#i was sick all weekend and then had a social event today so i'm pretty proud of myself for this actually

[gravitywonagain]

6.8k words in ch 20! it's slow going, but it's going :)

[sheliesshattered]

Dragon Con 2023 Retrospective

We've been home from Dragon Con for two weeks as of today -- but we've spent most of that time recovering from a particularly nasty Con Crud™. I tested negative for covid, but Jack tested positive and we had the same symptoms, so eh I figure I finally actually caught it, after several rounds of head colds that tested negative.

I always get some level of Con Crud and/or spoonie post-event exhaustion, so I was prepared to feel pretty awful for a week or two at least. The fever and sinus headache was a bit novel this year, but as I'm getting over this infection I'm actually feeling okay-ish. Hopefully my energy will continue to return over the next few weeks (I've got a big day of walking planned for the end of October!) but otherwise I might actually be feeling better now than I have two weeks post Dragon Con (or post Wasteland Weekend) in previous years.

And unlike previous years, I got through the whole con and the trip home without feeling sick at all. A little dehydrated at times (the wait for airport security at ATL was the worst honestly), and my body taking the trouble to remind me how much stretching in the evening helps me, but nothing worse than that.

I've had Dragon Cons in past years when I was too wiped out to even leave the hotel room by Sunday evening, but this year I spent Sunday evening standing around and socializing at the Doctor Who Ball, and didn't hate myself for it later. A combination of being in better physical condition now in general, and pacing myself (and Jack needing to pace too), and staying on top of vitamins and electrolytes and water all really seemed to help.

We got home on the Monday of Labor Day weekend, and then Tuesday morning I was feeling well enough to go grocery shopping on my own and make corn chowder from scratch when I got back. I was tired, but not too bad, honestly. Buuut by that evening I had a sore throat, then by Wednesday morning both Jack and I woke up with a fever. The rest of the week continued more or less like that, with a lot of lying around on the couch and watching movies and tv shows, lol.

Despite feeling like death, we did spend some time talking about what went well at Dragon Con 2023, what we'd want to do again and what we'd want to do differently. I really enjoyed the House of the Dragon photo meetup on Saturday, and wearing my Rhaenyra cosplay in general. I even ended up wishing that I'd carved out time to go to the Game of Thrones/ASOIAF photo meetup in the same costume, just to have more time in that dress and hanging out with that fandom.

There's something that I really enjoy about working hard for months on end to make something screen-accurate from a fandom that is active but also fairly focused. I recognized every costume worn at the HotD meetup, knew which character wore it in which episode, etc. Everyone I talked with at that meetup knew exactly which dress I was wearing, which character I was, and noticed the details I spent so much time working on -- just as I did theirs. There's a wonderful camaraderie and bonding in appreciating each other's hard work to achieve screen accurate reproductions of well-known and visually compelling costumes.

Between that meetup and late night drinking shenanigans while wearing my Rhaenyra cosplay, I really felt like I achieved my peak Dragon Con experience this year while wearing that costume.

By contrast, while I did have fun wearing my Harley Quinn Taylor Swift mashup cosplay, I didn't have nearly as much fun as I did as Rhaenyra. I got some nice compliments from complete strangers who saw the shirt and got the mashup concept, and I had one funny in-character interaction with a Joker cosplayer, but by the evening I was ready to switch back to being Rhaenyra.

The Harley mashup was clever, but not people-stopping-to-take-pictures clever, and honestly there are just a lot of Harleys running around the con. And her canon is a lot more scattered than HotD/GoT canon, and costumes are much more commercially available, so there wasn't nearly the same level of bonding over hand-making the costumes.

The Swifties meetup was fun, and exchanging the beaded friendship bracelets I made was a good experience -- but honestly I had more fun handing out the few Rhaenyra ones I made than I did exchanging the Swiftie ones. I don't regret making the Harley Quinn Taylor Swift mashup, but it did really help clarify my priorities for future Dragon Cons.

So Harley Quinn was fun, but won't be repeated, I don't think. But because I'd worn Rhaenyra's red dress so late into the evening on Friday, I hadn't had a chance to wear my punk!Rhaenyra original concept yet, so on Saturday night when I wanted to switch back to Rhaenyra for awhile, I got to break that one out for late night parties and shenanigans (and also Dairy Queen).

