#i was starting to get hyperfixated on dolls/figures at the end of last year and then i rediscovered my rym profile

[dogaquarium]

https://rateyourmusic.com/~dogpawz

Please follow me on RYM I need more RYM mutuals pleaseeee🙏🙏🙏🙏 log music with meeeeee

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Aside from Sonic, Pokemon, DT17, and Darkwing Duck, what other kinds of media have you hyperfixated on? Are characters like Quackerjack and Mephiles usually the ones to draw you in and be your faves?

Would you believe that one of my absolute favorite characters of all time is Courage the Cowardly Dog?

True Story: I actually didn't know "Courage the Cowardly Dog" was supposed to be a spooky show until recent years. I thought it was just a wacky series about a dog encountering creepy creatures and sometimes befriending them or stopping them while his owners were mostly oblivious. I was super confused when people were listing it as a "childhood trauma" show on YouTube channels about spooky stuff. Also, I love "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy", and these two series are things I often randomly reference or quote from. 👀

The original Teen Titans cartoon was actually one of my first Fandoms I was active in. In fact, my baseline username, "RaeLogan", is derived from my two favorite characters in the program, Raven and Beast Boy. I made sooooo many AMVs for it, but a lot of them have been lost to time, particularly because it was before YouTube became a thing.

Here's one of my old videos that I was able to keep online. Would you believe someone actually once stole this off my page and re-uploaded it and got like 10x the views I had for this and hoooo-boy, I had quite a chore trying to argue my case and taking it up with YouTube themselves, since the thief was actually trying to monitize this, and I had timestamp upload proof that I was the creator. Partly why I started putting a watermark in the corner of most of my videos

I also have a nostalgic thing for "Samurai Jack", which is probably the one series that I was able to watch every single episode on air date, fun fact.

Here was a video I did when the series finally ended, and I was pleased to use my original DVDs for most of the content, and even my special copy of the pilot that doesn't have the credit text over certain clips

"Samurai Jack" was definitely one of those hyperfixations I had, so I think that counts.

And... I really, really liked Crona from "Soul Eater". They have virtually no merchandise, so it's incredibly hard to collect anything of them that doesn't cost big money, so the closest proximity I can get to collecting anything related to Crona is that Pop figure I have of Maka

... By the way, my pink DS Lite is named "Crona" (my red 3DS is named "Maka" and my New 3DS I got on a Black Friday sale is named "Soul"). I name my devices usually after the current fixation, which also acts as an anchor point to remember that specific point in time.

I generally gravitate towards "misunderstood" characters, but sometimes it's as simple as the voice being aesthetically pleasing as well, which hooks me. Honest to God, I thought Kidd was going to be my favorite in "Soul Eater", and then Episode 7 happened.

Also, I have soooo many dolls of Stitch, as well as some additional merchandise of Stitch from "Lilo and Stitch". I will always gravitate towards the part of the store that has Stitch merch.

Garfield is definitely something I know way too much about, even if I don't really indulge in it too much anymore (I will get quite fired up about how much the live action movie is an absolute travesty that spits all over the source material and emotionally manipulates you into feeling for the characters, and the sequel is a vast improvement for an alternate universe, but the original live action Garfield movie can go fall in a ditch, but "Holla" by Baha Men is a great song to come from it)

When I was 8, I was unreasonably obsessed with learning about the Titanic, for some reason. Not the movie, I mean the actual historical significance and accounts of it. Reading books of transcribed documents and memories and diary entries and all that. I was weirdly obsessed with it for some reason, and I can't explain it, but it lasted like... two years.

And when I was 11, I was obsessed with collecting wind up, twin bell alarm clocks for some reason, I wanted a whole wall of those things, winding the key in the backs of them, just the tick-tick-tick noise, I don't even know where that came from, I just wanted a lot of clocks.

I try to be cautious when I play something like "The Sims", "Spore" and "Creatures 2", because I always fall down a rabbit hole during a specific amount of time that totally absorbs all of my time and attention until I lose interest of them again before I find the games again. 👀

[fedine]

Hey answer all of those

I told you guys it would happen! I’m putting it all under a cut.

moon: what is your astrological sign?

Virgo!

gingerbread: your moral alignment

I struggle with whether or not I’m ‘chaotic’ or ‘lawful’ a lot, so I usually just settle for ‘Neutral Good’

birdseed: family or friends?

