#i was gonna make this a general starter for all muses but honestly i'm not sure my muse would be there for everyone
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ladyseidr · 7 months ago
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starter call time, this time normal length ( probably ~2 paras ). like this post for a starter from the fn.af muses. open to all mutuals, and new mutuals are super encouraged to like this post if you're interested!! please specify muse(s) or i will not write you a starter. as these are slightly longer starters, please only request one muse/dynamic per blog ( i do mean blog, not mun ).
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miengsol · 2 years ago
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3, 8, 12, 20, and 25 !!
truthful tuesday except 2day is monday so truthful monday ( ft. truthful tuesday meme w/ @velvetineblue )
3. what’s your favorite thing about your mutuals?
oh there is so much i love about my mutuals on all my blogs so this is really hard....are you sure i have to pick just one winter 🥺 okay fine, i really just adore?? how supportive and interactive my mutuals are of each other! like everyone has threads, but also they hype each other up/support each other in the tags and also in the comments section of ooc posts and it just really?? makes me feel like i'm in an actual community rather than it being more like everyone is for themselves :'D honestly my mutuals, the ones i write with even more specifically, i can genuinely say, they're not only excellent writers, but also good people and that's more than enough for me at this point in my rp career <3
8. what’s one thing you think you’re good at?
writing replies that engage both my muse and my partner's muse! i usually try incorporate some kind of narration/thoughts about my partner's muse in some capacity ( at least for the longer threads ) because i've found?? reading that kind of writing from my partner makes me the most invigorated to continue a thread- i think it's also helped me become better at really understanding my partner's muse from my muse's perspective / writing narration in general.
12. what’s overrated in the rpc?
mmmmmm gonna be honest, permanent starter calls are, in my opinion, kinda ineffective because unless i know someone is comfy with me and vice versa, i'm not going to write unprompted starters for them or jump into their dms immediately...ppl still do seem to use them though. i'll just say that in my opinion, they've been ineffective at actually starting interactions, probably bc we're all too shy/nervous to reach out jsdlfkjsd
20. what’s the most underrated plot?
friends-with-benefits + slowburn, but like, the wholesome kind....like seeing how touch between two people can be initially more intense but THEN?? it softens and there's pining between them and wondering if the other party maybe just maybe sees them as something more- i think just miss having that kind of dynamic and would one day love to see calum have a ship like that ( and even if i can't, there's always his canon love interest :'D )
25. what’s the worst rule you’ve seen on tumblr?
mmmm, there was a blog that once followed me that required gifs & icons to write with them which like?? makes no sense since they've already seen that even if i do use icons/gifs, my blog doesn't have a lot visuals/aesthetic posts and not to mention you're gonna use gifs while writing smut....? i guess i shouldn't say that i think it's the worst rule i've seen, but more of, it makes no sense to me since rp is supposed to be a writing hobby first and you're isolating a good number of rp blogs that like, have the potential to give great connections....and not to mention, i wouldn't want to use another person's face when writing smut ://
that and i have found that basing a character off of a faceclaim first usually doesnt have the making of a solid rp muse
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quillheel · 8 months ago
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//🚢 Hmmmm Akari and Yusuke? :) I also lowkey wanna know what you think of Yuuma and Yusuke as well fdkgjkl
send 🚢 or ( 'SHIP' ) if you ever considered shipping our characters romantically and want me to fill out the following form for our muses. / always accepting!
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— Yusuke & Akari!
do i ship our characters together? — yes | no(?) | not yet but ???
i portray Yusuke as gay, so it'd be very. ??? with him i think? because I think Yusuke innately would find a lot of Akari's characteristics to be attractive which usually applies to Joker overall due to just how Yusuke is attracted to ppl, but because of him just not being attracted to women, it'd be kind of flickers of Something but not really full attraction if that makes sense? It's like seeing someone and going 'on GOD if i were bi i'd be down Atrocious rn jesus christ' but instead just being left with that awareness that you WOULD be into someone but you're kind of just. not? while also still finding aspects of their personality attractive? it'd be very funky for him! I could only see that kind of relationship Existing in Any form if it was in a poly queerplatonic kind of relationship with others alongside Yusuke even if Yusuke I think would still definitely be muddled and kinda moreso a backing note vs the others who would be more firmly 'i am a romantic partner' yknow
though generally speaking, Yusuke is v queer as it is so him kissing all his friends in a polycule and then leaving the rest to Akari's actual boyfriends isn't too out of par for him, even if it wouldn't really be a Proper ship between them GBTRHKBGH Yusuke's OVERALL care of Akari is endless though even w/o the Full attraction, just for the record <3333 he loves his friends vv much and honestly I don't think it'd be right to confine that general love to Specifically platonic. Yusuke still loves with his Entire heart <3 appreciate the inquiry big-time though even if it kinda didnt work out!!!
