#i wasn't going to sleep until this was done

[signedaiko]

Hiiii! May I request some platonic headcanons for MTMTE? I was thinking about a g/n human reader pulling some pranks on some bots on the LL (Ratchet, Rodimus, Rewind) and what their reactions would be.

Ratchet | Rewind | Rodimus [MTMTE]

In which you try pulling a prank on some of your friends aboard the Lost Light.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Human | Autobot. Platonic.

Ratchet

Your friendship started with you making teasing comments, which eventually led to jokes and seemed to be verging towards pranks

Ratchet was a grumpy one, so while your jokes are welcome, there is a time and place for them

One of those times is not the first thing in the morning, especially when he's preparing to get into a surgery

And yet, as he went to enter his office, he was surprised to run into some kind of thin, transparent film that forced him back onto his aft

You'd spent the whole night lining the door of the medbay with several rolls of plastic wrap, knowing his optics would still be woken up

It came to bite you in the ass; he wakes you up from your sleep after the all-nighter by yelling your name and banging at your door

He's pissy, and now he's making you sit on his desk all day, watching the surgery, and banging his fist on the table every time you start to doze off

You can sleep when he's done and when he feels you've learned your lesson for startling him so early

Rewind

You were the life of the party, in many ways

A lot of Rewind's best recordings come from you

Were all humans this fun? Or were you some rarity?

Either way, he's a big fan, and he's always got his camera rolling if you're there

You also make him feel special because none of your jokes or pranks are aimed at him

In fact, you usually request his help with pranks, be it as small as catching it on tape or something like replaying someone's voice to lure another of the crew

That's what made your plan against him so effective; he never expected himself to be a target of your genius

Until one late evening, he enters the habsuite to get some rest and-

Wait

Why is everything on the wrong side?

Chromedome is there resting, and Rewind wakes him up to ask what's going on

"What are you talking about? Are you feeling okay?"

Chromedome fully convinces Rewind he may have something wrong until he pulls up a clip of the room

"Fuck." He hears your small voice come from somewhere behind Chromedome, and he's running at you

"Both of you! Traitors!"

Rodimus

Rodimus knew you better than most others, and while he pretended to scold you in front of Ultra Magnus all the time, he liked the energy you brought

Besides, he was always pulling small pranks of his own, usually on Ultra Magnus, which was cheap and easy, but pranks nonetheless

That meant he presented a challenge, though

Rodimus was very good at telling you were up to something and had caught many of your pranks before

Unfortunately for him, most is not all, and he'd once again been fooled by your trickery

You'd mixed powdered sugar into his paint polish, which made it look shiny at first, but once dried, it left him very sticky and matte and made his paint look uneven

Oh, he knew who'd done it the moment someone pointed it out, and he wasn't going to let you get away with it so easily

Next thing you know, Siren is over the ship's comms claiming there's an emergency and that Rodimus is severely injured in the med bay

Of course you go racing to see him, unaware the announcement was only to your hab suite

He sat there, Rewind by his side, recording as you burst in with emotions evident on your face, only to realize what he'd done

Asshole

Authors Note - I am actually, secretly, the least funny person in the universe so I hope these parnks were realistic in some shape or form! Thank you for requiesting 🩵

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Something SOMETHING about that big strong absolute unit of a man (Nikolai) being reduced to nothing, kneeling down at Price's feet. Complete subspace. Ready to worship whatever comes out of Prices mouth. Doesn't even care what he gets out of it, it's Price that matters and it's Price he desperately wants to please. I'm going feral I need this man destroyed

Nikolai serves John.

cw: Dom/sub, oral sex, handjob.

Nikolai knelt at Price's feet, with a pillow to cushion his knees. The first time they had done that he had stayed on the floor for three hours and his joints had seized painfully. Price had been more angry with himself for not thinking, because Nik wasn't the usual sprightly young submissive he played with, and perhaps Price had been so excited by the sheer size and experience of the man that wished to be brought to bear, that he had forgot about how much Nik still needed to be cared for. It wouldn't happen again. Nik was a rare vintage - the older gent who wanted desperately to serve - and he needed to be savoured.

His head rested against Price's thigh, his eyes lidded, as Price stroked his hair, fingers combing through silky strands that had been washed and brushed in preparation for their session. Price had given strict instructions, right down to the clothes Nik had worn upon arrival, and Nik had obediently followed them all to the letter.

Those same clothes were neatly folded on the chair opposite. Nik was completely naked but for the ropes criss-crossing in a harness and arm tie. His arms were secured halfway up his back, forearms on top of each other, the lines of the ropes worked artfully around the curves of his chest and shoulders, framing them for Price's enjoyment.

It was a relaxed rig. Only intended to make Nik feel enclosed and subdued, not challenged. Artistry over containment. And Price had enjoyed the process of tying Nik up, feeling him relax against the silk, arching into Price's palms and fingers as he had worked. Slow, slow descent into the cradle of trust and submission.

Today was about letting him rest. It had been a difficult week. They had called on Nik three times to put his life on the line to bail them out, and he had come through every bloody time. No hesitation. But Price had seen the tension in his strong back, the tiredness in the lines of his craggy face, and had known he needed some time under to find his equilibrium. Price would give him a massage in their bed later, working out the last of the knots and checking for rope burn, and Nik would sleep deeply and serenely in his arms after.

Price let his pen fall to the desk and looked down at the handsome creature at his feet. He stroked over Nik's broad brow and down the lines at the corner of his eye to Nik's full lips. They were so soft, treated to some balm after his shower as Price had instructed. The perfect contrast to the rough of his stubble. Price felt Nik lap at the pad of his thumb, eyes fluttering, and Price hummed. "Good lad, askin' for what you want."

Price slipped his thumb into Nik's mouth, brushing over his teeth to the pliant wetness of his tongue. Nik's lips closed around his knuckle and he sucked with a soft moan, eyes closing. Price stroked the bristles of his beard, fingertip tracing the outline of his adam's apple as it bobbed, cradling his face against his palm. Nik flexed against the confines of the rope, his thick arms making the knots creak, his wrists twisting.

"Easy, easy," Price chided, smoothing his free hand through Nik's hair. He turned his chair until his knees bracketed Nik's broad shoulders and drew him closer. Nik's eyes dipped, his mouth hanging open as Price pulled his jaw down. "You've been so good tonight, sweet'eart. Gonna give ya what ya really want."

Nik panted, knees shuffling, and his throat bobbed beneath Price's fingers, swallowing the sudden well of saliva as he anticipated his next treat. Price undid his belt buckle and zipper slowly, watching Nik's pupils blow wide, his cheeks flush red. Nik quivered in his grip, barely restrained in his eagerness, and Price heard the soft whine of longing as he pulled his cock out over the waistband of his boxers. He was already so hard, Nik's willing submission, the sight of his powerful body trussed up at his feet, made him want to sink his damn teeth in and rut like an animal.

"C'mon then, sweet thing," Price murmured, guiding Nik's chin forward. He traced the tip of his prick over Nik's upper lip, felt the puff of his breath and heard the tight noise of desperation that spilt from his throat, before moving his thumb to Nik's teeth and feeding his glans over the flat of Nik's tongue. "Oh, fuck me, you are a bloody delight." Price moaned low in his throat, biting on his lower lip as pleasure curled in a tight knot in his hips. Fuck yes.

Nik's mouth welled with saliva, his chin pushing against Price's grip, pleading with wide eyes. But Price knew if he let go Nik would choke himself on his prick, and while that was fuckin' hot, it wasn't really what Price was aiming for tonight. He eased Nik further down his shaft, his crown brushing over the ridges at the top of his mouth until he nudged the spongy softness at the back. "Good lad, nice and easy, such a pretty thing, aren't ya? Fuck."

