#i was happy when i woke up. first thing i saw was drk saying “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU” which is YUUUUUS

[avaetin]

I did no writing today because my emotions were all over the place. OTL

[rei-memberme]

OC: Dori-Mu Nahm

Family and Backstory

Name meaning: Dream Child

Age : 19 DOB: Feb 13, 1999 {Aquarius}

Ethnicity: Korean-Japanese Ht: 5”3 Wt: 150 lbs

Gender: Both? (Male) Sex: Pansexual

Hair: DRK BRWN (almost black) Skin: Pale

Eyes: BRWN Tattoos: Heart where neck and collarbones meet

Yame/Kawaii aesthetic

Moved from Osaka to California

Parents:

Ayumi Nahm

Meaning: “peaceful” Profession: Professor

-Has always been someone safe for Dori despite her husbands ideals, she still helps Dori financially.

Chan-woo Nahm

Firm in masculinity, stubborn in beliefs. Believes that man is not weak. Disappointed in Dori even when he was a child and favors his second son Hyung-Li Nahm

Profession: CEO of business

Sibling:

Hyung-Ali Nahm

Older to Dori, a silent one and never helped nor defend him when their father belittled him. You could say if you saw him he agrees with his father but he doesn’t say anything to Dori or his dad when it comes to him. He never explicitly says anything about his brother’s lifestyle or his father’s.

Future Profession: Become next CEO to his fathers business.

BACKSTORY:

[PAST]Dori-Mus been different ever since he was four. His father noticed it but thought he would grow out of it. His mother noticed and didn’t really mind and liked that her boy was much softer, and glad that someone shared her kind eyes. Hyung-Li (brother) never really knew that whatever Dori did was always something wrong. Dori was so confused as to why his father pestered and scolded him about playing with dolls with his cousins instead of Gundam robots. His mother always beat his father before he could reach for a belt. Ayumi (mom) was always his protector and vouched for him. When he was told to go to his room his mom would give him his secret doll to play with till his punishment was over. She’s the only person he trusted because it was useless to get help from his brother.

When Dori went into middle school, his mind was able to explore more. Friends (if he could), teachers, classes, and overall socialization— Which he turned out to be really good at once he became less shy. He made one friend throughout and stuck with them till high school. He became a social butterfly and never really stuck to a group. At school he was a happy kid but still ignored by his brother and his friends. By seventh grade is when he discovered that not only girls were attractive, but guys as well. The only person he told was his best friend but sadly that friend moved and it wasn’t on good terms. His best friend secretly outed him and started all of the bullying for him. It bothered him a lot but when he started high school he started to own who he was and didn’t want to be stuck with any friend and just became as social as he was whenever he could. Other kids at school were first weirded out, but then slowly accepted it and most didn’t care or sided with him.

Of course few people didn’t like him but they never became too vocal about it and either way Dori-Mu didn’t care.

[High School]Things started to get worse when his style (this is the part about him buying too much online) He would buy women’s clothes online and say that he was buying them for a girl. His mother didn’t mind and his father thought he was just really becoming a man but spent too much on girls. Hyung-Li, still doesn’t say much to Dori. [Foreshadowing]

When his family was asleep he would sneak out at night in the clothes with an ID and hop from club to club gaining much attention from anyone who eyed him. Female, male, it didn’t matter to him but he did like men best. It was always a thrill to feel hot breath in s cool back alley. (Don’t think he doesn’t prepare for anything else to happen. He’s always safe.) He goes down a lot and his face sells. If they’re good-looking he charges, he takes potty on pathetics only looking for something to clear their head and gives out for free.

Nights like those are when he’s looking for his own getaway and fun. He wears more “appropriate” women’s clothing at school, don’t forget makeup, and carries his men’s clothes in his bag for when he gets home. In cheerleading performances he helps some of the girls out with their eyeshadow for games and events.

[Sexual Assault Warning]

But somehow, one night when Dori was out in clubs someone recognized the businessman’s (Dori’s dad) son dancing, and made their way to acquaint with him. Dori saw that he was good looking... older... and picked up on all of the signals. He looked wealthy too, and he gave this man his full attention. They danced and had many rounds of drinks. Dori normally never drinks but the man insisted and he wasn’t going to pass up free drinks and with the thought of being alone with this man later either. And without knowing his limit Dori was completely wasted becoming sloppier by the second. The man helped him out of the bar into the cool alley to get him some air.... they stand there for a while and the man starts to use coaxing soft words to him, touching his face.. keeping his body close to warmth.. then he starts to make out with him. It’s rough and he’s familiar with the feelings but it breaks when the man asks him to get in his car.

Dori starts to say no and tells him he just does things here and never exceeds that. But as he tells him the man this he’s already leading him into the car. Dori is still refusingas he’s pushed in and he starts to panic begging the man that’s over him to please get off. And the man “gets off”... in a sense. His coaxing soft face just turns bitter and harsh as he’s ordering Dori in the car. He’s kicking at the car door to get someone’s attention but he all of the sudden feels a sharp pain. (“It never hurt like this..” -Dori in his mind) He’s reacting but crying, but the man just goes harder. The obscure names he calls him just become disgusting and degrading in Dori’s ear when the man whispers then to him. Some parts of his clothes are torn. Dori can’t recall how long the man took but felt every second of it.. Not even with protection. It scared him even more if he wasn’t safe Dori laid there blank and empty and his eyes wouldn’t blink for a minute.