Hmm, this is a tough one always, because I love both a lot, but sometimes when it comes down to it one group is going to be healthier than the other for me to be around at certain times.

sheets: your sexual orientation

Bisexual! I am polyamorous too, but I’m in a very very happy monogamous relationship, and I plan to keep it that way.

warm milk: when do you usually fall asleep?

Usually after 12 AM, and normally before 6 AM, but it depends on what the boyfriend and I watch on Netflix that night, since we’re doing that now, or how long we decide to role play for.

pot of honey: your gender identity

Oof, this is a really hard one for me, because I’ve been questioning stuff again. I normally fall into that “feminine” category, because that’s how I present, but I am really unsure of how I actually feel on that matter on a deeper level, you know?

snow: what is your favorite time of year and why?

Autumn-Winter... It’s not even Summer yet right now, and it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit outside today. That time of year just has my favorite days/holidays too! I’d say starting in September (mine and my boyfriend’s anniversary and my birthday) until probably February (Valentine’s Day)? I think that’s when all the fun stuff is!

yarn: what are your most enjoyable hobbies?

I love repainting/customizing dolls, and I would love to get back into it! I had plans to start a little Etsy shop and a YouTube channel for it, but things haven’t gone well for that lately, so I just play a lot of World of Warcraft! Currently, I have a goal to start dual/multiboxing two Mistweaver Monks, AND raid on them (without wiping the raid). It’s gonna be tough, I know, especially in a raiding environment, but I figure if someone can 20+ box a team of Paladins in Emerald Nightmare successfully, I can handle two healers.

bicycle: what are you talented at?

I’m pretty alright at art! I used to be a great jazz bassist, but I haven’t played in years at this point.

folktale: what stories remind you of your childhood?

I don’t really have many that do, if any at all, because I don’t remember a lot of my childhood.

woods: where do you feel at peace?

I feel really at peace in... Skyrim, of all games. Usually just wandering around, exploring out in the wilderness. It really is a beautiful game, landscape wise. I also really like this one spot in the Grizzly Hills/Howling Fjord in World of Warcraft, this tiny clearing in the mountains with a tree and a couple of shrubs where my boyfriend and I go to RP a couple of my personal favorite characters. It’s where they set up camp! I like it a lot! There’s a few other places like that in WoW that have huge sentimental value to me, but if I went over every single one I’d have a massive post here!

chicken feet: what is your emotional “flaw”?

Probably my hyper focusing tendencies that cause me to fixate so hard on one goal that I MUST see it through to the point of almost self destruction, or even worse, when I hyperfixate on too many things at once and it causes me to do that but faster.

red cheeks: what makes you nervous?

Oh jeez, asking stuff from my parents, or confronting them about stuff.

sunflower: what do you love and cherish?

Okay, this is going to sound so cheesy, but... Every single moment I spend with my boyfriend. We’ve spoken for well over 12 hours a day for almost every single say we’ve known each other, since we met formally in July of last year, but I have loved every single second. I really love my boyfriend, okay? Everyone knows.......

bells: what sounds are your favorite or calm you the most?

Oh, well, it’s in the title of this question! Brass and bronze bells are my favorite, especially the big ones!

turnip: what is a food you could eat everyday?

Spaghetti with meat in the sauce, be it meat balls or part of the sauce itself.

spit: do you get jealous easily?

Not really! I used to get more jealous about stuff, but I can’t really see myself in that position anymore, at least with like relationships.

mushroom: list unique things you like about yourself

Hmm, I gave this one some thought, but I really don’t think I have any individual traits that are “unique” because there are so many people in the world that probably display the exact same stuff like: ‘can draw well,’ or ‘can play bass nicely.’ It’s not individual unique traits that make someone unique because there really aren’t unique traits. It’s the combination of them that makes someone unique! Like bricks in a house! All of the bricks are the same, but the house isn’t.

cupboard: a good childhood memory

I remember fondly a time where I once spun a teacup ride on a carousel so fast once my younger sibling got sick. Wasn’t funny at the time but now that we’re like twelve or so years older it’s hilarious now.

eyebags: what do you think makes a person attractive?

U h... Well, I really like long, messy hair, and facial hair. Blue eyes, really tall... Accent....... Really sweet, kind of shy but gets louder and sillier when you get to know him.............

fallen log: something you’ve gotten over that you never thought you would

I honestly never thought I would get over this one relationship I had in 10th grade, but... I got over it... Boy did I get over it... And away from it... Thank Goodness....

dagger: your worst fear

Meeting someone specific from my past, probably.

whisper: do you have any secrets?

