#i was yearning i'm afraid
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.............just testing out a new drawing app and I got carried away..........yeah :(
#this is literally just a scrap okay#i was yearning i'm afraid#so much mlem#don't usually post my stuff cause i am anxious af#but thought i'd share this#viktor arcane#viktor x reader#arcane viktor#viktor x oc#arcane#viktor fanart
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It's impossible to write a TOS x Any other Series crossover [for me] without having to think about whose lens it's going to primarily be from because the vibe of TOS is so distinct and I think quite different from all series that follow it. The way the characters speak and are presented is so theatrical and of course steeped in the past that I find myself considering if this is, say, Janeway meeting Kirk (through a VOY perspective) or if I should write Janeway as she would appear if she stepped through a portal and was in TOS' universe.
#finally watched enough TOS that I feel I can write some fics v_v#I hope this makes sense#it feels almost like you have to decide whether or not you're going to translate the characters#not remove them of anything (which 'no female captains' TOS would have done) - I'm talking more of a...vibe?#It feels like TOS has a very particular 'pattern of speech' so to speak that other series don't share#EX: 'And now they're making me tremble but I'm no longer afraid...I am no longer....afraid.'#This 'pattern of speech' is also why shows like S_NW who purport to take place prior to TOS and yet are so jaggedly marvel-ously (he's righ#behind me isn't he???) modern feel incongruent. As if they take place in another universe. <- Among the million other reasons#I read a post that was like 'TOS is about the 60's' and it's true - TOS is so The 60's and that doesn't mean one can't innovate and build o#it (obviously hence star trek) but if I'm going back to WRITE in the TOS-verse it feels like I need to get in that headspace a bit and#engage with it in some manner. It's also why spirk is so compelling to me AS a yearning relationship (other than my love of yearning)#a man loves a man on a starship and it's the far future and it's the 60's and they're aliens and they can't admit that love aloud#for one or many of those reasons#It's such a PARTICULAR and INTERESTING blend of the past and future#we've solved racism (in the 60's way a white man might conceptualize this) but women can't be captains#and among the millions of alien planets there is nothing more constant than a brave man loving a beautiful woman
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hi
#i logged back in to toggle settings cuz of the third-party stuff#i feel like a feral creature unfit to speak to other human beings much less socialization#isolation's a hell of a drug#kinda just afraid to look at anything or be anywhere or be perceived#the sad part is i kinda yearn to talk to people/do fandom again but i'm. utterly. terrified.#waiting for permission that will never come lol#yeah i'm still pathetic sorry#personal bullshit
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A is a sickie who's been waiting eagerly for their partner to come home all day. their partner B is barely through the door when A is hugging them and giving them cherry-menthol kisses and saying how happy they are to see them. B is pleasantly surprised at this warm welcome, and doesn't protest when A takes their hand and leads them to their bedroom.
once they're in bed, though, B can feel the fevered warmth of A's skin and can't tell if their little shivers are from pleasure or chills.
“sweetheart,” they say gently. “are you sure you feel well enough?”
A smiles. “yes, i'm sure! come here, beautiful. i missed you today.”
for a little while, B gets lost in the feeling of being close to A, loving them with tender words and skillful touches. but then B starts to hear crackly little coughs after A's hoarse moans, and they hesitate.
“honey...”
A shakes their head. “keep going.”
B does, if only to please A; they sneak a glace up at A's expression and see it's caught in a haze of need that B knows all too well.
“you're gonna sneeze, aren't you?” B asks.
A shakes their head, holding a hand up to try and hide behind it, waving it a little in a display that's either meant to encourage or dissuade the sneeze - B can't exactly determine what A's thought process is at the moment.
“no, i don't - hih, oh - i don't need to.”
B breathes a laugh. “yes you do. go on.”
A's expression crumples in relief with the two sneezes that seem to follow from B's permission, each of them congested and drawing a little groan from A afterwards.
“bless you,” B says, but they hardly get the words out before A's pleading with them.
“don't make me stop just because i sneezed,” A says pitifully. “i promise i feel fine. i don't want to stop.”
B chuckles and shakes their head, giving A's neck a kiss.
“okay, baby, i won't make you stop,” B says, their kisses traveling lower. “but as soon as we're done, you're letting me take care of you. bath, medicine, hot tea, the works.”
