#i watched AA first but stopped in season 4 when it got too stupid. and with kiyaar's AAposting i have decided to give emh another shot

[kayvsworld]

i thought i didnt like emh's art style but i am in fact giving this iron man a little kiss directly on the forehead his suit is SO good

[merdershewrote]

The Other Side Episode 3: I Could Breathe Again (Part 1)

The Other Side Episode 3: I Could Breathe Again

Scene 1

On the roof of SGH

Owen is dressed in one of the blue jumpsuits with the hospital logo. He pulls on a helmet and steps into the helicopter, carrying an empty blue organ box ironically labeled “Heart.” His duty was to bring a heart back to Seattle today, just none but Bailey knew this was not in the literal sense.

ALEX Hunt! Wait!

Owen looks around, panicked.

OWEN Karev?

ALEX Look, I know what you’re doing and…you shouldn’t be alone.

OWEN This isn’t your thing, okay?!…It’s my thing and it’s my issue to sort out. I did this.

ALEX Dude, do you even know where you’re gonna land that thing?

OWEN Not exactly…

ALEX Well…I stole this from H.R. (he holds up a blue file) and I think I might know.

Owen shoots him a concerned look

Yes, I know it’s illegal but to be honest I’m most likely gonna get put away for GBH…so theft’s not even gonna make a dent on my sentence. And you really want this right?

OWEN (without hesitation) Yes.

ALEX Right then…get in the chopper

Owen hears his own voice in his head, repeating the phrase: Get in the chopper. Did he say it out loud? But his lips didn’t move. Not now anyway. He stands dead still.

FEMALE VOICE


Why should I? What do you mean it’s over?

A hand taps him on the shoulder. A pale figure appears, dressed head to toe in Khaki, crimson waves cascading down her neck.

MEGAN


Oh hello again, brother. Feeling guilty again are we?

Owen hits the hand off his shoulder and turns around to face her presence.

MEGAN What’s gotten into you? You never used to be violent? But then again…there’s only so many times a man can take being torn apart, right?

OWEN You have no idea what you’re talking about.

MEGAN Ohhh I see everything, Owen, so actually I think I do. Besides, this whole up and down thing has been going on for a while… it’s only a matter of time before. you. two. crash. Anyway…I hope you find her…enjoy your ride!

Megan appears to jump off the edge of the roof. Owen follows her, peering over only to see she has dematerialized into thin air.

A second voice is now heard, although this time muffled as if underwater.

ALEX Hunt? Owen? What the hell man?! Get away from the edge!

Owen is thrust back and feels a shockwave throughout his entire body when he hits the tarmac…hard. Laying on his back, he sweats and shakes violently, mumbling incoherently.

OWEN (mumbling to himself but occasionally yelling) No, don’t go!…It’s an airstrike out there!…Please…I’m not guilty. I didn’t mean to…

ALEX (Leaning over Owen and pressing down onto his chest) Hunt? Can you hear me?

OWEN (distressed) It’s got to be me…I’ve got to go.

ALEX


You know, I think this was a bad idea. You’re under a lot of stress and…

OWEN No! I need to go…

ALEX Hunt, listen! You are not getting on that helicopter. (He pulls his chest up by the collar of his uniform) I don’t trust you to fly in this state. It’s too great a risk.

AMELIA (flashback to Season 11) I appreciate you keeping me on…I know I’m a risk

OWEN (within flashback) We’re all a risk…we all have something.

A montage of flashbacks play out in his mind.

AMELIA (12x06)


I mean why the rush? Why not just enjoy us and feel what it's like to be two people in a marriage, newlyweds, before we add to it, right?

AMELIA (12x07) I don’t want to have a baby!

AMELIA (12x04)


And there’s things you don’t know about me. What if it’s too scary?

OWEN (12x05) Are you..? Amelia, are you pregnant?