Just one really big one, really, but I’m slowly coming to terms with it.

wild boar: which person do you feel closest to?

My boyfriend! Though I also have two best friends, one of ten years, the other of two, and then my sibling is pretty close to me as well!

sweet: what candies or cakes are you fond of?

I love sour candies a lot, and vanilla cakes are my favorite! Ice cream cakes are amazing also.

footprints: do you remember your past lives?

I think I used to, if it’s a real thing that is. I’m still trying to figure that out about myself.

fur: name an animal you feel connected to

Oh man, there’s really so many, but I love dogs and cats, ravens and cockatoos, bees... The list continues.

vodka: do you drink?

Not at the moment, but I’m turning 21 in like 5 months.

sour cherry: an obscure tradition from your family?

We eat king crab around Christmas/New Years. Specifically king crab.

pine needles: what is your favorite scent?

For Valentine’s day, my boyfriend sent me his favorite jacket to wear, and I didn’t take it off for a while because it smelled like him, and I wanted to feel like he was there with me as much as I could. Gosh, I can’t wait to steal another jacket from him meet him for the first time.

heart-shaped: do you believe in love? are you in love?

YEAH, I REALLY DO, AND YEAH, I REALLY AM.

home: where do you dream of living?

Somewhere in California still, with guess-who living with me. I’d love it if my best friends could live nearby as well, but that’s unlikely. Still, it is a dream.

spice: list your favorite herbs

Oregano and Thyme, because I use them in my meatball recipe.

mud: something you’re insecure about but trying to love

My weight. Usually when I imagine what I look like to other people I don’t really imagine anything flattering or kind to myself, but I am trying to work through it. It’s something I kind of have to live with too, no matter what, since I haven’t been able to lose weight for a few years.

tobacco: do you have any addictions?

I play World of Warcraft non-stop for several hours on end every single day. I have been for over two years, which is the longest time in my life I have since I picked the game up ten years ago.

sock: how would you describe your clothing taste?

Expensive, and usually made for much thinner people. I really like the sweet lolita fashion style, but there are a few other styles I like. All still expensive though. Except for flannel + T-shirts. Those always look good together, and are pretty nice and casual enough for me.

cuckoo clock: are you a morning, a noon, or an evening person?

Evening! I usually wake up past noon, and it’s not until around three or four I get to talk to my boyfriend.

wooden fence: a favorite memory

When my boyfriend asked me out!!!! Gosh, I remember it so well. We were role playing together on those two particular characters probably for the... third? Fourth time ever? Well, he asked RIGHT before we were going to start, and all of the week before I kept getting nervous around him. I had decided I wasn’t going to pursue him (because... not going to lie, I thought he was gay for a while there) but every single time he addressed me in voice chat, ESPECIALLY when we were alone, I would tense up and ask myself, “Is he going to ask me out right now?” I had rehearsed what I wanted to say to him in the situation so that if/when it happened, I would be prepared, but I forgot how to talk when it actually happened! I even thought it wasn’t going to right then; it was the one time I thought he wasn’t going to ask. Well, I went silent a couple of seconds, hitting my push to talk button a few times while my mouth hung open. I did say yes though! Both times, because he asked again after I said yes the first time! 

[cloudjumpervalka]

sometimes and by that i mean a lot of the time, i remember how much elsa means to me as a character. in general she’s very mediocre in comparison to others, but she was there for me when i was hella depressed and she’s like a form of comfort for me now.

i was following the production of frozen for the longest time, let’s say about 5ish years before release? i was excited for it, i was disappointed in the changes made, i refused to believe the original elsa and anna leaked design images were real because they looked so bad, i read the script when it leaked and was mad at the conveluded plot.

but the movie came out during the semester of art school i got severe depression through. i had always dreamed of going to art school and working in the animation industry and i had a single thought that went in my brain a week before the semester started. it said i would never be good /enough/. it kept playing back over and over when i would turn in assignments. i did well in school, but the workload was a lot when you decide to take 3 studio classes at once. i started getting overly picky with what i considered to be good enough in my work and eventually stopped turning in assignments. sometimes i would have them “done” but it wasn’t good enough so i didn’t bother

i was living with my grandparents at the time and locked myself in my room to be alone a bunch. i didn’t socialize in classes and who i considered friends were out of reach. i had just started dating my bf a few months prior and the time zone/distance/etc was a new experience altogether. i was constantly scared i would lose my friends not just to distance but other personal reasons not meant to be shared on tumblr. my grandparents gave me my distance and i just spent a lot of time alone. i remember skyping with dean and staying up all night with him bc i didn’t want to be alone.