A nods, but their breath catches; B thinks it's partly from where their hand is wandering and partly from the tickle A's still fighting.
A sneezes again, lightly misting B's bare skin. “oh! i'm sorry, honey.”
“that's okay, sweetheart. bless you.”
A gasps when B moves their fingers just so, and B can't help a sympathetic smile at the hoarse, pitiful sound of A's voice.
“i love you, you know,” B says. “even if you do sneeze all over me.”
A's laugh is bashful as they bury their face in the crook of B's neck, so glad to be close to them after a long day of waiting. “i love you too.”
#girl help i'm yearning#i always write vanilla snz scenarios for some reason? idk it seems so tender and domestic to me#also no spellings again because i'm so afraid they'll be bad and kill the vibe lmao!!#bona fide babbs original#snz scenario#snz kink
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#ohhhhh fear of the future. desperate yearning for things that might maybe make me feel better. yearning for not being afraid.#yearning for something impossible that would mean i was looked after forever and ever and never have to worry about being able to live#and take care of myself.#can someone give me a house with no mortgage and pay my student loans then also sort out ubi?#the idea of living another year without an animal and without a vague sense of stability is. more than distressing.#fight of plan for the future. thinking about what i actually want makes me feel incredible amounts of doom. stops planning.#feels like i have no idea what i want and no goal and realistic idea of what will happen which is terrifying#reach for escapism. end up back on the ''i'm terrified i've already ruined my adult life and i've barely started living''#i hate feeling like this. but it's not. something that can be fixed either.
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a laik yeditepeli chp'li girl and giresun'lu ülkücü kurt boy... i would read this fic (they met in a campus kurt boy is majoring history like most of ultranationalists and laik girl is majoring lit)
by allah dani you're onto something..... your mind is so powerful. too powerful in fact....
the ülkücü!primo nizzuto to martin eden pipeline. to me. in an effort to fix him i make him worse. the laik girl with her longchamp purse and expensive pens and cool preppy studyinspo notebooks and my beautiful mhp'li primo with the pen he borrows from one kanka and the piece of paper he borrows from another...... only 50 tl in his pocket how is he going to beni eve atmak? 90k words slow burn..... ıssız adam duvara karşı romeo and juliet!!!!!!!
#DANI KFJKDJFKDJFKDJF YOUR MIND#i laughed. then i yearned.#i am currently yearning.....#ülkücü primo nizzuto come and find me...... please come to me in my dreams tonight i will even go to a nargile cafe with you......#dani write this for me.... i will buy you every single purse in stradivarious. BEYMEN EVEN. vakko.#apologies to my non turkish speaking babes we're having a moment. i'm afraid it's serious and terminal. on my part.#answers
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i get it i get it i really get it but also it's very frustrating when a work of fiction raises you expectations, makes you thrilled for The Big Confrontation, and then the next post-clifhanger installment comes and it goes "after everything was over,"
#shrimp thoughts#this is sponsored by the abysmal atz diary story that makes me legit CONFLICTED because the diary ver is now my favourite#but also it contains the diaries (deeply unfavourite (annoying (i don't want to throw the photobook but i'm scared i might)))#but also i've read some fics that did this and as i said I GET IT a fic is for fun and not for Achieving Perfection. and also being great a#writing yearning or suspense doesn't automatically being great (or comfortable!) with writing confessions/fights#i personally love to leave my fics 'unfinished' in that they don't end with a conclusive state of things but like. in media res so to speak#i do enjoy that discomfort of not knowing what happens or IF it happens. i also enjoy making things Not Happen (characters being#passive and confused and just Not Doing Things they 'should' do because they don't know how/are afraid)#even though i know it probably seems terribly pretentious/cheap to better writers#that being said. there are stories that just... by themselves make a reader envision and anticipate The Great Thing and it's... not great a#all when it simply doesn't happen/is glossed over#idk man i am but an armchair-dwelling whiner
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i think i like a friend oh no
#oh my god#oh no#lesbian things#lesbian#wlw#somebody help me#wlw activities#i do not want this to develop#hope she likes me tho#we've kissed before#hehehe#and a little bit more...#wlw yearning#she's so pretty#and tall#she's a tall girl#HEIGHT DIFFERENCE#!!!#part of me is wondering if i am actually developing feelings or i'm just hyperfixating on her#anyways...#things are happening#i am insane when i'm in love sorry#that's why i'm afraid
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i want to retheme PTV ... maybe I'll use the same art but make it a bit different idk. i don't feel good with the layout now
#me ﹠ the horrid relationship i have with my mogai + edit blog.#.when my fp said that i might be the next big thing i started shaking#<— maybe I'm just .ill but . yeah ... i can definitely see it in some beings. mhm. uh huh.#the beings yearn for the Glockenspiel font#it's silly to me because it makes my narc high but my bpd do a nosedive .AHHHHHHHHHH#i don't like being vulnerable about how i feel with inspiration because i feel like it'll be used on me for some reason. even if the world—#—tells me that'll never happen or that people won't do that!#I hold my identity awfully close to me ﹠ I'm afraid.