AMELIA (12x05) I might be…I think I might be…

AMELIA (11x13) My baby lived for 43 minutes.

Scene 2

An AA meeting, somewhere in L.A.

AMELIA Um…hey. I’m Amelia. I have stopped counting my sober days because it’s been a while. 

(There is an interlude of clapping)

(Feeling awkward and guilty for lying - it hasn’t been a year yet since her most recent relapse) 

Haha…um thank you!  I live in Seattle so you’re probably wondering why I’m here…

ED No, wait, Amelia! I was sure I recognized that face from somewhere. You were here a few years ago, right? The group has changed a lot but there’s also a lot of old-timers like myself, still ticking along.

AMELIA That’s great, ED, really great.

SAM (group leader) You two know each other?

AMELIA Yeah, really well. ED is an old friend of mine: we met in this group actually! I haven’t been in three/four years? But I go to AA meetings in Seattle of course. I’m just here to visit some friends at the moment, but since unlike people, sobriety doesn’t take a holiday, I thought I’d come to a meeting here on the day I usually would back home. I wasn’t even sure if there was still a meeting going on in here, but fortunately, it’s the same time, same blue door, same walls….and even though there’s (gesturing to ED) mostly different people, the same unity. These groups saved me during my rock bottom and I will be forever grateful for that. It’s not that there’s anything major I want to talk about today, if I’m honest. It’s just that if I didn’t come…I didn’t want to risk a slip you know?

SAM That was a very brave and wise decision you made, Amelia. (There are nods of solidarity around the room). This group is here for anyone who is willing to make the commitment to recovery. No one has to speak at all if they don’t wish to, however, this is a safe and confidential place to talk about difficult things. Are you sure there’s nothing you would like to discuss?

AMELIA (looking down at her wedding ring, feeling ashamed) No. Not really.

SAM Alright then! Thank you for sharing, Amelia.

Scene 3

Addison walks into work, holding her son’s hand in the elevator. Charlotte King is doing some paperwork at the desk.

ADDISON Hey!

CHARLOTTE


Oh..hey! You realize Cooper’s not in til this afternoon?

ADDISON Yeah I know, I was just gonna leave him to play in my office for a while, do you mind just checking on him every now and again? Henry, why don’t you get yourself set up with the iPad and mommy will be there in just a sec?

Henry skips off with his little rucksack and Addison watches through the blinds as he sinks proudly into the adult-size desk chair.

Okay, I did something stupid.

CHARLOTTE


Wouldn’t be the first time…

ADDISON No, but like…I think I hurt someone, a friend.

CHARLOTTE


And this is relevant to me how?

ADDISON It’s Amelia.

CHARLOTTE (Looking up fully from her paperwork) Oh. What did you do?

ADDISON Well you know Henry’s nanny hasn’t been very reliable lately and his school has broken up for winter break so he’s been spending a lot of time with Amelia.

CHARLOTTE


And that’s a problem because…?

ADDISON (ultra fast) No! It’s not a problem, it’s great in fact. She’s great with Henry but…because it was so many days - almost a whole week, in fact, all day every day, I felt really guilty because I’m supposed to be his mom and I wasn’t there. So I couldn’t think of anything else to do and so I handed her some money and she got really mad about it.

CHARLOTTE So…let me get this straight….you paid Henry’s godmother to look after Henry?

ADDISON I know! Really dumb?

CHARLOTTE Yeah. I would say so.

ADDISON


Urggh I was super tired after surgery and I wasn’t thinking straight.

CHARLOTTE


Well have you told Amelia that?

ADDISON No! I can’t find her, she won’t answer any of my calls…what if?

CHARLOTTE What if what?

ADDISON What if this is like…you know…before,  when she went missing?

CHARLOTTE Wow Addison! You really think you’re that much the center of Amelia’s universe that once you make a stupid mistake she’s gonna immediately reach for pills again? Wow. I didn’t know you were that self-absorbed.