i got more depressed over time, i was just sad. i would try to fill the void with buying things i had left at home with my parents. i remember i would drive out to the mall. i would get a pretzel to eat. eat it outside the disney store, maybe buy something after. if not disney merch, i would go buy clothes. i had not been eating much aside from the almost daily pretzel and lost about 40/50 pounds within a span of 3 months. i just thought i was losing weight for walking around the city to go to classes and spent a majority of the money i had saved up over my childhood on clothes that i have never been able to fit in aside from those few months at the end of 2013.

the day the game grumps released that one wind waker episode about dans ocd story was released during this time. i watched that episode and immediately started crying bc i knew i wasn’t okay. i had completely changed in a span of about 2 months at that point. i was sad and didn’t know what to do. i constantly wanted to not exist and spent a lot of the time crying and sleeping and starving myself. i called my mom and asked for help. parents tried helping but they didn’t understand at the time what depression meant on that level. i told them maybe i could handle school better if i dropped one of the 4 classes i had. and of course i dropped the history class and not any of the studios. i made schedules and plans to complete the semester but i still. felt overwhelmed and not good enough and lonely and sad and frustrated at these emotions because i couldn’t just focus like a normal person. i lies to my parents to my grandparents to a lot of people that i was continuing my work but i stopped doing 2 of the remaining 3 classes altogether. ended up with withdraw failures in them.

the last class was my life drawing class. i enjoyed it a lot. i took a train into the city to go to it. i found peace in the hour listening to music to get there. i would talk to dean before he went to bed on my way there and greet him in his mornings when i went home. i thought i could handle it and it was going well. besides for the assignments that were meant to be done at home. we had a final that was meant to be an illustration showing our learned skills in the class in a 24x36in size. not bad at all. i got the paper, had the sketch. i just had to do it. but i didn’t. when i was in that room at my grandparents place i felt nothing but emptiness. so i filled it whatever i could think of

my hyperfixation of things soon moved to the release of frozen. i had followed it previously and was excited to go see it. i had bought the classic dolls for the main characters the day they were released and left them in box in case i didn’t like the movie and wanted to sell them. my immediate family came to visit my grandparents for thanksgiving that year and i asked my mom if we could go see frozen at it’s earliest showing on release day. she agreed because i lied to her saying my figure drawing class had been cancelled for the holidays (it wasn’t bc we were meant to show progress on our finals)

i cried so hard so fast bc whatever i was feeling i felt through elsa. i projected so much onto her and i fell in love. it gave me a second wind. i bought the frozen soundtrack and would sing along to let it go on the way to the train station. i felt like i could overcome my depression as simple as that. but circumstances don’t work like that

i never turned in that final despite it being the assignment where “if u don’t turn it in u fail”.

i dropped out of art school, telling my parents maybe i wasn’t meant for art. i’m not good enough to make it in the industry if i’m like this. i was gonna go home and go to the local state college instead. get a degree in something ... useful.

i left art school with a total gpa of 0.9

elsa is a character that’s just. i never understood the popularity frozen had. it has problems. it’s ... not that great honestly. but elsa stood out for me. she was some sort of proof to me i could be happy.

a lot has happened in the past 4 years, but i can say i’m honestly happy. i have a lot of good things going on. though i think the most important to this story i guess is ?

i’m graduating with my bachelors in art in may. my gpa is back at a 3.6. i took 3 studios classes this semester on top of 2 art history lectures and made it through. i thought so little of myself and my abilities over the years. i never thought i’d graduate college at that point i was at 4 years ago. when i applied to my local uni, i had to appeal to get in because of my low gpa from those 4 semesters of art school. i spent 2 years there not knowing if i even wanted to do art again. but i realized this is something that’s always been a part of me. it’s who i am? and i want to use this talent i had to. make it in the industry. my dream for as long as i can remember is to make media for kids who feel lost and alone. it’s always been my dream and i won’t let anyone or anything keep me from trying my hardest to make it happen, which includes not letting myself stop me.

i don’t know what the future holds but i’m excited to see where it takes me

and it just happens to involve me and my fleeting hyperfixation on elsa asking for the olaf’s frozen adventure limited edition elsa doll for chrismas because i want to say i look at her and think everything i just said

but in reality i just go shheeeees my wiiiiiiiife i looooooove herrrrrrrrr