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i think i'm going crazy a little
#5 hours is enough time. i'm going throw up in the tags so. idk. don't read if you don't want that or whatever#but i so consistently just feel. On The Outside of everything i guess. nowhere is where I am i sit on the edge of everything#i watch other people live and i watch other people function and i go “i wish that was me i wish that was me” and i sit there still#and it's true that i wish that was me but every time i almost get there i break down#i become convinced i'm hated convinced things are out to get me that they'll go wrong so i retreat and go back to sitting on the edge#i keep yearning for a life that feels so within my grasp and that i watch everyone else take for themselves#but every time i reach out i recoil without thinking and i go “why don't i have this life? why do i feel so alone?”#because you shut yourself away because you're so afraid all the time! look nash you can acknowledge it look!#but acknowledging it is pointless because do i do anything about it? do i try to change things? no! i don't! i just do this!#who knows. i'm losing control of my own life and all i have to do is grab the wheel and stop it but i can't do even that
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WHYYY DID I HAVE TO DEVELOP A FEAR OF ROLLER COASTERS!!!! I think if I ever got the oppurtunity to go on the tron coaster I would cry (from sheer joy and ecstasy), shit myself, and then pass out in that order. Or I would talk myself out of it. BUT I'M YOUNG, THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IN MY LIFE I COULD GET AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE TO ACTUALLY BEING IN THE GRID.
I did go on the indiana jones ride at disneyland once and managed to have a fun time (eyes closed for half of it), I wonder if its.... similar.
#*bangs my head against the wall to recalibrate myself* DO NOT BE AFRAID DO NOT BE AFRAID#tron#I just saw a video of the coaster on instagram and i'm yeARNING
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i'll read more from now on again
#🌙.rambles#so much to just think about n i'm lost in my own lil world#tmrrw gna have to face reality again bcs of school :c but. yk lately this year i think i've already developed lots#this past week has been especially formative.#i crave n yearn.. intimacy so much. i want to just be free like that. bcs i'm safe in my own self n. too much to say but#i think it's lonely. being out a lot today made me realize that. all these barriers in communication is so.. lonely#i want to read so much more for so many reasons but here with what i've already laid out the first reason i'll say is#i want to understand others better i want to even further expand my own thinking n just learn so much more#n then.. goddamn i want to write too. write so much so i could#it hurts. it hurts so much i feel like i know n think n feel more than i should n the wisdom is breaking me apart i don't know how to put it#into words. maybe that's why i've been afraid to start new things despite my insatiable curiosity n passion.#afraid of how it'll fill me with even more & i'm not sure how i'd manage. i feel as though i understand life differently than most..#most people around me at least. i see myself in musicians. artists. writers.#people who create once they've taken in much as well. people like me but.. it's been rather disturbing when i realize how most of them end#up like. n i wonder. i just wonder so much. n wish n dream that maybe i could end up differently.#i want so desperately to break out of the chains of reality of society of.. all those. idead that are taught to us n internalized ever since#we were born? i don't know how to write it and i don't think words could ever do it justice. but i want to truly be who i am at heart.#and yet being self-aware i suppose is confusing in such a bittersweet way. there's so much more that i do not know and cannot grasp#& then sometimes at the end of the day i just wonder n dream about if ever i would be more connected with reality. with this world.#regardless of how much one may put out to the world.. it'll never be understood or known in the same way as the one it originates from.#it's lonely. sad. but it makes what we can convey and relate with much more meaningful. n i'm so grateful for those things#n there's also just so much that relates to it n. yeah. is part of it like#the unconscious subconscious n conscious mind#for fuck's sake i want to learn so much it's overwhelming. psychoanalysis n neuroscience n#i want to learn more of others too. i want deep conversations. i want to read more books n listen to more music n just consume more n more#to learn more of the people who created them. everything around us is just so full of life n. it's so beautiful n so overwhelmingly painful.#my helplessness in doing more. i'm aware of why. n it just hurts. it hurts so much but i'm#glad at least that lately i've been more free. more myself. more self-aware n aware of the universe in general. n i look forward to#so much more. but.. yeah i still crave to be 'real' n part of this world in a more 'normal' way at times#i. have so much to write. but for now i'll return to reality with the this.. odd feeling in my chest. not enough too little too much. life
