#i was staring at my phone like 👁️👄👁️

[eepymonstrr]

My new prison is shame 😔

MY NEW PRISON IS SHAAAMMEEEE

wats he sayin 😨

he said my new prison is shame 🤓

[jangmi-latte]

I’m guessing the random asks are (mostly) April Fool’s

IT MADE ME LOSE SOME EYEBROW HAIR BAJDHAHSHHADHA I THOUGHT IT WAS DIFFERENT ANONS NOT JUST ONE AND HOLY SHIT DID THEY SEND IT FAST AS FUCK

[always-just-red]

I wanted a slightly suggestive fluff with the twins if that's alright👁️👄👁️

A scenario in which they're finally done with Sylus's tasks for the day and get to spend some time with MC

CRYINGGG anon I low-key did deviate from the brief but I had this idea and I just ended up running with it. I hope you enjoy, regardless! I went into this ambivalent towards Luke and Kieran but something just possessed me honestly. Also dragged Sylus into it because there's no way in hell I wasn't subjecting him to this dynamic!! 😇 (I made MC here separate from canon MC for plot reasons, but if you want a fic with the twins and canon MC, just let me know!)

Onychinus' Finest

Luke and Kieran x Reader

Summary: All in a day's work for Sylus's loyal and committed worker bees crows

Genre: fluff & shenanigans

Warnings/Additional tags: MDNI (not smut but it's a lil spicy and I'd rather play it safe tbh), f!reader, nonMC!reader, platonic Sylus x reader, humour, swearing, suggestion, kisses, the twins are just obsessed with your legs honestly and who could blame them

| Word count: 2.1k | Masterlist |

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

Your call connects almost instantly.

“What?” Sylus hisses from the other end, and you get the impression he’s disappointed.

“Oof,” you groan, smiling, “what’s the matter, boss? Waiting on a call from a certain Deepspace Hunter?”

There’s silence in your ear, but not far from you, Kieran snickers. Your smile broadens. “You have three seconds,” Sylus seethes, with the precarity of a pot that could boil over at any moment, “to tell me what I want to hear.”

Three seconds is a bit of a push. You’re sat on a desk and Kieran is tapping away at the computer beside you, the light of the screen catching the sharp features of his mask; he looks like something from a horror story. You nudge his knee with your foot. He glances at you.

Wrap it up, you signal with a twirl of your forefinger.

His mask tilts downwards, almost imperceptibly, and you know he’s glaring at you from behind it. He flashes his middle finger back and you chuckle, watching him return to his work. “Files should be on their way shortly,” you explain to Sylus, because you know when to stop pushing your luck. “Ever’s upped the security on these damn computers. The device that guy sold you didn’t do shit.”

It’s also now pieces of a device, shattered against the floor from when Kieran had thrown it down and stepped on it in frustration. You’re not gonna mention that.

Sylus sighs impatiently, but there’s a hint of regret. “I knew there was something off about that deal. Do you think he tipped them off?”

You glance around the room and it’s littered with bodies. Not dead! Just… unconscious. At least, most of them, you think. “Yeah…” you muse. It was a lot more security than there should have been in a high-rise office in the middle of the night. “You might be onto something there, boss.”

Another sigh from Sylus. You watch Luke as he finishes looting— wait, no— checking the last of the security guards for anything helpful. He’s found a phone and he’s staring down at it, head tilted, reminding you of Mephisto. You briefly wonder what came first: the crow masks or the crow-like behaviour. Maybe you’ll ask Sylus one day.

Luke lifts the phone, holding it at arm’s length, and you realise he’s taking a selfie. He pivots until you and Kieran are in the background, and you lean into the frame, making a peace sign with your free hand. The moment is captured. Luke tosses the phone over his shoulder and it hits the floor with a crack.

“Are you all alright?” Sylus checks, and you know his eyes are burning with frustration, even though you can’t see them. He wears a mask too— most of the time— it’s just a little more figurative than yours or the twins’. You’re an expert at reading past them by now.

“Yeah,” you say, “we signed up for this, remember? You’ve got the best of the best, right here.” You glance between Luke and Kieran. “Well, the best of the best and her sidekicks.”

“Hey!” Kieran interjects. “You wanna have a go on this computer?”

“No,” you lilt back sweetly. What’s he gonna do— make you? Sure enough, he goes back to tapping away, his head sagging slightly, and you can tell he’s pouting.

Luke has wandered closer to the pair of you. “How much longer?” he whines, throwing himself into a wheely chair, setting it on a slow collision course with Kieran’s. You stop it with your leg.

“Shut up,” Kieran snaps. “At least I’m doing something.”

“I can do something,” Luke retorts. He captures your ankle, pulling it away from the leg of his chair, and rests a hand on your shin.

“Something isn’t in the mood right now.” You lift your foot from his grasp, inching it up his lower abdomen, and he groans as you plant it against his chest. “So unprofessional,” you tut.

You’d stifled your phone against your chest, but you can hear a deep voice leaking out of it. “Say that again, boss?” you request, bringing it back to your ear.

“How long is this going to take?” Sylus repeats.

“Not long. You know what they say, though…” You meet the eyes of Luke’s mask. Your tone drops: “All good things to those who wait.”

Luke’s chair squeaks, rolling back as you push him away with a soft kick.

“Fine,” Sylus murmurs, “Mephisto is with me. Stay on the line, and send the files through when you can. I’ll check them before you leave. If they knew we were coming, there’s a chance that—”

“Yeah, yeah, I get the picture,” you interrupt. You get Kieran’s attention again, then gesture between the computer and the phone. The beak of his mask dips as he nods.

Luke has used your lapse of focus to draw himself close to you again. He takes your ankle once more and guides it to rest in his lap, one hand tight— holding you in place— and the other deftly undoing the buckles on your boot. After a few clinks, he pulls it from your foot, the leather dragging down over your skin and leaving it cold. He throws the boot at his twin’s leg.

Kieran huffs as it tumbles to the floor. He doesn’t look away from the computer, but you know he wants to. Now that’s professional.

Decidedly committed to another priority, Luke draws shapes on your lower leg, his finger grazing over your shin and ankle. He’s staring down, fixated, and maybe they aren’t shapes— maybe they’re letters. Every stroke of his finger is deliberate. You could ask what he’s writing, but you really don’t care so long as it’s more than a word or two.

If it is, he doesn’t have the patience for it. His fingers walk higher, stopping only as they reach your knee. The fabric of your dress is draped over your leg and he pushes it aside, letting it slink closer to the floor. He looks up at you, head angled like a question.

“Any progress?” Sylus asks.

You’re holding your phone between your ear and your shoulder, both hands splayed on the desk beside you so you can lean slightly back. “Getting there,” you say, lips curving. You’re not looking at the computer.

You could swear you hear Luke laugh, but it’s ever so faint. He rests his whole hand on you, warming your lower leg with broader strokes, and whatever he wrote has been erased. Your breath catches as his touch moves above your knee, and it’s a tiny sound; no-one would notice.

Kieran’s mask turns towards you. “Oh, come on,” he sighs. “No fair.”

It’s an intimate art: seeing behind a mask. You have to notice everything.

“So hurry up,” Luke answers, his voice heavier than the last time he spoke. His chest rises and falls with every breath, just a little slower, a little deeper.