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— Yusuke & Yuuma! (hot boy summer fr fr)
do i ship our characters together? — yes | no | not yet but maybe soon (I MAY NOT FULLY YET BUT I SEE THE POTENTIAL)
would i like to ship with you? — yes!!!! | maybe, i'm willing to try | no
type of relationship i could see — childhood or high school sweethearts | exes | engaged | married | long-term relationship | crushes | unrequited love (yusuke is what i often call A Yearner <3) | fling | long distance | online relationship (cause of yuuma's parents + diff school mostly) | just dating | new relationship | toxic lovers | friends with benefits
tropes i'd enjoy writing for them — friends to lovers | enemies to lovers | exes to lovers | fake relationship / dating | forbidden love (looks again at yuuma's parents GBTHK) | grumpy and sunshine | star-crossed lovers | surprise pregnancy | second chance | soulmates | amnesia / mistaken identity | forced proximity | secret relationship | slow burn relationship
would i rather plot first or jump right in and see where it goes? — develop their relationship first | jump right in | something in between (I'm prob gonna end up putting this on all of these i do, but! I'm flexible and chill with figuring out stuff along the way if we're rping out the build up before the relationship/the realizations/etc, but I work better on getting invested with ships when we discuss them ooc first! we don't necessarily have to figure out EVERYTHING, but since Yuuma and Yusuke have never really interacted before, I think I'd need that to Really get invested with them even if I already have the baseline of thinking they could be interesting yk!)
what now? — let's plot something | send me shippy memes | i'll send you shippy memes | write me a random starter | i'll write you a random starter
anything else i want you to know about me / my character / my shipping habits — I can't think of anything else that I haven't already mentioned! the biggest thing was me portraying Yusuke as gay which. opening paragraph, baby BKHTRTB Ig an overall closing note to go on a positive one, even with characters we havent tossed at eachother before (like stuff with garry, luxien, nasu, aelia, etc etc!) or with pairings that might not always work out, I'm always game to ship with you!!! It's really fun and i enjoy talking to you and BOY is chattering about ships a good excuse sometimes <333
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mxrbutch · 3 years ago
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please listen to Gospels of the Flood
okay so ive been wanting to write this post for a while now, but i was genuinely blown away by this story so here i am recommending it to whoever is reading.
this podcast is 7 episodes long (each episode lasts about 15 minutes) and i promise you it's worth your time. on paper, the plot goes as follows: the world is sinking and a priest has lost his faith, so he decides to go find his brothers to see where they are and if they still believe in god. each one of them has a different story to tell.
for starters, the tone of this podcast is incredible. the writing is solemn and elegant and profoundly human, and it is impressively sharp when it needs to be. the voice acting is charismatic and captivating and i genuinely never lost focus while listening once. as a genre, it sometimes verges on horror (if anything because the world is ending, but there are other elements too) but it speaks at length about what it means to be human and to believe in life. it has a spectacular ending that i honestly feel is thematically incredible though it's not particularly convoluted plot-wise. is the kind of ending that would lose a lot of value if i describe it to you because listening to the very last sentence for the first time is priceless and personally borderline exhilarating-- not because it's a twist but because it says exactly what it needs to say in exactly the right tone. the soundtrack of this podcast is spectacular and i think it might end up on my next years' spotify wrapped (in fact, i encourage to listen to it even if you don't listen to the podcast) + the soundscaping is genuinely incredible and, at least to my untrained ears, some of the best i have ever encountered.
i also want to make it clear that this podcast's perspective, even when it questions god on a pretty fundamental level, is very christian (as in: even when it speaks about religion in general it speaks about it from a christian pov, which i think is a good thing to point out given that it sometimes muses about what it means to have faith at all). i did however found the way it critiques some traditionally christian values incredibly cathartic. my favourite episode, for instance, is entirely about the idea of feeling ashamed of yourself and what it means to centre your faith around that lie (i have relistened to it Many Times). there's also some interesting anti-capitalist commentary (such as prisons still being a thing during the apocalypse, even when people are dying and there's no escaping the end) which i thought was very compelling.
