#i was watching the ep with my catholic parents and we were all like Why is this priest hitting on eddie rn

[demiromanticmickey]

On today's "I am SO not normal about Dead Friend Forever": Discussing Catholicism and Colonization in this gay Thai slasher series

Some background on me: I am from a Latine Catholic family. Raised as a non-practicing Catholic (we didn't go to church or pray). Then my parents enrolled me in a Catholic school that I attended from 5th grade to the end of 7th grade. Today, I am not Catholic and have never really considered myself as such.

Ok, so in the flashback episodes of DFF, I have been noticing a lot of things. My findings under the cut.

Let's start with this crucifix and photo of the Virgin Mary and a baby Jesus.

Screenshot from ep. 5.

The camera lingers here a bit so we're obviously meant to pay attention to the phrase. I put the screenshot through Google translate's image translator and the translation it gave me was, "Think good, do good, be a good person." I didn't think much of it when I first watched the episode other than it was supposed to establish that the boys attend a Christian or Catholic school.

But then there was this image posted on Be On Cloud's Instagram (also from ep. 5): X

Zooming in, we can see there's another picture of Mary in the background. Watching the classroom scenes, it's easy to miss because the series itself is more washed out than the official photos posted. But this emphasis on Mary led me to believe the school is a Catholic one. So out of curiosity, I looked up the schools the writers and directors attended because I felt I was onto something here. And boy, was I!

Source: MDL

Ma-Deaw, if you didn't know, is one of the directors of Dead Friend Forever (he also directed Manner of Death and Inhuman Kiss , and lots of other things).

One Google search later (X) and I learned "Montfort College" is a Catholic school. It started out as a primary school that later added a secondary school as well.

Now let's take a closer look at some of the details of this school:

First, the school's motto "Labor Conquers All Things". This reminded me of the phone conversation Tee had with his uncle:

On my first watch, this sounded familiar to me but I couldn't really place why. It wasn't until I saw this other Tumblr post (X) that pointed out it's similar to a bible quote from the New Testament. The quote varies a bit depending on which version of the bible you're using but it's along the lines of, "He who does not work, neither shall he eat".

This is meant to discourage "laziness". Nevermind the fact that people deserve to eat simply because we get hungry and need food to survive. The idea that we only "deserve" things based on productivity is an extremely colonial one. — Reminder also that Tee is being forced into this "work" in the first place. He's just a high school kid. I don't need to like his character to understand how fucked up his situation is.

Then there's the patron of the school. St. Louis de Montfort was a French Catholic priest most known for his study in Mariology. What is Mariology (X)? The study of Mary, the mother of Jesus. I didn't know that was a thing but it's unsurprising considering how prominent images of Mary were in my own religious upbringing. And she's what started me down this rabbit hole in the first place. Mary is a big deal to the Catholics. I'm going to be paying even more attention now if more Mary imagery pops up.

The Garden of Eden and Original Sin

Now I want to draw attention to these images:

Screenshots from ep. 7

Here we have Non and Phee biting into an apple as they leisure around this lush green field. We know they've visited this location more than once because they're wearing different outfits in the screenshots. And I think it's important to note that it's Phee holding the apple and offering it to Non.

The use of the word "bait" in the bts of ep. 7 is quite interesting too. (X)

The Garden of Eden was the paradise in which Adam and Eve resided. In this garden, there were many trees to eat from. The one tree Adam and Eve were forbidden by God to eat from was the Tree of Knowledge. A serpent (Satan), first tempted Eve into taking from the tree to eat it's fruit. And then Eve gave the fruit to Adam. That is Original Sin. And because Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, all humans thereafter are born sinful and bad, and can only find salvation through God.

Of course in the scene between Phee and Non, the sin the apple represents is being gay. And it's after this, and after the bracelet scene, that Non becomes involved with Por's film and his tragedy begins.

Zoomed in screenshot from ep. 5

And I wonder if the bracelet scene is the last time Phee and Non visit this forest location. It would parallel how Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden once they sinned.

Final Thoughts

You give me a story that criticizes Western religion and how it's used as a tool for oppression and colonization, and I'm gonna eat that shit up. I am gonna eat it up. Every. Single. Time.

I really wasn't expecting anything like this from Dead Friend Forever. This level in attention to detail is unmatched. I don't think I've watched a more well planned out show. And no matter where DFF goes from here, these seven episodes will always hold a special place in my heart. 💗

[sapphicmsmarvel]

EP: Home

LOOK AT THOSE DIMPLESSSSS

masterlist 

You were in your home state visiting family. One of your cousins had her bridal party coincidentally around the time you were visiting your parents. You were having a great time with your cousins, but you missed Emily. 

Emily couldn’t join you this time but when you come to the wedding, she’s joining you. 

Which you were nervous for. 

Emily and you had been together for three years, you kept her a secret until your mom posted a picture of you two on facebook saying, “my daughter has the most beautiful girlfriend! Happy three years you two 💖”

It was a photo of you two baking in the kitchen, Garcia snapped it after Emily smeared icing on your nose and mouth. You were kissing Emily's nose, her face was all scrunched up and she was smiling. 

You loved your mother dearly, you just wished that she would’ve given you a warning before posting it. You got tons of texts and calls about it, your family was quite nosey. Loving, but nosey. 

You were driving to your cousin's house, Emily's voice on the speaker. “Baby, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She reassured.

“Em, I didn’t come out to them before they found out about you! It’s weird going to a family party not having a secret.”

“I mean,” she began, “you do still kind of, have a secret.” 

You smiled, the picture of the ring coming into your head. “Yeah, they won’t find out about that for another two months though.” 

You didn’t want to show up to someone else’s wedding shower with an engagement ring on your finger. You didn’t want to steal the spotlight. Especially since you and the bride don’t have the closest relationship. 

You loved her obviously, you grew up together, but she got this I’m-Elite attitude in her teen years. That’s when you pulled away. 

If the bridal shower was farther away from the wedding, or if you got engaged before the wedding festivities started happening, that’s when you would’ve revealed the ring.

But, that was not the case. 

The ring was at home, you weren’t even telling your parents about the engagement. 

You sighed, gripping the steering wheel. “I wish you were here with me.” You said wistfully.

“I wish I was with you too. Don’t worry, next month I’ll be right by your side.” 

You smiled, pulling into the driveway, “okay, I’m here. I’ll text you in case I get anxious.” 

“I’m sure you’ll do great. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

----------------

It was five minutes into the party before you got a question about Em. 

“So no girlfriend?” 

Your relative was a very devout catholic woman. You knew that it’d be hard to see a queer relationship in the family for her. She’s never been outwardly homophobic that you’ve seen. But, she was trying to be supportive, yet, tiptoeing. That much you could tell. 

Thank God you profiled for a living. 

“Nah, she had to be at Quantico.” You smiled, picturing Emily’s ‘thinking’ face. Her lip between her teeth as her eyes absorbed the text she was reading. “But she’ll be at the wedding, that’s when I planned for everyone to know about her.” 

She nodded, “she looks very nice, your mom is just enthusiastic about you dating.” 

You laughed, “yeah, when she met Em, I almost died of embarrassment from her pulling out the photo albums.”

“But that’s all the fun of being a parent!” She nudged your shoulder. 

Your chest clenched, you appreciated the normalcy in this conversation. 

“I was worried…” you trailed off.

She nodded in understanding, “to be completely honest, we were surprised that you’re with a woman. And yes, it’ll take some adjusting. But you are family and we love you and Emily regardless.” She pulled you into a side hug. “We’re here for you Y/N.”

You blinked back tears and swallowed the lump in your throat. “Thank you.” 

She smiled again and walked away. You quickly pulled out your phone and texted Emily. 

“All is well.”

Before Em could respond, your relatives granddaughter, your cousin, walked up. She smiled at you, handing you a glass of champagne as you stuck your phone back in your pocket. “What was that?” You took the glass.

“Oh just me being emotional.” You looked down and swirled your champagne. 

“Just so you know, they asked me if I knew about her.” 

“Duh, of course you did.”

“But I said no,” she nudged your shoulder. “Why?” 

