#i wanted to get into more detail—about how some of jon's language regarding arya has an air of possessiveness
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thelustybraavosimaid · 11 months ago
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Hey! i wanted to know about your thoughts about how Jon would be like post-resurrection with the time skip grrm originally considered?
So that really took hold of me for the first three books. When it became apparent that that had taken hold of me, I came up with the idea of the five-year gap. "Time is not passing here as I want it to pass, so I will jump forward five years in time." And I will come back to these characters when they're a little more grown up. And that is what I tried to do when I started writing Feast for Crows. So [the gap] would have come after A Storm of Swords and before Feast for Crows. But what I soon discovered — and I struggled with this for a year — [the gap] worked well with some characters like Arya — who at end the of Storm of Swords has taken off for Braavos. You can come back five years later, and she has had five years of training and all that. Or Bran, who was taken in by the Children of the Forest and the green ceremony, [so you could] come back to him five years later. That’s good. Works for him. Other characters, it didn’t work at all. I'm writing the Cersei chapters in King's Landing, and saying, "Well yeah, in five years, six different guys have served as Hand and there was this conspiracy four years ago, and this thing happened three years ago." And I'm presenting all of this in flashbacks, and that wasn't working. The other alternative was [that] nothing happened in those five years, which seemed anticlimactic. The Jon Snow stuff was even worse, because at the end of Storm he gets elected Lord Commander. I'm picking up there, and writing "Well five years ago, I was elected Lord Commander. Nothing much has happened since then, but now things are starting to happen again." I finally, after a year, said "I can't make this work."
George R. R. Martin — The Complete Unedited Interview
You know, this is something that I haven't really thought about. I only haven't thought about it because there's something we just don't know: when was George planning to kill Jon with the gap in place? A year or two into the skip? Later? Earlier, or even after the skip, when he's had a few years of rule under his belt? It's probably more likely that it was going to happen after the skip, so I think the end result would be the same as the current book!Jon.
We know that death changes a character to the point where in some ways, they're not that character anymore:
And as I got older and considered it more, it also seemed to me that death doesn’t make you more powerful. That’s, in some ways, me talking to Tolkien in the dialogue, saying, “Yeah, if someone comes back from being dead, especially if they suffer a violent, traumatic death, they’re not going to come back as nice as ever.”
George R. R. Martin on the One Game of Thrones Change He ‘Argued Against’
And we have this, from Varamyr Sixskins:
"They say you forget," Haggon had told him, a few weeks before his own death. "When the man's flesh dies, his spirit lives on inside the beast, but every day his memory fades, and the beast becomes a little less a warg, a little more a wolf, until nothing of the man is left and only the beast remains." (Prologue, ADwD)
Jon's connection to Ghost takes the front seat in ADwD, so we have moments like this:
Jon expected hot mulled wine, and was surprised to find that it was soup, a thin broth that smelled of leeks and carrots but seemed to have no leeks or carrots in it. The smells are stronger in my wolf dreams, he reflected, and food tastes richer too. Ghost is more alive than I am. He left the empty cup upon the forge. (Jon II, ADwD)
--
He was walking beneath the shell of the Lord Commander's Tower, past the spot where Ygritte had died in his arms, when Ghost appeared beside him, his warm breath steaming in the cold. In the moonlight, his red eyes glowed like pools of fire. The taste of hot blood filled Jon's mouth, and he knew that Ghost had killed that night. No, he thought. I am a man, not a wolf. He rubbed his mouth with the back of a gloved hand and spat. (Jon III, ADwD)
--
Jon smelled Tom Barleycorn before he saw him. Or was it Ghost who smelled him? Of late, Jon Snow sometimes felt as if he and the direwolf were one, even awake. The great white wolf appeared first, shaking off the snow. A few moments later Tom was there.
...
The shield that guards the realms of men. Ghost nuzzled up against his shoulder, and Jon draped an arm around him. He could smell Horse's unwashed breeches, the sweet scent Satin combed into his beard, the rank sharp smell of fear, the giant's overpowering musk. He could hear the beating of his own heart. (Jon VII, ADwD)
So ultimately, I think the five year skip!Jon would have the same outcome as the Jon we have in the books: a little ruthless, a little different, and far more closer to Ghost.
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carbonitekisses · 6 years ago
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Unfinished.
Cersei’s fingertips thrum against the table. Her nails click against the dark wood. She is tired of waiting for men. The world would be better off without them, she thinks. They’re all treacherous scum seeking to feed off of the fairer sex. And once their appetite has been satiated they leave in search of something new. 
But a queen? A queen is so much more than a woman. A queen is power. And Cersei will burn anyone who stands in her way.
