#i was weirdly afraid to post this. i'm trying my best lately but it doesn't seem to be good enough but i gotta get over that!

[theveryworstthing]

i have a guide for y’all today.

How To Prepare A Rabbit. A Simple And Peaceful Guide To Traditional Island Funerals As Led By Vultures Respectful Of Rabbit Culture With Perfect Customer Service Records Pertaining To Never Being Cursed Or Tortured By Vengeful Restless Spirits.

The Body Is Found. A crowded bedside, an open field, inside a room who’s door was still rusted shut until we broke it down how in the world did they get in there??? Somewhere on the island, a rabbit’s body is found and sometimes they are attended to by vultures. Some vultures prepare the dead a little differently, but these are the steps taken by senior priestesses Fifteen-Stab-Wounds and Irresponsible Botany and so are nearly identical to traditional rabbit-led funeral customs.

You’ll know when we get to the bit rabbits usually don’t do.

Steps Are Taken. A special tincture made of wine and charcoal is applied to the soles of the feet (if they still have them), which are then gently pressed first onto a piece of cloth and then onto a piece of edible rice paper. The cloth is the ‘second to last step’, and is kept for the funeral display. The rice paper is the ‘last step’ and is left where the body was found as an offering to any malicious spirits or persistent sorrows that were hounding them to the very end. This is supposed to be a symbolic gesture to give the soul the peace it might need to leave for The Rest instead of lingering out of worry or fear but something is eating those things the moment the body is gone and no one is looking, and something flattens the grass in interlocking circles outside of the morgue if the offering is forgotten.

To be fair this last part could be urban legend and asshole teens but something is definitely eating those dang rice papers.

Identification. The body is identified through necromancy or other ghost conversation if possible(making sure that the rabbit confirming their identity is the real deal and not…something else). This process, known as opening the left eye, also seeks to find the definitive cause of death (at least from their point of view) and secure final wishes before the soul begins their connection fast. This fast is a period of time where the dead should not be contacted. This is a time for reflection, adjustment, and mourning for the living, as well as a settling period for the dead. Fresh ghosts are a little volatile if they don’t pass on to The Rest very soon after death and can become trapped in the living world though their attachment to a person. After the soul is safely in The Rest loved ones are brought over for a second identification, known as opening the right eye, and real prep begins.

Cold Storage. The body is refrigerated above ground in specially built storehouses(the dead should not be brought underground into a warren or burrow), inspected one last time (careful notes are taken), gutted, cleaned with island fresh water(or any salt water), and readied for the funeral soon after. Well, some of the body is readied. The head, arms and feet are preserved and prepped for the funeral but the rest is put back into refrigeration (except for the heart, which is burned or thrown to the bugs asap) since rabbits consider it cleaner and only really care about those ‘main bits’ unless the dead had a very specific request. And even then it depends of the rate of decomposition. The less contact an entire group that lives in close quarters has with the majority of a rotting corpse that might carry disease, the better,

There is an exception for kits. They have their innards removed but are kept whole and are ‘fixed up’ as much as possible. It makes things…less worse.

Portraits And Dressings. Floor length death masks are made by painting a portrait on a circle of canvas, sewing it to the mask, and draping it over the face of the dead. These portraits can be very simple, putting eye color, fur patterns, and notable scars inside a general rabbit outline or they can be beautifully lifelike likenesses. It really depends on the customs of your warren and the artist in your local funeral home. In the past people with the means and access to good artists would go to get their portrait drawn every year just to have something nice to pin to their death mask (plus people just like having pictures of themselves). In modern times this is still done, but now the few that have gotten their hands on cameras have photographs as an additional option.

Bodies are displayed suspended on round yellow straw mats made to resemble the sun. The head, arms, and feet are arranged around a false body of flowers, dried fruit rinds, straw, and smoking incense. A brightly colored cloak is draped over them, allowing the flesh and fur bits of their ‘body’ to show. Flowers, pretty stones, and precious items are tucked in beside them and on top of them to further the illusion. The cloth with their ‘second to last step’ lies beneath their feet and a line of ash mixed with tiny jagged stones or thorns leads from it to the nearest doorway. The line symbolizes a kind of path to their death that they don’t want you to follow. You do not step on it.  