“This family is the noisiest family to exist. It’s your story, you should tell it.” “Thanks Tay.” You gave her a side hug.

“You should come back here if you want.”

You shook your head, “I’m starting a life out there. I don’t think I belong anywhere else.” 

“Just know that, we love you and I’m sorry if this family pushed you away.” 

“I know. The family cliques didn’t drive me away. The want for a place that didn’t know me did. I wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew me. Where I could be authentically myself.” 

She swallowed. “I can understand that.”

“You know you can come out to DC anytime right? Just call me and you can stay for a few days.” You sipped your drink.

Taylor smiled, “I’d like that.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night in your hotel room, you were thinking about what you told Taylor. How you started a new life. 

Emily was your home, her laugh was a song to your ears. Her smile could make any room shine bright. Her cinnamon spice smell was a comfort. Her weird habit of mixing scrambled eggs with ketchup, her horrendous cooking that made you both giggle. Dancing at three am when you both can’t sleep because of nightmares. 

Making hot chocolate every sunday morning. Getting pizza and watching horror movies every friday. Random walks in the park when the Japanese Cherry Blossoms are in bloom. 

That one time where you were both drunk and tried to talk to the Abraham Lincoln statue at the Lincoln Memorial. Going to Madame Tussauds and getting extremely creeped out by the wax figures. Exploring the Smithsonian museums and making Night At The Museum references.  

When you’re cooking and she’ll grind into you or smack your ass. Or when baking you guys will throw flour at each other or put dollops of frosting on each other's noses. 

Or when you’re having a bad day, you’ll just bury yourself into her cleavage and she’ll run her fingers through your hair. And she’ll do the exact same to you. 

Emily is your home. And you weren’t leaving.

[the-woundupbird]

Hello Dracula Recap 1/4

Okay I will try to organize all my translations and thoughts about the drama into this post so that I can stop info-dumping on my poor friend who has kindly let me go on and on about the show. I’ll post some links to videos so you can watch and understand as I go on with my review/thought dump. 

Essentially it’s three different stories nested into one but the central story is about Anna, an elementary school teacher who has been hiding her 8 year relationship with her girlfriend Sojung from her mother.  The relationship between Anna and her mother is the central source of conflict in the show, more so then the emotional fallout that happens when Sojung breaks up with Anna.

Personally I think the show had if not at least a lesbian writer than some queer women in charge of shaping the show.  People were saying on twitter that it felt too real, almost like a documentary of the painful reality for so many closeted women in South Korea.  To be honest, even as a Korean American I saw so much of my mother and my own relationship with her with regards to my sexuality in the exchanges Anna had with her mother.  

The show begins with Anna and her mother, shaping the major relationship with the show.  Her mother teases her that her face looks bloated and that men care about women’s skin.  Anna straightforwardly says she doesn’t like men and her mother tries to laugh it off but there’s a heaviness to the exchange that is examined later.

In the next scene Anna is at school working as an elementary school teacher.  During break she keeps checking her phone, even contemplating texting the recipient, “Are you busy?”  I was able to pause the show and read some of the earlier messages Anna had sent this person who is revealed to be her girlfriend Sojung and yikes:

Ah… Food? 

You ate and you’re working, right?

 It seems like you’re sleeping. 

Good night.

Busy? I saw you didn’t respond so I’m worried are you sick?

 Okay, I understand. Did you get home? You must be so tired. Get some rest. Sleep well. Did you sleep well?

Anna is stressed because her girlfriend is blowing her off pretty blatantly.  As someone who’s dated in Korea it’s mandatory to be texting every day and even do a phone call.  The level of hands off-ness is a cause for major concern from Anna.  Especially with her girlfriend of 8 years.

When Anna goes to a dinner with her co-workers from school she finally gets a text from Sojung: I have something to tell you.

Anna picks up the phone in an instant and zooms out of the room, ignoring the guy across from her who I totally think was flirting. 

The conversation with Sojung is painful in that it is so evident that Sojung is pulling away and Anna is holding on. 

“It’s me.”

It’s noisy.  Are you outside?

“Yeah I’m at a company dinner.”

Let’s talk later, then.

“No now is fine… I feel like lately I’m the only one chasing after you… I’m the only one trying to hear your voice.”

Did you drink a lot?

“What? No I didn’t drink.”

We said we were gonna meet on Saturday, right? I don’t think I can meet.  Sorry. 

“We haven’t met in almost a month.”

I’m sorry. 

“Why? Why can’t you?”

I’m doing a blind date. My mom is making me.

“With a guy?”

Of course.  With a guy.

“You’re not even gonna lie?”

Anna-ya. I don’t want to hide anymore. 

“Can’t you just lie?”

Let’s talk again tomorrow.

“Sojung-ah!”

Talk to you tomorrow.

And then Anna runs off to chase after her girl, even going to her girlfriend’s house. Quick comment her girlfriend definitely seems well-off.  It sort of makes me wonder how the two of them met.  One person on twitter was musing that maybe instead of being a cc or college couple they met through volunteering and fell in love that way.  Regardless the contrast from an apartment to a house intrigues me because there’s definitely a difference in socio-economic class here.  But I digress.

Anna grabs her phone, after hesitating to rush into Sojung’s house. 

I’m outside your house.  Come down for a sec.

Let’s talk when you’ve calmed down.

Also my parents are home right now.

It can be just for a little.  

Just show me your face.

But Sojung refuses and you have the image of Anna trudging back home.  She sees her mother hugging some man and even though she calls her mother, her call is put on silent and she storms off to go sob at the bus station in frustration.  I want to focus more on Anna but it’s important to note here that her mother sort of chases after men a lot but can’t seem to settle down which is a point of stress for Anna. 

Growing up, Anna struggled to pretend to be happy for her mother meeting new guys and feeling sort of neglected as a result.  All the while Anna puts on a brave face for her mom’s happiness because when she was little Anna’s mother had held her close and whispered “I don’t need anything but Anna. You’re the most precious thing to me.”  The loving words were both a deep compliment but also an unbearable weight on Anna.  It was something that she felt like she had to live by.

This burden only gets worse when Anna was in middle school and was caught presumably kissing or hooking up with her girl friend and got dragged by her gf’s mother to a Catholic church to repent.  

When Anna’s mother is able to pull her out of the church she tells her about how when she was young she also was super obsessed with a girl and she even wrote her letters and followed her around.  “It’ll pass,” she tells Anna. “You’re just young.  Remember when you liked that guy next door? You said you wanted to marry him! So that’s why I’m not even a little worried.”

“But what if it doesn’t pass? What if I stay like this forever?” Anna whispers, staring right at her mother. 

And a world of painful silence is Anna’s answer as her mother just walks away from the question, attempting to forget that the encounter ever happened.  

It flashes forward to high school Anna just watching her mother find a new man and she begins down a journey of hiding her true self to keep things safe for her mother. 

But then things come to a head when Sojung sends Anna a text to break off their relationship:

Actually I’ve been going through a lot lately. Our relationship isn’t like what it used to be. Anna-ya, I don’t want to hurt my parents.  I can’t win.  I can’t throw it away. Let’s end it like this. Thanks for everything. I’ll send your things to you through the mail. It’d be good if you did that too.

Ignoring how that’s probably the coldest thing I’ve ever witnessed in the history of breakups, Anna wonders to herself, will I be okay like this? Later on in episode 2 I think I understand better why Sojung did this but I’ll share my thoughts on the second ep review.

Anna comes home after that devastating day of having her girlfriend of 8 YEARS break up with her to her mother misunderstanding Anna as being upset with her, setting up a ton of Christmas decorations. 

“It’s nice right? My kind daughter, what’s wrong? I don’t like when you’re like this.”

“It’s pretty.” (Yikes at Anna pretending like she isn’t absolutely gutted for the benefit of her mother as per usual in the dynamic)

“I’m going to head in.”

“Are you still mad? You should tell your mom.”

“I’m going to head in.”

“You ah, you were like this when you were little. You were always sulking after it’d all passed.”

“Mom.”

“Isn’t it better to just say it right away and let it all out?”

“Mom.”

“I did this all for you to see! You said you wanted a tree when you were little.”

