#i was also really jaundiced and left at the hospital post birth but i don't count that

[gofrannypack]

oops I just remembered one more

For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:

Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)

Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital

Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital

Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[tojamesandwilliam]

Morning both😊 🌄

Another long post 📫 😴. I'm at work with currently nothing to do , it's 9⁰c and so cold. 🙃 I was thinking about telling you a little bit about our early days together and what kind of bonds we had.

James I'll start with you because you are my first born. From the day you where born you never left my side , you where the best friend I never had , you weren't just my son you where and still are my whole world. We did everything together and you went everywhere I did. We met some friends on the way but they got lost when you went into the system with your brother William. But that's OK. We did messy play every friday morning at 10am we loved it , we played in the sand pit , had fun in the ball pit and made so much mess with paints and glitter it was beautiful!. After it finished we either went to the shop to get lunch and a Thomas the tank engine magazine or we went on a bus ride and went to see your nan juzzzy and your great grandma , they didn't live far. Then we'd have visits to the big park and watched the tennis players. You played in the grass and it was so warm. We got ice cream in the cafe and went home to play. You had two guinea pigs lacey and bumble we used to clean them out together and make them fresh bedding , you got the hay everywhere!. The most memorable thing was when I fell pregnant with your brother William , you didn't really understand it well until I gave birth to him and bought him home , you where amazing to him , I included you where ever I could , you helped hold the bottle to feed him. Gave him lots of kisses , came over when he was upset , you are the best big brother anyone could have james and I'm proud to call you my son .

William gorgeous this is for you and yes that is your nickname too!.

Our time together was cut really short baby. Because of everything that happened we don't have many memories at all , but the few we have are just as precious. You where also my best friend aswell as my son , you came and did everything with me & your big brother James. We went through alot , when you where born you had jaundice that required phototherapy , it was so upsetting for me , but it was just me and you and I always loved to talk to you about how much I loved you both and how lucky iam to have had the opportunity to carry such beautiful children. I did a mini photo shoot of you in the hospital and you had a sweet little egg sleepsuit on I loved it. Your first Christmas with us was lovely, it was just me , you and James we gathered around the tree together and placed the ornaments on the tree , you loved seeing the lights go on. James enjoyed himself too!.

You had such a sweet little laugh and it made so many people smile. All 3 of us ended up in a safe house just before I handed you over , it was far away and the nearest supermarket was 10 minutes away , we had a massive snow fall on our way home from the shops and I really struggled to push the Pushchair through it all , it was such a laugh. James was throwing his blanket everywhere, it was crazy , we did easter shopping there you got new outfits and tons of eggs!. The rest was all a bad memory for us all.

I tried I really did , but in the end I was kidding myself to think I could be enough for you . You both deserved a big family , stability and most importantly someone who wasn't so broken they couldn't even look after themselves , although the memories are lovely , it was bittersweet , being your mummy to you both was the best time I've ever had in my life , bringing you into this world, carrying you for 9 months worth every single second. I'd do it again in another life time , I just wished I waited for you further on in life found the peace and happiness I have now. High insight is a beautiful thing.

Lots of love ❤️