The Service. Close family enters before the service to view the body if they wish and kind of just privately mourn. During the service mourners walk up to the body one by one after an attendant paints vibrant pigments onto their palms(choosing the color and amount of pigment that best represents their relationship with the dead), and briefly grasp the trailing edge of the death mask. You are not supposed to speak during this ritual. There is no one there to talk to anymore. This is just letting go.

This is all fairly quick unless people linger.

Food. When everyone who wants to has had their turn a memorial meal is served in the nearest warren dining hall. The death mask is taken to this meal and draped over a stand in the brightest area of the room. This is the real service. This is where, after staring out into space for fifteen minutes before someone hands you a drink and the remnants of chalky paint on your thumb smears ‘friendship’ on the glass that the pain hits. During this meal people grieve and sing and cry and fight and tell stories about the dead. It’s very chaotic and rowdy compared to the beginning of the funeral. It has to be. Everyone has to prove to themselves that they’re ready to keep going.

Food. Rabbit funeral directors will usually stay the whole memorial meal, which can last all night. But unless they personally know the person, vultures like the esteemed Fifteen and Irresponsible with arrive for the first toast and leave about an hour after the kits go to bed. Nobody talks about why they leave so early.

While the revelry continues, the body is back at the funeral home being butchered and skinned by the priestesses. Ears, distinctive bits of fur, and tattoos are all set aside for the grave slab. Everything else is mostly sliced off the bones, which have holes carefully drilled into the ends so the bugs can retrieve the marrow without trying to gnaw through them. The meat and previously refrigerated viscera is thrown into a big pot with some of the flowers and smoky herbs from the funeral, doused in boiling water, and left to stew a little. The bones (and any meat that can’t possibly be cooked or eaten that day) are taken to the bug kennels where carrion beetles and maggots make them shiny and clean before sun-bleaching.

And the priestess’ meal is delicious. A little sad at times, but delicious. Fifteen still cries just a little, just a tear drop, every time her wife holds her talons and presses their foreheads together over the steaming stew as they pray for the rabbit inside it. She can’t help it, she’s sentimental. And also, to both of them it’s just…a wonderful process. By making sure that the body is consumed by life, useful and beautiful in the end, they honor that person and acknowledge that death sometimes creates a fear and grief so tangible that all you can do is eat it or transform it but mainly get it out of the world before it hurts people more (the rabbits’ memorial meal is the same principle really, just not as eloquent and with more angry weeping about how the deceased still owed them a solid.)

Grave Slabs. When the meat is gone and the bones are cleaned, bleached, and prepared then the grave slab construction begins. Bones, ears, tattoos, significant trinkets, etc, are arranged in a mold by suspending them in layers of crystal clear (sometimes colored) resin. They are particularly careful with the skull, making sure to coat it with a layer of protective resin but leaving the jaw hinged and exposed since after their connection fast is over necromancers can use it to contact the dead. They are also very careful with the ears, as they must protrude from the resin mass as if still attached to a living rabbit or at least be posed inside the mass in a natural way. Skulls are a link to living people, but ears are seen as a link to their experience in the living world. Both are very important.

When the grave slab is ready it is delivered to whatever grave area the family desires. These areas are always sunny, above ground, and very rocky or laid with cobblestones. While some grave slabs are simply propped up on simple stand, others are bricked into low stone walls, making some old family plots glimmering bone mosaicked monuments. Once the grave slab is secure and the family is satisfied you’re done.

And that’s how you prepare a rabbit. Serves everyone.

Eventually.

