#i watched last night and my god it was SO ugly lmaoo

[lastonthebrakes]

the knicks - cavs series is meeting the expectations of being the most interesting one so far imo

[abortionado]

Maybe a moreid based of this quote “You never meant for it to end this way right?”

Lmaoo so naturally I got carried away and this is actually like, many words and not 500 anyway

tw for drug use

If there were really a Hell, Derek is convinced that it’d look a lot like the detox unit at the  Quantico hospital. 

It’s an ugly place—peeling, water-stained wallpaper, an overpowering stench of Lysol wipes and bleach, sterile but not pristine or well-lit like the one up the interstate in DC—and even just walking down the hall, before he so much as lays eyes on Spencer, the absolute misery of it all is suffocating.

He’s alone. 

The first time Spencer overdosed and had to spend two weeks detoxing, the whole unit had accompanied him down this hall. 

After all, the addiction was hardly Spencer’s fault, and none of them had been helpful about it, so their collective guilt compelled them to the hospital. 

Some days, they took turns visiting him one-on-one, and some days, they’d gather around and bicker like a mildly dysfunctional family as they tried to pick a movie to distract Spencer from his withdrawal pains, but Derek was always there. 

Penelope made a garland of pressed flowers and draped it across the dresser in the corner of the room. Prentiss snuck Spencer some real coffee (they told her she couldn’t have outside containers with her, but she flashed them her FBI badge, which didn’t make sense but seemed to do the trick anyway), since he was only allowed to have decaf while detoxing. Hotch (who, Derek remarked to himself at the time, must have an EQ of approximately 1) was as unflinching as usual, but burst into the room almost daily to let Spencer know that he had Diana on the phone, which was his extremely detached way of apologizing from the bottom of his heart. JJ brought photos to tape to Spencer’s blank, ugly walls. She wrote NEVER FORGET: THE BAU LOVES YOU :)! in the middle of a large posterboard and taped it directly across from his bed.

(See that, Spence? Now you’ll have to think about that every morning as soon as you wake up and every night right before you go to sleep, she told him.)

After everyone else had left each day, just before the hospital locked down and visiting hours ended, Derek would sit by Spencer’s bed and hold his sweaty, shaking hand. (These were his favorite moments—Spencer was relaxed around him, and he’d always loved hearing what was on his mind.)

I feel loved, Spencer would tell him.

You are.

I want to get better. I have to get better. 

You will. 

And for a while, it almost seemed like he would. 

It seemed like he did, in fact, until Derek found him convulsing on their bathroom floor. 

That time, there was no outpouring of love in the hospital room. There were no posters or garlands or contraband caffeine. 

Derek still stayed with him as much as he could. As much as it hurt to see his beautiful boy in so much pain, he always went to him after work, holding his trembling hands and eyeing the angry red track marks that littered his thin, pale arms. (He hated looking at the injection sites. He kissed them and halfway hoped that when he pulled his lips away, they’d somehow be gone.)

When the team came to visit, they were always quiet. Pensive. Sad. 

Hotch visited Spencer only once, to let him know that he would be relieved of his duties immediately, and he needed to turn in his gun and badge as soon as he was discharged from the hospital.  

I’m disappointed in you, Reid, he said, but even more disappointed that I let you turn out this way. You had so much potential. 

Spencer cried himself to hiccups for three days, but Derek couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry for him. 

That second overdose ate away at them. 

The safe, domestic space they'd intentionally created for themselves away from the violence of their work had been violated—by both broken trust and the overall trauma of the overdose at home—and their house was not the peaceful, welcoming home it had once been.

The tension in which they lived now was nearly intolerable, but sometimes, when Spencer would fall asleep on the couch curled up against Derek’s chest, or when he’d wrap his arms around Derek’s neck in the shower and hum contentedly as he washed his hair, he hated himself for even thinking of abandoning Spencer. These were moments when he was very much still the sweet, passionate, awkwardly affectionate Spencer Reid he’d fallen in love with three years ago, and Derek couldn’t bring himself to drive those moments out of his life. 

It wasn’t until Spencer started using heroin that his habit really, truly became intolerable. 

Dilaudid, created in a lab, tested and approved by the FDA, is expensive. Far too expensive for someone without a job. 

Heroin, however, mixed god-knows-where with god-knows-what by god-knows-who, is cheap. (Not cheap enough that Spencer doesn’t have to steal money and pawn off the heirloom watch he got from his grandfather, but still far cheaper than Dilaudid.)

Derek figures it out when he finds a broken water balloon buried in their bathroom trashcan. 

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I don’t know. I’m sorry. 

Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?

Yes. I know. Derek, I’m sorry—

Are you insane? “Sorry” is not good enough anymore, do you understand that? One of these days, you’re gonna wind up face-down in a ditch and I’m not gonna know what happened to you. I can’t fucking take that.

I—

Last chance. Last chance to take this seriously. I’m taking you to day treatment one more fucking time and that’s it. You choose. You can choose me, or you can choose this shit, but you can’t have both anymore. 

Naturally, Spencer’s third overdose hasn’t found him well. 

Derek’s so familiar with the Quantico hospital’s detox unit by now that he doesn’t even have to be shown to Spencer’s room. He declines the offer to be shown around, and the nurse, who recognizes him, gives him a pitying look. 

He navigates the hall completely alone—no nurses or teammates by his sides.

When he opens the door, Spencer is sitting upright in bed, holding his face in his hands. 

Derek wordlessly pulls the chair in the corner of the room up to his bedside. 