“Mom, when I was little, when? When I was little, when? And what passed? Nothing’s changed!”

“What didn’t pass?”

… “Christmas didn’t pass.  I’m so tired today.” 

And Anna closes the door and leaves her mother to stare at a picture of her and her daughter together under a Christmas tree.  Personally here I adore the dynamic of Anna just almost barely teasing at the secret the two of them know, her sexuality. But her mother doesn’t quite push her because she’s a little afraid to know.  I’ve had a similar conversation with my own mother and that line between ambiguous and crystal clear is so much harder to parse out than people think.

Anyway I’ll continue this if you guys want but hopefully you like the translation and commentary. Let me know in the replies or my messages if you’d like me to just do straight translation with the clips or continue this style!

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 508

I mean, shame on me for allowing myself to get my hopes up that the show might have turned a corner last week. I should know better by now.

At least Young Ian’s back. And Marsali had a nice moment. And that’s about all I have to say about this episode that’s positive. I swear to fuck, this show hates Claire as much as the author of the books does. Where the fuck is the lead protagonist, show? Can she come back? Can she get a story line of her own that’s more than just a random scene every few episodes, please? And can Bree please be given something to fucking do that doesn’t involve Roger, Jemmy or rape? Does Fergus still even live on the Ridge?

But yeah, I guess let’s just all watch the episode twice so our dumb lady!brains can understand that Matt’s stupid silent movie gimmick was actually ~ArT~ and not, you know, a stupidly bad creative choice. Seriously, fuck that guy.

I can’t tell you how much idgaf about watching Roger teach. Also, Bree’s like his students’ age since she was in college too. So really all this bit is doing is to make me skeeved out about their age difference.

“Can you tell me why anyone would go to the trouble of burying one?” he said, condescendingly, like the doucherocket he is. Do not disrespect Young Ian like that, asshat.

“People live and die by their words.” *gestures to the beautiful shitposts on this hellsite* sure jan dot gif.

I already want to fastforward.

Would 100% rather sit through a lecture on suspension bridges than watch silent movies, tbh.

Hate the title card. Hate this whole gimmick.

Hate.

HAAAAATE.

Roger got hanged. Roger was dumb, Buck was an abusive and toxic fuckwad. But still, Roger got hanged and this is how we find out he’s alive and how he was saved?

It should be this big emotional moment. It should make me feel a thing in spite of myself. But nope! Gotta do this fucking silent movie thing. Which is hilariously terrible. And I laughed at it the whole time. In a mean and judgey fashion. What a craptastic creative choice. Whoever’s idea that was is a fucking idiot. *stares at a certain pompous af showrunner*

Ok but for real though, does LJG just like live in North Carolina now? Why is he always around, besides, you know, so we don’t forget he’s a character who exists.

For real though, he lives in Virginia and gets more screen time than fucking Fergus and Marsali who live fucking next door.

At least writing this recap is gonnna be quick and easy since they waste so much time re-showing the stupid silent movie footage.

Yes, I know, they’re trying to show Roger’s PTSD. Which involves flashbacks. And gradually turn it to color once he’s like come to terms with what happened and starts to move forward. But the execution is so bad that the whole arc is wasted because it’s just so poorly done.

Oh hey! A Claire and Bree scene! I love those. Except oh wait, it aggressively fails the Bechdel Test.

I JUST WANT THE FUCKING WOMEN ON THIS SHOW TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO THAT’S COMPLETELY FUCKING SEPARATE FROM THE MEN. ARGH.

Jocasta singing at Murtz’s cairn is a reminder that everyone should check out MDK’s music.

And her wearing the necklace Murtz gave her makes the existence of show!Duncan even dumber. Like oh hey, new husband, don’t mind me, just mourning my dead boyfriend and wearing his jewelry. But it’s totally normal since my niece-in-law still wears her abusive ex-husband’s ring.

Sorry, show!Duncan, but a more pointless character was never included. Show!Duncan wins the prize for most BeCaUsE tHe BoOk dumbassery.

Repeatedly showing what’s basically a snuff film is...a choice.

LJG has no sense of personal space when it comes to the Frasers. And it’s fucking creepy.

Oh look, another scene where all Claire gets to do is comfort someone about a man.

*BANGS FIST ON TABLE* GIVE CLAIRE BEAUCHAMP THE STORY LINES SHE DESERVES.

Jemmy aged like 3 years in the 3 month time jump.

Ok, I totally get why Roger hadn’t spoken yet. But once he did, the seal was broken. Not talking after he yelled to stop Jemmy, even a little bit, is just a dick move. Not that he’d be magically better. But he like refuses to even take baby steps.

CAN WE PLEASE GET THROUGH AN EPISODE WITHOUT A MUSICAL INTERLUDE. I FUCKING HATE THE CLEMENTINE SONG.

GRANNIE CLAIRE AND GRANDA JAMIE ARE MY FAVE.

OMFG AN ARROW. THAT CLEARLY MEANS...YOUNG IANNNNN!!!!!

So glad he’s back. So fucking glad. Yes, it means one more character to dilute how much time we can spend with any given person, but it’s a character that I like so hopefully he takes away from some of the time given to ones I don’t like?

Aaand Roger can’t even bring himself to try to talk to the guy who gave himself up in his place. Fuck Roger.

Claire does a better job at first than Jamie at picking up the vibes Young Ian is putting off, but like, for two people who are supposed to be emotionally intelligence, neither of them do a good job at first of really *seeing* Ian.

John Bell is really good in this episode.

Omfg Marsali has tarot cards. She’s like leaning full on into being the white witch’s apprentice and I fucking love her so much.

Also, the Hanged Man card is representative of self-sacrifice and martyrdom rather than like being actually hanged as a punishment. But whatevs.

Ok I think the reason Jenny yelling at Jamie to snap out of it in S3 bugged me where this scene with Bree yelling at Roger doesn’t is because sibling dynamic is completely different than spouses where both of them have gone through something unimaginable.

That he can’t even say anything here. Or give her any kind of sign that he’s still in there is a dick move. He *can* speak. He knows that now. So does everyone else. He’s actively choosing not to. Even to say that he just needs more time to work through his shit. No one’s asking him to be a chatterbox and totally back to normal.

Young Ian just sitting there while everyone else does grace is literally me at every family holiday.

Oh look, a wild Fergus appeared!

Ok, I never got the surveying thing. Wouldn’t the land already be registered? Since they were given the paperwork and shit for it from the governor? I know there was some bit about it in the book about keeping it after the Revolution but like, who the fuck else are they registering it with that would make a difference? The gov’t is still the English gov’t?

“But there are things you keep hidden from others. You and Claire both.” Ok, can he please be talking about time travel? I mean, I know he’s talking about his wife and their miscarriages, but I just want someone else to know about time travel already please and thank you.

HOW THE FUCK IS MARSALI STILL PREGNANT?! SHE’S BEEN PREGNANT FOR LIKE A FUCKTON OF TIME.

Fuck yeah not-Catholic-anymore-Ian. No grace, talking about the creator in a way that isn’t explicitly the christian god. Good job, kid.

My parents called me to say happy easter and I had to be like, uh, you remember that I don’t celebrate that, right?

Happy Zombie!Jeebus Appreciation Day to all the still christian people. And happy chance to have fun with burner zoom accounts named Elijiah to the jewish folks.

Jokes aside, the scene with Young Ian and Marsali was really nice and Marsali remains a fucking saint. It’s nice that Young Ian has someone who like actually gets what it’s like to find a home in a group of strangers.

Oh Claire, think more highly of your assistant. Also, what a clunky fucking way to be like oh hey, one of the emo!bros is gonna try to off themselves.

Ok but with the paper airplane now too, can we please show Young Ian finding out about time travel? Please?

Ok, but Claire automatically jumping to Roger wanting to off himself with her herbs... It’s making me judge both of them a little that neither picked up on just how clearly Young Ian was suffering. Like come the fuck on, y’all. It wasn’t subtle.

Also, can we please have more Adso?

SOMEONE GIVE YOUNG IAN A HUG! NO, NOT YOU, ROGER! SOMEONE GOOD!

