#i was gonna make it into one big web weaving post basically but then i rmbed how badly my poor things one did :

[widowkills]

— Anaïs Nin

[lordisitmine]

TTNBD BLOG: PART TWO

Welcome once again, to the extended author’s notes! That’s kind of how I’m thinking of these posts. This post covers the details of chapter two of the story, (chapter 3 on ao3 if you’re just looking at the numbers), entitled What a Tangled Web We Weave. So, spoilers if you haven’t read that yet.

HISTORICAL ACCURACY

In this week’s retrospective, I’d like to talk a little bit about historical accuracy. If you’re anything like me, you like watching and reading a lot of things that take place in past eras. If you’re like me, you hate when something- be it a phrase, an outfit, a hairstyle, or a reference to people/events- is egregiously incorrect to the time period being portrayed. Big anachronisms drive me crazy.

However, there’s a level of inaccuracy that I don’t actually mind- if it helps better the story without taking me too much out of the fantasy, or if it adds something to the setting while not detracting from the believably- I’ll allow it. Basically, what I’m saying is that, like a lot of other aspects of writing/art, historical accuracy is about finding the right balance. Or, getting as close as you can to the target of perfect. With fanfiction, I think the margin is even wider- I try not to take this medium too overly seriously, especially when I’m reading and enjoying something someone else has written. I’m a little tougher on myself, though I hope not too tough.

I like to call what I do “movie-accurate”. A lot of my favourite period films have things in them that just aren’t correct, but because I love those movies so much, and because the overall vibe is close enough to what I know about history, I let it slide.

For example, in the 2005 film Pride and Prejudice, the hairstyles of the young women, as well as some of their dress styles are quite off from what women’s fashions were actually like at the time in which the novel/movie was set. The 1995 BBC miniseries adaptation is far, far more faithful in terms of aesthetics. However, the 2005 film is incredibly beloved by a lot of Jane Austen fans, despite its inaccuracies! Because it’s a fucking good movie, which sells the characterization and romances so well that you can sort of excuse the “dumbing down” of the details. It’s one of my favourite period films, and films, period.

Obviously there are bad movies that don’t even try to be accurate, but when I say “movie-accurate” know that I’m talking about the good ones.

During the course of Though the Night be Dark, I’ll be making a lot of references to/descriptions of outfits and hairstyles, because I’m pretty sure I was a fashion designer or personal stylist in my past life, but not all of them will be totally accurate to the years 1899/1900. That goes for stuff like technology, too- it won’t ever be over-the-top (i.e. they’re not gonna have television in the year 1900) but if you notice stuff that seems just a little out of place, know that I felt it was necessary to fudge the numbers, so to speak, in pursuit of the characters, the romance, and the story itself.

This same sort of “movie-accuracy” applies to the settings. I’ve never been to Paris or London in my life- I’m broke and there’s a whole ocean in between me and Europe. I do my best to research and reference actual places and landmarks, but if you do live in either of those places and what I write seems fantastical or inaccurate, I am sorry, believe me. Please forgive me, and do your best to imagine these as like, imaginary versions of these places.

I don’t know why I’m defending myself- most people probably don’t mind, and some probably don’t notice things like this. But it’s important to me to be as accurate as I can be within the scope of my ability, and it’s important to me for people to learn about my process if they want to. I digress.

CHAPTER TWO: WHAT A TANGLED WEB WE WEAVE

Sometimes I pick titles because they’re references to things, and the words/themes of the things in question closely fit the character and the story. For example, To the End of Everything is a lyric from the Adam Lambert song Sleepwalker, which was on my SebaCiel playlist back in 2014 when I was first writing it. It fit the story of the end of Ciel’s life, and the end of his contract with Sebastian, and it’s such a nice set of words to say out loud and look at on a screen.

The first chapter of this fic, A Far, Far Better Rest, is a reference to the final line from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. Two cities, London and Paris, both of which are the settings for TTNBD. Not a super deep reference, but there’s a reason for it.

What a Tangled Web We Weave is also a reference to something- part of a famous line from am 1808 poem Marmion: A Tale of Flodden Field by Sir Walter Scott. It’s set in the time of Henry VIII and tells the romantic and ultimately tragic story of some rich guy and his affair with a woman. The full line is what a tangled we weave/when first we practise to deceive.

I picked this title for three reasons: one, because it has the word web in it, and Claude is a spider demon. Two, because it’s about lies, and lies are the basis for some of the upcoming conflict in this story. And three, and most chief among the reasons: it sounded cool.

What can I say. Sometimes I write/use things are deep and profound, and sometimes I just use things I think are kinda neat. I try, as always, to strike a decent balance.

Alright, let’s break this chapter down.

We started off with a remix of a scene from the second season of the Black Butler anime. It’s a little infamous, to be sure. I’m speaking of course about the scene where Alois shoves his finger into Hannah’s eye socket! I know that in the original scene he doesn’t actually pull out her eyeball, but I wanted to go whole-hog, I think it’s just extra insane and I wanted you to know what kind of Alois Trancy character I’m playing with here. He’s an adult here, whereas he was a kid in the anime- I don’t know, I just thought the increased level of brutality suited him.

I pulled actual dialogue from the scene and repurposed it, which I love doing and have done many times in my fanfic writing career (side-eye at my Supernatural fics). I wrote it from Claude’s POV because I love that outsider POV in a scene. I also wanted to establish his thoughts and feelings about Alois right off the bat.

Cards on the table: I haven’t watched the second season of the anime in a very long time. I watched the first few episodes some time last year I think??? When I was deciding to write this story, just to get a feel for their characters/relationship again. I’ve seen them portrayed in fanon as everything from a toxic couple to a couple who are more actually in love, like Ciel and Sebastian- I very much don’t see that for these two. Their tension is different, and in the context of this story, it’s been years, and that tension is heading towards a boiling point.

What I’m saying is that I’m sorry to any real die-hard Alois and/or Claude fans in advance if I do stretch them too far out of the OOC allowance margins… but also no I’m not hehehehehe.

Claude mentions Alois reading penny dreadfuls. Penny dreadfuls were these cheap little serialised fiction zines you could buy for a penny, hence the name. Every volume was like, an 8–16 page chunk of a story. The dreadful part comes from the fact that they were highly sensationalised and sometime salacious stories about murder and highway robbery and pirates and stories of real-life criminals doing heinous murder and such- sometimes sold at public executions! Overall, these things weren’t considered Proper English Literature. Which of course meant that they were VERY popular. Mostly in the early to mid 1800s. As far as I know, they started to lose ground in popular culture by the turn of the century, but they existed, I think they were cool, and therefore I can include a reference to them!

Penny dreadfuls weren’t really about romance or sex but they were super popular among young people, and the idea of Alois reading trashy romance novels in general is just hilarious to me. And like I said, I just really wanted to reference something so undeniably Victorian.

And yes, for the purposes of this story, he does in fact know that Hannah is a demon. Did he know that in the anime? I think maybe he did, but like I said, it’s been a while, and I don’t remember. I could go back and watch it again, but I don’t want canon to mess up my fanfiction. Anyway, the fact that Alois knows Hannah is a demon will become relevant and important as the story continues, so I won’t say too much more about it.