ADDISON Well, I don’t know!

CHARLOTTE


Trust me, Addison, she’s way more resilient and she’s survived way worse than you think. We do talk, you know.

ADDISON Great! That’s great! So…could you just call her to make sure she’s okay?

CHARLOTTE As soon as you leave me alone, absolutely. But because I want to and not just because you’re feeling guilty and want peace of mind.

Scene 4

A cute little independent coffee shop, Los Angeles

Sheldon sits on a bench in a small booth at the back of the cafe, clasping his hands together and twiddling his thumbs. It is not long before Amelia strolls through the door, wearing dark gray jeans, a white strappy top and a black leather jacket, large gray bucket bag over her shoulder. With no surgeries scheduled or Henrys to look after, she has had time for a haircut and it is still voluminous and well-shaped, freshly styled from the salon.

She smiles and saunters over to Sheldon, perching opposite him at the table.

 
 AMELIA


Hey!

SHELDON (looking at his watch) You’re right on time!

AMELIA This may not be an appointment Sheldon, but I take punctuality very seriously. I’m never late. Never.

SHELDON I’m glad you could make it. I like the place you chose. Is this where all the young hipsters hang out these days?

AMELIA (laughing at his father-like naivety)


I think 80% of the inhabitants are probably millennials so yes, I guess so! But I used to come here every day between my shifts at the practice and going to meetings. I loved it because, it used to be small, cozy and quiet, but not silent, so I was never alone with my thoughts. I would hate that. You learn to people watch, in places like this, and watch a thousand untold stories play out, every day…and I filled up a few stamp cards! In fact, I might still have a couple… 

(she digs into her bag and between two fingers holds up a very bent and scuffed card which reads ‘Boyden’s Pantry’ in typewriter font on one side and has 6 red stamps on the other, and places it on the table.)

That’s a full one so you can get a free coffee sometime! Come on, take it!

SHELDON Oh…that’s very kind of you but won’t you like to use it? I wouldn’t want to…

AMELIA


No, honestly, keep it! Next one’s on me! Besides, I won’t use it because, well I should be going home soon…wherever that is.

SHELDON Right…thank you! (There is an awkward silence). Well, first of all, I’d just like to apologise…for that night on the pier…for putting you on the spot like that…with Brian. It wasn’t fair for you to find out in that way…

AMELIA Sheldon, you were two men holding hands. It wasn’t a statement. It wasn’t a 2 fingers in the air, “fuck you” moment. You love each other. And the fact that you feel the need to apologise for that makes me so mad…at the world. Don’t apologise. You love him. He loves you. I’m happy for you both.

SHELDON We are happy. And thank you. You really mean it?

AMELIA (smiling)


Of course I do.

SHELDON And what about you…have you…uh…found someone?

AMELIA I did, yeah. I met someone in Seattle. A trauma surgeon. Kind, grounded…the opposite of me.

SHELDON And do you think he’s the one, or is it just another sort of informal fling? Do you think this will surmount to anything serious?

AMELIA (fumbling with her wedding ring) Yeah…Kinda…


SHELDON (grabbing Amelia’s arm) Amelia…are you married?!

AMELIA (Exhaling deeply. It is a relief to have the cat out of the bag, finally)


Yes! I am.

SHELDON Wow! Congratulations!

AMELIA


Thank you!

SHELDON How-how long ago was this?

AMELIA


Ohh a few months ago now…May…but it all came and went super fast. It was like I blinked and it was gone.

SHELDON Gone?

AMELIA Yeah. Oh! Not that he’s gone! No….we’re still together…technically, legally, but…I guess things are rough. But we’ll get through this right?

SHELDON I’m sorry to hear that.

AMELIA I’m sure you’ve heard worse

SHELDON But in answer to your question…without sounding overly cryptic and shrinky…I think the only person who can say whether you will get through it or not is you. Do you want to get through it…together?