Sunday was lower-key by comparison. Quite a few Doctor Who cosplayers looked right at my Oswin and didn't seem to recognize it, which seems to be par for the course for mainstream Whovians when it comes to Clara's era. That said, just when I was starting to get snarky about that (quietly, only to Jack), a Sixth Doctor cosplayer complimented my Oswin, which made the whole thing feel worth it.

And then when I switched to my MOTOE Clara cosplay for the evening hours, there were a few more people who clearly recognized the costume -- including one woman who gasped and yelled 'Clara!!' at me as we were passing each other in heavy Marriott crowds. I didn't get a chance to do more than gasp in surprise at her excitement, but the cycling of the Marriott crowd being what it is, we eventually passed each other again, and I ran off through the crowd to catch her that time. We chatted for a bit and I gave her the beaded bracelet reading 'Don't Stop Me Now' that I made for exactly that situation, lol. We ended up hanging out at the Doctor Who Ball, but her excitement over the MOTOE cosplay really made my night.

The Doctor Who Ball had a costume contest (that wasn't real well organized, but sounds like it will be a more official thing in future years, because it was such a popular event) that I entered on a lark. The announcement of the winners in particular wasn't well done, I missed it completely because I was talking with people, but I went and asked afterwards and found out that I'd done well and (according to the woman running the contest, who immediately asked to take a picture with me) apparently I only lost the Companion category to a Wilf cosplayer who was spot-on, and tugging on everyone's heartstrings. I don't know how close the vote really was, but her enthusiasm for my cosplay felt like such a gift.

I haven't felt like going to GallifreyOne in recent years, since I've felt so much on the outside of the Doctor Who fandom (between the hate focused on Clara's era and my own dislike of the most recent era), but the Doctor Who Ball was a great time to talk with like-minded Whovians, and to remember why I love this corner of the fandom in general.

I think MOTOE Clara will probably make an appearance at future Dragon Cons, and Oswin met the original purpose of being a comfortable easy-to-wear cosplay for during the day, so in all likelihood that one will come back too (after just a little bit of repair work on the belt).

The red silk Rhaenyra gown held up well, much better than I feared it would. I maaay need to handwash it, but I washed the fabric with shampoo before I sewed it, so theoretically it can be handwashed again, if it really needs it. I need to replace the shoes, but that's already in progress. At this point I'm planning to bring Rhaenyra's Red Dress back to Dragon Con 2024 (and maybe even to something else in between, like Wonder Con?). Quite possibly punk!Rhaenyra too.

I think season 2 of HotD will air before next Dragon Con, or at least start before the end of August. There's every possibility that there will be new costumes from s2 that I'll want to make -- but either way, I know now that I want to lean into cosplay from fandoms like HotD/GoT, and focus less on fandoms like Harley Quinn.

I've already started thinking about and planning cosplays for next year, but this is already way too long, so I'll post an update about that tomorrow...

[timeoverload]

This weekend hasn't been very eventful. I spent all day Friday and yesterday just trying to feel better. It's a little ridiculous that I get that bad but I don't know what to do about it. I am tired of resting. I think my withdrawal symptoms are finally starting to go away and I think that was part of the reason I felt worse than usual. I am feeling pretty good today surprisingly.

I finally went to see my grandma earlier this afternoon. I feel shitty because it has taken me so long to get over there to see her. The past month has just been a nightmare for me physically and emotionally. I wasn't trying to be selfish but I wasn't in a good place to be too social either. I know she was trying to get moved too. I spent 3 hours over there and I'm going to try to go there more often. It is nice to spend time with someone that wants to see me and invites me over. Her new place is pretty cute and it isn't too far away. We just sat and talked. She seems very happy and is doing better than I thought. She did tell me she fell 2 days ago so I'm worried about her. She needs to have a caregiver because she refuses to go to a nursing home and I understand that. I don't want her to feel so alone all the time. I have been trying to call her more but I know that's not the same. It was nice to see her socializing with some other people when I left.

She is definitely living in a much better place now. She was telling me about how bad my aunt treated her. My aunt lived right down the street from my grandma before she moved back here. My aunt didn't go to visit her and was very mean to her when she had to help her with anything. She was abusive. She told my grandma that she wasn't coming back to see her because looking at her face made her sick. I don't know why she would say that to her own mother when she has done nothing but be kind and giving to everyone her entire life. My grandma moved on a day that my aunt had to work so she wouldn't know that she was leaving. I don't think my aunt has even noticed. She has something wrong with her mentally and I think she might have a condition similar to what my mom has. I don't think she is quite as bad because she can still function. Her daughters are also very rude and didn't show any emotion the last time I saw them. They wouldn't talk to us. I don't really have a good relationship with any of my cousins unfortunately but they all live far away now too. Anyway, I feel really bad that my grandma had to deal with my aunt treating her that way.