Kieran rolls his eyes—you guess, from the listless way his attention goes back to the screen— and you detect a huff. “Not fair,” he says to himself. He repeats it as he punches keys with his fingers: “Not fair. Not fair.”

Luke shakes his head gently: a fond exasperation rather than anything serious. He rolls his chair closer until he’s framed by your legs, then lifts your ankle to rest on his shoulder. His fingers curl, the pads of them brushing over the top of your foot idly, but it tickles, so you try to pull away. He grasps your ankle again. “Nuh-uh, kitten,” he teases.

It’s one of your favourite in-jokes; you laugh. Sylus can still hear you, and you’re glad he doesn’t know it’s at his expense. “Something funny?” he asks. Maybe he does know.

“Yeah,” you say. He could string you upside-down with his Evol and you’d still never tell him what.

Luke is chuckling to himself, and the sound changes as he lifts his mask just enough to free the lower half of his face. It’s not the first time, but it sobers you instantly. He turns to press his lips to your ankle, leans in— kisses further up. Leans in again— his mouth moves higher.

“Why so wriggly?” he speaks into your knee. “Stop.”

“You stop,” you counter, reaching forward to grab one of the horns peeking out of his hood. You use it to pull him away. Make him look at you. “Your little book on conquest doesn’t work on me.”

His lips widen into a smirk.  

“What book?” Sylus’s voice echoes.

You smirk as well. “Ask your pet hunter.”

You’re interrupted by a thud and your head spins. Kieran is standing up, slapping the top of the computer in frustration. “C’mon, work!” he urges. “So freakin’ slow.”

“Ah, ah, ah.” You shoo him away from the computer like you would a too-friendly pigeon from your lunch.

He flaps back in answer, his hand engaging yours in a brief slap-fight before he backs down. He slumps into his chair, defeated. “It’s almost there,” he groans, folding his arms. “Hey, Luke? Wanna swap?”

“No.”

“Do it,” you prompt.

Luke’s head rolls begrudgingly. “Yes ma’am. Jeez.” He plants a warm kiss on your leg again before clambering out from underneath it, pulling his mask back down over his face.

Another moment later and Kieran is in front of you instead. “You ok?” you wonder out loud.

“Bored.” He rests his head sideways on your thigh. His fingers find your bare lower leg and he runs them up, down, up, down, but it’s soft and purposeless. Soon, his head lifts— thin, red eyes staring up at you. The gaze doesn’t waver as he leans back in his chair and starts to unfasten your other boot.

“She’s gonna get cold,” Luke quips from the computer.

“Nah. She’s not.”

Your skin prickles as Kieran pulls away your boot, like a reflection of his brother, but tortuously more slow. He lets the cool air of the room set in. “Huh,” he corrects himself. “Maybe she is.”

You get the sense you’re being punished; both of them are petty. You’re pettier, though. “Sylus?” you speak into the phone.

“Mmm?”

“Did I ever tell you about the time that Kieran— ah!”

In a heartbeat Kieran has lifted his mask— not enough, but enough— and planted a kiss above your knee. His hand is around your leg, pushing it further from the other, and you can’t help but gasp again.

“What are you…” Sylus starts to ask, but then he changes his mind. “No. I don’t want to know.”

“You sure, boss?” you chuckle breathlessly. “It might surprise you.”

“Nothing would surprise me at this point, sweetie. Those files had better be on their way.”

You tear your gaze away from Kieran to glance over at Luke. He’s sat, propped on an elbow, his chin in his palm, and he’s definitely not looking at the computer. He sits up straight under your scrutiny. Turns to the screen. After a few more drums of the keyboard, he gives you a thumbs up.

“Got it,” Sylus chimes in, no doubt perusing the files already. “Nothing seems amiss. Nice work.”

“Thanks, boss,” you grin. “I’ve been working very, very hard.”

The phone is snatched from your hand. “She has, sir!” Kieran speaks into it. He stands, putting it on speaker before setting it down beside you. “I think she deserves the night off.”

There’s a crash as he shoves the computer from the desk, and Luke leans back, swinging his feet up onto the now empty space. He lifts his mask marginally to put two fingers to his lips, whistling in celebration. There’s a slow clap for good measure, too.

Kieran bows to him with a flourish. Then to you; you bow your head back.

“I’m hanging up,” Sylus states plainly.

“Ok,” you chirp, distracted. “I hope she calls you soon, boss!”  

“I don’t… I’m not…” your leader stutters. He reconsiders. “Thank you. Don’t think, however, that I’m—”

He doesn’t get to finish the warning, threat, or whatever else it was. Luke’s finger stands proudly on the phone, still connected to the ‘end call’ button. “What?” he dismisses as you and Kieran look at him. “I slipped! If boss asks, you saw me slip.”

“I did see it,” Kieran nods.

“I saw it too,” you add solemnly.  

There’s silence for a single moment, and there’s never silence with you three around. It lasts as long as it usually does.

You all burst into laughter.

[lunarw0rks]

price would be on his phone, laying in bed with you. his hand plays with your thigh before some subconscious part of his brain recognizes he needs something more. his hand travels up before going under your waistband to play with your hair (it’s not embarrassing. i also twirl that shit. what else is it there for? fighting diseases? 🤨) and at some point he’ll put down his phone, run his other hand through his (head) hair with a sigh before looking at you to find you staring at him like 👁️👄👁️ and then he realizes he’s been teasing you for like ten minutes LMFAO

a/n: okay good, bc i'll be laying there practically braiding it for fun LMAO this scenario is making my brain go brrr. it's not a want. it's a need atp ;))

warning(s): nsfw, fingering, fem!reader

alternatively; he's reading one of his stupid novels, all invested and hmming to himself while he does it !!! your back is facing him, lying between his legs as you attempt to occupy yourself.

enjoying silent quality time like any other evening, watching whatever movie/show that's playing. whilst price is skimming the pages, the hand that's been caressing your thigh subconsciously moves upward, until it's reached your undergarments.

he's done this before, so it's not exactly surprising. until it was.

he just kept going. for a solid ten minutes, he was twirling the hairs that had grown in down there. fingertips barely kissing along the smooth skin of your core while he does so. to him, it's just a satisfying sensation, the way the strands are soft and thin against his callouses. and it's you, his lover, being touched in places only he's allowed to see.

a win for him; a silent battle of temptation for you.

then he sighs, setting aside the novel. finally, an escape from this voiceless torture. you've turned to look at him, eyes conflicted and full of need.

it's only then that the clueless bastard realizes what he's been doing to you. he's gathered a mess between your thighs, coating those hairs in a thin layer of slick for how many passes his thick fingers made. and poor you, unsure of whether to buck your hips or stay as still as a statue.

however, now you're nothing but a needy mess that needs tending to. at least, that's all your lust-filled brain can muster right now.

suddenly, he can feel it too. the hand resting there, now with the pads saturated in your arousal. "was I teasing you, sweetheart? got you all hot and bothered, and you didn't say a damn thing about it." he leaned forward and spoke close to your ear, now actively letting his fingers glide along your soaked entrance.

they slip inside with ease, but just two of them still have to be crammed to fit.

price curls them inside you, pumping them just enough to make the squelches audible in the room, "suppose you deserve this then, eh? messy little thing, you are..."