Yada yada yes they both have been through something shitty and call me a biased asshole, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything about Roger and I feel all the things about Young Ian.

So Roger won’t talk when his wife begs, but he’ll talk when someone calls him on his bullshit. Cool. Cool cool cool. Nice dude.

NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR THE OLD ROGER, YOU TWATWAFFLE. THEY WERE ASKING FOR *A* ROGER. INSTEAD OF A ZOMBIE.

Again, there’s more to that tarot card than a literal hanged man, but whatever, show.

Oh thank fuck the episode is finally over. Expectations are back down in the gutter for the rest of the season. Please pleasantly surprise me, show, but I will not make the mistake again of thinking you’re actually gonna be consistently good again.

[mistbornthefinal]

Madoka Magica Aniversary Analysis: Part 5

My City Now!

We open at the hospital just before Sayaka made her contract. After confirming that she agrees to his terms Kyubey reached into Sayaka’s chest with his weird ear tentacles and pulls out her soul. The process is clearly painful and his words are not particularly comforting.

“Now... just accept it. This is your destiny.”

Cue connect.

At school Hitomi is telling Madoka and Sayaka that the whole suicide cult incident is being written off as some kind of mass sleepwalking incident. She doesn’t appear to have any recollection of what happened or that Madoka and Sayaka were involved. Hitomi doesn’t seem all that perturbed by what happened.

After school Madoka and Sayaka the newly minted Faustian bargain at the riverbank. Like at the end of last episode Sayaka seems almost relived to have made or choice to become a magical girl. Madoka ask if she is scared. Sayaka says yes but downplays it. 

It’s clear she’s riding high from her success taking down the Witch last episode and saving Madoka and Hitomi, literally patting herself on the back at one point. If she has regrets it’s not making the contract sooner and potentially saving Mami, a regret Madoka clearly shares. Sayaka tell Madoka not to beat herself up about it, it’s only after making the contract she considers it retroactively inevitable. Sayaka has a wish to fight for now, something she feels is worth risking her life, well see how long that confidence lasts.

We cut back to the hospital at sunset. It seems Sayaka’s wish was limited to Kyousuke’s hand thus the hospital is still keeping him for rehabilitation, they also baffled by the whole miraculous recovery. Kyouske apologizes for lashing out at Sayaka earlier so it appears that the boy isn’t completely blind to other peoples emotional landscapes. Sayaka seems like she’d rather brush that episode under the rug rather than let it interfere with the current happy moment.   

Sayaka brings Kyousuke up to the roof in a wheelchair, where Kyousuke’s parents and several doctors and nurses are waiting. His father returns to him the violin that he couldn’t bare to throw away, and Kyouske begins to play silhouetted against the setting sun. In the face of the culmination of her wish Sayaka vows never to regret her decision.

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been!” (She is so doomed now)

It turns out that unfriendly eyes are watching that scene on the rooftop. Sakura Kyouko is scoping out the competition and eating, can’t forget that charming character quirk which in no way indicates repressed trauma. Kyouko seems pretty confidant in her ability to kill Sayaka and asks if Kyubey would object if she did. Kyubey says no but points out there’s another meguca in the city. 

Kyouko asks who it is and what’s her deal, prompting Kyubey to admit he has no clue. Logically Akemi Homura must have made a contract with him but Kyubey admits no memory of actually making one. She’s an irregularity.

That doesn’t seem to dent Kyouko’s confidence. 

Elsewhere Madoka and Homura have sat down at the cafe. Madoka is clearly trying to convince Homura to help Sayaka saying that while the girl is bullheaded she is kind, courageous, and willing to go to any length to help people. Homura fires back that all the qualities that Madoka has listed even the positive ones are fatal for a Puella Magi.

“Excessive kindness leads to weakness. Reckless courage leads to carelessness. There’s no reward for dedication of any kind. You can’t be a magical girl if you don’t understand that. That’s why Tomoe Mami lost her life.” 

Needless to say that’s not the answer Madoka wanted to hear. (Also Homura punctuating that last part by ripping the lid off your coffee was over the line, don’t trigger the cupcake) Madoka outright ask Homura to not to fight and to cooperate with Sayaka, to protect her if she can. Homura says she don’t like to make promises she can’t keep. She tell Madoka to give up on her friend Sayaka has made a mistake that can no more be undone than the dead can be returned to life. 

“Once you become a magical girl there no hope for salvation.”

Madoka asks and Homura confirms that she includes herself in that. Accepting the contract means throwing everything else way in exchange for one hope. (The way Homura talks about the state of a Puella Magi, in terms of sin and salvation I can belive she went to a Catholic school)

Homura leaves with an apology.

At Sayaka’s house the newly minted Puella Magi is trying to psych herself up for the second night on the job. Waiting for her at the entrance to her apartment building is Madoka, she offers to accompany just like old times. Madoka says it’s just for moral support and Sayaka seems to welcome that, but Kyubey points out the real reason over telepathy. If Sayaka gets in too deep Madoka’s contract is always a possibility. 

It’s clear at this point that Madoka wants to become meguca, but is unable to logically justify that decision to herself. Which is why she keeps throwing herself into these situation hoping eventually a situation will come up where she has no choice. Ironically this would mean making a contract in the kind scenario that Mami explicitly didn’t want for her.

The two track a Familiar to narrow alleyway. It turns out crayon themed and Sayaka attempts to give it the unlimited blade works only to be foiled by Kyouko’s spear. 

The Familiar beats a hasty retreat it’s barrier vanishing with it. Kyouko bars Sayaka from pursuing it with her spear. What Sayaka ought to do according to Kyouka is let that Familiar kill a few people and become a Witch, then when she kills it it’ll actually drop loot. It’s the food chain, essentially.

Given what we later learn about Kyouko it’s sort of unclear how much of this she believes verse how much she’s just saying stuff in order to pick a fight. She’s pushes her way into Sayaka’s space (and specifically sections off Madoka from the fight an early indication she’s not as heartless as she presents). She keeps trying to wind Sayaka up dismissing her heroic ideals as a delusion until the other girl actually takes a swing at her. 

Kyouko blocks her strike and as the lock weapons it’s clear she vastly out muscles Sayaka as she is able to push her back with one hand. She finishes the taiyaki she was chowing down on and then seems to end the fight with viciously strike from her extendo-chain spear.

Sayaka isn’t done she stands up again blue magic knitting her wounds back together. This takes Kyouko off guard she expected the blow she struck to keep the other Puella Magi out of action for a while. Kyubey explains that a girls magic is tied to their wish, Sayaka wished to heal someone and as a result her magic is particularly adept at healing. 

The Sayaka is adamant that she is unwill to lose not against Kyouko the sort of person she considers responsable for Mami’s death. This seems to touch a nerve Kyouko goes on the attack again but this time Sayaka gives a much better account of herself. Neither is willing to back down their blood is up and it’s clear that if this allowed to continue someone is going to end up dead (or worse). Madoka pleads for Kyubey to intervene but bunnycat claims it’s out of his hands. If Madoka want this to stop though... there is a way.

Kyouko moves in for the kill and Madoka seems on the verge of contracting. Again though that won’t be necessary. Homura reveals herself and moves Sayaka out of the path of Kyouko’s spear.

And that cliffhanger is where EP 5 leaves us. (cue Magia) This is Kyouko’s big debut and as much as she’s usually presented as Sayaka’s foil it’s hard on this viewing not to see her as a foil to Mami as well. The big conflict in EP 4 was essentially who is going to replace the fallen Puella Magi and while the framing of that episode imply Sayaka in this one Kyouko makes the case for herself. She does refer to herself a senpai, though she seems like the delinquent type of senpai who’s lessons you probably shouldn’t listen to here.

This is also an episode where we get a much clearer look at how Homura sees things. She presents another philosophy about what it means to be a magical girl for Madoka to consider alongside Mami’s ideals which Sayaka claims loyalty to as well as Kyouko’s brutal pragmatism. 

[nikibogwater]

Niki Blethers About The Mandalorian (S2: ep 3)

Spoilers under the cut! 

I’m a day late because I kind of needed a little extra time to process how I felt about this episode. Even now, I’m still not sure where I sit on it.

