

“Tell me to stop, Y/N,” he repeated.

You took a deep breath, Jacaerys placing a soft kiss on the side of your neck.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

Jace lifted his head to meet your gaze. “I don’t have the self control to be nice to you right now. I’m too frustrated.”

Your confidence grew as he spoke. The assurance that he wanted you too made you realize that this was now or never, and you were way too horny to get in your own way.

“So don’t be nice to me.”

Jacaerys yanked your hair backward even more, exposing more of your neck to him. He took a deep breath, connecting his lips to your neck again. He sucked the spot he landed on, his unoccupied hand pulling your waist against his hips.

He then bit down on the skin of your neck, pulling lightly with his teeth. You whined at the feeling, and you could suddenly feel his clothed cock throb against your thigh.

Jace’s hands traveled down your body until they reached the back of your thighs. He pushed and prompted you to jump, your legs wrapping around his waist. You instinctively placed your arms around his neck for balance.

He spun you around, dropping you gently onto the table.

“Kiss me,” he instructed.

Your fingers tangled in the hair on the back of his neck as you looked at him. This was all you’d been waiting for.

You pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips in a desperate kiss. His lips moved in sync with yours, his hands grabbing at your waist. He pulled you closer to the edge of the table, so that his hips could rub against yours. He grinded against you as the kiss heated up, your mutual eagerness coming to light.

You tested the waters, catching his bottom lip between your teeth and tugging slightly, disconnecting the kiss as you watched his face to garner his reaction.

He growled and pressed his lips to yours again, kissing you even harder as he vigorously untied your robe, bunching up the bottom of your nightdress and pushing it up your thighs.

His lips trailed down your jawline to your neck, sucking the slightly bruised spot from before as he pulled your small clothes down your legs enough to allow him access to your core. He immediately began to rub you, running a finger between your folds and circling around your bud.

You threw your head back, which only made Jacaerys suck harder on your neck.

He pulled away, leaning over you and using an arm to swipe away everything on the table directly behind you.

“Lay down,” he demanded.

You shifted your body until you were laying on the council table, your legs dangling off the edge as your current location dawned on you.

“Jace, what if someone walks in?” you asked, trying much too hard to sound coherent.

“Stay quiet and they won’t,” he replied, nearly a threat, untying his breeches and grabbing the seam of his small clothes, pulling both down to free himself.

“But-“

“Sh,” he said, kneeling down on the floor in front of you.

You were staring at the ceiling, completely at Jace’s mercy, and you loved it. You couldn’t see what he was doing, you could only feel him prop your legs up onto his shoulders.

Without warning, he licked from your hole to your bud, collecting the wetness as he pressed his mouth onto you, licking and sucking at your cunt. Your back arched off of the table, a low whine leaving your lips.

You peered down at him, and he was already looking up at you. One of his arms was shaking slightly, disappearing underneath the table, while his other arm held onto your hips. He was touching himself.

Even though it was happening right in front you, just the thought of Jace touching himself as he watched you react to him tasting you was too much for you. He looked so fucking pretty between your legs, his nose buried in your cunt, and his hair soft against your inner thighs.

Your hand moved down to hold onto the back of his head, lightly pulling at his hair to keep his tongue in a steady rhythm. It made Jacaerys moan into your core, and the feeling sent a shiver up your spine, causing your hole to convulse around nothing.

You continued to release soft, high-pitched moans as his tongue moved faster and faster. Your back arched again, and Jacaerys pressed his forearm into your lower stomach, forcing you to stay still against the table, but the stimulation was too overwhelming.

“Jace, I can’t-“ you tried to bargain, but it only made him stop. He stood up and towered over you.

“Can’t what, hm?” he taunted you.

He had you wrapped around his finger. You swallowed in anticipation, and Jacaerys watched the way your throat tensed from the nervousness.

He couldn’t help himself. He brought a hand up to your throat, running his pointer finger along the center before grabbing it, holding slight pressure on either side.

He gazed down at you in amusement, his cock throbbing against his stomach at the sight of you, laying down ready for him, with his hand around your throat.

Jace leaned down as far as he could toward your ear. “You gonna be good?” he whispered.

You nodded your head up and down, but that’s not what he wanted.

He squeezed your throat even tighter, your breathing now slightly obstructed. “It would be rude not to answer your future king when he asks you a question.”

You nearly gasped, “I’ll be good,” the words strained and nearly a whisper from the pressure on your throat.

Jacaerys stayed close to you, holding your neck down against the table as he lined himself up with your entrance, watching your face contort as he slowly pushed into you. Your head tried to turn away from his gaze, but you couldn’t move.

Watching you struggle, unable to do much due to his hand around your throat, amused Jacaerys. He peppered kisses along your jawline as he began to move in and out, not giving you much time to adjust to his size.

You whimpered nonstop as he fucked you, only keeping a tame pace for a few thrusts before he began to ruthlessly snap his hips. You cried out when he picked up the pace.

“I warned you I wouldn’t be nice,” he said.

You tried to respond, but the pressure against your vocal chords had you coughing instead. Your walls squeezed Jace’s cock, any reminder of his hand around your throat instantly heightening your arousal.

“Aweh,” Jace cooed, “you like it when I choke you, hm?”

“Y-yes,” you struggled out, using all your power to speak the word.

Jacaerys growled, standing tall, but never removing his hand from your throat. His unoccupied hand gripped your waist, keeping you close to him as he slammed into you.

He let his pent up anger take over his actions, watching you writhe and grab at nothing as he fucked you and, subsequently, knocking anything and everything off the table.

You knocked over one of the candles closest to you, and the wax ran for a moment, the hot liquid hitting your upper arm. You gasped at the sudden sting of pain, and Jacaerys noticed it wasn’t just a normal moan.

He scanned your body and caught the wax hitting you.

“Did that hurt?” he asked.

You wrapped your hand around his wrist, hoping he would let up on your throat and allow you to speak easier, but he wasn’t budging. “Only a little.”

Jacaerys removed his hand from your throat and watched as you gasped for air, coughing for a moment before you finally caught your breath.

He lifted one of the still-lit candles over your breasts, slowly tilting it further and further to the side until wax dripped directly onto the flesh of your breasts. You hissed at the pain, but it cooled the moment a drop hit your skin. He moved the candle back and forth, covering your cleavage in the wax.

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, placing the candle back down and wiping away the cooled wax with his finger. There were red marks all along your upper breasts from the heat.

“Christ, Y/N,” he moaned. His cock was still inside of you.

You became self conscious, thinking you did something wrong. “I’m sorry,” you said, hoping he would apply it to whatever you did wrong.

“For what?”

“I don’t know.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he assured you, running his hand over your breasts, tracing your collarbone, and gripping your throat again, “except for plaguing every single dream I’ve had for weeks.”

He was dreaming of you?

He started to move again, immediately resuming his brutal pace. His hips knocked against yours with every thrust, and the tip of his cock hit the sweet spot inside of you.

“Jace- I-“

He could feel you beginning to squeeze him, your breathing quickening and your moans falling freely.

“Come for me, Y/N. You’re mine.”

You’re mine. That was all it took.

Your body jolted with release, cries of his name attempting to escape your throat but getting caught by the pressure from Jacaerys’s hand, which was now pressing even harder as you came, enhancing the pleasure of your climax.

“Fuck,” he cursed, feeling you squeeze him and further lubricate his cock, “you feel so fucking good.”

You were overstimulated, your body attempting to come down from one high while simultaneously chasing another as Jace continued to piston his cock in and out of you.

As dominant as he was being, you felt like you should do something to help him come, so you swallowed your pride and embarrassment and whispered in his ear, “Come in me, Jace, I wanna feel it inside of me.”

Jacaerys dropped his head into the crook of your neck, his eyes blown out with lust. He groaned at your words.

“Please, Your Grace.”

No one had ever called Jacaerys such a high-ranking title before. It was destined to be his, as he was the heir to the true queen, but it had never been spoken out loud. It added to his dominance, reminding him that he was in control over you.

He came on the spot.

His hips snapped harshly against yours a final few times as he spilled his seed deep within you. Your legs were shaking as he pressed his forehead to yours, catching his breath as he pulled out of you.

He stayed bent over for a while, enjoying being close to you.

“You alright?” he checked, disconnecting his hand from your neck.

“Mhm,” you hummed in response.

“You can breathe alright?” he continued.

“I can breathe just fine,” you assured him.

Jacaerys sighed and smiled at you. “Then I guess I didn’t do a good enough job.”

You blushed at his words, which only made his smile widen further. You covered your face with your hands, but Jacaerys grabbed your wrists, moving them away and kissing your knuckles.

He stood and clothed himself, holding out a hand for you to take as you jumped off of the table. You nearly collapsed, but Jacaerys wrapped an arm around your waist.

“What are you doing to me?” he asked genuinely.

“I could ask you the same question,” you replied, leaning upward to place a kiss on his cheek.

[orionremastered]

Heyyy!

I just wanted to put in a request for part 2 of your Damian x surgical intern reader? (If that’s not too much to ask - I loved it so much!!)

~🌼

PLEASE SEND ME MORE ASKS THEY MAKE ME HAPPY

Masterlist

Surgeon!Damian Wayne x Surgical Resident!reader

Part One, Part Two

You were, decidedly, over it. After a ten hour long heart transplant- unusually long- you could feel your every breath, every blink, and every move you made was slow and manual. Dr. Wayne- no, Damian- was more exhausted than you could imagine.

When he stumbles, you grab his shoulders quickly to stop him falling. It takes him a second to stand upright again and thank you with a set of lethargic nods.

“You don’t look like you can drive home,” you tell him as you follow him out the OR, close behind in the event that he stumbles again.

“I’m fine,” he grumbles, and you can only sigh at the stubborn man’s words.

“At least let me drive you home so you don’t cause an accident,” you insist, moving in front of him to ‘block’ his path.

Narrowed eyes and a grunt are all that follow for a few seconds after, regarding you with tired confusion. Did he seriously expect you to just let him drive home and cause an accident? To end up like the heart donor who was driving too fast and couldn’t be saved?

“Alright, fine.” He gives in, letting you lead him to the car park begrudgingly.

He unlocks his car, an expensive car by the looks of it, though you don’t know what kind- and gets into the passenger seat as you get behind the wheel.

“Wait.” his words are drawls now. “What about your-”

“I take the metro,” you reply, starting the car and driving out into the dark streets of Gotham.

Damian frowns, but in a few seconds, his head rests against the window and his eyes are closed, face relaxed for the first time that day.

It puts a soft smile onto your face when you see it, but then you realized you don’t know where he lives. And you can’t bring yourself to wake him up and ask.

You arrive at your building, gently coaxing Damian’s half-awake self, barely coherent when he mumbles something about his head. It’s certainly a challenge to get the man up the stairs since the elevator’s out of service as someone was murdered inside, but once you get him inside your (in all honesty, not even average sized) apartment, you have an odd choice to make.

He won’t fit on the couch- you have to crane your neck up to look at him, for crying out loud- but it’s awkward having a stranger in your bed, no?

Give the man a break, your mind chides. He’s worked too hard to be squished on the cheapest couch you could find.

Giving in, you let him drape across your bed, covering him with the blanket after taking off his shoes. You eat a pre-prepared meal, have a long and hot shower before finally being able to fall asleep.

You’re trying to get a blanket from the top of the closet, standing on your tiptoes as you attempt to wrestle the darn thing out when Damian drowsily speaks up from behind you.

“What’s the fuss? Just sleep here,” and now you’re uncertain if you’ve really got the world’s scariest attending surgeon in you apartment or not.

“No-no, it’s okay, just go back to sleep, you must be exhausted,” you reply, returning to the blanket that refuses to cooperate.

Damian huffs, and that was the end of that.

Until he gets up and drags you into your bed, arms wrapped tightly around you waist as he settles once more.

“You shouldn’t sleep on the couch,” he murmurs into your shoulder, lips brushing your skin gently when he talks. “It’ll hurt your neck.”

Damian had a point, but this wasn’t an option you were going to consider, but now that it was happening, you weren’t exactly opposed to it. It’s been a while since you’d been held like this, and it was... nice. Nice enough to make you drift off into sleep.

BONUS

You’d never know that at four in the morning, Damian awoke. Still tired, admittedly, but instantly aware of you in his arms.

A smile crossed is face as he watched you sleep, admiring your features as well as he could in the dark; your lashes, hair, nose, and (most importantly) your lips.

He admired them as long as he could before his eyes grew too heavy and he fell asleep for much needed rest.

[bullet-prooflove]

Wherever You Go: Terry Silver x Reader

Tagging: @volumesofforgottenlore @kmc1989 @somethingdarkside17 @noonee333

Companion piece to All The Places That You've Been

You could spend hours watching the cherry blossoms in Osaka and Terry could spend hours watching you, back propped up against the tree trunk as you sketch out images of flower petals fluttering in the breeze.

Your hair is tied back into a messy bun, stray tendrils falling over your features. It takes him back to the moment he first met you, perched on a bench in the Louve, sketchbook resting on your lap. It had been love at first sight he thinks.

He’d spent the entire afternoon and then the evening in your company. He discovered you were an artist in residence nearby, that you were experimenting with different styles, different cultures, different techniques. You show him the things you’ve learned, his fingers tracing over the indentations of your artwork.

“They’re beautiful.” He tells you as he studies them.

He means it, truly he does.

He’d only meant to stay a couple of days in Paris but he spends the summer, touring galleries, frequenting new and adventurous places. You show him the secret side of the city, the places he’s never been.

You laugh together at Victor Noir’s trouser line.

Tour the catacombs, fingers entwined because you can still feel the ghosts.

You wine taste in the Montmarte’s Vineyard, where Terry teaches you how to decern between the flavours.

He makes love to you for the first time that night, the taste of peaches on your lips from the wine. You fall asleep in his arms and Terry realises at that moment in time he’s the happiest he’s ever been.

I thought I’d seen everything the world has to offer, he’d written in his travel journal, and then I met her.

“Come with me to Barcelona.” He whispers against your skin when the summer’s over. The two of you are tangled up together in bed, the sunlight highlighting your features as the breeze drifts in through the open French windows of his hotel suite. “Let’s make this last a little longer.”

It’s still going on two years later, through Milan, through Prague, through Berlin and so many other cities he’d have to flick through his travel journal to name them all.

Terry wants to give you the entire world and he does in abundance.

“Where shall we go next my love?” He asks you as you settle back against him, his lips brushing over your temple as the cherry blossoms fall around you.  

“I don’t mind.” You whisper, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “As long as I’m with you I don’t care where we go.”

Love Terry S? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

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[enderpearlll]

Lmao bob in prison cell arc? 😭 Only thing his roommates hear from him are bout his ‘sweet pea’ and death threats. Maybe the occasional morbid jokes and ‘did you know?’

Yandere!Bob Velseb - My Favourite Employee. Prison Arc???

Bob in prison cell arc, I love it 😭 I just had to write a couple of headcanons for this!

Gender-Neutral Reader, but pet names such as sweet pea and darling are used.

This is a bonus part to My Favourite Employee, so read the main story if you haven’t yet.

• Bob nearly killed the cops who took him away from his sweet pea, throughout the ride to the station they had to restrain him because he wouldn’t. Stop. Fighting. He kept screaming and hollering at the officers, and he kept calling out for you until he was escorted to his cell. Now, Bob wasn’t the type to cry over spilt milk, or any type of inconvenience for that matter, but as he stared at the bars that held him back from his sweet pea Bob let out a sob.

• Now, like you said Bob would definitely be talking to himself to keep a smidge of sanity. He’ll mark down the days on the concrete walls, keeping a track of time with a wavering smile. Bob thinks of you 24/7 as to never forget a single feature on your face, which barely keeps him afloat. Every meal he can’t bring himself to eat, constantly worrying about you even behind bars. Did you eat yet? Were you alright without him? It tears him apart knowing that he wasn’t there to take care of you.

• It’s the thought of seeing you again that keeps him going, his heart swelling when Bob thinks of you being all alone. He reassures himself with sweet nothings catered towards you, pretending that you were with him all hours of the day. Now, the two thieves on the other side of his cell were sick and tired of Bob’s shit. All they can hear was “Sweet pea, ‘m so sorry…” “Darlin’…” and the never ending scratching against the walls.