Nik looked at him with those sad brown Labrador eyes and Price knew he didn't believe a word. He smoothed his hand over Nik's hair again, stroking the backs of his fingers over the softness beside his eyes, down the rough stubble of his cheek. "Look at what you do t' me, love. So 'ard for ya. Just been thinkin' about this all afternoon. Stretchin' yer clever mouth open on my cock. Only one fer me, love."

Nik's eyes softened and Price surrendered a little control, shifting his thumb out of Nik's mouth to the firm line of his jaw. He let Nik suckle his crown, cheeky tongue teasing through his slit, mouth watering at the salty taste of precum. Price leaned back in his chair, lifting his hips forward to expose more of his length for Nik's attention. "Slow," he growled, loosening his grip a touch more.

Nik pulled off his tip with a soft pop and sucked down his length, trailing wet kisses down to the base where he nuzzled into the dark curls of Price's pubic hair. Nik's lashes fluttered against his cheeks, and Price admired the sight of that handsome face next to the ruddy, thick length of his cock. Such a pretty fuckin' view. "Bloody 'ell, gorgeous, how'd I get so lucky, huh?"

Nik looked dazed. Drunk on the taste of Price's cock and the rich, musky scent of his balls. He licked back up to the tip, his tongue far too fuckin' clever for its own good as it swirled over a vein, flicked at Price's frenulum. Price's hips bucked, his fingers tightening in Nik's hair.

"Fuckin' tease," Price growled, taking Nik's chin to pull him down his length. "Time to get to work. Yeah, fuck... Thassit. Good lad, hmm."

His fingers pushed further into Nik's hair, urging him lower until Price's crown popped into the resistance of his throat. Nik was talented. He could suck dick better than any man Price had ever had the pleasure of playing with, and he swallowed now, throat spasming as his lips stretched wide around the base. Nik relaxed his neck, his shoulders slumping, his eyes fluttering closed, as he surrendered control to Price completely. He wanted to have his mouth used, to have his throat fucked, and have no agency over it whatsoever.

Price knew he could be as rough as he liked and Nik would take it. He'd be hard too, his fat cock hanging heavy and desperate between his thick thighs. But Price liked longing it out, teasing in and out of Nik's slack mouth and spasming throat until they were both panting. He scruffed the back of Nik's hair and thrust up from the seat of his chair, setting a slow, constant rhythm; wet and deep and so, so fuckin' hot as Nik moaned, slurped and gurgled around his girth.

Nik's eyes watered, leaving tracks down his cheeks, throat clutching, saliva dripping over his lower lip to wet his chin. He dissolved in Price's grip, nothing but a warm, wet mouth for Price to fuck, and so eager to be of service; the act of supplication, Price's appreciative moans, his praise - "so fuckin' gorgeous Nik, fuckin' look at you" - captured him in a feedback loop of euphoria that sunk him lower into a soft, safe headspace.

Price drew him back to the tip once and Nik looked so beautifully wrecked, eyes misty, jaw slack, saliva and precum connecting his tongue and lips in long strings to Price's cock, his lips red, full, glistening. Nik's hips were twitching, painfully hard cock rutting desperately into the air in search of friction, drooling in a pool of precum onto the floor. So turned on by being used at Price's mercy.

"Jesus..." Price breathed, gazing appreciatively down the length of Nik's body, before thrusting back in with a bitten off growl of raw need. It didn't take long after that, knowing his cock had reduced Nik to pliant bliss, and Price sank deep into Nik's throat as he came. The fact that Nik tried to swallow it all but gagged on the sheer amount made Price moan, cock giving another keen pulse.

Price slumped back in his chair and let Nik's face fall to his thigh, his softening cock resting along his cheek. He stroked tendrils of black hair from Nik's tear streaked face. "Such a good lad, Nik. Always so perfect for me," he murmured. "C'mon, up here."

Nik's legs shook as he stood, unsteady and uncertain without the use of his arms, but he trusted Price to catch him if he fell. Price gathered his large body into his lap, Nik's knees sliding along the seat either side of his hips, and Nik slumped gladly against the warmth of his body, chest to chest, his hands only twisting a little against the ropes. When Price reached between them and took Nik's cock in hand, Nik let out a soft plea. "John..."

"Yes, love," Price answered, stroking slowly from base to tip. Nik was so wet, the glide was easy, his shaft like steel beneath the velvet-soft of his slick skin. Price teased his foreskin a little, gliding it back and forth over his crown, and Nik moaned into the crook of his neck, slit leaking thick beads of precum.

"John..." He said again, and Price felt the nip of his teeth; Nik trying to taste more of his skin as Price's touch teased him higher. "Ah, hnn, ah... boistree, John... poszhyu--ahh!"

Nik only ever got loud like this. He was quiet in bed outside of a scene; low moans, panting, maybe the odd growl, but this desperate, he found his voice, and it was sweeter 'n any romantic one-liner he could muster. Price grinned into his neck, pressed a kiss to his fluttering pulse before capturing it in his teeth, squeezing his prick firmly on the upstroke. "G'won, Nik. There's a good lad, c'mon..."

Nik straightened, sucking in deep, shuddering gasps, his hips bucking into Price's palm. Price slipped a hand over the curve of Nik's arse, sliding his forefinger over his hole to his taint. Nik arched with a soft cry, which only served to reveal all that lovely furred chest for worship. Bisected by rope, Price had made sure to frame his tits perfectly in full hope they would be underneath his mouth soon enough. He sucked over one with hungry, open-mouthed kisses, tongue swirling through Nik's dark pelt of hair as he worked across to the dusky blush of a nipple. He flicked it with the tip of his tongue until it hardened, and then sucked it into his mouth.

Nik writhed, gasping and crying out, his voice breaking around Price's name, his entire body pulling taut, stomach bunched and chest tight under Price's lips. Price pushed up against Nik's taint, rubbing in a firm circle as his hand moved quicker over his shaft, twisting a little on the downstroke just as Nik liked it, sucking harder on his captured nipple.

Nik sobbed out Price's name as he reached his peak, his toes curling, knees clamping hard against Price's hips. His own stuttered into Price's grip, cock throbbing as it emptied thick ropes of cum over Price's t-shirt. Price eased his pace but kept stroking until Nik was hunched over and whimpering pitifully. He nudged Nik's face over until he could reach his mouth, forcing his tongue between quivering lips to taste his own release, swallowing Nik's pleas. When Nik began to soften, twitching with overstimulation, Price stopped, stroking his thigh tenderly instead. "Such a good lad, Nik. So proud of you. Yer did everythin' I asked."

Nik slumped forward, gasping into Price's neck, and Price reached behind his back to tease out the knots binding his wrists. He eased the rope away gently, guiding each arm down from Nik's back, and then slowly tugging the harness off until the ropes could flutter to the floor. "Deep breaths, sweet'eart. I gotcha. Thassit."

Price stroked his flat palms up and down Nik's back, nuzzling a kiss to his neck. He let Nik float for a while longer, before urging him off. "C'mon, bed, gonna look you over."

Nik let himself be guided through the door into Price's quarters, and melted gratefully into the fleece blankets and soft cotton sheets. Price found the Savlon and the massage oil, kicking off his clothes so he could join Nik in bed without a stitch separating them. It meant his cock could sit in the cleft of Nik's arse while he gave him his rub down and Price could enjoy all that plush fur when Nik curled around him later.

