#i wanted to do even 3 3 3 but everyone who gets scrooge belongs nowhere else nothing is funnier

[hollowslantern]

Out of the mercs who is most and least likely to wear silly pajamas

YOU UNDERSTAND ME SO WELL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

okso right off the bat I can tell you spy is the least likely to wear a silly pajamas. he would maybe wear a (high quality made with the finest materials) pj set perhaps even with a (mature and stylish) silly pattern but in his heart of hearts hes a silk boxer briefs guy. a bathrobe guy. a lavish nightgown guy. a negligee guy.

pyro is 100% living the silly pajamas life. while perhaps not actual pajamas this cosmetic is called The Cats Pajamas and it's beautiful. would wear a kigurumi

sniper is actually most likely to prefer sleeping nude but in his line of work (everyone trying to kill you all the time) he can't do that with the peace of mind of knowing you're not going to be forced out of bed with no notice. actually i think he would be pretty unbothered by this because in a life or death situation his outfit or lack thereof has no bearing on his ability to shoot and stab people. but the others hate it and have threatened violence if he doesn't stop showing up to intruder alerts as if they're pussy out events. so he wears boxers. or thermal underwear if its cold. I think he travels pretty light and so probably doesn't buy himself jammies, but if he got some silly pajamas as a gift he would wear them.

he also has the cammy jammies and conspicuous camouflage which I do adore. it's cold out imma wear ma jamas

medic and heavy (do not separate them) are ALREADY wearing silly pajamas which has given life to maybe my favorite image in the WORLD.

you fucking woke them up. im like obsessed with these cosmetics though they're so beautiful. they're so bert and ernie

scout in his ideal world is wearing superhero pajamas, but out of his deep desire to get laid he mostly refrains and wears cool jammies. like boxers with flames on them or something. very likely to wear silly jammies but act like doing so is too lame for him .

demoman is primarily rocking the old t shirt + pajama pants look, definitely with some silly designs going on. silly pajama sets might not be his first choice, but he'll gladly wear them.

soldier would... honestly probably wear anything, like hes not the picky type about sleepwear. he'd sleep in his uniform even. but that's no fun. i think he'd wear a scrooge nightgown WITH the nightcap and slippers.

and last but not least is engie. he seems to me like a real heart pattern boxers and undershirt guy. but I wouldn't rule out his capability of wearing like, a wrench patterned 2 piece set or something fun like that.

BUT!!! if i had to assign each of the mercs only one of the following three classic pajama sets, based on what would be really funny (though they all would be) without going too much against character, I would give them the following.

scrooge nightgown and cap: soldier, pyro, spy, sniper

cotton striped pj's with bunny slippers: medic, heavy

heart pattern boxers and undershirt with socks: scout, engie, demoman

[one-of-us-blog]

A Christmas Carol (Doctor Who Christmas Special)

Today Jon is forced to watch and recap “A Christmas Carol”, the latest Doctor Who Christmas Special, as well as “Space” / “Time”, a pair of mini-episodes set somewhere around here in the continuity of the show. A ship carrying Amy and Rory is about to crash unless the Doctor can convince a Scrooge-esque miser the value of human life. Will he change the old man’s ways in time?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, first of all, I’m sorry this recap is coming in a little late! I was very busy yesterday with critically important activities that included sleeping in very late and taking in the current film being discussed by Act One, so, as you could imagine, I just didn’t have the time I needed to commit to today’s recap. Second of all, I need to apologize again, because I didn’t even realize I forgot to add a That Ain’t So Bad moment in my “The Big Bang” recap! I’ve since gone and retconned one in, but I’d hate for anyone to think that was a deliberate slight against the episode on my part. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to keep that feature going, but if I do decide to stop it I’ll be sure to officially announce it instead of just stopping it out of nowhere. With all that out of the way, let me say that you did a great job on your “Mr. Terrific” recap! This isn’t an episode that particularly stands out in my memory, and I feel like all of your criticisms were well founded! That Kolak was way out of line, and it’s no surprise that the people of Twylar decided to kick him off the planet.