I hope that my brother and sister will go see her more often too because she needs more family in her life. I know my brother helped her unpack some of her stuff so that was nice of him. She really appreciates his help and enjoys spending time with him. I don't know if she has seen my sister yet. I think it would be good for my sister to spend more time with my grandma since she has never had a mother figure in her life and my mom set a horrible example.

I haven't heard anything from my mom. I am worried about her but there's nothing I can do. I wish she was nicer to me. I wish I could stop thinking about her.

I think I need to stop thinking about bad things. Unfortunately, my grandma likes to talk about a lot of negative topics so it brings me down sometimes. I am hoping that her mental health will improve if I spend more time with her and maybe she will have more positive things to say. She is just depressed and I understand. I know it would be good for me to continue to spend time with her so that I'm not so lonely either.

I need to focus on preparing myself for the week now I suppose. I haven't been eating very well this weekend and I have eaten a lot of ramen noodles. I stopped and got cheeseburgers and fries again on my way home so I'm full now. I could use a nap but it's too late for me to take one. I will probably just go to bed early. I think I am going to try to relax the rest of the night. I don't have much else to talk about. Hopefully this week isn't too busy. I am going to do my best to be in a good mood tomorrow.

I hope everyone else has a good week too!!! 💖💖💖

[childofsolace-write-ups]

Arc 01: REUNION

::THOMAS::

"What do you think sunlight feels like?"

I look up and see Nina coming through the right hand tunnel entrance, not even saying hello first. That usually means she was deep in thought on her way here again.

"I really don't remember." I tell her, setting down the book I'd been pretending to read.

It was something about the new things they expected to be able to do with machines. I didn't really have a reason to be fond of those stupid things. It's not exactly a picnic, depending on the machines for everyday living. It'd be awfully hard to breathe underground without them, for one thing. And—insert sarcastic tone here—how on earth would ordinary people survive without fucking reading lights. Seriously, with the number of issues that needs addressing, they give us extra lighting in bunkers, of all things?

Personally, I'd rather take my chances with whatever's up there on ground level. If Trey, Kytes, and the others survived...

That's kinda the thing, though. After all these years, I have no way of knowing if they DID survive or WHAT they survived as. The atmosphere was said to do awfully strange things to ordinary people. I miss my little brother, though. And I hope Trey was doing okay, too. He was my best friend growing up after all.

"Do you?"

Nina clicks on the kitchen lamp. It's pretty cramped up in our compartment bunker, so she'd probably do fine with the little reading light I'm using but she looks at it for a moment and sighed. "It's been too long," she says. "I wonder if they even still have sunlight up there. You know, considering all that's happened."

"Oh, they probably do."

I click off the reading light. No need to be careless with the energy we had. No matter how much they wanted us to believe the machines supplied boundless electricity. I couldn't, not with the reason they sent away Kytes and Trey with a whole bunch of other orphans being the worry for lack of resources. Not with Nina working there everyday. We depended on qualified individuals now for our energy supply. As in, people. Humans, to produce energy, if that makes sense as if they were hamsters running repeatedly in wheels for a Science project. It makes me feel queasy just thinking about it. I don't know how Nina can let them. She's a lot braver than I could be, that's for sure. Maybe a lot more reckless, too. Well, Trey was her brother.

He rubbed off on her...

Then again, I haven't even seen the guy the last eight years, so how would I know that? Nina was all I really had left in memory of him and my own brother. You died younger down here than you would when people lived above when it was still up there. Both Nina's parents are gone, mine died in a fire accident years before the radiation up there first hit. My Uncle, who made it possible for me and my brother to still live here whenever they had to send out orphans, died a year after I turned thirteen. Then, in one Release before I turned thirteen, my brother opted to take Nina's place instead because she's been sick that time and she wouldn't have lasted an hour up there even with Trey's help, who had just been ten then. But I never held it against Trey or resent Nina. We knew each other even before all this, Trey was my best friend just as long as Nina was Kytes's. And I would've done the same if it had been Trey.

Although, I laugh at the idea of Kytes staying down here with him. It might be him who had to watch over the damn lummox.