WHOLESOME FROG FAMILY IS WHOLESOME. Frog Mom was MVP of ep 2, and she deserves this happy ending. Also who’d have thought that watching two frogs cuddling and loving on each other would be SO STINKING ADORABLE?! Frog Parents are my new OTP. 

Other people have already pointed out that Mando was watching the family reunion very intently and that he was almost definitely thinking about Omera--and yes, that was my EXACT thought upon watching the scene (actually true story--last week, I briefly considered writing a fic where Mando watches Frog Mom reuniting with her husband and he thinks about Omera, but I didn’t really want to write something that canon might contradict less than a week later).

Mando kind of awkwardly patting Frog Mom on the shoulder and saying “Thank you” all genuine and soft-like??? WHOEVER RAISED THIS MAN GETS TEN OUT OF FIVE GOLD STARS FOR TEACHING HIM SUCH MANNERS.

“Don’t play with your food.” *wheeze!* What a Mando thing to say. 🤣

I don’t know if it’s just me, but Din looked VERY uncomfortable on that boat. Just the way he was standing, with one hand on his blaster, made it look like he was already nervous long before those kriffing stinkwads tried to feed him to the mamacore. 

Also I love how Din is so very obviously the Baby’s dad at this point that literally EVERYONE can tell just by watching him for 3 seconds. Those squidy jerks took one look at him and were like “Oh yeah, we don’t even have to push him in ourselves. Just chuck the kid, this self-sacrificing dumbass is so pumped full of familial love that he’ll jump right in on his own.”

Also SWEET MOTHER OF MARMELADE, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO STRESSED OUT IN MY LIFE. NOOOOOO THE BABY! NOOOOOO DON’T CLOSE THE GRATE! OH MY GOSH NOOOOOOOO!

...Oh. Bo Katan’s actually alive. I uh...I didn’t see that coming. I seriously thought she was going to be shown in a flashback, being killed by Moff Gideon when he claims the Darksaber. ...I’m not sure how I feel about this.

So the fandom’s been kind of heated up over the “Traditionalist vs. Liberal Ways of Mandalore.” (idk how else to phrase it lol)  It seems like everybody wants to determine which side is “correct?” Some people are hoping this means Din will start to question everything he believes, maybe find out that he’s been indoctrinated by a cult since childhood. Others are pointing to Bo Katan’s past as the leader of Death Watch and saying SHE’s the extremist. But honestly, I didn’t see either side as being extremist or overtly cult-y (individuals, yes, but not the core belief systems). I don’t mean to get super real on the main or anything, but the tension between Din and Bo Katan over their religious beliefs felt a lot like the tension you sometimes see between certain groups of Catholics and Protestants (based on my own experience, anyways). And like...it makes no sense to me at all. You guys believe the same basic things, you just have differing traditions. Neither side is particularly extremist or cult-y (in and of itself, anyways. You definitely get some extremist, cult-y groups of people in both camps), they’re just different practices of the same basic tenants. Obviously you can have your own personal stance on which side is more “correct,” but I really don’t vibe with turning that into aggression against the other. So yeah, while that kind of religious tension is stupid and pointless to me in real life, I understood why it was there between Din and Bo Katan, and it definitely felt in-character for both of them. But I don’t think either of them is really a “villain” in this sense. They’re just different.

That being said, Bo Katan was being an absolute b**** and I hated her in this episode. 

“This is the way.” B**** YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME! I’MA SLAP YOU! IN THIS HOUSE, WE RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S RELIGIONS, YOU FILTHY LITTLE--

I’m glad that, while the show is clearly trying to weave in a larger-scale story, Din’s quest--and the central narrative of the series as a whole--remains with the Child. I hope they can keep it that way. I love seeing Din put his personal responsibility as a guardian over the “greater good,” as it were. He has no reason to care about retaking Mandalore or re-shaping the galactic political landscape--he just wants to take care of his son and find him a good home. And honestly, that is so much more engaging to me than the bigger narratives Star Wars often goes for.

Mandadlorian is at the top of his game again. Not only does he find the Child a good babysitter, he tells the Green Bean to “be respectful and mind {his} manners.” Fudge, I just love me one Tin Can Space Dad so much. 🥰

So I guess the Empire isn’t quite as fractured and splintered as I thought. They’re still running regular shipments of weapons in the Outer Rim and recruiting soldiers. The first season made it sound like there were just a bunch of individual remnant cells, but apparently it’s a lot bigger and more organized than that.

Kill switch molars? What...How do those even WORK?????

I...guess I liked this episode okay? It felt like I was absolutely enthralled by about half of it, but then just kind of tapped out for the other half. I still don’t know how I feel about Bo Katan being a key player in the series. I was kind of hoping that they would keep The Mandalorian mostly separate from the rest of the connected universe, but I guess that was too much to ask from a SW property. But hey, it was cool to see Katee Sackhoff reprise her role in a live-action setting. I’m not giving this one an out-of-ten rating because I honestly can’t nail down how much I liked it, but I do know that all the character interactions were good and there was decent emotional grounding, so it’s still more enjoyable for me than S2: ep1. 

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 2x04-- Day 429 (1)

If TGF can do two episodes in one, I can do two recaps for one episode. This recap covers Liz’s part of the ep.

The episode begins on a promising note, informing the audience that there will be two chapters: Liz’s Case and Lucca’s Case. One second in, and it’s already apparent that this episode will be (a) innovative and (b) focused on Liz and Lucca.

I have a feeling I’ve heard the Kings talk before (like, season 5/season 6) about wanting to do an episode like this. Does anyone else recall this? At any rate, I’m glad the writers have TGF to experiment a little more with structure. And I think this particular structure works better on Fight (an ensemble show) than it would have on Wife (a show with one lead).

After we’re informed we’re going to be watching “Liz’s Case” first, we see a sheet of paper with ABC written on it. Jay is running active shooter training with some of the members of the firm, including all of the name partners, Lucca, and Maia (who doesn’t get a seat at the table). This is both timely and a good way of furthering the KILL ALL LAWYERS fears without hitting you over the head with it. (This episode, in general, is light on the KILL ALL LAWYERS stuff, as well as on Trump commentary. There’s just enough to remind the viewer that it’s still weighing on everyone, especially Diane.) A delivery man barges in, making a loud noise and spooking everyone. Yep: they’re definitely still on edge. (A little goes a long way: these are the kind of details I love.)

Also, I appreciate that Jay is running the training. Last week I was impressed/surprised he knew how to deal with the ricin scare, and now I’m assuming that office safety is part of his job (or something he’s volunteer to help with).

Marissa walks in and whispers something to Lucca; we don’t hear what it is.

Someone asks a question over the phone. It’s Liz, but it’s impossible to tell since the connection is terrible. This is relatable. I don’t even want to know how much time I’ve lost at work waiting for clients to figure out how to improve their phone connections.

Liz’s connection is terrible because she’s in the car. And why is she in the car? Because she’s taking her son (!!!) to a doctor’s appointment. I’m so glad the writers didn’t forget about Liz’s son. There aren’t enough parents in The Good Verse.

Liz drops her son off at school, where she learns that his favorite teacher has been fired. They let him go in the middle of the year? Sorry. Not the point.

Liz jumps into action as she heads into work, getting on the phone with the principal and explaining that this teacher was one of the few who was able to get through to her son. Liz walks past Lucca and we see a brief snippet of what’s going on with Lucca before going back to Liz. (Can’t remember if it was at this point or slightly later I realized we were going to get info on what was happening with Lucca, but whenever I had that realization I had to pause the TV because I was so excited about the idea. One could say I liked this episode.)

Liz points out to the (white) principal that the fired teacher was one of few people of color at the school. “Our push for diversity is renowned,” responds the principal. Hm.

Speaking of diversity, before I forget to mention it, after last week I was worried about TGF centering itself on its white leads and becoming too enamored with Marissa. This episode focuses on Liz and Lucca, and while this focus is a little overdue, it does make me hopeful that TGF understands that its black characters are also leads, and that an episode can focus on two black women. That’s especially important for the show to do after it pretty much traded Barbara for Liz.

