#i wanted to throw the sketches at u SO BAD but im glad i didnt ruin the surprise :D

[scatterbrainedbot]

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ZACH I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE (no cause the way I ran to my friends to show them these and proceeded to curl up on the floor while they laughed. IM INSANE OVER THEM QwQ <33333)

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN, RAHHHHH

just doin' my job, ma'am

[prettyflyshyguy]

I just wanted to say that I absolutely love ur Leon AUs and am forever in awe of how well u manage to blend together insect and humanoid parts. I've always liked the human-with-mandibles aesthetic but could never figure out how to draw it realistically. How do u do it? Love the art, u deserve more recognition!

AW HECK THANK YOU ;_;

Honestly Im always really nervous posting stuff cause its niche and obvs not everyone's cup of tea but I’m really glad people like it! I think i’d die if I got more recognition lmao

As for how I do it......... :^) that’s the fun bit, I put this simple tutorial/breakdown together so I hope it helps!

Disclaimer: Its extremely not anatomically correct but I throw that away a bit for the sake of fun, but it’s important to keep in mind when designing anything you want to be believable! A key to this in body horror I think is it looking like it could possibly work (a lot of factors go into this though)

First the basic structural breakdown of placement. I usually default to this style because it hugs the face nicely and gives you a lot of range. I use really simple shape language to get started, each mandible can be broken into three lines. The beginning segment, the middle, and then the third which extends to the tooth/claw/thing

 Expressions are the best way I think to sell it as feeling realistic. They’re part of the body, and specifically the face! They’re gonna react to emotion or whatever the character is doing (i.e. if they’re eating a burger, have those bad boys help out! grip the foot etc.)

Let them move dynamically! Use them expressively! Its extremely fun! I like to think of them as weird fingers that stick out of the face, but give them some limitation. Think about how joints, muscles and ligaments work and how they allow and constrict movement. My rule of thumb is to have limited movement on the 2nd and 3rd joints, just up down movement like your fingers. But where they connect to the face they have a little side-to-side too like your thumb! If you grip your hands but leave your forefinger and thumb loose and try doing a crab pincer thing with them you’ll see what I mean. You can Sort of rotate your forefinger at its base, not as much as your thumb but the joints beyond that really only go in an up/down motion. 

An alternative design option if you want to go more traditionally looking insectoid is to have them extend outwards from more inside the mouth

You can do a lot with this but keep in mind there isnt much space in there if you want them to fold up inside the mouth, but that makes for a fun surprise!

I think a good exercise for getting started is have your character you want to apply mandibles too, draw them normally and then toy around with stick lines on their face as like a very basic bone drawing of where they would sit, where on the face do they start (top and bottom jaw near the ears for me) and where do they extend? I always start with gesture lines when I sketch to get the placement looking good and to determine how I want them to sit on the face so I don’t obscure much of the nose/mouth depending on the camera angle of the picture.

Here’s some extra goodies for fun, a creature design I made in 2017 and my halloween costume from 2019 (on a very tight budget lmao I didnt have much work at the time BUT you can always make a fun costume from basic cheap materials! We had a mini party at our house and handed out candy to trick or treaters while we were all in costume)

Remember none of this is a rule or ‘correct’, its just my approach for fun and there’s so many ways you can do it depending on how far on the uncanny valley/body horror scale you want to go! 

[mothraballs]

Sketchbooks From Over The Last Seven Years

I have a box of sketchbooks and random sketches that I’ve been adding to since I was about 12.  Today I went through it all and I decided I’d make a post about it because. idk. why not I guess? So obviously its not every page of every book but like if anyone wants to go through about 7 years of bad sketchbooks and loose sketches and doodles its under the cut. Some nudity

.Going through this sucked a little because like who in the world ever wants to go through their middle school art??? Its hard not to get rid of that stuff because like not only does it suck but it makes me remember middle school and things like anime club and like. ew. But it’s nice to see how much less I suck at this, even if i’m not nearly as talented as I’d like to be. It also makes me sad to think of art i’ve lost, even if it was bad. I don’t have pretty much anything that I did digitally from like age 13-16 because I either deleted it or lost it when a computer broke because i didnt back that up since I didnt think id care but l kinda wish I still had some of that stuff, just like to compare improvement over such a big time period.

 I wanted to find some of my actual finished art to post with this, but I couldn’t find it today, so it’s only sketchbook stuff (but I dont finish a lot of things anyway lol). Maybe I’ll make another post comparing old things I actually finished with new stuff once I can find it because I know it’s around here somewhere anyway heres sketchbooks!!

This is from 7th grade, so I guess I was 12. It’s god fucking awful, complete with drawings of memes (which I will spare u from), slenderman fan art, and a weird message about my middle school bike, which I still have in my garage, being stolen, which it never was. And the brakes do work.

 why

  This one is also from when I was 12, but it’s only about 1/4 of the way full. 

i think i had a mental brakedown here lmao

@douche-mccoosh​ ‘s sexy page

This one was either from 7th-8th grade or just in 8th grade. Idk. Either way I was probably 13 years old. Just a warning: Mlp fan art starts here

1 (ONE) wolf

idk what this is supposed to be honestly

long forgotten OC

This one was also from when I was 13

I had this from age 13-14, I started drawing digitally a LOT more around age 14, so I guess I wasnt rly using my sketchbook as much

this was like straight copied from a piece I saw at an art magnet school I applied to (obviously I didnt get in lmfao) and I really did not understand how dark I needed to make the paper in some spots. And then I never finished it

A pony OC... she was a robot ok

I think I had this one age 14-15. The paper ended up being translucent so I stopped using it early on. Im kinda glad I didn’t fill it up because that actually might be kinda useful to me now

Sweet notes from @lmkno​  

This one wasn’t in the picture on the top bc I found it later. I think I might also be missing like 1 other one too tbh but oh well lol I think I had it when I was 15? really stopped drawing like a lot around this time, I wasn’t doing digital stuff either cuz my computer was broken at the time

This is also about when I stopped throwing away every single thing i drew on a loose piece of paper, so here’s some random sketches from the general timeframe

First sketches of my OCs Vonn, the fish man and Elliot, the girl with pigtails

Some of my art I’ve sorted correlating to the OC’s and the universe they belong in or whatever so here’s some OC’s that sort of came about around that time, some of the pictures are from when I was older though

Ginger

the TV head robot guy was named Seven

the guy with the fuckin,, circle head and weird face is Wolfgang, I still draw him a lot today but ive changed how he looks a  l o t

I had this age 15-16, so like 2014-15. Maybe early 2016? There’s a lot of blank pages and scribbled out things. I 

Wolfgang again

fukkin,,,, gaye ass furry roleplay oc

Sketches on loose paper from the time I think??? I honestly cant tell when all of these are from but they’re gonna go here.

first design of an OC named Eryl

A random D20 character

Eryl

Early drawings of an OC named Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy aka Lucy Ninetimes

Lucy & Wolfgang

And heres more stuff I had sorted by OCs/universe or whatever

main OCs here are Pidgenfinger, with the blue or possibly stylistic black hair, and Chrissy, shes like. A mouse or something

main OCs here are Roland and Ansel, they were like siamese twins and then one of them died at birth and now this guy just has a ghost twin idk it was stupid

Finally we’re at the point that my phone started recognizing faces in my sketchbook. I had this one age 17, i might have started it like right before I turned 17?