“You know what I’m about to say to you?” 

“Yes,” Spencer whispers. “You never meant for it to end this way, right?” 

“Right.” 

They sit in thick, painful silence for a moment. 

“I love you,” Derek says eventually. “I don’t want to, but I do, and I’m probably gonna love you for the rest of my life. I gave you a choice, remember?”

“I…I know.” 

“Right. And...you made your choice. But…if you ever change your mind, if you…get clean, and you make a different choice, I’ll still be here, okay? My number will stay the same.” 

Spencer’s face crumples, and he begins to cry freely, chest heaving, tears falling rapidly down his hollowed, gaunt cheeks. God, he must be thirty pounds underweight. 

For just a moment, Derek feels the urge to wrap his arms around Spencer’s shaking shoulders and wipe the tears from his beautiful brown eyes. He wants to comfort him, make him feel safe and loved the way he used to before narcotics took the job. 

Instead, he stands up, turns his back on the love of his life, and prepares to face a life as lonely and desolate as the halls of the Quantico detox unit.

[patchofsunlight]

Thank youu 🥰. Oh haha this assingment is for my other class (challenge and change in society) I knew something was due soon but I didn’t know it was coming up oops

Yess ofcc!! I’m gonna finish up my homework for the day soon and watch like 2 more eps!

I don’t like naps 😩 ah my mom had work until 8 by the time she came home I was still working on homework so we kinda started later than usual lmaoo. But at least it only took us 5 hours this time 😂

The only good thing I can think of that’ll come out of putting in lots of effort for school is being able to get into good schools!! So there’s that I suppose!

MOOD. At the beginning of quarantine I tried running on this treadmill we have and I kept it up for 3 days and then gave up 😂 so like don’t push yourself to do it if you don’t want to, but if you do then you could try looking at exercising in a different way. Like tricking yourself or like rewarding yourself? Sometimes when I don’t feel like doing something that I know I need to do I’ll treat myself to like a cookie or smt to have something to look forwards so once its done lmaoo.

Ohh okok! I’ll download it then! I just read the update and I LOVED it!! I love the girls friendship they’re so cute 🥺 looking forward to seeing what happens next!! loll idk why I thought maybe we’d have a few more days of warm weather but no I guess we’re just plunging straight into fall weather 😂

ITS SO SCARY. I don’t like it one bit. But I have to get my g2 before my bday in January or else I’ll have to retake the g1 cause I waited too long cause I was scared 😂 aw thank you!! I’ll let you know how it goes! Thank you!! My mom bought so much stuff and we were just looking at it and everything’s so small and cute 🥺 idk why but babies make me nervous. Like idk what to do around them lmao

YESS I saw!! I also went on tumblr on my computer earlier and looked at your page and it looks AMAZING!! Idk how I didn’t see it before today ❤️ yess you should be very proud of yourself!! Aw did you end up finishing the rest of the requests??

The rest of my day is going fine! Gonna do a little bit more hw and then call it a night loll

How did the rest of your day go? Do you have any plans for tomorrow? -🌙

you have too many assignments i declare this: unfair

DID YOU WATCH IT??? if you did please tell me everything about it please

i LOVE naps i’m SO tired ALL THE TIME last night i went to sleep so early because i was so tired and then i woke up almost 12 hours later. exhaustion? she’s a part of me

you’re right but UGHHHH

NDJWKDKWK EXERCISING IS SO BORING OKAY IM SORRY I TRY BUT. SO BORING btw how is your yoga going???

YES I LOVE THE GIRLS FRIENDSHIP TOO IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!! i’ll try to update soon but i don’t when oof lmao and bro it’s so so so hot here rn i swear to god i can’t TAKE IT

i- what’s a g2?? i’m sorry i have no idea fmwkxowkzkwoaj anyway i hope everything goes well!!! i’m sure it will, you work super hard and that’s gonna be acknowledged!!! also MFJWIXKWK MOOD i look at babies and i’m like oh no what if i HURT IT i get nervous too

IT DOES DOESNT IT DMWKDOWO I SPENT SO LONG MAKING IT PRETTY AND IT TURNED OUT BEAUTIFUL IM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF thank you so much moonie you’re 🥺🥺🥺 BABY!!! and no i didn’t 😬😬😬 i went to sleep early because i was too tired and today i woke up so late lmaooo then i watched the finale of the 100 and now i’m getting ready to go out!!! i’m gonna. go see my ex and i don’t know how to FEEL but it’s alright it’s okay everything’s FINE we broke up peacefully even tho i ghosted him so im not,,,, worried i’m just NERVOUS but it’s fine it’s okay

AND MOONIE!!! I SAW YOU CAME TO PLAY AMONG US WITH ME JENNY WAVE AND CANELA LAST NIGHT!!!! IT WAS SO FUN we were on a discord call and i was so nervous because my accent is ugly but it was super fun and they were all very nice so 🥰🥰🥰 and i LOVED playing with you YES

i hope you had a great day!!! tell me about it when you can!!!

[princess-cordelias-writingblog]

So Far Away -Five. (Nolan xReader)

A/N: This is the second time i try to post this things eye- 

Anyway, in case you couldn’t tell I messed up the timeline and let’s just pretend Nolan found out about Liam’s ability in a different way okay? k’, you’ll know what I’m talking about when u see it lmaoo also, I won’t follown the plot of the show exactly as it went partly cause I don’t remember well and I don’t have the time to rewatch it all, still I hope you like it tho! 

