#i wasnt going to get snacks but. i got paid today. it was a sign

[todayisafridaynight]

ARE YOU READYYYY

[vore-scientist]

Bookish (safe soft willing platonic GT M/f vore)

Ok a little explanation is needed for this: IT'S NOT PART OF THE NORMAL MYSTIC WOODS. 

IT'S AN AU+ CROSSOVER SILLINESS

Been talking with @vixen525 (dA, tumblr) and we’ve been talking about fun crossovers with our worlds/characters and this came out of that! 

Contains: safe, soft, non-sexual, willing M/f GT vore No warnings. 

To set you up: Yonah, for whatever reason it’s not important for this story, got transported to the dimension/world of TerraSyor (which belongs to @vixen525 ), but in the process suffered memory loss (bc I wanted to be cliche as fuck and it makes things so much fun!!!). Giants in TerraSyor are called Syors or Syorians which are two subspecies. Check their dA for more information. They are a LOT larger than Yonah. But anyways. That’s kinda the set up, other things you need to know are explained in the story. 

---

“Can you stop pacing? It’s giving me a Syor sized headache.” 

On a desk in the Office of the Giant King was a small desk! And on that desk was an even smaller one! A very odd sight. Even for a very odd King, but it had been like this for about a month now. Ever since a mysterious stranger appeared in the Ruby Isles and had been taken by King Connor to be the new personal guard to his Chief Royal Advisor of Politics. The Small desk belonged to this stranger. The smaller desk to the advisor. And she was getting a bit frustrated. 

For the stranger, who’s name was Yonah HaEsh, was nervous for what she felt was a bit of a silly reason. He was pacing around his desk and stroking his dark goatee, running his hands through his long curly black hair. It was in theory, his “payday” but he refused to take any normal payment. He felt that the generosity and situation he found himself in as a new guard who had all his needs taken care of, and as someone who viewed himself in a temporary position until he found his way back to his home dimension, he had no need for money. But there were other needs. Well not needs, but wants. 

And yet Yonah was still having second thoughts. 

“It just feels wrong… paying someone to let me eat them!” he said for the hundredth time since being offered and him accepting said offer. 

Yonah didn’t remember much, something about the trip through dimensions had rattled his head. But he knew a few things. He was half-giant. Though even that was in doubt as giants, or Syor/Syorians, were more than twice his size, much more. He was a puny 23.5ft and the taller Syor/ians were close to 100! He knew he was a wizard, which was in no doubt given the crazy outfit he had been wearing upon his violent arrival on the island. He now wore a custom royal guard uniform, but he kept on his wizard hat. He knew that his name was Yonah. He knew a few other details, like magical knowledge and… that humans tasted really good. That he liked to eat them. 

He also knew that unlike Syor/ians, he didn’t have the same desire to eat humans, just that he liked to, so why shouldn’t he? He’d eaten Naomi, the aforementioned advisor, a few times, but she really belonged to the King. It felt oddly like she was cheating on her king when he ate her. 

Due to the extreme fancy for humans that Syor/ians had, it turns out the castle had, on retainer, a number of humans paid to be safely eaten. Most did it for the quick coin, but a few stuck around. Apparently this was such a human. One who at least kind of enjoyed this job. That didn’t make Yonah feel any better about it. But he also hadn’t eaten that morning, in anticipation and out of courtesy to what would be his guest. So he was hungry. 

“Can’t I just eat you? Or I can get a new robe!” he said. 

“She’s already been paid, and some variety is good for you,” Naomi glanced up briefly and smiled at him, trying to reassure him. Her new guard was so strange. He was fiercely loyal from the start, wicked smart, and strong, but he had a strange temper and the most interesting things threw him off. Like getting to eat someone! The first time he ate her he’d fallen apart, sobbing like he’d lost a loved one. Wild, since It was perfectly safe, the king had the finest Terran Artificers craft protective amulets. She wore a very stunning one on her wrist, a large silver bracer engraved with depictions of her island, complete with a golden, magical gemstone as the sun. 

A knock on the door to the office signalled the arrival of Yonah’s “payment”. Naomi snapped her fingers and the door’s protective wards momentarily lifted and a uniformed Syor came in, bowing as they did. 

In their hand was a platform, upon which was a cushion, but from this distance it was hard to see the human. It still felt like being served up food, on a silver platter. 

The Syor stopped at the desk and glared down at the much smaller giant. Like Yonah had stolen their treat. But yonah wasnt really paying attention to the guard trying to intimidate him. He was focused on the human.

A young woman lounged on the cushion, paying no heed to what was going on at all, and her bespectacled eyes were engrossed in a book. She had on little clothing but it was extremely fancy, and her hair was done up with golden bands. Those reeked of magic and Yonah knew those composed her protective amulet. She also had a small bowl of candied nuts and fresh berries that must be balanced with magic next to her. No, the bowl was set atop a pile of books and a few others were tucked around her. 

She looked up and down at Yonah, her eyes getting wide but not in horror, but in a bit of afronted shock. After taking another candy she spoke to Naomi. 

“I’m getting that first edition signed copy of The Chronicles of Percival The DragonMancer, right? Otherwise I’d rather be eaten by drooly over here” she indicated the Syor that swallowed guiltily. 