[milaisreading]

where's the pt 3 of toddler manager? 👁️👄👁️

Author: 😭😭😭 here u go! Thanks for the request and I hope u like it🩷

Warnings ⚠️: None really. Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Pt 1 pt2 Pt4

Chris was a crying mess. If someone saw him on the street, they'd think he had gone insane, but as for the coaches at Blue Lock, they couldn't help but roll their eyes at his rediculous behavior.

"Chris... will you please let (Y/n) eat in peace?" Snuffy grumbled as he held the toddler while Noa fed her the food Anri had prepared. Lavinho was taking a picture here and there, but wasn't too much of a drama queen like the blonde coach.

"I am not doing anything!"

"You are literally sobbing and taking a video of her eating. I am struggling to feed her as she keeps on giggling at your rediculous facial expressions." Noa sent the Welsh man a side glare as he wiped the extra food off of (Y/n)'s face.

"It's not my fault she is so adorable! Right, (Y/n)?"

"Dada..." The girl answered simply.

"Cute!" Chris exclaimed, pulling the girl out of Snuffy's hold and hugged her.

"Awww! You are so adorable!"

"Chris, she didn't eat yet!" Lavinho yelled as Noa and Snuffy glared at the blonde.

"She might starve! Give her back!" Snuffy told him, but everything fell on deaf ears.

"How about I take you back to Manshine instead? Ohh! Just imagine all the pictures we can take of you in a uniform of ours!" Now this caught Noa's attention as he got up and walked towards Chris.

"(Y/n) is still Bastard München manager, toddler or not. Besides, I already prepared a uniform for her to wear." Noa admitted, trying to take the girl from Chris, but the man pulled her back as he glared at the French man.

"You take those barbarian hands away from her. And what do you mean you have it prepared? Those ugly colors don't suit a child. The blue ones of my team tho..." Chris smirked at the French. Noa bit back a few curse words, as (Y/n) was staring at them intensely.

"Ah! While we are at it, my Barcha uniform would look better on her." Lavinho said as he got up along with Snuffy.

"Well, considering we all had similar ideas. How about we dress her up in the uniforms and see which one looks better on her. Ubers will win here anyways." The Italian coach said as all 4 glared at each other, meanwhile (Y/n) was giggling and clapping her hands.

"Gentlemen and... gentlemen, may I avert your eyes to the best uniform (Y/n) will ever wear! Look, I even got her a cute ribbon!" Chris exclaimed, holding the girl up as she now wore the light blue Manshine uniform. Snuffy and Noa clapped their hands slowly, staring at the girl in fake boredom.

'Adorable! She will look even cuter in my Ubers uniform!' Snuffy thought.

'Cute!' Noa surpassed a blush as Lavinho took a few pictures of the girl when Chris had put her down.

"And? Isn't she the cutest?! Please let her join Manshine!" Chris urged Noa, who sighed and shook his head.

"Hmm..." (Y/n) let out a few sounds as she started playing with the ribbon Chris had put on her head.

"It seems like she isn't too fond of the ribbon. Alright! Let me show off my uniform next!" Lavinho got up from his spot and picked (Y/n) up, excited to show his off.

"Alright! She is ready for her first match! I found a plushie football with my team's colors!" Lavinho boasted as he put (Y/n) on his shoulders, causing Chris to yell at him.

"Are you out of your mind?! What if she falls down?!" The blonde yelled at the Spaniard, who shook his concerns off.

"Calm down, I am holding her. Snuffy, take a picture!" Lavinho said as the Italian took his phone out, looking cautiously at the girl.

"Yeah I will, then you put (Y/n) down."

"Do you trust me so little?" Lavinho pouted as he put the girl down.

"I don't trust you at all." Snuffy said as he went up to the two.

"The colors don't suit my child at all! The baby blue was better, right (Y/n)?" Chris said, looking at the girl.

"Ha?" She looked up while patting the soft material of the football.

"You ate just jealous because she will pick mine, aka that I am her favorite!"

"Where did that come from?!" Snuffy yelled into the Spaniard's face as Chris joined in, protesting the idea. Noa used this opportunity and picked (Y/n) up from the ground, and both watched the trio argue.

"Can you all not yell in front of (Y/n)?"

Snuffy turned to them, looking offended and went to take the girl from him.

"Anyways! Time for the best uniform around!" The Italian announced.

"Look how cute and bella (Y/n) is in my uniform! She even likes the little plushie I got her!" Snuffy grinned as (Y/n) hugged the little zebra plushie,dressed in the Ubers' uniform. Lavinho let out a small 'boo' as he took a picture of the girl as Snuffy helped her stand properly.

"She looks like a prisoner! The colors don't suit her at all." Chris shuddered as he went over to inspect the uniform more.

'This is a disaster. She looks so cute, even in this one!' The Welsh man thought as he got a hit on the head from Snuffy.

"I am just being honest! Right (Y/n), it's ugly?"

"Dada..." The girl answered looking up at him in confusion.

"Don't listen to a British man when it comes to taste (Y/n), did you ever taste their food?"

"Welsh man! And we are going that route now?" The blonde yelled in anger as Lavinho and Noa quickly interjected.

"Now it's Noa's turn!"

"Yeah, yeah. Do your best, man." Snuffy told the white-haired coach.

'Hmmm... what can I give her that I know she will like?' Noa raised an eyebrow as he carried (Y/n) out of the room. Then an idea hit him, knowing exactly what will make her pick Bastard München's uniform.

"So? Where is she?" Snuffy raised an eyebrow as Noa returned with no (Y/n).

"Did you lose her or something?" Lavinho was the next one to ask.

"Maybe she ran off after she saw the uniform." Chris chuckled, earning a laugh from the other two. Noa rolled his eyes and pointed behind him.

"No, she seems quite content wearing my team's uniform, right?" Noa smirked as the other three looked behind him.

"Ness!" (Y/n) exclaimed as she hugged the said boy, who was carrying her.

"That's cheating, Noa!" Lavinho yelled at his friend.

"Yeah, and why aren't you training?" Chris asked Ness while (Y/n) was playing with his hair.

"Noa told me it was fine and said I could play with (Y/n) for the rest of the day." The magenta-eyed boy shrugged his shoulders.

"This isn't fair, you know Ness is her favorite." Snuffy glared at Noa.

"So? You guys never set up any rules."

As the 4 adults argued, Ness walked off somewhere quieter and sat down.

"Ness..." The girl kept on repeating as she played with his hair..

"Ah... I can't wait till you are back in your old size, although you are cute like this too."

[coffee-with-creamer]

I am literally pacing around my living room listening to Jars of Rebuke episode 4, no spoilers please and it sounds like I’m intruding on something very personal in the beginning.

Okay slight spoiler

I think Jared just went on a date with Darius, no like I’m legit sure they’re gay for each other like folks is it gay for guys to go on picnic and watched the river flow by and the only company is only them. Is it gay for the two of them to go on long walks along the river talking about everything and anything. Is it gay for Darius to say “I need to tell you something serious” AND THEN GET CUT OFF BY A PHONE CALL BEFORE WE GET TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

No here’s something better is it gay for Darius to wrap his jacket around his homie and then run to his farm as the very guy thought his jacket smelled nice?

I’m losing my mind and I feel like I’m reading someone’s dairy and that’s the point because that podcast is basically an audio journal. But god picture this,

This guy goes on about how bad his day was to the point of needing ice cream and when your all concern and like “Rant about it to me.”