as far as warnings go: generally, loss death and mass death because it's set during an apocalypse. car crash and child death in episode 1. episode 4 needs a warning for suicide, mass suicide, and cults (and that's my favorite episode, the one i mentioned above). i'm sorry if i'm forgetting anything else. here are the transcripts if you need them
i know not everyone likes spoilers, but i get into stuff faster if i read a nice quote from it first, so i'm gonna put under the cut a quote from my favorite episode in case anyone is curious
(cw for mass suicide and cult-like behavior)
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[ID:
We had to recognize what we were, Simon told me. We were God's greatest failure. We were born sinners and with our every breath, we destroyed the beauty of Creation. The continents were sinking beneath our weight; the Earth needed to cleanse itself of our stain.
He took me to the edge of the building, to see the people falling. He pointed at the waves. This is our path to redemption, he said. If we can recognize our arrogance, our sinfulness, our inferiority to those creatures that are still pure, then we can save the world through sacrifice.
I looked at the waves. They were grey, dirty, filled with corpses and mud. If this was God's will, then I rejected it. And if it saved a single life, I would reject his entire creation. The trees and the birds and the fishes in the sea were nothing before the beauty of a single human being. Here, now, seeing them die, I understood what I had seen in their eyes: guilt. Guilt at existing. Guilt at being human. And now the force that had woken up within me blazed with fury.
/end ID]
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captainseamech · 2 years ago
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[4, 8, and 9?]
Questions for muns
8. do you expect your answered memes/asks to be turned into threads? regardless of answer, what’s your reasoning?
In my opinion I think it depends on what kind of meme/ask. But in general, I don't expect much about most of the time because well... either I just end up writing a drabble whenever it's a prompt/starter or, in case someone turns the ask into a thread, I don't feel like going further with that topic. Again, it depends of my muse and my inspiration at the time, but most of the time I keep my expectations low.
9. when you look at a new blog, what is it that makes you press the follow button? is it the muse, the aesthetics, the writing–?
Being honest with you, I'm what people calls 'your friendly neighbor' so I try to go and support as many new rpers as I see and can! Of course I do look at things like rules page, about character and if the person tags their posts accordingly. But yeah if I see a possible interaction with our muses in general, I gently slap that follow button and even offer some help if they need!
//okay so... I replied to these out of order because question number 4 accidentally turned into a ramble of mine, which is of course under cut. There's a very small f.naf mention in the first paragraph but you can safely skip to the second one if so desired.
———————
4. which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why?
Well I mean, I have quite a good variety of muses (not counting with my deadass multi) but in general, I love all of my babies equally! But I do have a certain muse that I had some fun for a while which is M.onty from F.naf, I sadly stopped writing him because the fandom kind of... killed him for me because they kept calling the character a villain etc etc (which is just because of a stupid theory curse you MatPat) and... yeah.
But to keep myself within the fandom of this blog, High Tide has been my very first muse for years now. I love that we kind of grow together and I learned to write more about him occasionally, but his muse is... kind of quiet all of a sudden. I mean sure it happened before and that led me to dip from the internet for like, 2 years. Sure it can happen again but I have to say that I have a small concern that his muse goes radio silent again all of a sudden because I do want to write him with my mutuals, being them old or new, but my scaredy ahh keeps making me think that I intervene or ask for too much attention. Not to mention the fact that people constantly annoying my mutuals because of my 'main ship' (even though I declared myself multi-ship) saying that he'd probably steal a different ship's partner is just... yeah. Demotivating not gonna lie.
Not to mention that I feel like my headcanons are unintentionally forcing people to follow that part of what imagined of his canon (like saying that he was friends with TFP Megatronus in his Gladiator era for example) and this... sort of counts as god-modding for me and I honestly don't want people to feel forced to follow my canon. That's why I mostly do silly headcanons regarding his actions or his daily routine instead of going too deep with his backstory because I have this sense that a secondary/background character shouldn't have that much lore in a single rp blog. I rarely bring his lore up for the reasons mentioned before sooo yeah I think that's why I stopped writing him that often, even though I love him dearly and I'd do anything for him...