Yonah couldn’t really blame her. Being eaten by a Syor or Syorian had to be much different than by him. He was so much smaller! It must be so much more confining, and being swallowed down… If it was a painful effort for him, it must be awful for the one he was eating. He imagined being swallowed by one of this world’s giants was still terrifying in it’s own way, but not so suffocating. 

“Sure are!” Naomi didn’t even look up from her papers. 

The woman motioned to be placed down on the desk and the Syor obliged. Then they gave her a quick sniff and even dared a lick with the tip of their tongue against her back and left without another word. She should be perfectly safe, this was the king’s office, and the only others in the room were a new but trusted guard and the king’s best friend. Ok best friend is an understatement for what Naomi truly was. She and the king were as close as two could be, they loved each other very much, though they were not romantically or sexually involved. 

Stretching and putting her book down the woman stepped onto the desk to get a look at the one who was to eat her. Short and stocky, She had the build of someone who got plenty of exercise living amongst giants but also was given all the sweets she desired any time of the day. And the attitude of someone who thought nothing of being eaten, but was a little wary of the prospect for the first time in a while. She was sizing Yonah up and her calculations weren’t leading to kind results. And she was good at math. While she lived the life of Extremely luxury given to a spoiled pet, she was horrifyingly well read and used her pay for the finest tutors in the land. Some of them were Syor/ian who were more than happy to be paid with getting to eat her. 

She also did not fail to notice the trepidations of the half-giant that knelt down next his desk, and waited for her to approach, which she did. But she did not climb up onto his lap, not her job to initiate, she was their snack. She literally had to do nothing and she got everything she wanted. 

“Oh, I left my glasses on, I’ll be right back-” she turned but then stopped when Yonah spoke. 

“Ehm, hi,” Yonah said, then decided he didn’t want to be so awkward. He wasn’t a teenager asking out a schoolyard crush. “My name is Yonah, and your name is?”

It occurred to her that not many of the Syor/ians that she was presented to asked her name. How many even knew it? She turned around to see the kind brown eyes behind glasses much thicker than her own. 

“Danielle, Dani,” she said. 

“So, ehm, do you like books?” he asked. 

Oh, a talker. Some liked to have conversations though most just shoved her down their gullets. It was at least a nice attempt to acknowledge her personhood. Not that she really minded, she was living her best life. 

“You bet! I think I’ve read more than nerdy naomi,” she said, finding herself being a bit more chatty than she thought she’d be. 

“Hey! All you do it read when you’re not in a giant’s gut! I got to read documents all day long, so sue me if I dont have the time or energy for every fictional book in the damn library!” Naomi was somehow able to concentrate on her work and still give a brilliant comeback. 

“Anyways,” Yonah said, getting Dani’s attention, “I also like to read! And I think I might have some books you would like.”

“I’m already paid for today,” said Dani, she was interested but was sure there was some ulterior motive. The giants loved to flatter her with gifts, hoping for extra time, but she never gave it. She knew how delicious she was. 

“I’m still unsure about eating you, but I wouldn’t want you to waste your time. Here,” he took off his head and Dani looked genuinely surprised and curious when he stuck his hand in and pulled out a selection of novels. 

“I don’t know if you’ve been told, but I’m from another world entirely, and apparently my hat is full of books!” Yonah held out his hand with the books to Dani who lost all her professional aura and took them all, taking in their covers, which had art styles wholly unfamiliar to her

They were completely unfamiliar to her, in fact the titles were half nonsense. 

‘Stars Without Number, The Tetremalin Time Bomb. A Captain Alfred and the Mystery of the Sigma Quadrant Adventure’ and  ‘The Fantastic Romantic Escapades of The Fantabulous Darington and The One that Got Away’ and ‘MythAdventures: The Awakened Automaton, a Gaslamp Steamfantasy for All Ages’ and one that was not a book but bound with twine titled ‘The Ice Princess, The Official Scripts by the Silken Breath Order, episodes 1-10, with hand-written edits’

“I can have these!?” she couldn’t believe, books no one else had! Books from another world with brand new stories and possibly new genres. Her heart could barely contain itself in her chest. 

Yonah looked at Naomi who gave him a knowing glance. He should really reel it in on the gifts. “You can have one, for now,” he said. A few memories trickled in. “I personally loved MythAdventures, it’s got a fantastic twist.”

Dani smiled, and returned the other books into his hand, but with a big smile she hugged the MythAdventures, she sniffed it deeply. It even smelled like far away. 

Without another word she returned to her cushion, but instead of settling down she took her bowl of candies and returned to Yonah, clambering onto his knees, settling down. It was very adorable and Yonah couldn’t help but smile.  

“Why dont I read it to you?” he asked, adjusting to sit criss cross, so she was a bit sprawled out on his skirt. Then without warning he took something from a pouch at his side and dabbed it on his tongue and said words in a language she didn’t know. Which was frustrating, she knew a lot of languages 

Woah! A burst of grey smoke spread around her, sourced from the half-giant. Only he was not giant any longer. He was human sized. Or nearly, and she was still in his lap. She knew shrinking spells existed but this was not any she had read about. Also, up until now she was certain he had been humoring her about not eating her and just feeling sorry for her and so giving her extra books. But he definitely couldn’t eat her at this size. She also loved to be read to. 