The Mountain’s towering presence draws her eyes to the door of her solar. Just behind him stands the sorry excuse of a pirate who would call himself her king. As if I would ever suffer another fool by my side. I’ll have the Mountain snap his neck before his breath ever so much as touches me.
“You’re back. Good. Am I to assume you were successful?” 
Euron Greyjoy tries to saunter towards her. He only succeeds in repulsing her. The weeks he spent away have diluted her memory of him. He is fouler than she remembered. The odor of stagnant ocean water can not be masked by the, rather obvious, perfumes he has brought back from across the Narrow Sea. Cersei looks towards her shield.
The Mountain strikes out a thick arm to stop his advances. Greyjoy lifts a dark eyebrow at her but doesn’t move any further. Cersei likes this. Who knew she would one day be able to command men with a simple tilt of her head? The Mountain drops his arm but stays standing next to Euron. 
“Yes, my queen,” his leer is more than evident in his voice, “I’ve brought back the Golden Company just as we agreed. Now, I expect to be properly compensated.” 
Cersei leers back. She is queen, and a lion. She will not be cowed by an irreverent squid. 
“Ah, yes. Your compensation...”
// 
It’s certainly not what I was expecting. Not that I know what I was expecting  to begin with but... Dany accepts Jorah’s hand as he helps her dismount the finicky Northern mare. Her eyes wander to Jon who is looking towards Winterfell. Nevermind that. I’m sure it is more inviting, warmer, on the inside. Much like its former king. 
“It is a sight I did not think I would ever see again. You have made one of my greatest dreams possible, my queen.”
Daenerys turns towards the old bear. She can see true thankfulness in his eyes. It is a homecoming for more than one northerner, today. In the flurry of action she had forgotten that Jorah would most likely be reuniting with family. She is glad one of her oldest supporters will soon fulfill their biggest wish because of her. 
“My dear friend, it has been a long journey but you are finally back home in the north.” She clasps his arm. “Mayhaps the north will become a home of sorts for me as well.” Underneath her hand she can feel him tense at her words. She knows her bear holds no love for the wolf that is slowly, but surely, melting the ice around her heart. Jorah’s jealousy is flattering but she knows what she wants. 
With a smile Daenerys leaves Jorah and walks towards Jon. The white landscape and the cold makes her uncomfortable but she will never admit it. What is a little snow and winter wind to a dragon made of fire? Jon remains facing towards Winterfell when she finally arrives at his side.
“We are almost there. I am eager to meet your family, Jon Snow.”
Jon hums his agreement. 
They’ve stopped to arrange any last minute details before arriving at Winterfell. Her children were sent somewhere close to the keep but far away enough to not cause panic. Jon had insisted. She was loathe to part from them but ultimately yielded. He probably knows the northerners better than she. Tyrion, and Varys are discussing some trivial matters with the Unsullied about what to expect in regards to their welcome. Details, details, details. I’m tired of waiting. 
Daenerys touches Jon and gently turns him away from Winterfell and towards her. He moves stiffly in the cold. I will be sure to warm him up later in his Lord’s chambers. “You have been awfully quiet. More so than usual. Should I be worried?”
Jon’s eyes slowly warm at her words. The corner of his lips upturn in a reassuring smile. No wonder Jorah is jealous. His worry over her is obvious now. In her very rare moments of worry, or anxiety he is always there to reassure her. She is quite sure he is in love with her. She herself doesn’t love him. Yet. I could. I am in danger of it. I feel it.
“No. There is nothing to worry about. I will speak with the Northern lords and make them understand that you are here to fight with us.” He pauses to collect his thoughts. “They will see you for what you are.”
Those words again. Just like before they light a fire within her. He sees her for what she is. A liberator. A savior. A queen.
His queen. 
The breaker of chains looks up at the last King of the North. He looks like he is holding himself back from a great emotion. He must want to hold me now. Daenerys wouldn’t care but he has been adamant in avoiding any kind of public intimacy for fear of repercussion to their political alliance. She admires his patience and fortitude. As mother of dragons she forgets how it must be for the rest of the world. To always have to care what others think or do. To not take without asking. Always waiting for permission. What a bleak existence that must be. 
A shout from behind breaks their tension. It is time to move again. Jon nods at her and leaves to mount his horse.
Daenerys watches his cloak flap behind him like  black wings. Soon she’ll meet his people. His family. Soon she’ll learn more about the king who gave away his kingdom for love. For me. 
//
It’s cold and the days are getting shorter. Gilly is used to it so she doesn’t complain. Everyone is in a frenzy. A horn of some sort is signaling the arrival of Jon Snow and his aunt. Daenerys Targaryen. The name sounds funny to her but what does she know of queens and dragons? 
“Gilly, come! He’s here!” 