Lucy & Wolfgang

Vonn and Elliot on the right side of the page

Pidgenfingersa

Roland & Ansel

Dont Starve fanart on the right

Elliot on the right

Lucy on the bottom left

Vonn & Elliot on this page too

Lucy & Wolfgang, this is dumb but w/e

Von, Elliot, and another OC, Eryl. The lady with horns never got a name

Random Sketches

Lucy

Wolfgang

I got this sketchbook a few months after id turned 18 if i remember correctly 

Lucy, but decapitated

Lucy

Lucy again

Lucy yet again

Lucy!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfgang

(and Lucy)

I got this sketchbok as a gift from my wonderful boyfriend @the-lost-professor​ early january of this year, so technically when I was 18, I’m now 19

Eryl on bottom right

Stuff I did for mermay

some random sketches

My current sketchbok ft. Tsu This one was also a gift from my boyfriend ♥ I got it late June of this year

Wolfgang

Lucy

Wolfgang

Lucy

Wolfgang and Leah, and OC that i made a long ass time go and I dont have the original picture but I redrew her

Wolfgangs and Lucys

Eryl on the left

The last thing I did for mermay, which I technically finished after may ended

Lucy

and the most recent page! With Lucy and Wolfgang on the right

uhhhhhhhhh

im really fucking hungry now and im gonna go eat bye

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #12: "FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooouuoock me." - Maynor

Well. Looks like Bryce wasnt trust worthy at all. I can only have annabelle but we dont talk too much. I need to win immunity or my ass is gone next.

I definately need to win this immunity if I want to regroup. A even bigger fire in me wanting to play even more aggressive. Ive been passive. Now I dont really care who goes. Except for Annabelle ❤️. Im going to try and throw wrenches in their plans and try to get someone from their side out.

I’m on 230. Idk what my goal is going to be but i think im going to stop around 2pm so i can go back to 1 before 5pm deadline comes. I really need to win this immunity. 😰

Update. I am now at 500 for the number. Its barely noon. Idk if i should keep going or start to go back down to one. I just hope im the furtherest from everyone else. I would die if i dont win.

I feel so terrible. like that Nathan vote was the hardest thing I have had to do in this game so far. He betrayed my trust a lot. But I really got along so well with him. And Nathan deserves better. Ugh. Like Brian and I literally feel gross. And now I have to do damage control with Anna and make it seem like a last minute switch when actually it was me being a terrible person and plotting all round against one of the nicest players ever. I'm feeling rough and this season is getting really tough.

Well I am still here! I am honestly shocked that I am, but I will TAKE it gladly! Maybe I will stop being the target now cause nathan is gone (we shall see though, I feel like Bryce and brian are now HATED by Maynor and Anna) which will be nice. I now have the lovely (....) distinction of having the most votes cast against me in celestial history. and ALL Since the merge started lmao! I really am a magnet for votes huh. I feel good, might have to be rude to someone to get a target off my back though so uh maybe bitch boi matt will make a return at some point? We shall see

its so awk trying to talk to annabelle bc 1 she doesnt talk to me but more importantly idk what to say like. she feels betrayed but sharkys the one who threw nathans name out NNN she should be glad if it were up to me shed be in ponderosa right now ASFKJADSHFKJS. idk like i literally just forced a convo with her so i could confront her about leaking to sharky and she just ghosts. i want DRAMA. i want TEA. and yet nothing. maybe instead of doing the most i should be doing immunity but counting is literally so anxiety inducing and daunting JKHDAFSDKJFHKJ. anyways 6th is cute too

FUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuoooouuoock me. I got to 626 to pay my respect to Stitch and i mess up gojng down from 323 and put 321. I never wanted to cry so bad. I wanted to scream into the void. I cant even with this challenge. I restarted and back at 404. Its 1:25 and deadline 5. Hopefully itll be enough time.

OK, so I definitely won't win immunity, but I tried to do well!  I don't think my submission will be good enough, but I can hope and pray it is!!  I don't even know if I fucked up, but I don't think I did... so hopefully 317 is the number for me!!

In other tea time news, Nathan... ya... um... when you see this I want you to truly understand how heartbroken I am at what happened.  I knew with all the strong-minded gameplay and trust you had in me that we would've been final 2 given the chance, but I also think that what threw me off was Annabelle's constant tea spilling at Sharky and the fact that your closest allies (aside from myself) were her and Maynor, who I like but have little to no actual game relationship with.  In addition, your desire to take out Matt every single round of the merge?  Wig.

I also found out Bryce was the other Matt vote during the merge vote... so... wow I'm powerful....

According to me and Bryce's plans in this game, ideally, Sharky will go this round... but after sending home Nathan last round, my whole ass heart is on some different shit.  I just feel like me doing that would be another rough ass round, and I don't think I could handle it.  It was easier when people like Nick, who annoyed me on a game level, were the names being thrown out, especially with how cocky he was... but now I'm like... wow, these people?  Amazing.

I think Sharky winning immunity wouldn't be too bad because then I can finally push Annabelle out and won't have to worry about her, so I'm banking on that!  I don't wanna ruin Bryce and I's plans in this game, I just feel more confident sitting with Sharky than like anyone else.

I also think my relationship with Maynor is so much better, and I can actually work with him further down the road.  He sketched me out a lot in the past, but I really think it's a solid ally for me if I can get him passed this round.  Annabelle or Sharky are the ideal targets, but I'm really feeling an Annabelle vote this round.  I may not be in the best spot for immunity this round, but I know I'll have my A-game on and ready next round, so I'm READY.

I was doing so well in this challenge. I had like 900 and I screwed up. Now I'm feeling the pressure. And I keep messing up. Now I've got less than 3 hours to make it up and hopefully finally win something. Brian told me he did not do well. And I don't want anyone else to win because it will limit our options going forward.

I'm over it. I screwed up HARD. And now I have like no time to recover. I'm over it.

I decided to go back to 626. And at 2:41pm i was able to get back down to 1. Im happy but i really hope that was enough because if it wasnt then im going to cry. I really want to win this. Stitch my favorite please give me luck. 🦑

last round was so risky i hope it doesnt just get me 6th. i tried to get together with anna again and i think we are but maynor not so much which sucks but as long as brian is real with wanting to keep me i should be good imagine if it was fake and he wasnt really taking me to the end NNN adsjkfhadskj the gag of the season? but ugh sharky really wants me out again like maybe get a clue and stop.

That was upsetting. But Bryce did really well so I applaud him. Its most likely going to be me tomorrow night. It sucks but i can at least try and see if i can find a way to stay.

There is some hope. Annabelle and I want to make it a tie with Matt. And when its rock time, Brian or Sharky hopefully get the odd color and they are sent home. Thats the only play right now that I think can save me. I have to rely on Bryce who i dont trust at all anymore. But kind of have to if i want to survive tomorrow.

i'm down for some mutual destruction this vote. I hope that this pays off or it could totally fuck me over but it is what it is if this works out i'll take this as like a win for nathan and i'll  be in a much better spot i think. wish me luck <3

I WON IMMUNITY PPL CAN TRY TO COME FOR ME BUT THEY CANT SURE MAYBE I PLAYED BAD IDK I HAVE BAD SENSE OF SELF WORTH BUT MAYBE I DID PLAY WELL BUT MAYBE I DIDNT BUT U KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND FACTS!!! ME WINNING THIS IMMUNITY. BRIAN DOESNT WANT TO VOTE SHARKY ALL OF A SUDDEN WHICH IS SKETCH BUT NOW THAT I HAVE IMMUNITY IM NOT AFRAID OF VOTING SHARKY AND HOPING ANNABELLE AND MAYNOR VOTE WITH ME IM TALKING IN CAPS BC IM SO EXCITED MY STOMACH WAS LITERALLY A MESS ALL DAY BC OF HOW NERVOUS I WAS COUNTING UP AND DOWN AND SEVERAL BREAKDOWNS LATER I WON WOOOOOOOHHOOO IT REALLY IS BRYCE HISTORY MONTH!!!! anyways yaa i hope f5 is me brian matt maynor anna and that brian is real one and uses vote steal there so we auto have immunity but maybe i try to win immunity again anyway to make sure im safe.... but then at f5 i think anna has to go but she'll be so mad idk maybe maynor.. or  maybe matt whomst knows KJASDHFKJS but wooh in this moment... i am at peace

Im convinced annabelle is like a marine biologist or something with how much she loves sharky! i just want him out KFJASDHFKJ i love being pushy jk i literally hate it but i just want him out its not a lot to ask and i feel like im getting played idk but at this point my loyalty is to brian so if he betrays me its like w/e NNN just hoping itll work out maybe i comp my way into a losing finalist spot... anyways i just got into dear evan hansen again so love that renewed obsession

The Fajita Fellas are actually a solid alliance. I know I've been skeptical of Bryce in the past but I'm actually starting to trust him which is cool. HOWEVER it's also an issue because if I'm going to keep trying to save Anna it's only going to get harder. I'm hoping this vote will be easy squeezy. I told the FF that Maynor is easy and least likely to have an idol. They seem good with that. So...we'll see.