“Yes please!” she handed him back the book. He adjusted his glasses and got more comfortable, with Dani laying across his legs. Even shrunk, he was still a comfy spot, he was chubby, very soft and warm. 

“Would you like a honey nut?” she held up the bowl, “they are almost as tasty as me!” 

Yoanh laughed and took a few. They were indeed tasty. The honey stuck to his teeth and Dani giggled as he licked it from his fangs like a dog licking peanut butter from the roof of its mouth. Finally his mouth was candy free and he opened the book. 

“Oh shoot, this is book 3, I’m so sorry,” he said, “I think I have the first two but,” he reached into his hat again and winced. Then he dismissed his reduction and pulled out two giant sized books. Giant sized for Yonah, so a bit oversized. Dani looked amused, as if she thought this was his plan all along. 

“That’s alright! Why don’t you eat me and read to me, the Syorians have done that a few times, and it was nice.”

Eat her and read to her? Why did that stir a memory? Why was he sure he’d done that for someone else. Someone important to him. The thought was so tempting, even though he kinda planned to just let her continue to sit in his lap. Then His stomach grumbled a bit. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“It’s my job silly! And if you read to me it would be much less like a job!” she hopped off his lap and returned her new book, her bowl of candy, and her glasses to her cushion. This time when she returned it was to climb back onto him. “Alright! Ready to be eaten!” 

If not for her eagerness Yonah might not have proceeded to pick her up and after giving her a playful sniff, shove her into his mouth. 

While a Syor/ian could fit an entire human in their mouth, Yonah couldn’t. Not even close. Most of her body was dangling out. With her minimal amount of clothing yonah got a massive amount of flavor and she had been right. She was delicious. And Yonah did not want to torture her for so long so He worked her to the back of his mouth and tipped his head back to begin swallowing. Next time… next time he would spend more time tasting her. 

Despite not having all his memories, Yonah knew he was proud to be half-giant, though as his throat stretched and the human’s form pressed against his windpipe as he forced her down into his esophagus, he kinda wished he was fully giant. It was painful, in kind of a good way, and he kept swallowing. Eventually her feet disappeared into his throat, and with that her hands entered his stomach, then the rest of her! She was super filling. And that was one reason he was glad to be half-giant, surely for whatever a full giant was, and he was certain his mother was one, eating a single human couldn’t be so satisfying. He slumped with a content sigh and rubbed his belly. 

This just felt... right. He was full and so so so happy. 

“Hey! Aren't you gonna read? If im gonna be so squished I'd like you to keep your word”

Yonah snapped back and also looked at Naomi. He was on duty! He was on guard! Yes this office was extremely secure but he couldn’t completely slack off. And a full belly seemed to lull him a bit. This alarmed him and most of his sleepiness went away. 

Naomi had watched the entire thing, for she was curious as to how such a small giant could swallow a human, but he did. It looked uncomfortable for him but clearly enjoyable. And seeing his stomach become pleasantly full… very different from when Syor/ians ate folks. Except for how pleased Yonah was with himself, that was exactly like a Syor/ian. 

“Yes yes, I… you taste delightful Dani!” he said, back to being a bit awkward with compliments. 

He looked down at his middle and saw the slight signs of a human being trapped inside his gut. The small occasional tremors as she tried to find a comfortable position, and a few times little dents that corresponded to when he could feel her stretch out. He was just tickled peachy watching, feeling. Until he figured that was enough time and he reached for the book. 

As he read he felt Dani relax, but not to the point where she was going to fall asleep. Oh no, she stayed wide awake as Yonah read to her. He did at some point get some water, as his throat got extremely dry, telling Dani what was about to happen so she wouldn’t freak out. She said the cool water felt refreshing! So that was nice. 

There was a notable moment when he took a break to talk to Naomi. She needed a bit of a break too, her eyes were starting to get tired from looking at documents for so long. First she just summarized in words a few of the documents, good practice to tell Connor later. In the month since Yonah’s arrival she had started to go over things briefly with her guard before Connor, to organize things in her head a bit better. Even if Yonah didn’t understand their politics it was very helpful. 

Plus she was super curious about Dani. Or rather, about Yonah having eaten Dani. Naomi knew how weird and different it was to be eaten by Yonah, and Yonah had been very descriptive about how it felt, that he could very acutely tell even minor movements. That he could place his hand on his stomach and feel whoever was inside! This was something Syor/ians could not do, simply because of their size. 

“I don’t mind you touching, but Dani might,” he said, poking himself a bit, causing Dani to stir. 

He had been poking and rubbing his stomach at fairly regular intervals while he read but Dani was still not used to such intrusions upon her space. Syor/ian stomachs were much more cavernous, no such effects at all. Naomi was entranced, and then a bit horrified upon a tremor, and the slightest of movements, especially since before seeing it, yonah just seemed like he’d eaten a good meal, not a person. You could not tell if a Syor/rian had eaten someone, not at all.