P.S. Also, what do you guys think about doing blurb nights? or drabbles? I just want to interact with you more ^-^ they’d be about all the fandoms I have on my bio obvsly, not only teen wolf lol let me know what you think! :D -Danny

Words: 1,745

Warnings: bad writing my dudes. Also a bit of blood.

Pt.4

missing you is a slow burn Every time the earth turns I'm reminded that night is only half the time

The next week went by slowly, from one class to another Y/N was forced to stand there and have nothing but a glance from Nolan every time he walked past. He wasn’t his old self anymore, dry and rough he was nothing but a shadow that followed those boys around. 

One day she decided to pay him a visit, he said they weren’t dating anymore but he never mentioned anything about not being friends and the girl was holding onto that little gap, hoping it wasn’t a bad moment Y/N knocked on his door but no one answered. She knocked a few more times still with no reply. Disappointed she turned around and walked towards the street when a noise on the second floor caught her attention.

Nolan was there, looking directly to Y/N. He wasn’t exactly intimidating, but what scared her was that she couldn’t read his expression.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” He asked without moving.

“I-I just wanted to talk,” She rubbed her hands to get away from the cold, it was almost night time and she’d brought nothing but a thin blouse and a pair of jeans, naively trusting he’d let her in, “Can I come in?”

“I’m... I have homework,” He replied, and just then Y/N saw something close to worry.

“Me too,” She smiled shyly, “maybe we can finish all faster together?”

“I don’t think is a good idea Y/N, I don’t wanna get distracted but... t-thanks, see you,” Without waiting for a reply, Nolan stepped back and closed his window, Y/N didn’t even get the chance to wish him a good night.

Walking back to her car it felt like a bizarre walk of shame, and Y/N wasn’t exactly the type to give up to things she cared about just like that; in her mind a plan was already forming, she had nothing to lose at that point, and her friends could say she was overreacting and that she should let him go and move on. If it had been any other guy, maybe she’d have agreed with them, but this was Nolan, the same boy she convinced to join the lacrosse team. The same team that helped him beat up innocent kids like Liam and she had to do something about it.

She drove through the streets still distracted by her own thoughts, the town was quiet that night and it was lacking the usual traffic, not that she minded, all she wanted after her disappointing evening was a warm shower and her bed. Maybe snacks. And binge-watch romantic movies so she could finally sink in the miserable feeling around her chest.Y/N drove in silence until Muse ave came into view, a few cars were parked in the middle in the street and people stood around curiously. Assuming it was a car accident, Y/N slowed down, from her side she was the only car, so she could see the scene in front of her. What she saw would change her life forever.

Two bodies covered in blood were laying on the ground, standing in front of them, there was a person. Or at least it looked like one for the most part, it had to legs and two arms, though those arms ended in big, ugly hands with massive claws, and the face was covered in thick hair and his eyes had a golden, savage glow. Not to mention the gigantic fangs coming out of the mouth. 

She had to be dreaming. She was totally dreaming, right? There’s no way that was actually happening, there in front of her. A... a big dog-person growling in the middle of the street.

Then the person turned around and he recognized him. Liam.

“Oh my god,” She gasped, her voice muffled by the hand that went up to cover her mouth in shock.

Nolan’s voice came back to her, almost as if he knew what she was looking at right on that moment.

“You have no idea of what he is, what he is capable of!”

She sees it now, in all his scary glory she sees what Liam is and she wants to lock herself in the nuthouse just for thinking about it. Liam’s a werewolf.

The thing is, even now that she sees his true form, for her Liam still looks... like a scared boy. She can see it on his body language, the way he’s ready to attack but not because he wants to, it’s because he’ll do it if he feels like he needs to.

And what about the bodies? They aren’t mangled, their clothes are okay and the blood is coming from their heads, like someone hit them hard. 

Like a car just ran them over.

She finds it quickly, the blood all over the front of the car of that man. And he’s fine, he doesn’t look scared, in his eyes, Y/N sees a sickening warmth, like he’s pleased with his actions.

Hidden in the boy’s chest she sees it: the girl’s hand. Although is not a normal hand, it has claws. What did they do to be killed in such a cold manner? They were kids. Couldn’t be older than her and Nolan. And still this man decided to finish them off simply cause they were different. 

Granted, it was a terrifying look, a scary kind of different. But she had talked to Liam before, she saw him getting beaten up for the exact reason this man killed his friends and Liam never tried to fight back, for all she knew, they were the real victims.

It was then that even against her better judgement and all that scary movies ever taught her about monsters that she made a decision. 

“Liam!” Almost as if things weren’t weird enough, Scott McCall appeared followed by a girl she remembered as Malia from school. She didn’t know from where did they come from but it didn’t matter, apparently, they knew about Liam’s condition cause they walked straight towards him and surrounded him so no one could see his face. Unfortunately, they were now trapped inside the circle of curious people, and Scott looked around, they had nowhere to go. Or so they thought.

“Scott,” Y/N got out of her car and spoke loud enough to get the young man’s attention, “hey, McCall!”

He found her in the middle of the mess and his eyes went wide, surely thinking she was about to freak out and attack them. “Y/N, I’m sorry-”

“Get in the car,” she cut him out, very aware of the looks people were giving her.

“You’re not gonna let them get inside your car with that... thing, going with you, right?” A woman asked from her left.

“I’m sorry, but last time I checked that ‘thing’ was a human being and the people with him were too”

“They’re monsters!” The man in front of her, the same that had killed the other two spoke up, “they’ll kill us at the first chance”

“You’re crazy,” Y/n replied in disgust, “can’t you see what you did? You killed them! They were kids!”