Gilly looks at Sam in mild bemusement. He sounds like a child in his excitement. Gilly adjusts Little Sam on her hip and follows him to the railing that overlooks the courtyard. There is so much noise that Little Sam squirms in curiosity but Gilly strengthens her hold. It wouldn’t do for him to leave her arms. Not with soldiers and dragons in their midst. 
“Where are the dragons, Sam?”
His eyes never waver from the action underneath. “Eh, I don’t know. Perhaps they’re waiting somewhere in the Wolfswood?”
Sam’s words do nothing to assuage her concern. She has never seen a dragon. But she has seen creatures of ice. She isn’t sure that creatures of fire are any better. 
There is a change in the air and Gilly focuses on the men and women in the courtyard. There are soldiers in black leather with dark, sun-kissed skin she has never seen before. Exposed skin and no furs? How are they not freezing? Their armor is useless this far north. 
A head of white, yellowish hair stands off by the entrance to the keep. She, for Gilly can see her fair features, is surrounded by guards. That must be the dragon queen. Then where is Jon Snow...
Gilly finds him. His head of black hair is walking towards Sansa Stark. Gilly inhales her surprise. The Lady opens her arms and holds Jon Snow in a welcoming embrace. In the small amount of time Gilly has been in Winterfell she has noted how restrictive Sansa Stark is with her affection and touch. Gilly brushes Litte Sam’s hair back. She doesn’t think she has ever seen the Lady of Winterfell touch someone so intimately before. 
She wonders where Lady Arya is. If Sam is correct, she was the sibling Jon Snow would talk about the most during their time at the Night’s Watch. It seems she is not here to welcome her cousin home. 
“...queen Daenerys Targaryen.”
“Oh.” Sam mutters. “Oh, no.” No one is kneeling in the courtyard. Isn’t it part of their customs? To kneel? She read that somewhere, she is sure of it. But no one is kneeling when Jon Snow introduces his aunt to the people of Winterfell.
Gilly is confused. Is he no longer king?
Little Sam pulls at his father’s cloak until Sam relents and carries him.
Daenerys Targaryen walks towards Jon Snow and Sansa Stark. Unlike her soldiers, the queen is dressed in thick white furs that surely keep her warm. Gilly feels sorry for the men. 
“Winterfell is yours, your grace.” Sansa Stark’s voice carries in the stillness of the moment. 
Gilly doesn’t believe her. She has seen this woman care for her keep like Gilly herself cares for Little Sam. Daenerys Targaryen seems pleased, though. “Is Winterfell no longer the Starks’? What is going on, Sam?”
Sam continues to look at Jon Snow as he leads his aunt to the inside of Winterfell. “I‘m not sure, Gilly. All I know is this complicates everything.” Gilly and Sam watch  how the dragon queen’s eyes follow Jon Snow everywhere he goes. “Jon, what have you done?”
//
“He’s almost here.” Bran says. “Observe and take in as much as  you can. Go.”
//
The serving girl leaves the godswood behind her. She picks up her drab skirts and makes her way toward the courtyard. The king is come back with a Targaryen. Her curiosity makes her run fast and nimble as she weaves her way through the soldiers and serving folk. 
“Watch it, girl. You near ran me over!”
Anis doesn’t stop. Her hazel eyes drink in everything they can. The horses, the people, the carts. She perched herself atop a stack of empty vegetable crates to get a better view. She anxiously awaits for a sign of dragons in the overcast sky. The Lannister imp is here, as is a bald plump man.
Varys. His name is Varys. 
Anis has never met them before. But names are easy to come by. She notices the soldiers are well trained. Even in their poorly made winter garb they show no signs of discomfort. 
That must be the Unsullied. 
There is another kind of soldier in the courtyard. They are quite different and seem to be faring worse than the Unsullied. Dothraki. They are speaking a strange mixture of the common tongue and a language Anis has never heard before. Nevertheless, she listens and understands a few phrases.
“Cold...Khalessi...Snow”
“...Gold...lions...burn”
“...food...food...food...”
Anis turns her attention towards the king. He has finally returned to Winterfell. 
He’s finally here. Will he recognize me after all these years? Do I want him to recognize me?
Anis pushes these strange thoughts away. She is a simple serving girl. She has no ties to the king. She is only here to watch and observe. And so she does.
[ These are little snippets from a s8 fic idea. I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to writing it. But I’ve had it in my drafts for the past couple of months so I might as well post some of it, lol. They haven’t been edited or anything so sorry for any and all weirdness! ]
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fourtrisheafanfic · 7 years ago
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The Cloak: Chapter 4
Also on Ao3: (x)
Rating: Mature
Summary: A short dive into the beginning of S8 of GoT. Jon and Dany attempt to cloak their love as the great reveal and the tampering of others threatens to tears them apart. This will have romance, angst and smut.  I am not a GoT expert, this is not about plot points or trying to stay perfectly true to character. This fic is emotion centered and written for fun. I hope you enjoy! **I have no rights to these characters, all belong to HBO and Author of GoT** Mostly Unedited
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Chapter 4: The Cloak
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Actual GoT Season 8 – Casting call: A sassy/attractive girl, 18-25: GOT would like to find a "sexy and confident" young northern woman for just one scene. The role is "memorable" and will be with leading cast.
