#i was struggling with fanily issues and the pressure i was under was swallowing me whole and making me feel guilt on such a huge scale

[threeofeight]

OK so like, first of hello, terribly sorry for not being super active these days. Sylvaina is still an obsession, star trek is A+, anxious ace from outer space.

Secondly, so I had an update start of the year where I mentioned 2020 was horrendous for me. Emotionally, physically and then covid lockdowns on top.

Today I got my certificate for counselling in the mail today.

I, after all the ups and downs, managed to pull it around and even get myself a distinction.

It's only a foundation degree but even still, it makes me the first person in our family to ever graduate university and at the good old age of 33.

I had to drop out uni the first time back when I was 20 due to really really bad mental health. Then the sexual assault happened in my mid 20s.

It took almost a decade to get to the point mentally to even begin to think about school again and I signed up for a entry level 2 course. I enjoyed it so much I continued it on to level 3 and then took the plunge to go to level 4 and 5 at uni right after.

It's a difficult course, it bring up a lot of self reflection and not all of it is good. It's also quite emotionally exhausting at times.

2020 hit and I had issues with the family and a breakup at the start of the year at the same time on top of placements and essays and I honestly was struggling to cope with all the stress and emotions. I even contemplated dropping out of university for a moment as I broke down in class in tears when talking to my teacher asking to postpone placements as I wasn't in a ace to be able to counsel others right now.

Covid ended up hitting a month later and I couldn't do any hours whatsoever so kind of a silver lining to the lockdown, it did mean time to sort myself out.

Thankfully, I was talked out leaving as I was so close and my teacher gave me so many extensions for my mental health through the lockdown months.

And I did it. Managed to scrounge together some essays and work to get a distinction.

I dont think I can accurately describe how much this means to me. I had always held a sort of feeling of disappointment that I had "messed" up my uni potential when I was 20 (yes, that's incorrect but I have anxiety. My thoughts are barely correct at any given moment when referring to myself lbh).

So here I am. 33 years old. Back at university a decade later after first dropping out for mental health, a year after I thought I'd have to drop out *again* for mental health reasons, with a certificate proving I have graduated and with a distinction.

I still super struggle with it at times, probably always will. But I got through it and I'm genuinely proud of myself, super emotional and overwhelmed about it.

Pssst @redlance @racethewind10 @themysteryvanishing @scrollstrash @asteriski I DID IT!