“Monsters!” Repeated the stranger, and the crowd joined, screaming threats to Liam, who was still covered by Scott’s body.

“Scott, I won’t repeat myself” She insisted harshly, opening the back door of her car and stepping aside so Scott could put him in.

“Thank you,” He sighed, and the three of them quickly got into the car and shared no words while Y/N heard a woman next to her calling an ambulance for the other kids that laid inert on the ground.

Y/N went back to the car and turned on the engine once more. She didn’t look back until she left the busy street, and even then a few minutes went by before she realized she had no idea where she was going.

“D-do you want me to drop you all off at your place?” She asked Scott, her voice now a lot shakier than before.

“No, take us to Liam’s”

“Alright,” She replied, still shaking, “Can someone tell me where’s that?”

Scott proceeded to give her directions until the house came into view, she parked right outside the house and watched as Liam and Malia got out of the back.

Liam glanced at her with fear, and she wanted to let him know that it was okay, that she didn’t judge him or that she wasn’t afraid. But it was a blatant lie. She was scared shitless and she had no words for what was going on. Y/N was in for big, big trouble.

“You can go home now,” Scott told her once his friends were away, waiting for him at the doorstep.

“You don’t need a ride home?” She inquired, trying to sound as calm as possible, “I mean, a bunch of people just saw you walking out next to... him, you could be in danger”

“Believe me, I’m used to it by now,” He gave her a sad smile.

“I insist”

“Why?” Scott eyed her up and down, a frown now appearing on his face, “you saw what happened there, right? How come you’re not screaming and running for your life”

“Because, like you said, I saw what happened. And they didn’t have the fault. Liam isn’t dangerous”

Scott nodded, She saw his train of thoughts going for a few seconds before he spoke up again.

“Fine, give us five minutes and you can drop us at my place”

“Okay,” Y/N sighed, finally letting go of the steering wheel, not even conscious that she was holding to it like her life depended on it. “I’ll be here”

“And Y/N?” He added once he was out, bending a little so he could see her through the window, “thank you for helping”

“Scott?” She didn’t want to ask the next question, but she had to, if she wanted to save Nolan, she had to know everything, “the reason why Nolan and those guys were beating Liam up that other day... was it because they knew what he was?”

He hesitated for a moment but after sharing one look, he couldn’t lie.

“We think so,” And with that he walked towards Liam and Malia, leaving Y/N with a pit in her chest.

If she didn’t stop him before things went too far, Nolan was going to make some huge mistakes.

_______________________________________

Taglist: @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @im-planning-something-look

[peachyuns]

soulmate!jaehyun

i looped no more dream and first love to write this . i

prompt: “soulmate au where you hear background music for the most important parts of your life, and when you meet your soulmate it’s dramatic and romantic music”

WELL

as a kid, you never really understood the whole “soulmate” concept

so when music would just randomly play when you’re 2 seconds away from fighting some kid for stealing your banana milk

more specifically, “the final countdown”

you’d be completely confused

and you couldn’t even be sad whenever your little goldfish die bc weird, dramatic ass music would just start playing as you’re getting ready to flush it down the toilet and ?? w hy

“do u hear the creepy music???? we probably shouldn’t go into the forest at like 2 in the morning?????? we are going to die”

you didn’t understand it until you were 17 and it happened

you were with your best friend and all of a sudden she just started to look around all confused???

“do you hear that”

“hear what”

“the fucking music!!! what is that”

“r u taking xanax or”

“nO THERE’S MUSIC”

and then all of a sudden a girl comes out and she’s also looking around all confused

and it’s like

“oh”

“i think it’s-”

“oh my god, that’s whose ass i’m gonna be eating for the rest of my life!”

“huh???”

“soulmate!!!!!!!”

so after that

you finally understand the whole music concept

and even when you’re in college

and failing like half of your tests

you’d just be sitting there and all of a sudden sad music would start to play and it’s like “o thx for reminding me that i literally got a 30% on this test yes”

and at your first college party

some cute guy keeps looking at you

and when you make eye contact Sexy ;)))))) music starts to play

so you’re like Yeet lmaoo

you also go through that short “i’m never gonna find my soulmate” phase

and the point in ur life that is just filled with misfortune lmaoo

“will i ever be able to hear happy music again what is going on”

so to make yourself feel better

you start going to this one bakery that has really fucking good chocolate cake every day

and you meet a couple of boys that are just rlly fuckin wild and weird and funny

and you spend a lot of your time there with them

“johnny have you found your soulmate????”

“found them when i was like 7″

“i’m literally fucking 21 and i haven’t found them yet i’m going to be alone with my 12 dogs forever :(((((”

“no u won’t be alone!!!!! you’ll have ur 12 dogs!”

you don’t even have time to say anything bc crazy action music starts to play

and you’re like are you fuckin kidding me lol

and you look over and there’s like a big ass fire in the back

“uhhhhh johnny?????”