Back to Paris- it’s time for more Lizzy content! There’s quite a bit of that in this chapter. Originally, this chapter and the next one were originally just supposed to be one chapter, but the whole thing got too long/had a natural breaking point in my mins, so I split it up.

These parts of the story are more difficult to write- they involve the OCs a lot, and there’s lots of things to establish. It’s hard to do that without getting to in the weeds or being really clunky, but on the other hand, I can’t forget that anything outside of canon references is in my brain and no one else’s, so I have to make sure to cover the important stuff.

This is my first time writing F/F romance! That’s not quite true. I’ve been writing original stories with F/F romances in them for years and years- this is my first time writing an F/F romance that other people are actually going to read. Thankfully, being a lesbian, I have actual experience falling in love with women, so I have lots of real-life stuff to draw from. I didn’t realise how much of my own past and current crushes and preferences wormed their way into the Lizzy/Sybil dynamic. I’ve read posts before about how romance/sex scenes are always revealing of the author’s preferences/feelings/kinks, and I was like “not me haha I am Unknowable” but I guess I can’t say that anymore oops.

When it comes to labels for fictional characters, I don’t like to use them/talk about them unless it’s been explicitly stated in canon. For example, I would never say a canon bisexual character is exclusively gay, that would be bi erasure and we don’t do that shit here. This is especially relevant when it comes to time periods where terminology was different, and labels hadn’t been invented yet/didn’t mean the same things.

I’m trying to write Lizzy in a way that the reader can interpret any way they want! If you want to read her as bi or as a lesbian, that’s fine, I have no hard opinion on the subject! I think it makes a lot of sense that she’s bi, I think that there’s a case for her being a lesbian who’s had to deal with some hardcore compulsory heterosexuality.

However, Sybil is my character and therefore I do get to say what she is, and she is a lesbian. Stone cold homosexual. Again, not that it matters, I just like saying it.

Lizzy and Sybil’s romance isn’t a full-on slow burn per se, but I’m really enjoying building it up here brick-by-brick. At this point, she and Lizzy have been friends for a long time and already know each other really well, so the “to lovers” part can kind of come into play early, but I’m not going to give it all away at once- where would the fun be in that?

Let’s talk about Verity. Madame LaChance if you’re nasty. Verity, of course, means truth, and la chance is French for luck. I kind of wanted her to be straight up called “Lady Luck” but that was a bit TOO hokey, even for me. I wanted there to be an auntie-like side character, and I said to myself, what if there was a character who was like, all the good, lighthearted parts of Grell and Madame Red without any of the “oh btw I’m insane/also a serial killer”. I thought it’d be funny if she was sort of a go-between, having friendships with both Sybil & Lizzy as well as Ciel & Sebastian without any of them being aware of it. She became a bigger part of the story than I’d originally intended- she sort of stole my heart, maybe she’ll steal yours too.

She’s a little mysterious, but I can promise you she is a normal human. She’s just very… unique, I guess you could say. No more spoilers.

I’m being sort of vague about the club and what it’s called and what it looks like, there’s a lot more about it in a future chapter, don’t worry. Also, Madame refers to Ciel as Monsieur Phénix and Sebastian as Monsieur Corbeau. That’s French for phoenix and raven respectively. Stage names. Code names. C'est très dramatique. (No, I don’t actually speak French, beyond some very basic words and phrases.)

I hate to admit it, but I felt woefully out of my element while writing this part and I'm not 100% happy with how it came out I knew I wanted to have some reason to show Sebastian and Ciel going about their day-to-day lives, but I was also struck by the lack of, like, drama or action so far in the story. I fell back on the old adage of “write what you know” and had the boys not solving crime per se (there will be time for that later) but perhaps avenging somebody. I don’t think Ciel will ever give up his vengeful nature, whether its on his own behalf or someone else’s. And for Sebastian, it’s just bad business, and we can’t have that, can we?

There are a whole two paragraphs from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott in this next scene. I don’t know if that book is meant to be sad, but it made me terribly melancholy when I read it as a kid. Also, there I go again referencing literature. I pulled the same trick in next week’s chapter too, which I didn’t even realise I was repeating until I’d already done it. Oops.

“-And nobody saw Beth wipe the tears off the yellow keys, that wouldn't keep in tune, when she was all alone. She sang like a little lark about her work, never was too tired for Marmee and the girls, and day after day said hopefully to herself, "I know I'll get my music some time, if I'm good."

"There are many Beth’s in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind.”

I wanted Lizzy to be reading aloud in this scene and this reference jumped out at me when I was trying to think of books that existed at the time and that characters this age might have access to. Beth of course is short for Elizabeth, and Lizzy’s arc in this story is about her becoming her own person in a lot of ways, or like, realising who she is, and this quote about Beth feeling like she’s in everyone’s shadow and only exists to do things for other people seemed really appropriate.

There’s a little more insight into Simeon- I drew the photograph described in the scene so you could get an idea of what Simeon looks like. I really like writing Simeon. He’s such a Good Dad. I mean, he’s bound by his word to be a good dad, but he really loves Sybil so much and wants her to be happy. But there’s also so much going on beneath the surface. I know most of you have figured out his true nature by now, but I hope that I still have the ability to surprise you in the long run when it comes to him.

Once again, thanks for reading! Comments and questions are always welcome, and I’ll see you all again next week! Special shout-out to vandorttranslations, who is translating this story into Russian as we go! It will never not be amazing to me that someone feels strongly enough about my work to undertake such a task!

-lord_is_it_mine

[adultswim2021]

!!!EMERGENCY POST!!!

Sometimes I forget to cover a thing, so I add the phrase “EMERGENCY POST” to the top of the post to indicate that. So, without further adude:

Tim & Eric Nite Live #1: “Delicious Pizza” | November 6, 2007 - 10:00PM | S01E01 Aired on superdeluxe.com

Folks, I messed up. While this blog was always meant to be more about the proper television content of the Adult Swim original comedy ecosphere, I was planning to at least touch on some of the web-only content. While covering it in-depth wasn’t going to be a requirement I could work with, I was, however, planning to make an exception for Tim & Eric Nite Live. But I didn’t think about formally making sure I wasn’t gonna miss it until it was too late. I falsely remembered that the series started sometime midway through season two, rather than a few weeks before season two. I’m so sorry. But, being a spin-off somewhat of Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! I’ve decided to count this, and I’ve decided to do a brief run of posts catching up with this series so I can weave the few remaining 2007 episodes where they actually belong on the timeline. 

Tim and Eric Nite Live is an achievement. It’s one of the funniest things they’ve ever done. How can two Pennsylvanians, such a universally reviled demographic of people, be so goddamn effortlessly funny? It boggles my mind.

This is basically a public access show for the internet. It’s clearly influenced by their own love of public access shows. A lot of people from Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job showed up to participate in this. You had Richard Dunn, showing up to get shaved (sometimes played by the real Richard Dunn, but briefly and absurdly played by Zach “big time” Galifianakis” for a brief stretch), You had David Liebe Hart performing music and interjecting way too much from the sidelines (which yields some of the show’s funniest moments, nearly derailing the fabricated trainwreck into a real one). 