"Tuy prekrasen," Price murmured into the back of Nik's neck.

"John," Nik said, so full of affectionate surprise that Price couldn't help but smile into his hair.

"Did I get it right?"

"Da, you are..." Nik yawned into the pillow, "...magnificent."

Price stroked the backs of his fingers down Nik's spine and kissed his shoulder. "Not got a patch on you, love."

Nik hummed. One day, John hoped, Nik would believe it.

[bluespinksyellows]

Does anyone have any good fic recs for a rich stiles au?

I've had this one idea where his grandma on his mom's side is a billionaire but he doesn't know her because his mom ran away from home but then his grandma died or something and all of the money goes to him and he inherits all of her assets and properties and cars and stuff.

He doesn't tell the pack or anything but he also doesn't hide it and always just buys things for everyone.

When him and Scott go to dinner he pays. When he goes shopping with Erica he pays for everything. After Derek gets the loft Stiles buys a bunch of IKEA furniture or something and stocks the kitchen with a bunch of cooking tools like pots pans all that stuff. And he pays for all the groceries too(he likes cooking for his boyfriend). Also he pays the bills for the sheriff and Melissa but without them knowing somehow.

They don't realize that anything is weird until they see him walking out of a huge construction site while signing papers or something. They tell him to stop bothering the construction workers and that he needs to stop trespassing before he gets arrested. And he's just all nonchalant like "actually I own the property and I'm signing these papers to approve a few things".

As it turns out Stiles noticed that Isaac was having a hard time in foster care and was basically homeless. He had overheard Isaac talking to Boyd about how he was lucky he could stay with Derek and didn't have to sleep in the streets. He started noticing all the homeless people in town and decided that he would make a homeless shelter for them to stay somewhere and get help to make resumes, get jobs, get clothes and necessities.

And he contacted the local food kitchen and started a partnership so that the people from the shelter could go there for meals and he would help pay for the food and maybe help them buy a better building and stuff.

Stiles then goes in depth about all the things he had done like sponsoring a bunch of small businesses that were starting to blow up(he was really proud of them), investing in green companies to help global warming(those polar bears looked real sad), donating supplies to organizations in remote parts of the world so they can build schools and homes(everyone needs an education Scotty), donating nice clothes and bags, diapers, toys, and baby food to DV shelters(baby stuff is expensive dude), donating money to research centers for epilepsy and other conditions(they gave him a pamphlet if you wanna read it), building a psych ward that actually helps you with mental health(eichen house it terrible), etc.

The pack get more and more surprised throughout his speech, their eyebrows are basically in their hairline. When he finally stops talking he just looks at them like 🙂 with his hands in his pockets just standing there. The pack just erupt and ask him a bunch of questions until someone finally asks how he can afford all that and he explains what happened with his grandma.

Scott then asks him why he didn't say anything and Stiles is like "I thought you knew" he then tells the pack about all the ways he most definitely wasn't hiding it and the pack just realize that they were idiots.

[jules-ln]

Ok you guys I went to sleep at 1 am and woke up at fucking 5 am to watch arcane so here are my thoughts/review:

After I finished it, first of all, I was mad lmao, then I thought about it for a moment and I started crying, but like ugly crying with sobs and everything because holy shit Jayce and Viktor, then I stopped crying, thought about it a bit more, and I got mad Again lmao

Now spoilers

It was a fucking mess lmao

Like seriously what the fuck fortiche, what the fuck Riot, it was such a fucking mess, it was all over the place, the story was rushed, the characters arcs were rushed, there was a lot of things that felt very forced because they didn't have time to let it happen naturally and I can tell a lot of things that would've been good were left in the inkpot

About Cait and Vi: I truly and honestly couldn't have care less about them lmao

I know I know

But I already fucking knew they were going to end up together that Vi was going to forgive Cait for being a fascist etc etc, for me their arc was already finished and I didn't have time to care about them because I was more worried about what the heck would happen to the other characters and how in hell would they wrap up that mess. If they would've cut all their scenes and gave that time to Mel or something, I would've been so fucking happy

Also, the sex scene annoyed me so much lmao, I was thinking "IF YOU WANTED A SEX SCENE YOU SHOULD'VE ADDED ANOTHER SEASON FORTICHE! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT NOW!" lmao

Mel: I liked the concept of her arc, I like the theory, I can see their vision, what they were going for

But in reality it wasn't fucking that

Like, I like the idea of having Mel realize that she was much more than the daughter of her mother, that she had her own value for who she was instead of simply being the blood in her veins. But boy, it didn't feel at all like she realized that lmao

It just felt like she was "now I'm confident enough about myself to confront my mother because the writers said so" like what? This is what I mean when I say that a lot of things felt forced

Viktor: ok, ok I'm just like *heavy sigh*

To be honest part of why I was mad at first was Viktor's character, I was like "So what? You stop being a humanity loving pacifist to become a fucking control freak who hates free will and emotions just like that?" But then I thought about it, and if you frame his arc through Jayce, it actually made sense, because you see, everything he did was for Jayce. When he came back and went to build his cult, I mean, Commune, he was doing their hextech dream, the thing they always wanted, the thing Jayce always wanted

When Jayce went and rejected him by shooting him in the chest (thanks Jayce) he was hurt, he lashed out and wanted to get rid of all emotions, ironically it was a very emotional reaction. So then as soon as Jayce was back with him, he realized his mistake and stopped

So yeah, it makes sense, the problem is that I shouldn't have to stop and piece together a character motivation like that Fortiche what the hell. I know some people say "let the audience do some work!" But I feel like I'm doing all the fucking work here

What they did was great! Good! But just like Mel, give it more fucking time please

And the machine herald design was a bit ugly lmao, like his design in the game looks better, but thinking about it, and looking at the other robots design and how Viktor dresses in the series. I think it makes sense that this specific Viktor would design something like that

EDIT: Oh! I Also forgot to add:

My favorite scene of him was when Jayce was taking out all of those things one by one and Viktor waited until he was done to push them all back LMAO he didn't need to do that

Jayce:

Jayce, what the hell

Like, I understand why Viktor acted like he did, but like, what was up with you?

I mean, the end implied that he knew all along what was going to happen (machine herald, save Viktor etc), but like, why did he acted so angry at the commune then? He seemed so erratic and Angry like he didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew, and then he switched back to normal but like, what was up with all of what happened before? If anything, why didn't just he let Viktor get to the hexgate peacefully and then talk to him? Idk, it just seems to me like Jayce was the character the most affected by the crossfire of the plot happening because the writers had a very specific ending in mind and no time to get to that ending naturally

Also "hextech is bad" Then proceeds to let everyone keep using it lmao

Ambessa and Singed: of all the characters I think these one were the worst of all lmao

Like the plot completely changed Jayce and forced Mel, but like, these two just were put aside? Lmao

Everyone at Fortiche was like "Fuck Ambessa and Fuck Singed" which is a shame because these two were really interesting

Ekko and Jinx:

I think of all the other characters, these two were the best ones

I didn't feel like their arc was forced, it felt like they were given enough time, but you know why? Because their arc started in season 1, in this season they just finished it

The only thing I will complain about is Isha, because it just feels like they used her and completely discarded her after like a broken toy. Like Silco was waaay better handled than her

Heimmerdinger: I mean, I didn't care much about him lmao, he was only there because the plot needed him, and when he wasn't necessary anymore they got rid of him lmao

But it was less obvious than Isha at least

Viktor and Jayce: now, this is the part that got me fucking crying so much, and this along with Ekko and Jinx are the things that make me feel conflicted about this ending and not hate it as much as I would otherwise

It was all left ambiguous, and the cynical part of me thinks "of course they can't make it any more obvious because then the dude bros who main Viktor and Jayce in LoL are going to cry about how they don't want to play as a man who wants to kiss another man"

But if I take it at face value... Ngl guys, it was good

Like how Jayce chose Viktor after everything he did, how Viktor tried to push Jayce away to protect him but Jayce refused to leave, how all they wanted wasn't progress, or fame or power, but simply be together. And they got to be together in the end

Damn, I'm crying again

I JUST FUCKING WISH EVERYTHING AROUND IT WASN'T A MESS!