• Bob aches for the chance that you’d visit or at least call, but as weeks go by the ache in his chest only gets stronger. He knows you’ll come for him, he knows it… Bob gets so bad to the point where he has hallucinations about you and vivid dreams with you in them.

• Eventually, three years pass by and Bob is barely hanging on by a thread. His walls are covered in carvings of an obsessive manner, there was even drawings made with his own blood. When a creepy doll had opened the cell door and waddled off, Bob watched as the bars that separated him from his sweet pea opened wide with a loud creak. Bob stumbled out of his dark corner where he sat most of the day, rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

• He couldn’t believe his eyes, was this a dream? It was all too good to be true as he stepped into the hallway, a wide grin stretching over his face. His heart was beating out of his chest, having felt genuine joy for the first time in literal years. He let out a wild bout of laughter, his cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling.

“Don’t worry sweet pea, I’m comin’ for ya…”

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

What if... you were the Kingpin and they were the detectives? Bonus chapter | BTS OT7 au

Prev

This was supposed to be a drabble... but 7.8K words later (insert facepalm here)

Warnings: stockholm syndrome? Suggestive scenes, yandere tendencies, alluded noncon (kissing)... kidnapping (depends on your perspective), smut but not smut, mentions of death, angry Hobi, angry Tae, bruises, injuries, corruption, stalking, unhealthy obsessions, control.

Playlist : Chills (Dark Version) - Mickey Valen & Joey Myron, Friends - Chase Atlantic Captain Namjoon, Detective Hyung line, Officer Maknae line

He hadn’t said a word since he entered the ward three hours ago, flipping between ignoring you or staring at you so intently you could feel the pressure of his gaze like an uncomfortable weight. There was no sign of emotion or thought on his face, unless it was anger whenever you moved or spoke. Hoseok found the whole thing amusing, wondering when the young officer was going to explode. They both sat on either side of your hospital bed, today you managed to sit up and although you wouldn’t admit it, you were thankful for the morphine that dulled the ache in your injuries. 

You glance at the detective for the umpteenth time in question when Taehyung almost growls, his eyes on the floor, his jaw clenched hard when you try to speak to him. Hobi has to fight back the laughter, how does he tell you Tae was punishing you in his own way for your recklessness. Not allowing himself to talk to you was a punishment for himself too, for the fact they could’ve been too late. He exhales through his nose harshly, you swore there was steam.

“Okay seriously what is your problem?” Your voice was still hoarse, but it had only been a day since you woke from the attack and after three hours of his petulant behaviour, you had enough. You tried being patient but being stuck here because of them wasn’t making patience your strongest suit. “Seriously, I didn’t ask to be he-”

You almost choke on your words as they fly back down your throat at his glare. Coward, a small voice inside of you mocks, but even behind that voice you could feel the undertone of weariness. You’re so glad your men can’t see you now, although you’re not sure they’d survive a second of Kim Taehyung’s wrath themselves.

You break eye contact first with a scoff, trying to build back your authority in a situation where it didn’t matter. If one of your underlings looked at you like that, he would have a bullet in each eye no questions asked. This Officer was seriously pushing you to your limits. Fine, if he wanted to behave like a two year old for no good reason, you’d ignore his little pathetic display. 

Hobi watches your jaw clench in anger, finding the silent fight between you and your expression amusing. 

“Can you get your ridiculous Captain on the phone?” You say to Hoseok without glancing at him, your attention spent on flicking aggressively through a magazine. 

“Why little love, are you upset he hasn’t come to visit?”

You scoff again but he swears he can see you try to hide a sense of embarrassment from your features. Maybe he hit the mark, Namjoon would be pleased to hear of it. 

“I’d like to know how much longer I’m going to be serving my sentence for,” you roll your eyes, every word containing a spiteful bite despite the weakness in your voice.

“He’s busy,” Hoseok disregards the comment entirely, eyes on his own book although he hadn’t read a word since arriving. Why would you want to leave? Did Jackson hit you so hard in the head you forgot what happened? The sound of kissing teeth makes you glance at Taehyung, narrowing your eyes at him before you now give the older male your attention. 

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Be. Here.”

Hoseok’s eyes darken as they find you, he leans closer, rising from his chair until his face was in front of yours. 

“I. Don’t. Care,” he says with as much conviction as you had, his tone dead serious, warning you not to challenge him but you were always one to defy those who tried to control you. Your shocked face contorts into anger. 

“Fuck this,” you mutter, shoving the bed sheets off you as you swing your legs down. As you’re about to rip the IV from your arm, a grip on wrists stops you. Hoseok’s face is blank when you stare daggers into it. 

“Have you looked in the mirror?” There’s a weight in his voice that you had never heard before, his amused veil wiped bare to reveal his true disposition. His eyes glance down at the bruises he tried to ignore until he was forced to acknowledge them. He tried to keep the atmosphere light since his arrival since you were recovering, but of course your bratty nature would force his hand. 

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” you snap back, breaking your wrist out of his hold since his grasp slackened at your words. It cut him, to think of you getting hurt and they were unaware of you suffering alone. 

“You’ll leave when you’re better,” he says, signalling that it was the end of the argument but you could never just let things be, not when the control was out of your hands. 

“I’ll leave when I want to.”

He closes his eyes for a second after he watches you rip the IV out of your arm, trying to control the surge of anger and disappointment. You were lashing out, that was all, he would have to exercise his patience. 

You move too fast, forgetting your own condition as you jump off the bed. Or maybe it was the drugs that had dulled your senses including common sense and reason. Whatever it was, its magic didn’t last long, you stumble pitifully when you try to stomp away, trying to hold yourself up proudly until a stabbing pain in your side forces you to crumble.  

“Can you stop!” 

You’re held up against his chest as he glances down at your now bleeding wound, the movement having pulled your stitches apart. You’re dizzy, looking up at the swaying figure of Taehyung, or was the room spinning? He seemed solid, the rest of the world moving in circles around you. Finally, he spoke to you. You don’t realise you’ve sighed in relief, staring up at him. He could give you his scolding expression all he wanted, you just wanted to hear his voice. 

You don’t fight him when he takes you back to the bed, ranting loudly with so much aggression even when Hoseok grabs the doctor to close your opened stitches. He holds your hand as they work on you, even as he hurls furious words at you. 

“Why are you so stupidly stubborn? Stop behaving like a brat! You’re acting like we’re keeping you here for the sake of it, like we enjoy seeing you like this,” behind the anger you can hear the hurt, the sadness hiding behind the rumbling deep tone. “How many times do you need to nearly die before you realise you’re not invincible!”

You didn’t say a word, taking every stab of his complaints, squeezing his hand when the needle pierced your skin. He stops then, kissing your hand a hundred times through the pain. It’s only when the doctor leaves he hides his expression behind your clasped hand, his head bowed low so his hair covers his eyes. He’s still, too still. 

“You looked like you were dead,” his voice breaks and you can hear the tears before you feel them on your skin. 

You must look like a deer in headlights when he meets your gaze again, unable to comprehend he was crying over this. The others hadn’t so you just never expected him to, or considered he would. 

He sniffs, his tears flowing freely and he doesn’t stop them. You don’t know why you feel compelled to, but you wipe them away with the hand he wasn’t holding, reaching over carefully. He nuzzles into your hand, seeking comfort after revealing his vulnerabilities, bringing the other hand to his other cheek. 

“Don’t do it again,” he scolds you as harshly as he can before he starts sobbing. You watch him breakdown between your hands, the sight gripping your heart in a way you weren’t familiar with. It made you ache, you actually felt like apologising but the words were stuck on the tip of your tongue, your stubborn pride refusing to let them out. 

“Come here,” you say softly instead, shuffling carefully back to make room for him. He doesn’t hesitate, crawling into your arms quickly like he craved to be held. You play with his hair when he presses his face into your chest, his arms wrapping around you tentatively, aware not to hold you as tight as he wanted. You hoped he couldn’t hear how hard your heart started beating, or the rate it was galloping at as a reaction to his proximity.

Just as you’re trying to calm down, you’re startled by Hoseok pulling your other arm around the officer, so you were comforting him properly. 

“Taehyung be careful,” he warns, before leaving you both alone for a moment. He needed to update the others on your behaviour and the consequences of it anyway. They weren’t going to be impressed to say the least. 

“I wasn’t there,” he breathes, his lips coming away from your chest so you can hear him, but his forehead and eyes still nuzzled there as he relived it. “I just saw you being carried out like a body.”

He shudders against you, the onslaught of tears making it harder to get his words out. He thought he was going to have to plan your funeral, the thought plunged him into a deep abyss he was still crawling out of.

“Do you know how long we were waiting for you to wake up?” He cries, “We didn’t leave your side until Namjoon hyung forced us too, when they said you were stable, but I didn’t believe them.”

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes and you blink them back fast, it wasn’t the situation that caused them to water but the raw heartbreak in his voice. 

“I just kept thinking, what if they were lying? What if you didn’t wake up?”

He remembers how Jimin and Jungkook had to drag him out on the Captain’s orders, as he begged them to not make him leave you. No one gave into his tears, not the detectives, not his fellow officers. Safe to say he didn’t talk to anyone until now. He wouldn’t forgive them for taking him away from you either. 

—

It had been a week… you were going crazy. The only human contact you had, if you could call them human, were your police officer turned babysitting bodyguards. Or the hospital staff that didn’t say a word to you. You tried a couple of times to make conversation, but they all glanced with worry at the men blocking your exit and discharge which made things clear enough. Hell, you had done similar things in your line of work, but it was still odd to be the one stuck in the cage rather than the one with the key. 

You watch the clock on the wall turn to 8, something about it both soothed and irritated you. The fact time was moving, there was proof of it, but you were stuck in the same loop of a day over and over again. 

“Love, you need to eat a little more or Jin hyung’s going to kill me tomorrow,” Yoongi sighs as he watches you pace the room, Jungkook standing at the door way poised and ready to catch you if you try to run… again. 

You had to stop underestimating them, it was what foiled your plans over and over. So you look at the facts, for some reason these men were interested in you. And the one thing they wanted from you so far, that you could tell, was your attention. They seemed to crave it in fact… So what if you gave in? 

You already tried fighting your way out which proved useless in your current state, especially when there were two of them and only one feeble mess of you. So the seduction tactic it was, it was a bit outdated for your liking but a classic foolproof method nonetheless. 

Jungkook and Yoongi watch the furrow of your brows as you stare at the floor with your pacing, like the answer to your escape was written there and you were reading intently. They could see a scheme form behind your eyes, already sighing internally for the next fight. Yoongi was so close to just lacing your IV with something to get you to settle the fuck down, as much as he loved your antics on a normal day, he didn’t appreciate them when they were slowing your recovery.

Jungkook on the other hand didn’t mind your prison break attempts, he took it as a little game you played with them, like a grown up version of kiss chase. And sure enough, every time he caught you he would kiss you, getting bolder each time he did.  

“I’m not hungry for food,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. You were hungry for freedom.

“If you eat a little, we can go out for a while, how about a walk in the park?” Yoongi suggests innocently. Did he seriously expect you to take the bait? Your eyes narrow, giving him the side eye as you pace past him, that was not going to work twice Min Yoongi. 

He bites his lips to stop from chuckling too loudly, he knew you wouldn’t fall for that again, he just wanted a reaction from you. 

You stop your pacing with a sigh, head tilting back as you groan out your frustration, before you turn your gaze to the guard puppy blocking the door. 

“I don’t know why you’re standing there like a prison guard,” you scoff in disbelief. “As if I’m going to outrun you in this state.”

Jungkook tilts his head, a distrusting look in his eyes as he takes in your nonchalance. 

“You’ve tried ten times before, and opened your stitches twice.”

You roll your eyes again, who was keeping count? But that was the opening you were looking for. 

“Maybe I just like getting caught,” you shrug, taking a step towards him. You see his jaws slacken as he gets caught in your suggestive stare, like a doe in headlights. His gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Or maybe I like being punished.”

He watches your eyes travel down the length of him, his blood following until there's none left in his head, it makes him fuzzy, his every focus on you. Your gaze is slow to move up to his face, as if you were savouring the tone of his body and every muscle he had to offer you. There’s a dare in your eyes, you haven’t closed the distance between you, you were making him do it. 

“Come on Kookie,” you tease, watching his eyes glaze over at the pet name and how sweetly you called for him. “Are you going to keep making a girl run for your attention?”

You tilt your head to the side, grinning as you hum in question. You turn to Yoongi, manspread on the chair like an invitation. His tongue peeking out to wet his lips when you look at him, hooded eyes shamelessly checking you out, calling you to him. He grins, shaking his head softly. He knew exactly what you were doing, the younger officer did too, he just didn’t care. 

“Maybe I should just play with Yoongi instead.”

You bite your lips to stop yourself from chuckling as Jungkook finally moves towards you. You’re engulfed in him in a second, his palm on the back of your head as his lips find yours urgently. He moans deep into your soul when you reciprocate, you hadn’t done that before and it made him want to lose all thought and reason. The hand on your waist squeezes tightly, like he was checking you were real, this was real and not another wet dream. He groans against your lips again, not coming away from you for a second to breathe, this was so much better than anything he could have imagined, the taste of you on his tongue, he always craved it and now he was never going to let it go. 

“Jungkook, you’re both recovering, slow down,” Yoongi mumbles, trying not to sound affected as he watched you both, his expression bored but the way his fingers dug into his thighs would give him away if you looked at him.

His words take a second to sink in, a frown on your face as you tear away from the maknae, a needy whimper escaping his lips as they try to follow yours but you push him back. Your attention snaps to Yoongi instead, holding the desperate man at arms length while he tries to fight the space between you away.

“What do you mean by both recovering?”

He doesn’t answer. You look at Jungkook with accusing eyes, fire in them that makes him look at you with a pout. He hadn’t been listening, why were you suddenly so upset? 

“I asked you if you were hurt,” you grit your teeth, trying to contain the rage that ignited in your chest. He denied it, you remember, or had he avoided giving you a direct answer? His limbs have settled by his side, watching you tentatively with his doe eyes, like a child being scolded.

You tug his top up, revealing his abs but you can’t admire them when they're covered in bruises. Faded, but still there, even after a week. Your mind flashes back to that night, remembering how badly he got hit, of course he was going to be injured and yet the idiot behaved like he was fine. You were set like a volcano ready to erupt, burning rage on the tip of your tongue ready to set him alight but he beats you to it. 

“I didn’t want you to worry,” his eyes gloss over as he says it, a sad pout defusing the bomb that was a millisecond away from exploding, your anger fizzling out when he looked at you so pitifully. Your gaze falls back to his wounds, trying to understand why it affected you so much. Your men have died for you before, and while it was upsetting, it was also their jobs. These 7 men that have infiltrated your life have no ties to you, but they saved you that day. 

“Stop getting hurt for me,” you mumble, your finger tracing around the bruise, avoiding his eyes completely. 

“Never,” Jungkook promises proudly, taking your hand away from his injuries, kissing them as he admired the way you tried to avoid his gaze. “I’d give my life for you, little love.”

You roll your eyes as if he were joking, but you could hear how sincere his tone was, and it scared the shit out of you. You seriously needed to get your wits about you and leave.

“Sit on the bed,” you tell him too softly for it to be a command. He does as he’s told without letting go of your hand, pulling you along with him as he sits in front of you. 

“Shuffle back,” you tell him, and he does, eyes looking up at you like saucers when you straddle him, your fingers on the nape of his neck. You tug his head back by his hair, his adam apple bobbing again at the change in tension, but this time it was within your reach. You never found a man’s throat so sexy before. You press your lips to it, grinning when he openly moaned at such a small action. His hands find your hips, gripping so tightly you wondered if you were going to get matching bruises. 

You kiss his jugular, biting softly before chuckling when he swears with a groan, trying to ground himself but he was past intoxicated when it came to you. 

“I want this off sweetie,” you tug his top again, whispering in his ear like it was a dirty secret. 

He fumbles to take his top off in a hurry, afraid you could change your mind any minute, the fabric brushing his hair into a mess. The sight has you stifling your own sounds, but what has your arousal dripping is the look in his eyes. He looked drunk, his droopy eyes trying so hard to stay open and take you in but wanting to close so he could savour each feeling you were giving him. 

You peck his lips, and he keeps them pursed for you, asking for another. You smirk, kissing the corner of his mouth, giving him a little of what he wants before working your way down his neck, finding the junction where his broad shoulders began. 