Now, before I think of anything else I need to apologize for, let’s get to some Who! Buttocks tight!

Mini-episodes directed by Richard Senior and written by Steven Moffat

“Space”

The Doctor’s busy doing some upkeep on the TARDIS when Amy shows up wanting to talk. The Doc’s got no interest in that and calls for Rory, who, it turns out, is helping the Doc with whatever he’s doing. Amy’s mad that Rory gets to help with the macho mechanic stuff while she gets left out, but Rory says Amy’s a terrible driver and only passed her driver’s test by wearing a short skirt. Get it? Cause women suck at cars and can only get anywhere in life by showing some skin to appease their patriarchal overlords? Get it?

Anyway, the TARDIS gets rocked by something and goes dark. Rory dropped a coupling whosit because he was so busy looking up Amy skirt, which, in case you missed it, is short. Amy says Rory’s ogling is entirely her fault, and Rory agrees. The Doc gets the lights back on, and it turns out there’s a TARDIS inside the TARDIS. The Doc enters the second TARDIS but just ends up coming through the door of the first TARDIS. The Doc says they’re in a space loop and nothing will ever enter or leave the craft ever never ever again. Just then a second Amy Pond walks through the door of the first TARDIS.

“Time”

This new Amy says she’s the old Amy only from the future, and then explains the science part of this to the Doctor. In case you were concerned that we might find out that Amy understands anything scientific in nature, don’t worry, because she’s still dumb as hell apparently and only repeating what she heard herself say a few moments ago in this magical time loop. Rory starts thinking about the sexual possibilities involving two Amies and his one penis, because that’s just the sort of episode this is. The first Amy prepares to go into the second TARDIS, but not before we get a good old bit of selfcest as the two Amies talk about how utterly fuckable they each are and Rory watches on while masturbating in a corner. The first Amy steps into the second TARDIS and the whole loop starts over again. We follow the loop through, but this time we stick around with second Amy after first Amy’s gone. Just then yet another Amy and a second Rory walk through the door of the first TARDIS. These two Amies also want to bone each other, and, who knows, maybe the two Rories want to blow each other. The Doc sends the first Rory and the second Amy into the second TARDIS while he remains in the first TARDIS with the second Rory and third Amy. We start this loop over again, this time remaining with Rory 2 and Amy 3. The Doc’s going to set up a controlled explosion, and a second Doctor arrives to let him know which lever to pick and then the first Doctor heads into the second TARDIS and it disappears. The Doc tells Amy to put pants on so her shameful body won’t distract poor, helpless, utterly-unable-to-control-himself Rory again and this shitfire finally ends.

Special directed by Toby Haynes and written by Steven Moffat

We start off in orbit of a cloudy planet, which a spaceship is hurtling towards. The captain takes the bridge and informs everyone they’re crashing and that Christmas is canceled. Damn that Grinch! Turns out Amy and Rory are using the honeymoon suite on this ship, and they’ve called the Doctor for help. Amy hopes that once, just this once, the Doctor won’t be late, and her prayers are answered as the TARDIS appears.

After some holly jolly credits, we see that beneath all of those clouds is a large city. A voice over informs us that yuletide frivolity is a universal part of human nature. On Earth this is called Christmas, but on this planet it’s called the Crystal Feast and Kazran Sardick thinks it’s a heap of shit. Neo-Scrooge here loans people money and freezes members of their family as collateral. He’s also in control of the cloud layer surrounding the planet, and he could help out with the crashing ship but he’s cool with letting the 4,003 on board die. He also refuses to unfreeze a young woman so she can spend Christmas with her family and sends them on their way as the Doctor comes crashing down the chimney. He rambles for about twenty minutes before finally letting us know that the spire atop Sardick’s tower can manipulate the cloud layer. Only Sardick can operate the mechanism in the spire, though, and he’s not willing to help the Doc out. Sardick has the Doc and the poor family out, and the youngest member of the Torkelsons throws a rock at Sardick. The old man almost hits the boy, but chooses not to at the last minute. Sardick’s staff apparently keep forgetting they’ve been told about three times to remove the Doc, because he just keeps sticking around and deduces that Sardick isn’t completely bad. The staff finally comes to remove the Doc and put Nora Fries back in cold storage.