And I also feel like I make him way overpowered strength wise, another reason why I never brought the topic about his full strength up in public. Anons are probably just waiting for me to make an 'OP move' with him to start their ramblings or saying that I'm unfair. That's why I almost never do fighting threads, I know that I may or may not have done High Tide extremely strong and I don't want people to come here and say that I'm buffing him up. Not to mention the rare instances of me mentioning his gladiator arc and almost immediately regretting bringing this up.
I feel like he's slooooowly going inactive again, but that's part of life I guess. If he does go inactive, I may try to go absolutely radio silent about his past and even discard the headcanons about him being a gladiator, his strength and all and just keep the trauma of having to lose his partners since they're somewhat close to canon giving the nature of the whole franchise.
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ofgentleresolve · 2 years ago
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HOW I RUN MY BLOG.
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SPEED: slow! slow af literally please expect to be waiting at least a month for replies if not even longer....i also almost exclusively use the queue to stagger my replies/inbox memes/everything i'm ever tagged in. it really helps with keeping me from spending too much time on this hellsite :'D LOL not anymore 😂😂😂 i try to do some replies every few days, i usually like to post 1-3 things at once before taking a few days off. i also can be VERY SLOW when it comes to answering dms and discord messages; however, i have been trying to be quicker on that end....pls have patience with me overall i promise i will get back to you sooner or later!!
REPLIES: again, very slow but i rarely drop things. long time followers know that sooner or later i get back to them...and if i don't they know since i would have otherwise posted their reply in the queue ;'D
STARTERS: pls feel free to write me all of them- again it might take me some time to get to all of them, but i promise, i haven't forgotten about ANY of them :'D i will note though that I don’t answer replies chronologically but rather i will pick one character and then do ALL of their threads there at once :'D
also i will note...i do like have SOME minimal plotting before we plot writing together and then maybe?? it can be kick-started by either memes or unprompted starters...really it depends on who my partner is; i like to be flexible in this case!!
INBOX: it gets cleared out at the same time as the replies! so basically pls consider them as being at the same pace as replies. :'D feel free to send them in as and as many as you want...but also pls know i have a right to decide whether i answer what you've sent in or not....but basically as  for the most part, i treat inbox memes the way i do replies- i will get back to you sooner or later!
SELECTIVITY: very selective. i'm not gonna lie, i am very selective with who i follow as writing these days, while i adore doing it, it also takes up a lot of my energy. i don’t want to waste my energy on dynamics and threads i know i’m not going to be excited about. if i follow you, it means i've looked over your blog, your content, your muses, and everything and i've decided that we have a chance at getting along :D but then again following ppl...it's a bet.
will note though as well- your attitude on dash makes or breaks whether i want to follow you. if you treat your followers with respect and genuine interest and care, i am more than happy to wait for you. however it's clear you look at your partners as a means for an end like entertainment purposes....i will soft block.
shipping wise, i don't halfass my shipping; basically i like romantic shipping as much as the next person BUT...i won't sacrifice my character's development and arc for a ship. ever. basically i only do romantic ships if there is serious ic AND ooc chemistry.
WISHLIST: honestly...i'm pretty content, but i would love for all of my muses to have more plotted relationships, platonic or romantic 🥺 well, patrick/myungdae and mana, romantically wise, i'm very content with, but my other muses!! maybe i just want more interactions with plotting backing up in general.
okay that’s what i want- more partners where we have plotted material btw us <3
HONEST NOTE: i know can sound like a hard ass but i promise i'm not. i just tend to be very picky with who i follow, but once you're in, i like to think i'm pretty easygoing- you can ask my long time partners as well if you need clarification <3
Also, communicate with me if i'm doing something that is making you uncomfortable- i am not a mindreader and i will not try to be. communciation is key here.
TAGGED BY:  stole it bc i figured it would be good for ppl to know this kind of stuff! TAGGING: steal it and tag me if you want~
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exsanguisdraconis · 3 years ago
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o6﹕ is  there  something  about  the  roleplay  community  that  irks  you ?
10﹕ is  there  a  piece  of  your  character’s  canon  that  you  refuse  to  accept ?
25﹕ who  is  an  author  whose  writing  inspires  your  own ?