“Oh f-fuck-”

His hands pull you flush against him when you start sucking on the skin, swipes of your tongue cooling the sting of each bite. He starts rutting his hips up like a reflex, he whines like he’s begging for you, wordless but the desperation is there loud and clear. 

You hold back your own sounds of approval when you feel his length pressing and brushing against all the right places despite the clothes between you. You could lose yourself to this, but you try to keep your head clear, even if every sound coming from his lips made you want to fuck him on the damn bed, be damned if anyone sees or hears. Your fingers find his hair again, tugging it back harshly to ground yourself.

You hear a chuckle beside the debauchery you were making, almost forgetting about the feline eyes watching you. He glances at the string of saliva still connecting you both when you pull away, swallowing air to keep himself composed when he meets the raw carnal energy in your eyes while the man under you stuck his head into your breasts, unable to handle being so far apart. You stroke the back of his head with a laugh, your stare still on Min Yoongi like you were going to pounce on him too, and he hopes to hell you are. 

“You scared away all the staff,” he comments, gesturing to the glass doors of the ward. You have to bite back the grin of victory when you confirm his words, keeping your wits about you. There were still a few people from what you could gather, but you could deal with that. 

“Hmmm,” you acknowledge as if the news meant nothing to you, looking the detective dead in the eye, “it’s your own private show Yoongi.”

You watch the way he rubs his thigh, eyes on the tent in his jeans that look uncomfortable. 

“Or were you hoping for a part,” you mumble, gaze fixed on his length as your mouth watered. You exhale slowly, how touch deprived were you, when all you could think about was putting him in your mouth. “Turn off the light Yoongi, I don’t want you to arrest me for indecent exposure.”

He chuckles, happily turning off the lights with the switches next to him without taking his eyes off you. The message in them was clear, your move.  

Jungkook claws at your thighs when you start to climb off him, a series of disapproving jumbled nonsense tumbling out of his mouth.

“N-no Noon-a sstay,” his arm pushes your chest against his, locking you against him as he tries to kiss you again, lips clumsy but passionate as they find yours. He hums into your mouth like he had a craving fixed, losing himself to the sensation. Your hand finds his throat, squeezing around the skin it could cover. His lips part in a groan, clouded eyes staring into your own. He gulps, you can feel the movement against your palm, pushing him back until his lips were only grazing yours.  

“If you want me,” you whisper. “You have to behave.”

He shakes his head desperately when you start to move away from him again.

“Be good for me Kookie, come on,” you try to placate him, pulling on his belt, “take these off for me while I go look after your hyung, okay?”

Yoongi’s surprised by how he listens to your soft instructions, but he can’t focus on that when you're striding towards him. For a second he really wants to give into this, believe that this wasn’t a scheme and you were accepting their affection for you. But he knows better. That didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge a little. 

He bites his lips when your hooded eyes look down on him, taking in his pretty features with a smile. You lean down, a hand on the armrest beside his own to support yourself, fingers of your other hand softly stroking his hair back as he tilts his head to look up at you, your faces inches from each other. You look like you’re admiring him, your gaze flickering across his face as you take him in. You trace his cheek, the slow process making his hands clutch the arm rests as he holds himself back. He wanted you to kiss him too, but he wanted it to be your choice, for you to make the first move and claim him. He wanted his love to be reciprocated, for real, but he’d take this illusion for now. 

“You’re so pretty Yoongi,” you whisper sincerely, your gaze on his lips as your thumb brushes where he had bitten. 

He thinks it’s a dream when you finally close the distance, differently to what you had with Jungkook, your lips soft against his. You pull away too soon but he lets you, your eyes searching his for something, whatever it was he’d give it to you, whatever you wanted. His hand holds onto the back of your thigh, as if he was scared you would pull away too far. 

“Do you know how often I would get into trouble, hoping I would find myself in an interrogation room with you,” you confess with a smile, it reaches your eyes, little creases under them where your cheeks fill. He looks for the lie in your features, and either you were too good at it for him to spot your tell, or you were giving him the truth he longed for. 

“Is that why you would grin so happily when I walked in little love,” he smirks but it turns into a gummy smile when you nod emphatically. 

“I wanted to see my pretty detective,” your eyes glance down at his lips again. His smile fades, his mouth parted as the term repeats in his head, stuck in a loop like his favourite song. Your detective…. Your pretty detective. 

If you were playing him you were doing it a little too well, like you knew exactly what they wanted to hear, what would make them lose their minds to their dicks. 

“Let me see my pretty detective Yoongi,” you croon to him, hand on the button of his jeans, undoing it slowly while maintaining eye contact. 

You kiss him again, more urgently this time, fingers pulling down his zipper, brushing against his cock. His hips jut at the sensation, his blood pounding in his head threatening to cut off all sense if he didn’t pull himself together. His hand wraps around your wrist to stop you moving any further, but he keeps kissing you, more fervently not wanting to cut you off completely, just enough to keep an ounce of his wavering sanity and control. 

He lets you pull away for breath, leaning your forehead against his as you try to fill your lungs. 

“You’re still dressed love,” he comments, the insinuation in his voice clear. He loved you, but he didn’t trust you. 

You giggle, and his lips lift at the sound, revealing to you just how whipped he really was. It was okay if he didn’t trust you, you didn’t need his trust right now.

“Should we fix that?” You ask, he lets you go as you take a step back. You wiggle your hips a little, laughing when you hear a frustrated groan come from the bed. You’re thankful Jungkook still has his boxers on when you sneak a peek at his figure, the light from the corridor enough for you to see him, but still making it dark enough that navigating in the room would be difficult. His eyes don’t leave you as he lays on the bed, wanting you to straddle him again. That was one boy in position. One last thing left to do. 

“Shall we all do it together?” you suggest playfully, hoping they’d take the bait. It was such a shame you couldn’t indulge them all the way, maybe another day. 

Your fingers play with the hem of your top, pulling it up slowly to reveal your skin. Both men watch intently, brains running blanks.

“Come on,” you push, pausing with the material bunching under your boobs. You pull it up a fraction, the lace of your bra did little to cover your skin. You were annoyed at the selection they brought to the hospital for your stay, calling the perverts out, but it had its uses now you admit. 

“Kookie take your boxers off, Yoongi your jeans,” you instruct them carefully, “I don’t beg boys, be good for me please.” 

The statement was contradictory, you knew, but it worked. Jungkook fumbles on the bed, trying to take his boxers off clumsily. The cool detective finally gives in, pulling his jeans down. The second they’re at his ankles, you make a run for it.

For the first time in all your escape attempts you actually make it out the door, but there’s no time for victory, you don’t think it'll take them long to put some form of clothing back on and chase you. Even still you couldn’t help the glee on your face, that is, until you’re lifted in the air much quicker than you had anticipated. 

What the fuck? You try to look behind you at who the culprit was, catching a glimpse of a very naked Jeon Jungkook on a reflective surface, face burning as you realise he really did run after you in his birthday suit. Damn… you hadn’t accounted for that, not when there were still some nurses and ward clerks around. Wow, he really had no shame. 

You know he’s pissed when you can see all the veins protruding out of his arms where he held onto you, the pressure making it hard to breathe. You still try to kick out of his grasp, but he doesn’t seem phased as he walks back into the empty ward. Unceremoniously you’re chucked on the bed, two sets of disappointed and glaring eyes on your form clearly despite the darkness. 

“I was wondering when that was going to happen,” Yoongi states as he zips his jeans, letting you know, you didn’t have them fooled for a second. 

“I was hoping she would wait until after the fun,” Jungkook grumbles, still very much naked you realise. You look away before it pulls your attention, chest beating hard as you stay quiet. 

Well that was definitely fun, but your plan was foiled. 

“I trust you realise what you’ve started, little love,” Yoongi chuckles, returning to his original position in the chair like nothing happened. “When the others hear about this… they might not be able to hold back.”

He laughs when your head snaps toward him, eyes begging for him to not say a word or you were going to have hell to deal with when the rest of them demanded your attention. Oh you had royally fucked up… You could already hear exactly what they were going to say, the way they would whine and complain until you gave in. 

You still had no idea how long this prison sentence was going to last, and you had inadvertently made things so much worse for yourself. 

—

“Good morning little love!” Jin says extra loudly, waking Jungkook from his slumber in the chair, his body leaned over so his head was in your lap. The boy must’ve been uncomfortable in that position but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Jin,” you greet him curtly, but your heart was already beating wildly in anticipation. You eye him cautiously, trying to hold onto your mask.

Jin had… his own ways to try and heal you. And he swore they were working, which is why he didn’t let up, not listening to reason when you argued you were naturally healing and his hocus pocus physical therapy was bullshit. He didn’t even wait for Yoongi and Jungkook to leave, already climbing onto the bed with no hesitation, the pair chuckling in amusement as you try to hide your embarrassment, the magazine you were pretending to read held higher to cover your face. Your shield gets snatched away from you, the detective giving you a stern look before an expectant one, his eyebrow rising when you didn’t rush into position for him. 

You gulp, trying your best to stubbornly glare at him. 

“What is he doing?” Yoongi mutters to Jimin, intrigued by the staring match you both had going on. 

“Hyung's new medical treatment,” Jimin snickers with a wide grin, finding the whole situation entertaining as he sat beside the bed where Yoongi previously was. 

“Love,” Jin says patiently, ignoring the conversation. “Lie down.”

The change in his eyes is what has you almost listening before you catch yourself. That soft look that turned dark with the promise he would bend you into behaving like you were a puppet on string. 

“Pervert,” you mumble, looking away with an eye roll to hide the fact you could physically no longer keep your gaze on the man, effectively forfeiting the staring match. 

You hear him sigh, but refuse to see his expression, crossing your arms in complete defiance. 

“Yah, can you two hurry and leave,” he huffs at you previous babysitters, “little love’s feeling shy with you both here.”

Yoongi grins smugly as Jungkook laughs before smirking wickedly. 

“I don’t think that’s it hyung,” Yoongi teases, gummy teeth on show as you send him a warning glare. “You didn’t see our darling last night.”

“Ahem,” Jungkook clears his throat to get everyone’s attention, before complaining rather dramatically, “my neck’s feeling a bit itchy.”

He pulls down his neck line of his top, pretending to scratch the skin, baring his neck to his audience so no one could miss the mark you left. He smiles gleefully, looking innocent despite his intentions. You actually facepalm, ears starting to burn at his antics, especially in front of Jin who now was eerily quiet. You were maybe slightly possibly too intimidated to look? You were the scary mafia boss outside of these walls, but completely at their mercy in these circumstances… as much as you hated it, that was the truth to your current predicament, and you were slowly learning to accept it. 

“I want one,” Jimin whines, tugging at your arm, pulling your hand away from your face, leaving you uncovered. Well here was karma…

“I think we should leave now Love,” Yoongi sounds too impressed with himself, especially as you scowl at him. 

“Have fun with the hyungs,” Jungkook laughs evilly, enjoying the mess he was leaving you to clean up after your antics last night.

You watch them leave, wanting to follow them. Why couldn’t they take you with them, you were feeling so much better, why were they holding you hostage here, just to torture you with their attention. 

“Heaven, I think you should lie down now,” Jimin suggests, his eyes on Jin while yours still couldn’t meet him. You dare a glance, finding the man in question staring a hole into your skull. 

“Lie down,” he commands before adding, “now.”

The younger of the two giggles at the pout you wear when you finally give in, of course rolling your eyes before you do. He sits more comfortably, waiting for the show to begin, his right foot coming to rest on his left thigh, his right elbow on his knee, resting his jaw in his palm as he leaned close to you. You could see the amusement in his eyes as they turned into happy crescents at your misfortune. 

Jin lies on top of you as if it was the most natural normal thing in the world, you stare intensely at the ceiling, trying to focus on anything other than how touch starved you were, close to diagnosing yourself with Stockholm syndrome. That must be it, why you actually liked feeling his weight along your torso, it was because you were stuck here with limited exposure to actual human beings and not these crack cases. 

There’s a second of anticipation that has you fighting the urge to squirm until finally his lips press against your throat. You feel him smile at the sharp intake of breath through your lips, your fingers desperately playing with the sheets to stop yourself from touching him anymore than you already were. He works on the bruises there slowly, inspecting them closely, noting with a pleased hum that they were fading. He doesn’t tell you he can feel your heart thumping against him, even though he wants to tease you about it. He pulls away from you just enough to inspect your face, chuckling under his breath at how intently you were staring at nothing. He sends Jimin a look before diving back into your neck, resuming his slow paced kissing. 

You feel fingers on your cheek, little caresses calling your attention, tilting your head to look at the officer gazing down on you with his full attention. He smiles when your eyes fall on him, his own heart racing. He still can’t believe he has you here, in his reach, where you can’t pull away. 

“Your bruises are fading little love,” Jimin states airily, watching your dilated eyes, wanting nothing more than to drown in them. “Hyung’s technique must be working.”

Normally you would scoff, you would deny it with so much passion and conviction it would hurt them, but you don’t even muster an eye roll. He can see the fight in your eyes simmer to nothing, a softness in them he rarely was privileged to see.

And then you take the sight away from him but he doesn’t mind when it comes with a small whine, your eyes closed, head tilting back as you try to hold the sound back. Jimin’s other hand claws into his leg, unable to handle the way his blood suddenly pumped south. 

“I thought you were meant to heal the marks, not make more,” you call Jin out, trying to sound put together but it still comes out slightly breathless. 

He lets out a guilty chuckle, although he feels no apology for his actions when you react like that. He can feel you tense when he does it again, his parted lips sucking on your skin, his tongue painting you. Finally your hands press against his arms, as if you were pushing him back, but there’s no force behind it. He doesn’t think you realise you’re holding your breath, only releasing it when your lungs force you to. 

You couldn’t ground yourself, no matter how hard you tried. You hated feeling vulnerable and these so called police officers were peeling your thick skin back layer by layer until they got to see every inch of you. And the worst part of it was you wanted to give in. 

A shrill ring makes you both jump, Jin finally pulling away from you when the noise is followed by vibrations felt in your legs. He groans in resentment at the interruption, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he climbs out of the bed. 

It takes you a second to get your bearings back, your eyes wandering to Jimin who’s stare hasn’t broken despite the rude interlude to his favourite show. Your skin tingles at his gaze, a weird mix of soft intensity in them making that vulnerable feeling increase tenfold. 

“Yah why do you pick the wrong times to call?” Jin seethes through the phone, looking over at you as he speaks. With both sets of eyes on you still lying down, you felt your limbs gear into motion, sitting up and pushing your embarrassment out of existence. You seriously needed to get out of here before you lost all shred of your dignity and pride. How were you going to face your men and lead them into criminal chaos after this? Who knows what was happening to your empire when you were stuck here playing some sick game of house. 

Jin sighs through the phone, walking over to you and holding it out or you to take. 

“It’s for you,” he grumbles, pacing the room when you take it from him. 

One look at caller ID has your nerves on edge, little butterflies in your stomach that you shoot down one by one. 

“Nice of you to visit your favourite criminal,” you say in place of greeting, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “You didn’t even send me flowers, but it’s so good of you to call.”

“Yoongi tells me you’re misbehaving, little love,” he says through the line, revealing why he was prompted to call at all. “Can’t you behave just this once, for me?”

Your heart thumped so hard at his voice you’re sure Jimin and Jin heard it going off the sudden smirks on their faces, or maybe it was the look on your face you were now schooling. You swallow before answering, berating yourself for reacting. It was always your bad behaviour that made the Captain pay you any attention you realise, what you were going to do with that information, you didn’t know just yet. 

“I’d like to see you try to make me behave, Captain Kim,” You challenge. “Come and give it a go, I’d like to see you fail.”

He chuckles, the sound making you want to smile too but you fight it. 

“Are you missing me that much Love?” 

The audacity and confidence in his tone makes you want to deny it outright. If you were, you would take that confession to the grave. 

“Mmmm I’ll show you just how much if you agree to let me go,” you tease through the line, watching Jimin bite his lips at your tone. “Come on, you can’t be that concerned if you send your underlings to do your dirty work.”

“Did she just call us underlings?” Jin spits comically but outraged, eyes turning into angry saucers as he starts ranting at Jimin about your ungratefulness. 