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Author’s Note:  Here is chapter 4, enjoy. It is ANGST - but no fear, this will be HEA. I don’t like reading sad endings, let alone writing them. A huge THANK YOU to my fellow GoT fanfic writer,  her work is amazing! - LustOnMyFingers (on Ao3, here she is: @tomakeitbeautifultolive  ) - for her help with how to add images to my chapters on Ao3 and for taking a look at this chapter beforehand.  xoxo
+++o+++
^^ The next day^^
Sighing softly, Arya finishes getting dressed for the day. Although Jon and his travel party arrived to Winterfell less than twenty-four hours ago, it feels more like a week. So much has happened in such a small amount of time.
My brother, Jon. I don’t care what Bran says…Jon will always be my older brother.  
Always.
Shaking her head, Arya never dreamed Jon would become King of the North.  The brother she loved as early back as she could remember, who was always made to feel as though he was not as good as the rest of their siblings.
Arya remembers the meeting Tyrion led after dinner last night. It was the Stark family members, Davos, and Sam that Tyrion requested to meet with. Jon had stormed in late, he was visibly upset but insisted that Tyrion hurry and get it over with. Tyrion was very factual and calm as he revealed what the Dragon Queen had decided in regards to the North and carving it out of the seven-kingdoms. The North would remain independent, and Jon would remain King of the North.
Rolling her eyes, Arya remembers having to pinch Sansa’s arm to get her to stop gloating with relief. Bran nodded as though he believed it was a good idea, or maybe he knew already from listening in to other’s private conversations earlier.
Davos was on the same page as Arya, both watching their king as the news was relayed. Jon said nothing. From the moment he entered the room after dinner, he was silent and brooding. Arya was starting to worry that Jon’s feelings for Daenerys Targaryen was much more serious than anyone was aware of.
Arya doesn’t care about titles, or who is King or Warden of Winterfell. What she cares about is her brother’s happiness. As much as Arya wants Jon to be content in life, she isn’t convinced that the Dragon Queen is right for him.  Especially with all she has witnessed in the last day, Daenerys came across as very cold and indifferent.
As soon as Tyrion’s meeting ended, Jon said goodnight and walked out. He had made it very clear he didn’t want to talk about anything else that evening. Sansa was very pleased with the new direction and needed to take lead on logistics for Winterfell, as the undead approach many more Northerners are arriving to Winterfell each hour that passes. Sansa was so relieved that Daenerys’s armies were comfortable with the camps that have been set up on the surrounding lands. We are running out of room for all of the Lords, women and children that need refuge.
With time on her hands before it was time to turn in for the night, Arya asked Davos if he would accompany her to visit Gendry. The smirk Davos gave her was enough to make her cheeks flush, but the loyal man happily complied.
Davos did make sure to tell Arya that once she was done spending time with Gendry that he would personally escort her, alone, back to her room…that same evening. Arya laughed at the old man, she could see why Jon appreciated his counsel and company so much.
They found Gendry working hard, helping assemble tools out of dragonglass that Jon had brought back. Arya has enjoyed finding Gendry again, and she finds herself wanting to get to know him again. But also weighing on her mind, is her need for information about Jon. She had known that Gendry traveled with Jon and Daenerys by ship.
Arya recalled what Daenerys had said to Jon in the small counsel room: “Almost everyone in this room got to hear us on the boat. So what if they also get to hear you ending things between us now?”
Of course Arya could guess what types of things people in the travel party had heard, but she wanted details from Gendry, and Davos as well if he was willing to share.
Unfortunately, as close as she and Gendry were becoming again he is very loyal to Davos and Jon. At least when it comes to Jon’s privacy. Neither Gendry nor Davos were willing to spill any private details of Jon’s history with the dragon queen. Arya knew that she would get no further by asking directly.  
Arya smiles at her satchel with her collection of faces, she will find another way to investigate if needed.
Groaning as Arya shuts her bedroom door for the morning – she recalls her late night of sneaking around Winterfell numerous times to keep an eye on Jon.
As Davos had escorted her back to her room, she saw a brooding Jon roaming the halls. She choose not to approach him as he seemed so very sad and unhappy.
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It was also last night that Arya begin to think about the incest issue, she hasn’t spoken to Jon about it as he refuses to discuss Daenerys with anyone.
Although not how they are raised. She wants Jon to be happy.  