Then the man got off of him and pulled out his phone. He sickenly took photo of what he did. Dori.... felt so lifeless...

[Parent altercation warning]

He woke up the next day propped right outside under his bedroom window. Lets just say he didn’t have a graceful landing and did make noise coming back inside

His mother opened the door to check and sees her son battered, torn, and a mess... She was speechless at first until she saw tears forming in Dori’s eyes did she go to comfort him and gathered him in her arms. The sound was enough to bring his father in the room. He had the same stunned reaction, only for it to be a scowl of anger and disgrace. He yelled at him while expressing in his hands. His mom tried to cool him down and started holding her husband back to prevent an altercation. He yells many thing at him while mom is trying her best. And when he calls him faggot he slaps Dori so hard it was enough force for Dori to hold himself up using his bed as short and hold his cheek.

[Post-Assault Thoughts Warning]

His mother yelled at her husband and pulled him out of the room to fight with him more. Dori cried in his room that morning till afternoon.

He was able to get himself to shower though.. he still felt the mans hand around his throat, his hair, all of the beautiful sensations had now been tainted. He had to build a wall for himself now (and probably carry a weapon now..) he needs a way to get passed thisand doing this he felt like he can make it disappear like it never happened. It’s not like his parents know what he does besides dress up...

After his shower his mother comes in and checks on him and asks what happened. He tells her about the partying but changes the story to why he’s hurt. He plays it off as him beating someone in a fight because of how he dressed. Obviously his mother comforted/ scolded him about fighting but was more concerned about him, what he was thinking, and about what happened with his father and if he’ll be okay. Dori just shrugs and plays it of with the confidence he has. She smiles and kisses her sons head and just holds him thanking that he’s alive at least.

[A week later] Later around 2 pm, Dori-Mus father is having an in-house meeting with the door closed, the talking muffled to the outside.

{Dori-Mu is about that time where he should be looking for universities. He’s graduating soon but takes his time on looking. His father never speaks to him}

He’s sitting on the couch eating an apple and on his phone when he hears his fathers office open and footsteps towards the kitchen as his father talks about grabbing a coffee to his partner from his business... his voice... it stunts something in Dori. He can hear his mother in there as well and goes to get up to see. Apparently Hyung is in there too. [Dori’s perspective: I look in when my father is talking about passing on the business to Hyung to his partner... and then my feet stop. The back of this man’s frame... Slowly becomes familiar to me. He turns to my mother and I recognize his face and instantly everything goes slow but my heart races faster and I hear it in my ears. My eyes cannot revert from being so wide and everything inside me is screaming.]

Dori’s mother sees him and goes to him to ask what’s wrong. (As she moves toward him the mans eyes follow her and catch up Dori’s.. he doesn’t know what to feel) [D’s perspective: She says my name again and noticed my posture and takes me by the hand to my room. He’s here, he’s here, he’s here, he’s here!?!]

His mother starts to try to calm down his shaking but all it does is make him cry so she just keeps trying. Dori tells her it was a nightmare he had in his nap but she calls bullshit and calls out his behavior. He keeps insisting and makes one up. His mother still does her best and eventually things calm down. She goes to the door and there he is standing in the doorway and says he’s been looking for her to ask where the restroom is and she goes to show him. The man looks at Dori for a brief moment, the fear coming back to Dori’s eyes. The man grabs the door handle and stares at him as he closes it shut. Then Dori remembers.. he has photographs.. he starts to freak out some more and tries to come up with a plan to leave this place he looks to the pile of university pamphlets from abroad. (He doesn’t need to worry about grades his fathers money can pay for it.) He picks Manhattan, LA, even Florida schools that he can use to make an escape to. By default, he chooses California because he’s been there before.

At dinner his father talks to his brother about the company and how his business partner might be coming around more often. In Dori’s mind it’s ringing alarm bells and has to come up with his plan fast. After dinner his mom comes into his room to check on him. It’s just small talk until he mentions college and where he wants to go...

[A month later]

Dori kicks himself out of the house. Not like his father would care, Hyung did give a small goodbye when Dori came to tell him he was leaving . It took him a while since Hyung was looking through work papers. Dori started to get irritated with him.

“All my life you’ve said nothing to me.. not even once.. it’s strange not to know your brother’s voice... so can you please, at least a goodbye?..” -Dori.

Hyung pauses from his shuffling and looked up through his glasses. There was a pause.

That’s all it was. But even that glance gave some reassurance that he doesn’t hate him enough to actually acknowledge him. At least that’s what he thinks.

His mom takes him to the airport and there is a heartfelt goodbye. The plane ride goes smoothly, and when he lands he never has to think about that man again...

[PRESENT]

He gets an apartment in San Francisco since he chose the University there though he doesn’t plan to actually go. He just needed and excuse to leave. His mom ends up paying for his apartment behind her husbands knowing. And the tuition money... well for himself. His apartment is... modest, but comfortable. Though his mom helps she asked him to get a job to be able to feed himself. His neighbors are, friendly, but Dori is pretty snooty to them. Two are roommates and share the room across from Dori’s. Another he gets to know, his attractive yet annoyingly similar to his brother, Erin. Quiet and kind of a loner and his is next door to Dori’s. (All three are going to college)

[During this Dori pretends and acts like he’s going to the school just like his neighbors just to fit in. Maj: Business Min: Marketing]

Dori eventually gets a job near the StarClucks by the college and also gets acquainted with someone working with him.

And that’s the full backstory until I start doing the present story now!