And I wanted to add, when everyone in Zaun went to help everyone in Piltover to deal with Ambessa, I wouldn't have done that, fuck them, they put a fucking fascist dictator on power, probably made a lot of people "dissappear" and just like that they are like "Guys, we're sorry, we need your help now :(" fuck that

In the end, it doesn't feel like Fortiche earned this ending. Season 2 should've ended with Arc 2, and Arc 3 should've been a whole season

And I can't give it a rating, because I don't know, I didn't like a lot of it, but there were some parts that I really fucking loved

But if someone asked me if it was worth to give the series a try, I would say yes, but don't get your hopes up for the ending lmao

[theoceanoasis]

Hi,

Can we get a part 3 to Rodimus secretly carrying drift & Ratchets sparkling?

Maybe at the dinner its revealed its drift & ratchets sparkling?

Rodimus keeps pushing off the dinner until he’s showing which happens early on because it’s actually two bitties. The other is just hiding.

He paced back and forth knowing he needed to get ready for the dinner but finding himself unable to. He didn't want to go. He couldn't force himself to act like he didn't know the truth.

He saw the look in Ratchets optics. Some part of him knew the truth and it terrified him. They had so much more influence then him. They'd already made it clear they didn't want a relationship with him.

If they knew the truth he was scared they'd take his sparkling away from him. He didn't want to think Drift capable of such a thing but neither of them could carry and they both wanted a sparkling. Maybe if he was desperate enough.

Maybe if he thought about it for too long and all the things he's done wrong his best friend would think it was for the best. His sparkling would be taken from him and he'd never get to see them again.

He doubted Ratchet would have a problem with it. He'd probably even encourage it. He'd never liked him only tolerated him when they slept together. If he found out he was sparked with his child he would take them away from him.

He rushed to the bathroom feeling sick and threw up. He then laid on the floor staring at the ceiling feeling dizzy.

His comm rang and he answered it without thought.

"Roddy?"

"Drift?"

He croaked.

"You don't sound good."

"I'm not feeling well."

"Do you need us to check in on you?"

"What's the symptoms?"

Ratchet asked having come over when he mentioned not feeling well.

"I feel dizzy and I threw up. I didn't sleep well last night."

"Get some rest we'll cancel the dinner."

"Okay."

He shivered.

"If you continue not feeling well call us and we'll come get you."

"Okay."

He lied even though he had no intention of doing that. Hanging up the comm he laid there for a long time.

He knew it wasn't over and that it wouldn't be long before Drift was trying to reschedule.

He pushed it off for as long as possible, always having an excuse and avoiding Drift and Ratchet. It wasn't easy because his pre natal appointments were at their clinic. But he managed to schedule his appointment with other medics.

His belly was growing quickly which he'd been alarmed about because everything he read said it was too soon.

His medic reassured him that it was fine and after doing an ultrasound he was shocked to find out he was having twins. One had been hiding behind their sibling which is why they hadn't been picked up yet.

Leaving his appointment he'd been so distracted with the news he didn't notice Drift or Ratchet who all but trapped him.

"What is it?"

He looked between the two of them trying to hide his nervous he was.

"We want you to have dinner at our house."

He tried to argue but Ratchet cut him off.

"Don't even think about coming up with an excuse otherwise we'll go to your house."

"Ratchet."

Drift admonished and then turned to him.

"I've barely seen you recently and I want to catch up and see how you are doing."

Drift looked down at his sparked belly and he put a hand on it.

Drift seemed dissapointed when he noticed the large swell of his belly and he gave him a confused look until he realized. They didn't know he was carrying twins and with his belly this big it meant he was farther along then they realized. Which would mean they weren't the sires.

Relaxing slightly knowing his secret was a little more safe he agreed to the dinner. As long as they thought he was farther along then he actually was. They wouldn't wonder if they were the sire.

[blissfulrain12]

The Psych Evals Are Useless!

I see the fandom put a lot of emphasis on the psych evals so I feel like I need to say this: THEY SUCK!!!!

First of it's just a checklist of questions being asked by employees who aren't mental health professionals. If it can accurately assess anything it's very limited.

Second apparently Curly has answered the questions the exact same way at least twice with no real follow up. Like he can just give memorised answers while actively spacing out mid conversation during the evaluation and still pass.

Third no one looks over them. They just get filed away.

Fourth even if someone were to fail there's nothing that can be done for them. There's no redundancy in the crew so they can't be placed off duty cause there's no one to pick up the slack. Any medical intervention like medication that might be available will come out of the employee's pay which actively discourages using it.

Fifth there's no mental health support for the medical staff performing the evals. That's just a huge oversight that could compromise the rest of the crew's mental health.

Sixth if the one question we hear Curly read is anything to go by the psych eval isn't even about mental wellness. It's focused on being a good employee. Whether they can still do their jobs not if they need mental health support.

I know people focus on the evals catching Jimmy but even an effective general psych eval might not catch Jimmy cause he's not actively distressed until he's been fired. Jimmy has issues but he's functioning and arguably happy on the Tulpar until he gets fired. Even then Jimmy being upset about that is normal it's what he does with that upset that isn't. For Jimmy to have gotten help someone would have to recognize that the way he treats Curly is abusive and intervene.

And not just Curly by the way. I know there's this emphasis on Curly being Jimmy's friend and supervisor but he's also his victim and based on what we see of their interactions he's been Jimmy's victim for a long time. Victims aren't responsible for their abusers. For example, Anya is in charge of the crew's mental health but when she can't properly do that with Jimny because she's both not given the proper resources and because he's sexually harassing her (at the very least since the game is unclear about when the rape occurred) we understand. When it comes to abusive behaviors it's up to everyone to keep an eye out.

In any case the person a good psych eval could have helped is Curly. Even with his repeated answers and the ineffectiveness of the PE eval Curly still pings as something being wrong. And when it comes to Curly there's a lot going on with him. He's sleep deprived both because of company policy and apparent insomnia. His work load has increased with more and more things on the ship becoming dependent on him since according to Swansea's comments it wasn't always like this. He's going through a crisis about his life's direction and feels trapped in his current job and feels like his life is something he's trying to run from. And most urgently he's actively in an abusive situation that he'd need help realizing and getting away from.

If PE cared more for its employees and took their mental health seriously Curly would have been better supported. The only thing the psych evals in the game are good for is shielding Pony Express. If things go wrong they can say they did routine evals and the employees passed them and if need be scapegoat the Nurse and Captain for not doing a good enough job.

So yeah, the psych evals are useless for the employees' well being but super useful for the company to escape responsibility.

