#i was writing thing for somone and it deleted everything so now i have to start ALL OVER ]

[king-ofthe-ruckus]

Why Jerome as Life and Bruce as Death? Why not the other way around? Genuinely curious :D

thank you for asking :D I was really hoping someone would, because i didn’t want to put in the tags lol [ i’m reference to this post - https://king-ofthe-ruckus.tumblr.com/post/642382719703187456/cowpokeprose-fetching-water-again-asked-death ]

because Jerome gives people a variation of freedom and he gives them new lives by letting go of the rules of society that held them down and he is full of this childlike glee, despite the slightly murderous tendencies. and it depends on the type of afterlife one is searching for. In my head the “afterlife” was moving on, like how matter is repurposed and moved into other things, so are soul little bit moving into those they love helping them grieve and move on [ like an organ transplant the soul can be rejected and that can lead to a terrible healing process, or none at all ] so i think he would be life, i mean... look at him, the liveliness of his performances, even for a hypothetical audience

then for Bruce being death it’s not as well thought out. i just really like him having a deeper connection to death. Death is a thing that happens at certain times and he’s against murder because it cuts the time short. He doesn’t bring death he’s helps with the movement of the souls the division process and whatnot. because Bruce has been exposed to death from his parents death. He learned that death in a thing must occur, but there was a right and wrong way, and a good and bad. Death is the finishing of the cycle. it is harshest form of growth. But it has to be at the right time, The wrong time is vital and when done incorrectly it can affect everything [ it’s why you can’t go back in time and kill people, it will mess up everything ]. Bruce is able to see the value of life, and respect it. He knows that you can never rush, everything will happen in due time. 

look at their dynamic, the way Jerome is playful and ready to have fun. He isn’t taking into consideration the reality of the situation only focusing on the lighter side. he has no form, mimicking fiction. Bruce has form he is solid and steady, he knows how to stand because he has understanding in the meaning behind it. Natural Death is the ebb and flow of a tide. There are times of diseases [ spring tides ] there are times when death is low and everyone is healthy [ neap tides ]. Life is a thing that is constant yes, but it reflects the people living. Baby Boom after WWII, it is affected by art [ renaissance after the plague ] They are similar but not the same. There is a partnership between the two, but the outside variable create such a division that different things are divided.  

there’s a lot of things in the universe to specify like is Death a job which Bruce was recruited and brought back in the alleyway shot with his parents, or if it was the way he was form, sort of like a god. i’m partial toward the first because i like the two of them being able to move on from their traumas through that and thus helping each other. They’ll help each grow, and by doing that growing together. Like the plants that have a clear separate base, but as they grew you can see where they merged with one another, and it you were to look at the root system you wouldn’t be able to separate the roots. And since these are different “plant” they require and give back difference nutrients. Without each other the soil would become stripped bare after so long and they would wither and die in isolation. 

[theghostwritersstory-blog]

“I WAS CHEATED ON!”

SOCIAL MEDIA-TION

Recently, while getting into a heated debate, on a popular social app, a guy decided to throw the fact that I had been “cheated on” in my face. This is a classic case of someone not having enough facts, or words to back up their debate/argument, so instead they throw insults-- what THEY consider to be insults, anyway. This is something I’m used to, being that my debating skills are pretty A1, the only thing that can stop them are usually things that have nothing to do with said topic. 

Now, the back-story behind this, is that I happened to ask him about the girl my ex cheated on me with, when it first happened. Because social media makes this world very small (mutuals, subtweets, hints), I had every reason to assume he knew something about the incident. And for those of you wondering why I would ask another person, and why I would go “that far”, or be “that dumb”, just be aware if you were in my situation, and somone was going as far to hide the details from you as my ex did to me, you would understand. The last thing I thought I’d ever be doing at my age was digging for answers from a third-party source, about a man I thought I knew, but life comes at you fast.

Social media has not only made dating harder, but its made the world a lot more transparent, to an extent. And what most people don't realize about me, is that as “private” as I can be, there is really no shame in my game as far as spilling the beans on my lessons learned. In fact, it really motivates me, and lifts a weight off my shoulders. 

ONCE IT’S PUBLIC, I’M SHARING

I keep a lot to myself, unless something happens in a public light, to me, or has been discussed publicly (in a way that it didn't happen). I’ve had plenty of falling outs with people that I have never discussed or posted. So what makes a situation post-able for me? If the situation causes me a great deal of trauma, or was done in a way to try and create damage in my world (publicly)... it will be turned into a discussion topic, before it can be fully let go. This is my process, and I don’t expect for everyone to “get it”.

So, the fact that this situation was made public, thanks to social media (where the girl my ex cheated with, posted him on her story for NYE) I can write about it. And as for the guy I was arguing with, that called himself “exposing” my ex? All he did was give me the green light to start my next post. 