I am very nervous for tonight. I am 2 of the options for Sharky, Brian, and Matt to do. Annabell and I are throwing each other under the bus to them. But our plan is to vote Sharky and hoping have Bryce with us and cause a tie. And on the revote hope one flips on Sharky or we go to rocks. And hopefully Matt or Brian get the rocks.

The vote is me tonight. If plan goes according to it should be 3 vote sharky and 3 vote me. Im really hoping they flip on sharky or that Matt or Brian get rocked out. 🤞🤞🤞

So this vote seems so simple, its like kinda amazing for once. Last tribal had so much deceit and lying to get Nathan out and this tribal is like. so. quiet? you could literally hear a pin drop. Maynor and Anna seem like they have legit given up trying to get further, with both apparently voting for the other. How quiet it is is making me slightly nervous, but I do know that if i do somehow leave i am very proud of my game I have played. and I will have the same placement as Standrea so like nothing could be wrong with that huh?

The vote ties, 3 votes Maynor and 3 votes Sharky.

Im died. It worked but now here is hoping for matt or brian to flip. Im scared n excited.

bro... wtf. Can I say I am mad at Bryce? no not really I saw this coming from a mile off, hell even from the other side as the Atlantic. so like mad? nah? Its just... making me so sad. Like I REALLY DO NOT want to go home, i've been through too much to get to this point. But like,... I REALLY love sharky as a person. Like, I love him loads so this is a REALLY hard decision. Fuck my life I don't know what to do

I HATE REVOTES. SO. MUCH. i AM REFUSING TO TELL ANNA ANYTHING cause i like know she will immediately run to sharky and if I am to flip I am gonna tell him first not let him hear via Anna cause that is fucking SHADY. she's just pissing me off tbqh and its just like??? at least be cordial and get off invisible for fucking once

i think the plan worked? it was so awk trying to talk to matt i felt bad but i hope he understands he said he did so! and like... idk its just so hm idk idk. hm. like brian and matt both prob gonna flip wooh. matt said i played well so maybe i did like i tend to never think i played well but maybe i did but maybe hes just lying so KJFSDHJFA wooh

BRIAN IS THE SKETCHIEST PERSON IVE EVER PLAYED WITH I JUST WANNA GO TO THE END WITH HIM BUT HES LITERALLY BACKSTABBING ME I WANTED HIM TO JUST 4-2 SHARKY BUT NO HE WANTED TO MAKE IT GO TO ROCKS TO FEEL BETTER OR WELL GO TO TIE NOT ROCKS AND NOW HES LIKE SORRY SHARKY HAS TO STAY LIKE NO HE ACTUALLY DOESNT HAVE TO STAY IF U VOTE HIM AND ANNA STOPS BEING FAKE AND TRYING TO KEEP HIM WHEN HES DONE NOTHING BUT LIE TO HER AHHHH THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING SJDKFHADSKJFHSDKJF DSHFKJADSHFKJADSHFKASJFHKADSJFHADSKJSKFHASDKJFHASKJFAHKJFS ps: i love everyone in this game... but in this moment? i was ATTACKED

It’s almost about that time. 20 more minutes. I am very nervous. I hope that Bryce and Annabelle stick with me and hope Matt or Brian flipped if not then at least go to rocks. Im really hoping that this move works. But this final 6. I ❤️ Annabelle. ❤️ Sharky. ❤️ Brian. ❤️ Bryce. ❤️ Matt. They are all awesome.

Brian is rocked out.

[survivortongatapu]

Episode 6 | "All This Is Cracked" - Owen Woityra

I definitely foresee a swap occurring after the Outcast Tribal. With someone coming back into the game, that'll make the cast 16, outside of Outcast Island. That would pit us as an even number, perfect for a swap. Honestly, I just hope that I'm either with Tim or Jordan so that I could easily work with them. Crossing my fingers that I do not get swap-fucked!

Carson is fucking fake, Jay broke my heart i get why he did it but at the same time it just feels betraying, meanwhile carson is just taking to you happily while voting you out! another steffen, it's so hard I am seriously pissed THEY WANTED CHALLENGE THREATS TO STAY so they vote me but WILLOW did worse in the competiton then i did, AND they wanted comp threats going forward but they voted owen out, like what... make up your fucking minds and stop being fucking fake! I swear to fucking god i hate my tribe, whay are they so god awfully fake. I am crying truly but I wasn't blindsided they barely talked to me today... They cut me because they thought i wouldn't be as angry if i got back in, well heres the thing.. I AM!  

Chrissa goes home. Hell ya! Not the best past with that one! Ryan says we have the night off and someone is returning from outcast island. I think we're swapping tomorrow! Ready for a butt fucking from this tribe swap and to get my ass destroyed

fhsjdf okay so first of all I got voted out of the game and I was shook that I got blindsided bc I was sure at least Chrissa would tell me. WELL Chrissa was next and told me she's the one who voted charlotte with me....i'm screaming faksjdh literally andrew carson jay SNAKES ! I wonder if Bryan knew about it but idk. Oh well. I wonder why they voted me out, I guess either they thought I was a threat or they thought I was useless. Probably both Anyways I get to outcast with...adrian and antoine who I voted out and then katie and kaci? I thought I'd be the one to go so I threatened adrian and antoine with my raffle ticket item. i was like im not gonna use this yet hehe but if I get voted out I cant use it and then none of u are coming back !!!! well i thought i was gonna leave especially since i had a pressure cooker and had to vote live on call for the world to hear lmao but it worked out fine bc that girl left anyways. I wanted to you my raffle ticket item but I couldnt do it live on call.... but now THIS ROUND the second most votes is goin in???? but the most vote s ist still leaving.... honestly katie and adrian had a huge fight but I'm pretty sure it was fake bc they didnt have it until the post that said someone was going back in?????? which is a huge yikes. Antoine proposed a plan to get Adrian out with 3 votes (him katie and chrissa) and send Chrissa back in with 2 votes (me and Adrian). I'm real sketched out by this plan because I think like...Antoine, Kaite, and Adrian could still be voting together and vote me out. I'm pretty sure they're going to actually lmao. BUT the one thing that doesnt make sense then is if they're working together, why wouldn't Antoine offer to vote for Chrissa and tell me to vote Adrian? because if they do vote for me it'll be 3-1-1, with me leaving and adrian and chrissa tying for second.....and at that point the person going back would be random. Idk all this is cracked, I think I'm going home tonight but whatever I really don't like playing with the people on outcast anyways they're boring. OwenHere's the thing. If Antoine is lying to me and Katie/Adrian faked the fight, then there's nothing I can do to change their minds and get them to save me. If they're NOT lying to me, then what should be happening is Antoine votes Adrian with Katie, and Adrian votes Chrissa. If Chrissa is voting for Adrian, then that would mean rn it's three Adrian, one Chrissa. I don't really want Chrissa back in the game because I think she would vote for me to go back into the game if I played my power. So I'm going to throw my vote onto Katie and see what happens. If it ties 3-1-1, then Katie or Chrissa will be randomized which one enters and I can pretend that Adrian voted Katie. If they're lying to me anyways, then my vote for Chrissa really does not matter at this tribal council and I'm screwed anyways. Soooo yeah that's fun!

Praying I don't get swap-fucked!

Things didn't exactly went to plan tonight mostly because of Owen who didn't vote for Chrissa like he was suppose to do. I'm glad he's gone to be honest. I was suppose to go home anyway but I wanted Chrissa to be send back and keep my alliance together. Of course, it would have been hard to predict another person was going to leave exile due to a crazy twist. Now, my fate will be based purely on luck and I don't like that. Hopefully I can get back to the game and get my revenge.