And then he begins with a dreamlike date with his pal and my single ass is staring like

👁️👄👁️

Anyway I’m really enjoying Jar of Rebuke, if you haven’t listen to it and is reading this anyway. Go and listen to it now if you’re interested.

[huggybearhughes43]

Will you please write an Alex Lyon smut for the Lyon girlies👁️👄👁️?😮‍💨🥹✨

Something about like him being heartbroken breaking up with his gf and where he is lost in life , and y/n who works for red wings social media team helps him out when he’s the lowest and it turns innocent but spicy in the end🥹

Thank you

Alex Lyon x Fem! Reader

Warnings- smut, raw dawgin, riding, oral (m! Receiving), rebound sex, cum swallowing

Summary- in the ask

Word count- 1.2k

I arrived to work early this morning, thinking nothing of it but to merely get more work done. I was sat in my office chair, working on the computer, when I heard the doors open and close in the distance. I glance at the clock in the corner of my computer screen and it was still an hour before the team was meant to arrive. I decide to ignore it, thinking it must be a manager.

That’s what I thought until I heard a soft knocking at my door. “Come in,” I whisper just enough for the person to hear. The last thing I expected was for Alex Lyon to walk it totally disheveled. His hair was a mess, eyes puffy, and cheeks red. I realize who it was, standing up and walking towards him. “Alex? What happened?” My hand raises to his cheek, my thumb wiping away a tear.

He clears his throat, his eyes looking everywhere but me. “She broke up with me.” He doesn’t specify a name but I know exactly who he’s referring to. I saw her sometimes at the practices and at the games but she’s never talked to the team outside of Alex. He shakes his head and places a hand over mine on his face before looking down at me. “Look, I didn’t know who else to come to�� I’m sorry I bothered you.” He shakes his head and begins to retract.

“No,” I shake my head with a soft, comforting smile, “it’s okay, really. I have work to finish but you’re welcome to stay if you want.” He nods and makes his way to the comfortable couch I have in the corner of my office. I sit back in my chair and get back to work. After about an half hour my work was complete for now. I twirl my chair around to look at him and I sigh.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” I stand up and walk towards Alex. He shakes his head and a quiet “no” falls from his lips. I pinch my lips closed and sit next to him on the couch. I allow my hand to run through his hair. “Are you going to be okay for practice?” I pause, “If not, you can always stay in here with me.” My hand drops from his hair to my lap, his eyes eventually find mine. “I… I- uh, I’ll stay in here.” I smile and nod, “okay”.

Pretty much for the rest of the day Alex was cooped up in my office, scrolling through his phone while I completed the work the managers give to me. The time on my computer beep six pm, I look over to Alex. He’d been sitting on that couch for twelve hours, alternating through being on his phone, napping, and just staring at the ceiling fighting back tears. I close my laptop and move my chair to face him once again. I stand up and move to sit on one of the arm armrests of the couch.

He looks up from his phone and looks up at me. He was laying down on the couch. “It sucks seeing you like this.” I begin, “what could I possibly do to make you feel better?” He sits up without breaking eye contact. “I mean, I could buy you dinner…” I think, “I could, I dunno, anything you want I guess?” “Kiss me.” My eyes go wide and my neck snaps to look at him. “What?” “You asked what could you do to make me feel better, kiss me.” I go quiet, thinking about it for a moment. He notices the quietness and clears his throat. “Or don’t- I- I mean you don’t have to.”

I cut his paranoid rant off with pressing my lips to his. He takes a second to kiss back, clearly in shock that I did what he asked. But eventually his lips move with mine and he moves his hands to hold the sides of my face. In the heat of the kiss, I slide off of the arm rest and into his lap, straddling him. His hands move from my face, down my back, to rest on my ass. He squeezes and I pull away from the kiss, breathless. “Are you sure, Alex? I mean, will this really make you feel better?”

He looks up at me and presses a soft kiss to my lips before speaking. “Feelings don’t have to be involved… I just wanna forget.” I take in a deep breath and nod, pressing my lips back to his. The kiss was slow and thoughtful, his hands roaming all over the back of my body. I pull away and peel my shirt off of my body, tossing it on the floor. I connect our lips once again as I unclip my bra and disregard it on the floor like my shirt.

Alex moves his kisses down my jaw and all the way down to my breasts. He moves to squeeze them as he peppers kisses all over them. I tug at the hem of his shirt, silently asking him to take it off. He listens and strips it off and throwing it with the rest of the clothes. The skirt I was wearing was bunched at my waist and my panties were pulled to the side in no time. He nestled his head onto my shoulder as he pulled down his sweatpants just enough to let his hard cock spring free.

Alex moves one of his hands to rub through my folds, making sure I was comfortable and ready for him. He slowly moves to line himself up, waiting for any protest before he pushes in. When all he hears is heavy breaths from me, he moves his hands to my hips, pulling me down slowly to sit onto him. I throw my head back as he bottoms out, I allow small breathy moans to fall from my lips. His lips attach themselves to my neck to fight back his moans.

Alex’s hands move my hips back and forth on his. One of his hands fall from my hips, lower for his thumb to rub circles on my clit. “Alex…” I whine out. “I know, pretty girl, cum for me.” He whispers into my neck. My pussy clenches around him, my orgasm getting closer and closer. The band snaps inside of me and my cum coats his cock. I moan out, grounding myself by putting my hand in his hair harshly. The action of pulling his hair sends him over the edge, he pulls me off of him but before he could cum I fall to my knees.

Alex understands what I’m asking for as I stick my tongue out for him. He throws his head back as he cums. His hand jerking back and forth, making sure every drop landed in my mouth. Once he finishes I swallow and show him proof. He laughs as he pulls his sweatpants back up. I readjust my skirt and redress myself, throwing him his shirt. “Feel better now?” He pulls his shirt on and stands up. Before I can react, Alex pulls me into a hug, “Way better, thank you.”

[youngjusticerulez]

HELP THEY MADE A FREAKING SEX JOKE IN A KIDS SHOW-

I remember watching this in my phone and my parents were just staring at me like: 👁️👄👁️

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Y/N has a group chat with Bokuto's two older sisters and all they do is exchange pictures of Koutarou

Nothing can convince me otherwise

… ok but you right…

“Umm YN-” Kōtarō asks as you sit down

“Yes the love of my life?” You say as Bokuto holds up your phone

“Umm your phone was buzzing and I noticed the name of the group chat,” he said pointing to the screen that contained the name of said group chat

“Oh yeah, it’s such a fun group chat!” You say, eyes sparkling 🤩

“Babe it’s says ‘Kōtarō Bokuto’s greatest moments’ is this a chat about me?” He says as you vigorously nod

“Yep! Your sisters and I have a group chat where we send pictures and quotes,” you says as Bokuto stares are you

Bokuto rn 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ about me?

“Yep! Like usually I’ll send photos of you sleeping or like at practice! You know how much we all love you Kō,” you say as his eyes begin to water 🥹

He grabs his phone, pulling up his contacts listen and his dial

“Who are you calling?” He says as a voice streams through the phone

“AKKAASSHIIIII YN AND MY SISTERS HAVE A GROUP CHAT DEDICATED TO ME!! HEY HEY HEY IM THE GREATEST!” He says as you giggle, your phone chiming with a text

Akaashi: I’m going to need you to add me to that group chat YN….