[clubsmarties]

Eli smirked and chewed his bottom lip. "Tell you what, once we get home and after we say goodnight, we'll sneak peek one thing off our list," the list in question was the things they hadn't done in months. Sure, this time they'd have to get creative with her protruding belly but a challenge he knew they'd excel at. "I am too not gonna lie. At least it'll give us some time and her some time to see what it's like to have a sibling like best friend. I honestly can't believe we're all having girls first. I thought since Aaron had brothers that that track record would continue." His laughter rang out as he knew that would catch her attention. "First off, when you're out of the shower and you let your hair air dry but it starts getting curly," that sight always had him staring. There was something so sexy about her hair like that. "Then, it's when you introduce yourself at work. The sexiest one of all is truly when you steal, er...borrow my sweatshirts that you never give back."

He smiled as his lips were still close to her fingertips. "So you're saying you want me to walk slower like a snail? Would that be better?" Eli couldn't help but joke since if she asked he'd do anything she asked. "I'm not sure but wouldn't that be a federal crime if they touched?"

He cringed knowing how right she was. "Poor ten babies being nameless. They'd just be baby numbers at that point. Like what's that show juju was obsessed with, oh right, Umbrella Academy. Wasn't there a kid named Seven?" Just because he wasn't really watching didn't mean he hadn't paid attention when the girls took over the TV. "I don't know. We shall see after we get our first out. But I do think there's less pressure after the first since you're a little more confident. And that was on my sleep deprived self when I came up with Rosebud. Soon as we knew it was a girl that nickname just clicked."

"She's already on our side." The proud smile spread over his features as the thought of their girl became more of a reality. "I can't believe she'll come meet us in a little under 4 weeks. That's insane to me." The Phillips under one roof was insanity but in the same place that was a dream. "It will get chaotic but it'll be so much fun. We'd put them to work the night shift with Rosebud." Laurel brought up a good point. "You know what, that's a good point. We need to take her to the cabin in Chicago. I feel like you can't go anymore but maybe we can go to that indoor Christmas festival. Something to get us out of the house." He watched her get up and was ready to render aid as he got up after her. Taking her hand was the normal and interlocked it. "Hmm I don't know. I may say debatable if he's still thinking I hate him."

They moved through the crowds easily until they found his siblings. "You guys ready to go?"

Laurel's smirk couldn't be contained, his raised eyebrows inviting her to make a move. She understood what he was communicating, and she wanted nothing more than to oblige. Humming in thought, she answered. "Oh, but it is up to you my love. I'll misbehave as often as you'd like me to." Tiny best friends. Laurel was giddy, just thinking of their girls spending time together from day one. "Tiny best friends growing up together, I'm very excited." She had always felt so grateful for her friendship with Juju - the love and care they shared for each other. Their daughter would be immensely lucky to find that in a friend so early in life. "Really?" Now, he was intriguing her. "If not the badge, what else would make me a sexy rebel?"

She loved telling him just how attractive he was, it was something she had never shied away from. From the start, she loved giving him details. The many different reasons he caught her attention. A small laugh fell from her lips when he kissed her fingertips. Softly tracing his face was Laurel's happy place. An amused sigh followed, shaking her head. "Hm, I do try, but I can only waddle so fast. I just can't get to that door fast enough. I just hope they enjoy the sight of you. They can look, but they can't touch." And, even that was already pushing it for her. "I'll happily be biased my whole life."

Her laughter vibrated against her lips, nodding in agreement with him. Being unconventional was definitely very reminiscent of them, but it was also one more thing that she loved about them. "Eight or ten, oh my goodness - can you imagine that? They'd be nameless forever. Or, do you think it gets easier after our first? It is a special one, and I love that she can keep the nickname you gave her." Laurel's smile was wide upon hearing their girl's name once again, it felt more real each time. Her hand reached over and rested it right over his. "I think that's a yes babe, I'm glad baby Rosaline has confidence in us taking them on."

"All the Phillips in one place, I don't know if I'm ready," she teased, her hand now moving to caress the back of his neck. Just to give herself something to do. "Long distance with her aunts would be tough, going all the way out to Chicago. Though, who knows, maybe she'd love the snow. Early night works for me, I'm dreaming of our bed already." The fluffed up pillow and their blanket. She took the last bite of her churro before crumbling the napkin in her hand, "yup I'm all ready." It took her an extra minute to stand up, using the arm rest for support. "Let's go see them," taking his hand and locking their fingers together. "Maybe Isa finally cracked a smile."

[dawnthefluffyduck]

One minute til' midnight (more design-accurate sketches below)

Yeah y'all know the drill by now, this fine specimen from this wonderful story by @patchwork-crow-writes

[daydream-the-demon]

I'm the [tumblr] person who overuses comments in tags.

[tumblr] autosaved my tags even though I used them once.

Look in the tags and have a laugh.

(Possible tag game?) @author-of-the-year @jenumarts @thonethatflies620 @iamunabletothinkofablogname @ all my mutuals

[eggmeralda]

I need a massive sudden hyperfixation shock to happen again

[born-to-lose]

Missing people and regretting shit o'clock

[nuwanders]

.

[dullgecko]

Riz didn't sleep all that much but even he had his limits, one that he found himself hitting in a rather literal sense as the dawn sunlight started to filter in through the window. The detectives nodding head smacking audibly into the desk as he drifted off while reading through another long-forgotten piece of highly critical paperwork the previous king had left forgotten to molder in a corner of the office.

The sudden pain on his forehead woke him with a jolt and he groped for his arcubus, half-asleep brain thinking he was being attacked for a second before he realised what had happened and calmed down. Riz gingerly touching the swiftly developing welt on his forehead and hissing as pain radiated out from the spot. He'd gotten less injured fighting an archfae for fucks sake, and now he'd been defeated by paperwork of all things. Typical.

At least the office was less of a disaster area than it was when he started. He'd managed to sort through a decent chunk of it before even starting to sign off on things. Anything he deemed suitible for the quickly assembled council he'd called for, mostly the goblins who had been desperatly holding the kingdom together on their own while the previous king was off kidnapping people, was turfed back out of the office until nearly a whole third of the paperwork was gone.

He wasn't sure quite how long he'd been at it, but given there were at least four untouched meals on the low table on the other side of the desk he'd unearthed from under a mound of papers, he guessed it had been a while. Now that he wasn't hyper focusing on his task he felt like his body was throwing up every error message possible in order to get his attention. The headache that had been a background throb as he was reading screaming to the forefront and making him lean back in his plush chair and push his palms against his eyes. Fuck. Okay. Maybe it was time to take a break?

Riz pushed the chair back away from the desk with a loud scraping sound, throwing the completed document on his growing 'done' pile before staggering out of the office. The noise he was making was obviously enough to alert someone that he was on the move because he'd hardly made it three steps down the corridor before Ick came skidding around the corner at the far end behind him. Riz sighing and flicking an ear towards him to track his movements as the Royal Advisor rushed to catch up with him and match his pace.

"Ah! Good Morning, Your Majesty. I must thank you for getting through the backlog so swiftly yesterday but I just have a few mo-"

Riz held his hand up to stop him, Icks mouth snapping shut so fast his teeth clicked audibly as he fliched back a few steps. The other goblin looking like he was expecting Riz to strike him as he continued his exhausted trudge down the hallway.

"Can they wait a couple hours?"

"Well, yes?" Ick looked releived when Riz let his hand fall back to his side, the rogue letting his ears droop as he gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

"I'll look at them a bit later. I need to lie down for a bit... shouldn't be for long though. There's a pretty substantial 'done' pile in the office waiting for you if you need something else to tide you over until I come back."

"Oh? I apologise Your Majesty, but have you been in there all night?"

Riz answered by way of a tired hum, stopping at an intersection in the corridor as he tried to remember which way the rooms they'd prepared for him were. Ick helpfully pointing him in the correct direction when the answer didn't come to him immediatly.

