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adistantstarblog · 7 years ago

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Lullaby of the Giant Five

Rated Mature: for language and suggestive content. | Words: 8949 | Chapter: 2 of 2

Read: Lullaby of the Giant 5 - Chapter 1

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Lexa paced back and forth. Coat swirling with each turn. She glanced out the windows at every person who came close to her bus but none of them were the security team she sent out into the campsites to look for Clarke. It was nearly time for the show and they were no closer to finding Clarke than they had been the night before. She sighed and turned her back and started walking toward the back of her bus again. All she needed to complete her look for the show was her warpaint. It took only a few minutes. She had plenty time to wait for Clarke--

“Lexa, you realize this is stupid? Show is over tonight. In the morning we go and get the car and--”

Lexa, hearing those words, spun, “I cannot believe you lost your phone, Anya!” she countered stalking quickly up to her until she was in Anya’s space, “how can I call Raven and have her get Clarke?”

“Wait, whoa,” Anya raised her eyebrows, “first, it's my phone. Second, Raven was my date and not your answering or dating service. Third,” she stressed with a dramatic roll of her eyes. Anya moved back and flopped onto the nearby couch, “I can’t believe you sweated that girl’s number off your hand! The first girl you’ve wanted anything to do with since--”

Eighty thousand people were facing her. In the rapidly shifting white and gold lights of the stage Lexa could see them jumping and screaming as though in slow motion in the dark. Sweat rolled down her body as she made the final jump into the air and landed on one knee in front of the screaming crowd as the last beats of the drums and strains of the music of her song ‘Faded Battalion’ blasted out through the mega speakers tall as a building on each side of her little island in a storm of people. This was their third encore.stage Lexa could see them jumping and screaming as though in slow motion in the dark. Sweat rolled down her body as she made the final jump into the air and landed on one knee in front of the screaming crowd as the last beats of the drums and strains of the music of her song ‘Faded Battalion’ blasted out through the mega speakers tall as a building on each side of her little island in a storm of people. This was their third encore.

They were not going to be allowed another one that night. Gasping deep gulps of air into her lungs security pulled her to her feet and pulled her from the stage amid the roar of the pleading crowd. She hoped it was enough. She hoped it was enough to win the final act on the closing night so she could give these people another two hours of her songs. She caught Anya’s eye as she was being pulled away from the drumset. Anya was a few short steps behind her as Lexa went around the corner of the stage backdrop and down a small set of steps to where she was let go at last to nearly collapse against a concrete wall that supported the stage rigging. Closing her eyes she pulled in more deep breaths, her body shaking and trembling with the exertion from her show. Anya was there and handing her a bottle of water. Lexa took it and opened it and gulped half of it down in one go.

Anya snorted at her, “your warpaint is more drippy than usual.”

“Yeah,” Lexa muttered stopping drinking her water just for a minute to breathe and talk, “go figure. It’s called sweat.” She started gulping the water down again. As she drank with her other hand she started peeling off the long sash and coat. Wow, these things get hot under the lights. Her water gone she closed the bottle and threw it into the nearest recycle bin, “you think we won?” she asked, her heart still pounding erratically. She leaned forward and had her hands on her knees, “Clarke,” she said, the blonde girl had been on her mind the whole show. Clarke who had said she was out there watching. Lexa gave her performance more than her usual, more than her all, knowing that girl was watching tonight, “I have to call Clarke. I have to tell her. I want to tell her I won.”

“That’s what you were so worked up for out there.” Anya snorted; Lexa looked up at her through dripping warpaint with annoyed eyes. To anyone else, the look may have been terrifying. But Anya was pretty used to it. Anya just snorted, “Yeah,” she said, “I think we won.”

Lexa grinned ear to ear. She glanced back the direction of the stage. On the other side, she could hear announcers making announcements about the proceedings for the line up until the prized position of the closing act as yet to be determined for tomorrow, and the crowds leaving. She could now call Clarke. She could go and find her. She grabbed the hem of her black shirt and started wiping at her face paint--

“Woah, woah, Lex,” Anya scolded immediately. This made Lexa look at her again. Anya was staring at her like she was doing something totally gross. And she probably was. She realized she was wiping her eyes with a sweaty shirt. Lexa didn’t care. She had to find Clarke. Anya went on, “there are towels and stuff around the corner,” she smirked, “clean ones. Water too. Wash up,” she instructed and turned, “and call your girl.” Anya started walking away.

Her girl.

Clarke wasn’t her girl. Not technically. Not yet. But it didn’t stop her heart from giving a little extra thump the minute she heard the suggestion. She would call Clarke now. They would go out for drinks. A goofy grin crossed Lexa’s face. She ignored her sister and instead flipped over her hand to look at Clarke’s phone number again--

--it was gone.

She stared at where it should have been. It was too dark to see. Lexa ran toward the nearest light and put her hand under it and checked again, “no…” it was gone. Her hands were sweaty. All that was left of where it should be was a smeared dab of sweat and ink. “No.” she repeated. Her heart starting to race with dread and her body starting to fill with panic she shouted after her sister, “Anya!” Lexa felt herself running toward her. The distress in her voice must have caused Anya to know something was wrong because ahead Lexa saw her stop and turn fast in the gone. Anya helped close the last few steps between them, “what..what Lexa?”