[itsdappleagain]

being late for cs weekly is just gonna be my thing now, yeah? im just fashionably late always <3

anyways, its time for: the duke of vermeer caper!

aka the zack messes up and has to cover his ass caper lol. just kidding- he does a pretty damn good job. i also love seeing chase and julia acclimate to acme in this ep! ONTO THE NOTES!

going to talk about the intro being soo hot forever

pls they try so hard to pretend for a minute that the duchess isn't carmen. her first moment onscreen plays carmen's theme song

i like how it goes from our usual personal camera angles to the security cam footage!

it is carmen sandiego, actually

"we had no record of her existence until she showed up here. but we do know what she's called somehow"

fuck you devineaux i love learning about vermeer. good on chief for throwing chase under the bus

i always think of julia as veyr bookish, but she's extremely tech savvy. she's on a tablet or a phone pretty much the entire first episode, she nails acme tech immediately...

blue is totally ur color girl you can rock anything girl

love how they just have that painting out. no protection, bare fingies all over it. carmen "all history is a treasure" sandiego, yet again

it totally is ivy you could rock blonde i think

carmen "here's what we know but i'll explain it to everyone again for the audience's benefit" sandiego

love mime bomb breaking the 4th wall jhgdsajgsh he would

you can compare girl with a pearl earring here to the real one i used for my header. considering they had to animate the paintings, i'd say its a job well done translating them to cs style! maybe somewhat less vibrant, but again- style.

Fun fact: the Dogs Playing Poker wikipedia page mentioned CS

and also calls cleo a princess

player's so proud of his terrible light pun i love him

what a fucking crime that zack deprived us of a high-stakes undercover episode with one of the faculty and a hoarde of dangerous operatives all while carmen was dressed like THIS

quality is terrible sorry but you know. actually what a crime

i love the terror on everyone's faces when everything immediately goes to shit

the thought process zack went through to think that he called, they made and delivered the food within five fucking minutes,,

EVERYONE HIDING IS SO FUNNY TO ME poor ivy has to go back in the closet </3

dash haber is fucking stupid (affectionate)

CARMEN POPPING UP FROM BEHIND THE BAR AND JUST STARING AT HIM IS SO FUNNY SHE'S LIKE Z A C K i also like how zack immediately goes "UH GOTTA THINK OF A COVER UH WE'RE MARRIED" the thought process was just. good job

zack's facial expressions in this episode are so good honestly

i also love how zack went "yeah im from boston" and immediately covered up his boston accent he's so silly

poor carmen wheeze

she went "NO DONT LET HIM DO THAT" and zack threatened murder

imagine only have 33 of vermeer's paintings and not 34 what a loser

the tiny eye flutter dash does when he hangs up is so funny pls

HIS GRIN BEFORE IVY WHACKS HIM WITH THE WIG IS SO

carmen is so chill about what just happened khzghsdgh

idk thought it was interesting i never knew what that was

player what do you think the not so good news is. really and honestly what do you think

the grimace on carmen's face progressively getting deeper as zack fails to not be bostonian is so funny shes just like. eugh

also what did moving his chin possibly help to accomplish

they did zack so dirty with that monkey suit joke shdfjsagsh

carmen is REALLY calling on her cleo childhood for this one. also. poor zack actually

the obsession with making him eat fish please just let him tell them he's allergic

CARMEN IS SO FUCKING HARSH WITH HIM IM SORRY she's like "cleo's going to fucking feed you to her dogs" and then zack works overnight to make this happen and when he comes out all ready she's just like 👁️👄👁️ showtime

its literally 7am i feel so bad for him

"park the fork in my mouth" plays in my head constantly i dont even know why

LOOK AT HIM HE DID SUCH A GOOD JOB THE GRIN WITH THE EYEBROWS AND EVERYTHING. NICE JOB ZACK

they didnt go over zack not wearing a tracker before or

pls neither of the girls can drive

girl i know it is impossible to look behind you with the side mirrors in the passenger seat nuh uh no way in hell did she even see devineaux well enough to turn it. also you just took away one of ivy's mirrors nice job carmen

shes so

DIDNT I DO IT FOR YOU...

i wonder, considering carmen's other aliases, what carmen and the crew registered as. did julia see "rogue scarletina" and go hmm might be the duchess

poor julia this season wheeze

"old admirer" youve known about him for one singular week

a "klick" is apparently a kilometer. who knew. its also apparently a military term.

LITERALLY POOR IVY carmen is not treating her crew well this time around

"ahh a drawbridge" WHAT. OTHER KIND OF BRIDGE CAN YOU HACK INTO you wouldn't download a bridge

ivy has some good expressions too actually

i laugh every time at how outraged chase gets between the second and third slo-mo shot of him turning around in the car

THEY LOOK SO SHOCKED HHAHAHA

ARE YOU?? UNDERWATER??

the direction you wish to eject is so funny to me. ejecting out the bottom <3

i love how theyre just standing there like "hmmmmm is devineaux drowning??"

oh my god ivy's driving stick i would be terrified too

i would kill someone to have heard haber say "the hostess with the mostest" pls also he looks so sad about being cut off

okay so.. zack actually can speak italian and i totally forgot about that. he says "good evening, my beautiful countess" which. everyone probably knew already

he's just vomiting back up what carmen said in the hotel jhdgsgsh

the dogs ARE so cute

DASH IN THE BG OFFENDEDLY LOOKING OVER ZACKS SHOULDER AS THEY WALK AWAY

i love dash he's such a rightfully petty bitch about everything

HI LADY DOKUSO AND COUNTERFEITER FROM S3

the cleaners do everything

PLS IVY KNEELING IN THE HALLWAY TO GET THAT VERY CARTOONY SHOT OF THEM POKING OUT FROM BEHIND THE WALL

not the three digit code for the room containing 34 vermeers

have i mentioned that they FLY through this dinner party because holy shit

OKAY NOW IVY WEARS GLOVES WHERE THE HELL WERE THOSE WHEN THEY WERE HANDLING THEM BEFORE

or i wonder if its because zack and ivy are registered citizens and if their fingerprints were found on the vermeers they would be put on wanted lists??

why ivy isn't three centimeters away from the stand with the replacement i will never understand

zack you're literally on the edge of the table you have the easiest water glass to remember

that naughty comment 😭

pls that very polite chuckling around the table

love that they switch from ivy putting the fakes down to carmen doing it. makes. more sense

YEAH OKAY IF THEYRE DOING ONE SWAP A MINUTE THE DINNER PARTY BLOWS THROUGH EVERY COURSE IN LIKE 20 MINUTES OR LESS

also the shape of the vermeer room changes??

cleo glares at her champagne thats so funny

JUST. I KNOW EVERYONE IN THE FANDOM HAS SAID IT BUT JUST SAY YOURE ALLERGIC

they were so wrong for that closeup of dash's lips

ooomg so suspiscious...someone has a different taste than urs??? what the fuck augh

dash is saying the word puke but im staring at his eye makeup its so good. look at that eyeliner and mascara

cleo the worst hostess ever doesn't tell her guest to stop when he looks like he's about to vomit

THE CRIMINAL IN YOUR MIDST LINE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM CRYING THE DEADPAN STARES

the meat cleaver contrasted with the rolling pin

ZACK AIMED RIGHT AT DASH'S FACE SJKFDSSGH

something about how silent that button was is so satisfying

acme has blue gas, vile has green gas, damn carmen needs something

also love how they had the masks at the ready. nice. i wonder what it would have done. knock out or more sinister?