(I’m still so conflicted on the lack of Barbara. On the one hand, the writers seem to have a great grasp on Liz and they did not understand how to write Barbara at all. But I don’t like calling it a good move to get rid of Barbara, because if they’d just written her character well and given her consistent development, if her fourth episode also showed her POV (ok, fine, her fourth episode was actually the most Barbara-centric one but it wasn’t like this) and expanded what we knew about her life, then maybe I wouldn’t be writing something right now about how the writers had to write her out. I’m a broken record about this, I know, but it doesn’t seem fair to praise the writing for Liz when I know the only reason we have Liz is because the writers failed Barbara/Erica.)

“Yes, I’ve heard about your push quite a bit at the school assemblies,” Liz tells the principal (like she already thought the school wasn’t doing enough…). She also says she thinks they’ll be in touch, since at this point she knows she’s going to try to help the teacher keep his job.

Lucca asks Jay to help her with something; he agrees. As she walks off, Liz approaches him. Now that Jay’s helping Lucca, he doesn’t have time to help Liz, so Marissa jumps in. Liz is reluctant but she goes along with it.

In an informal meeting of the name partners in Diane’s office, Adrian explains that they’ve had lots of cancellations for their party. “The lawyer killings. Our chemical scare,” Diane understands. (Um, why would these people have RSVP’d yes in the first place? The party wasn’t thought up before the chemical scare. It’s what Adrian talks to Diane about at the end of Day 422.)

“I say ‘fuck it,’” Diane responds. “You’ve been saying that a lot lately,” Liz comments. Indeed she has. “Making up for lost time,” Diane winks at the camera. She doesn’t, but, like, come on. This line is extremely meta.

Diane then swivels in her chair and stares Liz down. It’s kind of comical-- not because it’s silly, but because Diane really doesn’t give a fuck and she doesn’t care who knows it.

Adrian picks up on the tension and asks Diane what’s going on after Liz exits. Diane laughs and answers a call on her laptop instead of responding.

It’s Kurt! He’s away on a trial somewhere, sitting in a hotel room. To be completely honest with you, I didn’t remember where Diane and Kurt’s relationship stood. I assumed from the fact that Diane was alone and microdosing they were separated. I also believed this was a pretty safe guess based on the seven years of Alicia/Peter relationship limbo we had to endure in TGW. These writers have never met a separation they didn’t want to prolong until the absolute last minute possible.

And indeed, even though Diane and Kurt were on good terms in 1x10, they’re still “giving it time.” Then the connection breaks up (‘cause miscommunication and technology being unreliable are THEMES this week) and Kurt thinks Diane said the separation is over. Diane closes the laptop instead of attempting to call back. I dunno, I feel like if I was in the middle of a convo like that I’d call back on a cell phone, send a text, something…?

Now the teacher is in Liz’s office and she’s offering to represent him in arbitration. “You are the only teacher to break through Malcolm’s shell,” she explains. She continues by saying that she’s always advised to put him in private school, “but if everybody abandons the public school system, it’ll implode.” Yes, thank you, Liz! (Also, I see why you didn’t get along with Alicia. I’m sure Alicia would also say she supports public schools but, um, she wouldn’t send her own children there unless she absolutely had to. And Liz would find that hypocritical.) 

Liz then calls in Maia. That’s right. Maia is working! THANK GOODNESS. Maia has almost nothing to do this ep, and the little that she has to do is work. Yay!!!

Malcolm’s public school is a charter school, which is… not exactly what springs to mind when I think of “believing in the public school system.” I was a bit surprised the writers didn’t delve into this, especially since other than a few mentions about the threat of unionization, it doesn’t really matter that it’s a charter. And charter schools are their own can of worms.

Elsbeth barges in (HELLO!!!) and only Maia recognizes her. She’s in the wrong place-- she’s looking for Lucca-- so she compliments Liz’s jacket and leaves.

Marissa goes to the school and pretends to be the mother of a second grader. She rambles a bit too much about her TOTALLY REAL husband, but it works. Marissa makes a vaguely racist comment to try to get a teacher to make an explicitly racist comment. She doesn’t get that, but she does get an explanation for why Mr. Coulson (Malcolm’s fave teacher) was let go: he’s gay.

Arbitration begins, and Nancy Crozier is representing the school. Seems she’s on the PTA. So… she has a kid?! I guess that doesn’t surprise me, but now I’m curious about the personal lives of all the recurring characters.

When it comes out that the principal had fired a teacher from her previous school (a Catholic school) because he was gay, we immediately get a reaction shot where Maia’s visible. It’s not Sad Puppy Owen from 4x09, but it’s just a little thing that clues us in to how Maia’s feeling.

The school used an algorithm to decide which teachers to fire so there would be no bias. Maia jumps in with the counterargument before I can scream it at my screen: “All algorithms are pointless unless they are based on good data.” Absolutely. An algorithm is not inherently objective.

I know I am now nitpicking stock footage (would you expect anything else from me?) but in this stock footage of Chicago it is Christmastime (see the red and green lights on the buildings) but in the show it is March.

Also, not at all the point, but one of the buildings in the stock footage now has a huge TRUMP sign on it so I am going to headcanon that Diane (and the others) have to walk past it every day, multiple times, ‘cause I think that’s fitting.

Now we’re at the poorly-attended RBL office party. There’s a lot of champagne and very few people. There are 18 non-RBL people there; Colin Morello makes 19.  

I still don’t get why Colin has to be a series regular, but I do like that the writers are making full use of the fact that he and Liz used to be coworkers. They chat about work for a few seconds until Colin sees Lucca through the glass walls (so! helpful!) with a man. He instantly gets jealous.

Guests 20 and 21 arrive. They’re the algorithm boys from last season. One of them hates a lot of things, including swearing. And, apparently, elevators. What he does like, though, is Marissa. Adrian refers to Marissa by name and as an investigator, which I’m sure would make Marissa happy if she knew about the interaction.

Diane and Liz chat at the bar. Liz asks for advice on dealing with Nancy Crozier, but Diane sees right through it: “This is a thing you do, isn’t it? You ask for advice in order to ingratiate yourself.” Probably true.

“You know, your ‘fuck it’ mode is starting to feel more like ‘fuck you’ mode,” Liz responds. What powers of observation you have, Liz! It’s almost like Diane walked into your office last week, said “fuck you” and left! Oh, wait…

(Also, Liz is wrong. It was Liz’s response to Diane’s ‘fuck it’ mode that made Diane angry enough to say ‘fuck you.” What’s Liz’s endgame?)

“Just appreciating your style,” Diane responds. “I’m just doing my job,” Liz says. Uh-huh. It’s her job to drink with Diane, pretend to ask for advice (ooh, it is a pattern), and then report back to Adrian? “And using what I confide in you to undercut me?” Diane counters. Liz sighs. “Look, I thought Adrian already knew you were thinking of leaving. That’s all,” she explains. Um. Does that track? I thought Liz approached Adrian about bringing on a new partner and told him about Diane, but she could be telling the truth. I am going through Day 415 to see exactly what Liz said, and omg, now I have to watch the Rindell nonsense again and it’s just highlighting how great Day 429 is. The All Access player really needs a 10 second skip feature.

Ok, Liz DOES tell Adrian “She never said anything to you?” so it’s possible that she was trying to be proactive about a situation, not trying to undercut Diane. The whole thing where she suggested Diane take time off and then told Adrian that Diane requested that time… not sure how to spin that one. But best case scenario here is that Liz is just blunt and didn’t mean anything against Diane. A girl can dream, right?

Diane says “it’s more fun to go at each other” in response to Liz, and nope, NOPE. 100% disagree. It is far more fun to watch them be friends. This plot is not fun and I spend every second it’s on screen trying to figure out a way to interpret seemingly malicious actions as benevolent. So… yeah. Sorry, Diane. It’s more fun for you to be friends. And you seem like you could use a friend right now. (Did Diane lose all her friends?)

Diane does offer Liz advice on dealing with Nancy: “She plays at being the nice girl while being tough. She’s good. But her rhythm is thrown off by objections.” The first part, definitely (I’m shocked that still works for her). The second part, is that a thing we’ve seen before?