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#idk who I'm telling this#but lately I have been yearning#for... I'm not completely sure#when I read and hear and see people describe their experiences#it's the only time I truly feel something deep down#laughter and mirth appears strong but superficial#I'm deeply unsure about how to proceed with this#because there is a clear and obvious way to resolve this#but I... idk... I guess I'm afraid?#sry to everyone who read all that
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ive been noticing more of your "it's worse than ever" posts. i hate to break it to you, but they say female sexuality peaks in the 30s. so it's only going to get worse.😔
#no one is more unprepared and afraid of this than I am#my eggs bouncing around like jumping beans treating my ovaries like a bounce house...what whorrors lurk in my yearns#I'm not kidding it's already so bad good god HELP
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literally all i have been doing the past two weeks is Wanting. they call me the wanter the way i'm wanting things i can never have
#yearning longing whatever you wanna call it#needing as well but to a lesser extent because you can only need to a certain degree before it becomes wanting. lusting for sure#i have not stopped since the year started and i don't see an end in sight yet. i literally can't even think straight anymore#i literally cannot do anything or get anything done i mean i'm bad at that usually but like i genuinely think i've lost it#and as someone who never had it to begin with... idk!!!!#it's like i'm afraid to lose focus on it as if it isn't a constant choice i keep making when i wake up#i must remember that i can give up anything if i decide to. everything could change tomorrow#not looking at him for 2 hours will not make the feeling go away... pls be convinced brain#because i have not been sleeping well </3#and i'm becoming hard to be around again. people can just instinctively tell when i'm being weird#it is important that i be as realistic as possible while being the most deranged person on earth#wouldn't want to hurt myself again lmao... but i always do anyways so i just gotta let it happen#anyways i'm gonna try to watch harold and maude sometime today and also watch another movie bc we are only 4 weeks into 2024#and i already fucked up the 'watch a movie a week' thing i've been doing LMAO all because i wanted to look at a man#i'm ridiculously fucking braindead#not upset about it tho that's just who i am. brain is fully developed in 2 weeks and 1 day so it's never gonna change sadly#atp growing and changing are not impossible but if i do not see a reward of being loved at the end of the tunnel i will end up dead#and it's fine it's all so fine
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SACRILEGIOUS DEVOTION [1/3]
ship: father charlie x fem!nun!reader warnings: nsfw 🔞 (oral sex/f. receiving; overstimulation; coercion/dub-con?; sacrilege, heavy religious imagery) word count: 3.6k a/n: So, Father Charlie is out here losing all his morals and sanity on Grotesquerie and my mind couldn't help but match it, so what's a better idea other than channeling all the religious trauma/journey into a spicy one-shot? i for one feel like it's a mini-therapy, but enough rambling, enjoy 😩🫶🏾 i'm in love with a holy man, mother 😔…. second part: 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 and final part: 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
★·.·´ɢʀᴏᴛᴇsǫᴜᴇʀɪᴇ 🇲🇦🇸🇹🇪🇷🇱🇮🇸🇹`·.·★
Father Charlie Mayhew was a sick man.
Not in the manner of flesh, but of spirit. He could feel the sickness festering in the quiet corners of his heart, a sinful yearning that had taken root there, twisting itself around his thoughts like creeping ivy.
It was a sickness that, he believed, made him a grotesque parody of the holy man he was meant to be. For how could he call himself righteous, devoted, when every whisper of prayer felt stained by the way his eyes followed you, Sister ____?
You were a vision of purity, an embodiment of the kind of gentle devotion that Father Charlie envied and craved all at once.