Okay WHEW we're swapped, and I'm fucking STOKED because this game is finally starting. I actually could not be happier that I ended up on Katie's tribe. We've got Katie, Jay and Andrew, along with Jordan, Raffy and I from our original tribe. Andrew is one of my best friends in this whole community, and I am going to be putting a lot of my game into his arms, and really let him have it. I want to show him loyalty, but more importantly, I think with the way he's playing, he's going to be targeted long before I am. Jay hosted me once, he's always stanned me, and I like him a lot. Jordan Pines is probably one of 2-3 people who I REALLLYYYYYYYY trusted from my old tribe, so this is a fantastic set up, to give me three people I trust in this game, it's a blessing. We've also got Katie, who is a very strong competitor. She has the second most amount of days recorded in tumblr survivor ever, and she's been around for awhile. I know she's got her hand in a lot of cookie jars, and she's also very close to Jordan, but if she's close to him, hopefully she's going to be close to me. Then we've got Raffy... I've expressed how I want Raffy out for awhile now, and he's a perfect lamb on our tribe. I am probably going to want him out first IF IF IF IF IF our tribe ends up ever losing, because this tribe is fucking strong as fuck, and I'd be surprised if we ever lose. If we lose, I think we could make it Raffy, which buys me at least a round to bond with Jay and Katie a lot more, and just hope that they end up wanting to be with me through this shit show of a tribe, as if our tribe even loses two times. I'm ready for a new beginning and this game to finally pick up. I think we're about to go through a good time :)

Well damn. So tribe swap happened just as expected, just not the way i wanted. Tim is with me yeah, but not on the nukuleka tribe i got an advantage for. And the two people i was choosing between working with, Johnny and Jordan, arent on my tribe either. While we do have the majority 3-2 on this tribe it means I’m now relying on Carson C, a wildcard in my book, not to flip. Unless of course, I decide to flip first. I could hypothetically tell old Nukuleka who we’re voting for in case they have an idol. Which would even the numbers out 8-8, but theres so many people still in the game totem pole management would be a nightmare. Its best to stay under the radar as much as possible, make connections but not shake things up until i’m ready.

[7:23:23 PM] Jay (Alcatraz Host): I think she went for challenge strength [7:23:32 PM] carson: me im just making this quick but.. really bitch?

Okay sooooo like..... 17 of us have to come together to vote someone out? Come again? This is going to be a MESS!! I already know people who don't have loads of great relationships with people on the other tribe (Stephen, Tim, Raffy) are going to try to make the ten of us from our old tribe all vote together and come to a consensus, but if I'm a betting man, LA or Jordan Pines is going to try to do something interesting, so I'm just going to see what they want to do, and hope to go along for the best. UTR is the move for this round. Don't want to make any potential waves like I've done on LOADS of other swap/twisted first round votes #Japan #SorryIsaac #AlsoCrossroads #FuckBranAndRyan So yea. Not tryna be that guy who makes a stand on a first vote on a swapped tribe. I trust the people I'm with, and I think I've got a bit of longevity

Alright so we swapped.. which is, fine, but Bryan and I are in the minority on our new tribe. It certainly isn't ideal. But that's not the only problem currently. We have an issue wherein we have a tribal council with 17 people. 17!! It's some kind of One World bullshit I didn't sign up for. We need an easy vote tonight... where's Regan when you need her?

Fuck Owen! Anyways, the angina this gives me is through the roof. I can barely  handle 10 people on a tribe, how am I going to handle this one world thing? It's just so ugly for no reason. However, I do not think that I am in any danger this tribal council. OG Pangaimotu is sticking together for this, and it seems like we'll be voting Bryan out to replace with someone else. Personally, I do not think this is a bad thing per se. Time to be boring this tribal council!

Tim’s freaking out a bit. He doesn’t want some one from our tribe to go so he’s trying to change peoples minds but that doesn’t really fit in with the “we’re pawns, use us” strategy we had. I may have to blindside him at one point.

I am tired with people always saying "I'll just go with the majority and I don't have a target." Plus, this original tribe thing isn't working out. Everyone has their own agenda and Tim is making me do his dirty work. Ugh. Now I'm going to have an unnecessary target on my back. Hopefully, Rob does not flip and I do not have to deal with him for awhile. To be quite honest, I could not give a flying fuck about any of the other tribes. As long as the person going isn't someone from my tribe, then it's fine.

So there is quite a lot going on in this round so I'll break up my confessional as I go lol.     First, a swap occurred but not any traditional one. Two returnees from redemption island got to pick their own tribes which is coolio! A twist was within that pick though! (The 5 people not picked became their own tribe). The gag is that I wasn't picked asdsfjk. So my tribe is essentially the new outcast island in a sense lol. So on my tribe is Carson C., Stephen, Bryan, Charlotte, and myself. When compared to the other tribes, we seem to be not so hot as far as winning immunity is concerned but you never know! Im feeling iffy about this tribe but im going to try and build connections with the new members I. E Bryan and Charlotte. Im getting along with Carson more which is excellent for my game plus he seems like a genuinely nice person! Stephen and I are already pretty close as well. (UPDATE: I flipped the vote on Adrian at least for now. Raffy did it for me which is perfect because I'm not seen as that much of a threat. It initially wasnt a part of my strategy, I'll admit, but it definetly worked out in my favor.)     Second, The twist that Owen unleashed is definitely a wild one!!! Going to a tribal with 17 people???? Crackdt. So I feel really really good about working with Willow when the time comes but she might be in danger. As of now I have two options, stick with the old pongaimotu for now or flip with Carson and do what needs to be done. Honestly we both had the same idea of flipping but I approached him first, Im thinking about the long run of the game and honestly someone going from my tribe is just not the thing that I want to happen. This game is like a freight train down track and I'm the conductor trying to get it back on track.     Third, I'm going to do a little speculation about the forest. I'm pretty sure the third path unlocked after this round. I just hate that I wasted my time going there at the beginning of the game! I believe that the other half to Stephen's super idol is there but I just have to find my way to it safely. 

So the vote was Bryan, but Tim and Carson decided it was a bad idea and now things have changed to Adrian. This might not be a good thing. Rob was pretty hard against it, and thought Bryan was shady, his sudden “okay” might be him conceding, or he might be planning to backstab us. Also this vote might place a target on Tim and Carson as they were the ones who stirred things up. Another thing that bothers me is how many people were left out of this change. If their absent they might miss the change and vote for Bryan, or theyre just laying low in which case theyre playing smart. Idk what will happen, I hope its Adrian, but as long as its not me im fine. I can always flip if i need to

God I love getting votes for no reason. Not only has Bryan come up to saying that I'm a target (along with himself. Source: Charlotte), but Tim has too! He said that Carson C told him that Andrew was throwing my name out there and it's just super ugly. I don't even have any protection! So now I just have to wait and suffer to see if someone pulls an idol out of their ass and I get replaced because of it. What have I done to deserve this? If anything it should be Jordan if they are looking to eliminate competition threats. 

So it was a great idea last night... Let's vote out someone on the other tribe.... Let's make sure that we keep majority and that we will stay awesome... But noooooo that's too easy. Why would you want to make this game easy.... I'm pretty sure that I have said that same thing but on the other side. Anyway, I have no actually idea whats going to happen tonight but it's going to be raffy or Adrien I think. Who fucking knows with 17 votes. Carson FThis joint tribal sucks so much! Adrian and Katie are back in the game, which is ideal for me. Katie didn't choose me for her tribe, and the NuNukeleka is stacked challenge wise. Adrian chose me for his tribe, so now I'm with Adrian, JD, LA, Willow, and Rob. JD hasn't added me as a contact, LA's barely talked to me, so I guess I'm working with Willow/Rob/Adrian!! There's this "superalliance" for the joint tribal of Johnny/Andrew/Carson/me/Jay/Jordan/Katie/Rob/Willow. I'm gonna work with Rob and Willow from this alliance on my tribe. The alliance seems to be targeting Raffy which is fine with me, as he's a threat and not someone I'd really like to work with. So, I'm bluffing and telling Raffy I haven't heard his name at all. Whatever!! Bryan and Adrian are the other targets and I don't really want to vote either as Adrian's on my tribe, and from what he said (people on Outcast Island were talking bad about me for being 2 faced), I don't want Antoine or Chrissa on my tribe sdkdskj. With Bryan, I have the Nukuleka bond so I trust him and don't want him out. Overall, I haven't been able to have much control over this round, but I'm just forming social relationships through the access to talk to everyone, which is super important. Hopefully Raffy goes, though apparently my name was thrown around, but shut down (according to Johnny). My goal right now is to lay low, and start playing at the swap so I don't get dragged down. Also, I'm gonna start changing how I deal with people being voted out as from what Adrian said, what I'm doing (being fake with people till they leave) isn't working, so I gotta change that, but I don't know how. I'm happy with this super alliance too because I really wanna work with Johnny and Rob. Wish me luck!!