Elsbeth arrives at the party and Diane’s excited to see her. Who wouldn’t be excited to see Elsbeth? Elsbeth is the best.

Elsbeth doesn’t seem to understand why the offices don’t have furniture (answer: they do; it’s been put in storage for the party). But she doesn’t spend too long wondering, because Diane asks her to sit down and compliments her dress. That’s right: Diane compliments Elsbeth’s wardrobe.

“Ooh! What do you think they’re talking about?” Elsbeth remarks when she sees Lucca spit out her drink. And then things get meta.

“It’s weird,” Elsbeth says. “We’re just the background characters to their story.”

“And they’re just the background characters to our story,” Diane points out.

“And we’re all just background characters to his story,” Elsbeth says, speaking of the bartender. “He could be the hero, and we could be the villains of the story.”

“Or we’re the heroes, and he’s the villain,” Diane spins. “That’s what keeps us humble. Not knowing,” Elsbeth says. “Or paranoid,” Diane counters.

I love this exchange. Is it incredibly on the nose? Is it an all caps Thesis Statement for the episode? Is it one of the least subtle things I’ve ever seen? Is it as obvious about the point it’s making as I am being right now, saying the same thing four times? Hell yes, it is. Is it still great? Yep.

The show is poking fun at itself, Elsbeth is exactly the kind of character that would start talking like this, and I totally believe that Diane would be game for this kind of conversation given her state of mind. It fits to have Diane thinking about these things-- even if only while making small talk with Elsbeth-- when she’s already questioning so much.

(I also like how every time Elsbeth suggests something that would have negative implications for Diane’s view of herself-- that she’s a background character, that she’s a villain-- Diane recenters the narrative. I am not sure that Diane’s doing it on purpose, but, uh, she is used to seeing herself as the hero.) (I don’t mean that as a negative thing! Just an observation!)

Diane turns the conversation even darker, because Elsbeth is a surprisingly good confidant: “You know, last week, I was walking down the street, and there was this homeless man digging for bottles in the trash and yelling at the top of his voice about the president and the country and how we’re all going insane. And I realized: that’s what my inner monologue sounds like. And that when I decided. I’ve got to change.” “To what?” “To someone who’s not going crazy.”

Well. There’s a lot going on there. As seems to be the theme for Diane this season, she’s feeling what everyone else is, but taking it one step farther.

Elsbeth doesn’t know how to react, so she compliments Diane. Then she compliments Diane’s necklace, and Diane gives it to her, along with her belt.. I… don’t know that I like this. It’s cute, but it seems so off-kilter it also worries me.

“I never thought you liked me, Diane,” Elsbeth says. “Hey, you know what? That’s my fault,” Diane admits. That’s sweet!

I don’t know what to make of this scene as a whole. Part of me thinks it’s a nice little Diane/Elsbeth moment where Diane’s No Fucks Given policy allows her to connect with a peer. A bigger part is worried that this scene might look like a warning sign (for what, I don’t know) once we get a little farther into the season.

I don’t get why this Colin/Lucca scene is here, in Liz’s story, right after a scene Liz also isn’t in. I understand that we have to see it before we know what’s going on for the story to work, but something (in editing, writing, or directing) could’ve been done here so this didn’t stand out. Also, Lucca invited Colin to the party, knowing she was pregnant and he was the father, but she has no plans of telling him he’s the father? Alrighty then.

And now for a third Liz-free scene in Liz’s section of the show (this one is, at least, related to her case). Marissa and Maia head down to the 22nd, where everyone’s talking and dancing and there’s music blasting. It is a much more exciting scene than the 23rd. But Marissa and Maia don’t join the party: instead, they discuss algorithms.

Nancy, who has now practiced law in Chicago for 8 full years, literally says “I’m just a small-town girl from Michigan.” I’m going to take that as a shout-out to the fans.

Liz’s son is throwing a ball against the wall, repeatedly, and driving Lucca crazy. She tells him it’s annoying. And because Lucca as a Parent is a THEME, we get to see Lucca interacting with a child (and, of course, Lucca’s reactions to her interactions with a child).

“And would you consider state-mandated testing to be a subjective data point?” the mediator asks. I don’t know if I would call it subjective but I would call it a terrible metric! (But I’m ahead of the episode. The minute I heard state-mandated testing I was ready to rant about testing practices and the costs of teaching to a test. I’m a little shocked that Liz didn’t go there immediately.)

Lucca dared Malcolm to make something out of paperclips, and now he’s totally caught up in crafting a paperclip zombie. Awww. My favorite detail about this scene is that Liz picks up a paperclip to help her son with his project, even as she’s still thinking about her case.

Liz realizes something: Malcolm’s score on the state-mandated test went down when he had a better teacher. He got a 92 last year, and a 73 this year. I assume those are percentages, not percentiles? I don’t recall much about these exams, but aren’t these sorts of things usually scored by percentile and not accuracy? Oh, my God, why do I care?

Tbh, this is just making me really grateful for my own education. I didn’t get a single letter grade or percentage based grade until I was 10 or 11 (maybe on a math test before that?), and grades didn’t “count” until 6th grade. We also weren’t ever assigned homework until 3rd grade. I have some complaints about my (private) elementary school, but I think that system worked well. We could learn without the fear of failing an exam. And while I’m sure I would’ve done just fine if I’d had grades when I was a kid (I love structure and I always have), I bet it really helped the kids who don’t test well.

What I’m saying is, and I’m probably preaching to the choir, teaching to a test, particularly a state-mandated standardized test that will determine staffing and funding, is a terrible idea. It doesn’t help the kids learn, it requires teachers to spend time on lessons that may not be as beneficial to their students in the long-run as something that builds critical thinking skills, and it encourages teachers to lie and cheat to keep their jobs.

Liz, Marissa, and Maia get to work going through the exams from the last few years. Maia spots the eraser marks. Of course there are eraser marks.

I wonder how many of the characters on this show (and on TGW) went to public school. My guess is that the list is pretty short.

The cheating teacher denies that she cheated. She claims the students just realized their mistake at the last minute. All of them. Repeatedly. It’s ridiculous, and Maia’s pretty persuasive. (Yay, Maia!) They still need to find proof, but it’s obvious they’re on the right track.

Kurt is in Diane’s office with some roses. Marissa texts Diane “Where r u? Kurt’s here!!” AGAIN WITH THE “WHERE R U”! Marissa would not write like that on an iPhone!!

Marissa asks Kurt, the ballistics expert, if he knows any eraser forensic experts. Not a dumb question, because such people exist! Even if Liz/Maia/Marissa end up with the wrong expert witness initially (they grab Lucca’s witness instead), eraser forensic experts exist!  

I don’t understand Maia’s wardrobe. I cannot find the words to describe her style.

When it becomes clear beyond a doubt that the tests were tampered with, all Nancy wants to know is if she can see her daughter’s test.

Liz tells Mr. Coulson the good news, but… it’s too late. He’s accepted a position at a private school that will pay more. “I still believe in public schools,” he says as he leaves. Ah, a TGW (TGF) victory.

As Liz contemplates her next move, she sees Malcolm and Lucca sharing a sweet moment. Aww.

[weneverlearn]

R.I.P. Grant Hart

When some kind of celebrity death occurs -- and that “celebrity” can be Prince or Paul Hamann -- there’s often a genuinely heartfelt and/or morbid need to reach out and tell someone. Add the internet into that instinct, and this human action takes on more strange, conflicted, even narcissistic layers.

I woke up yesterday to a text about Grant Hart having passed away. I told myself my girlfriend was awake, and gently tapped her on the shoulder to tell her. She has been working a lot lately, and it was probably best to let her sleep and talk about this later. Telling her, telling anyone wasn’t going to bring Grant Hart back. Basically I just confused her, though she sweetly said “Sorry,” and went back to sleep, somehow.