Namjoon turns quiet, it has your confidence faltering, eyes on your bed sheets as you pick at a nonexistent stray thread. Insecurity was a new feeling, and you didn’t like it. You didn’t even know why it reared its head, but something was forcing you to gain his reassurance. 

“You really have no idea, do you?” he breathes through the line after what feels like a lifetime. “Be patient love, I’ll show you just how concerned I am.”

“Promise?” You try to sound like you were joking, your inner voice berating you for behaving so weakly, but you blamed it on being stuck in this place. It was a side effect of your current situation, you weren’t in your throne right now, you were recovering and it wasn’t just your body that needed healing. 

“I promise,” the deep timbre of his voice that could rival Taehyung’s made your heart flutter against your wishes. “Now be good.”

“I can’t guarantee it,” you reply, feeling the end of the conversation nearing, and you didn’t want it to. 

He chuckles again unsurprised, and you wish he was here for you to witness it. 

“I have to go, little love,” he says, knowing exactly what you were doing. 

“So go,” you say as nonchalantly as you can. “Who’s stopping you? I’m a busy woman anyway, running an empire and all- oh wait no, I’m stuck here.”

Your eyes narrow as if he could see you, hoping you filled your voice with enough venom to cover your previous vulnerability. 

“Well since you’re recovering so well I guess we can give you a reward,” he states. “Leave it with me, I can’t have your empire crumbling, you would never forgive me.”

“Or just let me leave.”

“No.”

You huff, passing the phone back to Jin without a goodbye, turning away from them, trying to conceal the fact that your heart ached for reasons unknown to even yourself. 

—

You’re asleep when Namjoon steps through the ward doors, the lights are all off, only the dim hum of them peered through from the corridor but he could see your figure perfectly. Taehyung was asleep beside you, it both warmed his heart and struck a chord of jealousy in him, watching the officer holding you so tightly against his chest, slotting behind you perfectly. Yoongi doesn’t say a word in greeting, just nodding from his chair to acknowledge the new presence, his arms crossed as he stayed guard. 

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” Yoongi whispers his discontent as Namjoon’s thumb brushes against your temple and cheek, watching you breath with a silent fondness. 

He only gives the older male a look, not piercing but a testament to his decision being final. He leaves his gift on the bedside table, turning away from you to leave while he still could. He had been away from you for too long, the abstinence carved a cavity in his chest but he had little choice in the matter. 

The higher ups were watching him, he still had an inquiry about that night, covering it up was proving to be more difficult than he hoped. Not to mention the bribes he was pulling to make the matter go away, he barely had time to eat in the day or sleep at night, but it would all be worth it when it was over and dealt with. 

Yoongi watches him leave, noting the tiredness in his eyes, the slouch in his form, glad that their Captain was handling it and trusting him completely that he would. The worst case scenario running through their minds was imprisonment, they barely could keep tabs on you in the world. How were they meant to, if you were stuck in one site, and they were chained away in another?

His eyes fall on you, the peace in your features as you sleep. They would never let it come to that. In his peripherals, Namjoon’s ‘gift’ catches his attention again, the detective almost scowling at it. Your phone taunted him with the reminders of what came with it, they just took you away from the dangers of that life, why was Namjoon letting you handle your business when the only thing you should be focusing on is rest. He grumbles to himself. At least it would make you happier in the morning.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist :  @nlost21 @pb-n-juju @needyomnivore @lvpersona @marvelfamily3000 @love2lovesworld @halesandy @dreamamubarak @deepseavibez @mikymouse0729 @barnesrogerslover @itismochirice @mwitsmejk @minswife4life  @agustverse @whtamidoingagain @missmoxxiesworld @itsjustwinter @midiplier @toriluvsfics @juju-227592 @galacticmei @mardduska @paymeinkash @blxssxmsposts @elysianpoetsblog @bbl32 @maliyachan 

[enlightenedrobot]

So here’s a project I’ve not advertised at all. No Requests: Live! From the Tavern is an Adult focused Edutainment series focused on discussing Art, Music, and Media. Each episode is broken up into segments that work together in a playlist including various other videos on Youtube. This means Music Videos, short films, and other video essays, curated together with extra commentary from the host of the show, Tavern Barz.

That’s a weird and unnecessarily complicated format, why are you doing this?

It’s really easy in this day and age to use Youtube videos as a replacement for other content. I mean, why watch a two hour movie when you can watch a 20 minute recap? 

This is a bad habit. Critique is important aspect to a good media diet, but a diet consisting solely of critique misses the point completely. In order to talk about media, we must also experience it. 

This format means we don’t directly compete with the art featured. Rather, Tavern Barz acts as a museum curator, and the other media in the playlists serve as the actual art itself. The original videos will get their view, and… as a nice little bonus, I get to avoid the copyright bots.

Why are you using a cartoon?

I mean, I’m an animator. I don’t know what else to tell you. Why does the Chocolate guy use chocolate when clay will last longer?

But also, I don’t really have any desire to host the show as myself. There’s a hundred and ten other Youtubers who will get on camera to talk about stuff, and like, I don’t have the room for that. 

Besides, Tavern is a character distinct from me. As a writer, I have full control over the narrative I want to tell, and placing myself in the center of that just feels weird. Tavern’s allowed to act and be weird and hypocritical. Tavern is allowed to grow as a character in ways you can’t really depict through the lens of literal documentary filmmaking. 

So that Cyclops character isn’t just your rantsona vtuber avatar?

I mean, in a very literal sense, Tavern is a Vtuber. They are a virtual character serving as the host for a real show on Youtube.

But Tavern’s also an OC with lore and a planned Story Arc. The pilot is admittedly pretty bare bones with all this, but I intent to incorporate more story elements as the series goes on.

Alright, so what’s the lore then?

Tavern Barz is the Cycloptic owner of the Tavern Barz Tavern, a fifth dimensional divebar thar exists all across Time and Space. After several eternities of service, Tavern thinks they know it all.

This is not true.

Is this project family friendly?

Not really. The main character is a bartender, so there's a lot of alcohol focus. Plus, a lot of the featured videos will also contain plenty of adult themes.

The pilot is pretty mild. There's some swearing, but nothing too serious. But the non original videos might have adult themes. I have some later episodes planned, including one focused on The Male Gaze, and in those cases, I can't in good conscience recommend these videos to minors.

All in all, I like to call the tone of the project comfortably adult. I'm not going out of my way to be edgy, but I'm also not censoring myself. If this were an actual TV series, it's probably be TV-14. Edgier than the Simpsons, not as edgy as Rick and Morty, so about the level of Futurama.

When will this project release?

April, 2024. As of the time of this writing, the first episode is basically finished except for the credits, but I also need sometime to compile my sources, write descriptions, and make some thumbnails, as well as advertise the project.

Follow Me on this Account if you wanna keep up with the project. You can also see my other links at https://norequestslive.carrd.co/

[oncamelliastreet]

how would u recommend getting into 5sos?? i have friends who think i'll like them but it feels like a daunting task

OOO OO OOOOO

okay A) do it, they’re the best band ever and literally so funny you’ll die and luke hemmings is the loml so like you need to

B) the way i did it was i just listened to their first album and worked from there, but if we’re being extremely honest here their first album is hardly anyone’s favorite and that’s for a reason, so if you’re gonna listen to an album first i’d say either work from the beginning because you’ll here their growth more, or their 4th album CALM is really good and it’s only like 12 songs plus a bonus track and it’s a really good intro to them, or youngblood is my fav album by them so i’d definitely throw that your way

C) if you don’t want to listen to an album first and just want to get a feel, here are my fav songs by them

- take my hand (joshua tree version) ((ashton, the drummer, has said that this is the song he would want to define their band))

- lie to me (NOT the version featuring julia michaels) (this one comes with an extremely sad music video which i would be glad to describe to you in depth

- bad omens (literally one of their best songs)

- teeth

- no shame

- jet black heart (this one is really personal to their guitarist michael and they’ve said that they’re never removing it from their set list because it’s just too good which is amazing news because this song live is CATHARTIC)

- outer space/carry on (don’t be confused by the random silence in the middle it’s the rain in outer space if you listen closely, also i listen to this one every new year’s eve because it’s very hopeful and comforting)

- older (luke hemmings ft. his wife basically but it’s literally the most beautiful depressing love song and they randomly released it one day so i was crying at the bank after school when it first came out)

- not in the same way (THEIR BEST BRIDGE)

- out of my limit

- gotta get out (the first song they wrote and it fucking slaps dude)

also for some background info: they started out as a pop rock-ish band and luke hemmings is their lead singer, but they all sing and play instruments.

luke hemmings - lead singer, rhythm guitar (but he can also fucking shred because he’s made of angel dust)

calum hood - bass, background vocals mostly (he sings the entirety of wildflower & babylon and has mixed verses here and there throughout all their albums)

michael clifford - lead guitar, background vocals (he also has mixed verses here and there and sings the entirety of emotions)

ashton irwin - drums (and a beast at them) and background vocals (he had verses here and there too but not as common)

if you listen to a song, for example, Teeth, and you pause and think wait, there’s no way that’s the same guy singing because the vocals go so high and they were so deep before, that’s not possible, ITS LUKE!!! HE HAS THE MOST AMAZING RANGE OF ANY MALE ARTIST ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET AND CAN AND WILL SING AS HIGH OR AS LOW AS HE WANTS BECAUSE HE IS AN ICON

and if you wanna get to know their personalities first, carpool karabloke was the first video i watched of them (their australian hence karabloke) and it’s literally just them fucking around in the car listening to their album CALM (side note, that albums is there names —calum, ashton, luke, michael—because if there’s one thing they love, it’s naming an album after themselves. see: 5 seconds of summer, livesos, CALM, 5sos5)

and one more thing, if you listen to them and don’t really fuck with them (you would be wrong, by the way, listen again) then two of their members have solo works!! ashton had two albums: blood on the drums and superbloom, and luke has an album: when facing the things we turn away from (this one i could really talk about for hours because it’s my favorite album of all time) and a long ep called “boy” which is also amazing, so i would check those out

okay sorry i totally just infodumped on you because i have so much 5sos info in my brain and nobody to share it with YAYAYAY so if you ever want like a super in depth breakdown of like one of their music videos or their history feel free to ask me about it because i would loooove to talk about this for hours

also you’ll have to wait a sec for your flower because my sister literally told me she got engaged in the middle of me writing this so i got distracted 😭

[frodo-with-glasses]

So, what’s next?

We’ve reached the end of the book, but the fun is just getting started! Here’s what to expect going forward.

Phase One: Reblog Marathon

First things first, I’m taking a short break from the daily doodles. For a couple weeks, this blog will be all reblogs of meta posts and gifsets; I’ve been storing them up for the past year and a half, and I’m taking the opportunity to share them all now!

At the same time, I’ll be running a BRAND NEW ASK GAME that I’m calling the “Artist Commentary Game”! Keep an eye out in about three hours for a post explaining it!

Phase Two: The Epilogue

This phase will be much slower-paced than the previous ones. This past year and a half has really helped me hone my ability to keep a schedule and be creative on demand (without burning out, amazingly!), but there’s only so much time in the day; and I want to focus those skills primarily on my original writing for a little while.

But that doesn’t mean I’m abandoning this blog! I’ll try to have something new posted here at least once a week, including:

A review of the epilogue found in The End of the Third Age (this one’s for you, @lady-merian!)

Any art inspired by that epilogue (watch me try not to draw the whole chapter haha)

Some bonus “after the war” comics (mostly featuring my two favorite families, Sam’s and Beregond’s, to nobody’s surprise)

Some Magnolia AU stuff

More lyric comics set to Hamilton songs

And more!

I still have a few of the Word Asks left over, so I might answer those as well. (To the anon who sent me a bunch of words for Frodo and Sam: I love you, I haven’t forgotten you, and I’m just saving the best for last ;-3)

Phase Three: The Digital Age

This one will run congruently with Phase Two, but it might outlast it.

As many of you know, I plan to set up a Redbubble store (by popular demand), and part of that process is turning my doodles into digital art in full color. As each of those new digital pieces is finished, you’ll see them posted here! I’ll try to have at least one published every week as well.

Phase Four: Deja Vu

At some point—perhaps September 22nd, because Important Dates—I want to start the book over again. There’s a lot of things I’d want to draw for, say, the Mines of Moria that I feel I could do a lot better now that my art has grown.

Again, I don’t know when this will start—between my original writing and setting up the store I already have a LOT of work on my plate—but I intend to do it at some point!

Phase Five: Bilbo-With-Glasses

Depending on the workload of Phase Four, I might run this one at the same time; but in any case, one day I will create a separate blog giving the patented Lady Glasses treatment to The Hobbit!

In conclusion…

This past year and a half has been really fun, and the future of the blog looks bright! I’m excited, and I hope you are too. ^-^ See you there!

[peachesvanilla]

My Sunshine

Description: Everyone has or had a crush in their lifetime, at least once. I too have a crush, sometimes it causes butterflies swimming in my stomach other times it breaks my heart. He is far out of my reach. I settled my heart to just watch him from far until he moved to my neighborhood. From stranger to a known person, I became close to Jongin. But problem is he has a girl in his gang, she is mostly around him. And the rumors are they are dating. Maybe when he was far away, my heart didn’t ache this much. I want him to be a part of my life now. Cause he is my love and sunshine.

Pairing: Jongin x oc

warnings: none for now

Chapter - 1

The Surprise

“...sleeping. She will be sleeping even when the world is coming to an end or an asteroid just crashes next to her.” 

Ugh. One day of peaceful sleep, all I ask is 12 hours of peaceful sleep. Is that too much to ask? Why can’t my mom just let me be and…

“She’s drooling.” She tsked, tugging the bottom of my duvet. 

“Nooo,” I groan, pulling the duvet back up. Warmth I need warmth.

“Grades. I need you to get good grades.” My mom’s low eerie voice sends chills down my body. I flunked my last semester so bad. “Aren’t you going to your classes?” I can sense the fumes flaring from my mom, and the scary spatula swinging in her hand even without opening my eyes. 

“If you aren’t up in one minute..” her threat hangs low in the air. “One.. two.. three..” 

My duvet is pulled down, the ac hitting me in full mode. I gasp, reaching out to the duvet to cover up my scandalously ridden up clothes from tossing around, and before I can comprehend the position I am in, water comes splashing on my face. Cold fucking water. 

I jolted up, my half woken up brain freezing and my transparent t-shirt sticking to my skin. Giggles which can be heard from a devil’s spawn fills up my room as my niece jumps up and down in excitement holding a glass. She didn’t. 

My mom looks down at her granddaughter, frowning. Yes. I have my mom on my side. I don’t need… wait, is she smiling?! She pats the devil’s back and leaves with a hop in her steps. The devil incarnation follows the pursuit. 

“I will get a day too!” I shout, hastily getting down from my bed and putting my slippers in askew. “Don’t think I will ever forget this.” I hold the door, “One day I will wake up early and pour water on every member of this family.” 

My toothbrush hits square in my face, and drops to the ground. I wince at the sting on my forehead. “No one shows me an ounce of respect.” Maybe I should move away. I pick the toothbrush and saunter into the hallway. Glaring at the bright sunlight beaming through the balcony, I scratch my head. 

“This girl.” My mom booms from the kitchen, “not even an ounce of girliness in her. Did you see her hair?” 

I brush her words off and walk into the balcony hearing people yelling directions and shouting at each other. Moving trucks are parked in the narrow alleyway between our apartment building and the next building complex. Oh, new neighbors? The empty flat on the fourth floor in the opposite building has been empty for two months. It is right opposite to ours, and curiosity slowly fills me. 

Who can it be? Will they be similar to previous quarreling couples? Their fights were entertaining but disturbed my sleep quite a lot. I don’t want to go through it again, as I already sleep less because of the woman who is still screaming from the kitchen. 

What if it's someone who is hot? My hope springs up in daisies and roses. Just like the ones in movies, he will fall in love with me and then I will. After some time, we will get married and have babies. His face flashes in my imagination. Oh, no. I can’t cheat on my boy. The one who is six feet tall, slender body (my internals’ sigh), and sunshine person. 

A boy with similar features walks into the balcony of the empty flat. What universe is blessing me with a new crush? A bonus?! So kind. I grip the rod in front of me leaning further to get a clearer picture of him so I can imagine him.. My thoughts falter when he is out in rays of sun, his tan skin glowing under the sunshine, my breath hitches, he stretches his arms, his shirt sliding up a little. A sliver of his abdomen peeking out. My mouth hangs open realizing who is standing across me, and my brush falls from my mouth.