Arya decides to walk to Sansa’s room before the dining hall.
“Good morning Arya, I am glad you came by. There is a lot to be done today, I was hoping you could help me with some things,” Sansa asks while signing documents at her desk. “Jon has not been…himself. I haven’t bothered to transfer back all of the responsibilities yet.”
“Of course, I actually came here to talk about Jon. I am worried about him,” Arya says cautiously. She decides not to tell Sansa about what she saw in the halls last night. Sansa can be so judgmental at times.  
“If this is about Jon and the queen, it may be hard for him now but it is good they found out early they are related,” Sansa says calmly. “Jon did the right thing.”
Arya’s eyebrows raise. “You know, we have history of incest in the Stark family, not even that far back.”
Scoffing, Sansa frowns while signing. “You seem to have put a lot of thought into this, my question is why?”
“Our own grandparents were cousins, Sansa! Our father’s parents were Rickard Stark and Lyarra Stark,” Arya protests. She doesn’t feel strongly either way, but there is still the part of her that loves to argue with her older sister.
“Arya, I am not concerned with family history. What I can tell you, Joffrey was a monster, he was insane…and his parents were siblings!” Sansa snaps, her irritation growing. “I think Jon is wise to worry about his future, especially since he most likely want children one day.”
“Ramsey was insane, evil even. Was he product of incest?” Arya asks.
Sansa rolls her eyes, shaking her head as a no.
“What about Myrcella and Tommen, were they insane and evil too?”
Sansa puts down her pen, meeting Arya’s eyes. She hasn’t thought of Tommen and Myrcella in ages, but she was flooded with both warmth and sadness.  They were good. They were kind.
And now that, like so many are gone.
“No, they weren’t any of those things,” Sansa concedes, a sad look now on her face.
“Evil exists, whether it is something someone is born with or due to their upbringing…but I don’t think it is fair to assume that children from an aunt and uncle are destined for ruin,” Arya says. “All I know is that I love Jon, and I want him to be happy.”
Sansa nods, she wants the same thing for her brother.
“Jon was so happy yesterday when he first arrived to Winterfell. Which was expected as he was finally reunited with his favorite sister…” Arya laughs at the scowl on Sansa’s face. “Have you really looked at him? I mean since Bran blew up his world...since he ended things with her.”
“I’ve been busy, but yes. I am seeing the same thing you are,” Sansa admits, knowing that Jon is miserable. “Arya, you should talk to Jon. And alone, he bit my head when I asked him about Daenerys. Don’t forget, it is more than just the incest issue. I think he is very upset that father is not actually his…”
“Sansa, father adored Jon. No matter what, he will always be Jon’s father too. In every way that matters,” Arya insists but agrees, she plans to ask Jon the hard questions. No matter how much he wants to avoid it.
+++o+++
Arya spars with Brienne in the courtyard after breakfast, both are testing out their new swords. Gendry worked throughout the night to finish both Arya and Brienne’s dragonglass weapons. Arya had mentioned that training with Brienne was able to challenge her the best.
Gendry immediately met with both women to gather specifications he needed to make their new swords.
Arya’s cheeks flush with warmth remembering the time she has spent with him, since just finding out he was alive just the day before.
“Arya, do you need a break? You look flushed,” Brienne chastised, a touch of humor in her voice.
Arya is about to push back when she notices Jon across the courtyard, he is speaking with a few of the Northern Lords. Even from a distance she can see his body language, he looks tired and put out. The dark circles under his eyes and preoccupation makes him looks year older than he is.
“I need to speak with Jon, do you mind if we regroup after?” Arya asks, smiling as Brienne agrees and turns to Podrick for his turn to spar.
Arya approaches quietly, Jon is speaking to the Lords to go over the weapon types that are being wielded with dragonglass. There is a dispute on whether the Lords should just pick weapon types or ask their men for their preference.
Arya leans against a wall, observing all those around her. The courtyard is full, Winterfell has had even more arrivals today. As the army of the undead approaches, the most northern houses have begun migrating their people to Winterfell.  
The hope is that it will just be as an unnecessary precaution.
Arya notices a small group of maidens standing on the opposite side of Jon’s group. They are watching Jon’s every move and giggling. At first Arya assumed it was the many young men sparing throughout the courtyard that were drawing the group’s attention, but after a moment it became obvious that it was mainly Jon that has captured their fancy.
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Arya notices a young woman in purple cloak, she sticks out from the rest. She seems very confident, and calm. Arya can also admit that her beauty allows her to stand out more than the rest, numerous men are stealing glances at her. She is quite the northern beauty. Arya has no idea who she is, nor has she ever seen her before.
Arya can also clearly see that this young woman only has eyes for Jon.
+++o+++
Arya approaches Jon as his conversation ends, he is staring intently at the fresh snow on the ground.