THE ‘IF I FEEL THIS WAY, YOU MUST TOO’ PHENOMENON 

I’ve also learned that if something embarrases others, they assume it must be the same for you, so they project:

“Why is she telling us this?”

“Why do we need to know?”

“Why share your business?”

But their reality is not mine. It took me a long time to realize that what works for some, just doesnt work for me, and vice versa. And that usually the people projecting that onto me were going through their own internal battles and struggles, but they didn't yet feel free enough to release or share that. 

Over time, I've just learned to be less judgmental as to how people decide to relieve their traumas, because I’ve realized not everyone will understand how I choose to heal, nor do I see why they care. “They” can’t see the way my life does a complete 180 when I decide to do this one simple thing, release my truth. I’ve even started to see life as a game, every time I do something outside of my comfort zone, I’m rewarded in an external way (job, money, faith). It may sound weird to some, but it’s not for them to understand. 

NO SHAME, NO GAIN

I encourage women to say they’ve been cheated on, with pride, in a male chauvinistic world, that creates this double standard, insinuating women are to blame for a man’s infedelities. 

And personally, I refuse to feel low because someone I was with chose to cheat, with a girl that... let’s just say was pretty “known”, and not in the best way. Social media is small, and it’s made even smaller if you’re promiscuous, male or female. (This is not me throwing shade, but this is the truth.)

Let’s just say I immediately went and got tested, just to make sure everything  was ok, with ME. The only thing that I’m thankful for is going to the doctors, and being told that I was completely healthy. And no, I never got back with this person, but seeing how low he would go, and the lack of standards, made me question what was going on during the whole relationship. And I think it’s very scary how people can have you trusting them, while they simultaneously are out here putting you in danger, for their own selfish gains. But I will say, being aware of how much trusting a person can actually put you in harm’s way is very eye opening.

WHEN MEN BRAG TO “FRIENDS”

The night of NYE, my ex went on to brag to one of his “friends” about how this girl was his, “p*ssy for the night”, a disturbing phrase that I will never quite forget. My ex had convinced me that he was spending the holidays with his dying grandfather, meanwhile there he was getting spotted on social media, in other snap stories, etc. 

This is where I say social media is made so small, because of course these same “friends” of his ended up getting the info back to me. My ex tried so hard to fit in and “flex” for a group of guys that always treated him like the underdog. He also went so far to attempt to hide this from me, even deleted mutuals that we had, he change his story settings, deleted posts, etc. 

This person went so far to “hide” these things from me, not realizing that social media is forever, and that word travels fast. There is no “bro code” when social media is involved. Nor when you have friends that actually wish they had a woman like you had. Also, something I notice of men who openly try and disrespect women, for the attention of other men, usually get the least respect in their friend groups. These men are usually overcompensating to feel that void. He went around bragging to the same friends that told me about him being a cheater, like I wouldn't find out, how ironic. 

SEEKING VALIDATION

I think it’s because certain men, especially ones with low self esteem, are constantly looking for that next badge of approval or acceptance, that they handle things the way they do. I had even seen it with the way he constantly posted pics of me on social media. He got so much validation from it, that he wouldn't even take them down once we were over. And I'm not a cocky person at all, but I definately made him look good, in every possible way. 

So many people would always try to discredit him for his “looks”, and they would wonder why I was with him, but I always defended him and called these people shallow. At one point, the same friends of his that most-likely encouraged his cheating behavior, were the same ones constantly asking if I had friends for them.

Once the relationship was over and I made it clear I wasn't getting back together with him, this is when he started gas-lighting me for figuring out the truth. This was when he realized that to feel some power in the ending of the relationship, he had to turn it around on me. All of a sudden, I was “crazy” for figuring out all that this person did behind my back. I had to beg for him to take my pics down. He would say I was crazy for hitting him up to take, MY pictures down. I no longer wanted to be associated after the public incident. 

GET TESTED

I told him to take down the pictures of him and I, and to post the girl he had cheated with. But this was not something he even felt comfortable even doing. But, he was comfortable when he was bragging to friends about his, “p*ssy for the night”. 

He might have wanted to mention the permanent STD his new fling had, or the “bros” of his that she had slept with prior to him. But men won't mention that part will they? ‘Cause the truth doesn't sound as good as the fairytale they make up for the approval. They won't mention the TYPE of girl thy cheat with. 

He didn't share the fact that the night after he cheated, when he realized this girl was only jealous of hs girlfriend, and didn't really want him... he was blowing my phone up, covering up lies, bribing me with money, backtracking all his prior statements, like I didnt know. He even tried to lie, saying he hadn't seen this girl since college.

Slowly but surely, the reality of everything I thought I knew about this person came crashing down. I had never dealt with such a pathological liar, nor had I ever seen anything like it in life. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. How do you lie about something that has been seen by so many others via socials? But it was also a relief to finally known the truth, in some odd way. 