Heaving in breath’s Lexa held her palm out, “it's gone.”

“What?”

“Her number, Anya! How could I be so stupid! It sweated off!” She looked at the smear of ink in her palm again. It was not even legible. Just an almost transparent smudge made by her still sweaty but quickly cooling hands, “it's gone.”

-=-

If she could capture it and put it in a bottle, Clarke told herself, she would be able to do both: hold on to the memories of the two hours she had shared with a girl named Lexa, preserving them forever without adding in the fact that she hadn’t called. If she could capture it in a bottle, then she could do both hold onto those things forever and also let them go.

But she didn’t have such a bottle. No one did. Bottles to trap memories in didn’t exist and what she was feeling was a mix between empty, hurt and terrified. Empty because nothing was left for her to do but sit and wait for the Festival to end tonight. Hurt because she had truly thought the girl would actually call her back as she had been the one to ask to see her again. Terrified because of how those few hours made her feel and terrified more because now she had to somehow find a way to forget them.

But mostly she just felt utterly drained, utterly empty, inside. The other feelings were fleeting and passed in flashes in the pit of her body mixed with feelings of panic.

It was hot.

Music from a half a dozen close sites blasted through the grounds. She was hearing about seven different songs from close by all at once causing it to be more distraction than actual music. Music from dozens of other camps within range of hearing filtered in the background. So did sounds of people laughing, people drinking, people just doing stupid shit--

People walked past back and forth in what she could only call herds in the center row between, heading to and from campsites, over to the festival grounds which she was trying very hard to stay away from until the last minute before they had to leave for the closing show tonight. Grounders had won the competition for the closing slot .Hot air balloons were floating close to the ground in half dozens advertising the band; black balloons with the band name and Alexandria’s warpaint mask. They were filming. She didn’t care. She kept thinking that maybe she would end up on camera. But she didn’t care about that either. Her friends did. Octavia and Raven ran out in swimsuit tops and shorts into the center rows each time a balloon drifted close--

“Hey, can I lei you?” A voice stopped and asked. She looked up from her sketchbook in her lap to find herself looking at a man about her age with shaggy brown hair with covered in body paint but with nothing else but shorts and boots on along with for our five flower leis around his neck. She got the idea quickly that he meant the flower necklaces. It was probably one of the oldest lines the books. The other two started smirking and laughing, apparently thinking this was cute. He was standing between two other guys, one that was skinny and had a shock of brown curls and a pair of goggles on his head the other was Asian and looked sweet but also quiet--

Clarke’s charcoal pencil slowly stopped in her left hand, “what?” she asked. It took a second for her to recognize him under the red and blue and purple body paint, “Finn?”

“Hi Princess,” Finn slurred, “these are my friends, Monty and Jasper. Just met em up here, yeah. We wanted to know if we could lei you.” he plucked at one of the necklaces he wore with his thumb and fore-finger and then looked up at her and wriggled his eyebrows stupidly.

“No, Finn.” she said, automatically curling her hands in to protect what she was drawing, “what are you doing here?”

“Trying to find you, of course.”

“Go away,” Clarke said, still trying to recognize why he had just said that, “I told you, I don’t want anything to do with you--”

“It was an accident,” Finn stated.

“Cheating on someone is not an accident.” Clarke countered.

Finn just snorted. He took off one of the lei’s and dropped it over her head anyway, “well, number’s still the same princess. Call me when you get off this high horse. Like you have never gone with someone when you’ve had a chance.”

“Not if I’m involved with someone else,” Clarke countered. Taking the lei off she tossed it into the campfire burning low enough to just keep the coals warm to cook the foil wrapped chicken and potatoes roasting in it. In the back of her head as the plastic flowers started to burn she felt herself hoping she had not ruined their dinner, “if you can cheat on someone, Finn, then you didn’t love that person enough to think about them …and stop.”

Octavia suddenly was at her side, “you need to get out of here.” she said briskly, stepping into Finn’s space, “before I remove you myself for both Clarke and Raven’s sake--”

Finn just snorted and turned and started walking off. The two guys with him looked at her, looked at Octavia a second longer, and then turned and followed their new friend away. Finn vanished into the moving crowds of people in the center row that were playing beer pong a few camps down.

“What are the odds?” Octavia mumbled, still staring the direction he had gone in as though she was rabid and still ready to attack.

“He lives in this town. It's something we used to do together. Odds are pretty good.” Clarke returned her attention to her drawing. She realized slowly she was drawing the damned Ferris Wheel and hadn’t even been thinking of it. She bit her lip, tracing a finger over the little cup shaped buckets.

Lexa hadn’t called. Clarke stared at the picture. She felt sadness building in her chest like it had been doing off and on all day long. She had scared her, Clarke thought, she had read the signals wrong and Lexa probably didn’t like girls at all…

“Clarke, our dinner might taste like plastic now.” Octavia was pulling the burning lei out of the fire with a long stick. She heard her friend snort, “but good work.”

She had to stop thinking of Lexa.