Outside, the Doc lets Amy know he’s working on things while the patriarch of the porr family warns the Doc that there’s a fish warning out for tonight. Turns out that on this planet fish can swim in fog. I’m sure that’ll come up later! Also, the CGI is dated by today’s standard, but the visual of the fish definitely holds up and they Ain’t So Bad to look at. The Doctor decides to alter Sardick’s personality to suit his needs ala Dickens. Back in Sardick’s room we see a projection of an old video 12½-year-old Sardick recorded which features Sardick Sr. being a jerk and hitting Sardick Jr. The Doc shows up and informs the old man that his servants are all gone and that he’s filling in for the Ghost of Christmas Past. Sardick reflects on his younger self and states that this incident taught him that no one would ever be there to help him.

The Doc jumps in the TARDIS and appears to 12½-year-old Sardick, announcing himself as the boy’s new babysitter. Through the projection, the Doc lets the old Sardick know that since his timeline is being altered his memories will change as well. Young Sardick explains that the whole purpose of Sardick Sr.’s sky-taming technology was to make sure the sky fish are only able to swim amongst the people when they want them to. The Doc rigs up a sonic lure and gets a fish to swim into Sardick’s room. It’s tiny, but it’s followed by a shark, which eats the smaller fish and the sonic screwdriver in one bit. The Doc hides in the closet with Sardick. The shark bursts into the closet but gets wedged in the door, giving the Doc a chance to reach inside of its mouth and get part of the screwdriver back. He stuns the shark, but now it’s dying because it can’t survive outside the cloud layer for long. Sardick decides to save it by cryogenically freezing it in one of his dad’s iceboxes.

Sardick decides to borrow the icebox belonging to Abigail Pettigrew, the young woman we saw earlier. Sardick says Pettigrew loves the fish, so she won’t mind giving up her box to save the shark. Sardick starts to thaw out Pettigrew, but turns out the shark followed the boy and the Doc down into cold storage and got a boost from the fog lake keeping all of the iceboxes cool. The shark gives ‘em a good spook, but then Pettigrew begins to sing and, like you’d think, music soothes the savage beast. Back in Sardick’s present, the portrait of Sardick Sr. changes to a portrait of Pettigrew.

Pettigrew, lil Sardick, the Doctor and the shark enter the TARDIS so they can release the shark back into the cloud layer. The shark, once more free to terrorize the sky, flies off, and the Doc and Sardick put Pettigrew back on ice. Lil Sardick cons the Doc into agreeing to come back and visit every Christmas, so a year later Sardick and the Doc unfreeze the woman again. They call down their shark friend and hitch it to a wagon so they can have some aerial exploits. With that done Pettigrew goes back in the box, while present-day Sardick reflects on his new memories. Throughout various Christmases the Doctor takes Sardick and Pettigrew on various adventures through space and time, but then suddenly lil Sardick is a young adult Sardick and Pettigrew is decidedly more interested in his company.

Pettigrew wants to see what her family is up to, but she only observes them through a window. She starts to cry at the sight of her sister and her kids, so Sardick does his best to comfort her. Pettigrew is upset because she can’t have this sort of life, but before we get any more exploration there the Doc’s inside with the poor family and Pettigrew and Sardick are inside. Pettigrew’s sister says Sardick will grow up to be a jaggoff like his dad, but Pettigrew says he won’t. Sis asks Pettigrew to stick around, but Pettigrew says she can’t. Instead everyone has Christmas dinner a night early so Pettigrew can get in on the fun. Back in cold storage, Pettigrew and Sardick share a private goodnight, during which some spit is swapped, while present day Sardick reflects on all his fun times with his frozen lady.

One Christmas, Pettigrew spills some tragic tea while the Doc goes on about Marilyn Monroe because Steven Moffat won’t let us forget for five seconds that the Doctor is constantly banging famous women in history. Also, boom mic.