We swap and I love my new tribe. I have Willow and Carson icons. I know I can work with Adrian and JD and LA can go. I'm sad Ant didn't come back but he can do it i believe in him. Then freaking OWEN uses the swapper and it's really annoying, everyone is voting and a person being swapped out for Ant or Chrissa. It can be good but they will be easy targets. My og tribe wanted to stick together and I didn't mind if it was someone I didn't care for, like Bryan. BUt they're trying to switch it to like the ones on my tribe and nu-uh. I'm not having that Raffy. I see you literally name every Nuku except the ones on your new tribe. I want Raffy gone because it's the little things that he does that bothers me. I know he gets really pompous too and controlling. I'm sick of it and I knew others were too. The vote seems to be Raffy. Andrew made a 9 person alliance with pretty much everyone I love? So i'm down and we have majority. But Jay messed up in telling Char and she told Bryan who told Raffy. Bryan is just sketchy and arrogant too. He's like another Raffy. Now I'm worried about an advantage and who would leave if one is used to save Bryan or Raffy. I will kermit.

AND OF COURSE HERE COMES LA AND JORDAN PINES (AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME) SAYING THEY WANT TO TAKE SOMEONE OUT FROM OUR TRIBE!! I'M FUCKING WEAKKKKKKKKKK. LA thinks that Jordan Pines is someone we should look out for, and Jordan thinks that our tribe voting for Bryan or Adrien isn't a great plan, and that we should do something EXCITING since we've been "bored" this whole game, but doesn't really say WHO yet. He just agrees that it shouldn't be someone from our tribe of six. (meanwhile I'm perfectly fine doing nothing and skating by a few rounds not having to actually play the game. Maybe this is why he's ALWAYS coming double digits)....... (jk this is me too FUCK #SelfRoast). So basically, I decided to go to Andrew to talk it out with him. I really wanted to express the people I don't REALLY trust from my original tribe, and to get up to speed with who he does trust (which seems to be fucking everyone except the people who returned from outcast). I told Andrew I got some weird vibes from Rob and Raffy. Andrew said that Rob was chill and a sweetie pie... Maybe the fact that he played in Cutthroat, and came in fourth, threw me off, but fine, I'm okay with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. MEANWHILE I mentioned Raffy as the other person and Andrew seems to burst into hysteria saying how bad he would want Raffy to go at this tribal council, and I'm like WAIT WHAT!? I mean... I don't really trust the man, but I also wanted him to be our first boot on our tribe, and I don't want to take the risk of Chrissa coming in to replace Raffy, if we decided to vote for Raffy, so now I don't really have much time to be online, but I'm trying to make sure that nothing bad happens to Raffy since I'd rather it be ANYONE who just isn't on our tribe.. That's the only thing I wanted to happen from this round, but oh well

Ok so I hate people cuz apparently my name was getting thrown around so fuck people. I don’t know what to do tho there is just too many people. And I’m so tired. Honestly if i go to outcast island I’d probs get voted out as well.

Welp. I'm guess I'm going to get voted for doing nothing

Let's see if I got Tim to rub people the wrong way so he could get voted out instead.

I have no idea whats going on. Johnny comes to me saying everyones voting Raffy. Then goes silent. Bryan says Nukuleka isnt working as a group so I told him to vote Adrian just in case someone does flip. I’ve told Tim and Jordan what Johnny said, Tim seems confident he’s lying. If Bryan is lying and the have an idol, then good, the numbers are different and they know I want to work with them. If Johnnys telling the truth and Raffy goes then fine, I just have to make up some ground. Worst case scenario? They’re targetting me and I’m off to Outcast Island. 17 person tribals is an absolute nightmare

I’m voting Raffy, I can’t risk mine and Johnnys alliance or ruin things with og Nukuleka before they start. Sorry Tim, this time I’m flipping.

From what Carson C is saying, Tim has an idol and is playing it on Raffy. Which is TERRIFYING because they could've lied and voted any of us instead of Adrian. SO, Jordan gets the idea to tell Tim that he's getting votes. Katie volunteers to do it. And if this works I'm gonna be so shook. Katie is an icon. Johnny StocktonOkay. I'm back, and madness has ensued. Jordan Pines made a chat with me, him, Jay, Carson, Carson, Andrew, Katie, Rob and someone else I forget who, but basically saying that we all need to vote for Raffy or Bryan together, and do something exciting that no one would expect, and that the group we had was the exact right amount of people to make a blindside, and not include anyone else. I scroll through the 300 messages in this group chat and I'm like OH WOAH OKAY. Turns out everyone has said that Raffy needs to go, which I emphasized to Jordan, Jay and Andrew quite a few times that someone from our tribe should NOT be going home, which is kinda annoying me, but I'm not going to say anything about it. Andrew and Jordan are both saying "you gotta trust me" and I'm just like whatever. The only thing that annoys me is that we have SUCH a strong tribe, and I get big moves and the fun and thrill of taking out a super strong player, but why the fuck do we have to take out a strong player, who has proven time and time again he's here for putting his all into challenges, and getting us wins!??!?! (which is why our tribe won so many times) Yet NOW people wanna axe him, especially considering 5/9 people in that big alliance are from our tribe, it just doesn't make sense. I just don't want a physically inept Chrissa or Antione on our tribe, but I'm sure they'll be fine, and an easy target if they return from Outcast after Raffy gets sent there, and it seems like that's what's happening considering the vote is in 45 minutes and I have only heard that Adrien is the other vote, and I know, personally, that Raffy is going, but Stephen and Tim are kinda left in the dark on that one, and I trust them both a lot, but I've just gotta go with the group and try to not ruffle any feathers y'know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it is what it is. Cya Raffy. You're going too soon

Hopefully, Chrissa is still on Outcast Island so that when I go there, I can already have connections. Then there is the fact that I've basically made Tim ruin his game so hopefully that ends with him shooting himself in the foot. Let's see how things turn out, though. Even if Tim has shot himself in the foot, him coming to Outcast Island would not be a terrible thing for my game as it certainly gives me a majority.

So I might as well record something about the last 48 hours. When I thought the Snakexterminators voted out Owen, we killed whatever bag of tricks he had with him. But no. What he told me when Kaci left Outcast Island was true and I was like- that was too fucking elaborate to be a lie so I want to flush it out. Like lets do that. No. He somehow found out that myself, Katie and Antoine were gonna vote Kaci and it was a 4-1 and he was spared... Flash forward to when Chrissa joins us. The Snakexterminators we wanted to create chaos. So that it was a possible 1-1-1-1-1. Not that dramatic but like lie to Owen's face so that he won't use the power to essentially break our trio on Outcast Island apart and fuck us over. So I decided to "call out" Katie. It worked like a charm, because it ended up being a 2-1-1-1 vote, which was not the planned result but still desirable cause Owen is no longer in the game. 

dk I pressed submit too early lol! Owen left. Its me, Katie, Antoine and Chrissa left and Ryan told us that one of us four with the second highest amount of votes will return to the game! Mind you it is a 1-1-1 tie between myself, Katie and Chrissa and it was also stated that if it tied, random.org was gonna be in play. The luck I needed Episode 2 is now deciding to work, because I get picked by the randomizer. Yay..... So the twist that came with me returning was that I get to pick someone else to return to the game with and we draw new tribes. I pick Katie ofc cause I'm closest to her on Outcast and I pretended to panic cause I only had a minute to decide. 