“Jon, do you have a minute? Is everything okay?” Arya asks quietly.
“Of course, Arya. I just looking at the snow…we must have gotten a snow fall last night,” Jon mumbles painfully. His mind has been remembering his conversation with Dany from the boat. He misses her so much. Every turn he makes, he is faced with painful memories of things they have talked about, moments together and now broken promises he has made.
“Yes, the season of winter does sometimes result in the falling of snow, brother,” Arya smiles, hoping to get a smile from. It doesn’t come.
“Is everything okay, Arya? Did Gendry finish your new sword?” Jon asks worriedly. He has witnessed how incredibly skilled his little sister now is, but the thought of her facing off with the undead army makes his blood run cold.
“Oh, yeah. Yes, Gendry did an amazing job. Look, Jon. I really wanted to talk to you about Daenerys-” Arya begins.
“No,” Jon snaps, cutting Arya off. “There is nothing to talk about. Leave it alone, Arya. Please.”
Arya places her hand on his arm, “Jon, if not me…who can you talk to you about her? Let’s not pretend that you aren’t in pain, that you don’t have strong feelings for her.”
Jon moves a step away, so that her hand drops to her side. “There is nothing to discuss, Arya. Dany and I are now over…and in case you missed the obvious, she detests me. It’s too late. I am asking you to leave it alone.” He finishes, then turning away from his sister before letting her respond.
Arya frowns, unsure of what to say. She doesn’t know the dragon queen well enough to dispute Jon’s assessment.
“I have to go, I’ll see you at lunch,” Jon gives Arya a quick nod before walking away.
+++o+++
“And there goes another one, this is painful to watch,” Arya snickers quietly in Sansa’s ear.
The sisters are watching as numerous maidens miserably attempt to flirt with the great King Jon. The comical part being the fact that Jon is completely oblivious to their advances.
“Why would Jon notice anything, he hasn’t torn his eyes away from Daenerys even once since lunch started. It’s almost pathetic,” Sansa says equally as quietly, hoping that no one overhears her. “How did your talk go?”
“Not well,” Arya answers and frowns. As Jon told her that he has no hope with the dragon queen, she seems to be the only thing on his mind. All he does is stare at her and brood.
Arya notices the beautiful young maiden from the courtyard again, she is sitting close to Jon but has not made any attempts to flirt with him. She is discreet and dignified, but Arya still sees the way she watches Jon carefully out of the corner of her eye. She seems to be waiting for the possibility that Jon will notice her great beauty and pay attention to her. Ready to speak to him, but holding back on initiating.
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Watching Daenerys Targaryen throughout the meal has also provided insightful. The young queen has not looked in Jon’s general direction even one time. In fact she has been very careful to never look at any of the Starks, Davos or Sam. She seems to be avoiding anyone that has anything to do with Jon. Arya wonders if she has any clue that Jon is basically watching her every move. Arya also wonders if she would even care
Arya reminds herself that Jon ended things between them, fighting her first inclination is to despise the queen for her role in his current unhappiness
“Jon didn’t want to talk about it, he is adamant they are over,” Arya answers Sansa, her mind deciding it is time she investigate more.
It is time to become no one.
+++o+++
Wanting to blend into the background, Arya choose the face of a plain, older woman. She wore clothes that made her appear to be one of the many servants. With so many additional people at Winterfell, Sansa has been utilizing staff from other houses. No one will find her disguise to be out of place.
Gendry and Davos arrived to the dining hall as lunch was ending, which could not have worked better for Arya. She knew they would be staying late in order to eat and then she could be part of the clean-up staff without them noticing her.
Arya walks over to the men, pretending to be deaf as she motions for them to lift their feet while she rudely sweeps under the table where they are eating. Davos and Gendry do as told before continuing with their conversation. Arya listens quietly while cleaning, pretending to not even notice them.
Davos sighs. “That boy has not even so much as looked at a woman in years. The queen opened his heart to love again. It’s quite tragic how things have played out. Of all of the women in the world, to fall in love with someone that is his blood.”
“I want to feel bad for him, but I really don’t. He has a beautiful queen, that is madly in love with him…and he just dropped her,” Gendry rolls his eyes before continuing. “It seems rather foolish to me. Love is worth fighting for, no matter what!”
Arya is glad she is wearing a mask, she feels her cheeks flush at Gendry’s words about love. She makes sure to be looking in the opposite direction, not wanting to see Gendry’s face. She does look forward to finding him before dinner this evening, they agreed to meet in the courtyard to spend time together.