AMELIA


Yes! I mean, I think so. He’s perfect. It’s my thing. I’m the problem. I come with a lot of ‘terms and conditions’ you see.

SHELDON Haha I can understand that!

AMELIA And…he doesn’t know about the baby.

SHELDON Not at all?


Amelia shakes her head.

AMELIA Not enough to listen anyway… He wants a family so bad…. I would hate to deny him what he wants most in this world. He doesn’t deserve a blow like that…not twice. I might just not be what he needs. He could be so so happy…even if it were with someone else…he would make it and he’d be okay. If I’m not enough…(choking up) if our marriage is really gonna come down to this…I don’t know if I can survive that again…

SHELDON You don’t know. You don’t know if it would be the same. Amelia…The chances of that happening again are less than one in a million…the same as anyone else's.

AMELIA


Forgive me, Sheldon. But my father was shot in the head, before my eyes. My brother died in a car crash. A brain surgeon…from a subdural haemorrage. Yeah, just let that sink in. And after I had almost a decade of sobriety under my belt I relapsed into the deepest, darkest rock bottom ever and woke up to find my boyfriend dead in bed next to me. And after that I had to carry a baby for nine months, knowing at the end of it I would have to bury him. Forgive me, Sheldon, if I fail to see that my odds are not the same as ‘everyone else's'.

A waitress/barista approaches the pair

WAITRESS


I’m really sorry sir, ma’am, but I’m afraid we’re very busy today and if you haven’t ordered anything then we are going to have to give up the table to paying customers.

SHELDON I’m so sorry, we got distracted. May I have an Americano, please? 2 sugars.

The waitress now turns fully to Amelia, who looks up. After a sharp intake of breathe, she registers her ginger hair, button nose, pale complexion and dark, chocolatey brown eyes. As Amelia stares, the waitess’ face turns shiny, more pallid and her eyes go wild. To Amelia, waitress scratches herself the scene dissolves into a dark room, filled with screams and shaking. Clasped hands form a bridge of solidarity over the gap between their two beds. Next, the exchange of chocolate on a sunny afternoon. Next, the scarred and bruised face of her roomate in the hall, returning to Pacific Serenity after a relapse. Amelia knows this face. She shared her darkest hours with this face. She remembers this face. She lives this face.

AMELIA


Haley?

*END OF PART 1*

Yes guys it’s official I have lost my mind. For better or for worse? Who knows?!!!

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Saturday

diary for future me, read if you want but it’s rly only 4 myself tbh. Cosplayed: mik.an Tsumiki

OKAY so the morning was rly bad and hectic and i dont like remembering it but i woke up and got ready bc the lol.ita fashion show was at 10 am and dad n i left and dad stopped by burger king to get himself some food but my cramps flared up BADLY and i had a midol in my bag so i took it out but im afraid of pills and cant swallow them so i was shaking and then i started crying and the drive-thru girl was like “oh gosh are you okay?” and i explained what was going on but rushed and sloppily and she was like “oh this happens to my lil sis too.. it’s okay sweetie just relax” or soething and i had dad park the car in the parking lot of burger king and for me to put my midol in a BK crospy crown and take a huge bite and swallow but that backfred and i chewed some of the pill and it was Blegh but the midol didnt kick in right away and the cramps were still v bad so i had dad rive me home so i could lie down for a while and i asked mom to use the heater bc she accidentally woke up so i asked her while she was awake and she kept saying no bc she liked it but when i begged she let me use her bed and used mine and it barely helped but overtime i gradually geew okay and hadd to calm myself so the stress wouldnt make my cramps return and i left at like 11 am and i missed the BB panel too but it’s Okay and i walked in and met up w haji near the ticket place and thankfully her mom let us wander around the con

so we went to the GF panel but i was mainly distracted by a small octopus plushie on some guy’s head and haji n i kept joking abt us knocking it off his head and abt the guy playing space jam and bassboosted music outside the panel room and it being audible whenever someone opened the door to leave or come in pff... but the dipper did the lamby dance and it was cute aa and the dipper offered ppl in the audience scooby snacks to any of the audience so haji n i had one n it was rly good aa i hadnt had one of those in years theyre Yummy...