OMG! Back with Katie and hopefully a new life in this game. I'll play it cool this time and try to go with the flow. Well, while getting my revenge on all of those who voted for me.

Made it through the big tribal! Despite the last minute freak out over Tim having an idol and other Carson throwing serious shade at them, all worked out well and Raffy went 14-3. 14-3!!! I wasn't expecting it to be that good, but good for us. Me/Willow/Rob are the core on NuPangaimotu, and hopefully we can survive until swap and meet back up with the superalliance. I feel bad for other Carson because he's on a tribe with Tim and Stephen and Bryan, who all might vote him or Charlotte out. Adrian and Raffy apparently had some beef and had each other blocked before the game which is PROBABLY why the vote ended up being between them. JD and LA are on the bottom as far as I'm concerned, but I'll keep up appearances with them. The challenge is a Brantsteele Simulator and having to match it. I just spent the last 3 hours doing that and I feel like I'm about to die because I didn't even get a perfect score after all that. 360/410 is pretty good though, and I hope the rest of my tribe does good! Yeah, that's pretty much it. I feel like the strategy on this tribe will be.. relatively stagnant, which is a big change from Nukuleka. Goal right now is to survive and ride the wave to merge or the next swap.

Hey, sorry I didn't make a confessional during the actual round. I had a bad day but I'm here now! We swapped tribes and I got the BEST tribe. Jordan, Katie, Andrew, Raffy, and Johnny. We're strong and shouldn't be losing anything. However, fucking OWEN releases an ugly twist where all 17 people have to vote for one person to replace either Antoine or Chrissa. (Spoiler alert: THANK GOD IT WAS ANTOINE) My basic goal of this vote was to make sure that no original Nukuleka members left this vote. I completely trust every single remaining member of that tribe and if I can help it, I want none of them to leave before the merge. (Bryan's on thin ice though.) For this vote I was added to two alliances. One for my immediate tribe, consisting of Johnny, Jordan, and Andrew. And another alliance for deciding the vote, consisting of my tribe's alliance, plus Carson C., Carson K., Willow, Rob, and Katie. I'm hoping all of us make the merge and I can start really dominating this game. The vote was between Bryan and Raffy, and while both are unfortunate, I was more willing to give up Raffy. So that's what happened. Bryan obviously didn't like  that the vote was Raffy, so he told me that he was gonna try to flip it. So in case of idols and such, I threw out the name of the person I want out the most: Adrian. He voted for me, he played an advantage to vote for me a SECOND TIME, so he needs to go right back to Outcast Island. The time will come :) I feel like I have a lot of power in this game. I really do think I was one of the only people on Nukuleka to have multiple strategic conversations with Charlotte. She's super great and if she trusts me, LA and JD will be more likely to trust me. Obviously I'm not playing for fourth, so I'm not gonna go too far with them, but the safety for the first few merge votes will be crucial. I plan on going to the final two with Carson K. since he is my unrivaled closest ally. I hope all goes well.

So Tim is playing an odd game. He was very obvious what he was up to right before the vote, and it really disappointed me that he chose Raffy over me and the rest of Pangaimotu. What is worse is that he told Raffy about my half of the superidol, and assumed I had told other people. This are unsalvagable with him, and I would like to vote him out next given the chance. However. His strange behaviour might mean he has an idol, and he’d be nuts not to use it if we go to tribal. And tbh I trust Bryan more than Carson C at the moment, so the most likely scenario if we go to tribal is the old Nukuleka tribe members and I vote Carson, while being coy enough that Tim thinks we’re voting him but not obvious enough that he will catch on. Of course this all depends on whether we lose immunity. And with this challenge god knows what will happen next.

Raffy is gone it sucks so much! And plus this challenge is UGLY!! So catch me on outcast island maybe fjsksksks.

Okay, so Raffy's gone and I'm PISSED!! I'm not mad that Raffy is gone entirely, I came to terms with that happening, but what I'm EXTREMELY PISSED with is Stephen and Tim! Not gonna lie.... Johnny made an oopsies and decided that I wanted to be a good ally to Stephen and Tim, and tell them that they might want to change their vote.. Moreso Stephen than Tim since y'know, Stephen and I have a f2 and all, so I didn't really want him to be blindsided and think I didn't trust him AND THEN us not be able to speak to each other since we were being thrown on opposite tribes right after tribal. So right.. I trust Stephen, and I spill it a bit to Tim too, but nothing too major, and then Jordan comes to me, maybe 35 seconds later and he's like "Johnny I don't know what you're doing, but stop." And I'm just like wtf are you talking about, and then he's basically like "Stephen said that you told him that Raffy is going home and now him and Tim are freaking out, because apparently you told Tim too, so wtf" And that's where I lost my mind. I had messages from Stephen and Tim from right before tribal, and I completely ignored them. Those are two people who I knew would be free agents once we hit merge, and I knew i'd want on my side, and they'd be unexpected players, but ffs Stephen and Tim both partially screwed me, because Jordan called me out on exactly what I was doing, and now I'm not in the BEST spot, and I really need Jordan. Also, LUCKILY we didn't get Chrissa (since she's not the BIGGEST fan of me), and we got Antoine, who seems a bit stronger in challenges, at the same time, and he's a bit more like me I think. So now we've got Antione on our tribe, along with Katie, who was ALSO on Outcast Island, and they both made it to the point where they returned to the game, so they must've been working together that whole time, so they're probably close, and now Jordan and I are technically the only people from my old tribe who are in a definitive minority, and I'm NOT happy about it. I hope it doesn't come back to bite us in the butt, but I know I've got Andrew who is going to protect me, and hopefully I can get that relationship going with Jay too, and then if Jordan is still with me, he claims that Katie is going to be 100% with him, which may even scare Andrew and Jay at some point, and may want one of those two out, before they come for me.. idk. I'm just annoyed at this position I'm in. I'm sure I'm going to make it out of this tribe, and to the merge, but I'm just not a happy camper right now, and I'm not trying to get sent to outcast island. I hope this tribe can begin a challenge domination and never let it go. That's my hope at this point. I've got a solid footing, but still a lot of work to do. I wish Stephen the WORST of luck on his new tribe. If he doesn't go home before merge, I'll make SURE he's the first merge boot after being an idiot and taking what I told him and running to Jordan Pines with it (facepalm)

Toeing the line in challenges is hard. I want to do good to seem helpful, but not too good to be a threat. I want to seem like I want to win to not become a target, but I also dont mind losing so I can vote Tim out. Although I have realised something just now writing this. If I send Tim to Outcast Island that puts him and Raffy back together, and when they go to tribal if they have the majority theres a good chance if one or both of them returningto the game. I can’t even comfortably vote Carson C out because he will be betrayed by me and more likely to work with Raffy than the original Nukuleka people. To be honest it would be safer to win immunity untill Raffy and Tim wouldn’t have the majority, and then vote them out. Sigh, this game is nuts yo.

And this is why we shouldn't have voted out Raffy.... Now we're going to tribal council and I want NO part in it. I'm actually fuming with how mad I am. I guess the easy vote is going to be Antoine, but I'm not even sure I want that to happen

WOOO BITCHES LATE UPDATE BUT I SURVIVED THAT UGLY JOINT TRIBAL AND SENT RATFY PACKING!!! Oops. I really wanted to work with him but I heard he was one of the people who threw my name out so he had to gooooo. But yea. I go back to my swapped tribe. We have the icon Charlotte. I feel like I’ll be able to work with her easily. I’ve also been able to have good conversations with Stephen and Tim as well. Carson C is a work in progress. But anyways. We have this brantsteele challenge. It can choke but out of everyone in the games scores I got second so that’s cool. AND O YEA OUR TRIBE GOT SECOND PLACE AND WE GOT IMMUNITY! That’s such a relief tbh cuz I did not need more stress after the joint tribal. So yea. Bryan signing off! 