Jongin is standing there as real as a human being can. In his tracks and a plain tee. Alarms blare in my head, mission abort, abort. Run back to safety. I rub my eyes to assess my guess, that he is laughing, and he is. The sight of him laughing at my state must have kicked my legs to a start. I run back into the home, slamming the door shut to the balcony and I run to my bathroom. 

My heart’s racing a million miles. My reflection in the mirror is mocking. I look like a person who doesn’t know the meaning of hygiene or cleanliness. My hair is more of a bird’s nest and less of a hair. Universe being kind, my ass. How? How can I let this happen?

I wash my face, “can’t you do brushing inside the bathroom?” I wince at my reflection, “can’t you for once listen to your mom? If ever you did, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Someone bangs on my door. “What is your toothbrush doing on the balcony?” My mom screams from the other side. 

“I don’t know,” I shout back, turning the shower on, drowning her words.

Done with the shower I grab my phone and text the person who can help me out and even erase the memory of the embarrassing moment. I walk into the hall, and plop down on the couch.

I want to die.

-sent

Why??? What’s the reason today?

-Jihyun

Haha very funny. I told you about the empty flat opposite to ours, right?

-sent

Yes. What about that?

-Jihyun

A family was moving in. And guess who it is??

-sent

Another quarreling couple? Or a nosy aunt?

-Jihyun

I wish it was someone like that.

-sent

Stop beating around, come to the point I’ve to catch the bus.

-Jihyun

It is JONGIN’s family!

-sent

Stop playing around, I don’t have time.

-Jihyun

I rolled my eyes, why will I play now?

I’m not joking, he is, in real, literally in front of me.

-sent

My niece, Mina, snatches my phone from my hands. “Give it back, Mina.” 

Wait I can hear another giggle, don’t say it is my mom, and her over-friendliness. I snap my head towards the entrance door, the scene I am praying vigorously to never happen, is standing still in front of my eyes. When I mean ‘in front of me’ in the message is him in his flat, or in his balcony, like a metaphor. What’s wrong with my words and them coming true?

My mom is mouthing to stand up and greet, “She is my second daughter,” she introduces me, and she should. I’m not as famous as Jongin is in the University, since there is a need to introduce myself. 

“Hey,” I say with a smile, acting oblivious as nothing happened today, and I didn’t even embarrass myself, “nice meeting you.”

He tilts his head to the side a little, his eyes dancing in mischief, “I have seen her before.” There’s gentleness in his voice, like calming a crying baby. But the upturn of his mouth corners reveals the teasing. He remembers every tiny thing that happened on the balcony. The drop of my toothbrush is still ringing in my ears. “It really was nice meeting you.” 

This little shit. 

“Oh, really,” my mom is looking at us, I know she can sense the anger fuming out of me, she tries to ease the situation, “he is senior in your University, surprise, right?”

I nod, and nod, my insides fuming at his smile that’s trying to break out free. He is laughing! 

“Maybe you both can go together,” my mom says. I wish she could put a lock on her lips, “if only you don’t have any problem, dear.” 

I part my lips to answer the question thinking it was for me. Until she added that endearment. She never uses something like that to me, not even if I’m on my deathbed.

“I don’t want to cause him any trouble, mom,” I stress each and every word. She blinks, and Jongin is staring, his eyes are void of any emotion. How can I go with him? He has a gang who are all equally famous like him, and maybe he has a girlfriend.

My phone blasts off the rock song. Good timing. I turn away leaving the two and chase after my niece who is running away holding my phone, “give me my phone, Mina.”

“No.” She sticks her tongue out, sprinting around the furniture and dashes off through my mom and about to slip through Jongin. Jongin hoists up my five year old niece and boops her nose. She giggles, making him laugh. Whispering something in her ears, he frees my phone from her and hands it out to me. 

I take a shy step towards him, an overwhelming feeling consuming me. This is my first time talking to him in all these three years. It is always me watching him joke around with his friends from far away, and hoping to be a part of his circle, in his life.

Our hands brush when I take my phone. “Thanks,” I mumble, going back into my room, this moment would’ve been like fireworks going in the background, if I didn’t see him walking hand in hand with that girl.

---

“So, how do you feel about meeting your crush?” Jihyun asks, walking beside me, “was he breath-taking hot?”

“Can you maintain a little distance?” I finally stop in my steps, and she follows the same with her eyes shining bright in enthusiasm, “he is hot, he is always hot and that’s why we will know when he arrives to the university.”

Right after my words, girls started swooning and hooting, and a lot of “he is here” whispers can be heard. “See,” I pointed out how girls are ogling at him, “he is that popular, after all he is a member of the basketball team.”

“You are right,” Jihyun sighs, clutching my arm and we resume walking, “it’s hard to talk with them.”

“Correct,” I heave a sigh, the sheets in my hand are slipping away. I hold them a little tighter than before and make sure that the pencil shade won’t smudge, “let’s drool on them from here while they shine on the stage.”

Jihyun giggles, “Always,” she salutes, making me burst into laughter, “I need to go this way,” she looks at her block as if it is coming after her life.

“I’m leaving,” I wave my free hand, “where will you be after class ends?”

“Cafeteria,” she waves back, “and all the best with your professor.” 

I am walking in the group of students, all immersed in talking about the assignments, work and climate. My sheets slip away from my hand when a girl bumps into me. I collect the sprawled sheets of my drawing, telling the passer-by to watch their step. Another person is also picking up my sheets, helping me in clearing the mess.

“Thank you,” I bow, taking my drawing sheets from him and checking that all the drawings are in a presentable state, “you saved–”

My words pause in my mouth seeing his face, he is standing in front of me, Jongin is standing in front of me. And all of his fans too.

“No problem,” he smiles. I thought that was the end of this talk with him. I am walking towards my block clearing my mind, yelling to myself(inwardly; not a lunatic yet) ‘it’s just a sheet’.

“Clumsy,” Jongin whispers, walking by my side. I am blinking at him, making sure he talks, but his face is expressionless as always, I shake away the thought he is talking to me. “See you at home, clumsy.”

Jongin walked towards his block, the engineering block. I am standing where he left me. Did he just call me clumsy?

surprise surprise. I am rewriting this story (a decision took on a whim) thinking it may help in bringing me back to writing. I observed that I have changed A LOT from the time I have written this for first time. This felt like a surface level story, so I am hoping to bring more depth to it. 

And comments, upvotes helps me in staying motivated. Please leave your thoughts! Looking forward to it. 

[the-rewatch-rewind]

The final episode... for now, at least.

Transcript below the break

Hello and welcome to the conclusion of The Rewatch Rewind, the podcast where I counted down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies from 2003 through 2022. To those of you listening to this on the day it’s coming out, Happy Cary Grant’s Birthday! This felt like an appropriate day to release this fun bonus episode to analyze my list a bit more, get into some statistics, talk about what I’ve learned from this project, wrap things up, etc. If that sounds boring to you, that’s totally fair, I won’t hold it against you if you want to skip this. But before you turn it off, I want to mention that my brother Quinn, my guest from the Ella Enchanted episode, put together a “Sounds of the Rewatch Rewind” Spotify playlist featuring the songs and soundtracks from the movies I’ve talked about that he could find on there, which I’m going to link in the show notes, so now that you’ve listened to me talk about these movies, you can listen to parts of the movies themselves.

Assuming the runtimes on IMDb are correct, I spent approximately 99,258 minutes watching these 40 movies from 2003 through 2022, which is 1,654 hours and 18 minutes, or 68 days, 22 hours, and 18 minutes. So almost 10 weeks. Which sounds like a lot, but it was spread out over 20 years, so I don’t feel like that’s particularly excessive. I wouldn’t have been surprised to learn I had spent more time watching these movies. And that’s one of the main things I’ve learned from actually keeping track of the movies I watch: I’m very bad at estimating how frequently I rewatch movies. Before I started writing down what I watched, I thought there were lots of movies I regularly watched dozens of times per year, and probably several that I’d seen over 100 times. But now I know that watching a movie five times in a year can feel like a ton, and there are relatively few that I feel like sitting through more than 20 times total, let alone 100. Part of that could come from maturing, or from having a much wider array of movie choices at my fingertips, but a significant part of it is that it takes fewer rewatches than I think it does for a movie that I love to stick in my brain. There are plenty more films that didn’t make it anywhere near my top 40 that I feel like I know backwards and forwards and inside out. So I just want to reiterate what I said in the introductory episode: I don’t think these are the 40 best movies ever made, and I don’t even think they’re my 40 favorite movies. But I do love them all, and I don’t regret getting to talk about any of them.

When I first started keeping track of what I watched back in 2003, I thought of myself as someone who primarily loved “old movies,” with a few newer movies managing to worm their way into my heart. I would have expected most of my top 40 movies to be in black and white, and almost all of them to be from before 1970. But as it turns out, 18 are fully live action and in color, 16 are live action in black and white, four are fully animated, and two are a mix of animation and color live action. The breakdown of which decade these films are from tells a particularly fascinating story. Five of these movies came out in the 1930s, nine in the 1940s, three in the 1950s, three in the 1960s, zero in the 1970s, four in the 1980s, four in the 1990s, nine in the 2000s, and three in the 2010s. Which means that exactly half were from before the 1970s and exactly half were from after the 1970s. Many of the views of movies from the 2000s occurred in the first few years I kept track, so clearly the pretentious “I only love old movies” persona I tried to cultivate as a young teen was never very accurate. Stories from a variety of eras resonate with me. But what, you may be wondering, do I have against movies from the 1970s?

First of all, to be clear, there are several movies from the 1970s that I love, they just didn’t happen to make it into my top 40. But the thing about the ‘70s is… that’s when Hollywood movies became more explicitly sexy. By which I mean that after the Motion Picture Production Code was abandoned in the late 1960s, filmmakers started putting much more explicit sexual content into their movies because they were finally allowed to. Now, I’m not saying I’m in favor of censorship. I think people should be able to make movies about whatever they want, provided they’re not actively hurting people. But a lot of 1970s movies feel particularly overwhelmingly sexual to me, like Hollywood was trying to release decades’ worth of previously forbidden sex scenes as quickly as possible. And I want to be clear that I don’t necessarily think there’s anything inherently wrong with that, although I feel like it was often executed in ways that objectified women, which I do have a problem with. But I also think a not insignificant reason I’m not as into movies from that era is related to my asexuality. I’m not judging 1970s movies for having too much sex, and obviously not every movie from that decade has explicit sexual content, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the decade after the production code went away is the one that doesn’t have any representation in my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies. While movies with sexual content continue to be made long after the 1970s, it does feel a bit like once the novelty wore off, filmmakers kind of toned it down a bit, or at least incorporated it into more interesting stories. It’s kind of like when a kid learns a swear word. At first it’s like, a huge deal, and they get in trouble for using it, and then when they get older they’re like, “allowed” to swear, and they feel so cool for a while, but then it stops feeling cool and they learn how to use it more selectively and effectively. That’s how it feels like sexual content in the Hollywood film industry evolved. So as a relatively sex-indifferent asexual who doesn’t exactly mind sexual content, but doesn’t particularly like it either, it makes sense that that transition period doesn’t appeal to me as much.

And I do have to keep saying that I’m specifically talking about the Hollywood film industry because the vast majority of the movies I watch are from Hollywood. Really the only “foreign” film in my top 40 is Pride and Prejudice, and even that was co-produced by an American company. I have seen and enjoyed several films from other countries, but I could definitely watch more. There is an upsetting lack of diversity on this list: the vast majority of these films are primarily about white, straight, cis, allo, middle-to-upper-class Americans or Europeans. There are characters who don’t fit all of those, but most of them play relatively minor supporting roles in the main stories. I’m pretty sure that all of the directors on this list are white, and all of the screenwriters are at least half white, but I don’t know all of their backgrounds, so forgive me if I’m unintentionally erasing the identity of any of these filmmakers. Regardless, I definitely need to watch more movies made by people of color. As I addressed in previous episodes, only two of these movies were directed solely by a woman, one was co-directed by a man and a woman, and the other 37 were directed by men, so I also need to watch more female-directed films. The screenwriter gender breakdown is a little better, with eight written solely by women, eight written by a combination of men and women, and 24 written solely by men. I would personally love to see more movies written and directed by non-binary people, but mainstream society doesn’t seem to want to give them much of a voice, so I think I’ll have to look into more independent films to find that. The two newest movies on this list were independently produced with funds raised through Kickstarter, so I do seem to be moving in that direction, even though the vast majority of my top films were made by major Hollywood studios. I wasn’t surprised that Disney was the studio with the most films on this list, with nine – what can I say? I grew up during the Disney renaissance, I was indoctrinated. But I wasn’t necessarily expecting RKO to have the second most, with seven, considering that studio hasn’t been around since the 1950s. MGM is in third place with six, but I would have expected that to have more than RKO, considering it made a lot of classic Golden Age gems and still technically exists today (even though it’s now owned by Amazon). Over half of the movies on this list were made by one of those three studios. Again, an embarrassing lack of diversity.

I’m not sure how many LGBTQIA+ filmmakers were involved with the films on this list, since even now people don’t always feel safe or comfortable coming out publicly, and in the past it was even more dangerous to do so. However, the director with the most films on this list, George Cukor, with four, was openly gay, and as I mentioned in several episodes, sometimes movies with supposedly straight characters give off queer vibes. No character in any movie on this list is openly aromantic or asexual, but I was still able to spend a lot of this podcast talking about the ways I related to these stories as an aroace person. Since I’ve been so focused on how much I wish there was less romance and sex in movies, I thought it would be interesting to give each of my top 40 a score indicating how important romance and sex were to the story, on a scale of 0 to 3 for each, with 0 meaning there’s essentially none and 3 meaning there’s a lot. Now, I will point out that no movie on this list is rated higher than PG-13, so a 3 on the sexual content scale is still pretty mild. I also feel like reasonable people could disagree about how to rate some of these movies, so please indulge me as I go through each movie and state and briefly justify my scores.

Mary Poppins gets a zero for both, even though there is a kiss between Mr. and Mrs. Banks, but they were already married at the beginning and their relationship is far from the main focus of the story, which goes out of its way to keep Mary and Bert’s relationship platonic.

Similarly, while Emperor’s New Groove does show that Pacha and Chicha are in a loving married relationship, that’s such a tiny portion of the film that I’m also giving this one a zero for both romance and sex. So we’re off to a great start.

Legally Blonde is a bit trickier because at the beginning Elle is extremely focused on romance, but she becomes less so as the story progresses, although other characters remain focused on romance throughout. Also there are no sex scenes, but there are still some rather explicit sexual references. So I’m giving Legally Blonde a 2 for romance and a 2 for sex.

The Princess Bride has a lot going on, but the romantic love between Westley and Buttercup is consistently one of its main focuses, so I’m giving it a 2 for romance, but apart from some very slight innuendo I don’t remember any sexual content, so it gets a 0 for sex.

Frozen is another kids’ movie, so another 0 for sex, but the romance aspect is fascinating because it starts out tricking you into thinking it’s going to be very romance-focused, but ends up demonstrating that the initial romance was fake and other kinds of love are just as important, so I’m giving Frozen a 1 for romance.

Chicago is probably the most sexually explicit movie on this list, so I have to give it a 3 for sexual content, but there’s only a little bit of romance, so it gets a 1 for romantic content.

The Sound of Music has quite a bit of non-romantic stuff going on, but the relationship between Maria and Georg, and Maria’s internal conflict between wanting to be a nun and wanting to be with him, are important parts of the story, so I’m saying romance 2, sex 1.

Holiday is mostly about Johnny thinking he’s in love with Julia and learning he’s really in love with Linda. The social commentary keeps it from being a 3 on the romantic content scale in my opinion, but I can’t give it lower than a 2. I suppose sex is meant to be implied because they talk about marriage so much, but I don’t recall any specific innuendo, so I’m giving it a 0 for sexual content.

Newsies is mostly about the strike but there’s still the Jack and Sarah romance stuck in there, and the “Lovey Dovey Baby” song is pretty suggestive, so I’m saying 1 for romance, 1 for sex.