“Naomi’s gonna, em, examine me, and you might feel her pressing into my stomach, if that’s ok!” Yonah asked. Naomi was sitting on his thigh as Yonah sat crossed legged, but she stood up now.

“Hmmm, yeah that’s fine!” Dani said, shifting again. Hmmm. Maybe. She pressed a hand to what she knew was the “front” of the stomach.

Naomi gasped as she saw the movement and with only a little hesitation placed her hands at the spot and leaned in.

By the guards of the underworld That felt wrong! That had to be an elbow or a hand. It was obviously a person trapped underneath the layers of fat and flesh. And she could feel as Dani shifted even a little. The best way to describe it is like feeling floating ribs. It was unnerving so she stopped after only a short time.

“I’m, going to get a snack and get back to work.” she said. 

“Not without my escort!” Yonah picked her up and climbed down the desk. They could easily call a servant but Yonah needed to stretch his legs. He couldn’t have a snack since Dani was his snack, but a walk to the kitchens was very much needed. 

Once they got back Naomi dived into her paperwork again. Yonah sat back down at his desk and continued to read. 

And when his time with her was up, he poked at Dani again, and she let out a long groan.

“But you’re not done!!!” she pounded against his stomach in frustration. “You’re so good at reading!!”

That made Yonah feel good! This little human had enjoyed her time being eaten. He almost started crying again, as wonderful as this had been it still made him sad? But in a good way. 

Also she was very correct, they weren’t even halfway through the book.  But really, it was time for a late lunch, and since Yonah had skipped breakfast, he shouldn’t skip another meal. Not very responsible for a guard to go hungry. And he wasn’t gonna eat with her sitting in there. No way. Even if Syor/ians did that, he felt like due to his size it would be incredibly unpleasant, and he was already so full he couldn't eat a proper meal without becoming overstuffed, and burying his occupant. 

Guess he would just have to eat her again soon. 

Once he spat her up and cleaned her off, she turned to Naomi.

“Can he eat me again? Like! tomorrow!?” She practically squealed at Naomi who looked at them both with her knowing gaze - like she had her suspicions this might happen, that she might have requested Dani be his treat for this specific reason. 

“Perhaps,” she said, and smiled so deviously. And Yonah’s face turned a little red.

That might be a bit too soon! That felt like exploitation to Yonah, But he’d love to read to her again so they could progress in the story without her having to be in his gut. And with his lost memories, he knew he was getting to read his favorite books like they were new! Or at least, sort of new. 

And it was something to do while Naomi did her mountains of paperwork. 

[FIN] if you liked PLEASE REBLOG!

REBLOGS HELP SPREAD MY WORK! I also love knowing that people read my stories! My askbox and DMs are OPEN!!! let me know!!!

[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’]

[pbandjesse]

Today was a much better day. Emotionally I waa much happier. And that lead to a much better day.

I still wasnt thrilled to wake up. But I felt cute. And James made me a sandwich and packed me a muffin. Made me feel loved. But I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted to be home. But Marcus messaged me that he was staying home. So I could not. I needed to go. It would be good for me to be there with the kids.

I got the bus after a nice bike ride. And got to work on time. I spent the morning doing a little painting for our mural. And then down to see the kids.

Emotionally I could feel myself being better today. So when i had the kids sitting down for yoga, both little kids and big kids, I explained to them my feelings, and how I may have been harsh yesterday. And so i apologized. Because they should hear that adults can own up to mistakes and ackowlege bad days. And we had a good yoga time. The big kids enjoyed ballet. At least most of them. It was still nice.

Art time was fun. I walked around with Bob the lizard on my shoulder. Which freaked all the adults out and made the kids laugh. And we painted and me and Tiffany worked on cleaning the room. The kids who were done helped organize. We sorted paper by color for next weeks project. The youth workers washed containers and fixed up our water color pallets. It was a productive morning.

We had some good times in reading. Lunch was good. At recess poor Bre'Asia rolled over her foot on the skateboard and there were a lot of tears. But I talked her down. I felt bad that she got hurt but I felt proud that she calmed down and we got some ice and worked on some breathing. She was limping a little but she'll be okay.

First time with the big kids I decide we were finally actually going to do some math. Mostly because one of the boys had have jokingly complained that we had only done science Technology and Engineering. Fair. I'm not very good at math. But what I am good at is budgeting. So that's what we did.

I reduce the concept of Economics to the kids. What is an economy. And then we figure it out how someone survives everyday. I asked the kids if any of them ever had a job. I had someone who said that they had mowed lawns or shovel snow. So they were landscapers. We had people who were babysitters. We had someone who had sold something at a bake sale so they were Baker now. We also had trash collectors. Because that's something that I have discovered is a thing in Baltimore. People who pay kids in the neighborhood to clean up. And that's really nice. So I made up prices. Or salaries. We went by the hour first. But before they found out what the pay was they all had to pick a job. They got an index card and they had to write down one of those for jobs on their next car. I didn't want them to pick the job that pay the most. So my landscapers made the most. And my babysitter's made the least. Trash collectors were up there as well and Bakers had two different pay scales. You were either an owner or you work at the bakery. It was only a $5 difference.

Once they had all chosen that we had to figure out what our daily pay was. They took their hourly rate and they times 2 by 8. And then once they have that we had a big r weekly. So they times that by 5. And then we got to figure it out monthly. So we did it by 4. Lot of math.