OMG RYAN SAID HE MADE A MISTAKE! WE MIGHT NOT LOSE BryanNVM RYANS A FUCKING DUMBASS AND DID THE RESULTS WRONG SO WE FUCKING LOST AND NOW WE GOTTA FUCKING VOTE SOMEONE OFF WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Ok so me and Charlotte have devised a plan. So Charlotte was telling me that apparently Stephen and Tim have beef from the joint tribal and that we should try to side with one of them. However Carson c did really bad at the challenge so I suggested to her we get the target on him and then after he is voted out and we end up going to tribal again if we lose, me and Charlotte will have the choice between Tim and Stephen. Woo! We love strategic icons!!

i just singlehandedly won the challenge for my tribe. why can't i just throw a challenge or not do too good because then im gonna be a threat at merge and UGH. like it'll make them indebted to me if they DO see im  a good challenge performer rn but I DONT NEED THAT. i dont know. i feel like throughout this game, i haven't really... been having fun? I feel like I've been kinda stuck up and boring and all strategy based (probably because of the many tribals) so I'm gonna try and do some more stuff like watch shows with people and have a good time because i think that's important in games because otherwise... why am i playing? (other than to WIN of course.) ---- i got a disadvantage in the reward! rip! rob got nothing, but he found a house with an empty chest so something was already found. (Also Carson sent me "tim's idol location" (tim might not even have an idol) during the joint tribal and it was damp and probably at the cave) other than that... i think i said this in my last confessional that it's pretty much smooth sailing for me right now? yeah. work on social bonds with adrian/jd/la (jd/la are.. barely on to talk to) and just ride out me/willow/rob. trying to rock the UTR until merge. hopefully carson and charlotte can get bryan on their side and vote out one of tim/stephen on hufangalupe. 

So we lost because of my stupid orb. Damn. So now I have to decide between voting with Nukuleka and voting for Tim, but risk an idol. Or I could vote Carson and completely betray Pangaimotu. Or I could vote with Tim, try and pull Carson, and vote out Charlotte who did worse in the challenge. Right now I’m leaning towards voting Tim, not just because he betrayed me but because I’m not sure if Carson is also working with Nuku.

I'm sad that Tim's tribe lost immunity, since it could mean he will be joining me in Outcast Island. However, this is a good thing for my life on this island because that means a definite ally will join. Hopefully, I can get Chrissa to join my side as well so we can take out anyone who comes into the island. If Adrian thinks this is his turf, he's wrong. Because I'm making this island my bitch.

As dangerous and stressful as this is its so nice to be on a small tribe. Less votes to manipulate, less variables. I’m trying to mastermind this bitch. It may bring me out of the shadows but i can slip back in hopefully after merge, hide behind whatever alliance bryan and charlotte can bring me.

If I play this right Tim will go home 3-0 after a 2-2-1 split with Carson C. If I playing it really well Carson might not even know I knew about the split and I can still have an option there. That being said I do feel closer to the OG Nuku atm. Carson actually had known me and still left me out of the Raffy vote, so idk what he thinks of me.

Ok so. Me and Charlotte are in an amazing position rn. So I had all three of these guy(stephen, Tim, Carson) messaging me within a 30 minute time period. And I’m like o my lord these boys are bugging. But the main thing is Stephen comes up with this wonderful plan to split the votes between Tim and Carson with me, char and Tim voting Carson and Carson and Stephen voting Tim. Like. First of all. Me and Charlotte don’t have to get it hands dirty and playing hard. Second of all, we get rid of our weakest comp link on our tribe in Carson C. Third of all, Tim will be pissed at Stephen so if we do end up going to tribal those two will be the targets. Lol. I love manipulating men!!

Bryan told Tim he’s voting Carson C, which is annoying. Now Tims voting Carson, who will go home with three. So I’ve asked Charlotte to vote Tim so without and idol Tim still goes home. This is risky though because if they think I’m too controlling they could flip to me :/

So with this round, either Carson or Tim is going to go home. I think from a game perspective it would be better to send Tim out but Bryan really wants to send home Carson. Ya girl don't care as long as it isn't her.

The most hilarious thing to me is how the tables have turned. I foremerly voted in the minorit but am now the swing vote at a tribal where I thought I was a gonner. Either I can vote with Carson and Stephen or Bryan and or Charlotte. Game on. I hope this isnt all one big ruse.

So Stephen wants Carson as of now and honestly I agree but for a different reason. Stephen wants Carson out because he wants to get rid of Nukeleka on outcast island which i think is not a good reason but whatever . I personally want him gone because A. He voted out Raffy. B. Everyone else voted out Raffy. C. The other two are better at challenges and honestly thats all that matters. E. HE TURNED ON RAFFY. ILY RAFFY. F. I'm totally strategic I promise.

OMG WE WON AND THE TRIBE I WANTED TO GO TO TRIBAL IS GOING TO TRIBAL BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A *FUCK* ABOUT ANYONE ON THAT TRIBE (BECAUSE OF LAST PLACE) EXCEPT FOR CARSON WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Prays for Carson

LMAO CYA TIM! Have fun on Outcast! Next up is Stephen!! whew

So plan changed. Tim is getting voted out. I’m sad cuz I liked him. But it’s gonna be a 3-2 vote so if he is safe I can say I saved him.

I meant to post this a while ago but it took a while to upload:

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1yONyIWKuiOlvOTV6S8RvWtuFD_8BfAD0 Since then I’ve talked to Charlotte and she said Carson is lying, but idk who to believe. For now my plan is to try not to go to tribal till I can corroborate Carsons story with people like Andrew and Jordan. When it comes to Bryan I won’t trust him as much as I could have, but I’m not targetting anyone on this tribe atm.

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #9: "we're here for the messy bitch game play right" - Annabelle

Tribal was f*ckin wild. Like didnt see that coming and Nicole we literally never talked so dont come for me. 👏

So far Nicole’s attempt hasnt affected anything. And plus Sharky took more of the heat and more blood on his hand and I did for coming up with the Nicole vote. Like im scream team to the end but like it works better for me if people dont see me as a huge threat right now unlike Sharky. I think i might be in a good spot and with an advatage with this immunity hopefully i can win.

Well... I refuse to be booboo the fool right now. I have conflicting information currently about who voted me so guess what? I am not gonna trust anyone LMAO. Everyone is denying and pointing the fingers at others and its fucking pissing me off. Like just own up to voting me so i can have a clear target my fucking god. Like goodbye see you soon!

from my confessional cause i just went off in it LOL about the last tribal: i know brian and sharky did not vote me nate and bryce are being fishy maynor seems non exsistant keaton is literally opening his big mouth and getting himself in more trouble i trust anna enough and nick thinks he is "iconic" for an idol play like boi con-fucking-gratulations that you can do something many have done before you

Like, im so done with these people, just let me play my idol in peace smh

So I basically threw this challenge. I just put myself for most of the positives and I put Keaton for most of the negatives. With a few random answers sprinkled in. I get so nervous about really trying on Touchy Subjects because Im worried about revealing my alliances and stuff. This way I just look cocky. And Keaton and I are already on bad terms so me putting him for the negatives might piss him off but probably not anyone else. Ugh

ok so me snapping and voting matt is really annoying KJFHDSAKJFDHS idk why i did that! i was crazy back then... so current thinking is that me/matt/keaton voted matt. and then nicole did keaton and everyone else did nicole. i dont think anyone suspects me but like they woudlnt tell me if they do FJKASDHFKJ apparently matt thinks that nathan did it and anna thinks that it was keaton and maynor and im just like :| FSAJDHFKD. also this comp is about to ruin me like my answers are def gonna make ppl hate me and plus i wrote myself for some good ones which i never do but idk im just really feeling myself so cant wait for the crushing weight of reality to knock me down a peg or two when i get like "next voted out" "doesnt deserve to be here" AFJKSDFHKAJ but maybe not... anyways i recently got obsessed with shakira again like.. im thriving

https://i.imgur.com/5o6sz3j.png when i tell u i screamed JKDFASHKJAD

Okay so Touchy Subjects ALWAYS blows up my game. Like I got all the ones that make people target you. Running the Game. Biggest Snake. Physical Threat. I even somehow managed to get "Trust the Most" and "Best Liar". HOW!? And now I'm super worried because if I wasn't on everybody's radar before I sure am now. And I have no idea who I can trust after those rogue Matt votes. I even feel slightly sketched out by Nick. He's acting...weird. And he keeps telling everyone there is a war between me and Keaton. Which I guess is sort of true because Keaton is throwing my name out there. And obviously I would rather him go. 

everyone is so extra JKDAHSKFJ matt making a post about how the ppl who are lying and saying they didnt vote him are personally effecting him are terrible like.. ok sorry for not exposing myself get over it u got 3 votes one of which were ur own and maybe if u were more active and didnt reply with one word responses no matter how hard i tried to get u to speak i wouldnt have thrown the vote on u. im just like so over his entitledness that ppl confess to him like who do u think u are KJFHADKJFDH. i feel like maybe im being too mean so if matt reads this after the game im sure ur just in ur feelings or w/e and u did say u had personal stuff going on but like thats not an excuse to go on tirades in the tribe chat when no one but u cares.

keaton is the worst person ive ever met (and i know zach :s) weird of him to choose white ppl saying the n word as his hill to die on but um i got the cannon ready to aim and hes going :airplane: to jury.