[retroateez]

1980s horror film - s.mingi

hello all!!!

it’s been a lot longer than i intended, but a bunch of stuff came up and i both didn’t have time and didn’t feel like writing. this also wasn’t what i initially planned on posting, but life works weirdly and here we are. that being said, i wrote this in a way that is different to how i typically write so i apologise if it sounds/feels weird or awkward. regardless, i hope u enjoy! (also i didn’t realise it was all lower case so please ignore the inconsistency lmao)

//

pairing: song mingi x reader genre: unrequited love?? idk how to tag it oops word count: 1660 this is inspired by a song titled ‘1980s horror film II’ by wallows! 

//

mingi had been waiting for eons to score a date with y/n. way too long. all of his friends (mainly wooyoung), teased him constantly about her, but he had never gathered the courage to do anything about it.

they'd been friends for a long while, even hanging out a few times together at the cinema, or just going out for lunch before mingi realised he had an absolutely huge crush on her.

recently he'd been avoiding her like the plague, using volleyball practice, or band rehearsal with the boys as an excuse not to hang out with her. 

that was, until one sunny saturday afternoon, when she called him out of the blue. he took a few moments to collect himself, staring at the ringing phone in his hand like it was a ticking bomb seconds away from a devastating explosion.

"hey dingus!" y/n called down the phone once he had collected himself enough to answer. "what are you doing?" she asked.

"nothing. why?" 

"i'm bored." she declared. "wanna come over?"

"s-sure!" mingi agreed straight away.

"sweet. see you soon then!" y/n hung up, and mingi was convinced he might pass out.

he'd never been to her house before. maybe she really did like him back? oh god, he was starting to internally panic now; how was he supposed to act? he didn't want to be a creep but he didn't want to be painfully awkward either. oh god. oh god oh god oh god.

"get it together, mingi." he scowled at himself in the mirror, shaking his faded red hair side to side. he couldn’t make a fool of himself in front of her; he absolutely would not allow it. 

this could be his chance, to finally muster enough balls to ask y/n out before it was too late. yes, he'd decided; today would be the day.

-----

half an hour later, an exceptionally nervous song mingi knocked on the door of his highschool crush. he reached up and brushed a shaking hand through his hair, wondering whether his legs were numb from fear or the chilling bite of the surprisingly cold weather. 

a few moments passed, then the door swung open to reveal y/n. she was dressed in her usual style, comfy, stylish, beautiful, very y/n. in truth, she could be wearing a trashbag and mingi would still say she looked gorgeous.

she gave him a wide, toothy grin and stepped aside to let him in.

"welcome to mi casa!" she motioned to the hallway dramatically, one arm sweeping out in front of her and almost bashing her elbow into the kitchen doorframe.

"i wanna watch a movie!" she said, once she had recovered from the near injury. "i've already got the snacks ready, so let's go!"

she began bounding up the stairs, mingi following her before realising where they were headed and freezing abruptly in his tracks.

"we're going upstairs?" he breathed, anxiety flooding him from head to foot.

just what exactly was she expecting from him?

"yeah?" she shrugged. "is that a problem?"

"no!" he replied, perhaps a little too quickly. "no, that's not a problem at all."

-----

he was scared.

bordering on terrified.

y/n's bedroom was dark; having pulled the curtains before mingi's arrival to avoid the sun glaring onto the television.

as the minutes went on, mingi became less and less sure just what she was planning this afternoon.

she paced over to the tv set, opening a dvd case and slotting a disc into the player.

"it's a 1980s horror film," she explained. "i've been wanting to watch it for ages, but i didn't want to watch it alone... you don't mind, do you?"

mingi shook his head quickly. he did in fact mind, not being the biggest fan of the horror genre, but he'd made it this far, and backing out now was definitely not an option. plus, if wooyoung caught wind of mingi chickening out, he would never hear the end of it.

"here," she motioned to her bed; a double, with lilac sheets and an appropriate amount of cushions bundled up by her pillows. "take a seat."

unsure of whether he should, but not wanting to be rude, mingi crawled across her bed, sitting down amidst the cushions and crossing his legs like an obedient, yet timid child. he watched y/n grab her desk chair, dragging it across the room and placing it beside the bed, distanced but still close enough to mingi to completely throw him off his guard.