"There's not much left to go and I want to get it done as soon as possible so we can get Sarah and the others home." The rogue yawned, turning away from Ick to open the door to his quarters. "And hopefully by that point you guys will mostly be set up to run stuff yourselves and I can go home."

A look of panic passed over the other goblins face at that, though Riz missed it since he was facing away from him. Icks claws clicking together as his eyes darted backwards and forwards.

"Oh uh... so soon? You've only been here for two days Your Majesty. We haven't even put on a welcome feast for you yet."

"Yeah? I reckon I can get through the rest of it in a day, max. Then I can start working on getting the brides home where they belong." Riz stretched his arms over his head, joints popping audibly from the long hours stuck at the desk in the kings study. "But for now, my head is killing me and I need to relax for a bit."

"Of course. Rest well Sire." Ick lowered himself into a deep bow, missing the uncomfortable look Riz have him at the display before the rogue disappeared into his rooms and shut the door. The rogue thumping his head against the inside of the door once it was shut, instantly regretting it as he aggravated the bump he'd given himself from slamming into the desk when he passed out, before stepping into the room properly.

He'd refused the actual kings quarters, to skeeved out by the thought of getting rest in the same room the previous creep of a king had used, but the rooms they'd prepared for them were still beautiful. Certainly something befitting fae nobility, at the very least. Lots of silk drapery and beautifully carved furniture that dwarfed most things you could find in the mortal realms. He was sure Maximum Legend... Fabian... was THOROUGHLY enjoying himself.

Fabian had been given his own room directly across the hallway, equally as oppulant, and through the arcane bond he'd forged by taking his friends name he could feel him in there. It was nice being able to tell where he was, though the threat of him being taken by some other fae creature seemed to be mostly gone now. He gave the bond between them a little tug just to double check, Fabian flashing in his minds eye for a second before the image faded. Riz having to suppress a laugh because, from what he'd seen, Fabain had NOT slowed down on the Fae wine while the rogue had been working. Sure, you didn't get PARTICULARLY bad hangovers from it but he'd still be feeling it somewhat in the morning.

Satisfied that his friend was safe, if not INCREDIBLY drunk and passed out, not more than sixty feet away Riz finally turned his sights on the bed. Soft sheets and an incredibly comfortable matress calling him as he went about preparing himself to get some rest.

------------------------------

Riz jolted awake with a start when he felt the matress dip behind him slightly, hand gripping his arcubus under his pillow as he sat upright suddenly and brought the weapon around to confront the intruder. He wasn't sure just how long he'd been asleep but it couldn't have been for long given how groggy and out of it he still felt, thankfully adrenaline and experience were enough to push him to a mostly consious state even if he was only running on fumes.

The sudden movement must have startled them because the intruder yelped and scrambled backwards away from him slightly, hands in the air as they stared down the barel of the arcane weapon as Riz tried to force himself awake enough to take in what was going on.

There was a person on his bed.

Goblin. Female if the striping pattern on her tail were anything to go by.

They were mostly naked.

"Gah! Fuck. What the hell?" The last realisation jolted the rogue the rest of the way awake, Riz scrambling out of the far side of the bed and holding up a hand to block his sight of the intruder even if he was keeping track of their location by sound.

"I apologise sire! I was asked to come help you relax since you did not have a companion to share your bed with."

"Gods. No. What the fuck why would I want that?" Riz grimaced, glancing at them again just to double check they were unarmed before removing his finger from the trigger of his arcubus and letting his arm drop. Free hand still resoloutly blocking his sight of them as he blushed furiously.

There was a beat of confused silence save for the sound of a tail sliding against the sheets from the other goblin in the room.

"I could... send in a male if you prefer?"

"NO!.... No." Riz sighed, gesturing towards the door with his arcubus. "Just... put on some clothes and go. DON'T send anyone else I just want to sleep."

Leaving a mini offering for when you awaken - Thanks for chatting with me while work has been boring me to death :3

----------------------

Fae Wilds

Fabian flinched his hand away when Riz swatted at his fingers, the goblins hand connecting with his knuckles with a stinging crack since he wasn’t pulling his punches. Not anymore. The creature that had tried to hand Fabian a strange piece of fruit snarling at the goblin and earning a venomous hiss from the detective in response before it skuttled up the tree and out of sight into the canopy.

“Just because someone is handing you something doesn’t mean you have to take it.” Riz took a calming breath, rubbing at the bridge of his nose under his glasses before resettling them on his face properly. “In fact, put your hands in your pockets. Please.”

The goblin had needed to explain this to Fabian six times already but the Fae Wilds tended to make most people who weren’t native a little vague at the best of times. He wasn’t mad at his friend, not really, he was just kind of wishing he hadn’t let the half elf invite himself on this little mission in the name of ‘watching Riz’s back’ for him. Sure, adventuring with a partner was much more enjoyable than going solo like he usually did but gods was it stressful when he had to keep an eye on Fabian the entire time. If he’d known Fabians human heritage would cause this much of a handicap on his resistance to the confusing influence of this realm he wouldn’t have let him come at all.

This excursion wasn’t in relation to Fabians case anyway, the leads on that one having run dry a while ago, but Riz still had bills to pay and the half elf was fine with him taking other clients in the meantime. They were in the Fae Wilds searching for information, the detectives current client swearing that his daughter had run off with a member of some fairy court and wanting to know where they’d gone. When Riz had gone through his daughters things he’d had to agree, some of the items and letters she’d left behind faintly humming with traces of magic from this realm when he’d checked them over.

So here they were, just the two of them, trying to find someone they could get information out of without trading away something irreplaceable. Riz had gotten a few leads from some of the less dangerous creatures in the area and had been verifying some of it with another when he heard Fabian speaking with someone behind him. The goblin having to whirl around quickly to smack Fabian on the leg to stop him from saying his name to a beautiful, naked woman that looked like they were carved out of a still living tree. Riz narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth when they ran a flirty finger under Fabian’s chin before giggling and wandering away into the forest around them.

“Oh, sorry The Ball. You were trying to get my attention?” Fabian had stared wistfully after the retreating figure until they were impossible to spot among the foliage, the half elf making a choked noise when Riz reached up to grab him by the collar of his jacket and yank him down to the goblins eye level.

“Stop. Saying. Your. Name. and REALLY stop saying your FULL name. Even if they don’t want to steal it they can do some pretty horrible stuff to you if you’re not careful.”

“Ah. Right. Sorry. Force of habit.” Fabian grinned, happy to let the goblin manhandle him around if he wanted to even though it would be very easy to resist. It meant he got to look at his face up close, even if his brows were knitted together in a frown and his ears were pinned back in a way he knew meant he was upset or worried.

“Fuck, okay. I know you’re having issues remembering all this because of-“ Riz let go of his collar with one hand to gesture vaguely around the pair of them, indicating the fae wild at large. “-but it’s going to cause problems if you keep doing that. So. Give me your name.”

“Hmm? Okay, It’s…” The half elf frowned, his own ears drooping slightly while his eye darted, unfocused, from side to side as he tried to think. “I don’t… why can’t I remember?”

“Oh, good. Excellent. I still remember it so that worked.” Riz let go of his collar, pressing their foreheads together in a brief nuzzle before stepping way from him. “You gave me your name. I’ll give it back once we go home but at least I can keep it safe for you until we do. For now you’ll just have to go by… I dunno. Maximum Legend until we leave.”