Then we talked about once and needs. What is a want and what doesn't eat. I basically gave my speech that I give at The Company Store at the BMI. And then I signed prices two things. You spend $200 a month on food. You can spend $50 to $100 a month on clothing. And then you got to choose if you live in a house or apartment or mansion. You chose if you rented or owned. And then I told you how much you paid.

At the end are trash collectors had a good amount of money left over if they own to their house and only spent $50 a month on clothing. No one who had a mansion have any left over money. Most of them were negative $2,000. Whatever babysitters have $50 left over and one had five. It was really interesting to see how they would choose to spend to their needs budget and what they would have left over for a want. I think it kind of opened up their eyes a little bit and that was cool. But we didn't talk about taxes in our math. So we talked about what is attacks why do they take 35 to 45% of our paychecks. Talked about how it pays for public school and the roads and the fire department and homeless shelters and services. How taxes are not a bad thing even though they can feel annoying. Let me talk about minimum wage. I had all of the people that we're getting paid on our board at base level Maryland minimum wage and then it only went up from there. But then we talked about what federal minimum wages. How it hasn't changed since I had my first job in 2009. How even though they're talkin about raising it to $15 an hour it's going to have the same spending power as $7.25. And why that sucks.

People always complain that I never learned how to do a budget or pay taxes in school. Never really learned all taxes were. And I think that's fair. So it was good to be able to talk to my kids today even though they're only between the ages of 10 and 13. I think it was good for them to start thinking about it.

I went took my break after that. Mackenzie was very upset about something so she came inside with me. We both just laid on the couch has listen to her headphones. The day was over. I finished up with little kids. Handed out snacks. Cleaned the room. And then I took everyone downstairs to go home.

James texted me that the landlady for the apartment that we want finally got back to her. The holdup has been that his apartment is not answering her phone calls. She's trying to get some background information and get some contacts on him and they're just not answering. I'm not shocked because they don't seem to answer for anything. The hole-in-the-wall, leaking shower. Annoying but I think she is going to try one more time and if she doesn't hear anything back she's probably just going to go off of my stuff and jobs and things like that. And it's not definite but I think we have the apartment. I told James I'm not going to believe we have it until the keys are in my hand. And if we don't get it I'll be sad but that just means somewhere better is out there.

I took the bus home. I stopped for Chipotle. I got it without sour cream so that I could more easily packet for tomorrow on our field trip. I got back here and I ate my tacos. And packed away the food. I did some sewing. The quilt is almost finished. There's a couple places I'm going to have to hand sew because of where the beads are. But most of it's complete. I only cut myself on sewing needles four times today. I worked until my back hurt. And then I hung out for a bit.

James is at a dinner with all of his boyfriends. I hope he's having a good time. I had a panic because sweet peas mouth is still very swollen so I tried to give him a Benadryl and he started foaming at the mouth and crying and I thought he was choking it was really upsetting. But he's okay. I gave him some milk to get the taste out of his mouth. And I took a bath and tried to calm down. And now I'm going to work on my backpack for the field trip tomorrow. We are going to a ropes course. We're driving almost all the way to Virginia. I think. I'm not entirely sure where we're going. But I'm very excited. And it seems like only about half of our kids are actually coming so it maybe it'll just be like a nice chill day. Love a chill day.

So wish me luck. I am terribly afraid of heights so a Ropes Course in the trees is terrifying. But it'll be a good time. I love being in nature. But I love being with my kids. So it should be good. I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well. Be safe. Send Good Vibes.

[helplessyethopeful-blog]

Got mommy issues? Same.

Losing my brother in the family meant that the only ones left were us girls. Any normal family would say they had to stick together. But there was far from happiness under my roof.. but then again, that was my normal.

Who knew that getting beaten with broom handles, cable wires, fists, and anything else in arms reach could be the most painful things around? My sister and I unfortunately had the opportunity to find out. With my mom always drugged up it was left up to me to take care of my sister. She was after all the only person I had left. My mom had isolated us from the rest of the family. After all she couldn't let anybody see the bruises we were covered in. During the school year she always made sure to have our marks covered by whatever we were wearing. And we never told a soul about what was happening at home.

Until one night, I got brave. I guess I thought I was trying to do everyone a favor. I dont truly remember this night on my own, only from what the adults have told me. I waited until the middle of the night for my mom to be passed out on the couch as she always was and I tried to light her blanket on fire 6 times with the lighter she left out. I don't know if it was fear or just plain dumb. But it didn't work either way. This all happened at about 1 in the morning. Right after I called my moms best friend and left a voice mail on her machine stating that "I tried to kill my mom but it wouldn't work". Nobody found out about this until the next morning.

I was scared shitless. My mom didn't send me, nor my sister to school today. We weren't sick. Our bruises from the last beating were finally clearing up so why are we home?

I remember it was about noon time. I was in my sisters room, her sitting in my lap while we played with our toys. My mom called us out into the living room and said that no matter what she will always love us and that we were going away for a sleepover, in the moment we just didn't fully understand that she wasn't coming with us. I remember the social worker having 2 officers come upstairs and wait around while I packed me and my sister some clothes and toys for our sleepover. My mom said we would all be together again soon, that she needed to help to be able to take care of us again.