Now with Nina's parents gone and my Uncle passing away, I was old enough to stand as her guardian until she turned thirteen herself next week. Not that it mattered cause she won't be moving out and I'm not kicking her out either. But on the event I died after her birthday, she wouldn't have to be sent away. So now we shared a cramped compartment on a fairly low level, which was good. The lower you are, the farther you are from the dangers of Ground level.

Level 01 had some data gathering stations for researches and old residence cells. They were Orphanages every now and then, until those who weren't adopted were sent out anyway, the cells were used for residence bunkers to the Poor class.

Level 02 to 30 had the residence cells according to social status of the Middle-class. Point blunt.

Level 31 to 35 had the commerce centers, radio stations and whatever establishments that had existed back and is possible to continue down here. There are movie halls, too, but obviously no one makes movies anymore. We watched the films that was brought down here with us during the evacuation. Before I thought it was pretty cool, now I think of how stupid it is. Of all the other important things they could have brought down, they settled for movies. Anyway, those levels are what you can consider the central city, if you can call it that since there are hardly any Skyscrapers anymore. Not that they would've fit down here, anyway.

Level 35 to 49 have residence cells for Elites and Government officials, the Councillors and the Techs with their family, if any. Since Nina is a Machine tech, we are privileged to be in Level 35.

The better people, the Councillors, get Level 37 to 49 according to importance of Office.

I don't really know what Level 50 holds, which is the lowest of the low. But some rumors I heard assumes it's a laboratory of sorts. Still, while we have it good as much as we could down here, I wonder about life in the surface.

"What makes you think so?" Nina snaps me back to reality. That perceptive brown-eyed gaze on me, a startling sense of knowing. "For all we know, it's getting worse up there. There's no way of knowing."

I snort. "No one bothers to check. Even if they did, there's no report. For all we know," I mimick her tone. "everything's back to normal, like in the Disney movie with the Garbage Robot going to outer space. We'd never know it, down here. They think we've got everything but it's all stupid..."

"Thomas," she studies me for a moment. "Are you still planning to go up there?"

"Soon."

I say the same thing everyday, but when have I ever acted on my words? I'm caught in a cycle just like every other moron in this stupid Underground settlement. And I know I'm still afraid to see how much things changed up there even as I'm dying to know at the same time.

"I want to see my brother," I continue. "How he and Trey are doing... If they're still alive, that is."

"Do you think they're still alive?" Nina asks, as if we don't talk about this everyday. Like she expects a different answer or something. It's been years and she still asks. "Well, do you?"

I can't give it to her though, "I don't know, maybe." The first few times she cried. Now, she simply nods.

"When are we going?"

I sigh at her persistence. It's not like it was easy, we can't just walk straight to the guards by the exit of the city and say, Hey we're leaving this dump so later losers! Without being questioned.

"Whenever it seems like a good time."

Naturally, I say this every time she asks. I think she's starting to think that it will never be a good time. I've begun to wonder about that myself. Actually, I want to go and see my brother. I want to go and see Nina's brother. It's tough finding a friend like him. Only Trey's been able to break down the walls I built ever since mom and dad died. He made me play soccer, even when I was never into sports. We'd go wild in the service tunnels, I break a lady's vase and we're both in trouble. Him at the Orphanage and me with my Uncle. But those were the good old days. I want to get back living above the ground, breathing for myself, instead of relying on machines to help me do it and rotting away in a metal cave some thirty feet or so below it. But thinking about something and actually doing it are two different matters.

Nina tilts her head then surprises me a bit by breaking our odd little mantra. Instead of agreeing and starting lunch, she asks a new question. "Thomas, do you think we could leave before the week is up?"

I stare at her in wonder. "Well, sure thing!" I mock-enthuse, "Let me call the guys at the Radio station to reschedule my shift this week. Oh. And have someone replace me as Head Chef for the Wedding Catering next month."

"Thomas," Nina pouts. "I'm being serious."

I'm still surprised but now also curious. "Why the sudden eagerness?"

"I met this girl in work today. Her name was Lindsay Caghan. Do you know her?"

I shake my head. I've never heard the name. But then, that doesn't mean a thing. I use my name when Live on air during Radio broadcasts so there could be a bunch of people who know me without me returning the favor.