“Look at you, one day in the presence of Lady Arya Stark and you’re suddenly a bloody love-poet!” Davos laughs wholeheartedly before directing the conversation back to Jon. “The truth is no one can force Jon to accept who and what he is. Just as no one could ever force the dragon queen to forgive the king if he ever tried to win her back…”
Arya cringes, Davos appears to have the same concerns she has. Daenerys was furious and hurt by Jon…but now she seems to be completely done with him.
They say the opposite of love is not hate, instead the opposite of love is complete indifference.
Which is where Queen Daenerys seems to be now.
“No way, Davos. That queen loves him dearly. She risked her life and her dragons to save him. Yes, there were others that needed saving…but her face when it was believed Jon had died beyond the wall. I couldn’t even look at her, I felt so bad for her suffering,” Gendry reminded Davos with confidence.
“Aye, you bring up a good point, son. Eh, speak of the devil…there is our king now. We should best stop gossiping like old women before he hears us. Be ready to give Jon an update on the dragonglass,” Davos says while shoving a large spoon of stew into his mouth.
Arya resumes sweeping, as she turns her back from the men. She has yet to be around Jon when wearing a face. She doesn’t want to risk him recognizing her.
Jon storms over, his face is pulled into a tight frown.
“Davos, I was just informed that the queen has left Winterfell! How did this happen without my approval?!” Jon barks.
“Your grace…my understanding is that Queen Daenerys would only be leaving for the day in order to visit her armies. She isn’t leaving for good…is she?” Davos says, sounding concerned.
“Well no, of course not. She wouldn’t do that. But she will be gone all day, and I would have expected to have been apprised ahead of time. I am king of the North, I should know when the queen is going out on daily excursions!” Jon spits.
“Forgive me, your grace. But did you think the queen would have wanted you to join her?” Davos pushes back. Davos knows he is bringing up a sore subject for his king. But he also knows that if Jon is going to have any chance to fix his love life, he needs to move quickly. That’s if it’s not already too late.
“Obviously not,” Jon snaps, frowning at the question. Even Arya knows that Daenerys would not have wanted his company, she can’t even bear to look at Jon right now. She can only guess how dejected that point made him feel.
“I am the King, and I just feel it is my responsibility to make sure she remains safe while here, in my home.  That is all,” Jon says before turning to leave.
“Understood, I will keep that in mind moving forward,” Davos agrees.
Jon nods in thanks and begins to walk away.
“Oh, Tyrion has been asking. Any word from the south? We are still waiting for Cersei’s armies to arrive,” Jon questions the men.
“No, I will follow up with Varys. He is always in the know,” Davos says.
Jon nods again before walking out of the dining hall.
Arya sighs as she resumes her sweeping. She is worried both Jon and Daenerys are too damned stubborn to ever make up. Even if they do really love each other.
++o++ ++o++ ++o++
Jon finishes his plated dinner, he is eating alone in his private study this evening. Being so despondent he decided to dine alone so he could concentrate on work. Daenerys and her small travel party would not be back in time for this evening’s feast. Had she been at dinner he would have tortured himself some more, and watched her every move from across the dining hall.
It’s as if I no longer exist in her world. She won’t even look at me.
Another way he has tortured himself all day long was listening to the comments of men around him, all completely enamored with the dragon’s queen and her beauty. Jon has had to turn away from the many men that have stared at her with lust or appreciation since they arrived to Winterfell.
Jon slowly releases the breath he had been holding. He doesn’t know how he will survive when she marries one day, or even just takes a lover. The thought of her in another man’s arms sends a chill down his spine, a dull feeling in his chest.
Jon resumes reading his papers, Sansa has done an amazing job running Winterfell, but the war needs his attention now.
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Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jon recalls his awful night and then day. Miserable is the only word to describe how he feels. He was unable to sleep his first night in Winterfell, anytime he tried to lay down he would think of Dany. He missed holding her in his arms, he missed being able to love her completely.
And when he wasn’t thinking about Dany, he was agonizing over the fact that Ned Stark was his uncle, and not his father.
So Ned is my uncle, the same way that Daenerys is my aunt.
Groaning Jon dives back into his work. There is so much to be done. Pouring over maps, weapon counts, numbers of men, many hours go by. Jon fights to concentrate on what is needed, worrying about the things that have gone wrong are not going to save his people from the white walkers.
Jon doesn’t even know if he will live past this war, he could easily die. It dawns on him that he can’t imagine a world in which Daenerys isn’t alive. He is so torn about his feelings. There is still a large part of him that wishes he had just waited before bluntly ending things with her. He wishes he had taken the time to think things through.
Fuck, he loves her. He knows he does still. He never doubted for a moment that he would always love her.
He loves her with every part of him that is.
Jon wishes he had never learned the truth from Bran and Sam. None of it.
What he hates most of all, is that Ned is not his father. The biggest part of his identity came from being Ned Stark’s son. Jon feels a pang in his heart. He had been concentrating so much on the incest with Dany, and then losing her…that he hadn’t concentrated on what it meant to not be Ned’s son. Even his own siblings…are really his cousins.