Who knew that, that wouldn't be for another 3 years.

3 years. 13 different homes. 13 different families. 13 different towns and schools. 13 different sets of rules to obey. All stuffed into 3 years. Fuck that.

About a year into foster care and I finally started getting weekend visits back home with my mom. It was a lot of fun lost of the time. My mom wasn't drinking or doing any lines. She was happier and was very kind compared to the woman I said goodbye to a year prior. Unfortunately for myself I ended up on my own though. My sister was ripped away from me, and I saw her maybe twice I'm the 2 years to follow. She was thrown around even more than I was. 17 homes in 3 years and 2 group homes. They all treated her like shit, as they had me. The last home we were in together, our foster moms name was Beverly. She was nice, but super strict about everything.. my sister was about 4ish at this time. It was about 11pm and my sister started throwing a tantrum, major because nobody would turn a light on for her. It was pitch black in the room we were stuck in. I didn't make a peep except for the minor "shh" I was giving my sister to try and calm her down. It didn't work. Beverly, this woman who took us in. Who was being paid to take care of us, took my 4 year old sister and made her stand outside in our backyard all alone in the middle of the night. To make matters worse, we lived in a heavy coyote area and Beverly had horses. A usual coyote snack if you don't take care of your pets. For a good hour my baby sister was screaming in my back window begging for help. It was cold. It was dark. And this bitch was just plain cruel. Only a couple days went by and I saw my sister for the last time for the next couple of months, when Beverly decided she wouldn't keep her anymore. Where were they taking her? When would I see her again? Who is going to take care of her if I'm not with her? She was all I had left... and then I had nothing.

About another 6 months had gone by and things were okay. I still hadn't completely gotten over the fact that my sister was gone yet and I guess you could say I learned my role in that house from that night with my sister and following. I guess in a way you could say I was the perfect child. But I was truthfully just afraid of what they would do to me if I stepped out of line. I still didnt know where they actually brought my sister.

This one day things finally seemed like they were looking up. I was on a home visit for the weekend with my mom. She seemed better. She wasnt drunk or fucked up. She was the exact opposite actually, compared to what I was used to.. she was kind and loving and like a true mom. I remember sitting on the floor while she played with my hair when she asked me "Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" In my opinion I always go for the bad news first so I can make myself feel better with the good news. She handed my a newspaper article and told me to just read it. My heart shattered in seconds. It was an obituary for my Uncle Joe, who happened to be my best friend, the only adult in my life to never fail me was gone. The article didn't explain much, but it was a suicide. He was battling depression and nobody saw it. The worst part out of all of it, I wasnt allowed to go to the funeral and my social worker wouldnt allow my mom to even tell me he had passed. I didn't find out until about 8 months after. The good news, I was going to be coming home for good in just a few short weeks!

Those "few short weeks" were the longest days to pass by. I just wanted to go home with my mom and sister and move on. Until i got home and learned that my sister wasnt coming back, that is. Why just me? Why isn't my sister coming home? Why won't they let her come back? Isn't my mom better? Isn't that why they let me come home? It didnt make any sense to me. Why me?

I guess it was a one-at-a-time kind of thing. I was back on track. Going to a new school, but back at home and actually feeling secure and happy again. My sister would be home in 2 months tops, as far as my mom knew anyways..

It was a regular day. School had just started, the teachers were calling out students names to make sure everybody was there and I got pulled to the nurse office. When I first went in I thought it was just a normal conversation to just make sure things were going good. She asked me if I knew a blonde woman named Erin and I had told her that she was my social worker. The nurse then got up and opened the door, with none other than Erin to be let in.

From what I remember, the conversation was short and straight to the point.

"I talked to your mom and were going to have to bring you to a new family today, you're mom says that she hates you and she doesnt want anything to do with you anymore."

Just like that, I was ripped from the perfect life I had been begging for. Where did I go wrong? Did I forget to clean my room? Did I make mommy mad? Did I forget my clothes or toys on the floor again? I just wanted a reason. Nobody had one.

I didnt find out for another year and a half, when my sister and I were finally sent back home, what truly happened on that day. Erin walked into my school and lied to my face. She told me that she talked to my mom, which was a lie. She told me my mom hated me and didn't want me anymore. I believed her and didn't talk to my mom for a good month. It was a lie. Instead of helping fix families, Erin was more than pleased to rip them apart. My mom was tricked into signing abandonment papers, signing away her rights to my sister and I. My mom never even knew I was brought back into foster care that day until 5 hours later when she went to pick me up from school.

Luckily enough for the sake of our lives, we got assigned a new social worker. Unfortunately I don't remember her name but she wasn't Erin and that was good enough for all of us. She actually seemed to listen to us about how we felt about things. She was actually helping my mom be a better mom. And my favorite part, she helped reunite us with my sister again.