"don't you want the be-"

"nonsense!" she cut him off before he could even get the words out. "you're my guest, so you get the bed."

mingi was bewildered. never in his life had he expected to be in this situation. it appeared that y/n had absolutely zero intentions of doing anything romantic. which, don't get him wrong, was totally fine, but regardless he was still confused.

all the cheesy high school romance movies he’d watched, and all the young adult fiction novels he had read hinted that when you were invited to your crush’s house, alone, it usually indicated they wanted something romantic. or something more. absolutely nothing had prepared him for, or even suggested that the current circumstances would ever occur in a million years. mingi felt rather cheated, to be honest.

was she making him wait on purpose? deliberately staying away from him in the hopes that he'd just cave in and sweep her off her feet? y/n didn't seem like that kind of girl, but mingi had been wrong about a lot of things when it came to y/n. 

the movie began to play, and they sat surrounded by darkness, mingi decided he would simply go with the flow. he was a nervous wreck, but he wasn't a pervert; he wouldn't do anything unless y/n initiated it. the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable. 

despite reaching a solution, he couldn't get it out of his mind how close they were in the moment. glancing to his side, he could very much reach out and gently touch her hair. or softly caress her cheek. 

obviously, he wouldn't, because that would be weird. and that was a vibe he was trying to avoid today.

halfway through the movie, y/n jumped up, explaining she had to use the bathroom and scaring the shit out of mingi in the process.

he kept his gaze fixed on the movie playing in front of him, but his mind wandered to other places. he sighed deeply.

he didn't even know what to say to her.

she's always on his mind,

and yet,

he's too afraid to say anything. how long would this pathetic pining go on for? surely it would be better for him to take wooyoung's advice and just go for it? otherwise he'll be playing this game for god knows how long. 

that was it.

he simply couldn't help the way he was feeling; he needed to get it out, to tell her how he truly feels.

and maybe, just maybe, she'd feel the same way too.

y/n comes back, and mingi gears himself up for his confession. digging into the deepest corners of his mind to find the right words to use. deciding to abandon his previous resolution to let y/n initiate, he convinces himself to take charge and follow the lead of every heteronormative teen movie in existence, and sweep the girl off her feet.

until she ditches the chair, motioning for mingi to scooch over and then she lays down right beside him. 

the bed is fairly large, but then again mingi is no regular sized teenage boy, his lanky frame taking up a considerable portion of the bed.. as a result, his right side and her left are pressed flush against each other, and poor mingi thinks he's about to explode.

but still, he inhales deeply, surveying the situation.

the lights are off, 

the mood was right.

perfect.

mingi lets her settle for a short while, which is really him internally psyching himself up, before setting his masterplan into action.

he turns his head slowly to look at y/n, noticing how invested she is in the movie and he pouts a little.

he wants her attention.

she still doesn't notice, so he opts for placing his hand on her cheek as gently as he can and guides her gaze towards him.

her eyebrows furrow together in confusion, but she makes no effort to move away.

frozen anxiety that mingi misinterprets as a green light.

his eyes fall shut, and his upper body leans forward the tiniest amount. he's so close. so close to finally being able to show y/n how he feels. he's seconds away from having a weight lifted off his shoulders. he can't wait to shove it in wooyoung's face either, all the times the younger boy had called him a pussy had pissed mingi off to no end, but look at him now wooyoung, look at him now.

all he needed was for y/n to bridge the gap between them.

but instead, a small hand on mingi's shoulder pushes him back, and his eyes snap open abruptly, and he feels his stomach fall straight through his ass.

"y/n, i-"

the look on her face stops mingi dead in his tracks, because he can't read her expression.

is she mad? is she super pissed that he tried to kiss her? he'd understand if she was, it probably wasn't the best course of action but it was the best he could come up with. is she angry? is she hurt? disappointed? he searches her eyes, burning into his, for answers but comes up short. all he can do is try and guess how she's feeling, but realistically he's no expert, he's no mindreader, how is he suppo-

"mingi, i'm really not that into guys." 

oh.