This one opens up with a wonderfully elaborate intro sequence, which makes the show seem like an attempt at a slick news-magazine show. What we get instead is an endless small-talk segment that is clearly paid advertisement for Papa John’s Pizza. To clarify: they aren’t actually getting paid by Papa John’s they are just doing their goddamn best to sincerely sell the idea that they might be. They are so good at laying it on thick. Tim decreeing “I’ve never seen anything like this” regarding the Papa John's website is hysterical.  

Other memorable moments: Tim backhandedly insulting We Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which was actually being advertised on the front page of Super Deluxe’s web page. I’ve done a very poor job of approximating what it might have looked like if you were watching this web broadcast on the front page of the site. It’s on top of this write-up. I tell you, streaming this show was hellish at the time. I remember sitting through entire episodes of the show and just watching all of my friends comment on it in an AIM chatroom while it buffered endlessly for me, so I only got to see a few snippets here and there as it aired live. 

It really was live, too. They took Skype calls from fans, and treated them poorly. My favorite call is a cute girl named Kate who DLH immediately starts hitting on (he nearly gives her his phone number only to be cut off by Tim & Eric). She refers to “Jayne and Wan” Skyler which prompts an immediate hang-up from Tim, incensed that she got the names wrong. 

Another memorable bit is DJ Doug Pound presenting the mostly lame Tim & Eric cover song contest. This bit ends with Doug very sillily walking into the camera as he leaves, causing a huge disruption in our visual experience of the show. Tim scolds him for doing an extra bit of comedy that the show did not need. 

It’s important to note: Tim & Eric eventually released higher-quality versions of these that are in roughly DVD quality. From what I can tell they are uncut but with one exception: this first episode is missing around a minute’s worth of footage towards the beginning. My guess is that their own high-quality archive of the stream failed, but since they had the opening sequence as a pre-recorded video they just stitched that to the front of their incomplete archive. If you find the lower-quality version online, it has a SuperDeluxe network bug in the corner. This is the more complete version. I made a composite version a long time ago but I don’t know if I have it handy anymore. If I find it, maybe I’ll throw it up online sometime?

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

Web!Martin.... Oh boy. Gonna shake the hornet’s nest with this one, but I’ve spent like three days on this editing and re-editing, and I’m finally satisfied with my kind of an essay at this point. 

So, here’s a deep dive as to why I think Web!Martin has merits. (Scroll to the bottom of my essay for my TLDR). 

Introduction

First, to get some stuff out of the way:

Do I think Martin is a sleeper agent? Do I think that he has been manipulating Jon this entire time or even in just season 5 for the games of the Web? Do I think he's a bunch of spiders in a Martin suit? Do I think he's regards the Mother as his Mother and accepts that he is her Son? Is Martn actively Webby? 

No. Absolutely not. None of the above. The Martin we know is the Martin we began with, just with a bunch of trauma and has gained the ability to set his boundaries.

I find the idea of sleeper agent Martin or something similar to be very counterintuitive to the overall narrative. Not only is TMA about choices, and to have Martin be a sleeper agent would be to deny all of Martin's choices this season in particular, but it doesn't really lead to much. At best it's a gotcha and a surprise at worst it's making literally every interaction between Jon and Martin, with Martin himself, and so on mean nothing for the sake of one twist and make it sad. It's not fun in long term, and so at the end of the day, I trust Jonny and Alex as writers more than that. (Plus we already did the "person is replaced" thing).

Does Martin being a manipulator actively mean that he is a Web avatar?

Short answer, no. 

Long answer, I made a post awhile back, and while it was for fandom things, I think it applies well here. What power you choose to align yourself with isn’t necessarily something you’d fully commit to. It is just, if you were an avatar and willing to hurt others for your own gain, what would you find yourself most aligned with.  What I mean by that, just because Martin lies and manipulates doesn’t mean that he is Web, however, manipulation is a tool does fit well with the Web, and if he were to choose to align himself to that, I think he could be Webby. However, he is not necessarily a Web avatar because he has no motivation to hurt people. 

That being said I do think Martin would be a good fit for the Web if he wanted to be, and I think there will be a point in the narrative that there is a potential that he could become one, even if he does not necessarily choose to be in the end. 

Let’s talk about it.

Evidence

I think the best way to describe Web!Martin on my end is this: if Martin had an inclination to be an avatar, he would be the Web because everything from his aesthetics to his skillsets line up with the Web, but he does not have any reason to be Webby and in fact, at the very least as of MAG169, should actively be against the Web’s goals. 

But that doesn’t mean his connection to the Web hasn’t been heavily foreshadowed or built up. Not all of these are of the same level, I admit that, so I’m just gonna bold the ones that are the most important.  These aren’t in any particular order. 

-For season 1 subtext, said he liked spiders In This First Appearance MAG22, in MAG38 Jon says that Martin gives them lectures on the importance of spiders for the environment, and MAG39, “it’s just that whatever web these statements have caught you in, well, I’m there too.” 

-IN MAG79, his poem has a line in it that goes, “"the threads of people walking, living, loving" which is very Web-like. 

-During the Web statement he read in season 3, he said “that wasn’t so bad, actually!” (MAG110) when he finished after showing open disdain for the others he read. The only other statement he didn’t think was bad to read was the Lonely one (MAG108), a power he canonical has ties to. 

-The only person in the show so far of the main cast that has had direct contact with Annabelle Cane. The only other people that have had contact with her are her victims (Creature Feature, MAG110) or her people she used as tools (Web Development, MAG123). 

-Let himself be guided to put the tapes on top of the coffin when the tapes, which have shown a direct association with both the Web and the Eye. 

- Martin’s “lo-fi charm” and “retro-aesthetic” (various) versus Annabelle “She dressed like a vintage clothing store exploded on her” (MAG69)

-Uses lying and manipulation as his main tactic against people and is acknowledged that manipulation is a skillset of his. By Jonah mostly, but he was able to successfully manipulate both Peter and Jonah. 

-In MAG117, he said "I’m not afraid for me, though. Isn’t that weird? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be safe, like my plan’s not dangerous, but it’s, it’s mine. This last couple of years, I’ve always been running, always hiding, caught in someone else’s trap, but, but now it’s my trap, and, well, I think it’ll work. I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but it felt good weaving my own little web." and he then added after it with "oh good lord is Martin becoming some sort of spider person', no, Jon, just an expression.” 

-Martin having a bad relationship with his mother versus Mother of Puppets.

-The Web and the Desolation actively dislike one another (MAG139), and fire is Martin’s most hated pain (MAG169). 

-Martin is the primary investigator in Recluse (MAG59), Arachnophobia (MAG16), and was the one to find and give the Cracked Foundation (MAG114) to Jon. All of which are Web statements. 

-The delivery of the table and the lighter were technically both given to Martin since he was the one who talked to Breekon and Hope. 

-Martin was the first one to mention the Web lighter in season 5 in MAG162. 

What Does This Mean

Now I will admit none of these things on their own mean Web!Martin. They’re something you might describe a Web!avatar yes, but not Martin on his own (like I said just because Martin can be a manipulator doesn’t mean he is a Web avatar).

In fact, with elements like Martin finding fire his least favorite pain, I adore the meta on Martin’s trauma about giving himself up for other people led to him disliking fire and the lack of care from his mother, also leading to that. It is an excellent metaphor that fits incredibly well with his character. That being said, these factors can coexist. Martin disliking fire can both be a metaphor for his own self-destruction for the sake of others and be hints toward Web!Martin. 