All I wanted from the second I got torn from my sister, was to have my sister back. I fought to the tooth and nail to make sure she was protected. When we was finally able to come home I was more than thrilled but for some reason she wasnt. She was different. She was mean. And she didnt want anything to do with me anymore. She had been the only person I was more worried about than my own self. And she know barely wanted to hold a conversation with me, nevermind hold my hand and be my best friend as we were our entire lives before being split up. It was okay though. My mom said it was pretty much the trauma and instability that I just had to give her some time.

Time didn't help. My sister, was not my sister anymore... but atleast we were home, and home together where I could watch her.

[eruhamster]

i had a fucking lady in my line today who, in the middle of paying, looks at me and asks me if i can add a small bag of ice to her order. thats normal but you of course gotta go back and cancel the payment to do it, so i ask her if she can take her card out and she stares me in the eyes and says 'no' like i'm her 10-year-old son obnoxiously asking for snacks

i'm like 'uhh well i gotta...' and she doesn't say anything so i figure whatever. but apparently that got through to her so she took her card out when i wasnt looking. and then signed her name anyway????? and the screen was blank for a minute before she irritably bitches that she took her card out and i was like 'oh!! ok!' and go back and ring up the ice

and i tell her to pay again and she's like 'i signed my name. i paid already' and i said it didn't go through (smth about her tone made it so i couldn't even feign niceness anymire so i admit i had an attitude), she bitched and i was like 'well it was the computer...' and she was like 'well u told me to take my card out!!' bitch i didn't tell you to fucking sign your name like goddamn

i told her she shouldn't get charged twice and if she does she can go to guest service n she was like 'its not that easy' and left but holy shit did that condescending cunt get under my skin like no customer ever has just for how fucking cunty she was

[runawayruthie-blog]

No need to be a Princess

Day 20 : Vietnam / Laos : Hanoi/ Vientiane

Today was spent chilling and lazing around our hotel rooms waiting to leave for the airport. We as a group had decided to treat Sambo to a pair of runners (Trainers as the English had me saying on this whole trip)😂. Bec and lew were sent on the mission to purchase the right ones and collect all the dollas. After check out we gave Sambo the trainers (see its what I call them now🙈), he was very surprised and didn't know what to say. It was nice to give something back to him after all his hard work on the first half of the trip, he still had loads of work to do with us for the next half especially as we had a flight to catch today. We loaded onto the bus at half 1 to set off to Hanoi airport to catch our short flight to the capital of Laos, Vientiane. The flight was a v.short one, only 50 mins, Michael O'Leary could learn a thing or two from Lao Airline which is Laos equivalent to Ryanair. The flight itself was a short 50 mins, wasnt full and each passenger got served a snack 20/25 mins into the flight, who wouldve thought snacks were needed on such a short trip. once Landed with went through immigration as per usual when moving through the different countries there was Vietnameses immigration then Laos Immigration were we paid $35 for the visa. It was then time to get a short bus journey to our hotel in Vientiane where we'd stay for 1 night only. We all headed out to dinner as a group, I accidentally left my phone on the sofa in the lobby and only noticed when I got to the restaurant so I told Sambo and he headed back to the hotel to have a look for it because when he rang they said it wasnt there. Little did I know the girls had picked it up and hadnt given it back to me. I was ragin'😂. I felt awful for unintentionally making Sambo walk back to the hotel for me. Thankfully I didnt loose my phone but unfortunately I never got the girls pack for taking it 🙈. After dinner went bowling, which was great fun, I came second in my team but 5th overall.

Day 21: Laos - Vientiane/Vang Vieng

Tuk Tuk time again, majority of the group decided to explore Vientian themselves but some of us decided tog et a Tuk Tuk tour. We were brought to the main attractions of Vientiane. We saw That Luang, Patuxai Victory Monument, The Cooperative Orthotic and Prosthetic Enterprise (COPE) Centre and Wat Si Saket. I enjoyed this tour but I think it wouldve been better if we'd known exactly what places we were stopping at and why they were important. After a bit of googling when I got back I figured it. My favourite park of the tuk tuk tour was visiting the COPE  Centre, here we watched a documentary about how the US had a Secret war with Laos.The CIA backed a secret army in Laos to help fight the communist Pathet Lao and North Vietnamese between 1961 and 1973.. A lot of innocent people died during this period, almost 50,000. In 1964 Us warplanes carried out 580,000 bombing missions over Laos and dropped and almost 2.3 million tons of bombs. It is said that the in following years 200 peeople died per year due to bombs that hadn't initailly exploded when dropped. There is still a number of cluster bombs, bomb remenants and undenoated bombs all across Laos, innocent people are still dying due to these bombs. In the documentary we saw that the people of Laos collect the scrap metal to sell but sometimes that ''scrap metal'is a bomb. In the worst case secarnios the bombs have exploded and killed men, women and children. The COPE centre helps rehabilitate people that have been become victims of the unexploded bombs. They make prosthetic limbs and help with physio.  It was a real eye opening experience.  Once we got back from our Tuk Til tour we got lunch in JOMA bakery then hit the road to Vang Vieng.  The drive was amazing, the roads were meandering through the mountains, the view was just spectacular. Once we arrived to our hotel we headed out to dinner and then to my absolute favourite place...the Irish pub! ☘ You can take the girl out of Ireland but you can't take Ireland out of the girl. They had live music and Irish beer, which I didn't have cause yano Guinness is just to heavy for moi.