“o shit”

“yeah”

but!!! then

romantic music starts to play at the same time

“this is rlly about to happen right now huh”

once you and everyone are out of the building and like firefighters are called jdhfhdjdfh

you bump into someone

yay surprise it’s jaehyun

and you’re literally getting a headache from the loud action music and then the cute romantic music playing at the same fucking timekfjfjhg

mood honestly

but he starts to hear the music too

and he’s just trying to pay attention to you and not the fire behind you but u know it’s a little fucking difficult

“do you think maybe we can like postpone this bc there is a fire right over there and i’ve been having a shitty month where have u been mr”

he’s kind of just like “well good luck to me my soulmate is a mess lmao”

“sorry???? um-”

“there’s no time for talking right now give me ur number so. i can incessantly bother u”

he just feels like he has no choice you’re literally so fucking demanding fjhgfhdsj

“take a cute fucking picture too i like ur face”

“ok fuck- just calm down for a second”

“you don’t tell me what to do you left me out here like an idiot for 21 years”

“aren’t we both at fault for not finding each other sooner”

“no just you, now give me my phone”

he’s just left standing there while he watches you leave

“what the fuck even just happened”

so you go home all angry

and your roommate is just like oh fuck No i’m not abt to deal with this

“tAEYONG I FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“found what”

“my soulmate u dickhead”

“name?”

“it says jaehyun in my phone”

“oh hey, i know him!!!!”

“w hat”

“yeah he literally went to college with us dumbfuck”

so that same night you call him

bc he’s ur soulmate u can do whatever the fuck u want

“took you long enough to pick up ugh”

“it rang once before i picked up what do you mean???”

“anyway we’re going on a date tomorrow”

“that was quick”

“quick??????? we are soulmates, my dude”

“pizza then??”

“i’m in love with you jaehyun”

“anyway”

so the next day you get ready to go on your little date with jaehyun

and in all honesty, he doesn’t know what to expect bc he didn’t think his soulmate would be like………………….you

he just caught you at a bad time in your life lmao

“i’m surprised he still wants to go on a date with you after all of that”

“ugh u right i’m a fucking mess what business do i have going on a date with an actually really cute boy and suddenly i’m nervous!!! fuck you taeyong”

“i’m moving out. right now”

“you do that”

okay anyway so like you drive to the pizza place

bc you refused to have jaehyun pick you up

and you’re nervous but you’re also not bc you’ve been through some shit already

like you literally met your soulmate??? while the bakery you were in was on fire???

what else could go wrong

so you go inside and then the romantic music starts to play again

“is it gonna do that every time we see each other”

“i fucking hope not….. unless they start playing the grammy worthy song dedicated to jesse ‘he could be the one’ by icon hannah montana”

“jaehyun what”

“nothing let’s just sit”

he kind of just sits there looking all cute and dumb

and so are you lmao

“how are you?”

wrong question!!!!!!!

“how aM i?? i have been miserable for the last 2 months and then the universe just decides to throw you at me while there’s a fire going on and it’s a mess, everything is a mess!!! you’re really cute and stuff and it’s like oh maybe the universe made a mistake bc there is no way a boy as cute as you is my soulmate i’m literally going to Combust”

“oh no please don’t cry! i’m sorry i couldn’t find you earlier- oh god there’s snot, okay”

he’s panicking and you’re ugly crying and the rest of the customers are just like lol wtf

he has to pull you out of the restaurant to save you from more embarrassment and then all of sudden he’s hugging you and it’s like ?? wow comforting

“god dude i’m really sorry, i ruined the date and you have such a weird soulmate and ?? why”

“hey it’s okay!!! i hope this doesn’t make you cry even more but it was pretty entertaining how you yelled at me the first time we met and i don’t know. you’re cute and a wreck and yeah”

“i don’t know if i want to punch you in the throat or like kiss you but yeah okay”

“well the day isn’t over, and honestly i already know i’d like to do this with you again… so”

you don’t know if your face is all red from you crying or how sweet he is but ugh fucking Superb

“oh that sounds nice. i promise i won’t cry next time, hopefully”

n he’s just staring at you?? with a tiny smile on his face

and he finds you so endearing

and you’re getting butterflies but ohmhfjdhf

and it’s awkward but a nice awkward and wow????

“will you like… stop looking at me like that”

“like what?”

“i don’t know”

“like i think you’re absolutely adorable?”

“yeah….”

“no, bc i do”

[sunatooru]

update: i didn’t end up spending last night drinking tea, reading and watching a movie bc i had such a long depression nap (w the lights on) that i just didn’t wanna wake up NSNSJSKS ugh i was so upset so i fell asleep at like 7pm and slept in till like 9am 🤡 N E WAYS it’s okay tho bc it’s currently 10:50pm and my parents are upstairs going to sleep and i have a hot chocolate, tea is steeping, a book by my side, headphones (for my audiobook), and i’m about to turn on a movie (i’m still not sure what). i got my mum to take the pics for me before she went to bed and i’m much happier w them than the other ones (i still feel like i look so ugly but i can’t do much about my overgrown eyebrows w the beauticians closed bc ✨lockdown✨ and i always look chubby anyways bc that’s just how i look) so yeah whatever i’ll submit my first part of project hush hush tomorrow bc the pics finally look good enough to be assessed AHAHA also i’ve never watched khabi khushi khabi gham!! i would bc everyone loves it but aus netflix doesn’t have it :’( the hollywood movie i was thinking of watching was chalte chalte bc idk it looks good and it has shah rukh khan in it so like why not but idk if i’m in a bollywood mood rn 😭 idk i’ll update later (hopefully w a movie i acc watched) anyways update me on you too, how’re you feeling sickness wise? and how’s work going, considering you’re not well? - 🕯

Sometimes a depression nap is sooo much better 😭 damn lights on too 💀 I get that lmaoo but atleast you can do that al now haha and omg you haven’t??? U NEED TO like pls it’s such a classic and aus Netflix needs to supply better! But chalte chalte is a good film too (my mum loves shah Rukh Khan) but like yesterday you could always watch a studio ghibli movie