Stage Door is one of the few Production Code-era movies that actually has more sexual content than romantic content – there’s a lot more focus on potentially using sex to get ahead in show business than on romance, although there’s still a bit of romance in there too, and the sex isn’t super explicit, so I’m saying 1 for romance, 2 for sex.

Monkey Business is mostly about the formula to make people young, but that seems to manifest itself by stirring up relationship drama. The sexual aspect is mostly innuendo, so I’m going with 2 for romance, 1 for sex.

Father Goose starts out with no romance, but by the end becomes mostly focused on Walter and Catherine’s relationship, and there are some mild sexual references, so I’m again going with 2 for romance, 1 for sex.

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House is mostly about the house. There’s some minor relationship drama, but even that is more about stress caused by the house situation than actual romance, so I would argue that it only deserves a 1 for romance. I’m tempted to give it a 0 for sex, but there’s enough innuendo when Bill spends the night alone with Muriel that I think I have to give it a 1.

Adam’s Rib is another tricky one because it’s about a trial that impacts romantic relationships, but the focus is rarely on the romantic aspect of those relationships. And by today’s standards, there really isn’t that much sexual content either, although for its time it feels pretty explicit. So I’m saying 1 for romance, and 2 for sex.

Mamma Mia has enough focus on non-romantic relationships that I’m only giving it a 2 for romance, but even though there aren’t any explicit sex scenes, there’s enough talk about it and enough suggestive dancing that I think it deserves a 3 for sexual content, at least on my scale.

I know that The Lion King features one of the most romantic Disney songs of all time, but I would argue that a relatively minuscule amount of the plot is actually dedicated to the romance between Simba and Nala, so I’m giving it a 1 for romance. And despite the misinterpretation of the leaves spelling SFX as the word SEX, and the rather suggestive look that Nala gives Simba in the middle of their love song, overall I don’t think it has enough sexual content to justify a rating above 0.

Freaky Friday appears at first glance to be heavily focused on romance, since Tess is about to get married and Anna wants to pursue a romantic relationship, but it’s way more about the mother/daughter relationship, so I’m giving it a 1 for romance, and also a 1 for sex because there’s a bit of innuendo.

The romantic aspect of The Major and the Minor is weird and kind of toxic, but it’s still there and it’s pretty important, so I’m giving it a 2 for romance. Then there’s the whole Pamela assuming Phillip slept with Susan part and some sexual harassment before it was called that… it’s not super explicit but I’m still saying that’s a 2 for sexual content, at least for its time.

I argued in the Bringing Up Baby episode that I don’t really believe that the main romantic storyline is actually romantic, but the characters seem to think it is, and Susan at least is pretty focused on that, so I’m saying 2 for romantic content, and once again there’s a bit of innuendo, so 1 for sexual content.

Enchanted is very much a romantic story, so I have to give it a romantic rating of 3. And while I’d like to give all kids’ movies a sexual content rating of 0, I’m sorry, that shower part boosts it up to 1. Kids might not know they’re talking about sex, but… there’s really no other way to interpret that.

Ella Enchanted has quite a bit of romance, but the main storyline is Ella trying to get rid of her curse, so I think that keeps the romantic content rating at a 2. And again, I want to say 0 sexual content because it’s a kids’ movie, but then I remembered some of the things Char’s fangirls say and…yeah I have to give it a 1.

Notorious is ultimately a spy movie, but the spying is accomplished by Alicia seducing and pretending to fall in love with Alex, and actually falling in love with Devlin, so that sounds like a 2 for both.

It’s a Wonderful Life is about a lot of other things, but a good chunk of it is devoted to George and Mary’s relationship, and there’s enough innuendo that I’m going with 2 for romance, 1 for sex.

Again, I argued in the Beauty and the Beast episode that I’ve never seen Belle and the Beast’s relationship as a typical romance, but most characters and audience members seem to. I still maintain that there’s enough other stuff going on to keep it from being a 3, but I don’t think I’d be justified in giving it a romance score below a 2. But I’m not giving it a sexual content rating above a 0, despite what the childhood ruiners say.

A Mighty Wind is mostly about a concert, but it gets a bit into Mitch and Mickey’s romance, and there are a few sex jokes, so I’m saying 1 for both.

His Girl Friday is pretty focused on Hildy wanting to marry Bruce but still being in love with Walter, but that’s not the only thing it’s about so I’m giving it a 2 for romantic content. If you read between the lines and interpret Molly as a prostitute, I guess an argument could be made to give it a higher sexual content rating, especially because there are a few other veiled sexual references as well, but I’m sticking with 1 because it’s all innuendo.

Gaslight is an interesting one because it’s very focused on the relationship between Gregory and Paula, but it’s more about the abuse than the romance, and nobody should think of this as a romantic movie, so I’m saying 1 for romantic content, and 1 for sexual content, because while there’s nothing explicit, it is very heavily implied that Nancy is sleeping with Constable Williams.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party is quite focused on friendship, but the party wouldn’t be happening in the first place if Edgar wasn’t trying to woo Annabel, and there’s also the whole Lenore/HG Wells thing, so I’m saying 2 for romantic content. And while it’s not at all explicit for the 2010s, there are definitely some sexual references, so that’s a 1.

The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer is almost entirely about romance, so I can’t give it below a 3 for romantic content. And while the movie does make it very clear that the bachelor does not sleep with the bobby-soxer, again, there’s enough innuendo that I have to give it a 1 for sexual content.

North by Northwest is mostly about Roger trying to figure out what’s going on. While he does fall in love with Eve, for a good chunk of the movie we think she’s trying to kill him, so I don’t think it deserves higher than a 1 for romantic content. But it was fairly sexually explicit for its time, so I’m giving it a 2 for sexual content.

The Sure Thing is very focused on both sex and romance, so that one gets a 3 for both.

Ishtar has a little bit of romantic content, but it’s mostly about the incompetence of the bumbling songwriters, so I’m giving it a 1 for romantic content. But there is some nudity and rather frank conversations about sex, so I feel like I have to give it a 3 for sexual content. I actually thought Ishtar was rated R until I double checked before making that episode. It’s PG-13, but just barely.

My Man Godfrey is about a lot of things, but although Godfrey the character would prefer to keep romance out of it, Irene keeps forcing it into the story, so it gets a 2 for romantic content. And, like most movies of its era, there’s no explicit sexual content, but there’s enough innuendo to earn it a 1.

The Princess Diaries is mostly about Mia learning she’s a princess, but enough of it is about her relationship with Michael and her crush on Josh that I have to give it a 2 for romantic content. But, as my sister Rosemary pointed out in that episode, the romance is very innocent, and I don’t recall even enough innuendo to bring the sexual content rating above a 0.

The Case of the Gilded Lily mirrors the innuendo but no real sexual content of production code-era films, but with significantly less romance than most of them, so I’m giving it a 1 for both.

Top Hat is extremely focused on the confusing romance between Jerry and Dale, so that’s a 3 for romantic content, but despite the fact that their dancing has been compared to making love, I’d argue that as far as sexual content there’s barely enough innuendo to earn it a 1, let alone anything higher than that.

Singin’ in the Rain is mostly about the change in the motion picture industry from silents to talkies, but Don’s love life pulls enough of the focus that it gets a 2 for romantic content. And while there’s barely any sexual content, Cyd Charisse’s dancing is suggestive enough to earn it a 1.

I’m going to be bold and say that Clue has zero romance, because even though there is some kissing, none of it is really romantic. But most of the suspects are being blackmailed for sexual reasons, so it gets a 2 for sexual content.

While I don’t watch Pride and Prejudice specifically for the romance, I can’t deny that that’s what most of the story is about, so I have to give it a 3 for romantic content. And the whole Lydia/Wickham thing brings the sexual content score up to 2 – one could even make an argument for 3, since we do briefly see them in bed together, but I think it’s a small enough proportion of the mini-series to keep it at 2.

Similarly, The Philadelphia Story has lots going on, but it is all about Tracy’s wedding, and which of the three possible grooms she’s most in love with, so I have to give it a 3 for romance. And even though she doesn’t actually sleep with Mike, there’s enough talk about it that I’m giving it a sexual content score of 2.

To sum all that up: as far as romantic content goes, 3 of these movies got a score of 0, 13 got a score of 1, 18 got a score of 2, and 6 got a score of 3. For sexual content, 8 got a score of 0, 19 got a score of 1, 9 got a score of 2, and 4 got a score of 3. And if we add the romantic and sexual ratings together, only 2 movies got a score of 0, two got a score of 1, 11 got a score of 2, 13 got a score of 3, 8 got a score of 4, 3 got a score of 5, and one got the maximum score of 6.

So why did I go through all of that? Well, aside from wanting an excuse to go back through all 40 movies again, I also wanted to emphasize that even when you’re not interested in sexual or romantic content, it’s extremely difficult to avoid. Allonormativity and amatonormativity are everywhere. I was able to find ways to relate to these movies from an aroace perspective, but every single one ultimately leans, at least to some extent, into the pervading societal assumption that every normal human fundamentally desires a long-term, monogamous, romantic and sexual partner of the opposite sex. This is so normalized that the two movies that earned a zero for both romantic and sexual content still include romantic kissing, and while I stand by my assertion that those movies don’t have enough romantic content to justify a higher rating, I also know that if those throwaway background romantic moments had been between two characters of the same sex, a bunch of people would have made a huge deal about how the LGBT+ “agenda” was being “shoved down their throats” and “forced on their children.” You know who really shoves their lifestyle down people’s throats and forces them on children? Straight cis allos! If children’s sexual and romantic orientations could be changed just by seeing them in movies, I would be incredibly straight and allo by now. But even spending all those years bombarded with the message that normal people were like that, it didn’t make me feel attraction that my brain wasn’t wired to feel, it just made me confused. What I would love to see in my next 20 years of movie watching is more normalization of other ways of being outside of amatonormativity. Right now that’s feeling very unlikely, given the enormous backlash against LGBTQIA+ rights that is currently escalating throughout much of this country. More awareness of aspec identities has led to more explicit aphobia. But it has also led more people like me to understand ourselves better, and I would love to see that continue until acceptance overwhelms the bigotry. And that could be greatly helped by more aspec artists getting to tell their stories. I know of some good aspec representation in books and TV shows, but I really haven’t heard about much in feature films, apart from the sort of vague ace coding I’ve discussed throughout this podcast. But I would love to hear recommendations if any listeners out there know of any openly asexual and/or aromantic movie characters.

Many of the movies on this list are silly comedies, which don’t tend to be recognized by the Academy Awards, but I thought it would be fun to look into the Oscar stats a bit anyway. Of these 40 movies, 23 were nominated for at least one Oscar, and 10 had at least one win. Among those, there were a total of 98 nominations and 28 wins. The most nominations for a single film was 13, achieved by both Mary Poppins and Chicago, and the most wins was 6, again by Chicago. Two movies that were nominated won 100% of the Oscars they were nominated for: Frozen with two and The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer with one. I did go through and watch all the Best Picture, Best Actress, and Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar winners, at least up to a certain year, and those projects added to the view counts of five of the movies that made it into my top 40: Mary Poppins, Chicago, The Sound of Music, Gaslight, and The Philadelphia Story. I have considered tackling other Oscar categories, and I’ll probably make a podcast about it if I do, so that could potentially be on the horizon, we’ll see. Another movie podcast idea I have is to pick either an actor or director and go through their entire filmography chronologically and talk about that. I’m not sure if or when any of those ideas will come to fruition, but I have greatly enjoyed talking about movies on this podcast and would love to continue in a similar vein.

As for The Rewatch Rewind, I like to think that for now it will just be on a rather long hiatus rather than being completely finished. I have continued to track the movies I watch, and my top 40 has already changed in the last year, so it will be interesting to see how my movie watching continues to change in the years ahead. After I’d been keeping track for 10 years, I blogged about the 35 movies I’d seen at least 10 times, and 30 of those movies were still in my top 40 after 20 years of keeping track. The 10 new movies that were added for this list obviously include the three movies that hadn’t come out yet 10 years earlier – Frozen, Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, and The Case of the Gilded Lily – in addition to Notorious, Adam’s Rib, Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, Father Goose, Holiday, The Emperor’s New Groove, and Mary Poppins. The five movies that were in my top 35 after 10 years but were not in my top 40 after 20 were Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Neptune’s Daughter, Duck Soup, and The Phantom of the Opera. For the 30 movies that were on both lists, I still had a lot of new things to say about them ten years later. I’m not sure if I’ll wait until I’ve been keeping track for 30 years to return to this podcast, or if I’ll also do something for 25 years, but I do have every intention of returning for another season of something similar eventually. I probably won’t do the exact same thing, maybe I’ll do a top 100, or I’ll talk about my top movies from each decade or year, either of keeping track or when they came out – I haven’t decided yet. So stay subscribed or following to hear more from me in a few years – assuming these podcast platforms are still around in a few years.

Regardless of what the future has in store, thank you so much for listening to my analysis of the 40 movies I rewatched the most in my first 20 years of keeping track. Since I don’t know what movie I’ll be talking about next, in honor of his 120th birthday I’ll wrap this up with a quote that at least has been attributed to Cary Grant, although I couldn’t find where or when he said it, so maybe he didn’t, but it’s a good quote anyway: “My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.”

[anxiety-and-fandoms]

hey the little.. podcast (?) people on my dash look very interesting. so- how would one go about getting into jrwi?

JRWI (aka Just Roll With It) is an absurdly powerful dnd podcast featuring Charlie Slimecicle, Bizly, Grizzly, and Condifiction. It is also unfortunately my latest source of brainrot

(cut because I talk too much /lh)

JRWI on YouTube, along with many podcast apps/websites (I don’t know the specifics because I only use Apple Music lol)

If you have any specific TWs sometimes in the YouTube comments there’ll be a list of the TWs along with time stamps, plus you get the bonus of seeing the visual bits and sometimes art, especially in the thumbnails!

Since it is a dnd podcast, most episodes are somewhere between 1-2 hours, and as of now we’re over 90 episodes into the campaign, so chances are you’ll need to spend a lot of time catching up. As of right now they update every other week, with episodes filmed live on twitch every Wednesday and officially posted the following Friday, though later on they may move it to every week. If you want to interact with the community, be very cautious (because, well, spoilers), however I accidentally spoiled myself of a pretty major moment and I was still able to enjoy it, so you do you. Feel free to message and/or send in asks if you want to chat about it with me while watching :)

There are multiple campaigns, however only one is completely free: JRWI/Just Roll With It: Riptide, which is the one you’ve probably seen me reblog. It’s pirate-themed! There’s also JRWI: Prime Defenders (more modern/superhero-themed) and two finished campaigns, JRWI: Apotheosis (God-themed, I guess? Hard to put into words) and JRWI: Blood in the Bayou (aka BITB, which is a mini horror Call of Cthulhu campaign based in the 1970s or somewhere along that time), however all those besides Riptide are only fully accessible on the JRWI Patreon (besides the first few episodes, which are also uploaded for free)

If you don’t know anything about Dungeons and Dragons you can still definitely enjoy the podcast! The stories and characters are always very thought out and more often than not very heart-wrenching, equal parts angst and crack if you will

(though I will mention, it is run by four white Americans so sometimes the jokes are a bit yikes. nothing too bad, and nothing that seems actually ill-intentioned, but still sometimes yikes. from what I’ve heard from poc who are also fans of the show, it’s fine to continue watching as long as you’re aware of why it’s not okay, which is pretty much a good rule of thumb for most media, especially social media, in general. Just wanted you to know before you start watching)

There isn’t really that many ways to actually ‘start’ jrwi- you just pick the first episode and continue along the series! It’s up to you whether you want to start interacting with jrwi blogs and tags from the start, or wait until you’re all caught up like I did, or just share your thoughts with me if you want! You just have to take it head-on, yknow?

I do hope that you enjoy this absurdly powerful dnd podcast, my friend! :D

(p.s. noticed you liked mcyt, there’s a lot of overlap between the mcyt and jrwi community :])

[bullet-prooflove]

Can I have Dwight Hendrickson x Fem reader with the prompt "Sweetest of the sunflowers, yeah, you're the sun to me"?

Tagging@ @kmc1989 @Atrxdixs @princesschyanne @words-and-seeds @cookiedoughmeagain

Companion piece to On The Rocks

Dwight has always had nightmares. They used to be of Afghanistan, of Lizzie but more recently they’ve been about you. Or more specifically about you and Wade Crocker.