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Day 22: Laos - Vang Vieng

Have I kayaked before? Yes. Have I zip lined before? No. Spend the day doing both, hell yeah!. We spent our day kayaking down the Nam Song River. It was unbelievable, as Jenna said it felt like we were trapped in a computers home screen it was that pretty. I think my kayaking buddy, Katja, was not impressed with me at the beginning due to our boat capsizing. In my defence, I was fixing my go pro and she could've steered!( isn't that right katja 😂😂).its all part of the experience, we weren't the only one either. After kayaking we got to go ziplining, it was epic. I couldn't tell you night they were but the sign said over 200m, I'm just not sure if that was height or the distance it went. Once we had the adrenaline rush of zip lining, we went tubing in a cave, after we went for a walk through the cave with just a headlight to guide us through that pitch black. After an extremely eventful day we headed out for dinner in mind other than the Irish pub from the day before. This turned into a night out where I got punched in the face....accidentally, but hey it still happened. I was home relatively early, I don't think I'm cut out for late nights anymore.

Day 23: Laos - Luang Prabang

Majority of the day was spent travelling from Vang Vieng to Luang Prabang. We had one very sick passenger on this journey due to very little sleep, hangover and windy roads. Poor Lew 🙁, it was self inflicted though😂. It took almost 5 hours to get to Luang Prabang, again driving through the mountains on the long windy roads. The sights were beautiful especially where we stopped for lunch. It was breathe taking. Once we arrived at our hotel, we headed out with Sambo on an orientation walk of the quaint little town. We got brought to the food market and the night market, here we tried buffalo jerky and coconut pancakes?( I think that's what they were called). I wasn't a fan of the pancake but the buffalo jerky was delicious. It was then time for dinner, some went to Joma bakery whole the rest of us went to the food market. Here we got a to choose what meat we want and it was barbeques in front of us. I must say the food there was actually one of the best meals of the trip, it was so tasty.

Day 24: Laos - Luang Prabang

Today we got a well deserved lie in😍.  When I say lie in breakfast was at 8:30am, but after so many early mornings if consider it a lie on.  To fill our afternoon on Luang Prabang we went to a bear Sanctuary and the Kuang Si waterfalls. We explored the bear sanctuary and saw one 3 legged bear. They are wonderful animals, so playful with each other. After the bears we went to see the amazing waterfall that is Kuang Si Fall. I find myself saying "it was spectacular" or "there are no words to describe it", in this case I think the picture will speak the 1000 words I'm looking for. Once we got back to the hotel it was a quick change into respectful clothes to walk up 299 steps( thanks for counting Laura) to watch the sunset at Wat Chom Si temple. It was well worth climbing the step stairs to watch, it was magnificent again the pictures will speak a thousand words.

Day 25: Laos - Luang Prabang/ Pak Beng

Rise and shine! Another early start to head to our slow boat journey down the Mekong River to where we would be staying at our last honesty of the trip. Expectations had been lower as requested. The thought of the slow boat journey was worse than the journey itself, I coloured, read, watched Riverdale and played some card games. The 8/9 hour boat journey actually flew. We arrived at our home stay in Pak Beng. Pak beng is a minority village where the people speak their own language and not Lao. It is a very poor village. When we first arrived I was disappointed to hear there was no shower like the last homestay, but I eventually embraced being sweaty as did everyone else. We met the chief of the village who offered us their drunk of choice Rice wine mixed with beer Lao, it tasted of beer that hadn't been fully brewed. We played with the children, taught them a few words of English then had dinner. We were then showed to our rooms, when Sambo asked for 3 girls to volunteer, little did I know he was putting us in the chiefs house which was made of actual concrete unlike everyone else's accommodation. The rest of the group were split into 3 groups all boys together and all the girls together, it was against their beliefs to allowed men and women share a bed unless they were married. After a bit of a sing song with a drunk Sambo, we headed to our beds to try catch a few zZz's which turned out to be pretty impossible due to the massive storm thundering against the metal roof. Counting down the minutes until 5:30am so I could get up and get onto the boat to pee, brush my teeth and warm up. Even though the homestay was a massive culture shock, it was a great experience to see how those people lived with little to nothing, then we came strolling in giving out about not have a shower and whatnot, it gives you a different perspective on life.

Day 26: Laos/Thailand - Pak Beng/ Chiang Khong

Today was out last day in Laos and it was to be spent on another slow boat to the Laos/Thailand border. After the most dangerous walk of my life down from the village in the pouring rain to the boat, I was final able to have "shower" using a helluva lot of deoderising wipes, brushed my teeth and peed on toilet rather than into a hole in the ground!. It was glorious!. Breakfast was served around 7:30/8, it was good just eggs and bread. Later on our boat crashed into some rocks ( I think) which cut the engine out so we had to swap boats, luckily enough there was boat heading to the border to pick up a group doing the trip the opposite way to us. Once on the other boat, we started playing card games mainly spit, which I taught to anyone who would listen 😂. We had a championship to see who was the best spit player of the group. I then went for a short 2 hour nap, it was glorious. Finally we arrived at the border, got through the immigration process easy peasy and then we were on the way to out next hotel.