HOWEVER, that all being said, even if these moments on their own don’t mean Web!Martin proof, I find it a bit unreasonable to entirely dismiss all of this either. There are too many coincidences lining up with the Web to not be intentional. It could be a red herring of course, but if it is a red herring.....well, Jonny put a hella of a lot of effort into making the Web!Martin red herring considering how much of his little details align so well with the small and big details of the Web. 

But assuming that this info does align together in all its Webiness... does this mean Web!Martin? 

Again, at the moment, I don’t think Martin is actively Webby. 

At his heart, Martin wants to do two things: 1) Protect Jon and 2) Protect as many other innocents he can in the process. 

As ironic as it is: "I want to find out what's going on. I want to save Jon. I want everyone to be fine and, you know what? If we were all happy that wouldn't actually be the end of the world” and “I want them to be safe. I need him to be okay” are basically the sum of Martin’s motivations from here to now. Martin wants a happy ending. And he’ll use whatever tools he can to do that. 

So asking questions from dangerous people like Simon Fairchild? For the protection of the world from what he thought was from the Extinction.

Burning up statements and burning up the cabin? The Desolation would like that, if it wasn’t for the fact he does so to decrease the fear in the world. 

And manipulating others? Peter? Jonah? Both of these weren’t to cause fear. They were at their heart to help others. 

Using the tools that the powers use does not mean you’re of that power. Martin’s most effective tool is to manipulate others bc they underestimate him or they trust him to do what needs to be done. People tend to have a single view of him. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have other tactics, but with both Peter and Elias, it’s clear he knows how to use others’ egos against them. 

Season 5 and Web!Martin

This ALL being said...... Season 5 is a lot about the nature of power (what to do with it and what it means to use it) and what you can do in inherently toxic systems. We just learned that killing its leaders does nothing when the system itself is built to actively hurt others. That smiting doesn’t actively make things better. The Web is actively doing something at the moment and possibly with the Distortion as well that will probably hurt Jon and Martin. 

But..... 

I’m worried about the possibility that the Web can promise a world with a happy ending like Martin always wanted and with no other options within the world, Martin chooses to let himself become a tool for the Web. Now to make this clear: Does Web!Martin give a happy ending or even a better world? No. Absolutely not. Can the Web possibly promise to give him the power to get a happy ending? Depends on if Martin will believe it.

If Web!Martin is a thing, it would be in doing so What He Thinks would be in both of their best interests and most importantly as his lowest point and final resort. That he stops believing that they have power to change the world on their own. When he believes he has no power left and all he can do to make the world better is to go to the one source that always seems to understand what’s going on. Because as of yet, he doesn’t have the motivations to be a Web avatar, but we’re slowly creeping into territory where he might think it is necessary to be one. 

(We already had best case scenario where the Web asks Martin to join him and Martin says no. He could say no again, of course, but I don’t know if the Web will be as understanding of his reluctance in time). 

For me, Web!Martin is on the same level of tragedy as Jon being the Archivist. Yes, there would be choices, but Martin would have been actively been manipulated by the Web just as much as Jon would be hurt by the Eye, even if it’s for entirely different reasons. He would be used as a tool in a greater game. Jon wants to be a good person. Martin wants to have a happy ending. We already know Jon’s desire to help the people around him has gotten him multiple marks. I can definitely see a world where Martin’s desire for a happy ending is used against him by the Web. 

I can see a world where Martin lies to Jon because he thinks that’s what’s best for the two of them. I can see a world where he doesn’t lie to Jon but still accepts the power of the Web anyway despite Jon not thinking it’s a good idea. I don’t think either HAVE happened yet. We aren’t at that point, but... 

Whatever the case, whatever plan the Web may have it highly involves one Mister Blackwood and his Archivist. And for the Web’s plans, Martin plays a key part of in it. 

Other Theories and How Web Martin Plays Into It

So, do I think that’s where the plot will end? With Web!Martin betraying Jon bc he thinks it will be best? Not really. I think a lot of the point will also be that while Martin fits the Web well, his inherent desire for a better world makes it so he’s not an avatar. It’s the same points I made before: aesthetically, Martin fits the Web well and could be a good avatar in association, but he doesn’t WANT to hurt innocents. And ultimately, no matter his potential goals, Martin loves and cares for the world and especially for Jon. There could be a mistake in there made by Martin, where the Web has his clutches in him, but I don’t see a world where that is his ultimate conclusion. 

I’ve also seen a theory where Martin uses Webby shenanigans to his advantage against Annabelle Cane. Where the manipulator becomes the manipulated and the tragedy is the sacrifice of himself for the sake of a happy ending he’ll never see. 

I’m interested in seeing if Jonah making Martin the backup Archivist goes anywhere, especially with the uncertain connection between the tapes, the Eye, the Web, and the Archivist. Does this have anything to do with why Martin felt like he had to listen to Jon? Does this have anything to do with how he slapped Jon out of a statement? Could both of these elements also have something to do with the Web? 

I’m also very intrigued on what Web Development was doing when they have something called a “story-spinner” and yet when the story-spinner was described it sounded almost exactly like an Archivist, but instead when you give a story, the spinner killed someone. Could the story-spinner have anything to do with the previous back-up Archivist? Could they just be entirely separate things? 

Who knows what it all means? I don’t. That’s why I’m not discounting anything, especially with something that has so much set-up and subtext as Web!Martin. Whether Web!Martin means full avatar or not isn’t clear to me, but I’m taking any and all potential red-tape moments and running with them. If it means being pulled by a red-herring, so be it, but I won’t dismiss anything until proven otherwise. As long as Martin wants to do good and have a happy ending, I don’t think the Web can fully get him at least not in the ways that count. But I won’t stop investigating the narrative on what these elements could lead up to. 

Conclusion 

This post was made in frustration. I admit that. There is a distaste for Web!Martin that has been approaching the fandom that I don’t entirely understand. I’m not saying you have to like it, heck I admit, I could be entirely wrong. I also agree it’s a bit annoying that every interaction that Martin and Jon have come up under scrutiny for Martin potentially being Webby by the fandom. That’s why I started this post as I did because I don’t find the narrative of “Martin Is The Evil Bad Guy Manipulating Jon From The Beginning” all that compelling and wanted to put that to rest early. 

I do, though, find it frustrating dismissing all elements of Web!Martin because of this. At the end of the day, I find there are too many elements in the text to entirely dismiss it and an outright rejection of Web!Martin can potentially lead to dissatisfaction with the narrative. I make this post as an explanation and exploration of my thoughts, and a way to show why so many fans like the Web!Martin theory. Take it or leave it, it’s fine, but I wanted to gather all my thoughts clearly in one place rather than in a bunch of snippy posts. I hope I’ve done that well enough. 

TLDR: Web!Martin for me is a potential, a threat, and a possibility, but not something I think is actively happening at the moment. Martin would make a good fit for an avatar if he wanted to be, but at the moment, has no motivation to do so. However, with the ever decreasing options to save the end of the world, I can see a situation where Web!Martin is a thing that he actively thinks could save it. 