I’m glad you prefer the new photos tho for project hush hush and oof overgrown eyebrows I felt that wgahdlg thank god I kinda know how to do my brows over wise it would be a mess haha but I’m sure you look so good😍 and I will not listen to anything against that :/

Update on my cold: I could breathe today in the morning (used up a while toilet roll but not important lol) I think I’m gonna be good so I’m feeling better and yeah I don’t think I’ll go in this weekend and they would probs send me home anyway 🥲 BUT I’ve been watching inuyasha as confort anime lmao and I just got my grad pics (not too bad a lil shiny but what can I do :( but it’s fine) okay anyways I hope you pick a film and enjoy relaxing 😂

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

[jxkewxrd]

200 Things About Me

200: My crush’s name is: John. (Fischer) @fxscher
199: I was born in: 1999
198: I am really: fucking fun 
197: My cellphone company is: Verizon
196: My eye color is: Brown
195: My shoe size is: depends on brand. Nike: 15 Adidas: 14 
194: My ring size is: idfk lol
193: My height is: 6’ 2’’
192: I am allergic to: poison ivy 
191: My 1st car was: 2001 toyota camery
190: My 1st job was: Dishwasher at a Buffett Restaurant 
189: Last book you read: The Soloist 
188: My bed is: comfortable 
187: My pet: my dog, Harlee
186: My best friend: @fxscher also my boyfriend
185: My favorite shampoo is: well my mom does hair so idk
184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox all the way
183: Piggy banks are: overrated 
182: In my pockets: are black holes
181: On my calendar: blank months
180: Marriage is: a huge goal of mine and im so excited for it
179: Spongebob can: run me over in his boat and i would thank him 
178: My mom: is the best in the world even tho we have many disagreements. Love her
177: The last three songs I bought were? None bitch tf i have spotify premium 
176: Last YouTube video watched: uhm for sure the music video for camp rock “we cant back down” 
175: How many cousins do you have? Bitch i don’t know, a lot
174: Do you have any siblings? Twin brother. Little brother. Little sister. 
173: Are your parents divorced? Nope
172: Are you taller than your mom? For sure
171: Do you play an instrument? Do i look like a band/orchestra kid lmaoo
170: What did you do yesterday? I don’t even remember what I did 20 min ago stop

[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: of course
168: Luck: yes
167: Fate: yes
166: Yourself: uh yes bitch
165: Aliens: universe is too small to not believe
164: Heaven: YES
163: Hell: Eh
162: God: OF COURSE 
161: Horoscopes: yes
160: Soul mates: yes
159: Ghosts: yes
158: Gay Marriage: im gay so yes hoe
157: War: uh yeah 
156: Orbs: yes
155: Magic: yes duh

[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: both bitch
153: Drunk or High: why not BOTH 
152: Phone or Online: online
151: Red heads or Black haired: neither lmao
150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes but im gay so
149: Hot or cold: bitch. Hot for sure but christmas isnt christmas without cold weather 
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: here in ohio we call it “fall”
146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 
145: Night or Day: both
144: Oranges or Apples: apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: dont care
142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdicks bitch
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: is that racist😉 jk but forsure white chocolate 
140: Mac or PC: MAC
139: Flip flops or high heals: neither lmao
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: how and RICH AND SWEET fuck the sterotype 
137: Coke or Pepsi: COKE-aine 
136: Hillary or Obama: obama lol
135: Burried or cremated: uhm idk idrc i lowkey wanna be cremated and thrown in the ground with some tree seeds 
134: Singing or Dancing: both
133: Coach or Chanel: chanel
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they
131: Small town or Big city: big city
130: Wal-Mart or Target: target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither
128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk
127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast for sure 
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: dont care enough
125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers i dont need to be happy AND fat
124: Disney or Six Flags: havent been to either
123: Yankees or Red Sox: this is tumblr we dont care about sports on here

[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: i dont care #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
121: George Bush: fuck u
120: Gay Marriage: yes bitch we do what we want
119: The presidential election: i love donald trump
118: Abortion: under certain circumstances should it be okay. If you’re doing it bc you fucked up, that child doesnt deserve to not have a life because of your poor choices sorry
117: MySpace: dumb
116: Reality TV: love it
115: Parents: love them but back tf off
114: Back stabbers: i’ll fucking ruin your life 
113: Ebay: what
112: Facebook: hi
111: Work: love my job so much
110: My Neighbors: ok this bitch who lives next to us is psycho and wants to literally BE my mom i feel like im in an LMN movie sometimes
109: Gas Prices: fucking really dude like go back to the way they were before the hurricanes 
108: Designer Clothes: LOVE LOVE LOVE
107: College: I love it so much can’g wait to graduate 
106: Sports: dumb
105: My family: love them
104: The future: ony God knows, he has a plan for me

[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: idfk
102: Last time you ate: like 2 hrs ago
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today
100: Cried in front of someone: months
99: Went to a movie theater: months
98: Took a vacation: June
97: Swam in a pool: August 
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: years ago
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: never
91: Broke the law: idk today i guess when i went 60 in a 35
90: Texted: hour ago