WAIT I NEVER NOTICED DEVINEAUX SKIDDING ON THE ICE AS HE RUNS OUT HAHAHA

yes i believe the phrase is actually implying that two MUST dance that tango

duke of vermeer bad ending: chase gets mauled by dogs <3

love how chase went: hm yes. the woman who just stole 34 paintings is probably on that snowmobile, which has no cargo

lmaoo the calling card

scarlet ski demon

IVY IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IN THIS BIT IM SO IN LOVE WITH HER SHGJHSGHSGDK

RED BRINGS OUT MY EYES AND COATS ARE WARM

at least she sort of offhandedly told him he nailed the role but thats literally the only praise he gets this episode

THE SHOT JUMPING TO THE CHATEAU BEING BURNT TO THE GROUND IS SOOO FUCKING COOL

chief is so disappointed wheeze

i wonder if this case is especially aggravating to chief, considering the last time she watched a vile member's property go up in flames was dexter's house

carmen's already gotten around the world with those puppies

i thought the public wasn't supposed to know that vermeers were even gone hgdashgdsgh

i would have killed for a s4 moment where julia was like "ah your allies! a pleasure to meet you! is the duchess still among you" and everyone just kind of is like. whos gonna tell her

transition sentence <3

this is set up so much like a weekly release show its hard to believe its a netflix exclusive. that cliffhanger with grey is such a week-to-theorize thing

SHADES OF GREY. LIKE. GRAY. GRAY HAM CRACKER?

GET IT

anyways aur naur its crackle

okay yeah. solid episode, not my favorite, some shining moments just like i started with. sweet! sorry its so late anddddd see you next week for the opera in the crikeycore caper

[mariaace]

HOW ABOUT A SUNA VERSION OF THE SHY READER???? PLSSSS

A/n: y'all liked the shy!reader😭 i am so happy. I can't tell if that's the same annon or not, but either way i hope you like this<3

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Okay where do i start with him??? Honestly idk

Suna with a shy person can you imagine 😱

For you two to meet will probably be because you two are in the same class and he stares at you quietly during classes. When Atsumi and Osamu walk with him to go the gym for training they will see him looking at you while you are going home and will be like👁️👄👁️. The second they understand he likes you they rush to you like "HII-i mean helllooooo!! What's your name??" And poor you standing there like 😳. Suna knows you're shy and will literally drag them away from you. And of course Atsumi will be like "but i want to know the name of the girl you like!!" And oop you heard.

The next day before class starts he'll come and apologise to you for what happens. You. You like him too, but he doesn't say anything about the whole "crush" thing, simply because he doesn't know you heard. So now it's your turn. Yep that's gonna be hard, but you somehow manage to ask him about it and he confirms he likes you and boom. Y'all were together. (Atsumi here to save the day)

When you two start dating he wouldn't tell the team right after he'll wait a bit, because he knows what gonna happen. But eventually Osamu sees him walking you to class holding your hand and bam the training is wild. They want answers they want to know you. Especially the twins even though Kita would probably like that too. Suna will give you time to do that though.

Suna is the type of person to always take photos of you and post you everywhere. If you are insecure about how you like he'll look at you like 🤨🤨 like wdym you think you look bad??? You look like a goddess to him??

He'll ask you to come to hid training to watch him (is the idiots get girlfriends y'all be besties) and he makes sure to be the first to come to tou after it.

The "I'll order for you when you are too shy to do so" typa guy>>>

His hand will most likely be around your waist when you two are walking somewhere.

Matching phone cases with him>>

( it's kinda out of the request, but i had to say it)

© mariaace 2024 do not modify, plagiarize, copy or claim any of my works!

[crumb]

Was not prepared for that Jeffrey Combs video... Staring at my phone like (👁️👄👁️) while I watch it on a loop...

Honestly same 😭 the sound he makes is so… 🥵

[lois-carroline]

When you call Jake by your Ex name

One-shot Jake X MC

      Hey guys! I am bored to death during this holiday. Not interested in doing anything 👁️👄👁️ But now I am here with another One-shot!

         Well and Guys I guess the title is too lengthy, so after reading give me a good title ;)

_________________________________

MC P.O.V:

          I woke up as the sun hits my face through the window. I turned to another side and pulled my bedsheet over me covering me fully.

         "MC, Aren't you gonna wake up? It is 10:30 a.m" I heard a voice. I slowly opened my eyes only to see a guy staring at me with his laptop on his lap sitting on the chair.

          It is none other than Jake.

          A smile crept on my face. "Good morning," I said in my morning voice. "Morning," he greeted.

         "Get up, take a shower. Your breakfast is on the table," he said as he went to his laptop again.

          I got down from the comfy bed and went to take a shower. After that, I ate my breakfast.

         I opened the fridge to drink some cold water. I noticed there are no groceries left. I sighed.

          "Jake, I am going to the grocery shop!" I shouted from downstairs so that he could hear me. "Ok! Be careful on the way!" He shouted back.

          I smiled and took my phone from charge and my purse and went out.

_____________________________________

          I was taking some things from the store when someone tapped on my shoulder. I looked back to see my Ex Rik.

          Well, Once I was in love with him but he cheated on me which broke my heart. After that Incident, I was almost in the stage of depression because I truly loved him.

           We used to spend a lot of time together. That time is amazing. But I moved on him after a month and soon then Thomas texted me and everything started.

             "HEY!" He said shaking my shoulders a little bit bringing me back to the present. "MC! I really can't believe it's you! I never thought I will meet you again!" He said smiling.

            "O-oh. Hey," I greeted. "Well, wanna drink some coffee?" He asked. "Uhm..." I dragged while thinking but he held my hand and dragged me to the nearest cafe.

            "How is your life?" He asked. "Very good without you," I gave a mocking smile as I sipped my coffee. He sighed. "I understand. What I did is really unforgivable....but....can you give me another chance?" He asked hesitantly.

            I gave him a WTF look. "Are you crazy?!" I exclaimed. "Yes! I am crazy for you! Because after breaking up with you, I can't do anything properly. I am not happy with Kate. But I was truly happy being with you...so I broke up with her and searched for you but I heard you moved to another place." He confessed.

             Kate is the girl with who he cheats on with.

           "Do you remember? We used to play with bubbles in the garden together. *Chuckle* Then we used to go to the restaurant, watch movies in the theatre, play with dogs, and-" he was reminding me of everything which I forgot after a long time. Those happy moments. But I cut off him

            "I have a boyfriend," I said coldly and got up getting out leaving him dumbfounded.

_____________________________________

           I told Jake about my ex once to Jake while we were chatting. So he knows about Rik.

          I was thinking about my happy moments with Rik which made me chuckle and sad as well.

          I thought about Jake which made me grin like a fool on the road. Now I really love him so much.

________________________________________

Evening 6:44 p.m.

          I was peacefully sleeping until I felt kisses all over my face. I whined a little being disturbed.