He watched you from a distance, always careful not to draw your gaze, afraid of what you might see if you looked too deeply. How dutiful you were, sweeping the church aisle with a focus that made him forget the dust and see only the graceful motion of your hands.
The sun, filtered through stained glass, seemed to seek you out, casting colors on your habit as if to mark you as someone far beyond his grasp, almost holy in your mundane tasks.
It was in the mornings, when he heard the soft chime of your laughter in the courtyard as you fed the pigeons, that he felt the deepest sting of his wretchedness.
The world seemed simpler in those moments, your laughter echoing off the stone walls, the warmth of early sun painting the sky in soft pinks and oranges. He wondered if you knew how your kindness drew even the animals to you, their heads dipping into your palms as if receiving communion.
There was a stillness to you, a gentleness in every gesture.
The worst of it was during your services. Father Charlie had seen you on your knees before, hands folded in earnest prayer, your lips moving softly as you whispered your devotion to God.
He would stand at the back of the chapel, watching with a mixture of awe and something far darker. He told himself it was admiration, but the truth festered beneath that facade.
It was longing, a hunger that ached at the edges of his soul.
A storm raged outside the convent one evening, winds battering the church walls with a fury that mirrored the tempest building in his chest. The clouds were bloated, dark as his thoughts, and thunder rolled across the sky with a violence that shook even the faith he held so dear.
You had come to his chambers in the dead of night, your knock barely audible over the howling wind. He had been preparing for bed, freshly out of the shower, wearing only his boxers when he heard you at the door.
The creak of the old wood seemed to echo forever as he opened it, and there you stood, eyes wide, looking so impossibly fragile in the dim candlelight of the corridor. Your modest night slip clung to your form, the thin fabric shifting in the draft that sneaked in from the hallway.
Charlie's breath had caught in his throat at the sight of you, innocence incarnate, seeking refuge with him.
He hesitated for only a moment before allowing you in, quickly wrapping himself in a silk robe that hung loosely on his shoulders, barely tied. He knew he should not let you enter, but there was something in the way you looked at him—so trusting, so devoted—that made him abandon every rational thought.
You had come asking to pray with him, your soft voice trembling as you spoke. The storm outside seemed like a reflection of the turmoil within him as he let you step past the threshold, closing the door behind you.
Now, you were here, kneeling before him, your eyes upturned and wide, waiting for his command, for his instruction like the obedient servant of God that you were.
Your soft voice brought him out of his thoughts, a gentle, "Father...?"
Charlie could only lament to himself how sinfully pure you looked. He hummed softly, his eyes dark as they trailed over you, lingering on the curve of your shoulders, the delicate line of your neck.
The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows across your skin, highlighting the innocence that made his hunger all the more unbearable.
"Yes, forgive me, Sister. Let us now pray," he finally said, his voice low and rough, the words nearly swallowed by the sound of the wind outside. He reached out, his fingers brushing against your forehead, and you leaned into the touch without hesitation, your eyes closing as if his hand was a blessing.
He swallowed hard, his thoughts spiraling deeper into the forbidden desires he had tried so desperately to keep buried.
He began to pray, his voice low, raspy, each word a struggle against the chaos inside him. "Heavenly Father, we come before you tonight..." But the words felt hollow, their meaning slipping away as he watched you, kneeling so obediently at his feet.
His eyes darkened, wandering further down, tracing the lines of your form. The way your lashes fluttered against your cheeks, the soft rise and fall of your chest with each breath—it all seemed to pull him further from the sanctity of the moment.
He should have been thinking of God, of salvation, of the purity of the prayer—but instead, he was thinking of you, of the way the thin fabric clung to your skin, the soft curve of your breasts visible through the modest slip.
He licked his lips, his gaze fixed on the delicate line of your collarbone, the way it rose and fell with each breath you took.
The more he spoke, the less the words mattered. He could feel the heat rising in his chest, spreading through his body, his thoughts growing more erratic, each word of the prayer slipping further from its sacred meaning, twisting into something profane, something filthy. "Protect us from all evil..." he whispered as he traced the line of your jaw with his thumb, the words a bitter irony as he felt himself drawn further into the darkness of his desires.
His hand moved lower, fingers trailing down your neck, lingering at the hollow of your throat. His touch was gentle, but there was a weight behind it, a hunger that he could no longer deny.