[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: my dog bruh and my boyfriend and sometimes cece😉
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog and my mom
87: The last movie I saw: Norma Rae
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: a future with my boyfriend
85: The thing im not looking forward to: being poor when im out of college
84: People call me: gay
83: The most difficult thing to do is: ignore the negativity 
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: taurus
80: The first person i talked to today was: john
79: First time you had a crush: bitch i used to be heartless 
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: john or gabby 
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: lost brain cells thinking about this
76: Right now I am talking to: no one
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: own my own coffee franchise or ya know get rocognized for something dumb and get famous 
74: I have/will get a job: yes i work at subway
73: Tomorrow: i work
72: Today: i worked
71: Next Summer: im gonna work
70: Next Weekend: im gonna work
69: I have these pets: dog
68: The worst sound in the world: dfc
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: not one person has made me cry in 5 years
66: People that make you happy: my boy
65: Last time I cried: like 5 min ago bc tears of happiness thru music
64: My friends are: the best i’ll ever have
63: My computer is: if only i had one
62: My School: Mount St. Joseph University 
61: My Car: needs a little work
60: I lose all respect for people who: are rude af
59: The movie I cried at was: too many
58: Your hair color is: brown
57: TV shows you watch: usually pretty little liars
56: Favorite web site: 😉
55: Your dream vacation: sicily, italy 
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i wanted to kill myself for like 5 years
53: How do you like your steak cooked: idk 
52: My room is: simple, classy n cozy
51: My favorite celebrity is: like really idk
50: Where would you like to be: sleeping
49: Do you want children: maybe
48: Ever been in love: yes
47: Who’s your best friend: my bf and gabby and cece
46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: eating healthy and drinking coffee
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my boy
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ya
41: Have you pre-named your children: ya
40: Last person I got mad at: the person who accused my bf of sexual assault 
39: I would like to move to: a beach
38: I wish I was a professional: in BUSINESS

[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: ew
36: Vehicle: blacked out range rover
35: President: Donald Trump
34: State visited: Florida
33: Cellphone provider: verizon
32: Athlete:dc
31: Actor: dc
30: Actress: dc
29: Singer: Cardi B, Post Malone, Halsey, Migos god damn so many
28: Band: dc
27: Clothing store: anything name brand
26: Grocery store: kroger hoe
25: TV show: pretty little liars
24: Movie: the hunger games movies
23: Website: hmm
22: Animal: idk
21: Theme park: kings island
20: Holiday: halloween/xmas
19: Sport to watch: nope
18: Sport to play: volleyball
17: Magazine: idk
16: Book: Looking for Alaska
15: Day of the week: saturday
14: Beach: yes yes yes yes, santa rosa 
13: Concert attended: lana del ey
12: Thing to cook: anything 
11: Food: i love all food fwm
10: Restaurant: skyline
9: Radio station: idk
8: Yankee candle scent: anything seasonal
7: Perfume: idk
6: Flower: idk
5: Color: blue
4: Talk show host: i dont know do i look 50
3: Comedian: idk
2: Dog breed: german shepard 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes bitch

[365daysof2017]

50/365

Dear tumblr,

I’m gonna start off my posts like this. Hi it’s me. Ash. I’m back. Sorry I didn’t post much last January but you know me, I get lazy, and I procrastinate. I’m just gonna continue where I left off with my previous blog, 366daysof2016, though, I still can’t process that it’s already 2017. 

So how am I? Great. Honestly, not. Life is really really really complicated. It’s probably really simple, just me making things complicated, I don’t know.

 I actually have been worse. I thought I’ve already moved on from David. You see, I told myself that I already need to forget him and all, and I actually did. I met some guys on kik, some lasted on my chatbox, and some didn’t, but everything seemed okay. Everything seemed okay. Then for some reasons, I started cutting my wrist. I have plans to do it again sometime but, I can still hold it.

Okay back to the “David” topic. Everything keeps coming back and it was really hard for me cause I don’t have any space in my mind to think about him. I’m already thinking about a shit ton of crap in my head, and I don’t want to think about him anymore. I thought I already forgot about him. But everything keeps coming back.

So this one day, last Saturday, we went to an Amusement Park. Nothing connected to him at all. I had so much fun! I got home at around 11PM. Then I had a fucking dream. 

It’s the worst type of dream, cause I was lucid. I’m always lucid when I dream about him, so it makes it  even harder. In my dreame, he went to the Phillipines, he apologized. He did everything. I already kinda forgot, but one thing I remember is that it was fun. I had fun. I was happy.

The morning after, I realized how important he was to me, god I was thinking about him the whole fucking day! How I was so happy with him, how he made me feel special... The whole fucking day.

At around 10PM, I was on kik, just randomly flirting with strangers online. I did something impulsive. I messaged him. 

me: dude me: I fucking hate you so much me: I wasn’t done with you yet and you fucking blocked me. So here’s the time where I was supposed to reply another message cause I was gonna flood him with hate messages, but he fucking replied. Instantly. I didn’t expect that. He never replies fast.

David: Ok. me: You fucking left me hanging David: Yea David: I suppose so me: You even called the night before you blocked me! me: what me: that’s it David: I’m sorry me: no explanation or anything David: I dont know what to say me: right me: just fucking say something please

Oh god I was so annoyed and so pissed and so nervous I felt everything at once. He didn’t even say anything. I wanted to hear something from him. I wanted an explanation. That was the only thing I needed to move on and yet he couldn’t give it to me.

David: I just David: Idk I got caught up with the army David: And I was afraid I’d hurt you David: So I ran from the situation David: Which still hurt you but atleast left room for hate me: and went to her instead me: yup

Ohhh shit put an ice to that burn, bitch.

David: Lol I’m not dating anyone so don’t try that

Uhm excuse me? Don’t you think I know anything you’ve been up to? Man I know everything. I have eyes everywhere. Everywhere. It’s kinda creepy, tbh.

me: lmaooooo me: songia??? David: Go look at my stuff David: Not dating anyone David: In fact we broke up and I slept with someone else and now we don’t talk at all First thing that came up to my mind: He’s not a virgin anymore. LMAOO.