          "Wake up *peck* how many times *peck* you gonna *peck* sleep *peck* in a *peck* day? *Peck*"

          "Mmm Rik, stop it!" I said still closing my eyes. 

         My eyes shot open when I realized what I said just now. I saw Jake who was still processing what I said.

          "N-no, J-Jake! Liste-" before I could finish, he went out of the room. I fucked up. "What the heck you did MC!!" I shouted at myself being irritated by myself.

         I went out as quickly as possible. I went to Jake's workplace. "Jake...I am sorry I didn't me-" he cut me off. "If you don't have anything, get out," he said coldly. His sharp words are like a dagger piercing my heart.

         "J-Jake-" My voice cracked. "Get. Out." He said calmly yet coldly. It is hard to handle. "And if you still love your ex and didn't get over him, you can go to him. I am not forcing you to stay in this relationship," He said.

         That's it, I went to him and sat on his lap hugging him from the front. Wrapping my hands around his neck hiding my face in the crook of his neck I started crying.

          He tried pushing me but I tightened my grip. "MC get up!" He said annoyed a bit. "I- I am sor-ry," I cried. "I didn't *hiccup* mean to," I cried badly. "And *hiccup* I- Only love you," I said crying hard.

          "When I went to gro-*hiccup* grocery store, I met with *hiccup* my e-ex. He...he dragged me to drink coffee with him and started talking about our past making me remember our sweet memories. And *hiccup* and he said he still l-loves me and asked me *hiccup* to be his girlfriend again. But I *hiccup* said I have a boyfriend and came o-out," I said while crying and hiccuping badly.

          But still Jake didn't wrap his hands around me clearly showing that he is still angry. "Don't leave me. I really got over him *hiccup* I don't love him anymore and I only love you right now more than I used to *hiccup* love him,"

          "I am really sorry, I didn't mean to say his name." I cried but still, I can't feel his arms around me which made me cry more. Because he didn't forgive me yet.

           I tightened my grip more and pressed my body against him leaving no space between us not even air can travel through.

           "Ja-ke, please forgive me," I cried hard. I felt his hand slowly rocking my back making me calm. Soon he lifted me like a koala and went to our room.

           He placed me on the bed gently and looked at my red puffy eyes which still had tears. He didn't speak a word yet which hurts me. He slowly wiped my tears using his thumbs only to get replaced by new tears.

            I looked at him with my blurry eyes. He wiped my tears again. He made me drink some water when I hiccuped lightly.

            I looked at him and asked softly "Did you really forgive me?" He just hummed in response which made me feel like he didn't.

           My eyes filled with tears again and he noticed it. "Aren't you gonna stop crying?" He asked softly while wiping my tears again. I cried again. I just can't control my tears from flowing.

           "Look at your eyes and nose, it is red!" He said with a chuckle and pinched my nose. I chuckled while my tears did their job.

           "Alright, let me order something for dinner, and let's watch a movie, hmm?" He said as he caressed my hair and pecked me on the cheeks before going out to get his phone.

             He came back and we started watching a movie randomly. He held me close to him and I hugged him so tight as if I leave him I will die.

             "I love you," I said and snuggled in his chest. He chuckled. "I love you more," he said and kissed the top of my head.

             I looked up at him and he looked down to see me. "Here, kiss me here," I said pointing to my lips. He smiled and pecked my lips continuously.

             "Enough? *Peck* enough? *peck* enough? *Peck*" he asked while pecking. "no. Not enough," I said.

             "Not enough?!" He exclaimed and started tickling me. I started laughing so bad. "Not enough huh? Now?" He asked as he continued making my stomach hurt from laughing.

             "AH- AHH, JAKE! STO- STOP IT! My stomach hurts," I exclaimed trying to stop him. Soon he got tired and lay beside me. We both are panting heavily.

             "Want more?" He asked in a teasing way. "No!" I replied quickly. He chuckled then we heard a doorbell sound. "Lemme get our dinner," he said and got up to receive the person.

              He came back with a paper bag. He opened it and it is his favorite Chinese food which also became my favorite.

              We enjoyed our food while watching the movie.

___________________________________

A/n:

     Hope you guys liked it ;) AND! don't forget to comment on a good title for this guys!!

[suiana]

thanks bae ily 😭😭 you’re so nice idk what to do w myself sometimes and i just stare at my phone like 👁️👄👁️

I just try my best to make sure my friends feel good :D

[eviltiddyproductions]

Vincenzo : Episode 10

lmao I saw one gif set of someone who probably loved the junior CEO brother actor and thought he had a redemption arc coming. Booooo!!!! he’s as evil as his brother 😭🙏

ooops did Vince kill someone where a child was present?

you don’t always have to be tough, you can cry you know!

plus considering they probably know or find out about his identity soon there’s going to be a whole new angle added

that cider bottle was so random 😭

I love how when our man is having his epic slow mo walk with the music on, there is a sign on a building that simply says Beer Work

Wunsung lawyer just get a passport with your family and dip lmao they will actually kill you 😭 like just go. you haven’t even done much, it’ll be sad to die for no reason at all

damn is Vincenzo going to be arrested soon 🤨

stay alive and be mindful Mr. Cho I’m so serious

Oh lord…. why is he going after the temple

not them looking this good just chilling

the adorable falling asleep across the table (it might be a common trope but I’m seeing this after so long! last I saw this was in Mr. Queen) I adore it !!!

my man’s just staring at her like 👁️👄👁️

their bodies are going to be SO sore

building people and local gangster stay alive

Hello Vincenzo 😭 he’s probably the only goon in TV history to learn quick. got one beating was like I’m never fucking with this man again

we’re just 10 episodes in and so many of you can die !!! I love y’all’s spirit though but STAY ALIVE LOVES

noooo they made him a pigeon 💀🤣

their masks are actually so funny. lady liberty is still lady liberty 🗽

honestly the only person who I’d believe would get offended by these puppets is the little brother 💀 don’t know what else will work but slay!

them sitting so close to glass when bad guys with guns exist gives me ✨anxiety✨

how can y’all have such a slow reaction to a bomb, little brother fire your security 💀

not the villain group chat

Mr Nam isn’t the only slow one here! I also just figured out what the C stood for. In my defence it’s 6 am

I feel like at some point they are going to use the he adores these building people and our girl and Mr Nam as points to torture him.