Clarke left the drawing unfinished as her hopes and been and turned to the next page of the book to try capturing something else. She looked around her at different camps. The beer pong game was going strong in the center row a few camps down. Across from it more crowds of people from a camp that took up eight spots were cheering on a guy as he chugged down a beer as quickly as possible, put his forehead to the handle end of a baseball bat and held the other end of it to the ground and started to try and run around and around it as fast as he could without either falling down or letting go of the bat or picking up his head. He made it two times around and was halfway through the third before falling.

“That is the craziest game,” Octavia mentioned, dropping into her chair beside Clarke’s and pulling her sunglasses over her eyes.

Clarke looked over at her briefly offered a tiny smile and to watching people for inspiration.

The camp directly across from theirs was the quiet camp on the row. It was four spots wide, with an r.v. across the back, two large tents at each end and was completely covered in by canvas canopies decorated with Christmas lights. They had a fake fire pit in the middle. The campers themselves seemed like a family as they had two little boys with them. There was an older couple, a younger couple, and then a single girl older than her that caught her eye once or twice over the past few days. She grabbed a fan from her tent, plugged it into a generator and sat in front of it and started tapping on her leg with her hand. Maybe Clarke should draw her to help her forget about Lexa. She looked at the blank page. She looked at the girl across the way. She tried to start to draw. The girl had a long braid, a brunette like Lexa. She had nice fingers too but they were not as slender as--

Lexa’s.

In frustration, she tossed herself back in her chair so hard that it nearly tipped over and tossed her pencil behind her at the same time.

Who was she kidding?

How could any girl, or guy for that matter, ever compare?

“Clarke, are you okay?” Octavia asked her.

Clarke didn’t say anything. She got up. She went and picked up her pencil.

How could anyone just forget about Lexa?

--==--

“Lexa, you realize this is stupid? Show is over tonight. In the morning we go and get the car and--”

“Shut up,” Lexa rolled her eyes. For what was probably the sixteenth time that day she grabbed her phone off the counter nearby and called Anya’s phone. For probably the sixteenth time that day she found herself reaching Anya’s voicemail that said, “Woods voicemail. Start talking.” Her sister was always so …direct. Lexa said into the phone, “look okay, whoever you are you need to bring this phone to the back-stage security immediately--”

“Your messages are pointless, Lexa,” Anya pointed out for what was probably the sixteenth time that day, “no one can pick them up without my password.”

Lexa ended the call and turned to her sister, “well they are not answering and I can’t just do nothing-”

“The phone is probably dead.” Anya said to her, “I will just buy a new one when we leave this festival. Look, Lexa,” Anya sighed and got up, “we can go to Raven’s shop after this is over, okay? Tell her you’re sorry, get the number---”

“By then it will be too late? Tell me, Anya, if a girl stood you up for two days would you want anything to do with her again?” Lexa pointed out, “I have to find her now.”

Anya snorted, “probably I wouldn’t want anything to do with her if she stood me up for a few hours.”

“Exactly,” Lexa stated. She blinked when she caught what Anya had said, “but …a few hours? You should give more time than that. It might be an accident…”

“I don’t waste time,” Anya replied, “I did my part. I stood where we were supposed to meet but won’t be made a fool either. If a girl wanted to see me that badly, she would put the effort in to find me anyway. And then I would know it was important--”

“And Raven?”

Anya turned her head a little bit, “in my case, I have to find her. It goes both ways, Lexa.”

“Wait,” Lexa was stricken suddenly. She felt herself back up slowly until she hit the wall behind her. Her brain was whirling like it usually did when she was coming up with a new song, but this time it was full of memories of those two hours with Clarke and also, “what did you just say?”

“That it goes both ways?”

“No, before that--” Lexa needed to hear this again.

Anya looked as though she was considering not answering the question before answering carefully anyway, “that …..I have to find raven?”

“No,” Lexa pushed off the wall, “before that?”

“That…” Anya was perplexed now, it was not often, if at all, that Lexa would back them up through a whole conversation unless it had something to do with them writing a song. Which was, it was easy to tell, they were very much not doing right now. She repeated anyway, “if a girl wanted to see me that badly, she would put the effort in to find me anyway. And then I would know it was important.”

“I have an idea,” Lexa whispered. She would put in that effort, “how to find her. Tonight. I have a way to do it.” Her eyes blinked because they were not seeing the inside of her bus anymore. They were already focused on tonight, on what would happen on the stage, no, on what would happen right after, “I’ll do the song.” she started pacing slowly again, but more rapidly and with purpose now.

“Song?” Anya questioned, watching her, “which song, Lexa?”

“Winds of Time, we…” mid-pace she turned to her sister quickly, “tonight we start with that.”

“Winds.. wait, what?” Anya began, staring at her as though she’d lost her mind, “that’s a slow song. You don’t start shows on slow songs, Lexa. Alexandria is known to--”

But Lexa started pacing again, “and then …then we put ‘Faded Warriors’ in the middle--”

“Faded War --what?” Anya sounded more than confused.

“And,” Lexa decided, “I will end tonight with a Cover.”

Anya shoved to her feet, her voice now full of stark concern, “Lexa, you don’t do Covers.”

Lexa turned to her shortly, “I will tonight.” she stated, “because it has words she needs to hear.”