Back in the freezatorium, Sardick fresh-lock’s Pettigrew back up and tells the Doc this is the last Christmas Eve they’ll be spending together. The Doc leaves him his broken sonic screwdriver so the young man can reach him if he needs him, but Sardick says he won’t need him. Back in the present, the portrait shows Sardick Sr. again instead of Abigail. Sardick reflects on a time when his father revealed he wanted to manipulate the cloud layer so that he could control the fish, and, by extension, the people. Sardick considered calling the Doc, but decided not to. Present day Sardick is still refusing to help the 4,003 people on the crashing ship, but then a hologram of Amy appears and declares herself the Ghost of Christmas Present.

In cold storage, Sardick is shown projections of all the people who are on the crashing ship as they sing Christmas carols. Sardick is unmoved by the holograms, though he does go to visit the still-young Pettigrew. Sardick explains to Amy that Pettigrew was ill when she went into the icebox, and if she were to be thawed out again she would only live a single day before she died. Amy says that’s more time than she’s got, and Sardick says that’s good. Rory beams a hologram of Sardick up to the bridge of the ship. The captain pleads with Sardick to prevent the crash, but he resolutely refuses. The holo-Sardick gets beamed down to cold storage, where he confronts the Doc. Sardick tells the Doc that he simply doesn’t care about the 4,003 people about to die, and challenges the Doc to bring on the Ghost of Christmas Future. Turns out the Doc’s already shown him; he’s brought lil Sardick here from the past, and now the boy is forced to see himself as an old miser. He confuses his older self with his abusive father, and old Sardick breaks down into tears and hugs his younger self.

This does the trick, and Sardick’s willing to help, but, not so fast, the controls are attuned to his brainwaves and the Doc’s altered Sardick too much for the controls to recognize him. Half of the Doc’s screwdriver is still in the shark up in the cloud layer, and the half that Sardick’s kept all these years is trying to repair itself by calling out to the rest of it. The Doc’s going to use the spire to broadcast a signal to the shark-eaten half. They have to use Pettigrew’s singing, of course, and after some soul-searching Pettigrew’s back in the plot. Pettigrew’s song is carried throughout the cloud layer, unlocking the clouds and allowing the ship to fly well enough to land. This also causes it to snow, much to the delight of the rabble. The Doc flies lil Sardick back to his time and then meets up with Rory and Amy while Sardick and Pettigrew enjoy their last day together by dashing through the sky in a one shark open sleigh.

The End

~~~~~

I’m straddling the fence a bit with this one! On one hand, the Dickens metaphor was pretty heavy-handed, but I don’t think that was supposed to be a secret. It seemed like everyone was having a lot fun while making this one, and Matt Smith had clearly had an extra cup of juice the morning before filming started, but Sardick was almost a little too over the top in his miserliness for my taste. The flying fish were a neat concept, and came into play more than I expected. I liked that old Sardick flat out told Amy that the Doctor was only trying to manipulate his personality to suit his own needs, because that’s definitely what’s happening here. Unlike in the actual A Christmas Carol, where the three ghosts are trying to change Scrooge’s ways in order to let him live a happier life, the Doc’s trying to change Sardick as a means to an end. The argument could be made that Sardick will end up living a happier life (for a day, at least) but that’s a side effect the Doc had no idea would occur going into all of this. I know we’ll almost certainly never see these people again so it’s not that big of a deal, but I couldn’t help but wonder about that while watching this one. Maybe I’m just feeling generous after hating “Space” / “Time” as much as I did, but I really didn’t mind this one at all!

I give “A Christmas Carol” QQQQ on the Five Q Scale.

We’ll see you again on Friday when Eli will wrap up the third season of The Golden Girls with his recap of “Mother’s Day”, and then I’ll be back on Saturday to kick off the fourth series of Doctor Who with “The Impossible Astronaut”.

Until then, thanks for reading, thanks for freezing and thanks for being One of Us!