Anyway, after that, i tried to go to the DR meetup, but it was rly rly tiny?? like we held it inside w like 2 handfuls of ppl and we tried to get the junkos to step on the tsumikis (there were 3 of us, including me) w 2 junkos bc i requested it but the junkos didnt wanna accidentally pantyshot the camera so we got up from our kneeling positions haha and haji went to the dealers room for a while while this was going on and i tried to help the mikan when she said she got a cut on her face but she said it was alright and eventualy haji came back and i left w her and we decided not to go to the m.lp panel that i kind of wanted to go to and instead went to the dealers room and looked around and i showed her the idol merch table and haji said she’d buy me anything bc she didnt get to give me a birthday present earlier on in the year so i looked around for a Big hamster plushie or something but those seemed expensive so we came back to the idol table and got me the tori keychain i’d been wanting since yesterday or thirsday and haji got a tsukasa and then we ran into the ppl running the fine panel and we all joked abt “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS, EICHI!!” 

and we walked around for a bit more before going to the rw.by panel but we could barely hear and we had to sit at the back of the room due to lack of seats so haji and i just whispered to eachother the whole time and i had haji read part of an en.stars smut fic w impregnation kink (just kink not actual mpreg) and a lil stupid thing i wrote abt rei and koga and then we watched the service dog near us near the other corner and watched it lick the carpet and Rest and enjoyed watchin it then we tried to walk around and someone asked for a pic of me but i was like “UHH WHERES MY SYRINGE PROP” so haji thought i elft it on the floor of the other panel and she left to go find it while i waited near these ppl bc they were just hanging out anyway and i kept worrying like “shes been gone for a while.. is she okay this shouldve been quick oh god” and my cramps started returning a lil but i tried to keep myself calm and the uraraka was like “are you okay i can go try n retkrkieve her if she got lost” and i was like “it’s okay” and eventually i checked deep in my bag and found it and i tried to call haji but she arrived just as i called her and i was like “i found it im sorry aa” and then we Ran to the en.stars panel

AND THE EN.STARS PANEL WAS SO SO MUCH FUN!! I have the first half recorded on video and since it’s rly late rn, i wont type too much abt that, but i asked eichi if he was anyone’s sugar daddy and, if not, would he be mine and he said he was kind of one to hajime and bought him lots of things and haji asked who was the most into minions and it was apparently Tori and i showed them the scooby doo au i made w some of haji’s assistance and showed wtaru (and the others) the Scoobkai Doonata that i drew and they all were laughing and i wa glad aa and the topic of vore came up again and i showed them shino’s ku.rochia vore post and the kiryu was like “OH MY GOD CAN I GIV U MY TWITTER SO I CAN BE SENT THAT” and the panelists were laughing and tori read the tweet aloud while laughing and i told them the ensemble vore account and eichi was like “well, theyve prob gained more followers today” and i asked if anyone in the audience wanted to see it and omeone rasied their hand so i showed them and they were laughing too and it was Wild.wataru apparently named his doves after fine members and tomoya, and i asked kiryu if he could lift rabits + fine and they nodded and i later asked if he knew that he’s a thicc bara and the fandom thirsts for him and he laughed and nodded. Haji asked them if they’d heard rainbow circus nightcore bassboosted and the eichi said they played it at practice ssometimes (i thick this was ooc not in-character answer) and someone in the audience actually KNEW the person who made that and messaged them and they messaged them that tori said they liked them and the rainbow cisurcus stuff and the person replied w “ Why” and honestly this whole panel was FUN but so someone told us where the en.stars buttons were so the fine group, their friend the kiryu, haji, and i all went to the booth and got buttons and i said goodbye to eeryone and walked around for a minute then haji n i went into the vol.tron talk panel and haji had to leave aww and after that the vol.tron panel was mostly shitty fanfic reading, swearing, and roasts and i wanted to go to vol.tronival but for reason i thought thatd be rude bc the panelists were like “we have to compete w... THAT” and so i stayed and went on my ipad most of the time.