He could almost see the curve of your bare skin beneath the thin fabric, the outline of your body that he should not be imagining. He tried to focus on the prayer, but every word felt like a lie. He let out a shaky breath, the prayer faltering on his lips. "Guide us... guide us in your light," he managed, his voice thick with the weight of his longing.
The storm outside raged on, the wind howling as if to warn him, but Father Charlie could no longer hear it. All he could hear was the pounding of his own heart, the rush of blood in his ears as he looked down at you, so trusting, so willing.
As the final words of the prayer fell from his lips—"Amen"—you echoed him, your voice soft and unwavering. You blinked open your eyes, looking up at him with such innocence and Charlie felt himself slip past the point of no return.
He knew that no amount of prayer could ever cleanse him of what he wanted, that he could no longer pretend, no longer fight against the pull that drew him to you—the sweet, precious nun who had unknowingly captured his very soul.
Father Charlie stood, his robe slipping slightly from his shoulders, exposing the toned muscle beneath. The wind howled outside, and thunder bellowed again, followed by a flash of lightning that lit the room in a brief, startling blaze of white.
You were still kneeling before him, your wide eyes following his every movement, the flickering light casting you in both shadow and radiance.
Charlie bent at the waist, his fingers reaching out to cup your jaw, thumb caressing your bottom lip as his half-lidded eyes trailed over your face. "Sister ____," he murmured, his voice dripping with a twisted kind of affection, his name for you almost reverent, as though you were something sacred, something he could worship in his own unholy way.
You blinked, shifting slightly beneath his touch, a soft stutter escaping your lips. "F-Father...?"
He grasped one of your hands, his fingers wrapping around yours, and as he stood, he gently urged you to rise with him. His gaze never left your face, his eyes dark and full of something raw. He began to speak, his voice barely more than a murmur, the words heavy with confession. "As a man of God, there are expectations placed upon me," he started, his tone wavering between remorse and something darker, something that made his grip on your hand tighten. "I am meant to guide, to protect, to remain steadfast in my faith."
His other hand moved, slowly pulling your trembling hand against his bare stomach, pressing your palm against the hard planes of his abdomen.
You gasped, your eyes wide as you looked up at him, your hand trembling beneath his. The heat of his skin burned into your palm, the muscles flexing beneath your touch.
Charlie continued, his voice lowering, growing more intense as he spoke. "But these days... these days, Sister, I find myself at war. At war with desires that threaten to consume me..." His words trailed off, and he let out a low hum as he rubbed your hand across his stomach, the movement slow, deliberate.
Your hand hesitated for a moment, the warmth of his skin making you tremble as you instinctively pulled back. But his grip was firm, guiding you back, and slowly, tentatively, your fingers splayed across his stomach, your touch feather-light.
You swallowed hard, your eyes flickering down before you took a timid step closer, as if drawn by some invisible force. Your gaze shifted to the side, your cheeks warming with embarrassment at the proximity, at the way you could feel his heart beating beneath your palm.
Father Charlie's eyes never left you, and he could see every ounce of hesitation, every flicker of uncertainty that danced across your face. He leaned in slightly, his breath brushing against your forehead as he spoke, his voice a low murmur, "There's no need to be afraid, Sister. You are safe here... with me."
You blinked, your lashes fluttering as you dared to look up at him, your eyes meeting his through the veil of uncertainty.
There was something in his gaze, something dark and magnetic that pulled at you, made your pulse race. His thumb brushed the edge of your jaw; the touch almost comforting, but there was an intensity behind it that made you shiver.
"Do you trust me?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes searching yours.
You nodded slowly, not trusting your voice to speak, your fingers trembling slightly against his skin. He smiled, a slow, almost predatory curve of his lips, and he hummed again, satisfied with your silent answer.
His other hand moved to rest against the small of your back, pulling you just a little bit closer, his robe parting further, exposing more of his chest.
Your breath hitched as you felt the distance between you closing, the way his body seemed to envelop yours. You could barely think, your mind clouded with the storm of emotions and the strange, electric pull you felt toward him.
His thumb traced along your bottom lip, his eyes darkening as he watched you. You felt your pulse quicken, your knees weakening under the intensity of his gaze.