OK, so basically Annabelle wins immunity!  Good for her, but she's literally not doing enough for me to feel beyond happy for her kjHD... like she's nice and I like her, but at the end of the day, I really don't think she's doing much to propel herself and she's just getting kinda lucky... considering the first and now second immunity have been somewhat luck based... ya....

Keaton's the name being thrown into the mix already (it's only 9:11pm), and I really am fine with that this time around!  I like him, but I think he's just someone who can easily go now and it not be bad for me in the future.  He's already thrown out Sharky's name and basically called out Sharky to his face, so I'm kinda shaking in my booties.  As long as it ain't me, I'm happy enough to listen, but I just don't want any big surprises like the Matt votes, again.

Sharky has been thrown out as the biggest threat in this game right now, and while I think it's very apparent to everyone, I can't have him going anywhere right now.  No fucking way.  I love the shark man.  He's my favorite... he cannot go anywhere... I need him!!  So buh-fucking-bye, Keaton!  I may like you, but it's not enough to keep you.

Keaton is trash.

Let me elaborate on my previous confessional. So first Keaton tries to call me out for mentioning his name which I didn't do (I did admit to it to save the drama so thats partially on me) but he tries to call me out in public after the vote. Gross. Then after the challenge he starts gunning for me hard. He wants to claim I was doing the same but I wasn't gunning for him very hard. Because i didn't care if he went. He wasn't an ally but he wasn't a threat either. until he started trying to tear me down. Also let's be clear this all started because EVERYONE thinks he's rude and annoying. Then he tries to come for me in pms calling me out for spreading lies. Which again I NEVER DID. So I straightened him out on that. Then he tries to do the "If I don’t get you out now I never will and then we all lose." which is BULLSHIT. Don't get mad and angry with me just because I'm playing better than you. CHILDISH. Then in the tribe chat he says "As a player he can burn. As a person he's enjoyable." IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE HIM!? First of saying I can burn makes me want to really drag him. Also bro you and i don't talk you don't know shit about me as a person. You did that just to feed this "Feud" thats going on. STFU. Bye. Whichever one of us goes I'm glad I won't have to talk to his KIRBY LOOKING ASS anymore. I wish Marie had stayed.

Okay I can't lie I'm super nervous about this vote. I just don't trust anyone. I'm talking to Annabelle now and was like "I'm down to vote for anybody" because I'm not sure where she's at and I want her to know I am a vote for her.

Well. Good thing is that i wasnt dragged with with what Nicole said which is good with me. I didnt get any touchy subject which is also great. My two best allies Sharky and Keaton both did which means they’ll be targeted before I do. Which is awesome. Me and Nathan dont want to see Keaton go so we got Annabell and Bryce to be with us for a 5 person voting block thats going after Matt. Thats right, Matt is going home. Keaton plan was to try and distract Sharky and fight with him and have both of their names on the chopping block. This means that Matt wont see this blindside happening. And if Sharky has an idol, he’ll waste it cuz he won’t be getting any votes. Its gonna sbe wild af. Be ready.

Its been very quiet this morning. The plan has been set so im hoping that nothing else shatters the plan. The idol search doesnt like me as it likes Nick. Only thing i found was an advantage for next immunity which was an extra point butnit was touchy subject so i kinda threw it cuz said my name for the ones i felt where really bad. And i want to give a shout out for host Drew. You are an amazing and cool person.

OK, so Nathan has been going behind me and Sharky's back to target Matt... and I'm just shook to my fucking core.... bless Annabelle's big heart for telling Sharky because it gave us some room to snap hard.  I know Matt has an idol, and I cannot wait for him to pull it out at tribal.  I think that Nathan is thinking very short term and thinking him not telling me and Sharky is just some move he can make on his own, but as the Touchy Subjects' results showed us, Nathan thinks he's running the game but Sharky is actually doing it.  Getting this info... what a fucking legend...

Annabelle doesn't want to be screwed because of this whole situation so Sharky wants to avoid voting Nathan out but I lowkey don't care.  Nathan keeping me out of the conversation makes me lose all trust in him.  I know I'm not the target, but it doesn't change the fact that he's trying to run the game behind my back.  It's not going to work, sir.  It won't.

Ok... I'm angry, but I'm going to have to control that anger and turn it into making the best decision for my game and that will be to work with Matt and Sharky till the end.

Brace yourself this is going to be a LONG ONE. So last night I basically went to Anna and tried to save my ass because I really haven't been sure how genuine our alliance was because of our history together. She basically kept saying she was in a tough spot and this and that and so I outright asked her if she was considering voting for me. And she was like absolutely not. Which is such a relief. HOWEVER! She confesses that Nathan has created a secret plan to vote out Matt. He specifically told everyone not to tell me and Brian about it. EXCUSE ME? Aren't we in an alliance dude? So thats really pisses me off. But supposedly they have the majority for this plan. So that means I don't have to worry about myself as much. But I don't want Matt to go. Especially after this proved that he's one of the only ones I trust. So I'm thinking out of 9 votes we have 3 we can maybe use the steal a vote or something to try and get a majority. CUT TO THIS MORNING. I tell Brian about this secret plan and Brian tells me Matt has a freakin idol!!! So now we can use his idol and even if there are 5 votes left Matt/Brian/Myself control that vote then. Now the tough part...I need the vote to stay on Keaton because if it goes to anybody else Anna is going to think I screwed her over. And I promised her that her telling me wouldn't bite her in the ass. I also need this to stay TOP SECRET because if anyone finds out I leaked the plan they are going to come after me and I love Matt but I don't want to destroy my game to save him. So we need to have Matt use his idol and all 3 of us need to vote for Keaton.

God these people. I am VERY sure I am getting votes tonight and it's ok. Why? Cause I have an idol fuck these cunts. If not the WOOO love a minority!

i'm playing a super dangerous game right now but it's ok hopefully it works out we're here for the messy bitch game play right and i also just like play better in chaos so let's keep it that way once the game gets boring people will think of me.

Y'all I'm feeling real shitty about this week. I still feel super in danger. i feel like everyone is lying to my face. But I'm also worried for Matt. Luckily he has an idol so he'll be safe but the fact that he's catching votes at all is concerning. I hope it's Keaton going out but you just truly never know. This could be my time.

So it seems Matt might be an option for the vote but the questions I have are: Do I trust Matt enough to tell him he’s getting votes? Am I willing to make an early move? How will this will effect me moving forward? And when thinking between Keaton and Matt... I think I know my decision…

The shit hit the fan. Somehow Nick knows the hidden real plan that it was going to be Matt tonight. Keaton keeps lying to Bryce that he’s doing Sharky but Bryce is the number we have to have majority over Matt. Keaton is being sketchy kinda. Hopefully the plan goes according and Matt goes because last time he was doing a witch hunt for those 2 votes. Im going to be drinking at tribal tonight. Shit is too stressful.

Keaton is idoled out in a 6-3 vote.