27﹕ what  is  a  trend  within  the  rpc  that  you  would  consider  to  be  overrated ?
28﹕ what  is  a  turn - off  when  you’re  seeking  writing  partners ?
39﹕ what  would  you  say  is  the  best  faceclaim  decision  you’ve  ever  made ?
o6﹕ is  there  something  about  the  roleplay  community  that  irks  you ?
I’m gonna be honest I rewrote this a few times bc I got too salty. In the end my big thing is like... I feel like people take everything to extreme and it’s kind of exhausting.
Like some people will take good concepts and just turn them into weird, rigid rules and honestly treat their partners really shitty.
Like dropping threads. Dropping threads, as a concept is fine because we all get busy or lose muse or just shit happens, right? But it’s taken to such a weird extreme where like it’s ok to drop anything at any time for no reason and no one can call you on it and the time and creative effort you’ve put into all the plotting and writing the starter means absolutely nothing because they’re not “obligated” to do anything for you. And I’m just going to say it: that’s shitty. And if anyone reading this feels that way... you’re shitty for acting like that. Yeah, in a social hobby you do have social obligations to the people you’re participating with. I can’t just stand out in a baseball field and take up a spot on the team while doing shit all because it’s just a game and I’m not obligated to do anything for anyone. I’m not saying you have to hit home runs 24/7, god knows I don’t, but you have to try. Communication, engagement in other ways (memes, chatting ooc, shit posting, maybe different threads), offering to write the next starter/come up with the next plot after dropping something, all those are ways you can just be a decent partner.
Reblog karma is another one. Great idea as a concept. No one wants to feel left out or have their notes clogged up, so it’s not great to make a constant habit of reblogging memes without sending any, but again, people gotta freak the fuck out and they never consider why someone might not reblog from the source. Maybe they don’t have the spoons to read through the whole meme and send shit, maybe the source isn’t easy to find. I used to reblog memes because I knew when I got on later to look at my blog or answer anything I’d gotten, I’d see who I reblogged it from and know where to send it to now that I was off mobile. 
It’d be one thing if the RPC was filled with children but the circles I’m in really aren’t. Everyone is at least in their mid 20s acting like this and it isn’t cute. 
I’ve gotten away from those types of people in my group of current partners. I feel like every person I write with understands like healthy balances and just being kind in general, but it’s very very frustrating to try and find new people to write with and read this shit in their rules.
10﹕ is  there  a  piece  of  your  character’s  canon  that  you  refuse  to  accept ?
There's a lot of Loki canon in the MCU that I'm just like "no fuck that." I'm sorry, unpopular opinion, I did not like Rag. Number one all the shit with the Grand Master was gross and I hated it. Number two, you can say Thor one is boring all you want, but it felt way more genuine. Everything in Rag was just a cookie cutter Marvel thing. And Loki in that movie is kind of ooc for me, though you can't tell because his personality shifts with every single iteration. Fenrir was disappointing, Hela's story was a whole mess, we didn't even see Jor??? Trash. Trash it all in my opinion. It has no bearing on my Loki. I know that my Loki is---out there, but I still feel like he stays very true to that original MCU version of him we see in Avengers/Thor and even in The Dark World.
25﹕ who  is  an  author  whose  writing  inspires  your  own ?
I really like Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.
I not only love Gaiman's work, but I love his audiobooks where he reads his own work. You can just tell the passion and consideration he has for his work as he's reading and I love it.
Pratchett is mostly for his humor and style. It always makes me excited about fantasy and inspires me to examine the ways I write my own shit.
27﹕ what  is  a  trend  within  the  rpc  that  you  would  consider  to  be  overrated ?
Idk. I don’t really follow a lot of people that obsess over being trendy, so I think a lot of that cool kid shit misses me.
28﹕ what  is  a  turn - off  when  you’re  seeking  writing  partners ?
Kinda what I said in the first bit. I've gotten very good at finding those kinds of people before ever even following. Like if you have a laundry list of things ppl have to do before talking to you or like, you get pressed when someone you didn't follow back likes meme or a photo post that you just reblogged? Get the fuck out of here. 
39﹕ what  would  you  say  is  the  best  faceclaim  decision  you’ve  ever  made ?
Look it doesn’t pertain to this blog, but it took me forever to find a faceclaim I liked for Beck. I had a very specific vibe I was going for and needed someone expressive and playful and I really like Eliza Taylor for Beck. I’ve never looked back.