"Good girl," he murmured, his voice a mix of praise and something darker, something that made your heart pound even harder. His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you felt your body react, leaning in just slightly, as if craving more of his warmth, his touch.
His fingers trailed lower, coaxing your hand along his body, and you felt the tension, the desire in every muscle. He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a husky whisper, "Let me show you, Sister ____... let me show you what devotion truly means."
He kissed you then, his lips crashing against yours like a man starved. His mouth moved hungrily, tasting, devouring, and you felt his tongue lick into your mouth, coaxing a soft, surprised whimper from your throat. His groan vibrated against your lips, the sound raw and desperate.
Your head spun, your senses overwhelmed by the taste of him, the sheer need in his kiss.
You pulled back, gasping for air, your lips tingling from the force of his kiss. He didn't give you a moment to recover; his lips moved to your neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along the sensitive skin.
He nipped at your neck, his teeth grazing just enough to make you gasp, to make your knees weaken beneath you. The heat of his mouth trailed down, his tongue flicking out to soothe each small bite, and you felt your body trembling, a warmth pooling low in your belly.
Charlie's hands were relentless, holding you steady as your body threatened to give out, your knees buckling as his mouth worked against your skin. He pulled back only long enough to whisper your name, his voice thick with something between reverence and hunger.
Before you knew it, he had scooped you up, his arms strong and sure as he carried you towards his bed. Your breath hitched, your fingers clinging to his robe as he moved, each step filled with purpose.
He set you down on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping beneath your weight. His eyes roamed over you, dark and filled with desire, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath.
Father Charlie moved quickly, his hands deft as he pushed your slip off your shoulders, the fabric sliding down your skin and pooling around your waist. His lips followed the path of the falling slip, pressing soft, lingering kisses along your shoulders, his warm breath fanning across your skin.
You shivered beneath his touch, the cool air of the room prickling at your exposed skin, your nipples pebbling in response.
His eyes darkened at the sight of you, and he let out a low groan, his hands running along your bare arms, feeling the way you trembled beneath him. "You're like a goddess," he murmured, his voice thick with reverence and lust. "Perfect. Untouched. A temptation I can't resist." His lips found your collarbone, kissing, nipping, his words vibrating against your skin.
You felt heat rise in your cheeks, your heart pounding as his lips moved lower, trailing down the center of your chest, his hands spreading across your back, urging you to arch into him. His kisses were relentless, each one making your breath catch, making your body react in ways that felt both unfamiliar and thrilling.
You couldn't stop the soft whimper that escaped your lips, your hands clutching at the sheets beneath you, unsure of what to do, where to touch.
Charlie pulled back for a moment, his eyes locking onto yours, his gaze filled with hunger. He pushed you back against the bed, guiding you to lie down, his hands never leaving your body, his touch possessive, as if he couldn't bear to be without contact. He looked down at you, splayed out before him, your slip barely covering you, and he licked his lips, his eyes raking over every inch of your exposed skin.
"Look at you," he whispered, his voice dripping with a mix of adoration and hunger. "So innocent, so pure... and all mine." He leaned down, his lips capturing yours in a heated kiss, his hands working the slip further down your body, baring you completely to him.
The cool air made you shiver, your body exposed, vulnerable, and you couldn't help the way your legs shifted, instinctively trying to close.
Charlie's hands moved to your knees, gently but firmly pushing them apart, his eyes never leaving your face as he watched your reaction. His lips moved from your mouth, trailing down your jaw to your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin as he groaned against you.
He pulled the slip away entirely, tossing it aside, his hands roaming over your bare skin, mapping every inch as though he were committing you to memory. "You are... perfection," he muttered, his voice strained, filled with a hunger that made your breath hitch.
His lips moved lower, trailing down your body, leaving a heated path across your chest, your stomach, and further down. His hands were strong, keeping your legs pinned open to the bed, his fingers pressing into your thighs with a possessive hold. He kissed along your inner thighs, his warm breath fanning over your skin, making you shiver, anticipation coiling in your belly.
You instinctively tried to scoot back, to move away as you felt his breath getting closer to your core, but Charlie's grip tightened, his hands holding you firmly in place. He looked up at you, his eyes dark, almost predatory, as he whispered, "Stay still, Sister... let me worship you."