In his dreams he watches the two of you on the veranda of the Grey Gull. It starts with a kiss, Wade’s mouth on yours, his arm wrapping around your waist drawing you closer and then the knife comes out. The moonlight catches the glint of the blade before the other man drives it into your chest and in that moment Dwight can’t breathe because it’s as if Wade Crocker’s plunged the knife into his own chest and carved his heart right out of his rib cage.

On those nights he wakes up, he gathers you close, burying his face into your hair as he listens to the sound of your breathing. The sensation of being surrounded by you, it soothes him, lulling him back to sleep.

“You’re having nightmares again aren’t you?” You say later that evening when he steps out of the shower.

You’re sitting on the bed dressed in jeans and that pretty top with the sunflowers on. Dwight wishes that this was like any other night, that he could just drop the towel and climb into bed with you but he can’t because he has a meeting with the Guard in an hour over Jordan’s disappearance.

“Yes.” He says as he sits down alongside of you. “Ever since Wade Crocker came back into town.”

He doesn’t mention they started after you’d told him the two of you had slept together a few years ago, that he’s noticed that the interest Wade takes in you is practically predatory. He doesn’t want you to think he’s jealous or possessive but Christ the feeling he gets when that man looks at you…

It makes him want to commit a murder.

“How can I help?” You ask him and in that moment he almost does it, he almost tells you to stay away from that prick but the truth is, Dwight, he’s just not that type of guy.

“You already are.” He says finally, his thumb ghosting over the apple of your cheek. “You don’t realise how much sunshine you’ve brought into my life, before you everything was grey and now my world, it’s so bright and full of colour.”

His forehead comes to rest upon yours, your lips so tantalisingly close.

“I don’t want to lose that.” He whispers. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“Is that what you dream about?” You ask him, your fingertips chasing over the stubble that lines his jaw. “Losing me to Wade?”

“Let’s not talk about that.” Dwight says, his voice tight and it feels like he’s slapped you across the face because Dwight, he doesn’t shut you out. He’s always open with you, that’s why this works.

You pull away from him then and he sees the hurt cross your features as you raise to your feet and begin to shove things into your overnight bag.

“I’m gonna stay at mine tonight.” You say, your voice glacial as you sling it over your shoulder. “I’ve got some shit I need to catch up on.”

“Alex…” He says as he gets up to follow you but you’re already hurtling out of the bedroom door, slamming the damn thing shut behind you.

Love Dwight? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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[jikjinz]

Hi, me again! I wanna talk about vrvr and also go a bit into hard thought hours I hope you don’t mind 😙 I was watching a vrvr video and the way hoyoung looked at dongheon made him flustered which got me to thinking: which members do you think likes/has a thing for intense or expressive eye contact? I feel like all do but most definitely have two at the top in mind being 1. gyehyeon as I feel he loves staring intensely at you practically eating you up with his eyes alone that he’d love getting the same energy back with having you look at him eagerly; or better yet if you’re distracted by a feature of his like his Adam’s Apple or lips it drives him crazy to see you entranced but him and 2. In my mind arguably minchan (ripping my hair out I want him so bad) as I agree 100% he has a size kink that if you give him doe eyes I think he’d struggle containing himself or seeing ur dazed expression after I think he’d be a mad man 😶 I’m curious you’re thoughts!

-🐰anon

gyehyeon, minchan, hoyoung, and i'd say maybe yongseung

gyehyeon: as you said anonie he's the one to stare and eat you up with his eyes. he has such intense stare and he knows that (cocky bastard), which is why he uses it to his advantage. he's the one into mirror sex!!! try to break the eye contact while doing the deed and he'll stop his actions because he's a stupid idiot!!

minchan: agreed again with the doe eyes and size kink ehe. the moment he pushes himself slowly all the way inside and seeing your eyes rolling back at the delicious feeling is making him almost lose it all. he's the one to rest his forehead on yours and stare into your eyes while rearranging your insides. idc

hoyoung: i think he gets lost in your eyes every time he keeps eye contact with you. he could stare into the glassy with slowly forming tears eyes of your and completely forget about what he was doing and he was doing you realllyyyyyyyyy good. but the moment the catches your stare? he stops, making you even more furious.

yongseung: now here's i think it's a bit uno reverse card??? because yong seems to me like someone who would fold at the sight of your beautiful eyes sparking with excitement. bonus points if you give him head and manage to keep the eyes contact with him. he'll come undone in seconds.

tehee~~

[theaceofskulls]

Been awhile since I’ve done this, and as such two more episodes of Hammer and Bolter have come out in the interim. So you’ll be getting 3 reviews. That’s how math works, don’t question it.

Episode 12: Monsters

Can you believe we got a second Age of Sigmar episode? Wow, I’m impressed. Anyways when this was first announced with Darkoath being the protagonists and the whole “who are the real monsters?” tagline I had to admit I didn’t really care about it. This is partly because I’ve never really cared about barbarian fantasy aesthetics and the answer is always “man”, so color me surprised when this episode shot towards the top of my list of “episodes I’d recommend that you check out if you subscribe to this service to get a miniature and want something to watch”.

Darkoath as it turns out are a faction that acknowledge the chaos gods but make bargains with them rather than worshiping them. And the story of this group of barbarians fighting against the invading forces of Order is actually an interesting take on the setting’s view of who are the good guys. However it turns out that the question of “who are the real monsters” is actually more interesting than you think it would be when it turns out there is something in the burning woods that most of this episode takes place in, and what it wants is more than a little horrifying.

This one is a fantastic story that fits in the anthology rather well.

9/10, actually made me interested in a faction I’d mostly written off as not for me.

Episode 13: A New Life

A family learns that Tyranids are coming in the next couple hours and are rushing to get off the planet before the worst happens.

Look, this one is one of those ones where you know it goes one of two ways. Either it’s a kill-em-all splatterhouse slasher where you’re in it to see the dwindling cast disappear into the jaws of 40k’s overhyped always-antagonists (yes I’m am aware that people enjoy the ‘nids a lot, but look, every faction is described as the absolute greatest faction with the coolest toys. Tyranid fans, please stop pretending that your faction is going to actually destroy the universe), or it’s going to involve a genestealer twist.

However, the episode does a great job of dealing with this by putting almost every single visible character in a hat, making it impossible to tell which side the factions are on. It winds up as one of those stories that works even if you figure out what’s going on ahead of time as it hides just enough to keep you guessing, even if it tilts its hand just a bit more than it needed to a minute before the actual reveal. It also makes for a better Tyranid episode than the previous Cadia Stands.

In the end, it’s an episode that works, but isn’t as particularly haunting as some similar short stories I’ve read or as some of the others in this series alone.

7/10, I can solidly recommend it, especially to people who know less about the setting.

Bonus: Goff Rocker ‘Ere We Go

Not an episode and also not locked behind the subscription, and also kind of an advertisement, but it’s clearly made by the same team in the same style, and what the hell, I want to show it.

I mean, it’s a dumb Christmas video featuring singing orks, short shots of a bunch of other factions, and it made me want to put together a diorama by the end of it.

10/10, get stuck in (your head)

[notesonartistry]

Taylor Swift's road to fame

Behind the scenes of the teen sensation's career, from guitar lessons to sold-out shows

By Chris Willman

Updated February 05, 2008 at 05:00 AM EST

”I love turning on pop radio and hearing my song,” allows Taylor Swift, the 18-year-old country music sensation. ”But,” she adds, mindful of her base, ”I don’t look at it as crossover as much as spillover.”

Her cup definitely runneth over. In 2007, Swift’s debut album was one of the top 10 all-genre SoundScan sellers. And all those sales came in while a lot of non-country-lovers had yet to hear of her…or, if they had, were still asking, ”Taylor Swift? Who’s he?” She’s harder to escape now: Besides several smash hits at country radio, she’s moved into the upper levels of the Top 40 format with a remix of her heartbreak ballad ”Teardrops on My Guitar.” (In recent years, only Carrie Underwood, with ”Before He Cheats,” has successfully managed that leap.) MTV is even playing it. And since the album has such legs, it’s a good bet to cross the triple-platinum mark, almost unheard of in this era of plunging record sales. She’s got to be the most popular high school senior in America right now. So: teardrops, schmeardrops… Did being 18 ever suck any less?

But she wasn’t always the belle of the ball, personally or professionally; those rejection anthems she’s so adept at writing weren’t penned purely as fiction. We profiled the rising siren in this week’s issue of EW. But for this exclusive EW.com bonus feature, we also talked with some of the people who were with her on the way up, including her mother, manager, and label president, to find out some of the strategizing that went into achieving one of the last year’s few true musical success stories.

NEXT PAGE: From karaoke to Nashville

The chipmunk years. ”When I was 10, or younger than that, even, I would watch these biographies on Faith Hill or the Dixie Chicks or Shania Twain or LeAnn Rimes, and the thing I kept hearing was that they had to go to Nashville,” Swift remembers. She talked her parents into letting her fly out for a visit. ”I took my demo CDs of karaoke songs, where I sound like a chipmunk — it’s pretty awesome — and my mom waited in the car with my little brother while I knocked on doors up and down Music Row. I would say, ‘Hi, I’m Taylor. I’m 11; I want a record deal. Call me.”’ They didn’t. (But you have to wonder how many of the folks who answered those doors suddenly flashed back to that moment when they saw a grown-up Swift screaming over her Best New Artist nod at the Grammy nominations press conference.)

Rather than discouraging her, that rejection was like rocket fuel. It dawned on her that karaoke-style singing wasn’t going to cut it at any age; she needed to become a full-fledged guitar-picking singer/songwriter. ”She came back from that trip to Nashville and realized she needed to be different, and part of that would be to learn the guitar,” says her mother, Andrea Swift. Earlier, she had tried picking up an acoustic guitar and had no interest in it, but things had changed. ”Now, at 12, she saw a 12-string guitar and thought it was the coolest thing. And of course we immediately said, ‘Oh no, absolutely not, your fingers are too small — not till you’re much older will you be able to play the 12-string guitar.’ Well, that was all it took. Don’t ever say never or can’t do to Taylor. She started playing it four hours a day — six on the weekends. She would get calluses on her fingers and they would crack and bleed, and we would tape them up and she’d just keep on playing. That’s all she played, till a couple of years later, which was the first time she ever picked up a six-string guitar. And when she did, it was like, wow, this is really easy!”

She started writing, too. Two of the songs she’d recorded (”The Outside,” on her debut album, and ”Christmas Must Mean Something More,” from a Target-exclusive Christmas EP she released) were written when she was 12. When she went back to Nashville with her own songs in tow, people took notice: At 13, she signed a development deal with RCA Records, working with that label’s Joe Galante and Renee Bell, a couple of legendary figures in town. But when the deal came up for renewal after a year, she opted out, because she felt she’d have to record outside material if she got to the point of cutting her debut — and at 14, she was already married to the idea of only recording material she had a hand in writing. Not coincidentally, at 14, she became the youngest person ever signed to the major songwriting company in Nashville, Sony/ATV Publishing.

NEXT PAGE: Taking chances

Nashville acceptance, hometown alienation. Swift started to feel cut off from some of her friends, since she was writing songs while they were either playing soccer or partying. ”A lot of people ask me, how did you have the courage to walk up to record labels when you were 12 or 13 and jump right into the music industry? It’s because I knew I could never feel the kind of rejection that I felt in middle school. Because in the music industry, if they’re gonna say no to you, at least they’re gonna be polite about it.” (Being unusually tall for her age, or any age — she’s now 5’11”, without her cowboy boot heels — may have made her more of a junior high outcast.)

Now that she had publishing and recording deals in hand, she convinced her parents, when she was in the eighth grade, that it was time to move where the action is. ”I was from a small town, and nobody really expects you to leave, especially before you graduate. That doesn’t happen. I actually went back a couple months ago and played a sold-out show in my hometown, and it was amazing; ever since all this stuff started happening, the people in Pennsylvania have been the most supportive people I’ve ever known. But I wouldn’t change a thing about growing up and not exactly fitting in. If I had been popular, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to leave.”

The Swifts never pushed their daughter toward a music career, and the family uprooted itself from the Christmas-tree farm where they lived only after it was clear that her stockbroker dad could do his job just as effectively down South. ”I never wanted to make that move about her ‘making it,”’ says her mom, Andrea. ”Because what a horrible thing if it hadn’t happened, for her to carry that kind of guilt or pressure around. And we moved far enough outside Nashville [to nearby Hendersonville] to where she didn’t have to be going to school with producers’ kids and label presidents’ kids and be reminded constantly that she was struggling to make it. We’ve always told her that this is not about putting food on our table or making our dreams come true. There would always be an escape hatch into normal life if she decided this wasn’t something she had to pursue. And of course that’s like saying to her, ‘If you want to stop breathing, that’s cool.”’

After getting out of her RCA deal, Swift found a believer in Scott Borchetta, who was then a big cheese at the Universal label group. ”I thought, ‘Oh, awesome, I’m gonna get to deal with Universal!’ I get this call a couple of weeks later, after I do this showcase and Scott’s on board and everything’s rocking. He goes, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is I want to sign you, and the bad news is I’m not gonna be with Universal Records anymore.’ Because he was leaving to start up this whole new record label.” She took a chance and went with what would become a new powerhouse indie label, Big Machine, figuring that at least she’d get more individual attention there. ”They only had 10 employees at the record label to start out with, so when they were releasing my first single, my mom and I came in to help stuff the CD singles into envelopes to send to radio. We sat out on the floor and did it because there wasn’t furniture at the label yet.”

NEXT PAGE: The viral marketing plan

The MySpace triumph. Swift’s album wasn’t Big Machine’s first release, or even its first relative success. Another early signing, Texas rocker Jack Ingram, had a song go to No. 1 on the country chart — but he still didn’t sell boatloads of albums. That would be up to Swift, and her success would help little Big Machine go on to become Garth Brooks’ new label, not to mention giving Borchetta the heft to sign Jewel (one of Swift’s childhood influences) to a country deal.

”The story that everyone is gonna tell with Taylor is her use of technology and viral marketing techniques — MySpace and texting — that are non-traditional for the country format,” says RJ Curtis, country editor for the weekly trade magazine Radio & Records. ”This kind of flies in the face of how to market a new artist from Nashville. It’s partly her being in that life group and using the things teens use to communicate and spread music around, but her label had a lot of savvy in that area too.”

But Swift’s manager, Rick Barker, gives the singer and her family most of the credit for working the Web. ”The parents already had her MySpace and her website up and running,” he says. ”The mom and dad both have great marketing minds. I don’t want to say fake it until you make it, but when you looked at her stuff, it was very professional even before she got her deal. And we put her music up there on MySpace before it was out, to help decide what was gonna be on the record. ‘Our Song’ made it to the record because of MySpace.” That song has been her biggest radio hit to date — written about her first real romance, premiered at her ninth-grade talent show, and nearly lost to the cutting room floor. ”If you notice the running order on the record, ‘Our Song’ is No. 11,” the manager points out. ”It was the last song added to the album, and a lot of that had to do with buzz that was being created on MySpace.”

Once the album was actually finished and ready for promotion, MySpace came in even handier. ”People laughed at me,” says Big Machine founder-president Borchetta. ”They said, ‘You’re starting a new record label and you signed a 15-year-old female country singer — good for you! You have a teenager — there’s a lot of those on country radio. You have a new female artist — there’s a lot of those on country radio.’ They were looking at me like I had two strikes. But I knew we didn’t want to count on country radio out of the box. So we went heavy on TV, putting the video out before the single, and doing a special with [cable channel] GAC, and we went heavy on her MySpace and online stuff. By the time we got to country radio, we said: We have you surrounded and you don’t even know it.”