"Well, she knows you. She knows you work at the station three days a week and as a chef during the Weekends." Now that's something. I usually stay at the kitchen so no one would guess I'm a Chef but my co-workers. I don't even have lots of friends anymore to be told about to others. Nina sinks slowly into the couch beside me. It was also my bed since I've offered the real bed to her. "I didn't say a word, Thomas. I don't know how she knows, but she does. And that's not the half of it. She knows our desire to leave."

Well, I wouldn't really call it a desire. "So?" I raise a brow. "What can she do? It's not like they'd actually care if we left. They'd be glad for the extra space."

"She doesn't want to stop us, Thomas." Nina explains, halting my instinctive string of defensive cynical arguments. "Far from it actually."

"Then what does she want?"

"You won't like it."

Oh jeez, I had to laugh at that. "There's a lot of things I don't like," I remind her. "I don't like these metal cages they call homes, I don't like those machines that use people as energy sources. And I definitely don't like how they sent our brothers and a whole group of other orphans yearly to the surface as a solution to minimizing shortages and leaving them to deal with whatever dangers the surface has to offer." I threw my arm behind her, mostly to stretch than anything else. "Now tell me, what else am I adding to this very long list?"

"All right," Nina smiles a little. "Lindsay brought up the subject in private. And she had a request for you. There's someone she wants us to take up to the surface when we go."

I stare at her for a second, wondering if she was joking. The expression on her face tells me she's not. "No way, nope. No." I say. I haven't even fully decided whether I, myself, wanted to go. I'm not all for including others. Before long, we'd have a whole army with us. "I do not like that one bit."

Nina rolls her eyes. "I expected as much." She sighs. "I'm not certain who she wants to send with us, but she seemed fairly urgent about it." She tells me, a strange look on her face. She looks like that whenever she's truly serious about something. That can't be good for me. Then there will be no refusing her.

"Urgent how?"

"Well," She hesitates. "she seemed nervous. As if what she's planning is something that could get her in trouble. I think we should at least hear her out."

"Nina," I rub my forehead. "you don't think that the person she wants us to take is herself, do you? If she's run into some kind of trouble with the law..." I don't finish that. I'm not a huge fan of the Councillors, but even I'm not cynical enough to get on their bad side so boldly enough to break the law. "you know I'd rather this doesn't turn into an escape propaganda."

Nina shakes her head, looking thoughtful. "No, I think it's bigger than that. I don't think she's doing this for her own safety. I think she's risking her safety and it's making her scared. But she really seems desperate to have us agree."

"I don't know Nina, it doesn't seem like a very good idea, including others." I hope I can make her see where I'm coming from. She's a teenager now, and I know I am too, but I expect the moodiness of a teenage girl to be something too much to handle. And if I give her a no... Well, just because Nina's never thrown a tantrum doesn't mean she couldn't start now. "we could end up with a lot of company and not all of them welcome."

"I don't think so, Thomas. The way she acted, I think this is a private problem. It was like she didn't want anyone else to know. But she seems pretty concerned. If it's illegal, it's illegal in a good way." she looks at me with bright eyes. "Know what I mean?"

I sigh. No, I really don't but what I do know is that there was no talking her out of this. "You mean some kind of Noble act? Like a Holy crusade or..."

"No, but it'd be something humane. Or she wouldn't bother," Nina retorts. "I think we should listen to her. It's probably important."

I groan, holding my hands up in surrender. "All right," I exhale, giving in, because who can function in the face of that kind of persistence?

Women complicated things. Uncle would always say. And he's right.

Nina had already made up her mind and it's futile to get her to give up. She's Trey's sister all right. "Fine. We'll talk to her. Why don't you try and get her to tell you exactly what she wants from us? I'm not making any promises until I know what we're getting into."

"Thank you, Thomas." Nina gives me a soft smile, the kind that gets just about anyone to do whatever she wants. I'm a victim of that countless of times. "I have a feeling that this is the right thing to do."

But not necessarily the smartest, I think to myself. "Great."

Nina shrugs and smothers a yawn. She's tired. But then again, she's always tired now. Working with machines is a strain. I pretend not to see the dark circles under her eyes, but I think it's wearing on her. That's just one more reason to take her away from this place. I know she's strong enough to handle it but I don't want her to have to.

"Make sure you ask the right questions." I remind her. "I don't want this Lindy girl tricking us to agreeing to more than we want. Be careful."

"It's Lindsay." Nina corrects before smiling. "And I have a better idea than that, Thomas." she says. "how would you like it if I arranged it so that you could meet her?"