I went to the per.sona 5 q and a and it was so full that i had to stand in the back but they sometimes kept bringing up per.sona 4 and perso.na 3 so i was confused and they said they were abt to start trivia and it might have spoilers so i took that opportunity to leave bc i dont want spoilers and it was kind of boring so i walked around the dealers room and i found a Rock and Uno and i talked to them and turns out the Rock was actually the mondo from the day before bc they said “hey, sweetie!” in a nice tone and i was confused and they were like “ah im the mondo btw!” so we talked and i talked abt how i watched both seasons of nan.baka in like.. 2 days and i was like “uno’s best boy-” and rock (as a joke) went deadpan and walked away and i was like “ROCK IS ALSO A GOOD BOY JUST.. UNO...” and rock came back and i said that uno and nico stole my heart and uno fistbumped me and rock was like “you should cosplay w us sometime~!” and i said i was considering doing uno but couldnt and i cant do most of the characters bc long sleeves and rock said i’d be cute as the chinese qi kid and i was like “i cant paint myself either but thank you!” and they had to leave but i got rock’s tumblr and they called me cute or sweet and i looked around the dealers room for a second more before scurrying to the LL panel and apparently the thing was 2 hours??

but anyway it was p funny and we all just messed around and did q and a and games like handshake  killer and karaoke! i sang half of Sentimental Liars but my voice wasnt as loud as i wouldve liked it and kind of shaky bc i was cold and Nervous and the nico from the panel and another random guy clapped for me and the 2 en.stars fans in front of me said my voice sounded nice and at some point i overheard those 2 talking abt making a screamo cover of melody in the dark and i was like “omfg are yall gonna actually make a cover. go fully hardcore” and Dead girl walking and candy store got sung and it was a Fun panel. the kiryu from earlierwalked in too so when everyone was talkign to eachother near the end of the panel, i asked shino if they wanted to say anything to the kuro and shino asked them how ranking went and the kiryu said they couldnt rank and shino was just so happy and keysmashing and asked f i could say “pls lift me mr.bara” and the kiryu chuckled and the kiryu was like “do they want me to like.. do anyfin?” so i asked shino and all he said was “DAB” so i took a pic of the kiryu dabbing and shino said they hadnt been feeling well so it cheered them up so i told the kiryu that and they said to tell shino that that made them happy and when the kiryu and i swapped tumblr apparently they already follow me and im like “FGNEGN DUDE.. I KNO U IVE SEEN U IN MY FOLLOWERS LIST IM YUMENOSAKIACADEMY ROX...” n they were like “oH” and they showed me a funny post abt shu and i proposed a tri.ch shu hc and then they ahd to leave but i stayed for the vol.tron panel but i was messaging shino thru most of it but i saw lynds (as lance) get hugged by the panel’s lance and i read some en.stars doujins and messaged another friend too so i wasnt paying much attention, then istill stayed in the room for the rw.by panel, but same i was just on my ipad but i saw some of the dares and the jaune sang and stuff and evemtually it was over and i walked around taking pics before going outside to wait for dad to pick me up 

and i took a pic of a pidge, lance, and keith and gav em lollipops and the pidge was like “omg ur nails.. wait, did u go to a hai.kyuu panel last year?” and i was like “ah, no i was casu.al d v a” and they were like “yea, but u went TO  a hai.kyuu panel, yea?” and i said yea and they were like “aa i was the hinata u talked to. i recognized u bc the nails” and i laughed bc thats my only noticable feature, huh. pff