Now that a creature of this realm had control of the half-elfs name hopefully it would have the duel effect of helping to clear his mind somewhat. Maximum Legend, for his part, was doing an excellent impression of a stunned fish. Mouth hanging open slightly as he stayed crouched in the position Riz had left him in.

“That’s…. what the fuck The Ball? How in the Nine Hells did you even do that?”

“I am a creature of many talents.”

The half-elf scoffed in response but didn’t argue, standing back up to his full height and following along behind Riz as he started walking again.

It's always a delight to chat with you, and it's one of my favourite things to do! Thank you for this gift. Here's a little something in return, pulled from some of our recent chats.

---

Maximum Legend—ugh, he couldn’t believe Riz was throwing that one drunken night on Leviathan in his face—kept a hand on the hilt of his blade as he stood back to back with Riz as several masked goblins surrounded them. They’d been on their way through a forest of trees as tall as skyscrapers with thick and colourful underbrush. Following their only lead regarding the location of Riz’s client’s daughter, Sarah. Up until they’d been ambushed, of course.

He’d been ready for a fight, but he felt Riz hesitate at the same time he did, thanks to giving their attackers a second look over. Rusty pitchforks, worn sickles, and recently repaired spears. Masks made up of ripped fabric and threadbare work clothes covered with patchwork leather armour. If they were bandits, they had only just started out, but something told them that these people weren’t even that.

Riz glanced at Maximum Legend to make sure they were on the same page before he called out to one of the goblins in Gukliak. Maximum could only follow parts of the back and forth that occurred. He could surmise that Riz had asked the troupe if they’d seen a Halfling girl running around with a member of one of the nearby Courts.

For a moment, the goblins looked shifty about it, but Riz… insisted that her father only wanted to know that she was safe and bring her home if she wasn’t. A bit of conferring between the troupe and another quick exchange with Riz before they lowered their weapons. Giving them both a nod to follow.

The troupe of goblins kept them close as they led them through the forest toward a small village by a winding creek. Small farms on the outskirts of it with farmers tending to strange beasts and even stranger crops. Little houses and shops were built into the massive ivied tree trunks or carved out of giant moss-covered boulders. A village square with a tall pole wrapped in colourful ribbons and flowers that goblin villagers pass by and congregate at to stare at him and Riz as they’re led deeper into the settlement.

Eventually they are led to a hollowed out giant tree stump where the missing daughter, Sarah, a young ravenhaired Halfling woman sat in a garden of tall grass and wildflowers, playing a guitar for a hoard of young goblins. It was a sweet sight to watch for a moment or two. But sooner than later, one of the kits noticed their and their guides’ presences and a whirlwind of chaos erupted.

Sarah stopped strumming, sitting up alarmed as some of the kits raced towards a couple of the goblins who guided them here—their parents, obviously. While others, the ones on the older side stayed and began to swarm Sarah as if they could hide her with their bodies. And that is nothing to say of a matronly Goblin woman bursting out of the stump and rushing to put herself in front of Sarah and the kits as she hissed at the guides and the outsiders.

Maximum watched as Riz lowered his ears in submission to her obvious authority in this place as he began to speak to her slowly in Gukliak. At first, she wasn’t having it; not even some nudging from their guides was enough for her to let them come any closer. But luckily, Sarah was far more willing to humour them.

Slithering out of the pile of kits, she threw her guitar over her shoulder as she walked over to the Goblin matron to put a hand on her shoulder. Telling her that they most likely weren’t here on the Goblin King’s orders. She recognized their clothing; they were from her home plane. Here to rescue her. Sarah smiles at them and tells them that Drezza is just worried about her because she sees her stolen daughter in her, that’s all. She’s happy to talk to them and explain what happened to her.

You see, Sarah Timbersage had been having a really tough time at college, at her dead-end job and at home and… she’d met a guy. Handsome, almost too good-looking for words. Elven, she’d guessed at first, but he’d been light on the details. They’d exchanged letters, back and forth; old fashioned, but she’d liked it. He’d said that she could come live with him, that he’d take care of her, and she’d want for nothing…

As the fifth daughter of eight children, it was an enticing offer. Believable, too, he’d given her a beautiful necklace as if it were nothing. She hadn’t even realized she’d been enthralled until she was deep in the Feywild, within the Castle of the Goblin King. Who, she’d quickly realized, was only going to add her to a collection of “brides” he kept as a testament to his power. Including Drezza’s daughter, Pollina, though Sarah hadn't known that then. Only by pure luck did she manage to escape the fortress and disappear into the forest surrounding it.

Sarah doesn’t know how long she wandered, but one morning, after spending the night hidden in a rotted log, she was found by some of Drezza’s children. The sweet things had realized that she was not only hungry and thirsty, but also the mortal woman the Goblin King had sent scouts to find.

Now, you have to understand. Within the Goblin Court, you’d be hard-pressed to find a soul that actually revered or even liked their King. Hell, they hadn’t particularly liked their last dozen Kings! Might makes Right in the Court of Goblins, so one of the most popular ways for anyone to gain power is to kill a more powerful being than themselves and assume their title.

The worst thing is? It's an arcane issue. It doesn't matter if the courtiers and subjects of the Court despise whoever holds the title of Goblin King, no matter how this so-called King drags their Court’s reputation through the mud unless one of them can defeat him? There's nothing they can do to strip the Court-given powers from him. As much as they hated to admit it, the current Goblin King was very powerful.

And if the smoke signal from the outermost of the village's farms was correct, he was on his way here.

[queenofthursday6599-blog]

Getting kind of sick of people saying Mr. Beast didn't break the Geneva Convention with the sleep deprivation thing.

Because "It didn't happen during war, and the guy wasn't a prisoner".

Motherfucker mlp:fim was apparently breaking the Geneva Convention because a pony nurse had a cutie mark that looked too much like the Red Cross. Even though the Red Cross doesn't have little pink hearts around it.

Like if this:

Is close enough to the Red Cross symbol that it breaks the Geneva Convention, that the show had to change it.

Then I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the sleep deprivation that caused that guy to have a mental break down during the filming of that never posted video probably also breaks the Geneva Convention.

Also sleep deprivation is a literal form of torture, and is therefore always illegal, no matter what. Even if who you're doing to isn't a literal prisoner, of war or otherwise.

Also music and light control are also violations of the Geneva Convention. And while a noisy ice cream machine might not be music, it's certainly continuous auditory stimulation the guy couldn't control or turn off. At least not without the ice cream inside not going bad and starting to reek.

[sunsetsimon]

blue collar simon ♡ because i'm going insane

pt 2 here

☼ he's waking up around 4:30am most days, due to starting at a new job site that gives him a longer commute. he's grumbly when his alarm blares, quickly turning it off and sitting on the edge of the bed for a minute to stare off and come to. his footsteps are quiet as he heads to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and giving his face a rinse to clear it from sleep. simon makes sure to keep his hair short, only needing to run his fingers through it to tame a few wild pieces that stick up on the side.

☼ most mornings you get up with him, his alarm waking you up even with as quickly as he turns it off. "go back t'sleep love," he leans over, cupping your cheek lovingly as you try to blink the sleep out of your eyes.

"gonna pack your lunch si," you say, so quietly he almost doesn't hear you. he knows better than to argue though, you're already up and nothing is better than having you help him get ready for his long day.

you slip on one of his hoodies on your way downstairs, practically swimming in the fabric as it rests on your mid thighs, hands covered in the long sleeves. his heart swells, you look so cute when you're tired and stubborn, refusing to let him leave without a proper lunch.

☼ he's not able to talk much throughout the day with how busy he is. sometimes you only get a quick 2 minute call while he's scarfing down his lunch, complaining about how their project manager was being a dick that day.