But I tell you I’m having just as hard of a time looking for one for Cherry on this account, and it’s one of the main reasons I don’t currently have her listed as a muse. That and idk she’d be the only dwarf on here, but she is directly connected to Ena. So playing her anywhere else feels weird. Anyway, to make a short story long if anyone wants to help me find fc ideas for Cherry hmu
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notinhabited-blog · 8 years ago
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do you have any advice for beginning rpers? i really wanna get into this style of roleplaying but i'm used to those short-answer fuckin like.. quotev or discord style roleplays. i think i could learn how to do the paragraph stuff and i've been practicing a lot and trying real hard on my own! i think i'm ready. but i see everyone on this website with years and years of experience, and i'm scared nobody will want to roleplay with a beginner :[
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Oh geez. I might not be the best person to ask but I’ll try to help. I started roleplaying 12 years ago, but that was mostly on forums. So moving to tumblr was a big change because it’s a lot less organized. So let me see if I can maybe help.
Okay so if you are going into the indie rp scene, it’s not gonna be easy. 
First off, make sure you know your character’s voice. The way that they speak is important. If you do short stuff, you are probably already decent enough at this. When I first started writing (fanfics lol), I got a lot of criticism about not deprescribing things. I highly suggest that you write some stuff for practice and set a limit for yourself. Tell yourself you cannot write dialogue for a certain amount of time or paragraphs. 
Second, I’m gonna say you have to get used to rejection. People are fairly selective at times and sometimes they won’t follow you back. That’s okay. You’ll find people who will write with you. Don’t give up. People might not answer your asks. That’s okay. Not your fault. People might just fucking ignore you. Move on. Any artistic expression is open to hurt you to be honest. You are putting work into something and people can shoot you down, reject you, or ignore you. 
Third, I’d say you try to match your partner’s length. When I first started writing, my replies would get shorter and shorter. I like to go through each paragraph of my partner’s reply and try to show what my character was doing during every sentence. If they seem to be following your actions in their reply, describe what your character does next in response. Picture it in your head. Try to watch scenes of something and image how it would be written. Think about how stories or books you read do it. Matching length is one of the things that taught me how to be more descriptive and get more into my character’s head. 
Fourth is to put your head totally into your character. If you are doing a canon character, I usually like to imagine their thoughts during canon scenes. Their feelings. Music helps me think of my character’s mindset honestly. I’d suggest making a playlist you can listen to while you write.
  Okay so fifth. I’ve noticed that not being quiet helps. Reply to your mutuals opens, like the starter calls, send all the memes. Do anything to get your name on other people’s blogs. Most you followers are gonna come from people see your url on people they follow’s blogs. And remember, just because someone doesn’t answer and ask or write a starter, it doesn’t mean you should give up. I’m also gonna add that messaging people you want to roleplay with about potential plots helps. With a lot of my blogs, I’d go to people with a few plots already in my mind so they wouldn’t have to work as hard. It feels nice to have someone think about what your muses could do together. 
 Sixth, keep your ooc posting light, especially when you first make your blog. If you follow someone and they go to your page and you have all ooc posts, they might not follow you back. And always read people’s rules before you follow them to avoid complications. 
Seventh. If someone makes you uncomfortable, don’t let them keep doing it to be nice. I used to do this so much that I have had to leave blogs before. Also, make sure you have a rules page and an about page. Most people won’t follow people that don’t. 
Also, things tend to go better if you have icons and a decent theme in terms of people actually wanting to write with you. Generally, people like to use icons with shorter stuff because (in my opinion) it makes it easier to tell who’s talking. If you are serious about doing this, I would be happy to make you some graphics tbh. But if you don’t want to use them, plenty of people have a good time roleplaying without them. 
If you want any help with anything, feel free to message me or IM me. Maybe I can help. 
We all were first starting out at one point. Just make sure you have it on your page. I did that when I first started on tumblr. As long as you are polite and try really hard, people will help you out. I wouldn’t know how to do anything here if people hadn’t told me when I started. 
  Feel free to message me with anything you may need. If you message me not on anon, I’ll answer you privately if you’d like. I’d be happy to help honestly. 
  I hope you have a nice day. Hope this somehow helped and did seem like a crazy person rambling. 
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