That being said, Martin is inherently a character that wants to do GOOD in the world, and as long as that’s the case, even if that motivation is used against him, I don’t think he will be proven wrong that the world can be good and he has the power to make it so, or at the very least, I don’t think his journey will end on a dower note, even if it is a tragic one. The tragedy will be in the cost of saving the world or something similar, and whether or not Web!Martin is the case, I don’t think that will change. That being said, there are many potential theories on what could happen, and I don’t want to miss any of them, Web or not. This post has been made in somewhat defense as to why people like Web!Martin and continue to theorize about it, but also in reassurance that even if we do get Web!Martin that it doesn’t mean a destruction of Martin’s character.

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

[theravencroft]

Survivalists and the Proletariat Apocalypse

This began life as a Metafilter post and has been cleaned up and lightly edited.

(To me there is a difference between prudence like having some canned goods and stapled and flashlights and whatnot and planning to survive the EMP burst with a dedicated SUV. There's prudence, as in preparing for a storm and bad local events, and then there's pretending you're going to be Immortan Joe and not one of the people begging for water).

I love making fun of preppers.

I think part of it is obviously the just world fallacy at work.

"When the hordes come for me, I will simply shoot them. But I'm just built different."

And some of it is fending off the fear of death and oblivion with telling yourself you are already prepared for every situation.

And there's a good chunk that's what I'll call the Libertarian Fallacy where every Libertarian assumes he will be the triumphant Captain of Industry and not one of the Voluntarily Indentured Servants carrying his palanque. It's like the old Bob The Angry Flower where the Captains of Industry get to Galt's Gulch and realize *somebody* forgot to invent the labor saving robots to do the dirty work like tilling the soil.

But part of it is when something doesn't happen for a while, people assume it didn't happen at all or at least not recently. It's the old "oh well if measles is so bad, what did they do before vaccines, huh?" Well, sometimes they just fucking died. Like it's not that long ago that even in very modern industrialized countries people had families of 8-12 kids and it wouldn't be all that surprising if maybe 6 or 7 made it to adulthood. Because they just died. Of stuff. Of Things. There was a Twitter that would tweet medieval death records and it was kind of funny because it's like "guy fell in a river and died." "Guy got hit on the head and died." "Guy got run over by a horse and died."

We're not really used to that anymore because of this invisible web of medical technology and public health and sanitation.

I obviously don't have a rigorous demographic breakdown of preppers but I suspect a lot of these guys aren't training for, say, the rigors of "No power tools at all," old school, walk behind the plow farming. Can you imagine the heart attacks and strokes? And even the pharmaceuticals a rich prepper can get don't compare to what a small town Walgreens has on hand for an ordinary Tuesday, not to mention the weird stuff they can order.

Oops, your precious kid to repopulate the planet has a rare birth defect. Used to be a 20 minute surgery, now you just die.

Got bitten by a snake? Ah, yes, I too remember antivenom. Would be great to have some of that now. But it turns out it wasn't profitable to produce so it was impossible to find even before total collapse. And even if we didn't have antivenom we could run fluids and machines to support your organs but we don't have that now, you just die.

Oh it turns out without mosquito control, mosquito born disease is a lot more common. And if you get the wrong one, you just die.

I mean how many totally well meaning people buy land in the country thinking they are going to run a little hobby farm and it is going to be so cool and they will have big colorful produce not like the crap you get in stores and then oops it turns out farming is hard work and it never ever ends and honestly a lot of times, you know, it takes a few crop seasons to really get anything going. And I know it's not really cool to admit, but a whole lot of modern farming is huge agribusiness companies with modern chemicals and whatnot for things like pests. Subsistence farming is hard, brutal labor where you barely make enough to survive until you screw up and die.

Yeah, yeah, organic, but lots of times farms fail and you just die.

Until relatively recently it was pretty common for entire regions and even countries to have massive famines because the crops failed and you Just Died.

Good thing we have modern distribution networks to get wheat from, I dunno, China when the Midwest crops fail because because there's no Army Corps of Engineers maintaining the levees anymore so a good chunk of the farm belt is underwater and never will be above ground again. Oh we don't have that anymore? What do we do?

Oh, we just die.

I mean, let's be real, most of these guys aren't picturing themselves as stocking up to spend the rest of their lives being an old timey sodbuster scraping out a living. They probably don't outright say it publicly (some do I'm sure), but the guns are so they don't have to do the manual labor. That's for the slaves/completely totally voluntarily indentured contract labor (depends how Libertarian they are).

They picture it more like, you know, because I was the one who was smart enough to get all these guns, then people will have to come to me, and THEY will do the work, and I will sit on the throne and have big ideas. It's being the Ideas Guy for the post apocalypse.

I would wager not many of these guys spend a lot of time studiously learning to spin and knit and weave or mastering growing flax or cotton or what have you to make cloth to turn into clothes. What do you think happens when your sicknasty BDUs that only True Operators wear rip from stem to stern? Goddamn clothes, nobody makes them to last anymore. Good thing there's a massive manufacturing and distribution network where child labor makes plenty of this in my size that wind up in my local Cabela's and...oh, I forgot, that doesn't exist anymore. Okay, let's see, we have 500,000 rounds of .223 and 55 years of MREs and...goddamn it Gary did you forget the go bag with all the clothes? Well how are we gonna survive? Winter is coming. How do we stay warm without clothes or blankets?

Oh, we just die.

That's not even getting into the monied classes. Do you think THEY are signing up for the manual labor. It is kind of funny imagining the billionaires emerging from their bunkers into the brave new world. Imagine Zucc swinging a scythe to reap grain or Bezos spending 8 hours a day bent over to pick cotton to eventually make clothes. Or the billionaire CFO and airport novelist teaming up to hand-dig the irrigation trench because we are getting low on stockpiled seeds and this is going to be it.

It's absurd. It's like the Hitchhiker's Guide ship entirely full of useless people.

The would-be Immortan Joe has a shot but how in the hell are you still going to be a billionaire when your money is a line in a bank database and "money" and "banks" and "databases" don't exist anymore. You're a computer programmer, dipshit, that requires electricity at the very least.

No, no, no. What they are picturing is, basically, the Proletariat Rapture. "I will retire to my comfortably appointed bunker where I will still get to be a big shot business guy and take meetings and be extremely important and all my guards with explosive collars to assure their loyalty will call me sir, and then something will happen and all the homeless and poor people I see on the streets of San Francisco and all the other poor people, the rabble, the useless, (include the races they don't like as appropriate), will be gone, preferably violently, with lots of suffering. And then me and my buddies will emerge, all 12 of us, all Big Shot Business Guys, will take our robot cars into San Francisco for Meetings and we finally, FINALLY won't have to risk soiling our $5000 hand made Italian dress shoes (new Chucks, in Zucc's case, man of the people) stepping in a pile of human shit. And everything will be exactly the same as it is now including a global electronic trade network and people thinking "apps" are life-changingly important, but even better, because the people I don't like are all dead, and we can finally settle in to the most important work of all, disrupting the convenience store industry by putting a little kiosk in the lobby of apartment building with some essentials, like a Bodega but see there's an app and it's automated."

That's not even getting into the lack of knowledge transfer!

We can't even get people to believe things like "okay so a lot of illness is caused by tiny things you can't see, and believe it or not the best treatment isn't thoughts and prayers or willpower or even bootstraps, it's covering your mouth and nose when you're sick or cough or sneeze and it's rubbing your hands together enthusiastically in clean running water with a mild detergent of some kind smeared on them" NOW!