"'right babe. gettin' back to it so i'll call you when i'm leaving, whenever the fuck that'll be."

"okay si. i love you, be careful."

"always am. love you."

sometimes you get lucky with a random picture of something on the site, having no idea what it is you can only respond with a "what am i looking at?"

"fuckin' dumbass rookie can't mark out a straight line to save his fuckin' life."

whatever the hell that means. simon thinks it's funny though.

☼ comes home with new cuts and bruises everyday, the wrap on one of his fingers soaked with dirt and blood. his hands are cut up and scarred, calloused and rough to the touch but you still love them, those hands provide everything for you. you're constantly having to remind him to clean under his nails after a long day though, refusing to be touched until they're squeaky clean.

☼ he never gets home at the same time, a supposed-to-be 10 hour shift can quickly turn into a 12 or 13 depending on how much work needs to be done. not a week goes by when he doesn't have overtime, and though he makes a lot of money, he's fucking exhausted when he gets home. lazily unlacing and kicking his boots off at the door while coming in, practically with a limp, his knees and feet fighting to not give out from pure exhaustion.

still finds the energy to shove his dirty hands under your shirt though when he catches you at the stove preparing him a plate. his unkempt stubble scratches your neck as he inhales your clean, addicting scent. planting soft kisses along the skin, you almost melt into him until you smell him, dust and sweat clouding your nose.

"ugh simon! you can't be all over me while you're dirty," you whine, trying to pull away from his tightening grip on your hips.

"can't help it when y'look so damn good. missed you all day," he grumbles, pulling your ass back against his growing bulge in his work pants, thrusting against you through layers of clothing.

"eat and take a shower first, then we can talk," you give him another shove - much to his dismay. apparently he wasn't as tired as he thought.

[a-b-riddle]

Can’t stop thinking about poly141 who get so wrapped up in their own bullshit they begin to neglect reader. So you leave 🤷🏼‍♀️

It wasn’t a big deal at first. You understood that their jobs were intense to say the least. You own a bookshop, which in itself was exhausting, but you understood how they could get carried away with work.

You had excused the many delayed returned texts or missed FaceTime dates when they were deployed. When they came home, they almost always made it up to you. Showering you with attention and quality time.

But the past two returns home have been… different.

Usually at least one of them made a beeline to your shop or your loft if it was too late in the evening. You always held your breath when it was just one of them.

“They’re okay.” Was the usual answer. “Everyone made it back okay.” It was only then that you could melt into whoever’s hands you were in.

After one of their recent returns home you had voice to Price that you didn’t appreciate several days passing after they came back and no one had bothered to tell you. He had snapped. Arguing that a mission doesn’t finish just because they land back on soil. There was paperwork and debriefing to be done. If and when they wanted to see you they would.

He didn’t apologize until later. Crawling into your bed, using one of the keys you had given them. Blaming the stress. How they had almost lost Johnny for the reason of his outburst. What else could you do but forgive him?

So you had given them space after that one. Not holding it against them to decompress before seeing you.

The next time was the final straw. Solidifying how little they cared about you and how much power you had given them.

Johnny had come in around 7 one evening. He was dressed nicely, for civilian standards. You were reading a book on the couch when he had let himself in. You were wearing on of Simon’s sweatshirts and panties. He took you in for a moment before scooping you up.

He fucked you absolutely stupid. Adamant on having you cum on his tongue, his fingers and his cock. You were only able to bask in the afterglow of him filling you up before he started pulling his pants back on.

“What are you doing?” There were times that you would practically need a crow bar to get Johnny detached from you just long enough to relieve yourself. You had gotten many a UTI courtesy of Mr. John MacTavish.

“Dinner with my family tonight.” He explained by the time he was already buttoning his shirt. “The youngest just graduated and ma’ feels the need to go all out.” Now came the tie. Johnny was actually wearing a tie. To go to dinner. “A fancy dinner in London.” He huffed. “Meanwhile I’m out scufflin’ with bloody fuckin’ terrorists and I get a pat on the back.” He gave you a peck on the cheek before heading out the door. Promising to call you later.

You just sat in your bed. Still naked. Almost in shocked. He had fucked you and just… left. You were close to a panic attack as you called Simon.

Simon wasn’t the one to cuddle and coddle. But there was something so soothing at the sound of his voice or even how his heavy body felt perfect laying on top of you. Yes. Simon wasn’t the time to lift you up with words, but he was your own security blanket. Just having him close helped.

“Can you come over?” It wasn't unusal for Simon to be the one to come later in the evening. Insomnia was a bitch to deal with and you could sleep through the sounds of whatever he played on the tv. Most of the times you were content laying your head on his lap as he ran his hand along your head as if he were petting you. It was a bit cringe, but it knocked you out every time.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. The low timber of his voice already calming you.

“Johnny came over.” You sniffled. “He just fucked me and left.”

“Not surprised.” He scoffed. You could almost see him rolling those deep brown eyes of his. “If you wanted to cum, I’m happy to come over and help.”

For whatever reason, that only seemed to make you more upset. “You’re not listening.” You said, trying to spell it out for him. “He left. Like didn’t even stay and cuddle just left. Fucked me and left.”

“That’s why you’re calling me crying about?” He almost seemed… annoyed.

“Yes!” You said, nearly snapping. All of the tension from the last several months coming to the surface. “I’m not just a warm body to keep a bed cozy until you assholes decide you need to get one off.” Assholes. You called them assholes. “This isn’t what we agreed to.”

“Johnny is Johnny.” Simon tried to defend, not really caring to continue the conversation now knowing that you weren't in any sort of physical harm. “He wanted his dick wet and from the sound of it, that’s what he did. Don’t hold it against him because he had other things to do.”

“It’s not just Johnny leaving.” Your throat felt like it was tightening. A telltale sign you were close to crying. Whether from sadness or anger you weren't entirely sure. “The only time any of you want anything to do with me anymore is to fuck.” You missed date nights and lunches. You missed texting any and all of them about your day, about theirs. About new books. You had been trying for months to tell them over dinner one of your books got picked up. Yours was being traditionally published.

None of them had bothered to even try penciling you in.

“You got yours.” You heard the popping of a can top. Simon was settling in for the night. Once he popped a top at home there was no getting him out. He wasn't coming for you. “I don’t understand what you’re bitchin’ to me about. Yeah, in the beginning we indulged ya a bit? Dressed you up, took you out. But you should have known spreadin’ them legs of yours wouldn’t end with one of us puttin’ a ring on your finger.”

You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? These were the men that pursued you. Initially, individually, but when tensions became to much they offered a solution. All of them. Four times the attention, of the affection.

Four times the love.

But also four time the neglect. Four times the amount of heartbreak and disappointment. Loving all of them meant putting yourself in a position to let each of them hurt you in their own way and they had.

John's constant state of snapping at you as if you were one of his men.

Johnny swinging by as if you were just a fuck buddy. Not even bothering to give a peck before leaving.

Kyle essentially ignoring you for weeks now. Ghosting you for hours or having to cancel on date nights last minute or claiming that he really did forget that the two of you had planned to meet for lunch.

And now there was Simon. Telling you that all you meant to them was what was between your thighs.

Spreadin' them legs of yours wouldn't end with one of us puttin' a ring on your finger.

None of them ever intended on making this into something more. That much was clear now.

You didn't know what to say to Simon. You couldn't think of a witty retort. You couldn't find the proper insult to whirl his way. You couldn't convey just how much his words had hurt.

So you did the only thing you could.

You hung up.