The emotions were flooding through me, and it was one of numerous deaths that have occurred in my sphere of late, so the usual sinking heart feeling sunk as low as it’s been in awhile (and that’s saying something in this Trump era). One song popped in my head, “Think It Over Now,” from Hart’s excellent 1999 solo album, Good News for Modern Man. In a sea of great Grant Hart songs, it’s Ronettes-meets-rainstorm ramble makes it one of my favorites of his, and it’s positive message helped instantly assuage some sadness. I posted it on Facebook for whatever fucking reason, and went to work, unable to think about much else the rest of the day, into today, and I don’t know, maybe from now on.

It feels awkward to make a celebrity death personal with some tossed-out Facebook post. But I am at that point now in my life where the passing of such monumental artistic figures starts to occur closer to you, more frequently, and it’s inevitable that it spurs you to seek comfort from just telling others why this death is monumental. I mean, in my early 20s, if I had heard the bassist in the Johnny Burnette Trio died, oh, that’s sad. But had that bassist been close to my age, had I seen that bassist play live, got to hang out with him a bit, cranked his records through headphones throughout my teens, well...

It was early summer, 1985, I was 17, about butt-deep into a growing pile of records, increasingly punk records, and my au currant desire was to “get into hardcore.” I mean it was all over college radio, Cleveland had a decent scene of it (although in that odd Ohio-y, weather-beaten way), and I just thought, well, that’s what a guy like me should be doing right now. So I went to my local rack jobber and asked him for a great new hardcore album, and he hands me New Day Rising.

I took it home and played it, but I was a bit nonplussed. This wasn’t the bald-head dude screaming in a circle pit shit I thought I was searching for. It was loud and fast for sure, but not the polka-beat, the government and your parents suck spiel. Instead, as I noticed while I self-surprisingly kept playing the record over and over for the next week, was an instantly recognizable melancholy, damp atmosphere, and intense energy I’d already loved from midwest acts. Husker Du just felt like me and lots of strangers I was starting to get to know at Cleveland punk shows -- already a bit beaten by long winters, mall jobs, and terrible sports teams we didn’t care about, but you live in Cleveland, so you’re going to hear about the fucking Browns whether you like it or not. My image was the three Huskers sitting in their dank basement, from about the first week of October until the first week of March, with a space heater sparking in the corner, complaining about fucking jocks, drinking the cheapest local beer, excited only about the tunes they were coming up with, grasping for hopes maybe winter will end early this year (the last week of February), but knowing for sure it’s just gonna come around again anyway, so whatever, let’s go through that new one again.

I already knew enough about the California-based SST Records to know a shlubby band from Minneapolis with cutoff shorts and an almost sobbing seriousness to their loud fast rules, featuring lyrics about folklore and summer ending, was not that label’s raison d’etre. No doubt most of their bands had shitty lives, crappy parents, drug problems, and whatever. But to me, nothing I’d heard on that label (save some Black Flag), had this depth of pathos and seething spirit. I mean come on, it’s California. You don’t spend your teens hanging out on beaches and seeing pretty girls all the time all year and think, “Damn, remember those good times we had? Fuck! Where’s my copy of Being and Nothingness?!” (Well, maybe the Minutemen did.)

Indeed, from what I understood through the grape, er, hops-vine of the time, many diehard SST fans didn’t dig Husker Du. (Someone did, because I think Husker Du was the best selling act on SST, but you record scholars can correct me on that.) To me they were a sudden, jarring connection between the jangle of ‘60s folk and garage rock -- meaning they were contemporaries more with R.E.M. than Saccharine Trust or what have you -- and a huge leap into some fuzzed-out new world of extreme emotional and sonic confessional. Even moreso than the, truth be told, kind of cute Replacements, Husker Du were the gnarled heart pumping to where punk could grasp towards, to survive not just the winters but encroaching adulthood abyss. Even their name, from an old board game (fun!) that translated to “Do You Remember?” (sad), was reflective. They were 20-year olds and already nostalgic, wistful. But their own apocalyptic Reagan-era shakes were vibrating them out of that basement. They toured like fucking crazy, rust belt work ethic and all; and with hooks that finally put a relevant nail in skinny tie power pop’s coffin.    

New Day Rising has mostly remained my favorite Husker Du album since, the opening title tune being my favorite opener on any album (save maybe “I’m Stranded” by the Saints). But their whole catalog is worth churning through. And it wasn’t just Grant Hart’s massively manic drum pounds that hit you hard, but his and Bob Mould’s strained, splitting-at-the-edges voices. Like their Minneapolis contemporaries (Replacements, Soul Asylum, Magnolias), they sounded like they were incredibly pissed off and ready to fight, to the point of tears. Not to belabor the midwest/California dichotomy, but the Offspring never struck me as tearful guys.

Of course soon enough I gathered, via unexplainable gut impressions and gossipy fanzine articles, that there were gay men in Husker Du. And there’s no doubt that the usual animosity towards jocks for this punk band left larger scars.

The scar I personally got from their records was a band. When I first met New Bomb Turks’s guitarist Jim Weber at our college dorm, one of the earliest conversations centered on how Jim couldn’t get to the Warehouse tour stop in Cleveland, and hence never got to see Husker Du. I’d seen them twice, regaled Jim with some details, and made tapes of the Husker Du albums he didn’t have. You can ask him, but I think Bob Mould was his biggest early guitar inspiration. And further discussions involved the gender identity of the band, though being early-20s guys in the late ‘80s, we probably didn’t talk about “gender identity” as much as how/when we were called the ol’ “f”word in high school, and how the Huskers must have dealt with tons of awful shit from the more unseemly sides of the hardcore scene. 

Husker Du was a favorite band, but also our introduction to really thinking about these issues that were still pretty swept under the turkey at the family Thanksgiving meal back then. We were both raised Catholic, so...

So, Grant Hart. After the Warehouse show at the Phantasy Theater in Cleveland in summer 1987 (they would break up soon after the end of that tour), I made my way to the adjacent upstairs bar, whose backroom was being used as a backstage. I saw Grant and said, “Great show!” He looked at me a little cockeyed, then turned around, asking, “Does anyone have any heroin around here?” So, that was that.

I loved his 2541 EP from 1988, the first post-Husker Du release. By then I was best friends with the first friend to ever come out to me; and that happening right around the release of that EP, well, one should always appreciate life’s teachable serendipity.

Then, the first time I ever went to New York City and first time I went to CBGB in 1989 with said out pal, the first band I saw there was Hart’s Nova Mob. (Well, technically Run Westy Run opened up.) They were pretty good, and I was glad to see Hart still going at it, but it seemed soon enough that he wasn’t. Didn’t hear much except sporadic solo stuff after Nova Mob split up, and given the usual rumors, figured he was done. But then my band was pretty busy those years, and I was soaking up tons of new bands, so who knows.

Then, in mid-summer 1999, I get a request from an editor at the Cleveland Free Times to write a preview for Grant Hart’s solo show in Cleveland, and found out he’d be playing Columbus a couple days before. So we hooked up a meeting, which is a whole other story for another post, or if I had the power, a movie. It was a strange couple of days, involving breaking into the trunk of the early ‘80s Cadillac he was touring in (”Got it from Rent-a-Wreck, seriously”), the club, Bernie’s, not paying him what they promised, Hart rightly taking a monitor as payment (probably not worth the $250 he was guaranteed), and me getting a call from him at 3 a.m. asking to be a character witness in court on Monday. Nice dinner with him in there too.

After relative (college) radio silence for a few years, I didn’t know what to expect of the show, and without going into details, let’s just say this seemed like a “rent tour.” Hart was fairly disheveled, but super nice. He’d recently become close with Patti Smith, and I guess she told him her parents last names were Grant and Hart, and that once she heard of him, she took that as a sign from the stars to work with him. Anyway, standing in Berne’s with like 10 other people watching him, I was utterly floored once again. His voice was just teeming with the weight of all those slushy winters. I just kept thinking, this is unbelievable how intense he is, and how good these songs are, and how no one even in my circle of music heps even knew this show was happening, in the middle of summer no less, when campus is pretty dead anyway. Unfortunately, a horrible flu had also floored me, a 102 temperature, and I could only stay about four songs of his set before heading home to sweat in bed. “Ah, I’ll see him again.” That was the last time I saw him play.

R.I.P. Grant Hart.