By the shock collar thing isn't a joke. There's an article where the writer goes to one of these rich guy survivalist conference/seminar things and the conversation is pretty much literally...

"Okay so obviously we hire these mercenaries and private security and they've got the guns and we've got the money but, you know, how do we make sure they stay loyal"

"Well...you could try treating them really well and also including their families and taking care of them, so they have an incentive besides a paycheck, build actual loyalty."

*silence*

*hysterical laughter*

"Nice joke but seriously like I saw this movie where they had explosive collars and if they didn't like you or you turn against them or whatever, they blow your head off, does that actually exist yet?'

Say what you will about the robber barons of the 1920s but at least they realized some basics like "give back to the community a smidge so they don't remember they outnumber you" and "generally speaking our beloved capitalism requires other people to have at least a single wafer thin mint of money so the whole thing keeps going." These guys are like "okay but I could have all the money and also more capitalism enabling me to have even more money?"

Okay okay, work with me.

You are Reebok (some shoes they gave you, it said Reebok, that's your name) Smithandwesson (your gun, which you were issued at birth, as this is post apocalyptic Libertopia). You are a gate guard for the Republic of Cleveland, which is a thing, and isn't really a republic, but since you were born post-Event you don't have much of an understanding of what a Republic even is. But you have a job and that is okay because you have a weapon and a bunk in the barracks and you are basically fed and supplied. Maybe if you fantasize, you think about running one of the outer satrapys some day. But you are not a Founder. The idea of Moving Fast and Breaking Things seems odd, because things are hard to fix and replace.

You don't have an inkling or idea of what "shareholder value" is. You poor dumb son of a bitch. You will never earn incredible returns and work a 4 Hour Workweek and retire at 35 to give TED talks about ayahuasca and microdosing hallucinogens to crush code and design Wireframes for cutting edge AR devices to stream Burning Man and meet new angel investors.

You know some of these words, but they are words and the important ones are different for you.

Your job is actually kind of interesting. You don't really make the final decision about who gets to be a citizen or a concubine or a slave or even a fellow gate guard. You just kind of do a screening to see, you know, does this person seem more or less healthy and useful. Because even glorious Cleveland requires a certain trade of useful labor of some kind in exchange for the hassle of getting you clothes and food and shelter, all of which are in short supply.

Sometimes you vaguely wonder who Cleve was and why this is his Land, but not deeply, more daydreaming between people approaching, petitioners, traders, madmen, the occasional raid. It's interesting enough, every day is a little different, and it beats the poor wretches who toil in the field. You don't get to do deep evaluations but you kind of pride yourself on deciding who gets to enter. Really deciding who will be a future citizen or slave and who gets gently herded away or shot at or shot depending on a variety of factors. You're not a murderer exactly but killing is a casual decision, sometimes a matter of self defense, sometimes an act of compassion like putting down a mad animal.

Zucc or Jack Dorsey or Jeff Bezos have emerged from their bunkers tanned and rested and ready to deliver a ton of value to the post-apocalyptic shareholders, especially now that the idea of "national government" is gone. Free at last to disrupt, unhindered.

But...

There's not a Ted Talk in sight. You wonder whose job it was to maintain the ATM network. Jim Cramer isn't returning your calls. Actually, you can't get any calls. Nobody seems interested in having a breakout session. There are definitely NOT butts in seats at the office, much less meetings or presidential runs. Elon is unreachable. Weirdly, nobody seems to know how the whole Mars thing is going. Or what Mars is.

Over a period of time even the most promising 30 under 30 begins to break down and admit that okay, I cannot find a single sushi restaurant of any kind.

Nobody seems to offer you a kombucha.

There is plenty of raw water but there also seem to be a LOT of people dying of waterborne disease, which is odd, since this is the most pure and organic and unfiltered water possible, especially since toxins seem to be unknown. Nobody knows what they are anyway or that Gwyneth had a great way to shit them all out and get it over with.

Using acai, isn't that cool? It's a superfood.

Through time and necessity and plot device, Bezos or Zucc or Dorsey have arrived in front of you, reduced finally to asking for refuge or sustenance or food it doesn't have to be organic but it would be nice, you know.

There is an air of desperation about them but you know enough to put it down to hunger and theist and some loss of status perhaps. But you steer the conversation to the thing you really care about: what skills do they bring? How can they be of use?

They do seem to think they are extremely important but don't seem to be able to tell you what they actually do. You sort of get the idea of "thought leadership," But telling other people how to be in charge when you don't have a rifle, much less 300 mounted troops, seems odd. Why would they listen? They plead with you but you don't really get why it's important all voices be represented in the conversation about Star Wars, even those we find loathsome. You didn't even know the Stars were at War much less who they were fighting.

But it's kind of fascinating.

They don't quite sound completely gone but they do seem deeply convinced that they "deliver shareholders value" by optimizing bottom lines and making tough choices.

You snort.

Whether to try the "meat" on Wednesdays, now THAT is a tough choice.

While this is an interesting bit of novelty for a while, you soon grow bored.

Maybe you send them away.

One tells you he is the richest man in the world but seems to be offering you stock options but you can't figure out why you would want the chance to maybe buy some things at a reduced price and then sell them later at a high price if Previous Performance Indicates Future Results which it definitely DOES NOT wink wink.

Maybe you send them onward because they seem reasonably lucid despite being convinced they went to Space as a Real Astronaut, whatever that meant. Many "important" men found out their choice now was to shovel shit or starve. Most shoveled. Some starved.

But you always wonder if you were missing something. It was kind of weird how convinced they were that you should've heard of them or a book of...collected faces, apparently. To say nothing of the very odd man convinced getting a wide array of opinion on the gender of some manner of knight was of life or death importance. Knights were hard to find. And who is Jed I. anyway?

Oh, well, another day on the gate.

[tisthegreatkimiofcourse]

Hi! I'm going through the mabinogi tag and saw one of your posts, I'm new to the game and was wondering if you could give some tips?

-draws back in fear- Me???

Here are a few off the top of my head

1. You’re gonna start with a shit ton of quests. Relax. Don’t touch any of the quests in the “Event” tab. They aren’t worth your time as a beginner. Focus on “Beginner” quests under the basic tab.

2. I don’t know which species or talent you chose, but for the beginner I think Human and Close Combat are your best bet. Some skills are incredibly difficult to rank in the future once you are strong. One of these is Windmill, very useful, having 2x exp is good and helps. 

3. http://wiki.mabinogiworld.com/view/Wiki_Home. One of the best websites to go to. Saw this cute outfit and you want to know how to get it? Looking for certain monsters but don’t know which dungeon to use? Be warned, some spoilers do lurk but they usually warn you.

4. While your cumulative level is below 1000, you can rebirth daily. Make use of this advantage, it allows you to constantly level up and get AP, which is what you spend to rank skills and make you stronger. Once you breach 1000, you can rebirth once a week. 

5. As goddamn obnoxious Tin’s beginner classes are, make sure you go through them. The combos can be pretty useful. 

6. You’ve got to explore. Mabinogi is a pretty big game, not huge like Skyrim or anything, but there is a lot to see and do. Mabi isn’t a game you breeze through, it’s a lazy almost grindy game. Take your time on storylines, appreciate characters, work hard doing what skills you like. 