"... No."

We argue again, even though I know Nina will eventually get her way nevertheless.

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

One Heart, Two Souls.

Chapter 1, Part 2.

“You knew my husband, didn't you?”

“Yes, we were good friends.”

“So you too know my sadness, how much I miss him so?

“...Yes.”

The silence was brief between us. I was so sick of it, who would've thought it would have been a good thing if it continued on? Her hands started shaking. I thought she might be crying, but she looked to me, there were no tears upon her. I was wrong, it was the exact opposite. She giggled before she spoke. No wife currently grieving over a dead spouse giggles.

“You've seen me naked, haven't you?”

She moved closer to me and put her hand on me in a romantic gesture.

“What was your name, sir?”

“A-Auron.”

I was extremely flustered by her advances on me.

“Tell me Auron, did you like what you saw?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I'm grieving, you're grieving, it wouldn't be wrong if we sought comfort from each

other.”

She leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled away.

“I'm sorry, but I can't! You're Jecht's wife dammit! I can't do that to him!”

It was clear she was desperate to fill the void in her heart where her husband's love should be. She moved herself into my lap.

“Please? You're my only salvation. Only you can save me from myself. Misery enjoys company, you know? Besides, I'll make it worth your while. I'll suck your-”

That was it, I didn't even hesitate to get up. Unfortunately, I said something I shouldn't have out of discomfort

How many men have you said that to!-”

I wanted to end the sentence with, “Whore”, but I didn't get a chance to, as I fell backwards. I had slipped on something and hit my head against the wall. My head was bleeding.

Lucky for me though, seeing that, she discarded the comment. She tried to help me, but she was too weak.

I eventually got up on my own. She looked at me real solemnly.

“I'm really sorry.”

Her voice was small and shaky. I played it nice, looked up at her and gave her a hint of a smile. I was preparing to leave as I was probably unwanted at this point.

“I should be going, but I’ll be back in the morning to discuss Jecht's will with you… you should probably get some rest.”

“Yes, thank you for your help today.”

I nodded my head at her.

“You have a good night ma’am.”

“You too.”

I was getting prepared to leave, when I saw Tidus sitting by the door, reading his book.

I bent down and put out my hand to shake it.

“I'm Auron by the way, nice to meet you Tidus.”

The boy looked up at me with discontent, then went back to reading his book.

“Good night.” I had said before walking out the door. He said nothing back. With a quick sigh, I walked out being confident that my place there was finalized. Unwelcome I was. Not like I really was wanted from the start.

I walked all through Zanarkand a good part of the night. I didn't really have anywhere to go. Besides, I had a lot on my mind. I was disgusted with myself. I led Jecht's wife on. It wasn't intentional, but it did happen. Why erupts she do that to him? How could she. It was pretty close to morning when I found a spot in an alleyway to crash out in.

I wanted to sleep, but something about sleeping pin the streets in a busy city was not appealing to me, so I wasn't able to sleep. Lucky for me though, Morning came quickly, and I needed to leave early anyways. I was on the other side of town.

It didn't really help my cause any thinking about the events that played out last night. All I could really do was put it the back of my mind and be there to be professional. Talk business. Nothing more.

I knocked on the door. Tidus answered the door. When I came in, I sat down on the nearest couch.

“Where's your mother?”

“She's asleep. She left very late last night and didn't get back until early in the

morning.”

“When did she leave last night?”

“She left at three a.m. and didn't get back until five. She woke me up to lock the door.”

What was she thinking?

“So, what are you and my mom going to talk about?

“Your father's will.”

“What is a will? The old lady next to us tells mom often of how the other people next door are trying to get on my mom's good side, so they can claim me, get the will, and keep it for themselves.”

Tsk. Vultures.

“I don't like them though, they're mean to me.”

“Don't worry, if things play out right, they won't be a problem, just wait and see.”

“But, what is a will?”

“A will is usually a lump sum of cash you receive when someone dies, that is if you are put on the will. The money is what is left behind in savings that belonged to the deceased. A will could be anything, money, belongings, or sometimes a demand. A demand happens to be your father's case.”

A sad look appeared on his face.

“Why does everyone think mom is going to die?”

“She seems… very sick.”

“Yeah, but she's fine! She's has to be! Sick people eventually get better! She has to as well, right?”

“Yes, but that's not always the case, some people don't get better at all.”