Girl one of you gotta figure out how your technically dumb intern became a partner !!! like let’s start thinking 🧠

my local gang man deadass called a group of killers idols LMAOOO

no why is this man always getting punched 😭

SLAY OLD TAILOR MAN SLAYYY!!!! the audacity of this gang

EVERYBODY you’re in the wrong car with the wrong man

oh he actually drove them to the right place

Vincenzo picking up his hand to hug and all I can remember is the last hug ended with the group dying. she won’t though god bless 🙏

let’s get to this REAL EVIL CEO MAN though !!! is he mad about the hug or Vincenzo being alive 💀

was the name just written on that person’s phone or did he recognise the number? I will never know

thank god kdramas don’t have mid season breaks, imagine stopping your season here 💀

[poopman14]

two weird roommates who share a room together invite a coworker over to couch surf one night, the coworker isnt really feeling it but is desperate. at work the two roommates talk about their mouse problem and how just a lot of weird shit has been happening to them but the excuse are getting ridiculous like, "the mouse took my glasses!" "why would a rat take your glasses?" "you have to believe me!" and the manager is getting mad because they're late to like all of their shift lately and already weird. they act like weird twins and just stay to themselves but they overhear their coworker talking to a peer about needing a place to stay so theyre like: 👁️👄👁️ you can stay at our place henry (they speak in unison sometimes) and harry is like: absolutely the fuck not, also you have a rat problem

their like: no man its not even a huge deal , yeah man come stay etc etc. so harry says yes and then that night he goes to the apt and its like mostly okay but he notices the apt is a one bedroom and they are two grown amab people and he is like: wow i wonder if they're gay... but essentially they have dinner and a couple beers and hear some weird noises in the walls and just mouse noises (whatever noise a mouse makes) and they're like: god that mouse is so annoying , just all day this is all it is and then getting into shit

and so whatever they're about to sleep and they pull out the couch for harry and both roommates go into their shared bedroom and harry wonders whats gayer, a bunk bed or a full sized bed that they share ( he says out loud)

and so he turns off the light and can kinda hear the rat just making noises in the wall but he just ignores it and is on his phone, he then sees a HUGE shadow RUN into the kitchen like hunched? and so he turns on a light and goes into the kitchen and doesnt see anything and just decides hes been on his phone too much and turns off the light and goes to lay on the couch and turn into the couch and after awhile he gets this weird feeling and turns to the living room and sees a guy just like going through his bag and he starts yelling and tackles him

and so the roommates leave their bedroom (they are wearing matching pjs???) and is like: OMG WHATS GOING ON???

harry: THIS GUY BROKE IN AND IS GOING THROUGH MY SHIT DUDE

guy who lives in walls *pinned down but looks very annoyed*: um i didnt break in

roommate 1: what do you mean you didnt break in?

guy who lives in walls: uhhh, i literally live in the walls *rolls his eyes and clears throat to harry* will you get up?

harry *literally in shock but sputters* DUDE WHAT- NO YOU JUST TRIED TO GO THROUGH MY SHIT AND YOU LIVE IN THE WALLS OR SOMETHING?? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

guy who lives in walls: i was looking for something cute but i can see why your ex broke up with you, who owns 8 star wars shirts? *harry, embarrassed gets up and huffs and stands there folding his arms* ALSO yes i literally live in the walls, its really not even that deep yall are dramatic *he gets up and brushes off his pants*

roommate 2: are... are those my pants?

guy who lives in walls:

roommate 1: thats my shirt!

harry is literally just staring at him and them and cannot believe what is going on

the pair™️: OUR GLASSES!!!

harry and the guy who lives in the walls: what

roommate 1 (top): yeah me and them share glasses cause it just saves money *roommate 2 (bottom) nods aggressively*

harry: how is that saving money? do you guys even have the same prescription?

roommate 2: no, but if one of us just takes the eye exam the other ones eyes will adjust eventually *roommate 1 nods aggressively*

guy who lives in the walls leans to harry and whispers audibly while harry is literally blinking trying to understand what is happening: yeah they literally ALWAYS act like that

harry: PLEASE GET AWAY YOU LITERALLY ARE LIVING IN SOMEONES WALLS AND STEALING THEIR CLOTHES YOURE JUST AS WEIRD AND MEAN! *is pained over his 8 star wars t shirts*

roommate 1: how long have you even lived in the walls anyway?

guy who lives in the walls: probably the 5th of september at 12:32pm. *he is scowling and stares at the roommates with disgust*

harry: that is too specific, why would you say it like that, and not a month ago

guy who lives in the walls: UM you are not the one being accused of being a fucking RAT??? imagine being called ugly, fat, and disgusting like every day

harry: YOU LITERALLY LIVE IN THE WALLS

guy who lives in the walls: its new york sweetheart, i pay my rent like EVERYONE else, also you are literally couch surfing so you should reflect on your situation before coming at ME! *he huffs, rolls his eyes, and sits on the end chair and gets on his phone, over it*

the roommates are just standing around thinking until roommate 2 speaks up: you know, it kind of makes sense

harry: HOW DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE? *he motions to them and then to guy living in walls* THERES A GROWN MAN LIVING IN YOUR WALLS, YOU TWO ARE WEARING MATCHING PJs, AND YOU SHARE ONE ROOM AT 26??? THERES NOTHING NORMAL ABOUT THIS, DOES NO ONE HAVE QUESTIONS?

harry is clearly distraught and literally heaving and sweating. roommate 2 speaks up after a couple moments: ...whose been eating our clothes?

guy who lives in the walls twiddles his fingers in the air from his phone and smiles: yep thats me babe! :)

roommate 1: and nibbling holes into our malt o meal boxes?

guy who lives in the walls: yep!

harry: WHO EVEN EATS MALT O MEAL IN 2023

roommate 2: and leaving small pieces of poop around in weird places that arent humanly possible?

they all look at guy who lives in the walls, who looks shocked and offended: I pay rent like everyone else, also the bathroom is in the bedroom and you guys just do weird shit

*harry has dream montage of him walking in and seeing them with no bed, just standing there staring at each other and holding onto each others arms and speaking in tongues*

guy who lives in walls shudders. harry is still in disbelief and is staring at the roommates: how are you not seeing a full GROWN MAN scurrying around the fucking apartment????

they shrug and roommate 1 sheepishly looks down: when we dont have our glasses its hard to see, so we just thought it was a big rat 😍 idk

harry:

harry:

harry: SO YOUVE SEEN HIM? THIS WHOLE TIME YOUVE SEEN A GROWN MAN COMING OUT FROM THE WALL AND DOING THIS AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A RAT? WHAT FUCKING RAT IS 6FT TALL-

roommmate 2: in our defense he was HUNCHED and SCURRYING

harry: ITS A MAN, HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE ANY HAIR, HE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING TWINK

guy who lives in the walls: um im a top for your information

they turn to him at once and speak in unison: no *they turn back*

harry at this point is tired and sits on the couch and at this point isnt even suprised but curious: who are you even paying rent to?

guy who lives in the walls: the same people they pay, obvi

harry doesnt even ask and throws his hands up: literally i dont even know why i asked, this has been so fucking weird like-

guy who lives in the walls: yeah you're telling me, theyve been calling me a rat for like a month and still having gay sex in the kitchen when im just trying to get some malt o meal *he laughs and looks at harry like "you know what i mean?" harry looks at him like he has no skin on and shakes the entire thought from his head while the roommates are yelling about how "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU" and "YOU SICK BASTARD" roommate 2 is ashamed and covering their parts over their pjs

harry: i cant believe i agreed to come here

guy who lives in the wall stands: welp, its been real, its been fun, but it wasnt real fun :/. *he slaps harry on the shoulder and turns to walk past the roommate to a random part of the wall* i have a grindr date coming over in 30 so i need to get ready, but im glad we all had a lil bitch sess and got it all out! 😃 *points to harry before turning to the wall* also if you ever want a gf again, dont ever wear a stars wars shirt again!

guy who lives in the walls proceeds to rams into the wall so hard that it breaks and he just walks into all the piping and leaves covered in plaster

they are all staring and harry is crying into his hands

harry: i- i cant even say anything else

roommate 1: i was wondering how he was getting in.. and that weird hole in the bedroom...

roommate 2: i forgot to ask for the glasses...