7. You can: ferment wine, cook, sheer sheep, collect spider webs to weave silk, go fishing, participate in a fashion contest, auction, jousting, archaeological digs, escape mazes underneath the desert, fight dragons, ride hot air balloons or go rafting, and much more. There may be times you get bored, but I’ve been playing since 2009 and I have hardly reached my Mabi potential. 

Hope that helped, my dude.

[a-weird-blog-in-general]

In the Heights God Au

Yep. I went and did this, and it’s long. And it’s a bit of a mess. And long. This is going to be Part 1 of hopefully one 2, to avoid making this post too long. And of course, you are all free to take your own creative liberties with this; what I’ve chipped in is only what I’d like to see, nothing more.

Overall this may seem like a jumbled mess and I'm sorry for that.

The way I have it, each character is going to have their God based on an already existing deity/myth, and they all vary in origin and cultural influence. Cause I wanted to do more than just Greek mythology. They all reside in varying places in the world too.

Usnavi => God of Stories and Storytelling

Based on Anansi the Storytelling spider of the Caribbean

Resides on an a relatively small, floating island (it's his island), all pretty and stuff, and it's spider central (but like cute spiders not those big hairy ones Usnavi would probably freak if he saw one of those)

The spiders provide the stories Usnavi collects; if there's one he really likes he'll go out and get the story himself.

He met Vanessa by chance one day, had a conversation and hit it off and he fell so hard for her; he’s made it his mission to seek Vanessa out and see her again.

He weaves the web to catch Vanessa when the wind blows by, but she always slips through => he tries to fashion better webs; it never works out.

His little island tends to orbit where Sonny lives so he can be close and watch over little god Sonny.

Creative liberty => Usnavi could totally have multiple arms if you wanted that in a design; I think that’d be really cool

Vanessa => Goddess of Wind and Flight

Vanessa lives in the clouds and sky, that being her domain, so she can fly and be free.

She would be based off the Aztec wind god Quetzalcoatl => light and beautiful dress, but strong and bright colors and she's adorned with gorgeous feathers.

She flies across the sky, carrying the winds with her where she goes => She can just fly on her own

She likes Usnavi, and thinks it kind of funny that they keep playing this game of “Catch the Wind,” but once she starts falling for Usnavi oh boy => She blames Carla for it (you’ll see why)

Sonny => God of the Sun

He resides in an open tower made of clay with plenty of openings for him to fly out wherever he wants

Based off the Incan god of the sun Nuit with plenty of Inca cultural influence in dress manner =>  I love the idea of Sonny having physical wings here

Bright and energetic, a protector of the people, but hot-headed (get it?)

He kinda really very much loves the moon and wants to meet her and see her and have a conversation with her => Can't really have time to do any of that because the moon and the sun can't be in the sky at the same time; he tries anyway => Sonny chases Nina across the sky the moment the sun is supposed to rise to catch at least a glimpse of Nina before she disappears for the day

He'll never actually catch her, though

Nina => Goddess of the Moon and the Minds

Most definitely based off the Greek god Athena => Much Greek influence in design

Resides in a Greek style pantheon, which happens to be in a mountain

Sonny chases her to catch her, but she ends up falling in love Benny who does catch her

She wants to have some freedom from the confines that Kevin has placed upon her

Pretty solid relationship with Lincoln even though Kevin disagrees; Lincoln can always cheer her up somehow and does indirectly help Nina and Benny hook up (You’ll see)

Benny => The Mortal who Caught the Moon

He's a mortal who falls in love with the Moon, but he can never see her because she's too far away and he can't stay awake long enough to draw her attention

So he sings to the moon until he can no longer stay awake (Lincoln provides the slightest drop of inspiration, leaving the rest to Benny) => Nina hears it and looks for the source and she does find it => She leaves a note

Every night they leave each other gifts and notes and they slowly fall in love => one of those gifts is knowledge, specifically the knowledge of how to catch a god => using the other gifts he crafts a makeshift net, everything held together by a single string made of his love (Carla and Lincoln help with that, you'll see how later) => He catches Nina with the net, pulling her down as gently as possible cause that's a god you've got Benny a pure divine angelic being you better be careful and they're adorable together and they kiss, sealing a bond between them

Lincoln => God of Death

Resides at a shrine located in a graveyard => Graves of the Nameless; people/mortals come to pay their respects to Lincoln and the dead unknown => He takes the unknown deaths/souls under his wing because he can relate to their loneliness

He is the closest to the mortals and practically in constant contact with them

Inspiration from San/Santa Muerte with a strong cultural influence => contributes to his musicality and isolation

He provides the inspiration for music and art

He creates death as something that is not to be feared, but something to be celebrated => Makes that happen by connecting music and liveliness of cultures to the celebration of death

Kevin’s not the biggest fan of that ideology, and they disagree on the aspect of death and how it should be addressed

Abuela Claudia => Goddess of Heaven and Sky, Lord of Constellations, Mother of the Gods

Inspired by the first Mesopotamian god AnuShe lives everywhere; you ask for her guidance she will just appear

She likes being with the mortals, and often disguises herself as a mortal to check up on the world => bless those doing good and punish those who are not

She takes the souls of the dead and places them as stars in the sky

Also takes time to feed the birds

She foretell events that will occur, but she cannot influence the event in such a way that completely changes the course of fate

The Rosarios => Divine Arcana

Camila => The Empress

Kevin => The Emperor

Camila focuses on health and bounty, values and ethics => Kevin focuses on authority and control => Both serve as judges over the worldInspiration from the tarot arcana of the same name, along with traditional Catholic influences/imagery

Reside in a mountain which inside has the most palace (like a "King Under the Mountain" type of place) and in the center, there's this beautiful grotto and garden with an opening in the ceiling to the sky => that's where Nina is

Kevin built it there to keep Nina close and happy but Nina wants to be freeKevin has so much responsibility it can get overwhelming

Pete => The Boy who Calmed the Sun

Takes inspiration from the demigod Maui => Feel free to take creative liberties in design

Pete's a demigod (in some circles, this can be a bad thing) who receives a from a strange woman (guess who => it's Abuela Claudia helping out fate) asking him to seek out the sun => So Pete goes to find Sonny

Here's why:

Sonny is NOT happy that Nina and Benny are a thing => He's basically lost his only possible chance to have Nina notice him and boy is he salty

So out of anger, he refuses to obey any natural laws and literally starts heating up the whole earth => that's how mortals explain how the earth got deserts

So someone's got to talk some sense into Sonny but he won't let anyone near himHe gets help from Vanessa to be able to find Sonny quickly => Most Gods want to help Pete because no one is benefitting from Sonny’s heatwave

He does find Sonny, but Sonny isn't gonna deal with anyone so he books it => Pete finds a conveniently placed cord, uses it to catch Sonny and ties him down=> So Sonny’s floating in the sky with his hands bound to his sides and he is not happy => He desperately tries to use his powers against Pete in some way but because of Pete’s demigod blood he’s not really affected by any of it

The whole thing that happens is based on the Maui myth about slowing the sun, just without attacking the sun to the point of weakness

They do start to get along on the way back to Sonny’s home => Pete becomes the therapist friend who helps Sonny vent and talks all the anger out

They get back to Sonny’s tower and Nina’s there => she worked around a few rules to be able to talk to the sun => Sonny so desperately wants to be mad at her but he can’t => they talk it out, actually get to know each other, make amends, etc. => Pete you did a good => mortals and Gods are like “whoa damn man you just snagged an angry God out of the sky like whoa”

Carla => Goddess of Love and Matchmaking

Inspired by the Chinese god Yue Lao, who ties the red string of fate around those destined to be together; or people she thinks should be together => fate works the way it does => Normally does the tying after checking with Abuela Claudia on fate’s say in the matter; sometimes she gets an answer, sometimes she doesn’t => Only she can see the stringReally into knitting and crochet => thanks @boopliette !