Jon thinks about his childhood at Winterfell. How Catelyn hated him with such a passion. Jon knows that Ned and his wife had a great love between them…why couldn’t Ned have just trusted his own wife to know the truth about him? Surely she loved her husband enough to join him in protecting Jon. It was her deep envy of the unknown, of how Ned had come to father a bastard, that drove her to such hate. How could Ned not have trusted his own wife that way? A wife that he loved so dearly.
                Should Dany trust you now? Look at how you are treating her…
Jon is startled at the revelation his mind made. He realizes that he had been thinking of Dany as his wife, thinking of a marriage with Dany. He wanted to marry her, to have forever with her.
Jon feels completely off kilter, he fears he has ruined everything.
Placing his head in his hands while resting his elbows on his desk, Jon tries to think things through. He doesn’t know if Dany still cares about him, or if he even will have a chance to talk to her again. She wants nothing to do with him. He is lost in thought, wishing he could turn back time to the previous day.
“Your Grace?” a woman’s soft voice rings through his office.
Jon is startled, his eyes snapping up to search the room. He sees a young woman standing a couple of feet away from his desk. After deciding she is no danger, he doesn’t look at her closely. The truth of the matter is he just wants to be alone with his thoughts.
“You startled me,” Jon says. “Why are you here?”
“My apologies, your grace, I was asked to check if you needed anything,” the young maiden purrs softly.
Jon slowly releases a breath to control his emotions. He just wants to be alone but he also doesn’t want to be rude to this woman, one of his subjects. He is still king after all. “I am fine. If you have the time, the plates from my finished dinner can be cleared.”
“Of course, your grace, but maybe later. I am actually here to see is I can assist you in another manner. To relieve your stress,” the young maiden say confidently, stepping closer to Jon as he still sits at his desk.
Jon’s eyes snap up to meet hers, seeing her for the first time. Jon cannot deny that she is very beautiful, she appears to be about his age. He gulps, momentarily wondering if he is reading too much into her words.
“My family joined your travel party the last leg to Winterfell,” the young woman says softly. Jon then studies her, he remembers the trip and he doesn’t recall seeing her before. The only family that joined their travel party was the Karstarks.
“I actually looked for you the night before we arrived, in your tent…it was empty,” she finishes with a small smirk on her face. “I was hoping you could help keep me warm.”
Moving to the front of the desk, the young beauty is now very close to a sitting Jon. She unties the top of her cloak, baring her voluptuous breasts and leaning back seductively against the desk. Her cloak now having fallen around her waist. 
She places her hand to Jon’s cheek and speaks provocatively. “I have desired you for so long my King, and now that we face such eminent danger I want tonight to please you.”
Jon tries to control his scowl, “Desired me? For so long you say? Who are you?” He places his hand over hers.
The maiden keeps her smile firm, “I am Tila of house Karstark. A distant cousin of Alys, Lady of Karhold. I was in Winterfell the day you became King.”
There it is, Jon thinks. It does not escape his attention that this woman probably would have never wanted him as just a bastard.
“Is that the day you speak of, when you say you began to desire me?” Jon asks emotionlessly as he removes her hand from his face.
Tila’s voice falters as she is perplexed by his change in tone and actions. She answers his question honestly, she does lust for him. “Yes, you were so handsome and…”
“And I became The King, no longer the bastard of Winterfell. Isn’t that the most important detail you are leaving out?” Jon interrupts her. He then stands at his desk putting distance between the two.
Tila blushes, her robe still at her waist. She is a very beautiful woman, she is not used to such a cold rejection from a virile man. She is speechless.
“We are done here,” Jon says while trudging to the door of his study and as he is about to open it, he turns to her, seeing that she is still exposed. A look of shock on her pretty face. “My lady, you need to cover yourself up and leave.”
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Dejected, Tila pulls up her robe roughly. Realizing a moment of passion with the young king was not going to happen, and she is very disappointed.
Walking towards him with her robe back on her shoulders, but not tied, Jon can see her large breast and that she is not wearing a stitch of clothing underneath. Her eyes meet his, still inviting him to take her. Her eyes are dark with lust and longing. She is a true northern beauty, he will give her that.
Alas, Jon feels no desire for her. She isn’t the woman that he loves. She isn’t the one woman that has made him feel like a man again after so many years.
Jon steps back while pulling open the door to his study, waiting as Tila finally passes. He is just relieved to see her finally go.
As she steps out of his study a loud gasp is heard in the hallway. Jon immediately steps out behind the young woman, his eyes landing on Dany’s stunned face!
Seven hells!
++o+ Chapter End +o++
Find chapter 5 here: (X)
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