“Wait, wait,” Anya asked staring at her as though to clarify, “you are going to change up your whole show, just for a girl?”

“Not just a girl,” Lexa corrected, “Clarke. For Clarke.”

“My God,” Anya accused staring at her, her voice was both dry and strangely full of wonder, “you’re in love.”

Lexa took a step forward, “the balloons are out, yes?” she asked suddenly.

“All day. Since the announcement was made.”

“Start dropping the little confetti gear symbols from them right now.”

“Those are for after the show--”

“Now, Anya.” Lexa insisted. Clarke needed this reminder of them in case she’d forgotten her and Lexa partly was afraid she had, not that she would blame her.

“You have lost your mind--”

“Anya!”

“Okay, okay, now. Now.” Anya looked her over, “you might want to get your make up on though, Alexandria?” she raised an eyebrow at Lexa, “it is an hour ‘til showtime.”

Lexa glanced at the time. She swore under her breath. It really was an hour until showtime and they still had to do sound-checks and tell the others of the changes in the show tonight. She turned. She grabbed her paint and started smearing it on in a mirror. She saw Anya come up behind her. In the mirror Anya just smirked at her and walked away, rolling her eyes.

-=-

It was almost cold tonight.

But you could not tell it. People in jackets were shedding them and tying them at their waist. It was warm in the crowd though could in the night because there were too many people. The festival grounds was bursting at the seams for this last show. You couldn’t move side to side without bumping someone. You couldn’t even hear yourself think from the roaring voices. And you could barely see anything from all the arms raised high into the air like trees reaching for the stars high over-head.

Standing between Raven and Octavia Clarke skimmed her eyes over the vast sprawling crowd. In the dark, she could not see the end of it no matter which way she looked.

Gustus had come to their camp to say hi, incognito on the back of a golf cart, and he told them there were nearly ninety thousand people here. It had been so busy all week that he hadn’t had a chance to stop and knew he wasn’t really going to get one so he just came anyway. He also said that the last ten thousand of those people had poured through the gates just today to see Grounders tonight, hearing they had won. He never thought Grounders would play here. Clarke had to remind him how big the Giant Five -through staging at many venues world wide- had become. She had to remind him he might soon be seeing only big names from here on out, no more one hit wonders like Soggy Booty or whatever the bad the day before had been. Muddy Booty, he had corrected. Causing her to grin even if she felt sad. He always did that. But she was concerned. Because Gustus never wanted attention like this. But he grinned too in contradiction because Grounders were on his ranch.

Grounders, warriors of the salt of the Earth, they often said, that played brutal, truthful, sometimes painful emotionally wrenching songs; about life, about truth, about lies, about sex, about death, about glory and loss and anger and very rarely about love and hope. These past few years her songs had been mostly about anger and hurt, and loss and no one knew why. But no one denied it either; Grounders had power. They had the ability to move people through so many emotional levels in the course of a song or two.

And so as the dim gray lights filled the stage and the billows of clouds of smoke made by dry-ice started rolling forward over the stage to spill onto the audience below, Clarke clutched the little gold foil Heda gear tight in her hand that she had picked up from when balloons had been dropping them from the sky. Lexa wore one like a necklace to keep her grounded. On the still empty stage, a slight roll of thunder started through the speakers. But despite her telling herself to forget about Lexa, Clarke found herself scanning the spilling seas of crowds to the left for her face.

As the thunder started rolling louder and louder and lights went from gray to deep purple and figures of the band started to slowly walk out of the smoke and slide into places at their instruments, Clarke looked across the crowds to her right for Lexa--

As the first few drumbeats slowly ticked up very slowly and the guitars started a very slow series of familiar cords that almost sounded like water dropping into a pond Clarke was looking behind her into the crowds that vanished into the dark--

“I am lost,” on the stage, Alexandria started singing. Clarke ripped her gaze around. Her heart started a fast beat. She hadn’t seen her take the stage. All around her everyone started screaming suddenly as they recognized the opening song--

“And I’m reaching for a voice,” Alexandria took the microphone from the holder and moved back into the smoke at the center of the purple lights, “for a soul who’s always been there. I can’t see them.” she started pacing a little bit, “I can feel them. But they are around me everywhere.” she started a slow circle back toward the center of the stage, “in these sands of time,” she crouched to one knee, the shimmering lights catching the black warpaint over her face like magic, “in these winds of time..”

“Shit, she’s doing Winds of Time..” Raven said next to Clarke. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Raven look at her, “Clarke! She’s doing your song first!”

“They are my soul. They are my life. Out strong in the dark only ribbons of the red combine. Blown on the storms. Blown on the winds. Until we meet again. In these sands,” Alexandria pushed to her feet, “in these winds of time. You give me wings. Just take my hand,” she reached out toward the audience, “I’ll pull you through. To me. In the winds of time.” She let the hand slowly fall, “wherever you are. Red ribbons run through the winds of time.”

Clarke felt choked up. Her lungs hurt, not able to breathe. Watching and listening under those purple lights with smoke pouring around her the girl on the stage seemed so distressed and emotional it made her think of Lexa. This song was her favorite. She had told Lexa that. She had told her and a selfish little hurting part of Clarke hoped that maybe Lexa was watching this with her. Maybe she was thinking of her, too.