Whenever two souls end up together, people normally blame Carla => they did for the whole Benny and Nina thing; she’ll never admit that she did tie them together

The two souls she ties together are supposedly soulmates => mortals don’t always follow what she’s made and that’s okay => sometimes people can be a little stupid

Likes being in the thick of humanity with Daniela, mostly cause it’s her job to watch over the soulmates she ties

Daniela => Goddess of Beauty and Femininity

Inspiration from the Egyptian goddess Bastet, Goddess of Felines, women, and beauty

She and Carla go hand in hand => Carla hooks up the people, Daniela plays out the game of life with the two

Daniela sometimes fools mortals and orchestrates the drama that entangles them

Protective of women, but she does it in a subtle way => Blesses them with beauty, gives them confidence, and tries to steer them away from poor choices

Also into cats

She prefers to stay around humanity for the drama; she likes having something to talk about

As I’ve stated before, creative liberties are open! Please, you have all the right to dabble into this with your own ideas and stuff. I’d love that. And hey, if you ever want to talk about this, I’m open for conversation. Part 2 will hopefully come with more of the world stuff; how humanity is, and other little things about being a god/divine.

[corvwase]

Crimson Earth, Pt III

Crimson Earth: The Gauntlet

This is a series I wrote several hundred years ago called Crimson Earth. I'm not even going to start on how much crap is in this and how much work it needs, but the basic idea is there. It started to trail off when the company I was running tanked, and I lost interest in writing for a few years until recently. There's a remote possibility I may reboot it and rewrite the whole thing. Until thin, I hope you can at least try to enjoy Crimson Earth, a post-apocalyptic story set in the American Midwest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moon hung in a vast, black expanse, tinted with purple and streaked with red. Scarlet clouds obscured the pale light now and again, and with the odd flapping of bat wings and the chirping of crickets it seemed to be as any other night.

There were no stars.

The sky, once twinkling with the cheerful blazes of millions of stars, now lay in all its ruin, a mess of thick, polluted air and dying atmosphere. The moon was tainted with blood, rendering the pines below flushed, their pride stripped from them long ago. This bloody war had taken its toll on the world, with trees dying as fast as humans could kill them and entire species wiped out in a matter of days. Massive nuclear blasts rocked the globe, destroying anything and everything it touched. For miles around the only things that survived the fission eruptions were the boulders upon which homes and entire cities once stood.

The luminous sphere suspended in such a sky shed its dying light, watching a small band of humans making their way through the stricken, dead forests below, sighing as it gazed upon yet another group of beings walking to their deaths.

********************

The tiny party weaving through the dead pine forest was a ragtag bunch, each carrying a weapon of some sort. Rifles, machetes, pistols, belts of grenades, the occasional machine gun. They wore dark olive green uniforms, torn and patched in countless places. They were mostly men, with the two women trailing behind with rifles. They were followed by a vanguard of three men with pistols and grenades. The group neared a clearing, setting up positions on both sides of the dirt path that ran through it. They awaited something, or someone. One of the men, apparently the leader, clutched his rifle while motioning for the women to get higher. They scrambled for the trees, slinging their guns over their shoulders and clambering for the positions.

The leader gave a grim smile of satisfaction as he lay down, shifting his rifle to cover the path. The machine gunner hid behind a tree on the other side, accompanied by two men with grenades and knives. The rest were scattered around the area, each ready to spring.

********************

Nord and Web stumbled into the clearing.

They had been hiking all day, knowing they were only getting further away with each step. The camp was left far behind, and there was no hope of survival there anymore. If they returned they would be shot on the spot for tardiness and their bodies hung for the crows as an example to the rest. The two men were tired and hungry; Nord turned to his companion.

“Web, can we just stop? I’m gonna die. Maybe we can pick up when the sun rises.”

Web exhaled slowly and nodded, “Yeah, this is useless. We can start again tomorrow but, like I said before, we aren’t heading back.”

Nord looked around, “Okay…so we can go back when?” he said with an oafish grin.

Web seized his collar, spinning him around. His hot breath smothered Nord, whose eyes were full of fear.

“Because, little man,” Web was irate, “We will die. They will shoot us. They will take our fucking bodies and hang them like Lebb and June. They don’t give a damn about you or I. So shut your trap and go find some firewood.”

Nord gulped and tore away from his grasp. He tripped on a stone and stumbled into the foliage, gathering twigs and sticks. Web gritted his teeth and checked his rifle. He hadn’t cleaned the damn thing in weeks. He’d used it a few times when out on patrol, shooting birds and those two brats who had cut a hole in the fence. He had stood over them, listening to their pleas for mercy. He had ignored them, throwing both into the ditch nearby, full of decaying corpses. Two shots, and they would never annoy him again. Then Nord had come into the picture, a killer if there ever was one. He claimed forty kills within two weeks, when that big execution was going on. God, I’m so done with him, he thought.

Nord came back, glancing over his shoulder. “You know, Web, I don’t think we should camp here. It’s too open, see? Should we move into the forest or what?”

He never knew what hit him. The bullet came flying from the barrel faster than the speed of sound, thudding into the back of his head. He was thrown to the ground, and blood gushed furiously from the wound. Web spun around sharply, spraying the area with bullets as he dashed for cover. The chatter of a machine gun nearby sent him sprawling for the nearest tree. A bullet caught him in the calf and another grazed his neck. He grunted quietly and slumped over.

Two men sprinted into the clearing, hitting his tree. He shot back, holding his rifle out but remaining hidden. The two men ran in separate directions, kneeling and squeezing off shots at random. Web took a deep breath and moved out, aiming at the man on the right. Web ran forward, blood covering his neck, leg searing with pain. He shot the man twice, turning quickly and firing into the other man. The bullet thudded into his stomach. Web gasped, choking on blood. He dropped his gun and fell to his knees.

Six men in green clothing approached him quietly. The leader looked him over.

“It’s about time, buddy. Finally got you.”

Web squinted up at the tall man. The leader bent down slowly, his lean frame silhouetted against the moon,.

“You’ve been runnin’ a long time. You’re done now, so just lie down and go to sleep. Just lie down now.”

Web’s journey earthward ended face down. His rifle and knife were taken and the group moved on. One more body added to the count. This was the rare but present battle–regime vs rebel. Tyranny vs partisan. The confrontations were rare, but ended with the annihilation of either party. The soldiers were usually in packs, hunting for stragglers and food, while the partisans traveled light, with the clothes on their backs and the weapons in their hands.

There were still rebellious thoughts, and they needed to be put down. The Gauntlet must be put down.