#i was going to add smth from their awakening banter but those do something to my brain

[vigilskeep]

aside from questions of anders' and justice's like. autonomy "from" each other can we talk about how clearly anders just fucking misses him. this has tormented me for a decade. like there's a lot of ways you could go with that but man the ways that everyone else around anders can talk about justice like this unfortunate thing that happened /to him/ and you get some quiet moments where it seems like anders has been grieving for /years/ and can't process it out loud because (you know, whatever your personal read on them is) everyone around him acts like it's a. purely negative haunting. and why in the world would he have any sympathy for justice. anyway justanders shipping is pure hell <3

one of the things i love abt having bethany around is that she’s the most compassionate abt justice having been a person anders cared abt. thinking abt this banter always

and also this dialogue from the tranquillity quest

Hawke: This spirit sounds like a useful friend to have.

Anders: He was far better to me than I have been to him. To live outside the Fade, he needed a host. I offered to help him... [...] I thought I was helping my friend. He would have... died, I guess. If that even means anything. And he wanted to help me. He knew what mages have suffered.

Bethany: You tried to help a friend. Surely no harm can come of that.

Anders: I wish I still had your innocence.

there’s other parts of this dialogue that come to mind, he lingers so much over the absence of/alteration of justice with “he... changed” and “he’s gone now. he’s part of me. it’s not like we can... have a conversation” and “he comes out. and he is no longer my friend justice”... anyway the way that anders has been alone since he fled the grey wardens and lirene the only person we know he was talking to pre meeting hawke had never seen him smile and his friend justice is always there with him but now frightening and changed and also unreachable because they can’t truly talk. until hawke showed up had he even gotten to talk abt what happened with justice to anyone? all this for a very sociable guy who has solitary confinement trauma. he even had to leave his cat behind. man