She shouldn’t hope things like this.

In the morning, all these people would pack up and drive away, taking Lexa away forever. Clarke would be driving back to California. Maybe that is why she thought this. Maybe that is why she hoped that Lexa was still here. So maybe they could have this one song. Clarke held her jaw stiff and tight as tears tried and failed to blur into her vision. The ending of the song made her feel like knowing Lexa was here but driving away forever in the morning was tearing her apart when she barely knew this girl. How could barely knowing someone be tearing her apart?

“Where-ever you are. Forever with me. It doesn’t take breath.” Alexandria was pacing back and forth over the stage almost desperately, at one end she clung to and crumbled against a support as though the words of this song really hurt to sing, “or eyes to see. Side by side--” She ended up sitting on the stage legs curled in and head bowed one hand tangled into her hair and eyes closed under purple lights as though trying to finish this song, “it tears us apart but we always are together in winds of time.”

“You will see her at the shop,” Raven said next to her ear as though she knew what Clarke was thinking, “they have to come get their car.”

“I don’t want to,” Clarke answered. She glanced at her friend as the song ended with a light roll of fading music and lights and then changed into a much, much faster and louder one. Clarke had to shout over it, “It's clear she doesn’t want me, Raven! How can I look at her again?” On the stage, Alexandria was on her feet shouting lyrics of Dark Losses into the microphone as she returned quickly to center stage and purple lights moved to red and orange.

Raven had no answer it seemed, and thousands of voices were cheering and screaming in Clarke’s ears as the song went on to the next and the next. Thousands of voices roaring in the night that made it definable that Grounders were on stage. Music rumbled out so loudly that it was vibrating the Earth, it was vibrating Clarke’s insides as she watched Alexandria Woods; pacing about rapidly, shouting out songs over noise of fans and music, she would grab faux weapons and spar with her band mates, win or loose against them. Or she would go it alone, spinning and shouting in what would be dizzying deadly swirls if she was in true combat many times ending on her knees with her beautiful face raised high toward the sky to jump to her feet again to carry on with her songs. The singer was known to shed clothes soon as sweat started soaking her skin and in the middle of the song ‘War March’ it started to happen. Girls would scream in the crowds with each piece that fell. They would crawl onto the stage to be pulled away, if they were lucky holding onto whatever piece of cloth the singer had dropped. Band would cover this with bursts of instrumentals allowing Alexandria to back away to haul air into her lungs before she charged forward into a flying leap she was known for to land in the center of the stage and start singing again as though nothing happened.

The long coat fluttered and swirled around her as she landed on one knee in perfect timing with the end of the song. She pushed up and grabbed a water bottle from near the drum-set and drank deeply with her fingers curled around the bottle and as all sound suddenly stopped.

The beams of lights stopped moving as well, revealing the musicians glancing at each other with quiet unease. Revealing as well, Alexandria just putting the bottle of water down, glaring up at the drummer who glared back at her, and turning toward the crowd.

Moving to the front of the stage Alexandria grabbed a guitar on the way past and at the edge of the stage with it stopped and looked out over the crowds, “so hi out there,” she greeted, this was actually the first time she actually spoke to the crowds. Which made them all suddenly roar to life with cheering. Alexandria very rarely spoke on stage. But right now. She was. To Clarke for some reason she also suddenly looked nervous as she glanced in her warpaint to the left as though looking somewhere off the stage, “thank you uh,” she began almost quietly, which was strange for such a vocal singer whom was far from shy about any topic in her songs, “for voting us the winner. Thank you for uh …coming to see us and basically,” she finally lifted the guitar and strummed it once, a little, as though to distract her from where she was, “getting us were we are today. Because without you, we would never ever have gotten to where we are today and I am forever thankful for all of you. Let it be known that, we are you. You are my people and it is always,” she looked around them, “always about my people. Everyone out there is a Grounder--”

This, of course, brought a roar of cheering from the crowds. Hands shot into the air. Another girl tried to get onto the stage only to have Alexandria back up and security pull her off stage again. Alexandria winced, “I’m sorry,” she said to the girl. She snorted, “guess there’s rules here that keeps you down there.” she strummed her guitar again and walked back and forth for a few seconds in thought, making the crowd fall quiet to watch her. Finally she stopped and turned to them, “but I’m about to break them all and have one of you come up here.”

This made laughter rumble in waves over the masses of people. This made Clarke even bite her lip and smile just a little bit. Alexandria picked out a few more notes before adding, “see I have this problem. We um, only have about ten minutes left of our show tonight. And last night at this festival I met this girl--”

Predictability was always amazing. As though right on cue nearly ninety-thousand people broke into whistles, applause, and cheers. Clarke found herself clapping out of habit with them and wondering what song she was introducing like this.

Octavia elbowed her, “she’s gonna do a new song.”

Raven agreed, “yeah baby! She only talks if there is a new song!”

But Clarke felt her heart slowly sinking in her chest. She felt her eyes close slowly and open once. Because she knew the magic of meeting a girl here. And the grief of losing her before anything could begin.