David: So that’s that sticky situation I wasted 2 years on

Ha. Sticky. Cause you slept with someone? LMAO OKAY. me: right me: fuck me: its been months me: and its still you me: fuck you okay David: What do you mean me

Dumb-fucking-ass?? Are you that ignorant? or are you just dumb???

me: I hate you so much me: you’re still the one I remember David: Okay I expect that me: I keep having dreams

(lmao why did I say that?)

David: I’m sorry David: I dont know what to say or do me: and its fucking annoying me: its so hard to forget you me: I keep getting these dreams me: and it just made me remember you even more David: Sorry David: I don’t know what to say

ikr, it’s not like it’s your fault I get the dreams??

me: why did you just block me though me: why didn’t you atleast say something David: Trying to run again David: Realized it’s not the right thing to do David: I don’t have anything to say David: You’re right I shouldn’t have left you hanging David: It was wrong of me David: I thought about it too David: I felt bad David: But I couldn’t face it me: fuck you for leaving me when I already fell for you. me: you even said you’re gonna go here me: ugh David: Fuck me David: Okay I get it David: You hate me David: I’m shit David: Leave me alone if that’s all you want to say

Seriously dude, do you really not sense my purpose here? I want you back.

me: I just wanted an explanation lol me: and I didn’t want you to leave me: those were the words you said and I can’t believe I’m saying it me: I don’t want you to leave me alone

So that’s it that’s the serious part. The next part of our conversation wasn’t as long as this one but we were just bantering around. I don’t think he’s as comfortable with me as he was before but I feel like there’s still something.

I just feel so confused about my feelings for him, confused about what we are, confused about what he feels for me. Last Friday, he sent me a message, and I was in school

9:51 AM David: Hey David: You busy?

So I read it during my lunch time cause we were doing something

11:39 AM me: I’m in school

1:42 PM David: Call me after

2:32 PM me: I can’t I have like 100MB left

9:43 PM David: Ughh David: Noooo David: When do you get more David: You are legit so cute David: In your picture David: And your body looks good lol David: JUST SAYING.

I wasn’t able to reply cause I was watching this Selena Gomez film, Monte Carlo. It was really nice btw, I loved it.

11:00 PM me: LMAOOO me: I’m home now it’s like 11 David: What lol. David: I know, I know David: Why you laugh. me: idk me: whats up David: Laying in bed being lazy David: Hbu Piper

Fuck. Right in the feels. So much nostalgia. Piper’s the daughter of Aphrodite in the series that we love, he used to call me Piper, and I told him if I’m Piper then he’s the Jason to my Piper. (Jason’s the love interest of Piper in the books)

me: I just finished watching a movie me: and it was greatttt I loved it David: What movie? David: *sends a cute selfie* David: Lol look @ me

okay so I totally forgot that he asked a question cause a cute fucking selfie just popped in my screen.

me: you look different David: Do I? David: How so?? David: Bad huh David: Thanks I’m ugly ik me: yeah idk me: you look happy me: no wdym ugly David: I am ugly David: You making fun of me lol David: Thanks me: wtf you’re not ugly shut up me: what time is it there me: and where are you David: I’m in kentucky US David: And it is 0912 there!

Idk that’s probably how they read time in the army

David: Girl you’re obsessed David: Lmao jkjk me: ruuude David: No me: Kentucky though me: KFC David: I like you dw

okay... fuck... that was sudden. I mean, good job! That’s a great way to make me even more confused about what’s happening here!

me: ha David: Yes lmao! David: It’s not that good David: I figured it would be the best here David: But it’s the same as everywhere else me: really? me: that’s sad David: It’s nothing special David: Send me a selfie? me: I dont have a selfie me: jk David: Send me one David: Now David: I order you me: dude me: chill David: Lol nope I wanna seee youuuu me: I’m still looking for something decent David: Send them all David: Right meow me: *sends a selfie* me: tada me: I like that one lmao me: hoe filter me: I got more pimples me: smhhhh me: *sends another selfie* me: and one time my hair became like this hahah David: Fucking cute David: Is that overalls lol me: yes hahah

Then he left me on read. But because I’m a creepy-ass stalker that knows his facebook account, I saw his post that he shared. The post said, “I like clingy. I’d rather have someone who blows up my phone and shows they care than someone who texts back 12 hours later” So I messaged him this morning. I didn’t care if I double texted. 

me: dude me: when are you free David: Not tonight, I don’t think me: aw but when David: Idk I’m with jocelyn rn

Who’s Jocelyn???

me: ohh okay me: tell me when you’re available David: Okay

So that was it. I notice that I keep on using the word ‘dude’. Idk what to call him?? Maybe I’ll refer to him as Jason soon. Back to his facebook though, he also shared a post that said, “I blocked my ex on everything but she somehow managed to message me through direct tv *a pic of that*”.. Well.. Was that me? Lol. I dont know!! Someone commented though, “Man, if she goes through that much trouble to try to talk to you I would have to give her a second chance haha” then he replied, “that’s true hahah” UGH ITS JUST SO CONFUSING. So that’s all I have to say about him.

Now I’m here typing this blog. I don’t know, I just wanna talk to him, on the phone. Maybe that’d clear things up, but for now, I never think about our future. I don’t wanna think about the next step, cause when it doesn’t happen, I’m just gonna be twice disappointed. 

This was really a long first blogpost. See ya next time. 

Love, Ash