He breathed you in, a deep, satisfied groan rumbling from his chest. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, as if savoring the scent of you, and then he leaned in, his tongue licking a slow, deliberate stripe from your entrance to your clit.
A squeal, half surprise and half pleasure, escaped your lips, your back arching slightly off the bed.
Father Charlie's tongue moved with a purpose, his lips wrapping around your clit, sucking gently before flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. His hands kept your legs spread, his grip firm and unyielding as he worked his mouth against you, his groans vibrating against your core.
He was relentless, his mouth moving with a hunger that made your head spin, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you, trying to ground yourself as waves of pleasure washed over you.
You could feel his smooth skin against your inner thighs, the sensation only adding to the overwhelming pleasure that built inside you. His tongue moved in slow, teasing circles, his lips pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses against you, his eyes flicking up to watch your every reaction.
The sight of you—your flushed cheeks, your parted lips, the way your chest heaved with every ragged breath—only seemed to spur him on, his groans growing louder as he tasted you.
Your body reacted before your mind could catch up, your hips bucking against his mouth, a whimper slipping from your lips. Charlie's hands moved to hold your hips down, pinning you to the bed as he continued, his tongue delving into you, his nose brushing against your clit as he worked, utterly consumed by the taste of you.
He was lost in it, in you, his tongue moving faster, his mouth desperate as he devoured you.
You gasped, your fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer, your body trembling beneath him. The heat built inside you, coiling tighter and tighter, until you felt like you might break apart. His name fell from your lips, a breathless plea, and he groaned in response, the vibrations sending a shockwave of pleasure through you.
Your back arched off the bed, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, your body ready to fall apart under his touch.
Your first orgasm washed over you without warning, a blinding wave of pleasure that left you feeling weightless, your entire body trembling as you came undone beneath him. You melted into the bed like butter, your limbs going limp as the intensity of it left you breathless.
Charlie's mouth moved against you with a fervent hunger, drinking in every bit of your release as if it were the most sacred offering.
A small whimper escaped your lips as the sensation grew overwhelming, your body growing sensitive to his touch. He didn't stop, his tongue moving lazily, drawing out every last bit of pleasure from you, his mouth still savoring you.
Your grip on his head shifted, your fingers now pushing at him, trying to get him to stop, but his hands only gripped your thighs tighter, keeping you in place. "W-Wait..." The heat in your stomach was already starting to build again, the slow, deliberate movements of his tongue igniting another fire deep within you.
Charlie groaned against you, the sound vibrating through your core, his face buried even further between your legs, his tongue relentless.
Your breath came in quick, shallow gasps, your body trembling once more as the pleasure built. You could feel another orgasm approaching, your mind spinning as you tried to form words, but all that left your throat were broken, incoherent sounds—static that filled the room as you babbled.
You tried to scoot back, to move away from the overwhelming sensation, but Charlie's strong arms wrapped around your hips, yanking you back down, his grip unyielding. His own hips pressed into the bedding below, his desperation evident as he devoured you.
You teetered on the edge once more, the pleasure too much, too intense, until it finally broke over you again, your body arching, your mind going completely blank as you came undone a second time.
The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his mouth on you, the heat, the pressure, the overwhelming ecstasy that left you gasping for air.
As you came down from your high, your body trembling, Father Charlie finally pulled back, his lips and chin glistening. He stared up at you with dark, lidded eyes, his expression filled with hunger, with desire that seemed insatiable.
There was no hesitation, no regret—only a raw need that made it clear he no longer cared about going against his vows, no longer cared about the priesthood or what was right.
All that mattered to him was you.
A/N: i'm sorry, i just watched Grotesquerie last night and i've become obssessed.... ugh, the tension between father charlie and sister megan is just *chefs kiss* it's clear that megan is obviously meant to be y/n and the screenplay was written in the intent of it being catered to the female gaze because wheeeeww 😩...
#xani-writes: father charlie mayhew fics#grotesquerie#father charlie mayhew#father charlie x reader#father charlie smut#charlie mayhew#priest x nun#nun reader#smut#x reader#naive girl#reader insert#fem reader#x female reader#female reader#one shot#nicholas alexander chavez#charlie mayhew x reader#father Charlie mayhew x reader#nicholas chavez#nicholas alexander chavez x reader#father charlie mayhew x reader#father charlie#nicholas chavez smut#nicholas chavez x reader
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