On the stage the singer had waited for the cheers to die out before pulling in a deep breath that was heard over the microphone as if to calm her nerves, “so this girl. I met her at the Ferris wheel,” Alexandria looked toward the behemoth at the back of the festival grounds but a sudden pang of alarm hit Clarke. It seemed at that second all she could do was stare at the girl on the stage.

“And it was magic,” Alexandria offered to the crowd looking around at all of them as if searching for a single face in a sea of faces. As though on cue the spotlights all turned on and started roving over the packed crowds.

Magic. Clarke felt herself stop breathing at the likeness comparison. It was too uncanny. It was coincidental. Clarke felt herself swallow. She felt herself take a step forward and stopped to stare at the singer. She could not be Lexa. She couldn’t.

So why were her knees weakening? And why was there a wild and erratic pound to her heart?

Up on the stage, Alexandria sighed and lowered her gaze. As though on cue all the lights shut off except for one spotlight trained solely on the singer’s voice lowered an octave to admit, “but I lost her number, and I don’t know where she is now..” Alexandra stopped talking a minute and played a few more notes before stopping again, “I don’t even know if you’re still out there and I don’t usually do covers--”

The pounding in Clarke’s heart grew stronger. The jelly like feeling suddenly creeping through her whole body. She took another step.

“Calm down, Clarke,” Raven said next to her, “that’s not her.” her friend’s hand landed gently on her back. Clarke glanced at Raven quickly before the strum of Alexandria’s guitar pulled her eyes back to the girl on the stage. Laying a hand over the strings to stop one more time the tune she was picking out the singer went on, “so I called up a friend of mine Chris Daughtry and asked if I could preform one of his songs* for closing tonight. And he said yes. So, this girl. Her name starts with a C--”

It was Lexa. It really was her. And suddenly Clarke couldn’t breathe through the huge lump taking up residence suddenly in her throat. Not even if her life depended on having air in her lungs--

“Shit, Clarke, shit!” Octavia was screaming into her ears and grabbing onto her making everyone near them turn to stare as she stared at the girl on the stage. Clarke’s head felt stuffed with cotton suddenly, muffling her friend’s squeals, muffling the crowds, muffling everything but the sound of the girl on the stage, of the sound of her clothing creaking as she turned, as she pulled up a stool from behind her and sat on it, “if you are still out there, this song is for you.” she strummed the guitar a little more, until cords were suddenly spilling out over the speakers and changing into the intro of a song, a drum beat picked up in the background and Lexa started to sing, “you never know when you’re gonna meet someone--”

Clarke was staring. Her heart was fluttering. She was blinking and shaking. Breath was finally fluttering into her lungs.

Lexa’s hands worked beautifully through the cords as the words left her pretty lips. “--and your whole wide world in a moment comes undone.”

“Shit, shit, shit!” Raven was screaming, “Clarke!” she shoved at Clarke, “that’s her, Clarke! That’s--” the crowds roared to their feet recognizing the song the same second she did.

Lexa kept playing, “you’re just walking around and suddenly everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone,” she got up to her feet under the single spotlight, “you find out its all been wrong, and all my scars don’t seem to matter anymore. ‘Cause they led me here to you--”

Clarke’s arms and legs were a trembling mess as she stumbled a little more forward through the crowds, “Lexa…” the name was a whisper. On the stage Lexa’s eyes closed and her face tilted up toward the stars, black mask glimmering on the wide screens as she picked up the chorus and added as much emotion as she could to the song, “I know that its gonna take some time got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind this might end up like it should.” her fingers struck cords desperately as she used her body to try and balance the music, “and I’m gonna say what I need to say and hope to God that it don’t scare you away…”

Clarke thought she heard her friends calling her. But she was mesmerized and started pushing her way slowly through people, they would turn and look at her and some would glare as she cut in front of them, dirt and grass crunching under her shoes as she got closer and closer to the stage. On the giant screens Lexa’s face was sweating and her lips looked parched. Her eyes flashed open briefly and then closed again as the angle of the camera changed catching sight of the glimmering Heda gear on the chain and the slight sheen of sweat on her skin, “don’t wanna be misunderstood. But I’m starting to believe that this could be the start of something good.”

More band members picked up the music. Clarke pushed her way through more people. Her skin was shaking. Her eyes searching over the girl playing guitar on the stage. Clarke moved more people aside. She was close enough to see Lexa without the large screens. Dark curls wet with sweat fell over the guitar as she played a brief instrumental. More of the band members appeared and picked up the music as Lexa wet her lips with a pink tongue and started the next verse, “everyone knows life has its ups and downs. One day you’re on top of the world and one day you’re the clown,” she threw her head up toward the stars and punched through the next lines, “well I’ve been both enough to know that you don’t want to get in the way when its working out the way that is is right now.” Clarke took a few more steps forward, pushing through the third and the second row of seating. Then the first.

Lexa lowered her face to focus on her guitar cords. Her teeth ground together, “you see my heart I wear it on my sleeve. Cause I can’t hide it anymore.” Sweat dropped from Lexa’s body with each strum of the guitar. Drop after drop hit the stage floor. Clarke was shaking as she put her fingertips slowly on the edge of it. She felt her lips part as Lexa looked up abruptly and jerked when their eyes locked. Lexa exhaled visibly.