The oddest thing is, during the relationship I had great times, and shared great memories with this person. But the way a situation ends, says a lot more than what the entire two year relationship could. It took a long time to get over, because part of me was always searching for a glimpse of that loving, sweet, and always caring person that I thought I once knew. It was waking up from that illusion which caused my brief suffering. 

DEVIL’S ADVOCATE: WHY SHARE THIS?

Now no one has asked me this question, but I constantly do this thing, where I play devil’s advocate with myself. It helps me get better at debating, overall, as well as having a “comeback” to questions I might be asked. Don't ask why, I just like to stay prepared . Maybe I’ve been conditioned, because I know what to expect from people -- opposition.

The reason I feel it’s so important to share the fact that my ex cheated, is because for far too long its always seemed like this is looked at as a stigma, or burden for the woman to bear. Often times, when a man is unfaithful in a relationship these are the narratives you hear:

NARRATIVES:

”She got played.”

So often in these situations, it truly comes down to the man playing himself. Nine times out of ten, at least in the situations I’ve been in, when a man cheated on me, not only did they end up begging to come back, but they ended up in situations where they actually looked stupid. Situations where they seemed to instantly realize the grass wasn’t greener. And found themselves SOL, when they thought they’d be welcomed back. And this may be my ego speaking, but I don't believe that a majority of women ever get “played”. Even if a man doesn’t attempt to come back, this isn't a measure of your worth. It could mean they have too much pride to admit they have ruined a good thing, and some men aren't mature enough to even face that reality, I'm learning.

I feel like most women uprage after situations like this (mentally, emotionally, and physcially) and end up seeing their true worth. I even used to joke and say I wanted my heart broken so that I can GLOW-UP. I’ve also noticed that in the long-run, the men that do you wrong never seem to fully get over it. Even an ex I pined over in the past, back in college, called me months ago wanting to “talk”, and I was so unfazed by his call. I ignored it. Women may hurt more at first, but men never seem to get over that hurt in the long run, I’ve realized. So who is really “getting played”? I see too many women claim and own this, when in reality it is so far from true. 

“Playing” a good woman, who loved you despite your flaws, despite what you did or didn't have, and despite your short-comings, is hard to find. You may not realize it in the them moment, but a good woman doesn’t get played, she just adjusts, and gets better for the right man herself.

 “She couldn't keep a man.”

We hear this all the time. It implies that to “keep” a man, you must do a,b,and c, and if you can't keep him, or his interest, you’ve failed miserably, correct? Not exactly. You see, there are women that will do everything they practically can for a man, and they still get cheated on. There is no surefire way to keep a cheater from being what he was, probably before he even met you-- a cheater!

There are even some women that turn a blind eye to cheating, as they feel like it is a prize to keep a man, no matter the cost. And I don't judge that anymore, I think everyone has their own standards, and I've learned not to judge what is acceptable in other relationships or not. Relationships are so hard to judge, because you realize that no matter how much you tell a third-party, no one can truly understand you and the bond you and that person share. I try to keep this in mind before I judge what the next person puts up with. 

However, I decided a while ago that if lowering my standards when it comes to unfaithfulness, just to keep a relationship, was just not going to be my portion, no matter how deep I thought our love once was. I put up with that back in college, but I’m grown now. I don't have the same mind I once had, then. 

Most men can’t keep YOU. I think most men do realize the qualities of the woman that they have, they just don’t assume that woman will ever leave them. They start to think maybe that kind of woman will come a dime a dozen, and when they see that’s not the case, they rush back. But you can’t keep me, with cheating ways. It took me a long time to realize that very literally and figuratively, men could not obtain the standards they started off with, and couldn't keep ME. A lot more women have to realize this. 

I feel like when you decide to sabatoge a whole relationship for one night, that shows me where I am on the list of prioroties, and that’s unforgivable. I just try to stay aware of what I will not tolerate. And I can name a few people that would still love me in their life if I decided to turn a blind eye to their bullshit, but that’s not something my heart allows me to do. And I’m aware of the conflicts that arise form me choosing not to believe that “all men cheat”, but does that mean I stop fighting for what’s right, for me? I just don't think that’s the case. 

-”She’s crazy.”

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she joked to me,”Men will drive you to crazy, drop you off at the destination, and then CALL you crazy,” and I felt that. I’ve realized, since it’s almost expected for women to be “crazy”, this is a good word to use whenever a woman is actually being logical about something that the man doesn't want to deal with. Rarely do women wake up one day and decide to be “crazy”, out the blue. Most times, the man will just leave out all the ways in which he triggered a woman to get to that “crazy” point. 

In conclusion, women go through a lot at times. Including being made a villain in situations that a lot of us are actually victims to. And no this isn’t insinuating that all men are bad, and women are good. It just seems like on a large scale, men forget that women often get tired of them too. Women lose interest and feel like cheating, and sometimes we’d like to see how other guys differ from the man we are with, but most times I see us women staying loyal. And it’s just assumed that “men will be men”, and have their fun.

To any woman that relates to my story, just know you aren't alone.