#i was v scared for college bc i have had. such awful luck w finding ppl who want to do things w me
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genuinely so emo abt the fact that i have friends who want to do stuff w me now omg
#i was v scared for college bc i have had. such awful luck w finding ppl who want to do things w me#the closest friendship ive ever had was online lol and even that ended w me being ignored and pushed away so its a v foreign experience for#other ppl to v openly. enjoy my company and continously invite me to things just bc they want me to be there#like ik a good part of that is everyone trying to not be lonely as shit these first couple weeks but all of the friends im referring to#were part of a summer program where they got to show up like 6 weeks early and so they already have friends and ppl to hang out w#so its still rly cool that i showed up made friends w like 2 of them and now 3 weeks later im having to actively plan time to do hw and#watch my shows and stuff bc im being invited to eat and walk around and watch movies and do things all the time#shit is surreal !! im so grateful esp when my suggestions for things to do are well recieved like today alone i invited some of them#to go to the barnes and noble opening in a town near us next month + to a open house at our states observatory. and other ppl were actually#excited to learn abt those. its insane im so used to being ignored and treated like the things i care abt dont matter i love life rn omg#ppl are so cool and interesting sometimes i still feel like i am the most boring person in the room bc i never had the time money location#or motivation to explore a ton of my interests but when i tell ppl abt that feeling theyre like bitch me too !!! lets go snowboard and hike#and have observing nights and paint and dress up for halloween together and its makes me so happy. that is all#actually one more thing i was initially thinking abt dressing up as asa csm (which is. already an improvement from younger me feeling so#isolated she avoided dressing up for halloween for a decade bc she never felt close enough to go w anyone) BUT NOW im a part of a 2 month#old plan for like a dozen ppl to dress up as monster high girls AND im gonna be draculaura. literally such a slay i cant#🌸.txt
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