And for just a few seconds -as though on cue- the music stopped. Still watching Clarke she slowly set her guitar aside and continued softly, “you never know when you’re gonna meet someone--”

Music exploded from the speakers. Lexa stepped back. Hands at her sides she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the stars. Knuckles clenched and white she poured everything she had into the song, “I know that its gonna take some time I got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind this might end up like it should,” her lungs heaved for air, “and I’m gonna say what I need to say and hope to God that it don’t scare you away. But I’m starting to believe that this could be the start…” her eyes shot open. She dashed toward Clarke, “cause I don’t know where its going,” Lexa hit her knees on the stage right in front of her, “there’s a part of me that loves not knowing.” Clarke saw her own face fill the big screens as Lexa focused on her. She heard the roars of the crowds as the image came up. Replaced by Lexa’s green eyes shining at her in a mix of fright and hope under the black mask, “just don’t let it end before we begin….” the words trailed off. Lexa’s lips over the mic as she slowly reached out and extended a hand to her.

Clarke looked at the hand. The cameras focused on it. Lexa’s outstretched hand filled the large screens. As the music grew quieter as though to mimic the gesture, with a thumping, frightened heart and not even sure what she was doing Clarke put her fingers into Lexa’s to find she wasn’t the only one shaking.

With a shaky smile, Lexa pulled her onto the stage. Clarke stared in wonder. Lexa looked at their fingers that were still together, “you never know when you’re gonna meet someone--” a hand brushed across the back of her palm. She suddenly felt fear hit her like she hadn’t known. Fear and a surge of adrenaline and happiness that escape her as a wide smile when Lexa looked up at her eyes and music exploded from the band. Lexa’s voice filled the air as she stared right at her, “I know its gonna take some time I’ve got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind this might end up like it should, and I’m gonna say what I need to say and hope to God that it don’t scare you away. I don’t want to be misunderstood. But I’m starting to believe. Oh I’m starting to believe--”

Drums crashed. Lexa kissed the back of her fingers, “this could be the start of something good. Hey hey, the start of something good. This could be the start of something good.”

Clarke’s legs were going to give up any minute. They were jelly. Behind them, the background singers were trailing off the end of the song. Lexa tightened her grip in Clarke’s and finished her last line, “yeah this could be the start of something good.”

Lights faded down. Lexa returned the mic to the stand. She picked up her guitar with one hand and gave a short bow to the audience, hand still locked in Clarke’s. Then she was tugging Clarke off the stage as the crowd roared and the band kept playing. Clarke felt her nerves jumping and was barely able to contain herself as she followed Lexa into the shelter off the left side of the stage and down a short flight of back steps.

With the music still fading behind them and the roar of the crowd in her ears Clarke found herself suddenly pushed up against a wall. Lexa’s hands tightened under her shoulders, “Clarke,” she was gasping as though thirsty, “I had to find you. I sweated your number away--”

Clarke scrabbled at Lexa’s back, “Lexa,” she realized, “you need …you need water…” she pulled Lexa’s face up just enough to look at her. To see the sweat causing more trails of warpaint to roll down her face. But Lexa’s hands were in her hair and her lips were on Clarke’s suddenly, hot and soft and sucking as though Clarke’s mouth were candy--

Clarke groaned. She felt herself melt into a puddle. She slapped her hands tight around Lexa’s thin waist. If she thought she was dizzy before when finding out it was Lexa on stage she was certainly beyond breathless now. Tightening her hands on Lexa she kissed her trembling warm lips, lips that seemed suddenly desperate. Lexa grunted and pushed her harder into the wall at her back--

Clarke thought she heard steps running up. But she didn’t care. All she cared about was Lexa, and kissing her, and the little soft sounds coming from the soft lips on hers--

“LexaI!…” a voice shouted out suddenly. This made the kiss come to a screaming, uncomfortable jolt as Lexa broke it and, one hand still pressed to the wall, she half turned around. This made Clarke swallow for breath, for sanity and flutter her eyes open. She was still trying to understand why Lexa had gone suddenly stiff in her arms, why she had pulled away. Then her eyes focused on the reason, the speaker, the intruder into their little moment, who happened to be a dark eyed beautiful woman standing in apparent shock just a few feet away.

This made Clarke freeze up. She was still trying to understand what was happening when the woman sighed heavily, folded her arms and rolled her eyes and glared at Lexa, “well, performing always did turn you on.”

Lexa glanced from Costia to Clarke, and back to Costia again. She took Clarke by the elbow and pulled her close. Clarke saw the stiffening of Lexa’s jaw as she stared at the intruder. When Lexa spoke after a beat of this uncomfortable stare-down her voice was formal and almost cold, “what do you want, Costia?”

“I.” Costia broke off for a minute. Her eyes shifted from Lexa to Clarke and back again, “I wanted to sign you--”

“I have a contract already,” Lexa said crisply.

Costia snorted and shifted a little. Her eyes shifted from Lexa and onto Clarke with a look that made Clarke’s temper rise a little before she looked at Lexa again, “who is this?”

Lexa tightened her grip a little and at the same time took a step forward, “that’s none of your business.”

“I’m…” Clarke started to speak.