“She's not some people! Mommy will get better, I know she will!”

The boy's face gleamed with an innocent smile at the idea of his confidence. He's just a little angel. At that moment, I didn't just want to guard his life, I wanted to guard his heart.

The conversation was through, when a woman's voice cut into it.

“Tidus!”

I looked to find his mother standing in the entrance of the hallway.

She scowled at him, he reacted by cowering. The poor boy looked like a dough that had just been beaten. My heart melted instantly for him. What did the poor kid do this time? I wondered. She spoke again and in a scolding manner.

“Why didn't you wake me up when he got here?”

“You were sleepy last night mommy, so I didn't want to wake you up.”

“What did I tell you?”

“I'm sorry.”

“We have important things to discuss! I told you to waffle me up when he got here!”

She looked over to me worth a more welcoming stare than her poor son. I looked over to him. He had picked up a book and started reading. With a gesture from his mother, I followed her back to her room.

She had a bunch of papers cluttered on one desk. Out was an old thing and looked Just as fragile as her. The legs looked like they were about to snap under the weight of the desktop if you poked it too hard. A fragile desk for a fragile woman.

“Sorry. I know my room is a mess. You had me really thinking last night, so I made a trip to mine and Tidus’s social worker downtown at three. I didn't make it back till five in three morning. Let me tell you, people don't joke weekend they say,

“Zanarkand never sleeps.” I was surprised to find the office still open and or social worker filling out papers.”

“I heard. You left your son alone?”

“I told him to lock the door, it wasn't the first time I left him alone. Don't worry.”

“I am going to worry because it's dangerous to leave your seven-year old child at home, by himself, at three o'clock in the morning, for two hours! Should I go into the many scenarios of which things could have gone terribly wrong!?

I couldn't help myself. I heads to yell. She was vetoing entirely reckless with her child, not realizing how delicate bee actually was.

“I'm glad you care so deeply for my son as you do.”

“Can we talk about this later? We need to discuss your husband's will.”

“I need you to take custody of my son when my time here is up.”

“Wha-”

“I know this is sudden, I believe you knew my husband well, and you Monday be the only person I can trust. You get my will and this house. Everything you need to take care of him is provided. The only other person I can trust with this task is an old and disabled woman and can't take care of him, and the other people next door only want the money. They will put Tidus in foster care the first chance they get. I know you think I'm a horrible mother, but you have to believe me when I say I really do love my son. I don't want him in the hands of people who don't care about him. You will though, I can tell. You're already attached. So will you take him?”

“... I will take him, that is Jecht's will and I'll fulfill it.”

“Thank you… We should get started, these papers aren't going to fill themselves out.”

We went straight to it. Thirty minutes in, and she began to doze off.

I tried to get her to lay down for a bit, but she refused.

“Really, if you're tired, you should try to sleep.”

“No. These papers need to be finished.”

“We're halfway through, there's no harm in taking a break.”

“But if I lay down, there's no guarantee I'll wake back up either.”

She had a point, in order to become Tidus’s guardian, I had no choice but to fill these papers out.

Some odd minutes past by, and we had finished filling out everything. I was finally able to get Tidus’s mother back to bed. I felt no reason to stay, so I grabbed my sword and started heading towards the door. When I was walking by the kitchen, something caught my eye.

Tidus was trying to reach a box of crackers sitting on the counter, he wasn't quite tall enough to reach them, but he kept trying. It had occurred to me that he hasn't eaten all this time. I searched the cupboards for a plate until I eventually found one. I took the crackers and put them on a plate for him, then rummaged through the freezer box to get the stuff to make him a sandwich.

I made him two sandwiches, one for now, and another for later in case his mom didn't wake up for the rest of the day, or to sick to make him anything. We sat together while he ate.

“Not too shabby” I'd ask.

“Nope!”

His answer was muffled, but his head movements showed approval. After he finished eating, I resumed my departure. I was heading to the door when he ran up behind me and put his arms around me.

“Thank You for the sandwich Auron! Bye!”

I was flustered, I wasn't used to embrace, so out seemed normal of me to react. When my face cleared up, I turned to him and smiled.

“You're welcome, kiddo. See you around.”

I walked out this door, but something was trying to pull me back. It was as if the whole house was going to blow up and be disintegrated with everyone in it if I didn't turn back around.

I left that night, but I felt I had made a big mistake, and at a critical moment too. When I learned of this mistake, I had never been so scared in my life.