It still wasn’t an easy sell. ”Her records are not records that researched fantastically,” says R&R‘s Curtis — and he ought to know, because when Swift’s single ”Tim McGraw” was first coming out in late 2006, he was then the program director of L.A.’s KZLA, and one of the guys balking at putting her on the air. ”But the radio guys hung in there because anybody who’s programming a station wants to get some younger listeners. Country does a good job of naturally getting 35-plus listeners, so getting someone who fits the image of the 18-to-34-year-old, that’s an asset. There’s a need for [youthfulness] in the format. When Gretchen Wilson and Big & Rich and the whole Muzik Mafia thing came along a few years ago, I said that, for the first time since the Garth phenomenon in the early ’90s, there seems to be a real movement happening here. It didn’t last long, because it was more of a fad than a trend; Gretchen really only had that one huge hit, and while Big & Rich have continued to have big songs, it’s been with their more traditional-sounding ballads. But there is definitely a need for a younger artist, younger feel.” Curtis thinks Swift’s adolescent-themed songs have a dual appeal to older and more youthful listeners: ”A lot of the theme of the album is first love, and those are things everybody can get sentimental about, no matter the demo. With things like ‘Our Song,’ a lot of people can relate because it takes them back to their innocent years — and in her case, she just happens to be living her innocent years right now.”

Barker, her manager, offers up some specifics about how they used MySpace to make the Taylor Case to radio. ”Radio does research, and we have no idea who they’re researching, but it was saying people weren’t digging ‘Tim McGraw.’ So we had to go out and create our own research — and that’s what we did with MySpace. What she did was put up a blog on her MySpace that said, ‘Guys, I would like to thank whatever station you’re hearing my song on.’ And people started telling us” — even with stations that were only tentatively programming the song in the middle of the night. ”We were able to take those comments back to radio in individual markets and say, ‘You’re saying researching is telling you it’s not doing that great, but here are 85 people who are telling us they love your station because you played ‘Tim McGraw.’ What MySpace and online told radio stations was: She’s already familiar to your audience. And radio loves familiarity.

”MySpace allowed us to tell the story about Taylor. And it really is her space,” adds Barker. ”She wrote her bio, writes her blogs, and if someone gets commented back to, it’s from Taylor. A lot of times, you can tell it’s somebody else hired to sit there at a computer. Taylor’s space is her space — that’s our secret.”

NEXT PAGE: Embracing the fame

Taylormania. On a brisk night in late January of 2008, the nexus for all this popularity is the Rabobank Theatre, a sold-out 3,000-seater in inland California where Swift is doing a headlining show. About a third of the way back, one delusionally hopeful suitor holds up a sign with his plea: ”PROM? 343-7547.” In the front row, a college-aged dude in a cowboy hat patiently waits for a break in the shrieking before finally blurting out, with half-shy boisterousness, ”Taylor, you’re hot!” But it’s hard for a male fan to get a word in edgewise when the young women in the house spend the entire show standing and screaming, much as their little sisters would for Hannah Montana. There are enough kids and parents on hand that it’s clear she has some appeal to the Disney Channel demographic, as well as to the 17- to 25-year-olds who make up most of the audience, though she writes about adolescent romance not as an aspirant but a fellow survivor. Swift represents the countrified missing link between Miley Cyrus and Alanis Morissette.

She is introducing her soon-to-be-released fourth single, the gleefully vengeful ”Picture to Burn,” which, like many of her songs, was inspired by an old school flame she refers to as ”Bad Cheater Guy.” Swift’s so impressed by the screaming, while going into her nightly spiel about getting back at the boys who spurned her, she adds a nod to tonight’s host city. ”Please know that I try to be a really nice person, in general,” she says as her band vamps through the intro. ”But, if you break my heart, or if you hurt my feelings — or ANY OF MY FRIENDS FROM BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA — well, I will have to write a song about you!” Total eruption, as she marches across the stage in her spangly sun dress and cowboy boots, strumming on her six-string and singing: ”I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive/ You’re a redneck heartbreak who’s really bad at lying…”

Before the show, we watched her pose for photos for an hour at a meet-and-greet full of fan-club and radio-contest winners. (That’s nothing, for her; at most of the hundreds of shows she’s played so far, she stayed afterward to sign autographs till the last fan was gone, which might last anywhere from two-and-a-half to four hours. But as the crowds grow, those late-night signings are becoming increasingly more difficult to work in.) It’s clear that Swift doesn’t have the steeliness of a lot of starlets her age who were groomed for that by their parents almost from birth. Maybe because this whole massive career thing was her idea, she’s still digging it. When a little kid approaches, she gets down on her nyloned knees and cranes her neck in so that it is pressed against the tot’s. In pretty much every picture, she will look like that person’s conjoined twin. Every so often, with someone closer to her own age, she’ll say, ”Let’s do a funny one,” and urge the fan to screw up his or her face with her.

”She can’t go now to a store without having people come up to her — which she loves,” says her mom, Andrea. ”It makes her day when she’s gone somewhere and people have come up to her and said, ‘I love your music — can I take a picture?’ She’s always grabbing the camera and going, ‘Come here’ and getting the MySpace shot, holding the camera and posing together. She likes that attention. I think where she differs from some people who get to that spot and realize that they don’t really like their privacy sort of being restricted — well, for her that’s not an issue.

”But she never in her life ever said, ‘I want to be famous’ or ‘I want to be rich’ or ‘I want to be a star.’ Those words absolutely never came out of her mouth. If they had, I would have said, ‘Honey, maybe you’re doing it kind of for the wrong reasons.’ For her, the happiest I ever see her is just after she’s written a killer song. As a parent, I felt really good about that. If that’s where she draws happiness from, she’ll have that the rest of her life. She’s not always gonna have the awards, or the attention, or the celebrity, but she will always have the ability to write a song.”

”She has the combination of that 30-year-old business mentality with a real innocence,” says R&R‘s Curtis. But can country fans and programmers — who tend to be a little bit territorial — expect to keep Swift to themselves? Will the pop crossover success get to her? ”We’re talking about an 18-year-old, so it’s hard to know for sure what she’ll be doing five years from now,” Curtis says. ”But just from talking with her, I would say that her value system is a really good fit for country.” And though MTV recently did its first airing of her ”Teardrops on My Guitar” video on TRL, it did look a little bit uncharacteristically wholesome, programmed between Britney and Pitbull, so it’ll be interesting to see how things play out.

In the meantime, there’s still high school to finish up — home-schooled version, while her mom accompanies her on some dates this spring, when she’ll be opening an arena tour for Rascal Flatts. Says Swift, ”I already finished most of my course work, so I just have two electives left.” Which are? ”Public speaking and vocal performance. I guess I’m kind of coasting.”

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok whatever reception I’m on has been like on the brink of death for like the past hour or two I tried sending this in and it gave me a grey loading bar that wouldn’t move so I just canceled that and am resending it but if it somehow doubles you’ll know why SHSHSHS

Wait pause before I do anything else idk why but my tiktok link copy feature is tweaking but you NEED to watch the most recent tiktok from @/vamptombz im begging you

Ok back to the topic Nagi fr having it rough from the start at least in the end he gets to laze about LMAO

PLSLSL IM CRYING LMAO that’s kinda funny because I always like differentiation more but anyways that Barou doodle will forever be my icon now

LMAOO when you said prodigy/genius while describing sae i was alr thinking “isn’t this just nagi” HAHAH sae fr a bit crusty in the beginning but I agree i also usually like the genius trope but something about sae just doesn’t do it for me?? Maybe it’s the personality lowk sometimes he feels a little bland if ykwim

Thank god for Karasu omg the sae fans are just too strong everytime I get like a fic on my fyp (??? Whatever it’s called here) it’s usually sae or includes him and I’m like damn ok thanks ig

Wait that’s lowk kinda surprising wtf actually lowk with things like cofagrigus and spiritomb you’d and just the general idk graveyard burial stuff you’d think there’d be more rock type ghost duos (Ik spiritomb is ground and cofagrigus is just ghost but I can lowk see rock fitting them too) but yeah good to know LMAO

CRIME AU wait this is gonna be so interesting that’s also such a unique combo??? Would have never seen it coming LMAOO I also haven’t watched supernatural LOL but fr!! At least for me my reasoning is that l usually don’t go out of my way to read out of canonverse aus it’s usually something that has to catch my eye or something I can get invested into (like hollyhock LMAO and also pursuit but that’s also special because I’m also a pokemon nerd) like if it’s not a specific universe ik or particularly like either I’m not usually one to go for those first even though some of them are fire!! Forbidden love would’ve been really interesting too ig maybe people thought itd be hard to fit in maybe with bllk? Not sure tbh LMAO BUT I agree the 1k list looks STACKED also wait can we get a Mira analysis on the teams that were formed LMFAOOO

AHAHAH we summoned them by accident stop is this the universe saying something….no we will stay strong!!! YOURE SO RIGHT the entire opp squad and sae x3 omg (wait i hate how that looks because it looks like that emote with the cat face mouth but anyways) ok imagine if that one requester went with ness instead of having Karasu as an option too that would’ve been over half of them being the opp squad wait AIKU LMAOAOA no because with all of the oaeu talk he’s grown on me too just as a goofy character he’s so funny and his dynamic with other players is hilarious even though we don’t fw the stubble (it’s ok aikulations can be the oaeu exclusive bonus)

Waittt you’re so right (your inbox is gonna explode) better start thinking of another event theme LMAOO please please please more tabieitaken spotlight guys enlighten yourselves and open your eyes join us….(SAE THEME DONT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT /j)

LMAOOOOOO FATJER WHO STEPPED UP Niko comes back from his journey like “why are you in my house” and aikus like “Hey kiddo! Or should I say…son”*elbow nudge*

I can just imagine karasus look of defeat when reader brings out either one like “ugh nvm let’s get this over with”

LMAOAOAOA READER CRYING “you sounds just like my cousin when we were happy little kids” karasus like “what kid is calling others a fucking donkey????” Antibullying campaign PLEASE pursuit au has so much potential for all these goofy moments I love it sm

Imaging aegislash telling hoopa a drama epic to keep it occupied LMAO also I’m crying the hydreigon yveltal linkedin meetup imagine they’re having a coffee chat

Me I have to get slapped back into normal standards reality like wait haha 5k+ is kinda insane what was I on…anyways we should plot your wcs onto an excel graph and take a look at the trends /j also speaking of freaky Friday I’ll have you know every now and then I reread that because I’m like “this is comedy gold plus it has loser Karasu too” or when none of the tags have any activity and I feel like reading something I just grab something from your masterlist

LMAOOO aww man Barou could’ve had a buddy up in th clouds with him :( /j dw I get what you mean though LOL maybe a tiktok audio will come through again or you’ll be struck with inspiration at the gym

- Karasu anon

HAHAH i did get it twice but it’s okay dw abt it!! tumblr just randomly tweaks out ik i’ve sent the same comment three times by accident before because it wasn’t sending so i hit the button a bunch of times and then they all sent at once

HELP I WAS LITERALLY GOING TO SEND THAT TO YOU GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE it’s literally oaeu aiku and barou i’m crying

nagi fr had to play the long game…like yeah things were tough at first but he ended up w the most powerful person in the region as his wife it doesn’t get easier than that 😭 PLUS a psychic type pokémon LMAOAAO i know for a fact if he’s feeling lazy he’s just like…reuniclus…levitate my dinner over…and reuniclus is like 😄 and does it right away 😩 wait also now that i’m thinking abt it him being from aquacorde makes sense because he likes swimming (aka floating in the water) and knows a bit about fishing in pursuit so it checks out that he has that background knowledge given where he’s from 🤔 another example of pursuit fr just writing itself HAHA

NOOO another karasu anon and mira disconnect…wait actually no this just means we make up calculus together LMAOOO pls that barou doodle + justin bieber + seabird are fr my legacy atp

YES IT IS NAGI i feel like that’s why i was drawn to him in the start plus it’s much more heavily emphasized with nagi that he’s so talented and genius (and the drawbacks of that are also explored) whereas w sae it’s just mentioned and see through rin’s eyes so it doesn’t feel as immediate ig 🤔 although idk because that’s how yuta was in jjk season 1 and i liked him immediately lowkey maybe it’s sae’s fuck ass hair

PLSS sae is always included fr nagi and sometimes reo are the only non opps consistently included in those multi character fics (side note but it’s lowkey a pet peeve of mine when someone writes a half paragraph blurb and then tags it as fifty separate character…like come on now…) whenever i see karasu i’m like LET’S GO lowkey karasu in smaus especially doesn’t even feel like himself sometimes 😟 maybe it’s time for me to lock in and start posting smaus or smth HAHAHA i still look back at the two i posted for you that were hyper specific to that one au and giggle

yeah i was surprised lowkey some of the ground ghosts like golett/golurk could’ve been rock ghost tbh 🤔 and spiritomb is actually dark ghost!! which was a really good typing until the fairy type dropped LMAOO

au’s are def hard for me to get into unless they’re very well thought and well done OR alternatively super close to canon (like a “oh what if this one thing changed” or “what if they just happened not to be in bllk” type of vibe) so i get that!! i love coming up with them though and agreed pursuit is special like it’s its own thing 🤩 i do think forbidden love would’ve had to go with one of the au’s actually my mutual who requested scovillain had just listed three types in her req (fire grass poison) w barou and i had to be like ok girl pick two HAHAHA and she went with fire and grass 👆🏻 i’m trying to think of which characters would give forbidden love vibes in an au…maybe rin?? mostly because i have a megumi royal au where he’s a royal guard to a princess reader and i think rin could do that role fairly well (although he’s not as worried about duty/doing the right thing so maybe not??? ig perhaps kunigami could pull it off)…hiori could as well most likely but those are the only ones that are jumping out to me (and ofc karasu because he makes everything work my shining star 🌟)

wait do you want a team analysis on the pokémon themselves because ngl they’re kinda random 😭 or like what i plan to write for each one?? sorry this is a dumb question i’m a little slow sometimes i fear…

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING LIKE OPP SQUAD IS TOO UBIQUITOUS THIS TIME AROUND LMAOOO it’s okay we will make do and have fun regardless 😍 wait it actually literally is 6 opps and 5 side characters (and then reo HAHA he’s in the middle because i love him but he’s def more popular) okay no because i’m in the same boat like i’m still not attracted to him but he’s so funny like i just want to be his best friend who he introduces to his fine ass teammates

HELP i’ll start thinking now pls given how long it took me to come up w the 1k theme it actually might be necessary to do so 😩 PLS maybe for april fools day i should change my blog to be sae themed 😭

WAIT lowkey imagine that’s how aiku and niko meet like he’s niko’s mom’s new bf and niko has to rescue him from the runt pokémon before his mom gets back so aiku isn’t embarrassed in front of her (not that she would care) and as thanks aiku’s like “hold on lil bro i’ll set you up w a baddie my friends have a daughter i can introduce you to” and that’s how niko gets involved w nagiy/n’s daughter BUT she’s already traveling with charles so there’s lowkey that brewing and her + niko just become bffs instead (who are completing the pokédex for aiku because Niko’s mom and reader made them [i would’ve said nagi and reader but realistically nagi does not care])

LMAOAO karasu’s going on and on about how he finally beat galvantula so he’s basically the goat blah blah blah and reader’s like “oh word???” and just tosses out hydreigon and he’s like “😟😐😔” GALVANTULA SLANDER WILL NEVER BE TOLERATED

the pokémon at the wedding are so silly because aegislash is just telling hoopa the plot of the entire isekai manwha that it forced reader and nagi into, hydreigon is networking w yveltal, xerneas is at the buffet for some reason, houndoom keeps howling because she misses her brother, garchomp and nidoqueen showed up in a matching tux/dress combo?? chosen by karasu himself like truly it’s insane 😭

HELPP NOT EXCEL is the women in stem coming out of us today…is this where we confess that we both have side gigs as math marchionesses and programming princess…but omg loser karasu my beloved lowkey between bfb and fwtkac i forget abt freaky friday but it was so silly and goofy i will always love that line where reader is going on an internal rant and she ends it with something like “am i supposed to aim when i take a piss or is this a freestyle thing” FJSKDJSJ tagging that fic was so funny because like karasu’s dick is brought up more than once so i had to mention it but like i had to double down on the “this is NOT smut this is NOT explicit it’s just relevant to the humor” because i’m a mostly no-nsfw blog so i didn’t want people to think i was breaking that streak 😩

JFDJHSHS time to kill someone else off in pursuit so barou’s not alone in heaven i vote aiku (jkjk we need aiku to be niko’s stepfather…if it has to be someone let it be otoya 🙏🏻 cause of death karasu crashes out after he endangers reader’s life AGAIN in order to get a girl’s number)

all of the tik tok audios i’ve been getting have just been giving me more pursuit ideas LMAOOO but ig a win is a win 🤔⁉️ since it means more pursuit content and all