Lexa warned with a quick glance at her, “don’t say your name.”

Clarke felt surprise fill her. She had no idea who this woman was. And maybe that was part of the reason Lexa had cut her off - because Lexa did know who she was. So she listened and went quiet.

Costia laughed under her breath, “its will be all over the tabloids anyway, you know. Mega-Star Lexa woods caught fucking with a whore after closing out the Big Five.”

Clarke felt Lexa stiffen with the insult. Lexa simply stated though, “she is not, and we were not having sex.”

It was Clarke’s turn to slide a hand along Lexa’s waistline now. She was already starting to dislike this woman. Clarke finally addressed Costia, “ I think you should leave.”

But Costia ignored her, “you know,” she wet her lips, “back there, when you said her name started with a C? For a minute,” she tilted her head a little, “I thought you were talking about me.”

“You thought wrong,” Lexa informed her, “goodnight, Costia.” she took Clarke’s arm again and started to move them away.

“You’re going to regret this, Lexa!” Costia shouted suddenly. Lexa stopped long enough to turn, “I don’t think so--” she said.

“Well, look who it is.” Anya snorted suddenly as she appeared coming down the short flight of steps. This sudden appearance made Lexa smile. Which made Clarke smile too and she didn’t even know why. Anya got right into Costia’s space, “pretty sure I heard them tell you to leave.”

But Costia wasn’t intimidated, “this is none of your business, Anya.”

“I think it is,” Anya answered, “now get lost.”

Costia only continued to glare at Anya, and glance past her to Lexa.

“Hey!” Anya broke the look by demanding right in Costia’s face, “don’t you get it? You lost.” she smirked. For a second it seemed as though Anya was going to push Costia away. Costia must have thought so too, “don’t you dare touch me.”

Anya’s eyes narrowed, “oh don’t even dream for a second that I would.”

Beside her, Clarke thought she heard Lexa laugh, but she couldn’t tell for sure. Lexa quickly turned her head but not before Clarke saw amusement in green eyes behind streaks of black paint.

Costia heard it too. For a minute she gaped at Lexa like a fish as though she wanted to say something but then she just turned and stormed away, vanishing into the dark amid the buses and the far corner of the back of the stage. Only after she had gone did Clarke see Lexa visibly exhale.

“You did good, Lex.” Anya clapped Lexa on the forearm. She looked at Clarke as Clarke came to them, “Clarke. You have no idea what this one…” she motioned to Lexa, “was like today.”

“I was like nothing,” Lexa protested instantly.

“Right,” Anya rolled her eyes, “you were like nothing.” Then she looked at Clarke, “and I want your phone.” Finally, she folded her arms and strode away from them into the dark calling back, “you have two seconds before everyone comes after us. So kiss her already!”

Clarke felt herself blushing a little. But she also felt Lexa’s fingers on her face, and then her soft lips placed a chaste kiss against hers. Clarke tightened her hands on Lexa’s waist and the kiss went from chaste to desperate and Clarke’s warm lips were stealing Lexa’s breath. She needed air at last though,, pulling back and drawing in deep lungfuls she settled her forehead on Clarke’s, “there is a huge party,” she said, “and I owe you a drink.”

“Or an ice cream?” Clarke asked, breathless, her head thudding against the wall.

“Or an ice cream.” Lexa laughed, smoothing her hair back with her hands to kiss her forehead. Over her shoulder, Anya called back to them, “Clarke, I need your phone!”

“What!” Clarke shouted back, for some reason she felt she could.

“Phone!”

“She wants to call Raven.” Lexa informed, “I wouldn’t let her touch it if I were you. She looses phones allot.”

“Shut up, Lexa!” Anya called out again as though she could hear her, “Clarke!” she shouted even louder, she turned in the dark some good distance away to face them. It started raining, hard, heavy, loud rain that instantly drenched everything. Clarke broke into smiles as it started pelting her. At least it had waited for after the show. Through the dark Anya was suddenly cursing and swearing. Lexa just laughed and laced their fingers together. Clarke looked at their hands as the rest of the band started coming down the stairs.

I don’t know where it's going…

They were smiling at Lexa as they filed by. The one at the end stopped, “good show tonight Lex.” he said.

There’s a part of me that loves not knowing.

“It was Lincoln.” Lexa answered him, “you did great taking over the guitar.”

Just don’t let it end before it begins.

Lincoln went the direction Anya went. Lexa turned her head to watch him vanish into the rain. Clarke felt her heart fluttering softly as she looked at Lexa. As Lexa turned and looked at her and smiled a shy smile, “we don’t have to go. I can take you back to your camp.”

You never know when you’re gonna meet someone.

Clarke just smiled back. She swung their hands back and forth between them gently, “let's go to the party, Lexa.”

And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone...

Lexa grinned back at her in the rain. Gripped her fingers and turned and ran after her band. Catching her breath and struggling to not slip in the rain, Clarke held on tighter …and ran with her. She ran with it knowing she might be falling in love.

(*Song Credit: 'The Start of Something Good' by Daughtry)

(This fic was voted into existence by my followers on Patreon. Come and join us if you would like. Also, there will be a much larger chapter fic based off this fic. If you liked it, stay tuned.)

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